Dr. D: We got sunset on tonight. Strawberry kiwi pineapple. Coach A: Strawberry Kiwi Pound That sounds like a good combination. Dr. D: It is quite, on your sparkling water journey, so you probably would like that actually. Coach A: But I think I only tasted one Sparkling Water flavor though. well, no, no, no. But like that one that I told you I tried and it was hitting. Cause Sparkling Water is childish. It's not childish. I take that back. That's not the word. Sparkling Water is too quiet for me. Like it's not even, it's not real flavors. It'd be like, it don't be like fruit punch. It'd be like fruit. Dr. D: That's not true. Mm-hmm. It's really, it's very grown. Coach A: It's like fruit punch. It's not fruit punch, it's fruit punch. It's like whisper water. I don't like that. With a little bit of pizzazz. Little bit of carbonation. Dr. D: It's, I think it's all you need. Like once you go to it, a soda just gives syrup. Coach A: I give you that. I give you that. Dr. D: Like, and this is just perfect. It's just the essence. It is a whisper, but I like a whisper. Coach A: I guess. how you doing, little mama? Let me whisper in your ear. Say you something that you might like to hear. We're gonna keep it PG today. Dr. D: Are we? Probably not. Coach A: Probably not, but that song is a lot. Dr. D: It is. And honestly, the clean version is enough. Listen, the clean version is enough. When I first heard the real version, it's it's too much. It's too far. Coach A: Where do you see me? Okay. the whisper song. Dr. D: Yeah, the radio version is too much, but the actual version is like, is you cool? Coach A: Bye. Yeah, it's wild. It's wild. That's wild. I think that song is a big difference between the clean version and the explicit version to me. cause you know, where do you see my... Oh! Turns into... Where do you see my boob? Ayy boob! Where do you see my boob? Dr. D: quite. Y'all. It's just enough. It's just enough. It's like, maybe you my O, it's just enough, because it's like, ⁓ But the full word is like, you're doing too much. You take the mystery out of it. Coach A: Yeah, but listen, but we was we was that was We was bobbing our heads and tapping our feet. Dr. D: We were, we sure were, every morning on the way to school and home. Coach A: You was listening to the yin yang twins on the old school? ⁓ don't think I once ever in my African American life listened to the yin yang twins ⁓ like 5pm. ⁓ Dr. D: You I mean, it was on the radio. It wasn't on my iPod. It was on the radio. Coach A: Okay, they was playing that who was the DJ why is y'all playing yin-yang twins at 7 a.m. I don't like that At no point in my life all the yin-yang twins from philly what that mean Dr. D: I mean, I mean, it's Philly. I don't know what your radio stations was given. No, I'm just saying our radio station is playing whatever. $4.99? What would you listen to on your way to school? Like on your iPod or your, or your. Coach A: I think the closest thing to the yin-yang twins I listened to off the E when I was in school was Lil Wayne. I listened to Lil Wayne for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It don't matter, baby. Dr. D: which is also. That was your on the school bus commute song. Coach A: Yeah, I was always an old soul and I always liked good soul and good R &B. even back then, I was who listened to a lot of ⁓ &B. Dr. D: Mmm. Hmm. Coach A: So 9 times out of 10, I was probably listening to Lil Wayne or truth be told, probably some R. Back then, like, yes. Yeah, so I was listening to a lot of that. I was listening to Pretty Ricky, like all the stuff, all the things. Dr. D: ⁓ Yeah, didn't know any better. interesting. I feel like I had a pretty eclectic music tape in high school. We would swap iPods and people would just put whatever on people's iPods. Some stuff I wouldn't have chosen myself. I'm like, okay, she put me onto this or she put me onto that. There's a lot of rock, lot of Avril Lavigne, a lot of Beyonce, course, the Destiny's Child. Coach A: I don't know. Okay. Dr. D: dolls. All girls of course. Like no boys allowed on my iPod even back then. Coach A: No boys. Dr. D: Not really. I'm sure I had Lil Wayne and Pretty Ricky and stuff. Like Robin Thicke's album was pretty good too. Hello, Cash. in. Coach A: He is clocked in. Now, Robin Thicke. Okay, I will admit Robin Thicke's album had me in chokehold. You know who else? White Boy album also had me in chokehold. Justin Timberlake. Yes. That joint, that whatever that album was that had, uh, it's like, I'm stuck in the mirror. Oh, that, that album. Bruh, I think I knew every song on that album at the time. Dr. D: You JT. 2020, listen, no skips, it front to back. It is a good body of work, like undeniably. Coach A: You are, you are the love of my life. You are, you are the love. That was a bop. I'm not thinking that. Let me download that. Dr. D: Download is crazy. Download that is crazy. I mean, a good one. Coach A: Yeah, that's a lot. Pull up my iTunes. Dr. D: You buy the whole album? It's a great album, but it's like, do you like Justin Timberlake or do you like Timbaland? Coach A: What about that album? like both of them together. That's what makes that album what it is. They're both together. Obviously we like Timbaland just what everybody Dr. D: Tap, tap song. Yeah, just yeah, that's true. you have a favorite song on that album? Coach A: That one. That was my favorite song. Yes. The extended version. You are, you are the love of my life. Dr. D: That one. What's it called? Mirrors? Just let it rock. Okay, it's on camera. It's recorded. I said it's on camera, you said that. It is a hot mic. Well, it's not that hot. You're speaking into it. You noted it's on. Coach A: Huh? ⁓ Speaking of how much you you hurt. ⁓ I think I told you about that lady that said that stuff or her hot zoom mic to them black them black kids Dr. D: Mm-hmm. I I just love when they reveal themselves. Like, if you're be racist like that, if you're gonna be that crazy about it, I'm glad that your, the veil has been lifted, diva. Coach A: Yeah, for those for those who don't know what we're talking about there was a girl girl much a lady ⁓ was a lady a teacher teacher lady who was on like a zoom call for school. Let me look up the story Dr. D: Girl. feature lady Zoom call. Coach A: lady zoom call. Dr. D: Your hair has really gotten so long. I your hair has gotten so long. Coach A: No. Yeah, Allison. Allison Friedman. Friedman? Dr. D: I think it's Friedman. Coach A: Well, she just got fried, so fried man. Double homicide. was caught on live on a live zoom microphone during a district three community education council meeting. Making racist remarks about students she was heard saying ⁓ too dumb to know they're in a bad school. Dr. D: Damn. Yikes. And that's what she thinks about constituents. Coach A: And she was, she was, she was referencing a falsely attributed quote about training black people to use the back. Dr. D: And what does that even mean? Use the back of what? Coach A: think she was just implying that like we made sit in the back. We know how to use the back, so. Dr. D: Interesting, what an odd thing to say. Coach A: Yeah, Hunter College, Hunter College, which is in New York City. Dr. D: Mm. See you. Coach A: somebody was like, it's hearable what you're saying is hearable. Dr. D: Right, shut up. What you're saying is hearable. It's such an odd way to phrase it too. Like, why can't you just say, we can't hear you, girl? What you're saying is hearable. Coach A: That's who's teaching the kids at Hunter College up there in New York. Dr. D: Yikes, well hopefully she's not teaching them anymore. Coach A: I don't know. Maybe. They probably don't care. Hunter College doesn't sound like anywhere black people go anyway. Dr. D: Welcome to the podcast, guys. Coach A: Yeah, sorry We did we did we came in kind of hot. Yeah, we leave a second of a week. Look mercury must be Mercury must be in Gatorade or something Dr. D: You just came in hot. It's okay. It's all right. Last time we didn't even introduce our stuff. Sometimes we just get into it. or micro braids. Coach A: Yeah. Yeah. Dr. D: or renegade. Coach A: don't even know that dance. I never knew that dance. Dr. D: ⁓ You did something similar to what it is, I think. Coach A: Get silly. Dr. D: Welcome to the unofficial transcript. Coach A: Anyway, welcome guys, to the unofficial transcript where we clearly talk about everything but what we're supposed to. ⁓ But we're supposed to be talking about the ghettos the nobody told you about adulthood. It is the worsthood. Dr. D: Yeah. It is. Coach A: So we just be talking that talk, man. We all out here just trying to figure it out together. Dr. D: adulthood is the worst hood, what is the best hood? Coach A: feel like a dog could also be the best hood, but it's just... What's the best- cause my childhood was also very ghetto so I'm hesitant to say that. Dr. D: Mm. I think it's the Gaborhood. Obviously. Coach A: I missed the person I was before you said that. Dr. D: You left the gay bread. Coach A: I'm just, why DC don't got no gayborhood? Dr. D: I'm sure DC does or has an equivalent. Do they not? Coach A: But it's not, but like, yes, but not really. it's like culturally the gayborhood. Like everybody respects that. Dr. D: It's not the Gabor, it's not like our Gaborhood. Mm-hmm. and Philly. Coach A: Yeah. Well, I'm saying like enough for a time of its own. Dr. D: Yeah, it's a thing. Like it is a thing. Like the street signs are rainbow. The streets are rainbow. Coach A: Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like y'all invested. Dr. D: We have an LGBT welcome center thing now. Coach A: job, Philly. You all did one thing right. Dr. D: We did a lot of things, right? Coach A: Really about to go up going, ain't y'all having the huh? Dr. D: A Wimba team? ⁓ I thought she wanted a Wimba team. Coach A: girl, ⁓ might not be alive to see the Philadelphia WNBA team hit the floor the way the world on fire. Dr. D: That's... 2030 is not that far away. Coach A: I don't think it did. I don't think it takes that long to fuck shit up. Personally. Like, could very well be ⁓ by 2030. Dr. D: Bless his hope. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Diva, slow down. It's not though. I mean it is, but like, let's just be happy. Let's just get along and be optimistic. Coach A: world on fire Okay, farewell. See what I can do. as long as you keep your head to the sky. Dr. D: That's what a gayborhood does to you. It just makes you feel ⁓ Yes, I am. Coach A: Hopeful. Yes, we can. Dr. D: Yes we can. Coach A: Obama we miss you Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: Help us. Dr. D: I like to send people AI pictures of Obama and like Martin Luther King or Obama and like Booker T Washington. Coach A: You are why the people are mad that AI exists right now cuz why Dr. D: AI been existed, we're just using it more. Coach A: Yes, that's what I mean. I don't want to see no- I'm tired of seeing AI-generated pictures of Obama on the block. why ain't Obama? I'm tired of seeing them AI-generated pictures. Dr. D: I saw a AI picture of Shirley Chisholm, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks and like Asada Shakur, but it was like to set it off. To set it off. Coach A: Please, like what do we do? What do we do? Yo. Okay, I kinda wanna see that. I gotta hold you. That is just it, I kinda wanna see it. I don't think I saw that. Dr. D: Let's set it off movie poster. I think I said it to my mom. I'll find it for you. Coach A: who made that? i don't know if i'm angry or happy that you made it but i wanna see it Dr. D: But why it's like the mixing of time periods is like the it's what's odd. Like the Madea and the Oprah to me makes sense because Tyler Perry and Oprah are homies in real life. So Madea and Oprah, yeah, they can be city girls together. Coach A: I'm Tyler Perry on my timeline too. I'm tired of seeing Madea in the trap. Like, I'm tired. Dr. D: I love it. I like Baddie Madea. Coach A: Baddie Madea with France. Dr. D: Yeah. Coach A: And I bust down. I bust down AP. Like, what are we doing? What is this? What are we doing? Sometimes we just nigga too hard. I don't like it. Dr. D: What is my dear? ⁓ my dear. Can I tell you, so like, you know how people sell like caricatures of like, you know, like you get a sketch of yourself. Curricature, what do you call it? Coach A: See you later again! I don't know that's why I thought it was caricature That's what I thought it was you said it you said it like somebody from DC like her you treat like that so that Dr. D: What do you call it? From where? Coach A: DC. ⁓ Dr. D: What? Wait, you was breaking up. What'd you say? DC. Okay, sorry. It was very fuzzy for a second. But yeah, those, so caricature, whatever that is, a sketchy cartoon person. So me and Jhane one time, my cousin for everyone, we were like on the way home from school, like on the train and somebody was selling them on the street for like $5 or something. And she got, don't know, she got some rapper. I don't remember what rapper she got. And I got one, I don't remember who's the picture I got. Maybe she got Meek Mill, some celebrity. Coach A: Yes. Dr. D: But under it, it was bunch of other ones under it. guess he ⁓ gave her whatever. And it wasn't until we got home till we realized she had pictures under. So she was like, ⁓ my God, who do I get? Will it be Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, whoever? Well, I was like 20 pictures of Madea. And ⁓ was like, Madea? We so hyped for the reveal ⁓ of what ooh, because the guy had Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj. ⁓ Coach A: You Yeah. Dr. D: 2010. So you couldn't, you didn't know who was up under there. Imagine our surprise when it was like stacks of Madea caricatures being like, think of a Madea face that she would make. It was like a very artistic caricature. ⁓ Coach A: Helloooo like heller. Damn, I wish I would have been there. That would have been funny to me. Dr. D: I wish I had a time machine. Let ask her about that. I wonder if she still got it. I'm sure she doesn't but it was a good laugh. Coach A: Mm-hmm. Please. Might be worth something one day. Dr. D: ⁓ no. Auf medier! Coach A: You wanna? Dr. D: I can ask Chad to make me one. Okay. Coach A: Please don't. Stop using AI to make your fly as we tired of looking at them. Dr. D: They all have the same look, like they all have the same font and the same like art style that just gives corny to me. Like Canva's right there. Canva is right there. Coach A: Yeah, I can't Dr. D: Canva's right there and it's free. Coach A: Anything is better than them lazy ass AI generated flyers. They all look the same. Dr. D: feel like use chat as inspo and then take that to the next level. you have to give it a human touch. You have to give it a human touch. No, it's not. Coach A: The thing is, Canva is not even that hard. So like, wouldn't even take you that long to put together a flyer on Canva. Just go the extra mile. Stop asking Gemini to do it. Stop asking Gemini to do that. Stop it. Or chat. Or whoever your companion is of choice. That's what they turning into. Dr. D: Go to extra few steps. Companion. Yeah. Remember ⁓ on Maury when they had the sexy decoys? I don't know. It's, you know what? So somebody asked me when I did the 5K the other day, yesterday, whatever that was, yesterday. Like we were talking about it. Cause Alicia, shout out Alicia. Like she will plug us and everywhere. She was up ahead running or jogging, whatever she was doing. Coach A: is this show, bro? What is this show? ⁓ Dr. D: She's like, ⁓ yeah, my friend's a podcast. So she's talking about the podcast So she's talking about the podcast and so I catch up to them and we're talking about it she's like, what's it about? And I was like, hmm, well, so many things. So I say all that to say, this is, the word is our oyster. Talk about so many things. The people, we're the people what they want. I think as we get more comfortable, we're just, we just blossom and bloom. Coach A: I'm to flip over to Shout out to Alicia. Dr. D: Shout out Alicia, that's my girl. And shout out Taylor. Coach A: she do be plugging us. I saw her a couple times on thred, shouting at us, and I was like, hell yeah. she saying? Dr. D: She's a real one. Re-threat it. Coach A: Really three repose rethread. I think it's just repose. I think it says repose Dr. D: What is a rethread? Like a double stitch? It should be a double stitch because you know it's a thread. Coach A: You know, I feel like I got a sneaky suspicion nobody in the Threads boardroom thought of that prior to just now. I know, I know what you mean. I think that they are gonna be like, we wouldn't have even thought of that. Dr. D: But it's a threat, so. Mm-hmm. The same person who thought... Sinamon should be a Sinamon. same person in the ad. I feel like that brain blast is the same level of brain blast as whoever thought to make the Applejack's mascot a Jamaican cinnamon stick called cinnamon because that's so clever like what that's that's big brain energy. Coach A: a Jamaican cinnamon stick. It is and it made me It made me want to eat it like I ain't gonna hold you. I was like I want like he cool Dr. D: A Rastafarian cinnamon stick? Are you kidding me? Coach A: Just cuz, like, I trust him. trust- I trust Cinnamon. Dr. D: It, I think it lulled me into a false sense of security about cinnamon though. Because when we went to Grenada, they were very much homophobic and don't let you wear army fatigue, which is the Isle of Spice. Coach A: I was already saying, yeah, for those who don't know, Grenada is the Isle of Spice. got all the spices. ⁓ coffee beans. Dr. D: And that's where Cinnamon, ⁓ but they don't gay people or army fatigue. Coach A: That's a lot of places in the Caribbean though. You can't wear armor fatigue or camouflage because can't wear camouflage specifically because it looks too much like their army. So they don't want you ⁓ be mistaken. Dr. D: Yeah. or a military. Coach A: Military yeah, that's why I tell you that So long you can go to jail Dr. D: It is a log. were very, they were very strict. Even in a purse, even a scarf, even a headband. No camo. Coach A: Mm-hmm. Just like, take that shit off! Take it off! ⁓ Dr. D: Come on, yeah. So what we gonna talk about today? Coach A: Damn right, we do got a show to do. My god, we got a show to do, we just yapping. Dr. D: We do got a show to do. It's okay, that's what a podcast is all about. Coach A: Stick beside us, stick on stick beside us. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: So today we were supposed to talk about this whole soft life soft life culture that the girls are subscribing to these days. I mean, first and foremost, I feel like we talked about it very briefly before we got on, but I don't know. Like I might be struggling even with understanding what the soft life even is. Like what's the definition of soft life? Like what somebody say? Dr. D: Mew. Coach A: I'm in my soft girl era, blah blah blah, what does that mean? Is it just me like, I'm protecting my peace, like I'm putting me first, this my, I'ma put me first Lucius, type of era and they do, you know, all the things, is that the significance behind it? Just, you know, what is it? Dr. D: I think, yes, it is that and it's also some other stuff. I think where it came from, and this is not research at all. This is very much off the dome. So maybe we could do some research and like come back and edit. But think a soft for women specifically, for black women specifically, the soft life came from ⁓ good run, ⁓ good generational run, maybe multi-generational run. of Black women having to be hard, to be the aggressor, having to be the breadwinner, having to be like the one who keeps it all together. And think term soft life or just softness in general comes from a reclaiming ⁓ of that energy ⁓ because ⁓ Coach A: Okay. Dr. D: I think women who, straight women, guess, women who are ⁓ with men have to, to an extent, not be in their feminine energy or their soft energy all the time because men, black men, men in general, are just historically. less able to Like more recently, they're less able to like, Black women are more educated, they out earn men. Like there's lots of things that basically make Black women big dog in the situation in a family dynamic. And so that's kind of annoying to be that person, but still have to be like, submissive, but like, you're the one paying all the bills. So I think, I think soft life also comes from a rejection of that. Like, I don't want to be hard. don't want to, I don't like, just because men aren't taking on that, like, role anymore or authentic with any authenticity, like they want to be in charge, but not really be providers, if that makes sense. I think women are just stepping away, like divesting from all of that. And so yes to what you're saying, like it is about self care. but it comes from a place of putting yourself last all the time. So it's a rejection of that instinct to like put everyone else's needs before you. It's like going the opposite way. Like the main priority in life. And I think for a lot of women, we're raised to not be the priority. We're raised to be the caretakers, to make sure everyone else is cool before we even think about ourselves. Coach A: way. Dr. D: So I think A Soft Life is also about that. So it's very multifaceted, I think how you phrased it is very much. the essence of it, like taking care of yourself, like being kind to yourself, treating yourself with care. Coach A: Yeah. Yeah. And I think, I think probably where the issue lies is. People are. I think people are just seeing what the output of that looks like. And so it makes it look like that's just all it is. like, you know what saying? It's me no, it's me taking a bubble bath. It's me, ⁓ you know what I'm saying? That's the output. So I think that it's just the message that the output is sending might be what's causing the confusion in defining what. Dr. D: you Mm-hmm. Yeah. Coach A: us off life means. Dr. D: Yeah, because that's what you see. You don't see the reason. You don't see it's like the tip of the iceberg. like the visual stuff. Coach A: So what do you think, what do you think, like when people post that online, like I'm now in my soft girl era, what do you think is the intended message that they are trying to send? Is it like as a person who is a friend of this person, right? Like let's say you posted that and if I'm your friend, I see that and I'm like, okay, does this mean she don't want me around? You know what I'm saying? Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ no, soft girl doesn't mean I'm isolating myself. Soft girl just means I'm doing what feels good to me. Like I'm prioritizing myself. some, like, I guess it's very subjective, but I wouldn't see somebody being like, I'm in my soft girl era and think they want to hang out with me. I would think, okay, okay, you're taking care of yourself. Like you're, you're putting yourself first and I'm proud of you. That's what I would, that's what I would think. Coach A: Mm-hmm. But think a lot of people imply that that means isolation. You know what I mean? Dr. D: Yeah, like I'm just like take, I'm at home reading or like whatever. And maybe to some it is, think soft, soft girl things can be very individual, very subjective. Like what soft means to me is not necessarily what soft means to someone else. But I don't think it means that you're isolating yourself per se. I think what it means is that you're decentering or you're decentering like. Coach A: Yeah. Dr. D: romantic relationships, if that makes sense. Like, especially when it comes to women who date men. Because I think, I think, and we talked about this in the bisexual conversation, dating a woman, you can be very much in your soft girl era and be in a very thriving relationship with a woman because they can understand that in a way that, and they can also to Coach A: Yeah. Dr. D: your life in a way that's just a lot more nuanced and a lot more like holistic and emotionally available. Whereas for women who date men, I do believe that for them to be in a software era means they have to de-center men. Because if you're male centered as a person, you're not putting yourself first. that's just, they don't go together. Like in my opinion, in my opinion. Coach A: That's a hard take, that's a hard take. Dr. D: It be, but I feel like to be male centered, like you can't be male centered and self centered, in my opinion. Am I a bingin'? I'm sorry. But if you're always, if you're boy crazy, if you, I just feel like if you're like, I think the male gaze is like, is such a specific type of performance of gender. We're all performing like, like, what does RuPaul say? We're all born naked and the rest is drag. So everything we do is a performance to some extent. Like we're all, we're all putting, we're all. Coach A: Talk your shit. Dr. D: doing some sort of character, right? However, if you're someone who's intent on getting male attention, you are most likely rejecting a lot of like who you are and what you value because you're performing for a male perspective. I feel like going other way, like if you're pursuing romance with a woman, the way you carry yourself, I don't think is as much of an abandonment of who you are. And this might be very high-tech, I don't know. just my opinion though. ⁓ think like, you can't be male-centered and self-centered. But I can be woman-centered and self-centered. Coach A: Hey, you one that got the doctor before your name, you feel me? So I feel like your opinion is valid. Dr. D: That's very true. Thank you. Coach A: You qualify, yeah, yeah, you credential, Dr. D: Thank you. Thank you. Coach A: I will free you. But it's so interesting to hear you describe, like, will you interpret the definition of that soft era to be because I see stuff on threads about it, ⁓ almost sounds like they're like a response to hustle culture. Like, I got to grind, I got to grind, I got to grind. You know, I'm on my shit and are getting burned out by that. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: And so it comes across as like the soft girl means I'm no longer interested in burning myself out in that way. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Very true. Coach A: So to hear like, and I feel like that's a very different definition than what you provide. And I don't know if it's a this or, or this and, like it could be, it could be things. Dr. D: I think it's this and I think being a soft girl is a prioritization of yourself. Whatever it is, whatever it is that you're putting ahead of yourself, whether it's money, whether it's a relationship, whether it's family obligation, like whatever it is that you're constantly letting come before you and what you need going to like going against that is going to put you in your soft grow era. And I think it's kind of like what I'm the same, like hustle culture. Why do we feel like we have to hustle to make money to provide for ourselves? And I think a lot of women were in that hustle mindset, even partner like by yourselves, like you could be by yourself in a hustle culture, you can also be partnered with someone and still feel like I got to grind, grind. And it shouldn't be like that. So. Coach A: Yeah, that's a word. That's a word, Loki. Dr. D: You shouldn't be like... Coach A: That's a word. Might have made the people mad with that one. Dr. D: your work. How? I don't think so. think it's inflammatory. So do you think that was inflammatory? Coach A: display. Hmm? Nah, nah, No, but I think it's like a, like a damn, you know what saying? Not in a negative way. Dr. D: Yeah. Yeah. No, it's- Coach A: So like, is the intent of being in your soft girl era, right? Or your soft era, because I guess it could be a soft boy era, I suppose. ⁓ But the desire output from a person who is going into this era, is the intended output like growth, or is it just like a break? Dr. D: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what, I think that's a very, I don't know if we think about things in terms of outputs. I think thinking about an output is not very soft girl of you. I don't think it's about the output. I think it's about, I don't think it's about the output. Coach A: I just feel like if you yourself are yourself to go through a process, because that's what it sounds like, it's a process, ⁓ you undoing something, you know what ⁓ Some change is going to happen. So I'm asking, do people go in this era with the intent, I want to be whatever my version of Betty is on the other side of this. Dr. D: Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think that's what it is. think it's whatever, like you said, whatever my version of better is, I'm caring for myself, which is so like against your instinct. I think sometimes as a woman is to put yourself first. Coach A: Mm. Right, so. Right. But I think that there's a certain level of growth that comes with that. Like learning that lesson, that's a growth. So I feel like a lot of people go into this software era hoping that they will be stronger or they will grow on the other side. But I think there's an argument to be made for like real growth coming from. Like at what point does you de-centering all of this stuff? Because you're... Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Coach A: It sounds like part of the intent is to make it easier for you. Right? So if you're taking away all the hard stuff, how do you grow from that if you never go through the hard stuff? I think there's an argument to be made for that. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Yeah, you have to have some contrast, or you have to have something to compare it to, because to embrace a soft life implies that you have had a hard life at some point, or some hard moments at least. Coach A: Yeah. I just don't know. I don't know. There's a... Again, just from the way I it, talked about on threads, just seems like a lot of people are also, it is a synonym for like, I don't want to deal with this hard stuff right now. Like, yeah, like maybe like I've been doing, cause you said it's an era, right? Like it's an era, a phase. Dr. D: right now. Mm-hmm. Maybe, I think it's so subjective. you can have a soft people, like there are people who want a soft life, like they desire a soft life. So you can be in a softer era, but you could also be working towards living a softer life as well. So it doesn't necessarily have to be finite. It doesn't have to have a start and a stop. I think it's a mindset shift. Coach A: That's what I'm saying. Okay. Okay. Okay. Mm. Dr. D: that hopefully outcome is that you're ⁓ you're more centered because you have to take care of yourself first. Coach A: Yeah, so, okay. It makes sense. It makes sense. But I wonder like... Is the soft girl, soft life, is the soft life like a privileged life, right? Cause it sound like it's something that everybody wouldn't even be able to afford living trying, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you want to make it about you, but maybe you got a daughter that also needs things. So you can't just not, you know what saying? Like you can't take a mental health day to day cause Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Yeah? Coach A: You gotta get the bread. You know, I don't know, like. Dr. D: Yeah, I think it's like a roller coaster. Like I think for many people, you're grinding so that you can have a soft life. Like you're doing a lot of hard stuff first so that you can have a soft life later. Like that also can be, like it's, I think it's a really big umbrella term at this point. But like you could argue that people go, like go through the grind, go through college, go through grad school, go through whatever. Coach A: Mm. Yeah. Dr. D: go through the trenches so that they are able to make the type of money that will allow them to live a soft life. Like, I don't know if you just wake up and be like, I'm in my soft career era. Like, I don't, like you could, if you want to implement it in small doses, like whatever that looks like as individual, you can be like, I'm going to law school, I'm going to college, like I'm going to med school, I'm doing all this, I'm grinding now so that... I can have a housekeeper in five years so that I can do, I can remove all these barriers or I can like make my life easier later. I think it's like, again, are you in a soccer era or are you trying to live a soft life? And like what decisions, the decisions you make kind of impact that. Coach A: Yeah. So you gotta, it's almost like a. It's almost like you got to do the thing you don't want to do to be able to not do the thing that you don't want to do no more. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Coach A: Interesting. Dr. D: That's how I see it at least. Coach A: Interesting I'm very Dr. D: What do you think? What are your takes? Like, do you want to live a soft life? Coach A: I by this definition, I yeah, I feel like who wouldn't want to live, like truthfully, who wouldn't want to live this half life? Dr. D: I don't know. Coach A: but everybody can live their self life. Dr. D: Probably not. Coach A: That's the- by that definition, everybody can't live it. Somebody gotta- Dr. D: Somebody gotta do the stuff. Somebody gotta do the step. Coach A: Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'. Dr. D: I know. But I think, I don't know. I think it's fine to want a soft life and it's fine to want to have softness and ease and like not have to struggle. Coach A: You just incorporate soft life qualities into your life. Maybe you can't just go full soft. Medium. Medium firm. Dr. D: Go for soft. Yeah, medium firm or just medium. Like there's a 75 hard challenge and then people make a 75 medium or 75 soft. Like soft-ish. Life is what you make it. Coach A: Yeah, soft-ish. There's like a scale on the soft error. So it's like, it's not a ⁓ or no, it's like a... Dr. D: Mm-hmm. And it depends, you can be soft in some facets of life and willing to work hard in others. Coach A: spectrum. Dr. D: Like there are some things that I would like never want to do again if I could help it. Like, like I would never want to take out trash ever again. If I could, if it was like a realistic thing. I mean, there are places that was like Valley trash and stuff like that, but not where I live. if that was something that I could do, ⁓ would, I would eliminate that. ⁓ Coach A: Like what? Like what? You were prioritized finding a place that has valley trash Dr. D: That's not something that I ever want to do. Like, I don't like it. But there are other things that I don't mind doing. Coach A: don't like it. You ballet laundry? Dr. D: Perhaps. I don't mind doing laundry. I find it very relaxing. You know, just put on a good show or a good audio book and just like dissociate for a little bit. Yeah, just, just like zone out, get lost in something, you know? And no, not get lost in laundry, get lost in a book or a TV show or like a good something. And I'm just moving my hands. Like I like to be busy in that way. Taking out the trash is like, that's not busy. That's just like, I don't want to, it's not, it's not like work. Like I'm not like. Coach A: to laundry. get lost in laundry. It's not busy Dr. D: doing something. Coach A: What is your definition of work? Dr. D: I know. just don't want to do it. I just don't want to go down. don't want to go. I just don't. I just don't. I just don't want to do that. don't want do that. I just don't. I don't want to take out the trash and I'm proud. I don't want to take out the trash and I'm proud. I still do it though, but I just that's just something that if I could eliminate that with with the quickness, I would do it. Coach A: Just say you don't want to it. Yeah, it's okay to say that. There. just set it out there and forget it. Dr. D: Like if I got rich overnight, there would be signs. I wouldn't be loud about it, but there would be signs. Coach A: They got trash man come every day in this neighborhood. Dr. D: he come every other day here? Coach A: No. Dr. D: I just don't want to do, I just don't like it. Coach A: That's why ballet trash exists though, because I'm sure you're not the only one. I'm sure there's millions of people who also feel the same way you do. Trash don't bother me, but... Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just like it's just a hassle. It throws off my routine so bad. Like I just like I don't like it. But that's just me. Coach A: But that's your definition of software error. But not the only definition, but it's a part of it. Like it's an element. Dr. D: That's not the only definition, that's, it's a part of it. It's a part of it for me. It's so funny. Cause Taylor, my bestie Taylor asked me, she was like, are we high maintenance or like, am I high maintenance? I think her and I have the same level ⁓ to an extent, like we might compromise or like whatever. have the same level of, I think routine maintenance or whatever, like beauty maintenance. And she was like, do you consider what, we do high maintenance and I don't think so. Personally, I don't think I'm high maintenance. Like I think it's a spectrum, like the same way, because it's a sliding scale. I feel like to some people, might be considered high maintenance because of what I'm willing to pay and the frequency at which I pay it for certain ⁓ To some people, and even probably to myself a few years ago, I was like, ⁓ I'm not doing that. Like I'm not, that's necessary. But I think right now there are things that are very much necessities for my mental health. Like it's mentally a necessity. Like, and there are some people who do way more maintenance than me. then what we do, like what my normal is like, you know, nothing to other people. So it's very much a slightest, I wouldn't consider myself low maintenance or no maintenance, but I wouldn't consider myself super high maintenance either, but it's like. Coach A: understood. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Dr. D: Whatever you want to do to make your life livable and enjoyable and joyful, like I think is what is your soft life. Like we only get one life or one body. we live, do what makes you feel good. Coach A: So, what? So what would D's soft life look like besides not being able to take out the trash for you? Dr. D: What would my soft life look like? Hmm. I think first, like when I think about like income, like, or like jobs, I will want like so much flexibility and so much variety. Like I would like to me, I'm not a person who doesn't want to work. Like I know people like, ⁓ I don't desire to work. Like, I don't think I have that mindset. Like I think I always want to be doing something productive. Coach A: Yeah. Dr. D: in the world. So like to me, a soft life ⁓ be the freedom to be able to switch gears, like to switch into different lanes and that be like a respected thing. Like, I'm teaching today, ⁓ I'm I'm in the office this day. ⁓ Like I like to me, that's like first and foremost, like a great thing. And to be able to like go ⁓ in and out those spaces. Coach A: Yeah. Dr. D: A soft life is, you know, certain chores, certain household duties being not something I have to do. Like having some kind of, you know, housekeeper type situation. If I'm dreaming big, ⁓ just once a month, like nothing crazy, like maybe once a month, just to keep everything in order. Coach A: Mm-hmm. Okay. housekeeper. Once a month housekeeper, well you want like a Jeffrey Dr. D: You just once a month not like a not nothing crazy I know no no no no no no no like a every month or every two weeks they come in and do a little one two just to keep it normal you know stuff like that obviously trash I don't want to ever I don't really want to deal with trash ever what else would be a soft light for me I think having maintenance, having my like maintenance and stuff, like way I want it and having, having black practitioners for everything. Like, ⁓ do you think I was supposed to say? ⁓ I want, like I want my nail tech to be black. I want my, my hair, my hairstyles to be black. I want my waxer to be black. want everybody, like I want a black girl community. Coach A: I don't know where you was going with that. I don't know. I was scared. I was scared. ⁓ No, no, I got you, I got you, I got you. feel like that's not hard to find in Philly. Dr. D: Be for yourself. It's kind of, no, there's a lot of, yeah, there is. I just need to be, I think the question is, are they close or do I need to go all the way to wherever? Because right now I feel like proximity is a convenience. So it's like, I want somebody that's close to me or do I want somebody who's like, black? Coach A: I I'm not from Philly. I just feel like Philly was a place where... Yeah. What's considered far? Like if you live in, if you live in South Philly, what's considered far for you? If you live in West Philly, what's considered far for you? Sorry. Dr. D: Thank you. ⁓ Anything out of West Philly as far silly goose. Cause why would you say that if you live in South Philly? The saxophones, the saxophones just got louder and louder. The saxophones. Coach A: No shit! I'm sorry. ⁓ my god, bro! Dr. D: I'm sorry, scared me a little bit. But no, mean, honestly, no, no, no, no, no. Coach A: I almost lost my life. Dr. D: I'm good in every hood. Coach A: she ⁓ Dr. D: Maybe is that one of his lines? I don't know, I don't listen to him. Anyhoo how, I would say like 30 minutes, like a 30 minute drive is far. Coach A: Any who how Jesus Christ, okay. So yes if you if But what is that for people who are not from Philly like? is west philly 30 minutes south from north philly like Dr. D: Is Westphalie 30 minutes out from North Philly? Coach A: I know what saying, like what's 30 minutes? I don't know because it's not like that in... Like it's kind of like that in DC, but I feel like what you saying is a different level of that. Because for me, if I'm from Northwest DC, like it ain't really that much for me to go to Northwest. Like I do that, you know what saying? I wouldn't automatically be turned off. Dr. D: just feel like... Mmm. That's true. That's fair. And maybe that's just like a me thing. Coach A: That's what I'm saying. So like, is it... It's probably deeper. y'all sound like y'all be beefing for real. Dr. D: think? We don't beef with other places. It's just like, that's just out the way. Like, it's just very out the way when you have somebody that's closer. Coach A: Okay, so all that to say, you would want all of these people to be right there in West Philly. That would be your soft life. Dr. D: I don't know if my self-life exists in West Philly. Like, don't know if... I don't know. I wasn't thinking of it being here though. really wasn't. I wasn't. I'm like, why is, is Philly even matter? Why does the geography matter? Because I wasn't really envisioning this self-life taking place. Coach A: What is your soft life, Exit? No soft life is happening in Philly everybody. Dr. D: I feel like if I, no, I didn't say Philly, period. I just said West Philly. See how you do? Yeah. Like I feel like we could be, we can have a nice soft life in like a center city. Like we could be, we could be city girls for real. Like we could be downtown. Me and you, me and you, me and you, me you. And like a condo, condominium. Coach A: where's food? Okay, okay, okay, okay, so it gotta be like Okay, okay, so it's like okay, I see what you mean Dr. D: You know? Coach A: So like Philly, Center City, Philly specifically. Downtown like Chicago. Okay, okay. Deluxe apartment in the sky. Dr. D: Sinner City, I mean, I don't know, there's Pac- Somewhere like that. What you say, a deluxe apartment in the sky? That's what we need. That's what we need. Coach A: Moving on up. Low-key like that's that I'm I'm putting that in the universe. That's gonna be my next life I feel like I've done this suburban ish crossover suburban hood lifestyle You know Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You was very suburban. You don't even have a mirror. Coach A: Alright brother, god damn. You never knew your Dr. D: It just blows me cause how you don't have a mare like Coach A: Have a county ex- have a county executive. Dr. D: Like why don't you... But why you don't have a mare? Like... just so strange to me. Like the young mare, you like, don't have a mare. You don't have no Doug Dimmadome? Coach A: you Dr. D: Like who does the stuff? Like, I'm assuming he was the mayor. He probably wasn't even the mayor. He just was like rich, but he gives mayor. Coach A: You have