Paloma: Okay, so anyway, hi everybody. We're restarting a conversation that we just started off mic because it was getting really good. But anyway, I was talking about how our minds really talk us into creating a narrative and creating a story for almost everything out there, right? And so a lot of the times we're not ready for things or we're not even looking for, I don't even know how to explain what I'm trying to say. Like it's not even that we're not ready is already a narrative is what I'm saying. Hi and welcome to the In the Cortex Podcast. We are your hosts. Danielle: I'm Danielle Perrecone Paloma: And I'm Paloma Garcia and we are the founders of In the Cortex, an online community with programs that show people the tools they need to change their lives through brain reorganization. No medication, just movement. Danielle: you And when you get your brain out of survival mode and regulate your nervous system, you start to live in the fun, logical part of the brain, the cortex. Subscribe today and learn how to live your best in the cortex life. And now on to today's episode. Right, yeah. Paloma: not ready, I don't resonate with that, I'm not looking for that. It's like, there are things that are not even in our capacity, capacity to even be aware of it, right? So I think that's where, and our brain's like, no, this. And we don't wanna be too rough, and we don't wanna be too harsh, and we don't wanna put ourselves down, or put other people down, or put whatever this new thing is down, but. Danielle: ⁓ there it is. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Paloma: We do, by putting up these different things that we say, oh, I don't resonate with that, oh, I'm not ready for that, oh, maybe one day, right? And that's, we all know, like when you say maybe one day, it means no. Like you're not actually thinking of that one day, right? Like I can think about when I was gonna start the meditation, because you and I were talking about this, we both do this meditation called Vedic meditation, and I remember my friend came to visit me in Spain, when I was living in Spain, in like 2022 probably, 2021 I think. Danielle: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Paloma: And she was like meditating all the time. And I was like, okay, cool. like, you're actually, was like, you're like, you're waking up early on vacation to meditate. Like girl, protect your peace. You know, that kind of stuff. And then she would tell me more about it. be like, oh yeah, okay, cool, whatever. Like I genuinely didn't care. Fast forward to now, I've taken all of the classes. I've gone to the retreat. I do it. I'm like the biggest proponent of this meditation because I'm obsessed with it. And it's like, The thing that resonates with me so much and I love it and I'm reading all the books and all the things. But the version of me then, I guess what I'm trying to say is I would look at it and it wasn't even an option for me. That's what it is. I would see it, I'd be like, ⁓ wow, this person's doing this thing. Turn around. There was no part of me that was even like, I wonder if that would be interesting for me to do, right? The curiosity wasn't even there. Danielle: Mmm, yum. Paloma: That's a big thing too, is curiosity really leads us sometimes to find these things, right? But our mind is always, always, always getting in our way. And we are just so used to living in our minds in our day and age because that's where everything quote unquote happens, right? That's the way we're programmed by society to think that what we're thinking is so important and all the information that we have is so important, right? And it's truly not the case because it's actually hurting us. the amount of information that we have in our brains is too much. It's literally too much, right? And I think that's what gives to this overthinking epidemic that we all have, right? It's not just people that have certain diagnoses, it's everybody's overthinking about everything. You're constantly being bombarded with all this information. So of course your brain is gonna make a narrative about everything because it doesn't know what else to do. And because that's all that it knows is to live in your mind and in your brain, right? And so I think... Danielle: Mmm. ⁓ Paloma: One of the coolest things of the brain work is when you do it and you notice the difference afterward of like your internal monologue of where your thoughts are going or how much you're looking at your phone, how much you're thinking about that one thing that this person said that you didn't like that morning or whatever, how ⁓ much less that starts to happen, right? That's a really cool piece because your body... Danielle: Mm-hmm. Paloma: is getting what it needs so you don't have to live in your mind, right? We also are so incredibly sedentary, right? That's why some people become totally addicted to exercise, right? Because the body is like, just let me get all this out somehow. So if I'm not overthinking, I'm getting it out this way, or I'm just letting it turn into like bubbles of anxiety all over my body, then I don't know why I feel this way, right? And I do think this is the moment to start to question when we have these thoughts. Danielle: