Mark: Ladies and gentlemen, mums and dads, children of appropriate ages, welcome to the Papa Family Court Voice podcast. Our special guest and speaker this week is the viral sensation, Emily Cutter. Emily: you Mark: Emily, welcome to the podcast. Emily: Hello, nice to meet you. Mark: Lovely to meet you too. Thanks for joining us today. As always, we'll be having our three main topics. Our three main topics will be what do you do to raise awareness? So we'd like to find out a little bit more about what you do. We'd like to talk about your social media. So your TikTok is where I initially found you, your Instagram, Facebook and so on. So I'd to find out more about what your drivers are, the reasons behind it, because obviously it's become quite an integral part of the shared parenting community. second topic will around the family court, with it being the Family Court Voice podcast. So I'd like to find out your thoughts around the family court. Again, you talk about it either in the first person perspective or you talk about your experiences from a third person perspective. It's completely up to you how you want to address it. And the third topic around mental health issues. Emily: you Mark: as always, we will end on what I call the three by three, which is three questions with three answers. OK, Emily, the floor is yours. What do you want to talk about? Emily: Sharing. Anyone who's not sharing, you need to share. You're not damaging your ex, you are damaging your child and I think a lot of people completely miss that. Whether you are a man or a woman, there's point scoring. Mark: what are your main drivers? You've obviously started to build ⁓ huge viral following social media. what are your main drivers? You've obviously started to build ⁓ huge viral following social media. What was the idea and the inspiration behind doing that? Emily: The first video I did that was about the mums is because I see where I live lots of the mum, you know, I did this and I claimed this and, we went to court and then, you know, he had to pay and stuff. So I understand that this does work both ways. I've learned from comments ⁓ that it work both ways, you know, and the dads can do this too. ⁓ But I'm disappointed to see parents ⁓ either side whether it's the mum or the dad doing this to children then I made my first video and it went viral and I thought ⁓ you know that resonates with a lot of people ⁓ if one just one person out of that million watched that video and ⁓ with tit tat and you know just their up and went like I'm not doing this anymore If you're going to be 10 minutes late, you're going to be 10 minutes late. If you can't pay the maintenance, you can't pay the maintenance. I know it's wrong. I get that. But, you know, as a mum, if you don't have a dad that pays the maintenance, step up, what you can. Be mum and dad. You can't... You can't create this around your child. It's like a And in the middle of that storm is a child that, do know what? You're running through court. You're both for tat. You're both arguing through court. Neither... parent is thinking about the child, is point scoring. Mark: what was your first platform that you launched on? Was it the TikTok, Instagram or Facebook platform? Emily: I was Instagram a before I was on TikTok and then I joined TikTok ⁓ and just kind of got fed up with seeing, so I in with the baby mums and I, cause I feel like, and this is to offend some people, but shut the fuck up. dads and mums are so differently it really does offend me to see ⁓ that. It's one thing is like, okay, for the mums. When I posted this on TikTok, lot of the dads resonated with this. A of the mums, ⁓ you they had different opinions and they, ⁓ they to say something else. But actually these parents are, if just like, please just stop and realize that your child is stuck in the middle of this. So yeah. So I to TikTok. I this on TikTok, a lot of the dads resonated with this. A lot of mums, ⁓ they had different opinions you stop, like, please just stop and realize that your child is stuck in the of this. That's where it went viral first initially. And then not long ago, I thought, do you know what? I'm still hearing this same stuff. I'm still hearing that this, you know, you can go to court, you can claim the DV, like you can claim whatever you want to claim and then you'll get legal aid. And people are saying there's no legal aid. And it's like, this must resonate with people because of how it went viral. And then when I posted the second one, Mark: Mm-hmm. Emily: then you'll get legal aid. that again resonates with people and it went viral. The court system's not fair. It is not fair at all. And what you mums think and you want to fall out with me and you want to have something bad to say to me, we ⁓ We got the upper hand. As mums, we've got the upper hand. As mums, we can drag someone through the mill if we want to. ⁓ And it's made normalized and I see it all around. And that's what my... ⁓ We have got the upper hand. As mums, we've got the upper hand. As mums, we can drag someone through mill if we want to. kind of like inspiration to post that was. If one person can see this and it makes them think twice and the child will grow up to believe that both parents are friends, let your children believe that. Can you imagine going home to your child and saying, got caught today? what is that? That's not normal. That's not all right. That's... ⁓ I don't think it's... ⁓ Mark: Mm-hmm. So you mentioned those first two videos. Can you tell me about the first one, then the second one that really blew up? Emily: Yeah, so the first one was the shut the fuck up baby mums, pick up, drop off, bye bye. Like you don't need no more than that as a baby mum. You don't need to lock the door if he's there at 10 past four and he should have been there at four o'clock. That's not about the child then. That's about the baby mum. That's about control and it's about, and yeah, you know