Paloma: Hi everybody, welcome to the In the Cortex podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Paloma. This is Danielle. Hi Danielle. Today we're gonna be talking about our programming and how strong the programming is that we get from society, from our parents, from things that we've lived through and how it really does shape the way that we look at everything. And we've been talking, we really wanted to talk about this because we've been talking about this this week. Hi and welcome to the In the Cortex Podcast. We are your hosts.

Danielle: I'm Danielle Perrecone Bye.

Paloma: And I'm Paloma Garcia and we are the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people the tools they need to change their lives through brain reorganization. No medication, just movement.

Danielle: And when you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. And now on to today's episode.

Paloma: talking about the way that people look at school, the way that people look at parenting, and the way we look at ourselves. And actually, right before we started recording, had a moment that was very just perfectly illustrated this. So please share.

Danielle: ⁓ 100%. So it's funny because we were just trying to talk about how we're to land this idea of the programming piece and how does it apply to everyday life. And then I was talking about like, ⁓ yeah, we're about to hit record. And I was like, ⁓ I have no makeup on. I'm not even camera ready. And she's like, I love how you sent me a message last night saying we're recording the podcast and be camera ready. And I was like, that is so funny because I literally told you to do it and I didn't do it myself. catching myself do a lot lately. ⁓ And it's good feedback. This is now like the second time that this exact example of like telling someone to do something and then they do it and then I did it and I was like, ⁓ what's that? There's some programming there. But the other part was the realization was like, ⁓ my gosh, I used to never be able to talk to people, go out in public, or be on a camera without having makeup on. And I just thought that was like so

Paloma: That's interesting too. Yeah, for sure. Hahaha

Danielle: funny and realized like, my gosh, where did that even come from? Programming. And my son yesterday, he was actually really anxious and like, let's go, let's go, mom, hurry up, let's go, let's go, we got to get to school because he always likes to get early so we can get there early so we can play. he's like, you don't need makeup because I was like, ⁓ I still need to go finish getting ready. And he's like, you don't need it. Like, you're fine. I was like, ⁓ are you saying I'm beautiful naturally? And he's like,

Paloma: programming. play, of course. Thanks

Danielle: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Let's go. Like, obviously, he doesn't care. And I was like sitting there going, wow, that's so funny. And then I was like, oh, but I do have a meeting later. was like, I'm just going to put all the touches on. And I'm like, we, like I needed to put on mascara. And I was like, but this is actually crazy. Like just the idea of wearing makeup in general. Like, what?

Paloma: No. girl, I think it's, it's so funny because I have just we'll go back to that. But I had the opposite programming for so long. So I used to love putting on makeup, blah, blah. And then I got to this moment where I was like, mad at the world probably mad at myself is when I was in Spain, like a little bit before that was New York to I stopped wearing makeup completely. I wouldn't put anything on my face. And I was like, I'm pretty, like don't need to put anything on, which is true, like good for you girl, right? But then it got to a point where it's like, sometimes I would actively like look sick, like ill. Then I wouldn't like put a little bit of blush here, you know what I mean? And so, and it got to this point where I just stopped taking care of myself. My hair was a mess. My body, I gained so much weight. I was not.

Danielle: Hmm.

Paloma: I literally went through a point where I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror in like a year probably. so this was the other side, right? So I went from one extreme to the other. right, which we always do. And it's funny because this, sorry, last year, 2025, I started wearing makeup again and I was like, ⁓ it's not that bad. Like it's not a bad thing to want to look cute, right? So it's kind of this whole like...

Danielle: So there's the other side of the programming. Which we do. Mm-mm.

Paloma: It's just this balance. like, why are you doing it is the main thing. Do you want to look in the mirror and say, cutie patootie, bye? If you can do that without makeup one day, I do it all the time. Like yesterday, the day before yesterday, I didn't wear anything. It was great. But sometimes you're like, I want to give myself a little bit of this, a little bit of that, know, whatever. And.

Danielle: Mm-hmm. Thank you.

Paloma: I think that's great. But I think when it comes to the point of like, oh, I have to wear it. If nobody can see me without my makeup, I think that's where you were feeling like you had to hide who you actually are and the way you actually look. And that's not cool. That's where the issue is. Right. The issue is not in the makeup or on makeup because I just, I also always think it's so cute that we humans put makeup on. We're like, Oh, Oh, I'm going to, I'm going to go put my paint on my face. You know, and like the fact that we like.

Danielle: ⁓ my god, there's literally... Yes! No. Let's paint my face.