Mmm. Mmm. Amazing. Paloma: Where is it coming from? Why am I saying I don't resonate with that? Why am I saying, ⁓ I'm not ready for that? Why am I? It's not that you have to be ready for everything, but I wanna look at behind these thoughts. Where are they coming from? Because usually it's some sort of a fear, some sort of a dismissal, or some sort of an overwhelm where you're like subconsciously your mind is like, girl, I'm learning about 4,000 different things right now. I don't need another one, right? Danielle: Thank you. Right. That's it. I think that's where it's the capacity of being able to handle all the things. I think that's really where I started really looking at. mean, just like what you said, this is what brought us to this conversation because we were going through something I was just experiencing where I was like, OK, I feel like I'm starting to dismiss people. And I'm like, OK, but where does that come from? And I realized as a kid, I was very dismissed and I was very like. Paloma: Yeah. Danielle: my emotions, my feelings, like none of it actually mattered. It was always just like, you're too, and it was just immediately thrown off to the side, like just get out of my face. And so like, I find that as soon as people are like, help, I need help, and we're like, here you go. And then they're like, no, not that help. And we're like, okay, well, how else can we help you? And then that's where I have worked for very, a lot of years. And I think that's where... Paloma: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Danielle: I think this conversation in my head is getting so deep and I feel like it isn't yours too where they're just like going in a million directions. I get that first of all, the human experience is so incredibly messy and it's supposed to be. And I think that is one thing that I get. I just had someone yesterday tell me, ⁓ just go use your tools. And I'm like, the tools that you don't even want to touch? Okay, I'll go use them because I know they work. Paloma: I'm happy. Danielle: But I know that people throw that in my face, like when they don't want me to grow and they like want to see me crumble. And like, I know I'm like, okay, I can come out of this. I don't need to go down back into that old space I was in. Paloma: Well, but this is also a narrative that you're making in your mind, where you're like, ⁓ they want to see me crumble. Danielle: Right. Well, yeah. You never know. Paloma: they wanna see me go down, but you never know. They might be terrified and they're like, you know what, I'm just deflecting. I don't know what's gonna happen to her, but I gotta get this heat off of me, bro. And so again, that's the narrative. So that's where we have to be so careful, because we tell these golly darn narratives, especially people like us that are in this healing and wellness and self-improvement world, there is a tendency to just like go down these rabbit holes and then you create this narrative and you're like, wait. Danielle: For sure. again. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and create stories. Paloma: Is it even, what? Is it even helpful? Let alone real, right? Danielle: I know. Yeah. I know, and that's what's hard too is like, the reason I have that narrative is because I have so many years experience that has always had the same outcome, right? And so here I am trying to be a change agent, switching the narrative. And then it's like, but we still fall back into the same thing. And I'm like, okay, it must seem like that person just wants me to fail and fall apart because why else would they keep provoking me into the same thing? But I do think like that's where it gets hard. Paloma: right. Danielle: to be able to zoom out, take in all the things, let the ego take a break and being able to tell your ego to step aside, let me just feel this and let me just like be a human and just feel these things without, because we do it, we all put these stories onto things because it's a self preservation. That's what we're constantly trying to do. And it's like at the end of the day, it's still survival in some capacity. Paloma: Yeah. Exactly. Danielle: And I do think of some relationships that I can't, it's interesting actually now that we're saying this out loud. There's a lot of relationships that I could be like, thank you so much, I learned so much from this, thank you, I know now we've learned a lesson, we can go our separate ways. And I do have one particular relationship that I can't actually do that with. And I find that to be so. Paloma: when you have them. Yum. Danielle: interesting because I'm like, okay, there's more to learn here. There's more like every single time we have interactions and like there's more for me to glean from this interaction. And I'm like, okay. And I do feel myself like getting to a better place of like, not spiraling, not falling back into the same pattern. But I do remember I like sent a voice and I was like, did we see it the same way? Okay, we did. Okay. Paloma: 100%. Right. Yes. Just like that. Danielle: Am I ⁓ in my head too much or did you experience the same thing that I did? So, yeah. Paloma: Yeah. And I think also like falling back into the same things I think is seen as such a