what? He's gonna turn up late. He's gonna do it. He's gonna turn up 10 minutes late because he knows he's gonna get a bite. He knows he's going to get a reaction, but the thing is it's played into by both sides. so what I wanted... The of children... Sorry, I've been told off for saying baby mums, but here we are. The mums children, I want the mums to look at this and go, you know, or look at my reel and kind of a step back and look from like a third person in and think, you know, would you really be proud of yourself if you could see yourself behaving in this way? ⁓ ⁓ and he doesn't pay maintenance. I get that. I'm totally with you. It's an absolute mistake. I totally agree. He should pay maintenance. It takes two to tango. He made the child, you made the child. if not going to pay, you're not God. Don't stop him from seeing that child. That child is going to grow up and realize who paid for what and who did what. There's no need for us as parents to be telling children. all of this stuff or to be saying to children you can't see your dad today because he hasn't paid. That is disgraceful. As a mum, as a woman, I find that disgraceful. Step up, work harder and don't tell me you haven't got time because you know what, like I manage it. just, ⁓ I understand this is the other way around. I'm not getting at the mums. ⁓ also understand there are dads out there that do do this as well. But you know, you just, you're just going to have to, what's the saying? Like it or lump it. Step up, work harder and don't tell me you haven't got time because you know what, like I manage it. Mark: Yeah, it's a percentage difference, isn't it? It does happen on both sides, but it's pretty clear from the statistics that it's what an 80-20 split at least, where it's men on the receiving end. problem that we've got in the ⁓ community is that all of the narrative is very much geared to females. ⁓ if we say something about how we feel, then get called misogynistic pigs, we get called abusive Emily: And yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mark: males we get called abusers and domestic violence people. So why I think when you have a female that comes on board and is speaking for the male, it's like, yay. You know, it's almost like we have a bit of a hero who's saying what we want to say. ⁓ we can't necessarily say that because we'd get destroyed by, you know, the radical feminists and Emily: ⁓ thank you. Mark: people like that. So ⁓ behalf of all the men watching who appreciate your videos, thank you very much. And I know the shut the fuck up video because it comes up on my feed on a regular basis. So I do that one very well. ⁓ So I've got another question. Another question is, so the very question now, show me the hands. Emily: Well, thank you. Mark: important question now, show me hands. Emily: They are mine. These hands are mine. Listen, I've put cream on them today, but let me tell you, internet, these hands are mine. they are wrinkly. And I'm an old soul, and I'm an old soul, and that's why you've got to your kids, because I'm telling you, I must have lived 100 years ago and kept holding my hands. They mine. ⁓ They are. No one believed me. ⁓ I've them painted now, so people are going to be like, Mark: Both sides, both sides. so they're Emily: and I have moisturizer on them now. And so maybe they do look a bit better, but they are my hands. Like, I don't know why everyone loves them. Mark: Because you did the video right where it was like you put the hand right close to the video and it's like this is a joke isn't it that's not a hand it a wind-up? Emily: You know, do you want to know the secret? I'll tell you the secret. So, I knew that people would have something to say about my hands, and yes, I post for attention because I'm an attention seeker and I love attention. So, I was like, do you know what? These hands of mine, they're going have to do some good somewhere. They're going to have to... do you want to know the secret? I'll tell you the secret. Mark: Go on. Go on. Emily: They're going have to work for themselves if they look like that, you know. So, I made a video, but the secret, I held my elbow, and so it looked like it was a different angle. And... Yeah. Mark: ⁓ huh. It looked like a fake hand, didn't it? Or someone was hiding under the camera with a hand. It was like, ⁓ Emily: Yeah, I... washed my purposely before I made the video with washing up liquid, and I that makes... Of course. ⁓ I want I'm here for attention. ⁓ Mark: to make them extra wrinkly. ⁓ fantastic. going back to your videos, tell me about the second video. Emily: The second video is just like, you know what? am a woman and I know ⁓ potentially if I wanted to, I could take all my children from their baby dads. And I say dads because I three different baby dads, ⁓ and everyone that, but I think, do know what? It's... You have control a mom. The court system is sided with the mum. mum can do whatever she would like to do. And you know, and I see the reason I made the second video was because I had a message from a guy. I try and look at my messages. There are obviously of them when it comes to the family court and the mum and the dads and, you know, things like that. And I had this and it was like, you know, I really want to repost your video. ⁓ but I can't. And I was like, why can't you repost it? press repost. As a woman, I would repost whatever I want to post because I'm a woman and I'm allowed to and that's okay in the eyes of the court. And reply that I got was, ⁓ I do that because that'll be used against me in court, it'll be screenshot. But yet these mums, have a page dedicated to bad baby dads and... ⁓ Mark: Mm-hmm. Emily: bad, you know, he was 10 minutes late, he didn't pay. Like, do you really care if he didn't pay your money? Yes, I know it's nice and yes, I get that you should pay, but do you really care? Or do you want your child to grow up into a world where it's allowed to make its own