Paloma: get like dressed up when we go to like a party and we're like, I just gotta go put on my nice clothes. Like we're so cute. How adorable. The fact we have a paint on our nails that our hands are prettier, like that's adorable. Or like earrings in our ears, come on. It's so cute. Like it's just adorable. Yeah.

Danielle: Right. That is. Yeah. I mean, some of us do. Yeah. Well, yeah, it is adorable. And you think back to like, this actually is crazy. We should do a little history deep dive on this because I remember like the ancient Egyptians would like decorate themselves. So know it's a very cultural thing, right? But I do think that's where again, finding the balance and to be honest with you, my kids were just in right on cue.

Paloma: Yeah.

Danielle: My kids were just in a little bit of a tiff this morning about a Lego situation. And again, coming back to the brain work, I was able just to stay so calm and so regulated. was able to like, first my daughter was upset because she did get a little bit of a pinch from her brother because he was frustrated that she touched his new Lego set that he just got. so I can see where they both were coming from, but I calmed her down. And then I was sharing with my son, I was like, listen, Legos are great. and they're really awesome. Just like playing a video game or watching TV or watching a movie is awesome. But when you become so hyper-focused and obsessed about it, and if someone comes in and distracts you from it, and then your reaction is to be aggressive, that's where it's a problem. And it comes back to balance. And so I was like, look at everything in nature. It's completely balanced. You have the sun and the moon. You have light and you have dark. And I just kept giving more examples of like how there's natural balance everywhere we go.

Paloma: Exactly.

Danielle: But if you become so locked in, could you imagine if we just had the sun all the time or just the darkness all the time? And there are countries, like Iceland, when I went there once and it was dark, it was light all the entire day. And I was like, this feels so weird. But generally speaking, then in the offset of Iceland in the summertime, then it's dark all winter. So that's very strong contrast of some ballads. But my point is this.

Paloma: Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah, talk about contra.

Danielle: It's always about how do we go about life so there's balance? And that's what I just realized about talking about the makeup was I wasn't balanced before on accepting myself and just being okay with who I was. And I know it's crazy because like Pamela Anderson right now is making headlines for not wearing makeup. And it's like, that is what's getting a headline? Are you kidding me? Like, they're like, we didn't embrace your natural beauty. They're like, you go girl, I'm not gonna do it. And it's like,

Paloma: See you soon. Yeah. Thank you.

Danielle: What if all of us just started stepping into the space where like sometimes they wore it and sometimes they didn't, so it's no longer a headline. It's just a preference. It's just like a thing, right? Because it is such a society's way of programming us women that we have to look a special way in order to be accepted, right?

Paloma: Yeah, yeah. And it's funny because you don't even question it. Like sometimes people wear their makeup the same way for 25, 30 years and maybe it doesn't even look that good anymore, right? But they're like, okay, I gotta put it on. I gotta do my same exact routine. So it's literally a mask that you're putting on against the world, against society, against anybody judging you or looking at you. I think it's the ultimate example of...

Danielle: Thank you. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Paloma: Sometimes when you don't wear makeup and nobody notices, and then you do and nobody notices, you're like, ⁓ that's all the same thing. Like, it doesn't really matter, but that's the point. Like, do it for yourself when you wanna look a certain way, when you wanna wear this type of lipstick or this type of whatever, right? And I think that that's also like, all, you know, it's like the thing where you feel like you have a pimple on your forehead and you think everybody's looking at the pimple. And so...

Danielle: ⁓ yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, everyone's a cannon. And they probably are, but they don't care, right? Yeah.

Paloma: Yeah, or they're not. sometimes, like, genuinely, so many times I have friends that'll be like, ⁓ my God, please, or like in TikTok videos, people are like, please ignore the state of my hair. And you're like, I didn't look at your hair. I was looking to what you were saying. Like, so we do that thing where we, like, we gotta, we gotta beat the other person. Like, I know I'm aware, I'm aware that there's something wrong with me, okay? So I'm telling you. And so I think the makeup is that thing too, right? Where it's like, I know that there's something wrong with me, so I'm gonna be preemptive and put this thing on so that

Danielle: I didn't even look at it. Yeah. Yay! ⁓

Paloma: you don't tell me anything about it, right?

Danielle: Hmm. Yeah. And you're just not being authentic to who you really want to be. And I just had this thought come into my head because I was like, wow, I really like just I'm like I'm going some sunscreen on and walk outside and be super confident in who I am. I could have not done that. Like I didn't feel like I was able to be fully confident without putting on some mascara and like putting on some foundation. And now I'm like I'm really in this space and I don't know if it's because I turned 40 and then I just turned 41 and I'm like hitting this different era of my life. But I'm really, and I know I've done a ton of reconnects and I'm like, I really don't care anymore. Like I don't care to please you. It's the people pleasing era stuff. That was like the codependency that really shifted my whole entire life. And I do think that that also transferred over at the same time.