failure from society. And I think that's something that's really wrong because that doesn't make any sense. Why would it be a failure for your own body and your own brain, your own mind to find something to help themselves feel a little bit better? Is it always 100 % productive? No. Like if you're somebody who, like me, who gets these like binge eating things, every time I fall back, I'm like, really? Again? But then I thought about this last week when I Danielle: Right. Hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Paloma: I was like eating this chocolate cake from Hooters. It's really good. Highly recommend, highly recommend, baby, highly recommend. It's really good anyway. It's giving a crack cake. But anyway, not literally guys, not literally, but anyway. Danielle: giving birth. I'm full of grace. So Paloma goes for Hooters for the chocolate cake just to be very clear, nothing else. Paloma: Nothing and I take it to go. I'm not gonna sit there. So I do have a little bit of you know, I mean you I was thinking Why do I stop like? No, it's not great. It's not a perfect coping mechanism. It's not something that I'm like, yay, I'm binge eating again, fantastic, good for you, girl. Give yourself a hug and talk to yourself in the mirror. I'm not gonna do that. But I think also I need to be like, it is what it is, like whatever. You had some cake and some other things. you know, and like. Danielle: more. Paloma: Clearly it's still my MO for a reason there's something better that I still haven't unblocked instead of judging me my judging myself and making it this whole thing of like ⁓ I always do it and now I'm gonna do this and I have to find another way of Fixing myself and I have to fix it It's like maybe that's kind of your thing and you have a proclivity to do it And maybe if you let yourself do it once in a while It won't be the end of the world every time because then I have a tent and everybody that does binge eating knows this like you go into Danielle: Mm. Mmm. Paloma: that is like, ⁓ my god, now it's the end of the world, and now I have to restrict, and I have to eat only vegetables for the next however long. And I was like, about to go to the supermarket and buy all these vegetables, and I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that, because it's starting the cycle up again, right? So I think, to a certain extent, We need to be okay with whatever our system knows currently for how to cope. Does it mean it's always healthy? No, I know that there's some very unhealthy stuff, right? So something's extremely unhealthy, that's a different situation, and you go to a professional to help you with it. But if it's this stuff that's just uncomfortable and we know that we don't wanna keep doing it, maybe that's why it keeps coming back, is because we have such resistance to it, right? So if I let myself sometimes, Danielle: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Paloma: eat some stuff that is not super healthy. I feel like I'm eating like perfectly healthy the rest of the time also, like relax, you know what I mean? So it's like not that deep. And so I think that's where when we go back into these moments of like overthinking or the eating or the whatever you do where you start to get like dismissing everybody, you're like, ugh, like, I think that's where we have to have the most compassion for ourselves because that's where our own, that's where we know our system is going through something, right? Danielle: Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Paloma: And what we do is we do the opposite. We're like, have to stop doing that. I just, gotta, right? And so that's where we get stuck in these things. Cause we didn't try, instead of understanding where it's coming from, we just try to push it down, smash it down, don't come back up. And of course it's going to come back up. We didn't get to the root of what it was. Danielle: Yeah. Well, I was just going say like you, yeah, with a vengeance. And it always comes back up with a little bit more, you know, pizzazz to get your attention, right? And I think you mentioning like you saying like binge eating has the same cycle. I think everything has the same cycle, every single person. So for me, for example, like Paloma: Of course. Of course. Of course. Yeah. Danielle: Your stuff might be more in the food category. I think my stuff is more in the relationship category. And I think that does come down to like our human design kind of thing, because I think mine is supposed to be really networking and connecting with people. And I noticed that like, I'll have like relationships that are flowing. Then all of a sudden it stops flowing. And then I'm like, forget people altogether. And I just wanna like throw the baby out with the bathwater. I'm not talking to anybody. So we all do it in some capacity of having that cycle, recognizing the cycle. Paloma: Yeah. Yeah. Yep, of course. Danielle: And just like you said, and I think almost all of the time, if you just pause it and go, okay, where is this coming from? It's gonna come back to your childhood. Like it's crazy to me how much of our childhood wounds and how much that filter, how much that foundation has laid the tracks for our lives. And it's crazy to me that it could be the seemingly smallest thing in the entire world or a really big thing. It doesn't even matter. It's still going to be that filter in how you see the world because like me just being like, ⁓ I notice I'm starting to dismiss people right now because here I am, like being not a martyr, but feeling like started to feel the resentment, which again is a big part of my human design. Like if I'm not in alignment, then I start to feel bitterness and resentment. And I was noticing myself like giving, giving, giving. And then I'm like, why isn't this reciprocated? Shouldn't they know to reciprocate? And when it's not. Paloma: thousand percent. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Danielle: then I start to step into the bitterness and then it's like teetering on the lines of being a martyr. And I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, that is something that I've picked up from all the females in my lineage. And so it's really interesting how that's so interconnected to like my ancestral stuff along with my human design and like how I'm supposed to navigate stuff. But I do think it's like, I think the ability when you're in the emotional thing is to Paloma: Yes. Right. Right. Yeah. Danielle: get better at pausing in it. And like, you're like, even when you're in the middle of eating something, you're like, okay, I'm doing that. Okay, I'm enjoying this delicious Hooters chocolate cake. And it's actually funny, like that I like cake from Hooters. Like you can find some humor. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've never been to Hooters. Like sadly, I have actually. Paloma: Yes. Yes. Yeah, it's been vicious. Also, how did I even discover that? We're not gonna get into that story today. Like, how did I ever even know that? Girl, we're not gonna talk about that. Let's just say I'm the queen of Uber Eats, okay? Okay. Anywho, but not this year, not anymore. But I think that also, like, here's the thing that maybe a lot of us miss, as you said that, that came to my brain. Like... Danielle: Yeah. No. Paloma: you say, okay, I'm eating this thing, I know this is not good for me, like it's all this fat and all that, not fat, it's all this sugar and I know for me specifically, sugar's not great for me because I tend to have insulin resistance, so I know it's not good for me to just be eating that. In general, it's not great for anybody, but once in a while it's fine, but if you've already eaten this and that, and usually it comes at the end of like a couple days of like really indulging in other things, right? Danielle: Yeah. Yeah. Paloma: And so I think here's the key though. Where are you coming from when you look at that? Right? Because you say, okay, what am I feeling? Where is this coming from? I'm enjoying it. It's delicious. But there's still a part of me that's like, ⁓ but I really wanted to start eating a little bit healthier this week. So where is that feeling? There's definitely a feeling in you that's coming that wants to just like ⁓ devour that chocolate cake. It's usually like you said something from childhood. But I think the piece that we miss is what am I trying to Danielle: I mean. Mm-hmm. Paloma: I'm not gonna say fix, because it's not the correct word. What am I trying to avoid? Am I ultimately trying to avoid not gaining weight? Because that's usually what it comes to, and that's why I haven't gotten to the root of it. Danielle: I think a void. Mm-hmm. Mmm. Paloma: because that's not the real route for me, right? So when I think and I'm like, ⁓ it's emotional, I'm gonna look at it, it always, underneath what I'm thinking and writing and journaling and whatever, even though I'm working on it, there's a part of me that's like, I just wanna be skinny. And that's where I'm not actually getting to the real route of where that's coming from. Does that make sense? Where you're like. Danielle: Right. Mmm. Why? Why? Yeah, like, why do you want to be skinny? Paloma: I'm really just thinking about, like when I'm doing a lot, that exercise is a specific example, but it's for everybody. I'm not coming to the actual root of why do I keep doing this binge eating that's not good for my health. Ultimately, my real true desire is just, I just want to be skinny. So that's why I didn't want to eat the chocolate cake. If it weren't for being skinny, I would eat the chocolate cake every single day of my life. Breakfast, and dinner. Bye-bye. Danielle: Mmm. Paloma: So that's the truth. So where does that come from? Do you know what I'm saying? Danielle: But I actually, yeah, but I actually think this is full circle conversation. I think the reality is, is you're not ready to hear it yet. You're not ready to get to the root of it yet. And that's exactly what we're saying about all of this is like, so instead of trying to force something and get to the point, it's like, just wait for that moment to go, ding, ⁓ I should try this now. And it resonates. So it's like, that's what I'm saying is like when you're in the minute of like, Paloma: For sure. Exactly. It's not sort of exactly. Yes. Yes. Yes, exactly. Danielle: I need to go eat that cake. I need to go do this. And I'm not saying like, and this is where I don't want people