decision up on which parent did what? What's the point in wasting your life trying to point score and stuff? And I find it really bad that As a mum, I can do whatever I want to do. And as a mum, I can go and play games. I can get off this call right now and I can go, do you know what? They're not seeing their dads. I'm going to take them away. And that's fine because I'm the mum and it's in the eyes of the court and the dad can take me to court, but he's not going to get anywhere. And I know he's not going to get anywhere because you know what? When I get to court, I'm going to say, or the dads, sorry, three of them. When we get to court, I'm going to say, well, it's domestic violence. Mark: Mm-hmm. Emily: we get to court, I'm going to say, well, it's domestic violence. and the court's going to go, okay, because I'm the mum. and the court's going to go, okay, because I'm the mum. But in reality, we have mums that bully dads. Yes, we do. Mark: So that kind of leads on to my next question you've almost answered it there ⁓ why you think that the female population or the mums mainly, larger of treat the dads the that they do? What's the reasons behind it? Emily: You know, we have this thing where men like the oldie-worldie, the men are so strong, they go out to work, they do this, they have to do that, and the mum stays at home with the kids. Us women, want our own kind of lane, you know? We want that, we go that, we ask for that. But when it comes to this kind of thing, it's still... ⁓ ⁓ you know, I'm a wilting flower and he's a big bad man. And it's like, no, not you can't. You can't want one thing. You can't want all women like be feminists to stick up for women and all this stuff. ⁓ then on the other hand, expect the courts to side with you. You can't do you can't have the best of both worlds. And like when you're younger and your mum goes, you can have chocolate or sweets. You can stand there and stamp your feet and have chocolate and sweets because you've been told you have one or the other. Mark: Mm-hmm. Emily: And I feel that like, because we are women, we want this independence, we want, you know, all these feminists, like, come for me, feminists, because I'm not sorry. of them want this same thing where women are so powerful. And I think, to be honest with you, that's the only one thing that women can use against men. And know got the upper hand. Of course we know we've got the upper hand. ⁓ Every single that breaks up with their partner... knows they've got the upper hand and I'm not saying it's all of us and I'm not saying we're all bad I'm a girl's girl, you know, I love women and I think it's great that we're trying to like step into our own power and stuff like that but you can't expect to step into your own power and then moan because he didn't give you maintenance. ⁓ wanted to work harder, you wanted to step into that power so step up, step into it and it's just I don't with the the we you know as women we do this we create this and then we cry wolf because it's not suiting and of the time this is a point scoring it's a point scoring exercise because all of a sudden there's a breakup the children aren't the most important thing if the children the most important thing ⁓ there would not so many parents going through court Mark: I agree with that for sure. My personal perspective is I that it's when the man generally decides to leave ⁓ a or an abusive relationship. For me, it's a way of the mother trying to that level of control over the other person. That's my perspective things. Emily: I totally agree with that because I see is, know, any excuse, there's any excuse in the world, he was 10 minutes late, he didn't pay his maintenance, he ⁓ didn't do he didn't do that. But I think what us mums are forgetting is these dads of our they are people. They lives too. Whether like to admit that or not, they have lives. They have... you know, work to go to and stuff like that. And I think the guy to leave, I think you're absolutely right. The mum knows she can jump and say, he did this or ⁓ he did that. But ⁓ why are speaking like that now? Because when you was together for the last, I don't know, 10, 20 years, whatever it is, he was this guy. And then all of a sudden he's not happy and he wants to leave. And it's like, you know, the only weapon mums have if the guy decides to leave, The mum knows she can say, he this or he did that. is the children and they use the children as the weapon and it happens all the time come for me if you want I'm not sorry I don't care I'm right you're wrong it needs to be said that women have got the upper hand and they will do whatever it takes ⁓ love to have ⁓ love to have control I'm a woman I love being in control ⁓ love it when I'll get a text saying you I'm dropping your home at ⁓ four And I think, want to reply going, actually half four is better for me. And I don't. And I go, yeah, okay, four o'clock is fine. But only because I want my child to grow up and realize that both parents are really important and that doesn't, you know, half an hour here or there or whatever. And yeah, it's it's it's not a fair system. The system does need to be changed. When ⁓ parents break up each no matter who decides on the breakup. whether the mum leaves or the dad leaves, the court of law should a situation where, right, you've broke up, the mum's going to court, the dad's going to court, but it's unless proved otherwise. You have to prove with a strong case, not just phone call to the police to say, ⁓ he was nasty to me, because the police, we know, they side with The police will side with women in the domestic with the children and all stuff like that. We know that. So then the police are going to sign off a report that says he's nasty to her and immediately the courts believe that. If you're breaking up with your partner, I don't care what that partner has done to you either. Like I honestly do not care what that partner did to you. It's