Paloma: Yeah. Yes.

Danielle: to that's why I stopped participating in certain things that society accepted and think is great. know, like drinking, for example, like we're both sober and people often ask if we're sober because we're so silly. Like they actually think we're on something all the time. And I'm like, we're on live, love. Like, have you ever heard of it? That's real life. And I just thought about like, it's crazy that we, but I think collectively people are starting to shift this. So it's not just you and I talking about it.

Paloma: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you like to have a little bit it. ⁓

Danielle: I do think that for you and I, it's become very effortless because we have the reconnects and tools to back and support it. And so that's where I see myself just stepping into more of an authentic version of who I want to be and saying no to the people pleasing and also just questioning and being like, where did this program come from? Why? Yeah.

Paloma: Yeah. Yeah. Where did this idea even come from? I think that's the main thing. And that's like what we really want to talk about today is like we have to question them because if not, we're just going through life with these programs and with these things that we don't even look at. And like you said, people really are looking at this stuff nowadays, which is amazing. And I do think that there's like, like you said, there's truly like a revolution happening and people being like, whoa, this is amazing. Right. And so I think it's so exciting to now look at your programs and be like, I never thought of this that way. today, I was at the preschool today with the kids and we're literally in the middle of the forest. And so the whole activity today was to make mud and get in the mud and put their feet in the mud and their hands in the mud and everything in the mud. And they actually found some mud before we even made it. They were like mud city, baby. They were into it. And so the parents were like, oh, you're really gonna get dirty. I was like, yeah, but.

Danielle: Do I want that? Mmm. Turn.

Paloma: That's the point. Like that's really why you signed them up for a forest preschool and not they're not sitting in a room with fluorescent lights on their face, right? And they're like, ⁓ you're right. You're right. And I was like, you probably have a change, right? Cause this child is a year and a half. They're like, yeah, was like, cause maybe you can change it before you put them back in the car. okay. Yeah, you're right. That's fine. And then, and the kids, kids don't care. They're literally less than two years old. So they're like, whatever. But I think it's just, this tiny little thing that how cool is it that they're giving this kid a different program already? Like, yeah, I get dirty and then I change. What's the big deal, right? Like I know at least in Mexico, it's a big thing to have the kids be like super like their hair is always perfect and they're really put together and they have these really cute outfits. like, I think in the US people don't care about that stuff as much because there is more of that like depends definitely, but a lot of people are more free with that. But in Mexico, people are like, ⁓ my kid has to be like perfect and like.

Danielle: Mmm. Yeah. put together, yeah. Mm-hmm. depends. Yeah. Yeah.

Paloma: gel in the hair, you know, like this and so I think, you know, and it was cool to see these parents be like, ⁓ you're right. It's actually not that big of a deal because it's a kid.

Danielle: Yeah. Because yeah, and it looks, because when we're walking around with our kids perfectly matched and monochromatic and all the thing, like, and I look at kids outfits today, like some of them on like Instagram, I'm like, would that child pick that out of the closet? Absolutely not, right? That is 100 % the parent coming through and being like, this is what you need to wear. I let my kids get dressed all the time because I love that they pick random stuff. But I used to care. I used to, I look back at their baby pictures. I was like, ⁓ my gosh, their outfits were so cute.

Paloma: Yes! ⁓ my god. Cool. ⁓ my god, yeah. ⁓ cute.

Danielle: And now I look at them and I'm like, was that clean? Like, did you, was that a clean shirt or are you just gonna put it on? And I'm like, but this is where they get to learn their self-expression. And just to speak on what you said about the parents, because I know that feeling and I think the program here for parents is that we're so tired. And I wanna say you are so tired when your system is completely working harder than it needs to and it's overworked.

Paloma: Yeah.

Danielle: I used to be the parent that was like, don't get dirty because then that's more work for me. I'd have to clean you up and do all this stuff, and I don't have the time and energy for that. The minute I was able to get myself out of survival and the minute I was able to actually start working through my programs of what's more important, having a clean organized house or having a happy kid that got a lot of sensory experience, you know? And so when you start to really question your programs and question why you think this way, you're going to be surprised.

Paloma: Yeah, that's it, exactly. Exactly.

