Faelyne: question have you ever been in a room where one sound just one completely took over your entire brain and you could not get it back no matter what you tried Stephanie: a shirt that felt completely fine until it turned into a burlap straight jacket by ten AM. Faelyne: Today, we're in the lab examining ADHD hypersensitivity, the science behind why your brain processes the world at full volume, and three protocols for surviving it. Stephanie: We're looking at all the hypers and not the superhero ones. Also, someone chews a hole in their shirt. Faelyne: It was necessary. Stephanie: It really was. Okay, let's go. Faelyne: Welcome to the ADHD Cringe Lab, the only place in the inter, intra, and outer net where your most embarrassing moments are considered valuable scientific data. Stephanie: Every week we take one cringy, chaotic, completely relatable ADHD moment and we put it under the microscope. Faelyne: We act it out, we break down the neuroscience behind it, and we give you actual tools to handle it better next time. Stephanie: Because understanding why your brain does what it does, that's powerful. Faelyne: It is. We are Stephanie and Faleen, two ADHD coaches who happen to be living specimens. Stephanie: Deep, deep in the data. Faelyne: I'm coming to you live from the Canadian Research Wing. Stephanie: And I'm joining from the US research wing. Faelyne: Two labs. Stephanie: One mission. Faelyne: Open borders, equal cringe. Stephanie: General idea of what time it is. Faelyne: And we haven't been stopped. And k and keeping watch over the lab as always. Stephanie: Our chief cringe officer, the ADHD spaghetti bearer. Faelyne: So put on your safety vest and your rubber boots. Go ahead and Stephanie: Ooh Faelyne: get your squishy plushies and your fidget spinners. Stephanie: And let's head to the lab. Faelyne: Let's do this. Now, just before we begin the experiment, we need to take a reading of the current cringe climate. Stephanie: Every episode, we either take a quick reading of how ADHD life is treating us, or we reach into the cringe mailbox for a cringe fashion forum from the community. Think of it as our pre-experiment data collection. Faelyne: And today's cringe comes from Lilliette from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. They write, For three weeks in February, I made the same lentil soup every single day. Not because I was broke, not because I was meal prepping. But because I had achieved it. I had found the yeah that was all caps soup. I made my husband eat it fourteen times. He stopped commenting around day nine. By week three, he just sat down, looked at the bowls, and said, Lentils, in a voice I can only describe as defeated. I haven't made it since. I don't even like lentils. The recipe is still bookmarked in seventeen places on my computer. And as I reflect on that, Lilliette Seventeen save copies? That's not a bookmark. That is a shrine. Stephanie: Mm. Readings are high. Faelyne: I think it's time we begin. Okay, Casey, you've got this. You've studied. You know this information. This Pennsylvania Beekeeper's hive certification is yours. Just focus. Focus. Focus. It's just a pencil writing. Pencils make normal sounds. That's what they do. It's not that loud. I can barely hear it. Stephanie: Mm. Faelyne: Okay, there's a sniffle. People sniffle. It's cold and flu season. This is a shared public space where all adults I can do this test. Stephanie: Hm, excuse me. Faelyne: And a small cough. I can do the test. I can do the test. My eyes are so dry. Why is that fan blowing directly on my face? Is it blowing directly on my face now? It feels like it's blowing. I don't even know where it's coming from. It feels like it's blowing at me on purpose. Right on my face. For goodness sakes, this collar, this stupid, scratchy collar. Who designs a collar like this? It's so itchy. Who approved this collar? I have had this shirt for three years. Three years of being washed and worn in soft perfection. This is my lucky test-taking shirt. What is it with this collar? I feel so betrayed. So betrayed. And there's that tag. That tag. I'm sure it's always been there, but it's never felt like this. I can feel every single thread of it. Why is it sticking out like this? Is it beginning to fray? Stephanie: Question six. If the Queen Bee is lucky, we should have to move something. See you. that's Faelyne: Focus, focus, focus, focus. Stephanie: got it, got it, got it, got it. Yes. Faelyne: Question seven. The optimal temperature range for a healthy hive is is Stephanie: Okay, so question ten. What is that true? Well, someone trying to trick me here. Bees. Okay, yes, yes, mountain bees. Faelyne: Optimal temperature. This collar. I don't know. It's just so itchy. It feels like I can't breathe. Stephanie: So the pollen rating, if it's the Faelyne: exc excuse me? Stephanie: sorry. nothing. Sorry, nothing. Just just reading. Sorry. Faelyne: No, it's totally totally fine. my gosh, it's not fine. Not fine. Not fine at all. Okay. No, I can't I can't even think. This now this lanyard, this it's absolutely ridiculous. It's