not you. It's about the So if that partner's always been a great dad, but he was horrible to you because he called you a C next Tuesday the other day, that's not the problem of the child. That's not what going to court's for. Mark: let's expand on that because obviously our second topic is around the family court and you've referenced it quite a bit already. What's experience with family court either with the parent your or ⁓ people that you or just things in general? Can you talk around that? Emily: three children with three different dads, what you want. I need to go through court with any of them. They are all three very different people. ⁓ They all three parenting in their own way. They are... Absolutely not. would I waste my time? ⁓ Why would waste my time to go to court to what? What for? ⁓ Ultimately money. Mark: so you never went to family court yourself. Emily: because that's what most of us mums... Money and control. That's what most of us mums are going to court for. If we are honest, if we take a step back and we look in from the outside, most parents are going because he said something nasty to mum or, know, it's not... The children at the center of this and I really do feel unless you have a valid good reason... There is no reason for any parent to go to court. Mark: think you hit the nail on the head there really and think money is not necessarily the main driver. think it's the second thing that you said control and to cause harm. know, revenge is thing that noticed is the main driver and the money just comes with it, unfortunately. And it's normally the parents the other ⁓ side, usually the dad that to suffer. Emily: Absolutely. Yeah. Mark: And then by proxy, it's the children that suffer because they aren't able to have a meaningful relationship with their fathers for the most part. it's interesting that you haven't done at all, but you mentioned while we're off camera, you said that you've got some friends that have been through it. Are you able to talk around that at all? Emily: Yeah, so in my life in the small town that I live in, one friend does it, it's a domino effect, they all copy the others, you know, I got full control and I got this much maintenance and has to do what he's told basically and I don't agree with that because as a mum you can... I've conversations with friends where I've voiced my opinion on how bad I think this situation is ⁓ And then that particular friend a few years later turns around and goes, I'm breaking up with the father of my child. now we're going to go to court. And you ⁓ can't create world where okay to do these things when you know that they're wrong anyway. And I see too much Mark: Mm-hmm. Emily: ⁓ well, he's broken up with me and I don't want him to break up with me. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to drag him through the courts. I wouldn't waste my time going through court. You don't need to waste your time. Tell him to pick up on a Tuesday. If he can't do the Tuesday and he can only do the Wednesday, let him do the Wednesday. thing that really gets on my wick is when ⁓ mum kicks a dad out and that's okay, even though he pays the mortgage. And then a problem through the courts because... ⁓ there, the is like co-sleeping with the children and then that's taken back to the court. ⁓ you can't co-sleep with your children. You this child's ⁓ a but you can't go to sleep with them because you're the dad. And it's like, well, no, actually as a mum, you co-sleep. As a mum, you don't have routine. ⁓ As mum, you do all these things and that's okay. But why is it not okay for the treatment for the dad? ⁓ And I see... ⁓ Mark: there's definitely a difference in gender, I think, around this whole... Emily: Yeah, 100 % and I totally agree with you. And as a woman, it makes me sad that so many women are doing this and like they got their blinkers on. They... There's a they don't like the breakup ⁓ or, you it's just revenge, whatever, and the blinkers are on. And there's two here and most of the you know, the dad might go, yeah, okay, whatever. I might be late or, you know, pick up, whatever. ⁓ or I can't pay maintenance, you know, if he's telling you he can't pay maintenance, he's playing back to the games you play because the only thing that that man has got in his power is not giving the mum money. And when the mum drags him through court and makes him sound bad on paper because we can't go 50-50 from the get-go, there's... I just don't understand what happened and where it made it right for women to be able to have such a strong hold. and then they moan about, oh, well, you didn't give me maintenance. I wouldn't fucking give you maintenance if you were playing with my kid's life. Like, wake up. Mark: You've got to remember as well, got to remember that a lot of the time, fathers, parents the receiving end have been completely drained of any resource ⁓ and that they've got, just trying to defend themselves against false allegations, trying to defend themselves in family court, trying to gain access to their children where they've been denied. So there's nothing give. if anything, some of us are just trying to survive and doggy paddle and keep our heads above water ourselves this in this whole scenario. So also. Yeah, ⁓ it very tough, but again, I don't think it's something that is acknowledged or people see. ⁓ Emily: I totally agree with that. No, and you know what? I've had messages, and lots of the messages that I do receive are about, know, I'm a dad and I've been fighting for five years, and paid this much money to the courts, and I want to see my child. No father that has messaged me to say thank you for voicing your opinion, or thank you for of sticking up for this side because it is an unfair system. No has said to me like, you know, well, like, it's about mum. these guys, it is about contact with the children, it is about building a relationship with the children, whereas I do feel for mums it