speaker-0: Hi there, I'm Pastor Toot Whitley and this is Conversion Therapy, a podcast where I help lost lambs back to the heterosexual pasture. If I can get straight, so can you, and so can our guest. Please open your hearts to bisexual, Sahana Srinivasan. Hello. Hi there, nice to meet you, Sahana. So happy that you're on the podcast. speaker-1: Hi, thanks for having me. speaker-0: Feel so blessed that you know you're gonna go on this journey with me today. Mm. Must be a tough to have made the decision to to start conversion therapy, but I'm very proud of you. speaker-1: Thank you. I don't hear that a lot. speaker-0: Is that part of the reason you think you might be here? speaker-1: Yeah, it's funny that we celebrate Pride Month, but I never get told that people are proud of me. speaker-0: That's enough of a reason to turn your back on the gay and queer community, that's for sure. speaker-1: Yeah. And I think if I ⁓ were to ever play Survivor and they do like a gay versus straight, I think the gay people would likely lose 'cause they would all like sorry, d is it okay if I say something gross? speaker-0: We encourage you to share your feelings however they may sit on this podcast. speaker-1: They might all like fuck each other. And then they will lose sight of the goal and so I would want to be cast in the straight side. speaker-0: Yeah. Absolutely. Mm-hmm. So mostly you're doing this 'cause you're looking to be cast on the straight side of Survivor. I think that's a a very admirable goal because I too agree, you know, gay people do tend to f each other and I don't think that we should be doing that. You know, I have my own torrid history. I'm not shaming anybody from where they came from, but I'm hoping everybody chooses the right path to go to. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I think that's really sweet. speaker-0: Thank you. So Sana on a scale of Jojo Siwa at the GLAD Awards to Jojo Siwa cause playing a trad wife, how gay would you say you are? Notoriously you know at the Glad Awards she was wearing sort of rhinestones in her hair. Right. Yeah, she I think I think she's in her twenties now. I can't be certain. I don't really consume that item. speaker-1: Hmm. She's kind of a child, right? Just don't think gay people get that far. That's speaker-0: That's true. Yeah, they have a do I think they genuinely do have a shorter life expectancy, yeah. speaker-1: Okay. speaker-0: But, you know, now more recently I think she's been extending her life expectancy by sort of singing Betty Davis eyes with pin curls in her hair and a red lip. speaker-1: Yeah, and I think that that's so great that she's sort of going back to her her roots. wish she would is she a natural blonde? speaker-0: You know, I I don't know, but I'd be willing to wager, you know, homosexuals are known to dye their hair. speaker-1: Hm. So then I can't make the joke about maybe she should go back to her natural roots also hairwise. speaker-0: I think it's good that you made that joke, and you would be right to do so. speaker-1: Thank you. But but on that scale on that scale I would say somewhere somewhere in between. Depending on, you know, how I'm feeling in the morning. speaker-0: You say you think you are. Mm. So maybe like ⁓ Jojo Siwa Karma's a bitch ⁓ era, sort of homosexuality level. I would say so. Okay. I do like that your sexuality is sort of determined by how you feel in the morning. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. E every day's sort of a different day. it's sort of like, you know, how COVID happens. Depend you know, depends on how you're feeling. speaker-0: ⁓ code. Yeah, exactly. COVID is determined by how you feel in the morning, much like sexuality is. Yeah. I think it's great. Maybe we should even start making a test like a COVID test. speaker-1: But for sexual. ⁓ speaker-0: Listen, you and me I think we'll work on it after. Science will support us. speaker-1: You should go you should go on Shark Tank. speaker-0: ⁓ yeah, shark I think the sharks could be very interested. It's speaker-1: Very straight. I don't think there's been any gay judges on there. speaker-0: Well and thank goodness, because then you know what kind of products will we be getting? They'd be investing in things like big big strap strap-on. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so I was curious, what are you most looking forward to about being straight? I know this journey might be a long one, so it's important to have a goal at the end. speaker-1: Big crab. I think I'm excited to rose all day. speaker-0: Yes, rose is a very wonderful part of being straight. I mean, especially gay people when they drink rose just sort of doesn't do anything to ⁓ Then you drink then you drink like a tequila or a vodka. Should you just be drinking rose all day? Frose. speaker-1: Froze even. Froze all day. I'm excited to live left love. speaker-0: Mm. That's very powerful. I was wondering, what do you think will be the hardest thing to let go of about being gay, you know? I think there are some there are some sinful benefits to being gay and sometimes it can be hard in our transition to let go. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah, being able to dance so good and well s dance so good and well. But I'm willing to make that sacrifice, to Kingdom I and get kingdom of heaven, exactly. speaker-0: Get into it. I mean dancing good and well is really core to the gay experience. And that's most of what they try w you know, this program has multiple steps and we might not reach this step today, but we do actually try and ⁓ work with you to to help the rhythm exit your body. We think Exactly. speaker-1: to become like sort of worse. Yeah, I think there's something special about being really stiff at a party. It's like you don't want to give it all away. I think that's like dancing should be done with you and like a special someone. speaker-0: Mm-hmm. ⁓ the only time you should be dancing is with your husband on your wedding day. And otherwise your feet should be used for walking. And sometimes if your husband is into it, maybe something of a sexual nature. Okay. That's allowed. ⁓ it's allowed between a man and a woman. Okay, great. That's on the table. Okay, great. Just so you know. Really? speaker-1: Okay. I d ⁓ Yeah. So we can talk Like literally on the table. speaker-0: I mean don't put your feet up on my table. Okay. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Okay, so just to get an idea of how far you've strayed from God's light, we're gonna do a couple of exercises. The first one we're gonna start with is finish this sentence. So I'm gonna give you the first S you're already game, and that is one of the most wonderful things about you. I think you're gonna make a wonderful stray woman of Christ. speaker-1: Sorry. Thank you. speaker-0: I'm gonna give you the first part of a sentence and you will complete it, okay? And just go with whatever comes naturally. We're just trying to gauge how bad your case of homosexuality is, okay? speaker-1: Okay. I'm nervous. speaker-0: There's lots of options. There's lots of chances to be right with the Lord. So just try your best. On Sundays, I speaker-1: Sleigh Slay. Sleigh per perhaps? speaker-0: Slightly Slay. Okay, at first I thought you said slit, so s sleigh is better. I mean, still not fully what we're looking for, but that's okay. We'll get ⁓ on the next one. Okay. Okay. To repent for my sins, I make sure to speaker-1: Stand up stand up stand up and get speaker-0: Uh-huh. speaker-1: Can you ask me the question again? speaker-0: course. To repent for my sins, I make sure to speaker-1: Stand up and say everything that's on my mind. speaker-0: Okay, that's sort of that's good. That works. I mean, listen, ⁓ what what is confession but speak in your mind? ⁓ so okay. You're on the right path. Don't worry. speaker-1: Okay. I just wanna win. speaker-0: Guess the winning in this scenario the so work gauging how gay you are. So winning in this scenario would be ⁓ being closer to a journey of straightness. Okay. That's okay. Yeah. I can see you're trying your best. You're kind of sweating. You're getting you're sweating. Yeah. Yeah. But know that this is a journey we're going on together. We're gonna make sure you're all right. Okay. Okay. The body of Christ makes me feel speaker-1: Mm-hmm. I'll tr I'll be better. It makes me feel and who is playing Christ in this? ⁓ just speaker-0: ⁓ of the body of Christ as he might be maybe like as a depiction behind me here. ⁓ sort of the crucifix classic. A little bit emaciated, maybe a bit of an ab. speaker-1: Bit of an ab. Mm-hmm. ready ready to cook. speaker-0: ⁓ ready to go. Okay, body of Christ makes me feel ready to go. ⁓ that works. What maybe maybe an example of where do you want to go with the cr with Christ with the body of Christ. Okay. Well, you know, that's not wrong per se. We're headed again in the right direction, but that that's okay. That's okay. We're gonna get him on the next one. How about this? Prayer helps me remember. speaker-1: Maybe on a day. Prayer helps me remember not to do anything bad. speaker-0: Yeah. Okay. I mean that's mostly what prayer's supposed to be about. Okay. And the main thing of conversion therapy is making you reflect on everything that is fun for you and feels joyful. Mm-hmm. ⁓ and then actually knowing that that's wrong and bad and you shouldn't be doing it and you're going to hell if you're gonna do it. That's good. That's very good. Mm-hmm. You look speaker-1: So yeah. Mm. Okay. How many how many lives do I have left? speaker-0: I'm again this you're sort of doing video game rules. ⁓ there's no cap on lives. You're gonna walk out here alive no matter what. We're just trying to see ⁓ maybe where your head's at. You look terrified. You no one's gonna hurt you. speaker-1: Okay. ⁓ speaker-0: Okay, so you want someone to hurt. We're gonna move to the next sentence, which is my favorite of the Virgin Mary's qualities is speaker-1: I don't know. That she's a Virgo, probably. Frollica's version. speaker-0: I mean, ⁓ I don't actually know if we know when she was born, I feel maybe. But okay, Virgo Virgo's a little bit of a t when we're talking about