unnecessary. This lanyard is cheap and it's literally choking me. Literally choking me. Why do we even have to wear lanyards? Like whose decision was this? Nobody's even checking our lanyards. This is a room of twelve people taking a beekeeping exam. Nobody's an imposter. Who's gonna fake their way into a beekeeping exam? Is there some kind of bee emergency? Some bee conspiracy theory that I don't know about? Ridiculous. What a waste of money for this lineard, and I can't even think because it's making me choke. It's I can't I don't even Okay, I can't Stephanie: Are are you okay are you okay? Do you want some help getting that lanyard undone? Faelyne: No, no, no, I'm fine. Thank you. Thank you. Should Sure. Better. Okay. At least I got that part off. Okay, that's better. Focus. Okay. Question seven, hive temperature. This collar will not stop itching. Okay, Casey, listen to me. You are a capable, intelligent person. You've studied this material. You highlighted the whole textbook. You made flashcard, Casey. You made flashcards. You even made Alan quiz you over video zoom. And he's allergic to bees. Bees love you, Casey. You love bees. You know bees. You know bees. Just rein it in, honey, rein it in. Finish the test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Finish the test. Finish. I wonder how allergic Alan actually is to bees. Like emergency room allergic or just welt in the arm allergic. Bees. Highs. Bees. Highs. Optimal temperature. Stephanie: Mm-hmm. That's okay, that's correct. Faelyne: Two new additions, folks. We have now added pencil tapping and mumbling to the existing scratching and the sniffing. Geez, Stephanie: Yes, that's the answer. Faelyne: is there anything else these other folks cannot keep quiet? we can't leave out the HVAC. Arctic wind gust and the freaking collar and the tag and the lanyard. And my eyes feel like two pieces of sandpaper. Let's see what I got in here. Shoot. Ugh. I see lip balm. I just Stephanie: Hey, are are you okay? Faelyne: just Yeah, totally. Sorry, I'm just I'm just I'm just looking for something and I'm just thinking and yeah, I'm good. Stephanie: Do you wanna do you wanna mind? Faelyne: Yeah, than thanks. Thank you. How long does it take for someone to put something back in their purse? Can she be any louder? That was unfair. Casey that was unfair. She was trying to help me out. It's fine. I'm not a bad person, and it's okay if she is more than a little. Concentrate. Suck the mint. Suck the mint. Suck the mint. What is that smell coming out of her bag? Some kind of one-off hand lotion? my god, it smells so strong. Like a truck room rest stop air freshener. I feel crazy. I feel stop, stop, stop, guessie. You're a grown adult woman. Taking a beekeeper certification exam. You are going to finish this test. You are going to kill it. Kill it like like killer bees. Haha no no and back on track for you, Casey, back on track. Question seven. Optimal hive temperature is between ninety-two and ninety-five degrees Fahrenheit. You know this. You know this in Fahrenheit and Celsius. Boom! You've got this. Keep going, Case, keep going. Stephanie: Time. I feel like I just ran a marathon. Faelyne: same. Are you okay? Stephanie: I will be. I just get nervous around tests. Even even ones I know all the answers to. It just like everything bothers me, like the chair, the way it feels, the you know, the sounds and the AC. I was just trying to sit still and I get so fidgety. So I am sorry. I'm so sorry if I was distracting. Faelyne: No, not at all. I mean Was was I distracted? Stephanie: I noticed you seemed a little uncomfortable. Faelyne: Hm, wow. I was so consumed with all the things distracting me. I didn't think about how loud and distracting I was to others, like the zippers, the bags, the lanyard, th the collar, the the the whole shirt situation. Stephanie: I thought you might be having a hard time. Faelyne: I have ADHD and apparently some pretty significant sensory stuff that I forget about until I'm sitting in a room with fluorescent lights and an AC unit that is clearly targeting me specifically. Stephanie: I have ADHD too. Faelyne: Seriously? Stephanie: Yep, diagnosed in college. The test anxiety, the fidgeting, the not be able to tune things out. I thought everyone felt that way during exams. Faelyne: I just thought I was bad at sitting still. Stephanie: I spent thirty years thinking I was just sensitive and dreamy. Faelyne: Test taking is not just not designed for people like us. okay, Stephanie: No. Faelyne: listen, can I can I ask you something? Are you registered for accommodations like for tests like this? Stephanie: actually did register for the accommodations for this test. Faelyne: Wait what? You can get accommodations for a certification exam, not just for school? Stephanie: Yeah, a lot of testing organizations have them. Separate testing room, extra time, reduced sensory distractions. You apply through whatever organization is running the exam. It's usually on the website. Faelyne: Wow, I did not know that. I never even thought to look into it. Stephanie: Most people don't. Faelyne: Wait, if you've registered for accommodations, why didn't you use them today? Stephanie: I forgot. Yeah, well Faelyne: gonna be okay, right? Stephanie: We're gonna be a hundred percent okay. And next time we are both using our accommodations. Faelyne: There won't even be a next time because I'm sure we both aced this test. Stephanie: Be plus Okay, that was really bad. Hey, do you wanna go grab a cup of coffee? Faelyne: Absolutely. We have earned it. Stephanie: Okay, lab coats back on. Let's talk about what happened to Casey in that room. And before we get to it, we just want to say today's skit came to us from someone buzzing in our orbit, whose shall we name anonymous, but who absolutely knows who she is. have a feeling her story is not a lonely one. Which is why we are opening the cringe fashioned lab doors, but more on that in just a minute. Faelyne: What Casey experienced during the exam is something called sensory processing differences, and it is incredibly common in people with ADHD. The ADHD brain doesn't filter sensory input the same way a neurotypical brain does. Most brains have a built-in gating system that quietly decides what information deserves your attention right now and what can be pushed to the background, like street noise, the hum of a refrigerator, the feeling in your socks, your brain. files those away as irrelevant so you can focus on what's in front of you. Stephanie: In the ADHD brain, that gating system works differently. The filtering is less reliable, which means sensory information that should be background noise sometimes stays in the foreground. It competes for attention on equal footing with everything else. So the scratching of the pencil and the question you're trying to answer are both equally loud, equally present, equally demanding of your focus at the same time. Faelyne: And it's not actually just sound. Let's run through what Casey's nervous system was dealing with in that room because hopefully hopefully not all of these resonate with you. Stephanie: We really do hope that. Faelyne: So let's start with sound sensitivity, sometimes called misophonia, when it's specific sounds that trigger a strong reaction. The pencil scratching, the sniffing, the murmuring, the tapping. For many ADHDers, certain sounds don't just distract, they feel physically intrusive, like the sound is happening inside your skull. Stephanie: And tactile sensitivity, the shirt collar, the tag, the lanyard, the ADHD brain processes touch and texture more intensely than our typical brain sometimes. And something that felt fine in the morning can become quite unbearable under stress or heavy sensory load. The shirt isn't getting scratchier, your brain's tolerance is getting lower and lower as it gets more overwhelmed. Faelyne: And then there's the olfactory sensitivity. When Jo opened her bag to offer Casey the mint, what came was a wave of scented hand lotion that Casey's brain immediately flagged as a five alarm emergency. From Stephanie: Mm-hmm. Faelyne: for many ADHD years, smell is processed more intensely than it is for neurotypical people. A scent that may be completely undetectable or even pleasant to someone, delicts to someone else can feel really overwhelming. maybe even nauseating to an ADHD nervous system that is already running hot. And the particularly cruel part is that you usually can't say anything about it because the person wearing the perfume or the lotion is just existing, doing their thing. They are not doing anything wrong. And they think they smell nice. So you sit there managing yet one more invisible layer of sensory input, alone in your malodorous purgatory. Stephanie: Environmental sensitivity. The AC blowing air directly into Casey's face, her eyes getting dry, her lips getting chapped. Temperature, airflow, and humidity are real sensory inputs, so the ADHD brain registers and cannot easily dismiss. The fan didn't get louder. Casey's capacity to ignore it just ran out. Faelyne: And then there's the proprioceptive sensitivity, which is your brain sense of your body in space. That lanyard around Casey's neck registering as genuinely choking with and the collar feeling restrictive even though it was loose. It feels real. The ADHD nervous system often has a heightened awareness of anything that feels like physical constraint. Stephanie: What happens when all of these stack on top of each other as they did for Casey in the exam room is something we're going to go ahead and call a sensory stack event. Not a meltdown, not a overreaction, a completely predictable neurological response to cumulative sensory overload. Faelyne: SSE trademark pending. this is just the hypers doing their thing. Stephanie: the hypers and the self regulation Casey was trying to do, the peptox, the gum chewing, the soothing lip balm, the bag rummaging, all of those are attempts to make her nervous system self soothe and self re regulate. They're not random. They make complete neurological sense. The shirt just bore the brunt of it. Faelyne: shirt was collateral damage. Stephanie: Now, on accommodations. Casey didn't know she could