is a different... You're a mum, you've got that relationship. You didn't go out to work nine till five potentially. And I know there's mums that are gonna go, ⁓ well I work full time and so did he and I'm an angel and whatever. Listen, none of us are perfect. I'm not saying I'm perfect. And I'm not saying if you don't speak to my three baby dads, they're probably gonna be like, well, she's an absolute fucking nightmare. I am a nightmare, but I'm not gonna go wasting my time going through court, making my child feel like it has to choose potentially between mum or dad. It's just not gonna happen. And I think people, really need to, if you are watching this, stop it. now. Mark: Mm hmm. Yeah, like I say, I appreciate voice that you give to fathers out there. And I've many of your posts over the last year. So ⁓ not the one, but you know, the ones that those beautiful hands of yours. So the third that we like to on the podcast is around mental health. Emily: Thank you. these beautiful hands. Mark: what you talk about around mental health? Can you talk about your own experience? Can you talk about the child's or people that you know? Can you talk around that subject at all? Emily: How can you expect a parent to be a perfect parent when they have got nothing left to give, their money's been taken by the court, and are literally at the bottom ⁓ of end of what they can push to? How can expect ⁓ a dad then come back and do everything telling to do? This mental health business has been bought on by... the control and the unfairness of the court. The courts creating more mental health problems. ⁓ can you have a healthy parent if that parent is bullied ⁓ the time? ⁓ if that parent knows, because it's stepping on eggshells, how can you expect your dad of your child ⁓ and I get that it's the mum of the child either, but how can you expect that parent to be the best parent of their ability and look after your child to the best they can when they've such, I abuse coming in from the other side? You ⁓ just, you expect that. ⁓ And I it ⁓ is... ⁓ Mark: Mm-hmm. I think it's abuse. agree. I think it is abuse. Emily: I do, I didn't really want to say that word, but like, if we're being honest, I think can't... It's... know, you're dragged through so much as a parent. Being a parent is hard anyway. ⁓ Being parent is hard when you're a couple. Being a is hard when you break up. ⁓ Everything's hard. hard. Just shut the fuck up. Share. Share the children. Unless there is a valid reason which I believe should be proved through court, unless you have a valid reason. ⁓ to start that no contact. There are reasons, I understand that, but 90 % of the time there's not reasons for this. There's not reasons for making someone... And these mental health issues that are created through this unfair court system, they are never... They're never... never get over them. I don't know how you say it. You never... ⁓ Mark: never recover. No, I get it. It's an ongoing thing. And it's funny that you mentioned the 90 % because that's an actual stat. 90 % of allegations that are made are found as to be false. So it's a massive thing. But then the problem is in family court is that there's nothing, no one's held accountable for making these false allegations. Emily: No, no, you never recover. Yeah. Is it? Mark: And that is another problem that we have. ⁓ you say, it's a game ⁓ ⁓ alienating parent will make a false allegation because they know that there's a default setting where the false allegation will set off a series of decisions that restrict you from the child or restrict the targeted parent from the child and will months, years. ⁓ It's not it's years in reality. Emily: ⁓ I know. ⁓ Mark: of litigation processes. brings in court processes, ⁓ in finance brings in child application hearings, brings in non-monestation hearings, ⁓ brings CAFCAS officers, social services officers, mediation companies, contact centres, of the above. And to me, it's just ⁓ one huge ⁓ generation That's take on from what I've seen so far. Emily: Imagine being the alienated parent being under microscope from the social services being under the microscope from the schools and from And feel that they... can't be ⁓ the that you want to if you are chucked under this limelight of, you know, this is what's happening And you're completely right. It is all for money. I've seen dads pay thousands of pounds just to have the mum says because the mum says it's right, you know, and it's right and ⁓ you guys should down and do what you're told and in reality, like, no. get over yourselves, ladies. You've got to stop the shit, you know, you need to share, shut up, stop moaning. I think, yeah, you know, there is an element of jealousy, isn't there? You break with someone, they do well without you, or they're the one that went out and earned the money, and you you looked after the children, I think there's quite a level of resentment there from baby mums where do go to court. Mark: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Emily: And so I don't know, let's say the child grows to 10 and then they decide they don't want to be together. And then they go straight to court and it's like, there's a level of resentment of, he's got the mortgage, he's got the house, he's got this, he's got that. And I sacrificed my life to raise my children. Yeah, you sacrificed your life to raise your children. Dad there or not, you're a mum. You are expected to step up you should step up. regardless of what that man's doing or what that man has financially work wise, I mean, I'm not saying that every guy should have this same opportunity because I do understand there are some very awful things that go on in the world, but you can't expect someone to, know, there is a level of resentment. to from us women. Generally we stay at home, we look after the children and then maybe when the children get to school age, the dad is gonna break up with the mum the mum wants to break