The Chaotic Runner: It's safe to say that we all have it. That little voice in our head that tells us about the things that we cannot do, limiting us and putting us in a box to keep us from reaching our full potential. It keeps us safe, right? On today's episode of the Chaotic Runner podcast that we have called Limitless, we are going to be talking about when it is appropriate to be listening to our bodies to keep ourselves from pushing past the point of no return and into the point of injury. And we are going to be talking about when it is appropriate to override that little voice in our head so we can reach our full potential, talking about goals that may be coming up for us. Hi, I'm your host Bales, and I cannot wait to have you guys here for another episode of the Chaotic Runner Podcast, where the miles are messy and the journey to health and fitness is never ending. Let's dive into the chaos together, guys. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Chaotic Runner podcast. so I have a new guest here today for our episode we are gonna call Limitless, which is conquering and working past that little voice in our head telling us the things we can't do and overriding that into things that we can do. I have a special guest here. I have a friend of mine from the running group, Serenity, here today. Serenity: Hi. The Chaotic Runner: So welcome first of all. you are losing your podcast virginity here. You are this is your first time on the episode, or not only on the episode, but on the podcast. So I'm excited to have you here because Serenity: I'm excited that you get to take my virginity, so you're welcome. The Chaotic Runner: the pleasure's all mine. dear. And we're off. so yeah, I'm I'm excited to have you here because you're are one of these incredible people that I find is like you don't let things kinda get in your way. You kind of You go for things a lot and I it's very admirable. I Serenity: Think the word you're looking for is neurotic. The Chaotic Runner: Ner sure, neurotic. And I think we all are in our own little way. but you you don't seem how do I put this politely? You you don't have an internal dialogue. It's very external and it's kind of admirable that you are so extrovertedly out there. And yeah, so I figured you would be a great person to have on the podcast for this episode. Serenity: Well that's great that you think that, but I I know I definitely have an internal dialogue inside. The Chaotic Runner: Well, you definitely don't let it show. I mean, don't Serenity: All the time. Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: we all at some point, right? Serenity: Yeah, there's like, you know, whenever you just the idea of like having it's like if you could run this long of a distance for this pace and you can do it. But the minute that someone says, I'll run with you, you're like, You're way too fast. I can't do that. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, and that I I know I'm terrible for that where I think my first experience when I like I I hadn't known you, I've known of you for since I've been with the running group, but I I didn't really get to know you until we ran for like a good stretch of time a couple winters ago, I believe. And Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: I remember you kind of looking at me and you're like You're kind of fast, aren't you? And I'm like I I just kind of looked around, I'm like, you talking about me? Like what? Who? And Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: yeah, so that's kind of how you corrupted me a bit. We we spent a whole winter running together and then kind of snowballed from there. And I haven't looked back since. But yeah, it was one of those things where I'm like, Do you really want to run with me? Like 'cause I remember you being really wicked fast. And you still are really wicked fast. And and I was kinda scared to run with you because I'm like, my God, I am going to die running with this crazy chick. Serenity: Well, I guess, you know, some of the things you learn along the way and You know, I pushed probably too many limits sometimes and a lot of injuries. And so I try to be more chill. The Chaotic Runner: Which is hard. I I know I have a hard time cooling it sometimes and kinda get Serenity: Yeah. Cause The Chaotic Runner: myself into a little bit of trouble. Serenity: Yeah, 'cause it's like it's all or nothing and I want it right now, all at the same time. Or nothing. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, which in some cases Serenity: Or nothing. Nothing at all. Has to be everything The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, nothing. Serenity: or nothing. The Chaotic Runner: Yep. Yep. Nothing in between. All right, so first things first, for our listeners out there, we're just gonna kinda get people to learn a little bit more about you. What makes you the awesome badass that you are? so where did this all begin? Like where did running begin? I know you do a lot of other things. You do triathlons and you do swimming and cycling. where did it all begin for you? Serenity: Well, prior to those times that we call COVID, I would never have called myself a runner. I mean like one lap around a track and I would be huffing. But then COVID came and I needed an outlet because The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: I would not survive prison. You cannot The Chaotic Runner: Ha ha. Serenity: have lip chap in prison. I mean I've heard that you could like you know, put it up your butt to get it in, but that's The Chaotic Runner: my gosh. Serenity: but that's just that that's crosses a line for me and I need lip chat. So The Chaotic Runner: Yep. Yeah. Serenity: I picked up running in yeah, the absence of and then used and like when I first started, even running not like I couldn't run nine minutes without being gassed. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: And then I found my way to the running group also. And it just you kinda I don't actually really like running, but I also can't quit running because of like the all the social part of it. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: And then with the other things like the biking and the swimming, I had to pick up those when I became injured from running. The Chaotic Runner: Okay. Serenity: Because like I said, I went from like not running at all. And I think I did yeah, like my first fifty K was in the fall of twenty twenty two. So it's like two years. And then a couple of marathons and so I got myself some injuries where I picked up other things. The Chaotic Runner: And did you find that like cycling and swimming helped a bit? Cause I I've mean I've heard benefits from it. Like it's a bit lower impact on your your body. But I I I remember hurting my ankle not that long ago when I did my marathon. And I tried cycling and that seemed to make it worse for me, but that was just kind of how my body responded to it. So swimming did seem to kind of help it a bit, but I don't know. I don't know the science really behind it if it's low impact or not, but how d how did it help you? Serenity: Well, I think for me, because a lot like there's a lot of crossover between different runners that I know and then how they like swim or bike and because so much of my social life had involved like activities like running, I you know, you get very depressed and the weight starts coming up. So it was just a way to do something. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: And I mean, I didn't think that like I never used to like swimming. I mean, so starting to swim in the bay was actually The Chaotic Runner: Okay. Serenity: quite nice, but I wasn't really a strong swimmer, so I had to and then my second injury, that's when I decided Cycling was gonna be The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: the thing. And at that point, it's like, well, I've got all these three activities, so I might as well just do triathlons and call it cross training. The Chaotic Runner: That's a good point. Serenity: So that's my theory. if I just do all three things, then hopefully I will become less injured because I won't be doing so much of one thing. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: So I've almost made it one year without being injured. So so far so good. The Chaotic Runner: Which is amazing. Serenity: Yep. But a lot of the injuries are, you know, my own fault. The Chaotic Runner: And knock on with that way. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: I mean it's hard because you know you know that you can push yourself, but it's just learning how far to push yourself. without hurting yourself, like it's it's a really hard thing to do because it's almost like this again, this internal dialogue where you you're in this comfort zone and you're like, I know I need to push past that comfort zone. And you keep pushing because I don't know what is the motivation. It could be that you're trying to prove to others or you could prove it to yourself or whatever the case may be. And yeah, that's kind of when you Find that limit. Serenity: Well I have a theory about I kn that my theory has not been scientifically proven at this point yet. However, The Chaotic Runner: There's nothing scientific about this podcast. Serenity: I have a theory that any endurance athlete who is willing to basically suffer for period of time. They all must they all have to have some kind of trauma. The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: Because you're put like it's like and I also make the comment about long distance running, it The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: is the socially acceptable form of self harm because The Chaotic Runner: That's one way of putting it. Serenity: it is hard and it hurts. And I mean you Yeah, The Chaotic Runner: Yes. And we put ourselves through that willingly. Serenity: and you need to have something again. My theory is that. You need to have something in your history that makes you okay The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: with that level of suffering for that time. The Chaotic Runner: That's fair, yeah. What would your reason be? Serenity: Trauma. The Chaotic Runner: Trauma. Yeah. I just find for me personally, Serenity: Yeah, I mean The Chaotic Runner: my personality is way too ugly without it. I Serenity: Well that that too. The Chaotic Runner: I wake up and choose violence if I miss a few days. Like even if I miss a day, I've had people take me out the door with my running shoes in my hands and and be like, You just need to go. Just go. Just get out of here and go. And it's like, but but I don't want to today. Like I Serenity: Yeah, like if you if you run far enough or bike hard enough, you actually don't have the energy left to bury the hole big enough to fit the body. So then The Chaotic Runner: Yes. Serenity: they get to live another day. That's a win win. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, the village is safe. The people are safe. Everyone is safe. Yeah. Nope. That is a very good point. And I kind of agree with that because I know when I've had some really hard days, whether it be at work or personally, I I cannot I can wait, but I cannot wait to get out the door and be with the group and just run and run the day away. And I just feel like I I literally feel the layers of muck and crud from my my psyche just peeling off as I'm running with every Serenity: it's so multifaceted The Chaotic Runner: We are working. Serenity: because you have like the the the endorphins that come The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: from like the physical activity but plus because you spend like when you run in groups of people they're it's very social like you're talking like you The Chaotic Runner: Absolutely. Serenity: don't get that cycling or swimming but with running so then you get to develop relationships with people and you talk about whatever random thing. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: When you're out like but over the course of time hours and hours and hours. So I mean, there comes a time when like everything just put it all on the table. Like The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Yep. Yeah, like I said. And boy have there been a Serenity: What you got going on? Share it. Show me yours, I'll show you mine. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, right? Whip it out. Don't actually out. This is not a a PS Serenity: I mean The Chaotic Runner: for people whipping it out in public. That's not the point. Or is it? Serenity: I mean, I feel like there The Chaotic Runner: And games. Serenity: is a race somewhere for that. The Chaotic Runner: There probably is somewhere in the world. Serenity: Yeah, and then the other thing too, I mean, you know, thinking about like and I'm not sure exactly where it comes from, but there's just I don't know. It's like you get to like if you pick something and you're gonna do it, I just feel like I don't really know how to say what I'm trying to say, but doing different The Chaotic Runner: That's okay, go for it. Serenity: things, it's you The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: along with like, you know, the trauma and socially acceptable form of self-harm, you actually get to see like what you can do The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: in a more accessible way, because there's a lot of things. in life that you really can't I mean, you can't go find out if you would make a great astronaut. Like you can't just go walk into a courtroom and decide, let's see if I'm a great lawyer. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: But it's like an opportunity to just see if you can do it. The Chaotic Runner: Yep. Exactly. And it's Serenity: You know. The Chaotic Runner: and not I don't wanna say this and sound discouraging, but you kinda have to look around and find your people and find your community. and I find generally the running community is pretty open to everyone. I found. I I like I find with our running community they were very quick to be like, Hey, you're hey, fresh meat. but they were So everybody was so welcoming when I first started and I'm I was like I don't again I I don't know what happened. Like some switch was flipped and they opened Pandora's box and they pro everybody probably wishes that I could go back into the box, but I'm not in the box anymore. And Serenity: no. The Chaotic Runner: and like I was very quiet and I just kind of stood off in the corner. I mean, I still do now, but I talk a little bit more, but I I hardly said boo to anyone and I would go over to my group and would just kind of hover around my group and not say anything, just kind of stand there and listen to what the workout was and just dread it. but people were generally pretty understanding of that. And over time they kind of like you pride things out of me and other people have pride things out of me and and here here we are in all its kidney glory. Serenity: Yeah, I do yeah. I do remember you you were very quiet and I will say but the whole thing with pining your people. So going back when I so during that time when I first started running, I The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: was seeing someone and The Chaotic Runner: Okay. Serenity: they were not very nice. They were like so I mean, obviously there's like that that voice in your head that's Telling you that you can't do something. So this The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: person would tell me like that I wasn't fast enough, or my very first half marathon, it was just a virtual half marathon. The Chaotic Runner: No. Serenity: And I was planning to like run a certain amount and then take like walk break, run a certain amount. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: And I came off the schedule. Like I walked before I was supposed to. And he said to me, If you have to walk now, you might as well quit because you're The Chaotic Runner: Cheese. Serenity: not gonna be able to do it. And I was so mad. I was livid. The Chaotic Runner: I w he would have been missing some part. Like how did this No kidding. Serenity: It's like yeah, fueled by rage, I finished it. And like two hours and fifteen minutes, I mean, not bad. Or two hours and nine minutes, I The Chaotic Runner: Pretty awesome. Serenity: can't remember, but The Chaotic Runner: That's still pretty awesome. For a half, that's incredible. Serenity: Yeah, and like for someone who didn't really and then so there was a period of time where I kind of didn't run like that was just You know, someone like that's just Doesn't Doesn't bring you up, doesn't like doesn't lift you up. And I mean, and at the end of the day, if someone is running slower, you just lap back. Like whatever. It's a win-win. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, you just yeah, you you get some extra distance and Serenity: Yeah, it's The Chaotic Runner: walk breaks are acceptable too. Like sometimes you just gotta bring your heart rate down a bit and catch your breath 'cause not every day is gonna feel like things are working as they should. Serenity: Yeah, so that he was definitely not the right type of person and probably like The Chaotic Runner: No. Is this person running? Serenity: Briefly. He did briefly. Yes. he is The Chaotic Runner: Briefly. Hmm. Serenity: known The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: brief. But then he left, I think, and has never came back. The Chaotic Runner: Okay. Okay. Serenity: But yeah, he was he was there briefly. The Chaotic Runner: Hmm. Yeah, no, not cool. Serenity: Before you started, but The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Not cool. But yeah, definitely finding your people that kind of uplift you. And I I just generally find our our running community, our social circle is pretty accepting of everyone. Serenity: yeah. The Chaotic Runner: And I I mean I wouldn't have done the things that I've done recently without everybody's encouragement. Like I think I would have stayed in my little bubble with my three K and very sporadically running by myself and being in my head all the time and yeah, I just it it was just kinda nice being able to get out of my shell a little bit, starting to run with this community and and even with like finding a good gym that has a positive community that you can work out in and finding a sport that again you find your people and I don't know, just kinda helps break down the barriers a little bit more. Serenity: It does. And I would say on the pace I am Barely s like when I it's another thing. Being injured as much as I happen. The whole like when you can't go fast all the time. The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: Because that's how get more injured. And The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: I know like so there are other times too. Like there's a cycling group in the area. So I've so I'll look and see who signed up in different rides. So I know that some people are like super fast. And I've done them before. And it's like I go in there and I feel like now I just like I pretty much just say how I'm feeling, get it out there. So The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: it's like, hey, how are you? I'm scared shitless. I'm going to die. Don't kill me, please. Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: And that's just how it's gonna be today. Serenity: It's like I feel bad The Chaotic Runner: Well at least you're on it. Serenity: that I'm slowing you down. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: Because I have no filters. So I mean, why keep it in my head when I can just put it in someone else's head? The Chaotic Runner: yeah, for sure. And it's Serenity: And then yeah. The Chaotic Runner: it's just so funny how we feel like we have to apologize when we're having an off day and we're not going at the standard that we think is acceptable for everybody else. Like I don't think people care, honestly. And I'm sure there are a lot of people that ca are okay with Serenity: Well and it's that whole Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: losing around and coming back for you. Serenity: And it's the whole comparison thing too, you know, The Chaotic Runner: For sure. Serenity: when you look at someone who's doing a certain thing, it's like there's so many like they are started at a different place, The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: or they've been doing it for like s something way longer. Or I mean when I was a teenager, I wasn't like playing sports and doing all kinds of healthy things. The Chaotic Runner: yeah, no, I I get that. I was the least Serenity: So The Chaotic Runner: athletic person. Serenity: Yeah, none of my teenage hobbies really paid off for me in terms of like stamina and insurance. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: So me compared to like someone else who's been doing something like since they were a kid or for decades, obviously The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: that would be unfair to myself for me to try and compare myself to somebody else. But The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, absolutely. Like e everybody's their own person and is on a different journey than than what you are on. Like sure you may be running the same race, but the goals may be completely different. Serenity: Yeah. And I mean it's a it's a hard I think that was like a hard concept to grasp. That whole, you know, so you think you like you worked so hard at something and I don't know, I guess there I've always so I'm super competitive with myself The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: with on road running events. The Chaotic Runner: Yes. That's a pattern I think I've noticed in all of my guests so far, well, with the exception of my brother. My brother didn't really wasn't really much of a runner and he did cross country and stuff, but he was more competitive in the sense of competing with others. But everybody else, like my dad included, said that they were more solitary and competitive with the their own internal dialogue and their own their own goals. Like they and I find that too. Like I am super, super competitive with myself. Like you should have heard me on this last Wednesday when we were doing speed work in the cemetery. Like I was saying some awful things to myself. Serenity: But it feels so good though when you do that, doesn't it? The Chaotic Runner: In a in a sick way and and I swear to God people thought there was something wrong with me because I'm trying to I was really, really trying to speed up a little bit and go at a much faster pace than I was used to because I'm trying to build that endurance and and I'd be like, Come on, you stupid bitch, get your ass over there Serenity: Ha ha The Chaotic Runner: And it's not very nice, like it's not stuff that you should say to yourself, but but Serenity: You know what I like to say that I find very soothing? Fuck me in the dick. That is my go Why? I do not The Chaotic Runner: That's a good one. Serenity: know. The Chaotic Runner: hey whatever works for you. Serenity: But a couple years ago though with the running, I would have I'd set a goal for myself. And if I didn't mean it, like I had a problem dealing, I would be so incredibly like angry with myself. Like The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: you went out too fast, or you did this, or you did that, whatever. So I mean that was The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, absolutely. Serenity: also a hard thing to wrap my head around. And it's only with