apply for them in a certification exam, and the truth is a lot of people don't know that. Many testing organizations, professional licensing boards, certification programs, they offer accommodations for people with documented disabilities, including ADHD. Accommodations like separate quiet testing rooms, extended time, reduced sensory distractions. They vary by state and agency, and we have put some resources in the show notes to help you find out what's available for whatever exam or situation you're navigating. Just check them, it's worth your time, and they are there for you to use. Faelyne: And yes, Joe forgot to apply. Because of course she did. Stephanie: Of course she did. Hey, you know what she applied. She just forgot to use them. Which is even worse. Faelyne: Fair, fair difference. Stephanie: of course she did. Alright, so if Yeah, Faelyne: course we would. Stephanie: I know. Truth. So if you're sitting Faelyne: Mm. Stephanie: here right now but flashing back to your last exam room spiral Faelyne: collar, the tag, the sounds, the smells all of which are noticeable somehow, only to you. Stephanie: We see you. We've felt the feels, we've heard the sounds, and before we hand you the protocols, we need to sit with something for a second. Faelyne: Because the science is one thing, but the shame that comes with sensory sensitivity, the feeling that you are being hyper dramatic, that you should be just able to ignore it and move on, and that everyone else in the room is fine and you're the problem, well, that needs its own moment. Stephanie: Welcome to the validation station. Faelyne: Before we get to the prescription, let's just pause. Stephanie: Because if you saw yourself in that skit, you are not too sensitive, you are not being traumatic, you aren't just looking for attention, you're not weak or high maintenance or difficult, you are not too much. Faelyne: Your nervous system is processing more of the world and all of its smells, sights, sounds, well, more of its everything than most of the people around you. That is not a character flaw. It is a neurological reality. And it is exhausting in a way that is not easy to explain to someone who doesn't experience it. Because to them, a room is just a room. To you, the room is a symphony of things competing for your attention, and not one of them is. the actual exam question right in front of you. Stephanie: And the coping strategies, the fidgeting, the chewing, the rummaging, the pep talks, those are your nervous systems trying to regulate itself with whatever tools it has available in that moment. Casey wasn't being disruptive on purpose. She was doing her best in a body that was working very hard. Faelyne: And here is the part that we really want you to hear. Casey assumed that she was the problem in that room, that she was just too overwhelmed and overstimulated. But and then she found out that Joe, who seemed completely fine from the outside, although maybe a little loud, but was also struggling, also overwhelmed, and also running her own quiet internal management system just to sit in that chair and take that test. Stephanie: And when she realized that she had been someone else's distraction too, that cringe went both ways. And somehow that made it so much easier to carry. Odds are you are not the only one in the room who's struggling. You are just the one who can see your own struggle from inside. Faelyne: You deserve environments that work for your brain. You have the right to ask for what you need. Stop spending so much energy managing the room. Use that energy on the actual thing you came to do. Stephanie: Alright, still fully in lab coat adjacent mode. I think mine's on the floor. Alright, here it is. A little bit of white. Faelyne: Lab coat adjacent. Mine's Stephanie: we've witnessed the cringe. We're witnessing the cringe. we've explained the science. Now let's talk about what to actually do about it. Faelyne: Three protocols, two categories. Before you go in and while you're there. Surviving. Stephanie: Protocol one. This is a before protocol, the prep work. Build your sensory kit. This is a small portable collection of items that help your nervous system regulate when the environment isn't cooperating. Think of it as your sensory first aid kit. For Casey, this was well could have been ear canceling head buds or Eye drops because she knew that her eyes would get dry. lip balm because her lips would get cracked from the AC. Anything that is there for you before you sit down. The keys to build the kit before, when your nervous system is calm and when you can think clearly and not when you're already in sensory hunger games. Faelyne: Spaghetti bear has a sensory kit. It's mostly pasta. But the intention is there. Purple is his colour oasis. Stephanie: protocol two. This is also prep work. Do an environmental preview. If you know you're going into a potentially difficult sensory situation, a testing room, a long meeting, a formal event, a restaurant you haven't been to, spend a few minutes thinking through the sensory experience what it might be like. Will there be