no dog, Diffidove is crazy. God damn it all! Thank you and Oduck Demido. Dr. D: Any... You don't have no mare. Is he going to do Braedge of Scouts? Coach A: Yo, please you out of control Dr. D: Please you... Please you... Coach A: No, we don't have no Doug Demondon. So, but like... So yes, I play this with a mayor. I suppose. I suppose. Dr. D: Yeah. You need that. Coach A: Bunch more got a mayor but I don't wanna live there. Dr. D: What's wrong with Baltimore? Coach A: I didn't say anything was wrong with Baltimore, all I said was I don't want to live there. Dr. D: From what I remember, it was very fine, very, fine. Coach A: Okay, I'm sure that's what somebody that's from Philly said. I mean, that's not from Philly said that when they got there. They probably looked at parts of South Philly and was like, it's going to be fine. And meanwhile, you like, Dr. D: Philadelphia is a beautiful city. just think we were also just talking about this the other day. Like when you're from a certain place, like it's really hard for you to ⁓ Like you're loyal to that one place in the city. Like there are some people like who have lived every place, every place, or they like transplants or gentrifiers or whatever who just come here and they just go with the vibes. But I feel like where you're, where you're from, you pretty much kind of ⁓ into, stick in that bubble. ⁓ Coach A: You stick to that, yeah, you stick to what you know. Dr. D: Or you just move out of the city, period. Like I have lived outside of Philly, obviously. When I went to school and then when I came back and I lived outside of Philly, I moved out of the city. I didn't move to a different part of the city. I moved to the suburbs of the Philadelphia. Coach A: Yeah, you should. Dr. D: Yeah, I moved out there. So the way, yeah. Out way is the best way to describe it. And then I came very much back. Coach A: Out the way. Mm-hmm. He was like, nah, I can't go that far. Dr. D: It was too out the way. And also was like during COVID, it was just like, I was too far. It was too out the way. Coach A: so you had to go. Dr. D: But now I feel like I'm too close again. Coach A: You find me too close? Dr. D: can cartwheel to my mom's house. Coach A: Yeah, but when I go to Philly, feel like when I pull up, don't be like, I feel like it's to me as a person who don't live there or who's not from there, where you at in West Philly seems like the outskirts. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. yeah, it's like across the street is somewhere else. It's literally across the street is a different city. you ain't wrong Queen. Coach A: Yeah. Yeah. I'm never wrong. Dr. D: You're wrong sometimes. Coach A: Alright, not too much. Dr. D: Tell me, what does your soft life look like? What does Coach A's soft life look like? Coach A: know. Okay, so let me see. on what you, ⁓ on your, I'm taking the doctor's definition, the good doctor. My world also probably look like nice deluxe apartment in the sky or condo or something like that. Like that's, ⁓ that's really I want my next life to be. So that to me would be like, I'm talking like the nine, like the whole nine. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: valet trash like you know maybe they got a little store downstairs type you know i'm saying like that's the kind of life i think i want to live next i think i could share the same sentiment as you when you said like have somebody come in and just do a little one two every every two weeks or something like that you know i'm saying maybe got some stuff on like just ⁓ deliver like i'm getting all my groceries delivered Dr. D: Hmm. Coach A: Yeah, like, cause I don't like grocery shopping for real. Dr. D: Hmm. Coach A: ⁓ it like, now this gonna sound probably selfish and ignorant but like I don't mind like as far as doing laundry I don't mind like putting it in there washing the dryer like that that part I'll do but the folding That's the part that get me every time. Dr. D: Mmm. I can fold. Coach A: So, that's what saying. if had Kehlani, come pick up your, like, if I had somebody that hold my clothes up, like, you know. Dr. D: That's what you want. Mm-mm, you want to close folder. Coach A: But at that point, if you're going to follow me, you might as just do it. Dr. D: Mm. You in a long dress. Coach A: Yeah, I mean, yeah, hey, it's my life. Dr. D: You want a long dress? Yes, it's your self life. You do whatever you want. Coach A: So yes, that be my soft life. If I had like a mechanic or Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: where I can be like, yo, like I need an oil change, come. Dr. D: Pull up. Pull up on me. Coach A: come to that, yeah, pull up somebody like that. Yeah, know, make sure, you know, change the old, rotate the tires, like, you know what saying, do all of that. would also be part of my soft life. I was kind of living that life a little bit, but the dealership that I had, but, I got my car from, but. Dr. D: Mm. Mm-hmm. See, I feel like we're making steps. We're making steps towards the ultimate self-life. Like little by little. And I guess that's the best way to do it. Or that's a way to do it at least. Coach A: Yeah. But I think, I don't know, I think your life sounds lit. Excuse me, the way you described your life sounds lit because one of the things you said was that you want to be able to like flow in and out of these different spaces, doing what you love to do. maybe you were like a speaking engagement hero, you you teaching this day or you you it, you know what I'm saying? You got your own business. ⁓ that also sounds ⁓ a good soft life for me. Dr. D: Yeah. Coach A: I never thought that I would be a person who would just be doing that like nine to five and go every day. Even though I lived that life, I never thought that it would be best life for me. So if I could, like that would be the ultimate soft life for me would be to also do that, like float in and out of, like I'm doing something different every day. Or I got my hands in a bunch of stuff, like, you know, there's a bunch of machines around me. Dr. D: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. literal machines? Coach A: No. I'm saying like... ⁓ Dr. D: ⁓ I'm like, that doesn't sound very soft. That sounds very beep-boop-beep. Coach A: No. ⁓ it's like, you know, maybe I got a program over here running and I got this thing, you know what saying? Like it's a bunch of different machines. I got, you know, I'm the CEO of every of everything in a way. I'm a stakeholder in everything. Dr. D: Hmm. metaphorical machines, okay. Okay. And I love that. That'll I mean, you speaking it so it's bound to happen now. You said it out loud. Coach A: That was very corporate language I just used, I hated that. Dr. D: Very corporate. Yeah, I mean you said outputs like seven times already today. Coach A: Yeah, I feel. Yeah, that... You see, I'm brainwashed. Dr. D: Corporate brain rot is what you got. Coach A: corporate brain rot. Dr. D: It's okay, we'll bring you back. I said, it's okay, we'll bring you back. Decorporate, decorporatize you. Coach A: Yeah, man. Yeah, wish I would have had, I wish when I was working my corporate job, it was like Severance. Dr. D: Mmm, I haven't seen that but I know the concept I think you told me about this You have like two versions of yourself or whatever Coach A: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like version though, the person you are at work has no idea what's going on outside of work. Like that's all that is, they life, they just work, work, work, work, work. That's their life. That's all they know. And then the person who was on the outside, the Audi, so they call the person at work the Innie and they call the person who was outside of work the Audi version of them. Your Innie don't know your Audi, your Audi don't know your Itty. They just know that y'all exist. Dr. D: Mm. Mm. Mm. Coach A: Because your Audi knows that you just go to work every day and become this other person. Dr. D: Hmm. Hmm interesting that sounds like a horror it a scare it sounds like a scary Coach A: It's not scary. Dr. D: Hmm, it's not paranormal. Coach A: Nah, it's- no no no, it's not paranormal. If you haven't seen Severance on Apple TV, I encourage you to watch it. It's a good watch. Dr. D: Here, go watch. Coach A: Hey now. Hey now. Dr. D: You're an all-star. Coach A: I'm trying to one of parents who, you know that trend when they were post- they, like people our age were post- they parents and be like, my dad said he used to get the hoes back in the day. And then it'd be like a montage of the dad throwback pitches to, my heart. Have you seen that? That trend, I want to be the person who somebody Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ that's what you want. Yeah, I have, I have. That's what you want to do. Coach A: who my child would be like. Dr. D: I mean, you have thirst trap pictures. Coach A: That's my truth. I don't think any of those are thirst trap. Dr. D: I mean, no, cause they were picking 20 years ago, but do you have any pictures, like, do you have any pictures that you, of yourself currently that you like, that's put that in my montage? Well, gotta get this, flicking it up. Coach A: No, not on top of my head. Yeah, take more pictures. That's what Bad Bunny said. Dr. D: I be trying. I have, we don't need to talk about the pictures that I take. Coach A: Bye. Bad Bunny said, take more photos. I should have taken more photos. So take more photos. I kind of used it in. Dr. D: Take more photos. I try to lift that. Always capture that moment, even if you don't like it. Coach A: That's you know what though like this is nothing like walking at least for me. I speak for myself. I'm not saying this is everybody's feeling but When I walk in somebody house and I see that like I see a bunch of pictures like a bunch like maybe it's vacation pictures. Maybe like you know I'm saying but you could just tell when you walk in somebody else that they value that Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: value like capturing moments and stuff like that. Because a lot of people, especially at funerals and stuff, that's one thing that they, I just went to a funeral not that long ago for one of my former coaches, wrestling piece coach Walt. But one of men at his funeral said like, I wish we would have took more pictures. Like, you know, when ⁓ he passed I ain't seen him in a minute. And like, I really wish we would have just took more pictures. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: So, you know, I enjoy people. I think people who value that, it like, we tend to click. So that's a kind of one of the characteristics I look for in people. Dr. D: People take pictures. Coach A: Yeah, people who like which is ironic cuz like I don't even be taking pictures I don't take pictures like I gotta do better. Admittedly, I gotta do better but like if I remember like Cuz I do so in the moment. I feel like a lot of times like I just be I'd be in the moment I don't even be thinking about taking pictures ⁓ But like if ⁓ I had like a personal photographer, that's myself like personal goddamn photographer take pictures of the shit I'm doing Dr. D: I was gonna say like, you want people to do that. Mm-hmm. You do. You do. That's actually not a bad idea. I mean, you- Coach A: Like, I can't live and hold the camera. Somebody gotta tape this. Or whatever Drake said. I do got the GoPro, but that's still me! Dr. D: I mean you got the GoPro. Okay, fair. Coach A: It's still me doing it, like I can't live and hold the camera. Dr. D: You want a camera crew following around like a reality show. Coach A: I'm not saying I wanna be goddamn Kassanat, but I'm saying like, know, if just had a personal paparazzi. Dr. D: P.P. personal Papawans. I mean that sounds that sounds fun. That sounds lit actually if we could do that on the next trip Because I feel like you did we did vlog a lot if that footage will that footage be released TBD Coach A: We did! Maybe we'll release it on our YouTube channel. Dr. D: some clips, some highlights, the highlight reel of our five island, hopping. Coach A: some clips from vacation yeah ⁓ yeah, we were- ⁓ you talking about just that one specifically? ⁓ yeah, that- that trip! Dr. D: I mean, did you take the camera? I can't remember. Did you have to? Coach A: Yes! On the 10 day? Or the 12? Dr. D: The 12 day but then the other one before that. You didn't have the camera for the one before that. No. Coach A: I did but I don't think I recorded that much like I recorded a little bit Dr. D: Yeah, I feel like we recorded a lot on the last, the 12 day. We was mic'd up. yeah. We should do something with that footage. We should do a little something. Yeah, for the YouTube family. Coach A: ⁓ on the last- Hell yeah, we recorded so much. We was mic'd up- Yes, that was the first one we had mics, so like we was- exclusive exclusive clip on YouTube Yeah. Yeah, we're to do that. So if you're not subscribed, man, go subscribe. Get some of that beautiful beam footage. Dr. D: Where we go? Beautiful beam footage of what? St. Lucia, Barbados. Coach A: Yeah, Saint Lucia... What does it say? Lucia Grenada Barbados. Dr. D: St. Martin Antigua. You ain't gonna see nothing of Antigua though. Probably not. That ⁓ a bad day. That burnt me out before I even... That day was not, I wasn't feeling it. I personally, ⁓ I not feeling it that day. I'm sorry. Apologies. Coach A: same. Yeah, you know. That's it, what was it? Hmm, maybe it will. We ain't even we made it like 30 meters Dr. D: Not very far. That's it. Coach A: You should. Dr. D: I don't wanna be here anymore. But it was just exhausting. think I was, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. We'll try again. Coach A: I was like, damn, we didn't even explore. don't even know what that scene looked like. It's okay. It's okay. My ma's I had just did a drive by ANT, Dr. D: I'm sorry. I feel bad. Coach A: It's okay. I feel like I got proof, like I was there. I think we got pictures, like just on the pier. Dr. D: I think we got footage of that man rubbing me down with that aloe. You were there. you were recording. Why would you so like, disturbed? So friends, I had a sunburn and this lovely man called it out. He was like, you're burnt. And I was like, thanks. I know that. Coach A: I was good, my bad, my bad. I about I'm Dr. D: And he busted open the aloe plant and just proceeded to like... my shoulders are just burning thinking about it. And he just busted open the aloe plant and just started rubbing me down. And I'm like, all right. And she, what's she doing? Filming it, taking more photos. Coach A: you Dr. D: Like like like Bad Bunny says she's she's vlogging. I'm not gonna lie, I feel it did feel good though. It did help. It did help. But that did not help me being so overstimulated and leading to get back. Coach A: HOOH I say you We were just trying to shop. We were just trying to shop and he was like, you a burnt. Dr. D: He said, you burnt. was like, thank you. I had a good tan though. I had a good tan. I ⁓ very intent. Coach A: Your tan when you listen, you look like a- You was out there looking like a Teddy Graham, for sure. Dr. D: I was coming out them 12 days with something. I'm leaving here with something. I think I still have a bit of a tan line in places. That was a good tan. That was a good toasting. Coach A: ⁓ lasted for a little minute after that too. ⁓ Yeah! Good times. Shout out table 333. Dr. D: Mmm, love y'all. Love y'all, miss y'all. You made a whole, well, maybe one day we'll talk about it. That won't be like an official episode, probably maybe like a bonus. Cause I don't think anybody, yeah, our vacation. Coach A: of y'all damn. bonus what our our 12-dose voyage Dr. D: 12 day voyage. ⁓ our vacation shenanigans. Coach A: Boy... Well, just... Well, listen, y'all let us know if y'all wanna see it, man. I will give you the synopsis, I will give you the synopsis. So basically, we went on one of them cruises. It's a newer cruise-ish. I don't know. They started doing it last year with the adults only. Dr. D: Mm. Coach A: like adults only cruises on Carnival and so I actually had a free room or like a discount room or something like that to go on one of these adult only cruises and we picked one of the longest ones that during was 12 days and usually like I never been on a cruise that was longer than like eight days I think so like 12 that extra phone Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Can feel it? Coach A: You feel it. I don't know, at first I was like, ⁓ but we ⁓ going to five different places. Like usually on a seven day, eight day, you go to like three ports or whatever. But on this one, we was going to five. I was like, dang, five ports? And it was cheap, y'all. Like whatever you think it costs, it did cost that, I promise you. Like, and we had free drinks. We had a ball, but we had free drinks. And we also had upgraded dinner. So like, Dr. D: Mm. Mm-hmm. A ball. Hm, Coach A: If you've ever been on a cruise, you know, like you could eat on the Lido deck or whatever, like you could eat at the buffet. Dr. D: trough. Coach A: You eatin' Dr. D: That's another cruise, another story, another man. Need to draw. Coach A: where you eat at the trough or They have like a main dining room where like they seat you at a table like, you know They got a waiter. It's it's a whole they do the whole step. do step On this particular cruise we had upgraded dinner. So every night we would well Almost every night because we missed one dinner. But again another story That we have to tell Dr. D: Literally. Not the story. Coach A: But we had these upgraded dinners every single night and the food was good like it wasn't just your damn chicken tenders at the at the buffet or whatever that shit is like it was It was good. Yeah lobster unlimited though. Like you can get all the shrimp cocktails you want Lobster It's unlimited it's unlimited drinks unlimited, whatever the wine is which Dr. D: Oh no, it was lobster. was... Please. And we drank a bottle of champagne every night. Each. Coach A: They would always have like a wine, but every day they had champagne. Like every day it like a white wine or maybe it be a red wine. You know, something that's unlimited, bottomless. But at all times you can get this champagne. And boy, probably, October 53rd, 12 days, they probably had to re-up at one of the ports as much champagne as we were drinking. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. And boy did we. ⁓ man, I miss them. I miss them. They were our dinner buddies. It wasn't random. It was strategic. Coach A: They sat us at a random table. They sat us at a random table. They sat us at a table of people we didn't know. Like none of us knew each And it was big. It wasn't just like four people at a table. No, it was like 10 people at this table. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. 10 years. Coach A: So we sat down, I think in the beginning everybody was like. Dr. D: Hello, hi. Coach A: but we got to talk that first night we got to talk and I said that first night we did like eight toasts we was like fucking toast toast to you Dr. D: We're family, we're family now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Coach A: And then it just became a thing like, better be at dinner tomorrow night. And we made sure every day, every night we was on time. Dr. D: to be at dinner with our friends. Coach A: Yeah, we ended up ⁓ going on one of the excursions on the island together all of us. Yeah ⁓ Dr. D: We did too, we did St. Lucia together and we did St. Martin together. Coach A: It was some strangers. Dr. D: They're not strangers anymore. Coach A: That's right, there's no more, but... Dr. D: But yeah, we love them. Shout out to our cruise family. Coach A: Shut up y'all. Shut up y'all. If you catch us on a Carnival Cruise, say hi. Don't be creepy. Dr. D: Cause we will be on, we'll be on another one. And another one. And probably another one. Coach A: Mm-hmm. Listen, as long as they keep being free, I'ma keep goddamn going. Dr. D: Hello. Coach A: Already got me a cruise booked. Dr. D: our soft life. Just the ocean. Coach A: Just floating in the middle of ocean. Dr. D: It's so fun. You should try it. Coach A: Ain't nobody gonna bomb me out there. Mm, mm, mm. I asked myself life. Dr. D: Thank you for the synopsis. will have to drop some clip. I mean, we'll have, we should do something. We should share that. Coach A: go through some of videos and a little bonus content together. Post ⁓ them our YouTube. So be on the lookout for that. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: It was an adventure y'all. You don't wanna miss it. It was fun. It's funny. We had a ram and a bush. God is so good. God is good all the time. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. No comment. All time. That was good. I say God is good. Coach A: Mm-hmm. ⁓ yeah. Well, are you... far do you think you are from your soft life? Dr. D: Mmm. It depends. It depends. Cause like, what if I go to law school? Coach A: Then you go to law school. Dr. D: then that would put me a few years out. was talking to my mom about this today. I'm like, I should go to law school. And she's like, if you want. Coach A: What would you do with that? What would you do with the law? Like, what's your intent? Dr. D: And I said, I I kinda do one. Like education, law, or nonprofit law. Not like in the courtroom, but just like related things. Or not law related, education, nonprofit related things. Like an undergrad, I definitely pursued English as a degree because I wanted to pursue either education or law school. grad was this easier route. Coach A: Mmm. See ya. Dr. D: in education than pursuing law. And so I was like, I'll that route. But I don't know, something continues to call to me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I'll actually go for it or not. But it's a thought. It's a thought that I'm having. So I don't know. I would say three three to 10 years. Hopefully, hopefully before I'm 40. Coach A: retain you so you got time Dr. D: Hopefully. I got time. I'm not I'm not knocking on 40 yet or third. I'm not even not good on 35 yet Yeah, I'm gonna law school like it's hard Coach A: Yeah, you got time. Interesting. Dr. D: It probably is hard, I'm sure it is hard. Coach A: That's an interesting thought though, going to law school. Dr. D: What? Coach A: Do you think okay, so like if you do go to law school is you be? Dr. D: Mm. Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't think there's anything soft life about law school. I think it's locking in. I think law school is a big lock in, not a soft life per se. Like I think there are elements, those are things I could do to like maintain my sanity, especially cause I'm going through it at 30 something and not 20 something. I I have, would have a, I'm not saying that I am going, but I would have a different level of, I don't know. What's the word? Grounding? I don't know. When it comes to that, I think if I was in my 20s in law school, I might be quicker to crash out. But I think I've gone through so much already. Coach A: so, law maybe. Dr. D: Maybe. I'm just spit balling right now. Maybe I'll go back when I'm 50. Probably not when I'm 50. Coach A: doctor and Dr. J.D. Dr. D: But like if and everything but a driver's license. Coach A: So. Dr. D: I said that to my mom and she bust out laughing she was like you're funny. I said am I wrong? Coach A: Nah, I driver's license as a choice. Dr. D: Anybody can get one of those. Coach A: Sorry, SpongeBob. Dr. D: Please! Listen, I'm gonna get my boarding license one day. eventually Coach A: And... Dr. D: I had a traumatic accident. it scared me real bad. Coach A: Her soft life is going to include a chauffeur because Dr. D: No, I honestly, I think my soft life would include me driving because to me it's like, think I view it as something that stresses me out so bad. So to be able to like actually do it, I think would be indicator that I'm like living my best life. Cause that would mean I have overcome. ⁓ would mean I have overcome a lot because mentally it ⁓ really difficult for me to even think about it. Coach A: That's crazy. I hear you. Dr. D: It really stresses me out. Coach A: I hear you but listen if I had a chauffeur like chauffeur me me curbside service me everywhere you hit me like ⁓ no shame pick me pick me up Dr. D: Yeah, show for me. Yes, sure. Door to door. Door to door. Coach A: Yes, pick me up. I don't wanna- Dr. D: I mean, I guess technically I live that life now. Wank. Coach A: Yeah, I guess you do. Dr. D: Summon summon the chariot for a fee of course, but I think that's a blessing that I'm able to do that. Coach A: I don't disagree. me, I would love to that. Yes. Yes. But I think that that by default comes with the version of the soft life that I have for myself, which is to live that city life. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Uber everywhere. city life where that's like a thing, that's like a normal occurrence. Coach A: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, like for me to do that here would be goofy. Like, I to you, it would look goofy. Dr. D: You think? Hmm. Yeah, it's very normal. Like I think cities is like, it's a very, you don't need a car. You definitely, like many people do drive of course, like, but you very much can an entire life, a ⁓ and thriving life without ever having to drive if you really wanted to or. Coach A: which is wild. That's a wild concept. Like to anybody who's not from a city, that's a wild concept. And like the thing is I have concepts of both, but I spent majority of my life not living that, not living in a city. So it's like. Dr. D: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very interesting, very different. I know people who learned to drive or started driving at 12, 13, who lived in the South. To me, is a South to me. Coach A: But you, but it's crazy though, cause like one of the, one of the other podcasts I listened to, one of the, ⁓ the hosts is, a who lived in New York, all their life, that's all they knew. And they was willing to their thirties before they even got their license, like, or like late thirties got their license and then ⁓ moved somewhere, moved to Portland or something like that. Where it's like, ⁓ yeah, like you know, Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Yeah, to places where you gotta Coach A: She needs something to scoot and boot in. It's not as accessible as New York is. Dr. D: Yeah. Coach A: So I've like, I can see how somebody could go to a whole, not the whole life, but you know, they can go a long period of time, decades without driving because they never had to. And then like, if there was a situation where they did need to for, you know what I'm saying? Maybe they want to drive somewhere an hour away or something like that. Like, ⁓ you know, or go to the Poconos. I don't know. Then they'll run a car or some shit. You know what saying? Like they don't need, I don't know. Dr. D: Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there are people who go driving for fun like, ⁓ I'm gonna go on a drive this weekend, like just for the heck of it. Like, because you could have a car or you can not even have a car, you just rent a car for the vibes ⁓ like, ⁓ have a bunch of errands to do, so I'm gonna rent a car for this day and do everything I need to do. And then go back to my city girl lifestyle. ⁓ good. I like the option to like dibble and dabble. Coach A: Yeah, cause that's not the... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dr. D: Of I don't exercise that dabble, but I like that it's a necessity. Coach A: I would definitely get a driver. If I could get a personal driver, hell yeah. Dr. D: I mean, it's on the list then. Coach A: give me a black truck blacked out, escalate or something. Dr. D: Mm. Coach A: Mm-hmm. But, no, my list. Dr. D: We could do that. It's already on there. Coach A: Mm-hmm. Dr. D: speaking it, you're speaking it into existence. Coach A: Hell yeah. Get my groceries delivered. That's crazy, cause I feel like was living that life a little bit, but it was like, hello, fresh. Like I was young and... Dr. D: I loved my HelloFresh subscription. Coach A: The thing about HelloFresh is that like, had to, me personally, like, nothing came in my HelloFresh box that I didn't have to do something else to. Like, I always had to spruce mine up, like, add some seasonings or something like, for me. For me. Dr. D: ⁓ you always had to add a little. Interesting. Like, I mean, I did sometimes, but like, for the most part, my HelloFresh didn't do, did me pretty good. And there are some recipes that I still make to this day that like, Coach A: I would prefer just a chef. Dr. D: dear. Okay. ⁓ dear. ⁓ Coach A: dear. ⁓ would prefer a chef, honestly. Dr. D: Okay. Coach A: Like if somebody could be like, yo, got menu for you next week, Doug. And it's already done, but hell yeah. That, yeah. Dr. D: And this is already. That's what you want. A personal chef, a chauffeur, a laundress. Coach A: I guess I'ma be bad. I ain't gettin' left off bad and bougie sound like. Dr. D: You need a staff. You have a staff. Like you'll have, yeah, you'll have, you also probably have a house manager as well. Nanny. ⁓ The house manager manages all the house staff. Coach A: You need to stay. Nah, I'm the house manager. What does that mean? What does a house manager? Are you talking like... I'm just gonna ask you definition. What does that mean? Dr. D: Like, I think your house manager like manages all the aspects. Like they ensure the bills are paid. Like they're the ones who are like maintaining that. They're the ones who like, if you need a service, they're the ones like you say, house manager, I would like red roses out front and they will make it happen. Meaning they will either find somebody to do it. Like they would handle the hiring of whoever's landscaping. Coach A: ⁓ Yeah. ⁓ no. Dr. D: Like they would manage all of those contracts. It's a contract. It's a business transaction. it not? See? Law school. ⁓ Coach A: I don't know, like, I hear what you're saying, I guess I never really thought about that. Like, okay. Dr. D: I think if you're gonna have a staff of more, if you're have a laundry person and a chef and a chauffeur, you don't wanna deal with all those ins and outs. Like if the chauffeur calls out or is sick, then the house manager is, I'm just saying, you gotta think about that. If the chauffeur calls out or if the chef is sick, then you wouldn't wanna deal with all that. The house manager's job would be to be like, okay, back up chauffeur perhaps. Coach A: the show for calls out. Dr. D: Different car, perhaps, different chef, different menu. Like they will be the ones to manage all of that. Coach A: I say which is true. So I need HR. Dr. D: That would be your house manager. Coach A: house manager is HR, so the house manager can't call out. Dr. D: I mean they can but communicate with the house manager, the house manager communicates to everyone else. Like you might text him and be like, hey, I want Caesar salad. And then the house manager will be like, all right, she wants Caesar salad. or hey, I wanna throw a dinner party for 12 people, you would just tell that we would just have that one point of contact. And then. Coach A: I don't know if that would be a part of my self-life. Dr. D: dinner parties for 12 people. Coach A: I'm not having no dinner parties at my house. Dr. D: Why not? Coach A: feel like if I were to host something it wouldn't be a dinner party. Cause that sounds very formal to me. Dr. D: Okay kick back Coach A: There you go. Dr. D: Game night. Coach A: Yeah, something like that. I feel like when you say dinner party, it mean like... Sunday best. We eatin' at the dining room table. Yeah, cook out. Dr. D: Okay. Cook out. So something on the grill. Coach A: precisely. Dr. D: I'm just saying a house manager might be able to get you, get you right. Coach A: I feel like is an assistant like assistant Dr. D: Yeah, an assistant, for your personal affairs. Like could have an executive assistant that handles your business stuff and you can have a house manager who was like, who manages all the home stuff, the appointments, all the stuff. Coach A: Okay, if you had a life like that, right? Where you had a house manager and all the other elements of your soft life that you mentioned. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Coach A: If you had kids would that include a nanny? would- ⁓ that's- you- You don't need no nanny. Dr. D: I... would would accept to help. I don't know if it would be a nanny per se. Maybe. Maybe. I think what I value more is like, I don't know. I don't even know if I want to get into that. Maybe, maybe an edit. Coach A: Okay, I'm very curious by the way. Dr. D: Maybe in the end. about what I was gonna say. I feel like we could talk about that. Not on here. yeah, think we could talk about that. But I don't know. Maybe, maybe a nanny, perhaps. Maybe. Coach A: which was just over there the gears were turning Okay Understood? Maybe a nanny. I feel like you know if you if you were living this life, and I'm not playing devil's advocate to you life I hope it's not coming off like that. I'm just saying with the kind of you said was your software life which was or soft life which was a being to like Blank switch all the time like you know you may be maybe here you may be here maybe here right so like if you're doing all of that who Dr. D: Eww. Yeah, who's holding down the fort? You know what's crazy? of the things we're describing of like these services that we would outsource are just domestic labor, like just things that women would do on a day to day, like driving people back and forth, housework, laundry, parenting, baby, like child rearing as a native. Like these are all services that are things that women just do. it's paid, it's a service that you, that is a luxury to have someone to do these things for you. And it's just like, these are things that for generations women have just, black women, cause white women had black women to do it for them. So black women have always had to do it like for themselves and for others. So I don't know, I just think it's very, Coach A: Right. Dr. D: very interesting that like what we consider our ultimate soft life, a lot of it involves just having domestic labor taken off of us because it is labor. It's just very undervalued labor when we do it ourselves. Like all the things that make a house a home are things that you have to do or you have to do it regardless. Coach A: Yeah. I feel like I don't, have trust issues. Like I don't know if I could have a nanny just off the strength and I don't know you like that. And I feel like it's only so much you can get to know a person and like, if you interview with somebody, if you put out a critics list ad for a nanny, you probably gonna get a couple hits, right? And it's probably gonna be like either some older lady, it could be anybody. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: 16 year old, could be an 80 year old lady like, you gotta weave through to them, you know what saying? Dr. D: Yeah. think what I've learned my years in working with and seeing all types of nannies, a lot of the nannies that I've seen, I used to do baby story times and stuff. One of my first jobs out of college was early childhood literacy ⁓ stuff a library. And so I would do a lot of baby story times and it was Caribbean and Hispanic nannies taking care of ⁓ white the most part. would ⁓ my target audience at my story times or like the people who showed up. Those are not a target audience. Target audience were people were probably at work. But anyway, I think it's a very ⁓ weird dynamic, I think. is why I said maybe. Like I think, do want to say I won't accept help in caring for my child, children? No, I think everybody needs help. And you you should be able to trust that somebody else would do it or to, you know, be a part of your village in that way. But I'm hesitant to say yes, I would have a nanny per se. Coach A: You know what's crazy. You know what is also crazy. Cause you made a crazy point. I think for me, right? So like, ⁓ of the family that I come from and we're big, we've, we help each other. Like ⁓ we other people. Like it's very much, my family very much a community. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: We are large in number and large in heart. So to me, my first thought wouldn't even be like, oh, I probably need an A. If I'm you and I'm busy, I got a busy schedule and it's... I don't want to say unstable, because that's not the word, but it's so fast paced. You don't want a kid always in that. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: fast pace, you feel me? You want them to have stability and a routine. know what I mean? And sometimes if you want to go like that, those two things don't mesh well. And so I think for me, one of my first thoughts would be like, oh, I got to catch a flight to whatever and I'll be back in two days. But so and so got school. My child got school. I would be like, well, let me call my sister. Let me call my mom. Let me call... Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Coach A: I feel like I wouldn't necessarily need a nanny because I feel like I have the family where it's like if they understand the situation, it's always somebody who will be like, yeah, I'll make sure she gets to school. Yeah, I'll make sure they get to practice. You know what saying? Like all the things that I think a nanny would do, I feel like I would have. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. family. Coach A: family that could do that. And it's not one, like the same person doing it consistently per se, it could just be the community just. Dr. D: Yeah. I know, I think benefits. There's benefits ⁓ around. I don't think anybody wishes their kid had less ⁓ supportive adults. I ⁓ the the merrier, we need more. And I think the benefits a nanny, I don't know, I can't say if it outweighs or doesn't the ⁓ risks of having nanny. Coach A: ⁓ yeah, that's the problem. We need more. Dr. D: But like, I think some people that I follow who have nannies specifically get like a Spanish speaking nanny or like a nanny who speaks a different language so that their child can come up learning another language, which sets them apart, sets them on a different trajectory just off of the, off the rip of like having a nanny who only speaks in a different language to them so that they just get that exposure and just exposure to a different culture. Coach A: Yeah, yeah Dr. D: more like systematically so i think that could be good and then to have for them to have a consistent other person around them to say that having family members who are not the same person all the time is not a good thing i think you should know your family too of course but i don't know i know ⁓ we're all this about a hypothetical child that no that's okay Coach A: I know my bad, my bad. But no, I think what I'm gathering, because my engineering brain likes to give like a short definition of something. So to me, I guess I'll give more of a metaphor for it, right? Of what I feel like from this conversation, my definition of a soft life. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Coach A: So I guess the metaphor would be like, know how people, some people say that like they wish they could just have all their bills on pay. Like if I can get to the point where I make enough money and like I have this lifestyle that I want where it's like, I just set it and forget it. Like carnal out, insurance come out, like whatever, like take it. It's gonna be there, just take it. ⁓ Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Coach A: It's almost like some stuff is on autopay in your life, right? maybe you got, like I said, somebody bringing groceries, that to me is like recurring. Like, you know what I'm saying? Make sure it's spices in the cabinet. sure, you know I'm saying? Like, I don't know. Am I making sense? I feel like I'm trippin'. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. I think it's having parts of your life on auto pay basically like auto renew auto Coach A: Yeah, like you don't like and so so you can just be on autopilot Dr. D: so that you can just be in the moment and not have to think about all of the other little details that people stress about. Yeah, you're living in the moment. You're not thinking about what's due, what's this, what's that. It's not even a factor. just happens. It's just on the schedule. Coach A: Yeah, you living? Yeah, because I feel like low key, most people, ⁓ like... doing that, but they also playing firefighter at the same time. Like there's little fires in their life that they gotta always like put out, you know what I Or manage, the situations they always gotta manage on the side. Like, you know, if you had a firefighter, like if you had firefighters for you. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Coach A: Like you'll never have to do, you'll never have to fight the fire. You you pay somebody else to do it for you. Dr. D: You just throw money at the problems and then the problems disappear. You throw money at them and they disappear. And that's a soft life. Coach A: And they disappear. period. claim that for me. It's enough going on in the world. Dr. D: and me claiming for both of us. Yeah. Coach A: It's already hard enough being black in America. Dr. D: More friends. Coach A: that concludes another riveting episode of the unofficial transcript. I'm curious to know what other people's definitions of soft lives are. I am curious to see what other people's, like what their versions of the soft life look like. Because they could probably be very much different. Like I feel like there's a variety of soft lives out there. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Let us know. Graham, let us know. What's your soft life? I know you're gonna comment. What's your soft life? Tell us. Tell us in the comments. Can't wait to read them. Coach A: Wish I saw a fly Heck yeah. appreciate y'all tapping in with us again. It's now March, it's fake spring here in the DMV. Dr. D: The wood rice is out. The, the ni-i is out. It's spring. It's spring. Spring is sprung. Coach A: Six o'clock, boys, is out. ⁓ Nah, like we, it's always, it's always fake spring here in the DMV where it's like, it's like this. I actually think Friday is supposed to be like 40 degrees. Like it's not going, it's supposed to be like 30 something. Dr. D: Mm-mm. Coach A: Friday so it's like this is fake spring. I always do this. It's the weather broke people outside shorts t-shirt Then in two days they put the heli back on. They put the Montclair back on. Dr. D: Yikes. Yikes. hopefully it just stays nice. Coach A: We get all four seasons in a week, man, over here in the good DMV. But wherever you are, I hope you dress accordingly for the weather. Hope you don't get sick. Take your allergy medicine. Dr. D: Please, please do. Coach A: Take your allergy medicine, make sure you stocked up on that. Put that on auto, subscribe or whatever on Amazon or whatever your choice. I don't know. Make sure it's recurring. You don't want to be caught without your Zyrtec. Dr. D: Mm-hmm. Orbenadrone, or Allegra, Flonase. I know what your poison is this season. Sometimes you gotta switch it up. Claritin, Loretidine. Coach A: or Benadryl, whatever it is. Dr. D: Sometimes you gotta switch it up. Coach A: Sometimes, sometimes, but yeah, we're here in March. The ears. See, the ears to music going fast and slow at the same time. Dr. D: It's already marched which is crazy. Coach A: is already March. is crazy, we're already in our third month of this podcast, that's super wild. That's wild. Happy three months. Dr. D: That is crazy. Aww. Coach A: We're about to get out of our first trimester. Dr. D: love that. That's so cute. Coach A: Mm-hmm. We appreciate y'all. Apparently we are growing. So welcome new audience. ⁓ Hope you enjoying the ride so far. Dr. D: Ni hao. Coach A: And ehow it's crazy. Dr. D: Welcome. Coach A: But you know, did find out before we started recording that we have some overseas listeners in countries we never expected to be in, like Sweden and... Dr. D: Yeah. Coach A: places that show not be named I guess. Dr. D: Yeah, shout out to y'all. Coach A: Shout out to y'all. Shout out to y'all. Dr. D: Well... likes, comment, subscribe. Coach A: Heck yeah. Everybody stay prayed up, stay blessed up. God is good. We'll holla at y'all. Dr. D: Bye.