to like blow it out of proportion and be like, ⁓ yeah, I'm gonna go do all the drugs in the world and I'm gonna get crazy and go in a bender. No, we're saying when you're in a brief moment of like, I need to just be a messy human and just embrace my humanness and eat the dang cake and enjoy it, then do it and enjoy it. Enjoy that moment, you know, instead of sitting there judging yourself and shaming yourself. Paloma: Not at all. actually enjoy it. Yes. Danielle: Just say, yeah, I'm eating this cake and it's so good and it's hitting everything I need right now because I know the moment when I'm ready to look at this of why I wanna be skinny, it's just gonna happen. And it's just gonna happen effortlessly and naturally. And that's, Paloma: Yes. And when I stop caring about it and I go through like, yes, exactly. That's exactly it. Danielle: So I guess that's where I get myself and I've worked on this for so long and it's amazing when like, I love the cute human in us. It's like, ⁓ I've already worked on that, it's all done. I love how cute you think you could just check personal development off the list. I literally have been working on my capacity. Paloma: Yeah, it's so silly. ⁓ silly goose. Done. Danielle: to meet people where they're at without me sounding condescending, without me sounding like I know it all, without me sounding like I can help you and then they feel like I'm trying to fix them and then they don't want to share things with me and then it turns into this whole you're controlling. I'm working on finding the ability to hold the space, be compassionate, detach from their journey because I think I just I so deeply care and I was saying this yesterday I was like I I really don't like watching people suffer. Paloma: Yeah. Danielle: I don't like watching animals suffer. I don't like anybody not doing their best. And it's hard for me to not want to go out and like save everything. Like that is so deeply ingrained into who I am and I have to stop. And I will tell you, I actually said this to you, I think in a voice note last week where I was like, you know, it's amazing to me. It was when Axel was playing baseball last Thursday and he got up to, he was the lead off pitcher. Paloma: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Danielle: And we looked back at his journey over five years and to the kid who was crying and screaming about even playing baseball to now being fully obsessed with baseball and loving it. And now this year he's worked so hard. We've worked so hard on him. He's now the leadoff pitcher throwing strikes, like set the tone of the game. And then he got up to bat and hit a home run. And it was like, it was amazing. it was like, and to just be like, holy cow, look how far we've come. And I think. for me, that moment was like, ⁓ my gosh, I stopped trying to fix everything and everyone. And I actually just went home, started with me, started really putting myself into that magnifying glass position of like, okay, let's go deeper, but let's also hold capacity for like, I'm not ready to expand at this moment. And knowing that, but then knowing that my kids need me to show up for them, my kids need me to like help them see things, but then also knowing don't go too hard, because then you'll shut them down. Paloma: Yes. Danielle: So it's like, it's a dance. It's literally so nuanced. It's like, it's just this space. But I think when you're trying to figure this out and you're trying to go in to these spaces where you're working on yourself, I think honesty and being honest with yourself is the first step. I like, that's where I started realizing like my conversations with my kids are so open and honest and they are like, and I don't hide any, I don't put on them the responsibility of what Paloma: It's a dance. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, that's it. One million. Yes, I love that. Danielle: They shouldn't, they don't need to be an adult having to figure out how to do any of the hard stuff, right? Like I show up and I like show them I'll pay the bills, I'll get clothes. Like I handle the things, but I also don't shield them from like me crying or me being upset or me, you know, going through something heavy or, and I talk to them and I explain to them because what I realized as a kid, my parents didn't take me through their fricking journey. So then as I became an adult, I was like, wait, what? What? We're all falling apart? Wait, we're all a mess? Paloma: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Danielle: I thought my parents were like doing great. And it's like this crumbling moment when you become older and you're realizing like, wait, we're all trying to figure this out. And it had my parents like had honest conversations with me, like, we're really scared. You're this, this happening, you're that's happening. We're doing this, this is our options. Here's how we're working through it. Without it, as long as you position it as like being regulated and under control, I think kids love to know. Paloma: Yeah. Danielle: like all the ins and outs and I try to hide stuff from my kids and like try to wait for the right moment to share it. They know like immediately something's up. It's so wild. It's like they've