AC? Bring a sweater. Will it be loud? Pack the earplugs. Will there be a dress code that requires uncomfortable clothing? Wear your most comfortable, sensory-friendly version of it and plan accordingly. You cannot always control the environment, but you can show up more. prepared for it. Faelyne: And check the organization's website for accommodations before you go. Check it. It takes five minutes. Put a reminder on your phone right now if you have an exam coming up. Go ahead. Waiting, waiting on you. Okay. Joe forgot. Don't be Joe. We have resources. use them. And we'll list some of those resources in the show notes to help you find what's available. Now, protocol three. And this is during During the exam. This is a survival Stephanie: Uh-huh. Faelyne: protocol. Have a regulation anchor ready. A regulation anchor is one small discrete physical action that you can take to help your nervous system come back down when it starts to spiral. So chewing gum, sucking on a mint, very effective. The rhythmic movements of the jaw activates the parasympathetic nervous system and can actually reduce sensory overwhelm. Hmm. Stephanie: No. Faelyne: pretty impressed with my own sciencey science. Stephanie: Yeah, me too. Faelyne: Grounding techniques are also available, like putting your feet flat on the floor, feeling the weight of your hands on the desk can help too. The goal here is to give your nervous system something small and controllable to focus on so it stops trying to process everything at once. It's a well needed and effective pause that what they do is they give you a chance to actually outrun the hypers. Choose your anchor in advance, know what it Have it with you. Stephanie: Don't actually choose an anchor though. It'd be too heavy. Casey's anchor turned out to be gum, courtesy of Joe or Mint's. Next time she'll have her own. And one more thing, if you're in the middle of a sensory spiral and you have the option to remove yourself even just for a moment, take it. A 90-second break in a quieter space can genuinely reset your nervous system enough to get you back in the room. You're not abandoning the task. You're being a special baby by taking a break. You're doing the smart mature thing, giving your brain 30 seconds to stop screaming so you can do the thing you came here to do. Faelyne: Alright, today's skit came from someone brave enough to share their story with us. And we are so grateful because wow, the shirt, Stephanie: Yeah. Uh-huh. Faelyne: Every single detail of that exam room felt like a memory we didn't know we had. Stephanie: And that's exactly what the cringe fashion lab is for. We want your stories, the ones you've never told anyone because you're sure you are the only person on earth who has ever been undone by a collar tag. Faelyne: Maybe you excused yourself from a work meeting because the overhead light was physically painful and you told everyone you had to take a call. Maybe you have cut every tag out of every piece of clothing you own, creating identical holes in all of the collars. And maybe you have a designated chair at every regular venue you go to, because any other chair just isn't an option. The others are scratchy and smell weird. Stephanie: Whatever the cringe is, don't let it sit in your sensory memory bank ready to wake you up at 3 AM. Send it to us. We want to dissect it. Find the DHD win in it and prove to you that you are absolutely not the only one. Faelyne: You can email us at the ADHD spaghettibear at gmail.com or click the link in the description to fill out our cringe fashion form. You can even stay anonymous if the cringe is that fresh, that scratchy, or that loud. Stephanie: And that itchy. Your sensory nightmare could be our next lab experiment. Help us all feel a little bit more normal. Let's desensitize the sensitivity. No judgement. Faelyne: No judgment. Only science. Stephanie: I t I tried to trick her to saying it first. Okay. Faelyne: Okay, experiment concluded. ADHD sensory processing differences, they are real. They are neurological, and the fact that a golf shirt collar nearly derailed an entire beekeeping certification exam is not a personal failing. It's not even the shirt's fault. It is a sensory stack event, SSE, trademark pending, and now you know what to call it. SSE. Stephanie: Because trademark that. Because your system is not broken. It's running a very detailed sensory report and double time. You now have three protocols. Protocol one, build your sensory kit before you need it. Faelyne: Protocol 2. Do an environment preview and check for accommodations before you go in. They exist. They are for you. Check the show notes for resources. Stephanie: Protocol three, have your regulation anchor ready and know what it is and where it is before you walk through the door. Faelyne: And maybe keep some mints or some gum in your bag. Stephanie: Unless you chew loudly and you would distract yourself with your chewing. Faelyne: could happen. But until next time, keep experimenting and TRY NOT TO DI OF Stephanie: Why not? Faelyne: Embarrassment. We're we're getting that. Stephanie: Bem.