up with the dad, whichever way it is. But you know, I've seen it both ways. ⁓ seen the dad wants to break up with the mum and all a sudden, guess what? DV for the last however many years, get over yourself, you're lying. And then seen the mum break up with the dad. ⁓ And I've seen, guess what, DV for the last 10 years. No, babe, you're fucking lying again. All this lying shit because we know we've got the upper hand. And if I did ever you know, it would have to be something really bad, really bad that not just he went uptown Saturday night and he didn't pay me no maintenance ⁓ because is what I hear quite a lot. You know, people were replying my reel. saying well he didn't pay me any maintenance so why should I let him see the children or you know he's the one that works yeah okay forget about him it doesn't matter let him pick up and drop off when he wants to you step up as a woman step into your power as a woman show your children teach them that you know we don't rely what are we raising children that think it's all right to just live off a man Like, what are you doing? No, sorry. I'm just... This makes me annoyed. Mark: tell us a little bit more about what your plans are for social media. Are we going to see more hand videos? Are we going to see more parenting videos? ⁓ your plan on growth? Because you've grown quite quickly over the last, ⁓ is it, a year ⁓ you launched. ⁓ Emily: Yeah, I have. I have and surprisingly, because like, why do you all like me? Because I know I'm very out there and I know I say it how it is and you know, I'm a little bit, you know, sometimes I say things and my fishing rod out, but generally with the parent side of things, I do think that it's really important. And I feel that it's so important. Why I wanted to come on this podcast with you is because if anyone that follows me is watching this, And they're going through this situation with their, with a parent of a child, man or woman. And they watch me and they go, actually, she's got a point. I am being a bit of a dick and I'm not putting my child first. And you know, my child is seeing this kind of behavior. And what am I teaching that child for the future? Don't teach your children to live off men. Like, uh, but on the same hand, don't teach your children to live off. women or to make women feel shit, you know, and I know it comes from both sides, but like I said before, 90 % of women, it's all a game. It's all how much control and stuff like that. So my plan is, the reason I made one more recently is because I got a DM and I was just like, do you know what, I've had enough of this now, I've been quiet too long. Again, when I stay quiet, I feel that, you know, like my voice isn't going out there so much. And I do think If you are a follower of mine and you think, you know, she's funny or whatever, unhinged, who knows, whatever you think. if you're following me as from woman to woman, just stop the shit. And if it makes just one person think that, you know, actually what I'm doing isn't really appropriate. If he wants to play games and you're a mom, let him play games. If he wants to play games and you're a dad, and I mean in the way of like turning up 10 minutes late, texting, not all the court and stuff like that. you know, you have to kind of accommodate. You have to come to, okay, he does work till five o'clock. You know, like ⁓ let come at half five, six, maybe he's delayed. ⁓ There to be a little bit of leeway. And I be saying whatever I want to say. And if it builds up a million haters, ⁓ at least maybe one person put their child first and one person will realize that what they're doing is there's mum and dad up here and they're going at each other and the poor child's here in the middle and that child doesn't know whether it's coming or going and it is damaging to the children. So we're going to grow up now with a generation of children that know to trust. They don't know who to trust. They don't know who they're safe with. They don't know what they can say to another one because I guarantee if you're a baby mum you're taking your kids through...or your child's dad through court, you're feeding their head with shit as well because that's how it goes. So, yeah, I've got more to say. Mark: No, totally agree. No, I'm looking forward to it. So does that mean we can expect more ⁓ you coming up pretty soon? Emily: Yeah, I... You know, I base these videos on, it depends if I get a DM or it depends if I hear on the grapevine around the town I live in, yeah, well, you know, someone they did that to the father of their child, so now they're doing that to the father of their child. Or ⁓ maybe, an old friend that I used to speak to, for example, would be like, right, I'm going to do this now. ⁓ And if you're any friend of mine, you know my views on this and I'm very vocal on this. And I have friends that struggle parenting and because of their parenting, because of the shared arrangement access with the children. I have friends that struggle with that, ⁓ but one of my friends, unless they don't want me to speak to them again, ⁓ plays immature little game and it is an immature game. And I think we all need to realize that actually you can't see ⁓ there's black cloud. You can't see the child stuck in the middle of this. It's not until maybe 20 years down the line when your child says to you, because this is going to damage the child for the rest of its life. This is also going to damage whichever parent is on the receiving end of this for the rest of their life. So now what you've created is a parent that's got mental health issues to raise a child that needs, I don't know, extra help with growing up because they've been so damaged. And where's the safe place for these children if the parents are battling? Like, you know, so yeah, I've got a lot more to say. Mark: it's funny, isn't it? Because what found really interesting is that when girls get together, it's, you know, what do they