learned how to like sniff it out. Yes. Paloma: save them. It's always no. Think about when you were little. You could tell when your parents were trying to be sneaky about something, you're like, what do they think they're doing? I'd be like, mom, what's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? And they're like, nothing, nothing at all, nothing. And they're actually freaking out about whatever, right? And you're like, dude, you're such a bad actor, too. Like, can read it. I can tell that you guys are freaking out about something, right? Like, Danielle: Just say it, just tell us, yeah. Right. I can feel it. Right. Paloma: It's just so, the fact that we've been there, we all know, right? We've all seen it in our parents too. So like, as parents, like guys, stop with the charade. Just be real with your kids. And again, don't burden them with every single piece of information, you know? But I think something also really important that you just said was you said, I really want to hold space for people. And I think holding space, I don't, I don't. Danielle: Right, just tell it. No. Paloma: I don't vibe with that language anymore. don't vibe with that. I don't vibe with it. You know why? Because it puts a lot of responsibility on you. Like, let me go ahead and hold this for you. I'll just be here whenever you're ready, I got all your space over here. It's like you're putting all the burden on yourself. Danielle: You don't buy it? You don't buy it with it? No. Mmm. Right. Wow, that's actually a huge realization. Paloma: Why? And that's such a common thing that we say nowadays. Again, because of the way that this stuff is perpetuating itself. And again, we love that there's so much content out there because our content is in there. Like, hi, thanks for listening. But literally, it's great, but again, it gets you into this wormhole. Danielle: Right, right. Paloma: of all these words and these ways that we speak and we start to pick it up and you just pick it up because you're like, I like the way that sounds, I'm gonna hold space. But then, guys, words are so powerful. Words are everything. So if you're telling your own body, I'm holding space, because you say it a lot, that's why I'm saying it. I don't say it that much and you say it a lot. You're like Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande, you're like holding space with the lyrics of Divine Gravity. you're like, or whatever, I don't know. Danielle: Holy cow, maybe that's what I've been doing. ⁓ my god. I'm in the digs of fine growth. ⁓ my god, yes. ⁓ my god. Maybe that's it. No, that, ⁓ my gosh. You know what's so, drop it like it's hot. Wait a minute, hold on. Remember I've literally been saying I feel like a meatball. I'm like, I feel like just a dense bit of meat. Like I just feel so heavy. Cause I've been holding so much damn space. It's like. Paloma: it was but yeah like don't hold it see it see the space that's not you can acknowledge that it's there but you don't gotta hold it let's get rid of it drop it drop it like it's hot You haven't seen that. That's it. Danielle: So instead of holding space, because what I see is like, like, okay, you know when someone starts crying and you're sitting there with them and I think we're so programmed to be like, ⁓ shoot, hurry, hurry, make them stop crying here, get them to laugh or whatever. But like, so when I picture holding space, I picture just being able to sit next to somebody while they have their moment. But again, words are so powerful. I think I've been holding that spot for them to cry. Paloma: Yes. Danielle: and I'm taking it as like, I got this, let me take that load off of you, because I can hold it, because I'm so strong. So instead of saying holding space, I'm like, I'll just sit here with you. And when I sit there, I'm not doing anything, I'm not taking anything, I'm just sitting and holding my own space, just my own, while you hold yours, or do whatever you need with yours, kind of thing. And then there's no judgment. Paloma: Yes, that's it. Yeah, I like that. Danielle: There's no need to dismiss, because I think that's why I'm trying to dismiss people, because I'm like, this is exhausting to hold for space. Paloma: And you just said this before we got on, you're like, it's exhausting to me. And I saying, I see it too, and I see it in so many people that I'm like, they're not doing it, they're not ready to do it, either they're asking me for advice and they're not taking it, or they're not even asking me. And I'm like, oh, you need, come on, I can help you so much, but I genuinely don't take it on the way that you do. And that's why we started on this conversation, because it's like... Danielle: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Paloma: I think that's the difference. I never say hold space. Maybe because I speak in Spanish a lot and we don't really say that. Let's be honest. say that. You just don't say that. You don't say it. Danielle: what? What are you saying? Yeah. What do you say in Spanish? So when someone's in a thing. Yeah. Dude. Wait a minute. Paloma: space and weight from other people. Danielle: Okay. So I've had now so many moments where like I have a thought or I'm experiencing something and my daughter