Danielle: that like, wait, these aren't serving me. They're not serving my kids. And this is not what I want to pass down to my kids. I catch myself so many times in the minute of like giving my like amazing spiel to my kids of like why we don't do something. And then I hear like my mom and dad coming through and I'm like, and then I like immediately shrink back into like thinking of little Danny and she was just like, but guys, like, can't you just let me be like, just let me be a free kid, you know? And so this is where we do have to just

Paloma: thousand prisoners. Yeah.

Danielle: be so aware of what we're giving our kids because, and not to the point where now you're hyper-focused and now you're like, you know, swinging the pendulum and you can't say anything, right? But it's because, and I just had this thought yesterday, I texted it to you this morning where I was like, or I had the thought this morning and I was like, man, instead of saying like that's a nice set of genes that that kid got. wouldn't it be cool for like, that's a nice set of programs that that person got. Like that parent was so aware and mindful and was able to be so just and not cautious, but just mindful of what they were doing and saying so that way their kids had less work to do. Because let's be real, we've done a lot of work, man. Like we've done a lot of work on ourselves. This is no shade to our parents because they didn't know at the time. But

Paloma: Definitely. Yeah.

Danielle: Well, let's make easier for our future generations to not have to work until they're like 40 years old to be like, I'm not going to wear makeup now. Like, come on.

Paloma: Yeah, totally. 100%. And I do see that happening. It's really something that's shifting. And I think that as a group, that's also what helps us understand each other. So I think it's so easy to just go with the flow because that's what we're meant to do as animals is to kind of just go with the flow and join the group. You don't want to stick out because then you're easy prey for the predators. We talk about this all the time.

Danielle: Yes. Mm-hmm.

Paloma: it's taking on these programs and these expectations from society, society's expectations may be wrong as they're. We take them on because of that. And that's why we don't question them. And I think the difference that's happening now is that we start to question them, right? And some people don't, and that's fine too. Like if you're not ready to question it, don't question it. Go with your, your life, right? And it's really cool that now,

Danielle: You Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Paloma: we get to kind of like connect with people. in a way that's much more authentic to everybody, right? So when you're starting to look at this stuff, then you're like, oh, wait, no, these are my programs. Wait, no, these are my beliefs. And so you connect with other people that have those beliefs too, right? And like, doesn't mean you have to have 100 % the exact same beliefs as everybody that you hang out with. Actually, that would make for a very boring life because you wouldn't have any contrasts and anything different, right? And, you know, some people do get more, give more importance to one thing than the other. But I think that's where like,

Danielle: Mm. Mm-mm. Yeah, exactly. ⁓

Paloma: taking it with a grain of salt is really important. Like anything you see that people are starting to do online, and this is important for everybody, but especially for teenagers, for people that are starting to get, kids are starting to figure out who they are and understand those beliefs and those values for themselves. I think it's so important that.

Danielle: Mm-hmm.

Paloma: they have that safety in themselves and in their own family to be like, am I gonna do that or am I gonna skip it? Is this part of who I am and who I want to be or do I skip it? And I think that's where a lot of it comes from for us is that we were just doing whatever everybody else did. And so, or people of our generation, I should say, mostly, obviously not everybody, but there's like that, okay, everybody's doing it. I'm just gonna do it. And you just don't question things.

Danielle: Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Paloma: And later you're like, ⁓ I can't believe I've been doing that since I was 16 or thinking that since I was 14 or whatever. And it's often because of that, right? And so it's just so like thinking of these little kids that are in the preschool, in the forest preschool, like what their life is gonna be like when they're older is like so amazing because their parents are already just like opening the kids minds so much and opening their own minds so much.

Danielle: Now. Hmm. Yeah. I love that. And I think that's what our goal here is in the cortex is just to give parents this like, and sometimes parents are like, ⁓ my gosh, it's too late. I didn't do it in my kids 10 or ⁓ my gosh, I missed my window. And there is a more ideal, efficient window to get this stuff in, but it's never too late. It's never ever too late because there's things that like I look at and I'm like, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to go do that thing.

Paloma: Yeah, me too!

Danielle: at that time or my child wasn't ready. So whenever you hear this information now, it's like this is your, if it's resonating and it's hitting you in a space where like, ⁓ my gosh, I fully align with what you're saying, then that's your sign you're ready and you're ready to go do something about it. The amount of people that purchase our program, because they have that desire that they're like, I really want the change. And then they purchase it then they wait six months and they're like, okay, now I'm ready to dive in or maybe they wait two years. We hear this all the time. I've had your program just like sitting in the back of my mind for two years and I finally felt that urge to be like, okay, I'm ready now. And it's so important you listen to that readiness because if not, then it's like you're grabbing onto something and you're working so hard to try to get something to shift when it's like, it's just not ready yet. And that's the bottom line. So if you're finding yourself being ready to start looking at the programs, I love our process because

Paloma: thousand percent.