like road. Road running, trail running doesn't matter, cycling, swimming, whatever, you know, I'm not as but the whole road running thing. The Chaotic Runner: it's easy to do because that's it's I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's kind of like a pack mentality too. When you're road running, like you kind of have a bit more of that opportunity to tune into the people in front of you, behind you, beside you, or you're looking at your fitness watch a little bit more and I don't know, you're trying to preoccupy your mind a little bit more with something. And you just kind of get Serenity: Yeah, it's The Chaotic Runner: swallowed up in it. Serenity: Yeah. So I'm trying to get better at that though, for the sake The Chaotic Runner: yeah. Serenity: of my steamers, trying to loosen up on that. The Chaotic Runner: Yes. It's hard though. Like it it everybody is their own worst enemy in some way, shape, or form. I I know I remember when I was running my first half, like I I remember being really overwhelmed when people were asking me what my goals were. Like I normally don't go into a race with a goal. Because I I'm worried about being being disappointed if I do. And Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: My goals are very, very simple. Main goal number one, finish upright. Main goal number two. Serenity: Ooh, I like it. The Chaotic Runner: Don't be throwing up in the bushes. Those are my two goals. If I complete a race without doing those two things, I'm golden. I am happy with whatever the outcome is. Fast, slow, hot, cold, sweating, purple faced, not purple faced, like I it As long as I'm not crawling my way to the finish and as long as I finish, I'm I'm happy. Serenity: yeah. You know, and I gotta I gotta thank you though. When you were running all of the the marathon long runs. See before that I always w I wanted to do a marathon under four hours. The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Serenity: And I didn't make it yet. And I thought I really was eager to do another one. But let me tell you Watching you have to run long ass distances every weekend and I only had like ten, like this is great. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: I may never do a marathon again. So thank you. Yeah, The Chaotic Runner: You're welcome. Serenity: like it was like damn. I'm so glad that I don't have to be outside for hours today. The Chaotic Runner: You can laugh at my misery. Serenity: Yeah. It was very nice. But yeah, so I just don't know if I maybe someday I'll do one more marathon. Maybe. The Chaotic Runner: Well, aren't you doing the opera half next year? Serenity: Yeah, but I ha it's Yeah, but that's like only half of marathon. The Chaotic Runner: Still it's half a marathon, like it's nothing to sneeze Serenity: Right? The Chaotic Runner: at. Serenity: I know you don't realize how long distance is until The Chaotic Runner: Until you're in it. Serenity: Yes. Like even five kilometers, The Chaotic Runner: Like buying Serenity: do you know how long that is? The Chaotic Runner: It's so long. Like when you're walking five kilometers, it is so freaking long. And then when you run it, it still feels long. And it even though you're moving faster, it's like, what the hell? Serenity: Yeah, and what one of my classic serenity moves is when you're doing a race and you're like somewhere you're less than a kilometer from the beginning. Maybe you're just like two hundred meters. And The Chaotic Runner: No. Serenity: I look at my watch and I'm like, I think I'm gonna take a walk break now. Because the two hundred meters is so far. The Chaotic Runner: It is time. It is. Like when we do have you been to the cemetery when we've done speed intervals? Serenity: yes. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, the the two hundred meter loops through the cemetery is so flipping long. Like even a hundred meters is long. Serenity: Yes. And then like The Chaotic Runner: But then when you get when you get to four hundred meters it's like, forget it. Serenity: And then like you have to do like more than one. Like you do like several and several more. The Chaotic Runner: Yep. Yep. And recover in between and then once everyone's ready and usually there's one person who's ready before everybody and yeah. Serenity: You you mean you actually get feel ready to go again? The Chaotic Runner: No. I'm never ready to go again. Like fuck, I'm one and done usually. Serenity: No. It's like I'm good. And for s The Chaotic Runner: No, I'm good. I'm done. Serenity: and speaking of throwing up, so I watched someone at the Triass Lawn recently. They crossed the finish The Chaotic Runner: god. Serenity: line and they threw up. But The Chaotic Runner: No Serenity: it was basically like just looked like water, fluid. So I mean if you ever throw up, maybe you'll be like that. The Chaotic Runner: I I doubt it. Knowing me and my luck, it would be some sort of ghastly color from the gels. Serenity: Yeah, that's something that I I w cannot push myself hard enough to exceed The Chaotic Runner: I I don't Serenity: the point where I'm gonna throw up. Like I can't do it. The Chaotic Runner: I I don't want to push myself to the point where I'm throwing up. I'm too much of a wimp like that. Actually, I shouldn't say I'm too much of a wimp like that. That's I know my limit. Like I know this episode is called limitless, but there are some limits we gotta listen to. When our body is screaming like, hey, this doesn't feel good, listen to it. Serenity: Yeah, and speaking of limitless, because I've been known to do dump things and like do too much and then regret it later. So I have this one friend. So she's my voice of reason friend. So she likes to tell me, like, I'll be like, Hey, I think doing this like eighty K on that one day is a great idea. And she'll be like, No. That's stupid. The Chaotic Runner: Not unless I want to see you again. Serenity: So I mean, The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: what you said, yeah, peep you need to know your limits because yes, if I didn't have someone talk me down, I sure I'd probably in be injured again. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Like I Serenity: Like this one time I was on a fifty K bike ride and then someone after was like, I'm just gonna go do thirty K for ice cream and I'm like, Okay, I'll go. But then she I'll misjudge the time. So The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: we ended up doing like hundred and twenty ish. The Chaotic Runner: my god. Serenity: And I had only planned to do like fifty that day. It was rough. The Chaotic Runner: Cheese. Serenity: But I'll do anything for food. The Chaotic Runner: yep. I'm pretty much the same way if there's Some sort of food that's not a gel at the end of it all, like a banana. Cookies, ice cream, pizza is another good one. Yep. That's that's a good way to catch me. I'm just Serenity: Yeah, and I mean but even that, that would've been like if you if someone would have been like, You're gonna ride X number of kilometers today, I'd be like, no I'm not. That's crazy. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Yeah, this is this is what I'm doing. You can do that and let me know how that goes. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: And I ended up doing it like basically like dehydrated and you know, terribly heat exhausted, but The Chaotic Runner: God. Serenity: And then I went on the bike again the next day. Like 70 more because again because The Chaotic Runner: My God, what? Serenity: I have I do weird things for food. We were driving, we were riding out to Staple. And I thought to myself, I shouldn't do this. I'm exhausted. But did I stop? No, I did not. The Chaotic Runner: Was there at least a good cheeseburger at the end? Serenity: my god, they were like these breakfast bowls. Or breakfast, they're just they were so delicious. They're like some kind of bun croissant. I don't even know. I can't remember, but it was delicious. It was definitely worth it. On the way back though, The Chaotic Runner: That sounds amazing. That sounds really Serenity: there was a time where I sat on the side of the road and just questioned if I was just gonna just die right there. The Chaotic Runner: That this would be the end. Serenity: Yeah. But then I'm like, The Chaotic Runner: The worst is Serenity: no, you're only five K away. You can make it. The Chaotic Runner: You can make it for that final five. Just ride it downhill. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: Coast. The worst is when you get like turkey vultures circling above you and it's like, I don't smell that bad. Like I'm I don't even I shouldn't even smell dead. Like why are you around? Serenity: Because they can sense the weakness. The Chaotic Runner: They smell the weakness. It's your soul leaving your body. Just for a brief moment. Serenity: And then You know, I think in life too that there's so many things that scare you or The Chaotic Runner: Uh-huh. Serenity: like you're unsure of or that you don't The Chaotic Runner: Well Serenity: think you can do, like singing karaoke. The Chaotic Runner: Yes, god. Yeah. And you just Serenity: And then but then you just go and you can do it. The Chaotic Runner: And you go and and do it and maybe shit your pants along the way, but yeah, you go and do it. Serenity: Yeah. But that's why there's laundry machines so you can clean your soiled underpants. The Chaotic Runner: Yep. And heavy duty laundry soap. For a reason. Serenity: Yeah, and I mean and there's so many things. Like you wouldn't you know, even joining a running group, like even that is so scary in itself. Like there's just there's so many things that are scary. And if you didn't go The Chaotic Runner: I remember being absolutely terrified the first night I showed up. And it was in the it was the winter clinic I signed up to. And so of course it was really crappy weather and crappy footing and it was freezing cold. And yeah, I was just not prepared for it mentally and maybe physically I was in some respect, but mentally and emotionally, I was just like so tense because I was so scared and I remember being dehydrated and the first thing we did was Hill Repeats on Alpha Street Hill. Serenity: Yeah, so The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. And it was just it was just not a fun night for me. But I I can't it s some something clicked in me where I'm like, you know what? I'm going to keep showing up because this is what I need to do. Like I need to get out there and socialize more. And and despite not feeling great, I had fun in some sick Demented way. Serenity: Well, yeah, and if you didn't push through like that discomfort and like wanting to run and hide, you wouldn't have met so many wonderfully hilarious people. The Chaotic Runner: absolutely. And you almost have to push past the discomfort in order to get better at things, whether it be socializing with people or developing a new skill or just improving Serenity: Doing speed repeats in the the cemetery. The Chaotic Runner: Yes. Absolutely. What was what was your first experience with the running group like? do you remember? Serenity: I thought I was go I'm like so I think they did A route so I ended up going, I think, with like the intermediate group, The Chaotic Runner: Okay. Serenity: and I think it was like a 10 kilometer route in like the last four kilometers because knowing the area now, that's like there's like a slight uphill bit, and I was like, I'm not going to make it, I'm going to The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: die. This is awful. What am I doing? This is pukocky. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: And obviously for I came back, but I think I must have like blacked out The Chaotic Runner: Yes. Serenity: after the hut. The Chaotic Runner: gosh. Well you got back somehow. Whether you Serenity: Yeah, I must have definitely blacked out, but I know my first well it was one of those times like just feeling completely over my head. Like un The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: I'm like I'm unqualified to be here running in public with these people. Who do I think The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: I am? The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. And I remember being so awestruck by everybody because everybody was wearing very nice running gear and they all knew each other and they were talking about their races from the year. And I just remember like meeting it felt like meeting a whole bunch of celebrities. Like I was being passed around and introduced to everybody and I didn't I couldn't even remember my own name at certain points because I I was just like, wow, you did a marathon? that's nice. What was that like? little did I know. Serenity: Yeah, little did you know. The Chaotic Runner: Did I know? But i I mean every Serenity: Well and also when you look good, you feel good and you run good. The Chaotic Runner: Mm. Yeah, there is that confidence aspect in there. And you got I I forget who in the group says it, but somebody's always says, You gotta look good for the race photos. Serenity: Yeah, I don't I haven't figured that one out. my face. It does these weird The Chaotic Runner: my face does some things. Serenity: things. The Chaotic Runner: There's a race motor that I have where it looks like I'm pooping. It literally looks Serenity: I mean where you know The Chaotic Runner: like I am clenching my jaw and I am having the biggest dookie of my life. I'm not though. I Serenity: But The Chaotic Runner: was just running really fucking fast. Well, fast running. Serenity: Yeah, I don't know how some people do it. Like some people they have nice photos. I don't The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: I don't get it. Like I The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, like I I don't understand how how people can look nice for photos. I'm envious of them. Like there are people out there who just naturally look like they are having a great time. And and truly I'm having a great time during the race. Like, is it hard work? Yes, but there's some part of me that enjoys it. Like I enjoy the thrill of going to these events and I find being on the course fun, stressful, but fun. but yeah, they they can just look naturally good in photos, and I I I can't, no matter how hard I try. Serenity: Well, you know Angry Cat, right? The Chaotic Runner: Yes. Serenity: So at the last triathlon I did on the bike, there's pictures of me and my face is making an angry cat face. I was like, I don't The Chaotic Runner: No, no. No Serenity: even know what why. I just that's what it is. It's very I saw it and I'm like, what in the hell? The Chaotic Runner: Something was going through your head at that point and it wasn't good. Serenity: Yeah. It was but it was it was good. It's it's good for a laugh. It is good for a laugh. The Chaotic Runner: yeah, yeah, you can definitely laugh about it afterwards. I I'm weird. I have a whole bunch of race photos on my phone. Like that's what my photos consist of on my phone. It's all pet photos and photos from my races. And just Yeah, like it's all comprised of like all these weird faces that I'm making and and my dad says that I I get like hyper focused. Like I get into this zone. And it's it's true. Like I I seriously get into the zone where I don't hear anything, I don't see anything, but I'm focused on what I'm doing. And apparently I'm not paying attention to the camera being there. But that's apparently my focused face is it looks like I'm pooping. Serenity: Good to know, but you do you do get into a zone. Like I remember one run with you. maybe this past spring, fall. I don't know. It was very cold. And I think it was like possibly raining. And I was dying. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: And I you were like just you know. Just evenly going and I'm like, my god, I need to stop. I'm dying. The Chaotic Runner: There is a lot of rainy days. I'm just trying to think of which one you're talking about. Serenity: It was like when we went out to like the teapots. The Chaotic Runner: yes, that was l last March. Serenity: Yeah. And you were like so The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, that was about a year. Serenity: so strong. And I remember that was one of the days that I was thinking to myself, Holy shit, she's gotten so fast. The Chaotic Runner: Well yeah, you Serenity: And you were going so fast and it's like, The Chaotic Runner: Well, I remember you you were just having one a an an off day and I was I kept thinking in my head, okay, anytime she wants to walk, sh we can walk. I'm I'm okay with walking and you were just like determined on keeping going and I'm like, I could use a break. It's okay to take a break. Serenity: I know, isn't And that's another thing. Isn't it like ever well, I mean, I don't know about everyone, but it's so weird because I love it when people that I'm with wanna walk. I will The Chaotic Runner: Mm-hmm. Serenity: jump on that walk. But yet I used to The Chaotic Runner: But it's amazing how we feel like we have to apologize for it. Serenity: Yeah, and I feel like I I feel bad when I wanna walk, but yet I The Chaotic Runner: yeah. Serenity: know that I love when someone else walks. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, it it's so bizarre. And meanwhile that person who needs to walk is the one feeling guilty about it. It's not something to feel guilty about. Like if you have to walk, you have to stop and walk. It's still time on your feet. Serenity: And then don't you think it's like why is that? Why is The Chaotic Runner: I don't know. Serenity: slowing down or walking like why is it such a Because it's when you think about it like in a training perspective, I don't think we it's it's not bad. Like that it's The Chaotic Runner: I don't think it's bad. Serenity: so but it's just so interesting that somehow there's this The Chaotic Runner: There's kind of this stigma or taboo behind it that it's and people feel like it's Serenity: Yeah, it's just an internal pressure, yeah. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I I don't I don't quite get it because yeah, it it I know I'm I'm definitely I've definitely felt bad when I've been like, hey guys, I need I need to tap out for a second here and and take a breather and it and it's probably good to kind of Again, catch your breath and get your heart rate down a little bit because easy runs, especially the long runs, are supposed to be feeling good and easy and sometimes they just don't. So you gotta get there somehow. Serenity: Yeah. And so speaking of I mean, do you have an internal dialogue? Like is there a sentence in your head that with the internal The Chaotic Runner: gosh. There's like I feel like there's like a million and one conversations with multiple voices going on in my head. but truly not. but yeah, I do definitely have an internal dialogue where Serenity: Because how do you deal with yours? Because you do very brave things. So how do you like what's your method? The Chaotic Runner: I definitely Well, I definitely have like Ooh, being put on the spot here. Well played. Serenity: Wow. The Chaotic Runner: this is a first. so yeah, I definitely do have an internal dialogue where I I get the why am I doing this? Why am I here? I'm not going to be breaking records. And there's this little part of me where It's like remember how good you feel after this is done. Remember how good you will feel after this is all done. If you don't get out there and do this, then you never will. And so it's that kind of that the good angel and the bad angel, I guess you could say. There's one side where it's like this imposter syndrome, like, why am I here? And then there's the other part of me that's reassuring me that no, you're you're here because you want to be here. And if you don't show up, it's easy to fall out of that habit and not. Ever show up. And yes, it's going to be hard, but you're not going to improve on things unless it's hard. If that makes any sense. Serenity: That does make sense. So is there with that in mind, is there anything that you haven't been able to get, like anything that you want to do but haven't been able to get to that point? You know? The Chaotic Runner: Well yes, absolutely. I I I know you have tried talking me into triathlons recently. And Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: the thing that is kind of stopping me is that I am petrified of open water. If I can't see the bottom and if I know there's fish in there, I can't do it. Serenity: I mean that is fair. That is fair. The Chaotic Runner: I there's there's just something that freaks me out. I I it's not that I'm worried I'm gonna get swallowed whole by jaws or anything like that, but it's it's just even the thought of a fish bumping into my leg it just freaks me right out. And I have gone snorkeling with my family when we went on vacation a while back. Like this is going way, way back. I think I was like twelve or thirteen and I I had to be pulled out of the water because I had a full-blown panic attack being in the water snorkeling. And Serenity: Even with like the tropical fish, The Chaotic Runner: yeah, like there was somebody had it was my brother. My brother had said that there were sea urchins below us. because the instructor kind of mumbled out well, not mumbled out, but he said that there be careful there are sea urchins at the bottom, and we're going past a bunch of shipwrecks and there was a bunch of people around and I was I was being carried around by the waves and I was bumping into the shipwreck and I was getting worried I was going to hit the sea urchins and I had to be pulled out of the water because I just I was just going under and was not coming back up fast enough 'cause I was panicking. Serenity: Well, you're in luck because they have duathlons so you can just run and bike. No swimming. The Chaotic Runner: there we go. Well there we go. There's an option. But yeah, I think that's the biggest thing that's kind of stopping me. And it used to be that I always thought that I'd never run a half marathon. because when I was a kid, I I remember telling my dad when I first started running with him that I would like to run a marathon by the time I'm thirty. And yeah, by the time I'm thirty. And as the years kinda tick by, I'm it I kinda sunk into my head and I was resolved to the fact that, you know what, I'm never gonna run a marathon by the time I'm thirty. And I ran my first half marathon the weekend before I turned twenty nine. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: And I never thought in a million years I would do that. And it was actually the running group that kind of got me out of my head. And we're like, well, why not? And the owner of the store that runs the whole group, she gave me a training plan and she's like, This is what you need to do, and was very encouraging. And she's like, Any questions? And I I ask a lot of questions with stuff like that. Like I I want things down to an exact science so I know what I can do to help myself. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: And I will continue to keep asking questions, which can be really annoying for people sometimes. Serenity: No, it's good though. The Chaotic Runner: but I just I just like to know these things and I don't want to miss a step and wonder why, hey, why am I hurting or hey, why is this not working out for me? And I found the hardest thing with training for the half marathon was training my gut. To accept goose and gels and Serenity: yeah, no. The Chaotic Runner: and all that nutrition stuff while running because it was so new to me. Like I had never run with electrolytes in a water bottle or w eating Serenity: Mm. The Chaotic Runner: eating an exact bar on my run or even worrying about protein after my run. Like it was just something that I had never thought about like I had run races before and it's just something that was never done because that's not what I grew up in. My dad, he would run five Ks and he would just go and just maybe have water and that would be it. But yeah. Serenity: So you might need to pass on your knowledge of training your gut to me because that is like one of The Chaotic Runner: It's a process. Serenity: my biggest struggles. So The Chaotic Runner: It is a process. And I know a friend of ours and I, we have got on to bricks, which is just pure maple syrup. Serenity: Ooh, that sounds delicious. The Chaotic Runner: It's is really, really it is really, really tasty. And there's one that I really enjoy and it has ginger in it. Serenity: Mm, The Chaotic Runner: And Serenity: the assignment. The Chaotic Runner: And it tastes like butterscotch. Serenity: Yeah, I definitely The Chaotic Runner: So if Serenity: definitely gonna have to try those ones out, see how they The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: So how old were you when you did run a marathon? The Chaotic Runner: I wasn't I was thirty, yeah. Serenity: See? So you didn't think it was true. Well, I mean I said I guess you said The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. And Serenity: before you turned thirty? The Chaotic Runner: Well, by the time I turn thirty. Serenity: So I mean, whatever, you're a little bit just call it like daylight savings, you know, a little bit late. The Chaotic Runner: I was a little bit late. Yeah, yeah. I was a little bit late to the party, but you know what? it was it was good because it was an impromptu thing, and I had done training with one of our friends, and unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to the marathon that she was doing just for financial reasons and timing-wise, and trying to get a bib from people was my god, so It was so tedious and people were jacking up the price on transferring their bibs over and it was just it just put a bitter taste in my mouth. So it it was just unfortunate. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: I just I couldn't go. I couldn't even go to support her because I couldn't find a ride. I couldn't anyways, there was a lot of couldn't, but there I could have. Anyway, it is what it is. so I'm like, you know what, I've done the training. So I'm still gonna show my support that I'm kind of there, but I'm not there and I'm going to run my own marathon. And everybody kind of, well, I shouldn't say everybody, everybody was kind of there was a lot of people off doing their own races that weekend. Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: And a few people that got the message, like I sent out a message in our group chat, like, hey, this is what's going on, this is what I'm doing. Anybody's welcome to join me if they would like. And Sure enough, people some people did. Some people met up with me at the den. And they there was a few people that ran part of the way with me and were only doing like 15k. And then they went back after a certain point. And then some people met up with me to run the rest of the way, especially on this really sketchy part on a trail right behind Rockford. Serenity: Yeah. 'Cause yeah. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, I don't like running past there or by there by myself just just because you never know. I I'm very much a safety in numbers kind of person. Cause I don't know if I'll be fast enough to outrun something that's chasing me on my own. Serenity: Yeah, no, I get that. The Chaotic Runner: so thankfully I had somebody with me for a good portion of the way on that section and then I went to another town. before going along the base shore to head back. And and there was there was a lot of people that near the end looped around. Like one person went back and got their bike and they bike the rest of the way with me. And one person who wasn't able to run because they were injured, they called me and they're like, hey, do you need anything? Do you want something from Tim Hortons? I'm nope, I can't stomach that right now. She she's like, No, it's that's okay, I'll get you a power aid and so she got power aid and which was great because I was all out of water and no, it was it was a great experience and next year is going to be my first marathon in an actual race environment, which is going to be intimidating but awesome and I'm looking forward to it. And something that in the beginning I never thought I could do. Because I had I had I had put myself in such a safe zone where I didn't push myself past that five K and I just kept showing up every day and pushing myself a little bit more and on the days that felt hard I still showed up and just kinda learned to ease back on myself a little bit. Which Serenity: So I think that is like, you know, the the meaning of like limitless. And by the way, do you know how like so much easier it's gonna be in like the actual like race marathon setting than like when you have then like cause you did the hard way first. And you hadn't you had a lot of support, The Chaotic Runner: Yes, I absolutely did. Serenity: but like you could have quit any time. The Chaotic Runner: yeah, and there was a few times I was like Serenity: So but you were the only one who had to like keep going. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, there was so many times where I was like, I could stop here and call for a ride, but I didn't. 'Cause I knew I would have been disappointed in myself if I didn't finish. And that's just how I am as a competitive person, like I I don't like doing things half assed when I know that I can do it the full way. And It's just reassuring myself that yes, it's going to be hard to get to the finish line. It's going to be damn hard, but you're going to do it and Yeah, and and it was definitely hard because yeah, there's no crowd around you. There's no aid station. Like people acted as my aid station. Like like I said, near the end, one person Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: brought Power Aid for and offered me Tim bits, and I'm just like, I can't stomach anything solid right now. But I I just remember my my text these text messages I kept getting from my mom before I had set out because I told my parents, like, this is what I'm doing. And my mom was really freaking out and she's like, Can you just wait until an actual marathon and I'm like, no, I've I've said I'm doing it today and I'm going to do it today and it's it's going to be fine. Come hell or high water. I'm going to finish it no matter how long it takes. And it did take a good chunk of time, like four hours, but Serenity: but that you were like amazing though. Like four hours is nothing. That's amazing. The Chaotic Runner: It was it was a really cool experience and I was really happy that people showed up to kind of help me out because yeah, it was really, really hard because again, you don't have that crowd around you. You don't get that same adrenaline boost. Like it's still an adrenaline boost, but it's not the same as when you you have strangers kind of patting you on the back and cheering you on. But Serenity: Yeah, well and I mean, you could literally quit any time. Like The Chaotic Runner: yeah, exactly. And and people know where you are. That was the thing. Like if I had quit, nobody would have known where I was. And I was just thankful that my stomach was also behaving too. Like I was so careful for that entire week leading up to it on what I ate. I ate pretty bland food that entire week 'cause I was so scared that I was going to poop myself. Or puke. Whichever comes first. Serenity: You know, you can only you can only poop yourself so many times in your life and I feel like you're getting pretty close to your quota. The Chaotic Runner: I have to be at this point because Jesus Christ. Serenity: If you already surpass surpassed the like something obviously that you didn't think that you'd be able to do, what's the next thing on your limitless goal list? The Chaotic Runner: What would be the n okay. So I'll answer it and then I'm gonna throw that question back at you. Serenity: Okay. The Chaotic Runner: I would like to do a marathon in each province. Serenity: Ooh, like it. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. I would like to experience every province of Canada and do a marathon in each province. and spend a whole year doing that. Serenity: the Northwest Territory is a province. The Chaotic Runner: Yes. I think that would be more of a trail run though. Serenity: Yeah. Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: I don't know how none of it or the Yukon would go. I wouldn't want to run those places in the winter. Although when my brother was up north, and he was None of it for a while, he he was saying about how people would still run up there. And I'm like, that's crazy. Meanwhile, we run in snowstorms, ice storms, and tornado warnings. Serenity: And people think it's crazy. The Chaotic Runner: Yeah, yeah. People are gonna say you're crazy no matter what you do. Like if Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: you're not sitting on your butt on your couch at home eating snacks, if you're not doing that, then you're crazy. So if that's if that's what the definition of crazy is, then sure, I'll take it. I am about as crazy as they come lifting weights, doing triathlon training. with you guys, even though I haven't done a triathlon race training. Only my time. Serenity: It's only a matter of time. Do Athle on though. The Chaotic Runner: You guys will work work on that. You'll whittle me down. Serenity: I don't know, that might like fears I mean if you were just afraid of the water or swimming, you deal with that. But I mean, there's fish. And I don't know if it's The Chaotic Runner: There is fish. Serenity: better if you can see them or can't see them. The Chaotic Runner: Well, I think if I can see them and they're really far down at the bottom, then sure, I can accept that. It's if Serenity: All right, so we'll start at Williams Lake. Excellent. The Chaotic Runner: Alright, noted Williams Lake. but yeah, I think my limitless goal would be definitely running a race in every province. Maybe I would like to do the triathlon here in town, maybe the half triathlon. I don't know if I'd wanna do the full for my first one, just because I don't know what to expect. Serenity: yeah. Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: And I'm not the fastest swimmer on the planet and don't have a wetsuit, so that that's something I can work on. Serenity: Well, you know, I didn't wear a wetsuit this year, the water was gorgeous. The Chaotic Runner: Was it? It was a hot Serenity: Yeah. The Chaotic Runner: day for you guys for that. Serenity: It was so hot. The Chaotic Runner: Like it's definitely nice to be in the water, but I don't know, why don't they have the swimming portion at the end is what I don't understand. Serenity: I I don't know why, but I'm just gonna assume that it's for drowning purposes. I feel like there's if you look at the number of fatalities in triathlons, the majority of The Chaotic Runner: duh. Serenity: them are drownings. So The Chaotic Runner: God. Serenity: I feel like if it was at the end, the drownings would be significantly higher. The Chaotic Runner: Yes, nope, that is true because you are exhausted. That is true. That's a good point. But it would be refreshing. It would be Serenity: But that's just my guess. The Chaotic Runner: it would be so refreshing at the end because then things aren't chafing. You aren't you aren't putting your wet feet into shoes. I I don't know. But yeah, no, that makes sense with the drowning aspect of it. I didn't consider that. Serenity: Yeah, that's just my guess. I mean The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. That was that was that's a good guess. That is a good guess. so what about you? What would be your limitless goal? Serenity: I mean define limitless like things that you could think you could do like I mean there's like I have next year goals like I want to do like a half iron man maybe I wanna run like a fifty miler but beyond that someday in my life I think I'd wanna do a whole Iron Man. The Chaotic Runner: Okay. Serenity: And I also wanna get Some day in my life a marathon under four hours. But I also like The Chaotic Runner: Yeah. Serenity: think it'd be possibly a super The Chaotic Runner: That would be a tough one. Serenity: great time to do a hundred miler. The Chaotic Runner: yeah. Serenity: So I mean, there's I have a lot of things on my bucket list that are not in reach at the moment. You know, they're not but Feel like some time in the future. Yeah. And I mean I know you give me a lot of inspiration. Well, I think you're very brave. And if you can be brave and do hard things, so can I. That's what she said. I think Well, I think comes back to like what you said in the beginning. It's finding your people. Because like there's people who can inspire you, can build you up, and like can support you and cheer you on, but they also don't but they're also people who don't feel like you need to meet some certain like expectation or standard. But also they're like, Fuck yeah, go for it. You can do it. So I think yeah, I think you do n need those people that are gonna like kinda fill your fill your bucket when your bucket Is draining. Yeah. Right? You don't wreak havoc on the world. Yeah, and like if you're not believing, you know, deal having people around you who some days they they'll believe in you enough for the both of you. Yeah. Yeah. And makes you feel more confident and things like are more achievable. Yes. Yeah. you're so wise. And you're only thirty? Man. Thirty one. All right, that makes a difference. Thank you for having me on your very special guest. You know, I think I You know, my brain it'll listen to like one particular song or artist or mus like playlist for a time and then I'll switch. Right now, it's Lana Del Rey. And there's one specific song and it's something Cinnamon Girl. It's don't I mean it's doesn't really seem like a pump up song, but I don't know about just something about it just Yeah. But it could be different next week, so who's to say? Yeah. I'm gonna have to check that out. I don't Perfect. I'm gonna yeah. Maybe it'll be a good one to add. Bye. The Chaotic Runner: If you like what you're hearing and want to be part of the chaotic runner community, you can now subscribe to a weekly newsletter at the chaoticrunner.substack.com/slash subscribe, where you will get bonuses from each episode that come with tips, tricks, recipes, sent right to your inbox. You can also comment and be part of the community and help inspire others. You can also send an email directly to me at the chaoticrunner podcast at gmail.com where you can send your stories from the good, the bad, to the very, very cringy, to the absolute downright hilarious. Because again, you never know who you're going to inspire with your stories. And you never know if they may be on the next podcast episode. Bailey Baldassari: I just want to start by giving a big thank you to everybody who tuned in to today's episode of the Chaotic Runner Podcast. Now, while we like to give our opinions, we are not a substitute for professional medical advice. If you wish to start a new healthy active regime, please make sure that you are contacting your doctor or physician. And with that being said, be kind yourself, be kind to each other, and we will catch you guys on the next one. Take care, y'all.