who's almost seven years old will act upon it. And it's like she's reading my mind. The other day, like for an example, the other day I was like, gosh, we have so many dang pillows in this house. Why don't I just have one of these be my body pillows? I am not kidding you. grabbed the body pillow off of her bed and brought it into my room and put it in the bed. And I was like, can you actually read my mind? Because I think you can. Paloma: ⁓ yeah. Danielle: And then yesterday I picked her up and she literally says to me, once you choose to pick up Sigi, can't put her down. And I was like, Paloma: Okay. Danielle: wait and I was like wait I'll carry you to the stairs because you're getting heavy and I'm like wait she's actually like like she's it's actually I'm tripping out for lack of a better word because I'm just like blown away at how our kids when you're ready to hear your kid talk to you and like actually give you that feedback they have so many answers for you and like guidance like Paloma: I love her so much. It's more funny. Yeah. Yeah. Danielle: I literally say this, we say this, our kids are our greatest teachers and they really are because your kids and their energy will just share with you so much of what's going on and ⁓ my gosh, that's so crazy. Paloma: because they haven't been programmed yet. They haven't been programmed to the level that we have. And so they're still able to listen to their intuition and listen to their own guidance and kind of go with the flow, right? And like, doesn't mean that they're not gonna get programmed because we all kind of do, unfortunately, but it's just so cool when you let them and they know that they're safe and listen to, because... Danielle: Yeah. Paloma: It's not just being heard, it's being listened to. Because hearing is one thing. I can hear whatever, but I'm not listening to it, right? Like, you need to be listened to and know that people are actually paying attention to what they're saying and valuing it, not dismissing it again, right? And I think that that's a huge thing that so many parents nowadays are shifting. And that's why it's so wonderful that we're like about to start this movement with this new school and this education and all this stuff that's coming with us that we didn't even actively know this was going to happen. Danielle: right. Yeah, ⁓ Paloma: It's about to happen in Mexico City. It's already happening in Valley Center, California. I'm like, this is the stuff, and these are the parents that are finding us, or the ones that are ready to listen and listen to their kids and listen to themselves and really go with it, you know? Like, I was talking to some of the moms today at my Forest preschool, one of them was like... Danielle: Yeah. Yeah. Paloma: ⁓ yeah, some of the, she's like, ⁓ yeah, was telling my friends this weekend about this and it's so much fun and how like my kid's loving it and he's just like thriving, right? And he loves it loves to run around. We're literally in the woods, having preschool we do like circle time and songs and stuff, but then we just run around and we get full of mud. They're like caked in mud at the second, when they go home. Like all the parents have to bring like stuff to change them into. Then she's like, it's so cool. And I told my friends and my friends were like, ⁓ yeah, I've seen it on Instagram. But I feel like it's just like these two like random gringas that came to Mexico. Danielle: Yeah. ⁓ my God. Yeah. Yeah. Paloma: Like they just think that it's like whatever and like nobody's actually gonna do it and she's like well my teachers Mexican So that's not it, you know, again one of those things with like the perception that they just weren't ready But then a couple of the moms were like wait you can do that. ⁓ my gosh I've been wanting to get my kid out of this Montessori thing of this classroom That's like indoors all day. And so now they wanted to reach out, right? So I love that we get to do this because what I'm saying is that's just a one conversation at a luncheon on a Sunday in Mexico City Danielle: Mmmmm Paloma: This starts to happen all over the world and little by little the people who are inspired by it and who do resonate with it and who do whatever want to, who are curious about it, then they start to reach out to us and that's where the movement truly happens, right? So this is like the moment where parents, a lot of parents really are ready because this wouldn't have, it wouldn't look like this 10, 15 years ago. It just wouldn't look like this. Danielle: Yeah. Sorry about that. Go. No. Well, that's exactly OK. So we talk about this all the time where when I first started learning about brain reorganization 17 years ago, I remember a friend from high school and I sat down at the coffee bean when that existed and we were talking about a vision of a school where the kids would get to, you know, be outside and be in the dirt and play with goats. And it like was so abstract at the time, like no one was thinking of that yet. And and then her and I ended up going separate ways. Paloma: Yeah. Danielle: And then we just kind of like knew we were thinking about it and we were here for it. Wasn't holding space for the idea anymore, too freaking heavy. But