Danielle: I don't know anybody else that's doing it the way we are where it's literally taking yourself through a process and realizing what the route, what's the driving force of this program. And we could take the simple one of like putting on makeup because we talked about that already and Pallom already nailed it. It was like, well, why are you not just accepting yourself for who you were? Why were you not authentic to who you were being? And then also feeling you had to put a mask on. So then we teach you how to muscle check. define what is the root, what is the actual program you have in place. And ironically, I did with my kiddos, my school kiddos yesterday, we did I accept myself as our reconnect yesterday. Yeah, I just realized that. And so that was like, and I was like telling them like, all this acceptance stuff. And I feel like a lot of times I'm talking to myself because I'm like, you guys, like we're doing this, but clearly I need it too.

Paloma: ⁓ interesting. Wait, that's crazy. ⁓ Yeah, clearly.

Danielle: And so then we do the reconnect for it. And then all of a sudden you just like notice that you get on camera the next day and you're like, ⁓ I didn't need makeup. And that's how it weaves into your life. And you just notice that like things are just easier. And how many times do you and I go, that is insane how I ever used to think that.

Paloma: Yes, ⁓ my gosh, we think this all the time. I literally will look back a year ago. I'm like, what? She thought that? Whoa, that's bonkers, bro. Like genuinely, no judgment to my own self, but like, girl, glad I'm here now. Like it's so interesting and it's so, but again,

Danielle: Yeah. Yes.

Paloma: it's gonna happen tomorrow, I'm gonna look at me today, be like, what? Like, you were thinking that? Like, it's so funny. And I think that's the main thing that we do is we take it all very lightly. Like, it's very, we give it levity because some of this stuff can be really, really, really profound, really deep. And it is some serious stuff, right? And a lot of that, you know, not accepting yourself, like right now we're talking about makeup and it might seem like something silly, but it's something really profound in your day-to-day life, in your actual DNA, right? And so,

Danielle: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Paloma: and it can start to translate to all these different parts of your life and of your world and of your relationships and of your work and of whatever. So I think something that we do is we encourage people to just take it lightly when you can and do what you can, right? Because I think that's another piece that, again, it's society's expectations. I have to do everything. I discovered this new program. I know I have a disorganized brain. Now I have to do.

Danielle: Yeah.

Paloma: I love my program, blah, blah, we were talking about this in the last podcast, I think, where it's like, people reach out to us and be like, I'm such a bad student, I'm so sorry, please don't hate me. like, I love you. Just because you're listening to this, I love you, okay? Please listen to yourself, listen to your guidance, listen to your own body, because I don't have your body, I don't have your brain, I don't know what's going on there. There's no pressure on our end to do it. What we want is for you to be able

Danielle: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. to them. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-mm. Mm-hmm.

Paloma: to sit with yourself and feel out, okay, this is the route for me, this is the route for that, now I'm gonna go do this. Go back to basics, go back to that intuitive feeling because again, we're animals. A mama orangutan isn't like, ⁓ wait, let me see what the other mama orangutans do. Am I cool to hang out with? Okay, maybe a little bit, but not in like.

Danielle: Right.

Paloma: the biological things that they do with their babies, like the way that they go and get food. I mean, they just do what they do because they're following their intuition, right? And of course, it's part of our lives to want to belong to a group because we're in a society and we live in communities and that's fine, right? We are animals, right? So that's what I'm saying. It's like the orangutan obviously wants to be a part of their community, but ultimately all of this comes down to you being able to just live the way that we're all intended to live.

Danielle: with me. because we're animals. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Paloma: Is it gonna be 100 %? No, because the society is cray-cray and like the way that we've evolved and technology and all the things that are happening around us is way more than our brain is designed to handle. But that's why we need this more than ever right now. We need this bandwidth more than ever. We gotta use all of the tools that we possibly can to be able to handle all the things that are going on in our lives right now. You know, and we've talked about this before. in today's world, we will hear the same amount of information in one day than people used to hear in their whole lifetime or learn in their whole lifetime 500 years ago. So just that, right? Leave the screens to aside technology, all this stuff, just the amount of information that we have, right? Through the screens and the technology. that is just so, so enormous and it's so much more than our brain is designed to handle.

Danielle: That's crazy. That's crazy. Right.