talk about? Do they encourage each other? Do they say, ⁓ yeah, you know, I got this, so, you know, play this or I would... This is I think. I think it's more a case of I was advised by my solicitor or my barrister to say this because if I say this, I'll get this. And they'll sit and go, ⁓ that's a good idea. I could get that too. So it's interesting that you're sitting with your friends, female friends, and you're saying, hey, actually, I don't agree with that. So I'm really thankful for that. Emily: Well, I... You're welcome. ⁓ ⁓ see it like it's so black and white. It's share, up, don't do this. But, you know, seen people over the years, gone to the court ⁓ and they've got this, ⁓ and, you know, as woman, ⁓ are recommended, like just said, you are recommended to say, you know... And the solicitor will say this. Or, you know, if you do say this... you won't have to pay for any of it. It's recommended to us as women. You know, you... If you say this or if you say that, it's going to be for free. Or you could get a non-mole because of whatever this is or whatever that is, and it's like, do know what? You poked the bear. You poked the bear so hard that he ended up losing his temper because you're stopping him from having a relationship with this child. There is only so much that a man or a woman can take. before they crack. And I think that's really important to realize that they go and go and go and go and men do. are so... offense, but men are simple. They just... Yeah. So all you really want is contact with your child. Whereas like we're women, we calculate, we got all this stuff up our sleeve. We know how to find out the best way to one up ⁓ we know how to find out the best way to... so... offense, but are simple. Mark: We're simple creatures. Emily: make it look in the courts like, you know, I'm an angel, I never did anything wrong. then years, three years maybe down the line, the screenshots that the dad put in in the first place have now been presented to the court and three years of damage and no contact with that child, ⁓ the then goes, silly me, mum was the one in the wrong all the time. You can see the child now to the dad and it's like, you women ⁓ be ashamed themselves. for doing this to their children because they're damaging their own children. Off the back of what? Because you fancy your baby dad, like get over it. Mark: No, don't take offense to your comment about calling men simple because ⁓ a fact that men operate on a much more basic operating system and thought process than women. We're very simple creatures. ⁓ want peace. We want to work. We want to create and build things and want to come home and we just want to relax and have a bit of peace. That's kind Emily: Yeah, sorry, it's, you know what I mean. Yes. Mark: most of us, I can't speak for all of them because obviously everyone's different right, whereas I think that women have a much wider range of emotions, they have a much wider range of thought processes that's, I it's part of the problem, don't get me wrong I'm not a woman hater at all, know women my favourite thing on the planet, I've got three and I love them to bits but I also know that men and women are Emily: No, and I totally agree. Mark: biologically different creatures. And yes, I'm all up for equality. I think that men and women should have equal opportunities where it's relevant. But to say that we're the same and we should have the same rights across the board for everything is completely wrong because men are men and women are women. That's like saying, well, I want equality, so I think I should be allowed to have children as well. It's like, well, it just doesn't work like that. because it's not biologically possible, can't get pregnant because we're different. And I think that the problem at the moment that we've got in society is that the feminist voice or the radical feminist voice is poisoning ⁓ people, young women, young females And it's making think that we need men. ⁓ men important. Whereas having a strong father figure and a strong father role or a strong male lead in your life has proven psychologically that it is important. I think so anyway. Emily: I think it's really important that both parents should be involved in a child's life. I think unless you have a valid reason... And when I say valid reason, think of the worst thing you're thinking of. That's what I'm thinking of, right? I don't care... ⁓ don't care if he was horrible to you. I don't care if he dragged you out of the house by your hair. Did he do that to your children? ⁓ Mark: But so what you're referencing there, and I've been very careful not to say not to upset the algorithm. Sorry, it's baking where I am at the moment. So what you're getting at there, you're talking about domestic violence, child violence, even worse things, right? Emily: I know, I'm dripping with sweat. Yeah. Mark: If you actually do the research and we have, our teams have done the research and we've looked at the reports and we've gone into all the case studies and everything that's been referenced, what you'll find is that the percentage of actually happening is so small but problem ⁓ is that it's referenced and presented as a narrative that all men are abusers and all women are victims, whereas actually if you look at the percentage, what you'll find is that women are actually more abusive than men. But that story is never told. Emily: Until you are. hate to say, listen, I'm a woman, you're right. Because, and I'll tell you why, we are calculated. I remember having a conversation with someone once and saying, you be careful what you send in a text, because that text message you sent in 2010, we don't forget. We're going to bring that, you know, if we're going to court... We're going to bring that up. So, it's really sad that women... We can message anything we want. We're women. You guys put up with it. You know, that kind of thing. We can do whatever we want. We're women. It's