we were there for it. And then when the alignment piece happened, it just happened naturally. Like we just got literally thrown into it. Like we decided a week before last year, we were going to have a camp in Valley Center and we're like, let's see if anybody wants to show up. Paloma: Hahaha Danielle: One of our members drove from Missouri to California to be there for a week. And it was like, that was insane. And we had people who were driving from, you know, an hour away every single day. And it was like, OK, there are people who want to step into this zone. And I think for us, you and me and our brain coaches that we're also training, we always have to keep looking at our own stuff that's coming up when we're in this evolving process of Paloma: very. Yeah. Danielle: helping create this movement because the movement can't happen with force. It can't happen by being told you have to. It has to come from this natural organic place. And that's when things really happen. And I have to say that out loud and remember and record this because I have to listen to this again, because again, I'm a human and we have to remember that why we're doing all these things. And it's not like, yeah, and it's not like we're, yeah. Paloma: 100%. Yep. That's dance. Yeah, me too. That's it. It's the honesty of what you were saying earlier. It's let's be honest about where we're coming from for this change, because it's any kind of change, right? Even if you talk about like a meta, you know, like at a country level, at a world level, where is it coming from, right? Because that's where a lot, I'm not going to get into that, but yeah, it's it's so, because we'll be on here for four hours, so we're not going to go there. no, Not Oye. Danielle: It's honest. Yeah. Right. Yeah, good. That's going to get too deep. No. It's really cool. think, well, I just looked at a recording. was 33 minutes and 33 seconds. And I think we are truly just we're here to not let the ego take over, create the narrative that keeps us safe. Like I'm ready to just like face it. Like even if you had told me that what you told me, I don't know, 30 minutes ago where you were just like, girl, I think you're telling a narrative. And I was like. Paloma: Yeah. Danielle: I would have wanted to fight you back on that one. And I was like, she's right. Like she's fully right. Like I literally am taking old evidence. I'm trying to also ask that person to drop my story, but yet here I am holding onto their story and what they've done in the past. Like let's all just like meet each other, like right here, right now. And I think there's people who like really want to do it. There's people who are like, I kind of want to do it. And then there's people like, I'm not, I'm not doing it yet. And we're working on Paloma: Yeah. you That's all. Danielle: holding or no ⁓ my gosh I have to really reconnect that ⁓ we're working on being here for all of it like I am gonna do that's gonna be my reconnect as I am here for you and the you is the collective of whoever wants to be there Paloma: Yes. Yes. 100%. And as projectors, we are here. Like in human design, we are here for the people. We literally are designed to be here for others. So we are here for you, and we're here for us, and we're here because here's all that we have at the end of the day. I'm just dropping them today. I'm just like, doop, doop, doop-a-da-boop, doop-a-doop, doop-a-da-boop. Doop, doop, doop. Oh, he's so funny. I love that. Yeah. Danielle: Yeah. Yes. oof This is, yeah, this is all we have. That's like the comedian I just found on Instagram. He's so funny. Oh my gosh. He was just like dropping all these like realities where it's like the have stuff and then we lose stuff and like we always are wanting stuff. And then it's like this crazy, yeah. All that we have is here. I know. Paloma: and then we lose it, and then we lose it, then you want it, yes. All that we have is here. We are here because that's all that there is. It's all we have is the here and the now. That's all that we have, guys. Danielle: Yeah. So let's make the most of it, you know, but then not stress about it either. I know. Okay. We got to stop now though, cause otherwise you're going to get too deep. That was really, that was healing for me. That was a good one for me. Yeah. Paloma: I'm just keep going. was gonna do something really silly. Okay, thank you so much. That was great. That was a really good one. Danielle: That was good. Okay. We hope you enjoyed it too. So if you like that and you like more of this content, please like it, subscribe, share it with other people and also know that we have a free 15 minute phone call you can sign up for literally no obligation. We're just here to talk and listen. And also if you want to sign up for our program, we personally think it's amazing and it will guide you. It's a lifetime access. Our members do too. And, Paloma: Bye. fair in a minute. We are. Lots of our members do too. Indeed. Danielle: Yeah, there's a good, if any time it is to get on this, it's now because things are getting really speedy, know, really speedy. Yeah. All right. Until our next episode, have a great rest of your week. Bye. Paloma: It's now. and DDO and Cute vibes. Adiosos. What? Bye.