Paloma: That's why we encourage everybody to use their tools, right? And to be able to be their own captain in terms of how they help themselves and how they set themselves up for success and for being themselves in this world. Because we need to stop outsourcing everything, right? That's why we say you have the tools, we're just showing you how to use them. Take them, use them, grow your bandwidth, live your life. That's gonna be our new motto.

Danielle: We'll think, yeah. Right. No. Mmm. Yes, write that down. No, but it's so true because if you don't have tools, you revert back to these survival mechanisms. And the survival mechanisms aren't that great unless you're in a true survival situation. And in today's world, most of us are in a true survival situation. I'm emphasis on most of us, okay? I know there's a lot of, know, nuances within all the stuff that's happening in the world today. And I also wanted to say that if you are always reverting back to these survival mechanisms, like so for mine, I would just cry. Like mine was crying, it cried about everything. And I would just freeze and I didn't know what to do. So then I would always have people step in and tell me what to do. And so then I relied on this sense of like, well, I don't know what to do. And I didn't have an intuition that was ever connected to anything that was truly who I wanted to be.

Paloma: Mm-hmm.

Danielle: because I was always told what to do. People always telling me my reactions were not okay. And so I was so freaking lost. And so when we're navigating through this world now, the amount I can feel myself so different in my body is crazy. And I used to always think like, I'm super connected to my body, but now even more so I'm like, I am so connected to who I am. And I know that someone's outside opinion is not gonna influence me anymore.

Paloma: Mm-mm. Hmm.

Danielle: And that was a really big breakthrough moment for me in this journey, was just not caring what someone else thought about me and realizing that whatever they had to say about me was just a reflection of them, because that's what I would do to somebody else, right? Like, you know, any judgments we give to people is really a judgment about ourselves. And so once I had that realization, and I was able to just like not care anymore, I noticed how secure I felt in myself. And that was safety, right? So it's like, I'm actually feeling safe in who I am. And then now I notice so many people and it seems to be this really crazy theme in my life where so many people are telling me how insecure they are or they're showing me how insecure they are. And I think you can just watch someone in their behaviors and just see like all the insecurities they have or they're like caring if that person said something a specific way. And I notice the amount of times now where I'm in a situation, and I used to do this a lot. I mean, even like last year I would still do it. And I was like, God, that person was so rude to me. ⁓ And they're like, no, they really weren't. And I was like, ⁓ that was just my take. OK, got it. But ⁓ I notice now when people were in the same situation, they're like, ⁓ my gosh, that was such a blah, blah, blah scene. And I was like, I don't know. I didn't feel that. Like, I actually didn't feel that. And I'm like, but it's because now I've never been more connected to myself and my intuition and my inner guidance. And before I used to have to rely on the experts because I didn't know what the heck was happening in me. And so that's what this program is designed to do is to help you peel back the programs that are not trusting yourself, not letting you have that true instinctive. This is my next step. And then trust if you have a spiritual practice, trust something that's bigger and better than you to like help guide you along the way. And that is where I find myself finally able to accept all of the inner knowing and not needing to call Paloma every five seconds. Like, do you think this is what I should do next? And now I can just tell Paloma, I'm probably going to say this one thing, but I'll probably change my mind in like five minutes because I like to change my mind all the time. because I like to go off of vibes and like things are shifting constantly and there's new information coming to me constantly. And I like to just be like, okay, now I'm feeling this way and now I'm feeling that way. But knowing that about myself and knowing that I like to be in the flow is something that used to be like, I would get in trouble for it. People would literally be mad at me for changing my mind all the time. And I was like, I get it. It is annoying for a lot of people, but it's not being true to me if I don't listen to that, you know? So I think that's what this whole process is, is learning how to really get in touch with ourselves and our intuition. And I just think it's amazing. We're in such a cool time where so many people are doing this. Like it's not just us anymore. And it never was just us, but it felt like us for a long time when we would talk about what it was like to shift and organize your

Paloma: Yes.

Danielle: saying it's such a beautiful time to be alive right now where there's so many people having these conversations and it feels like we are all on this amazing journey together. It's no longer the crazy woo-woo people thinking like energy something. It's actually like becoming more normalized and to have this conversation and have this podcast is amazing. And I love in the Cortex tools because they're applicable and they're practical and four-year-olds can do them. Two-year-olds can do them, yeah.