fine. when it comes to kind of speaking to people around where I live who have been through this situation, friends of friends or, you know, things like that, my best, biggest part of advice is we're calculated. I know what you did in 2012 at three o'clock, because I'm a woman and I'm not going to forget that. And I'm then going to use that as ammo. And quite a lot of women these days, what they're doing is creating a log. There's a log created before there's even a problem. So as a woman, you know, you're going into, I don't know, marriage or having children with someone or whatever it is. But because of the feminists, and you're right, the extreme feminists and whatever they want to call themselves, like you have to go in ready war. have to... single message receive, screenshot that, keep that, make an album. ⁓ It's all taught us. Like, it's completely normal. ⁓ It's not normal. on with your own life. Enjoy your own life. Be grateful that you have children because what we also need to remember is like some people can't have children and there you are being a bitch with your kids. you're ungrateful. You're an ungrateful brat. Mark: ⁓ think men, all we to do is we want to be parents, we want to we want to ⁓ be in a we want to love our children and we just want peace. Like I said, we're very simple people, but it doesn't always out that way, unfortunately. So I like to end... every podcast with what I call the three by three. So it's three questions with three answers you can answer them quick file or you can answer them long form. I'll leave it completely up to you. So first ⁓ is what things are you grateful for? Emily: My kids and the life created social media as well, because it means I can be more present parent to my children. And I'm also grateful for the fact that I have a voice. I a and I feel like I can help people with the voice that I have. Helping you know, and I see memes that say... ⁓ You don't understand how many people are going to win when I win, that's not because I'm here to win anything, but if I can create a following where I can then say to people, you pull people on stuff that's not so nice, yeah, I'm grateful that. So, yeah, my children are my following, ⁓ and being present, yeah. Mark: your voice. ⁓ about your social media, where people find you? Emily: Oh, little plug for me. Thank you. I'm on Instagram, I'm on TikTok and I'm on Facebook, but you have to type it in properly. So Emily and we've got the dots. So we've got like E dot M dot I dot L dot Y talk. And we've got the same E dot M dot I dot blah, blah, blah, Graham, as in Emily Graham, Emily talk. And then there's Facebook, which I've been on for like 13 years and I didn't know it was going to blow up like it did and it has. And I'm so grateful because I hope I can save someone, children that's going through or even a parent that feels like they're not so alone or they're not, you know, they have got someone on their side because it's a subweb we live in. And I think sometimes we don't think about the repercussions of how we behave. Mark: Yeah, I don't think I've found you on Facebook yet, but you've definitely come across, come off on my TikTok feed and my Instagram feed. So I'll try and look you up on Facebook. ⁓ mean, to be honest, ⁓ haven't really been on social media for the last, apart this year, five years, I was pretty much off social media. So I'm of getting back into it now with the podcast and trying to raise in the similar way you are as well. My second question is, Emily: Thank you. Mark: What three words would you to describe the family courts? ⁓ Emily: unfair bias and an absolute disgrace. Really, it is an unfair bias towards women and an absolute disgrace. Because it's 2026, you know... Mark: So hang on, remind me again. ⁓ unfair, yeah. Bias. Emily: Some of us are taking this feminism, however you say it, a step too far. And we're raising children to believe that it's fine to push a dad out or... And know it's not all the time, but, you know, 90 % of the time, ⁓ we to stop raising the kids to believe that it's... This is okay. This is not okay. None of it is okay. ⁓ Mark: my third and final question is if were to give three bits of advice to mothers that are out there that are alienating their children or pushing their targeted parent into family court, ⁓ what those three bits of advice be? Emily: stop and I was, but I didn't want to keep swearing. I don't know how many times I swore because I've got a potty mouth anyway and I was trying to keep it like professional, but yeah, shut the fuck up. Basically, if I'm allowed to say it because I would tell every mum to kind of remove yourself from the situation and looking from an outsider's point of view. Mark: I thought you were gonna start with shut the fuck up. Emily: look into this situation as if you are not the person living it. if you view a situation from the outside looking in rather than keeping yourself in this big of fire that you've created, you're going to see that perhaps most of the things or some of the things that are being... ⁓ that showing your child and teaching your child are not right. And listen, I'm not the perfect parent. I raised mine on pot noodle and I'm not going to pretend I don't, but I'm saying fair's fair, share share, shut the fuck up. Mark: Emily, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today. Really appreciate you the time to do this. Really appreciate you being a voice for all the guys out there that struggling through this. I'm going send you some DMs because I want to see more videos. ⁓ Emily: I'm Yes, thank you so much. Give me as many videos as I need to make that would make the mums or parents, but mostly mums, stop and think. If you're following me and you're watching this and you're in this situation with your child's dad and you're running him through court unnecessarily and you're seeing even a tiny bit of sadness in your child's eyes, fucking stop it. Or unfollow me.