Paloma: That's the whole point. Yeah, that's the whole point is to make something that makes sense. I, yeah, we're always gonna repeat the same message is do what you can, do it when you can and when you're drawn to it, right? Because the tools are yours and the change will be yours. It's not ours, right? And I think that that's the biggest thing is when you think you have that practice or thing where you're like, ⁓ no, I didn't do this. ⁓ no, what are they gonna think of me? Somebody, and I know this is true for so many practitioners that I even go to, like my acupuncturist or the person that gives me like massages, if I come up to them and I'm like, I'm so sorry I didn't do my massage, or I haven't been eating everything hot to my acupuncturist, he's gonna be like, okay, lie down. You know what I mean? And that's kind of the same thing where it's it's fine, we're not judging you. We're here when you need us. And that's kind of the cool thing. And that's where we're the people that we're saying, we don't want you to need us anymore.

Danielle: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Night.

Paloma: We're obviously 100 % here, and that's part of the point, is for our members to know that they can always reach out to us and we're gonna be here to guide them. And yeah, there might be some moments that get a little bit rocky, and then sometimes they're not rocky, and we don't hear from people from a year, and then a year later they're like, hey, how's it going? This thing came up, I'm wondering if you can help me. We're like, yeah, of course we can, we love it, right? So it's kind of both.

Danielle: Mm-hmm. Mmmmm

Paloma: both parts of that are really cool for us, both just to help guide people and also to just see them kind of go do their thing and live their life the way they want.

Danielle: Mm-hmm. Yes. And not put so much weight on having to do everything perfect. And I think this is one of the big things we're teaching our brain coaches that we're training right now is how to feel the nuances, how to know when to guide, how to know when to pull back, how to know not to take it personal, how to know how to work through your own stuff as you're working with people. And I think that's something that we are very in tune to and very much push ourselves for is like when we're working with somebody, if I notice that someone triggers something in me, I'm like, ⁓ I immediately need to go do a reconnect for that. I need to go reconnect that back into whatever I need it to be so that way I can be a better guide for people. And I think that's what this is all about. And I think it doesn't have to be that hard. I think that's what I really want to possibly end this with is what we're asking people to do is so incredibly doable. And I think a lot of people think it's one more thing.

Paloma: A thousand.

Danielle: You already hit another program that just came through, right? Where you're like, I have to do all the things. And we're like, no, our program, we ask you for 20 minutes a day. And it doesn't even have to be a consecutive 20 minutes. It's literally five minutes, maybe a couple minutes here, a couple minutes there. Everything can be broken up to work into your life. And I can get, while I'm making breakfast, I have my kids doing their brain work before we go to school.

Paloma: Mm-hmm.

Danielle: I have 18 kids I work with. all doing a reconnect together in a circle. We're all muscle checking together. We're all doing this like really cool process together and it just becomes a part of our day. And I think when you learn how to make it a habit and you learn, I think that's the key is when you habituate it and you just work it into your lifestyle, it becomes not something that adds to your to-do list. It's just like, it's just something you do like brushing your teeth, putting on your shoes, getting out the door to go wherever. And I always think about it like I'm literally doing reconnects in the car before we go to something that's new and unfamiliar and let's get our systems primed for it. And I think that's just what we want to teach parents is it's so simple to weave this into your life. Sometimes we make it not easy. Sometimes we make it way harder than it is. And like so many of our members are like, I just can't do it at my house because my floors are so dirty and then I have to go sweep my floors. And we just had a member tell us that was one of her biggest blocks.

Paloma: Yeah.

Danielle: and she just noticed herself crawling through her crumbs on her floor. And she was like, you guys, this is a breakthrough because I used to let those crumbs stop me from doing the things I needed to get done. And she's like, and once I was able to finally just like push through it, like quite literally push through the crumbs, then all of a sudden I could just tackle the crumbs and tackle cleaning the floor when it worked for me.

Paloma: Yeah. Yeah.

Danielle: instead of making that the thing stopping me from doing the next thing that I wanted to do to feel better. Because it's all about breaking these loops. And that's a program is. It's just this feedback loop that keeps us going on and on and on and not being able to get off and look at it and go, why was I stuck on that hamster wheel?

Paloma: Well, it's because also the brain prefers that loop because it's familiar, right? It prefers anything that it already knows. anything new that we're adding. And again, anybody that's listening to this probably has done something new.

Danielle: familiar. ⁓

Paloma: in the past couple years of like, this new health thing, I'm gonna stop eating this, I'm gonna start doing this, I'm gonna add this to my routine, I'm gonna remove that, now I gotta do this in the morning, now I gotta do that. mean, genuinely, there's so many things that I know, but this is the point is that the reason that they feel so new and so difficult is because our brain is so deep into our, what it already knows, right? And bringing it out of that doesn't have to be that hard because it doesn't have to be every day, by the way. If you can't do it every day, do it every other day. Do other times of the week. Do whatever works for you because the neurons are still firing together, right? And that's how they wire together. And that's the point of all of this stuff, right? And getting out of that, getting out of your own way. ⁓

Danielle: Mm-hmm.

Paloma: starts with helping your brain have that flexibility to be able to go into the unknown without being terrified and without going back to your old coping mechanisms, right? I just had a person yesterday that I had a session with who was like, oh, I had a really tough week. I had so many things. I got off so late every single day. And so that's why I do my brain work. I'm like, and he's like, I know that's when I should have been done doing it. And I'm like, I never said should, I never said, but it certainly is something that's gonna help you in those situations in the future, right? So it's just that thing and he's like, now I know that it's, yes, maybe it takes a little bit of that time, but I'm gonna waste that time being stressed out about something else later anyway. So maybe, it's hard for us sometimes to understand that dedicating this little tiny amount of time to it before. in the morning or sometimes people do it in the afternoon or the evening, that's fine, right? But dedicating this time is buying you so much more time because getting you so much more bandwidth in your day-to-day life.

Danielle: That is honestly everything right there is when you dedicate and I know we always think like, I don't have 10 minutes, I don't have 20 minutes and I'm like, did you just scroll on TikTok or Instagram for an hour or two? So it's really funny because yes, we all have the same amount of time, know, what's even time at this point in our day, but

Paloma: it. Yeah. Yeah.

Danielle: So we all have the same amount of time in our day to get the things done. ⁓ this is one of the that I think has really shifted for me and how I see time in general is, well, first of all, used to always walk around immediately saying everything was so hard. And Paloma did call me out a long time ago. And that really was a revolutionary moment where I was like, yeah, I'm making it hard. I'm making everything hard because ⁓ if something is hard already, it's OK that I don't do it. because it was already hard. It was already above what I could already do. So if I already say that this thing is hard, then I'm off the hook. So, but then when I started shifting that and realizing this, and I think we all do this, especially people who are in relationships, you always like when you're with the other person, you expect them to do whatever. And then if they don't do the thing, then you're like, ⁓ well, I didn't do it either. And then you guys start getting into that back and forth of, why didn't you do it? Well, why didn't you do it? And then when you're by yourself,

Paloma: Yeah. Well. Yeah.

Danielle: and you have, let's say, all the kids to yourself and you're in charge of getting them to whatever the park. You notice that your mind is able just to get it and happen so much easier when you're not expecting someone else to help you out in that situation. That's happened to me so many times. And I realize now in my life how many things I'm juggling and I'm like, I've never been more chill. Like I'm not even anxious. I would have been a stress case before. But now I just go, ⁓

Paloma: Hmm

Danielle: I can do all these things. I can do everything because I can just step into it just make it happen. And that was a program that shifted for me where I just started taking charge. But it was because I was ready in my life to do it and I had to have a regulated nervous system to get me there because I really felt like I was faking it. I was like, ⁓ yeah, I can do that stuff. And I knew internally I was so disorganized that like my brain would always be like, I can't function out how to make that thing happen. ⁓

Paloma: Yes, there you go.

Danielle: And now it's just so much easier. And it's because I spend the 20 minutes here and there. And we're down to one day a week doing our brain work. And we only just brought that back, like not even that long ago. And that's the goal is, but I do reconnects often. That is one thing that I'm never stopping on at least a three to four day a week basis. And it's just something that is like, I wish more people knew how simple it really could be. And

Paloma: Yeah. Yeah, me too. Mm-hmm.

Danielle: And I can relate 100 % because I just started meditating. used to think that was like the hardest thing in the entire world. And now I just sit and do it. And I'm so excited about it. And I'm like, whoa.

Paloma: Yeah. Yeah. It's really hard. Yeah. Indeed.

Danielle: It's not hard. Okay. Alrighty. Well, I think that's all we have to talk about today. I mean, we could keep going, but we won't. But if you have any questions about our program, our offerings or anything, we always offer a free 15-minute phone call and it's talking to one of us and we are open to talk about anything.

Paloma: think so too. We won't reach down. ⁓ Bring it.

Danielle: Let us what questions you have, how we can support you, is our program a fit for you, would it work for you guys? Our answer is always a yes and we show you how to do that part. So reach out to us, schedule that free call and if you're ready to sign up, we encourage you to do that. We'll drop a link in the show notes. You can sign up with the discount code and let us know if you have any questions. You can reach us at hello at inthecortex.com and we'll see you on the next episode. Bye.

Paloma: Bye.