astrology, we know that that's sort of gay code. Okay, I mean listen, we're moving from one religion, which is the gay religion of astrology, to another. And that and we're gonna help you out on that transition. Okay. speaker-1: Yeah, sorry, it's all I know. Mm-hmm. I like that she's a mother. It's good to take care of things. People speaker-0: Mm. I think that's beautiful. Is that sort of a is that sort of a hope for you on this journey of straightness that maybe you'll end up in the capacity of a mother like that, like the Virgin Mary? speaker-1: Yeah. I mean, it would be kind of cool to be able to give birth without having sex at all. speaker-0: Okay, so the logistics of it are what's attractive to you. All right. I don't know if we can promise that. Yeah, it's a lot of work to have sex to then have the baby. You think it's more work to have the sex than to have the baby? speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, 'cause I'm usually doing it for way longer than nine months. Yeah. speaker-0: You're usually having sex for way longer than nine months. speaker-1: I say that out loud. speaker-0: okay. That that is definitely something to be worried about. I mean if we're tak if we're doing these exercises to see how bad your case of homosexuality is, having sex for longer than nine months in a single period does feel ultimately harder. speaker-1: When I'm on my period, it's way shorter. speaker-0: Yeah, your period once a year? speaker-1: Yeah, a single period once a year. speaker-0: One big period. Yeah, yeah. How long does that last? speaker-1: Mm Let's move on. speaker-0: Okay, so we only have we only have two left here. I believe we could take it home. Okay. Pride means only one thing, and that's Okay, literal, but I'll take that as an answer. And how about this one? Maybe speaker-1: Proud. Maybe Pride Rock like Lion King? speaker-0: Pride means only one thing and that's maybe pride rock like Lion King. Okay, that is one thing. speaker-1: That's one thing. That's like the movie? Mm-hmm. speaker-0: Yeah, we'll we'll go with that. It's I mean, that's neither sort of a gay nor straight answer, so I think that's fine. Scar. speaker-1: Scar is a little gay. speaker-0: I guess scar is gay, but it I it's not the context of the movie, it's your reaction to it. If you had said like, ⁓ Pride Rock like Nala who I wanna sex back to speaker-1: Like Nala who I want to sex. speaker-0: sorry, it's hard talking about any sort of form of queer I just mean that's what would be a gay answer. Just a movie that has a maybe gay coded character in it. Okay doesn't determine your sexuality. speaker-1: You said it, not me. Find Nemo, finding Nemo. speaker-0: Are you citing that as an example of something gayer or more straight? speaker-1: I feel like you're trying I feel like you don't get me at all sometimes. speaker-0: off at me. Yeah, I mean, I'm just starting to get to know you right now. Okay. I'm really just trying to help find out how difficult this journey will be. speaker-1: Okay. Pride remind reminds me that I n need to be proud of myself. speaker-0: I'll take that. Okay. It wasn't necessarily inherently gay pride, so that's fine. Hm. Okay. And this is the last one. I always turn to the Bible when speaker-1: I'm like in the ch in church. speaker-0: Okay, so you turn to the Bible when you're in church. speaker-1: Sometimes like growing up ⁓ and I I played the piano, we would do like recitals at a church and so if I was at a church doing piano recital I'd see a Bible in front of me, so I would turn to it. speaker-0: Okay. Again, seems more like a logistical answer than anything else, but I'm getting a sense that you don't really have an intimate relationship with Christ and that's helpful for me in knowing what steps to take next. So we're gonna play another game. Okay. And this is called this or that. I'm gonna say I love this. You like this one? Okay. I'm gonna say two things and you're gonna choose one. Feel free to weigh the pros and cons out loud before you pick. speaker-1: Sorry, this isn't the version of the game I played growing up. It was this or that, and you'd have like two diff options of snacks. speaker-0: What was the version you played? Yeah, I don't really have any snacks. You played that growing up? Who was facilitating that? And she would play this or that. And you could choose one of the two snacks. Yeah, like cookies. speaker-1: My grandma. Or sandwich. This or that. speaker-0: Pizza sandwich. I'm not trying to be critical to your grandma 'cause that sounds like a very beautiful bonding activity. Doesn't really seem like even choices. One is a meal and one is a dessert. speaker-1: Mm. Well it's ice cream sandwich. speaker-0: Okay. Seems like maybe you just added that at the end to make me feel like I was wrong. That's okay. We're gonna play this round. And this round is again just to sort of suss out how far along your journey to straightness or how deep into the depths of queerness you are. Okay. Okay, so this or that. Monday Scripture Club or Pink Pony Club. speaker-1: Pink Pony Club. speaker-0: I was afraid you'd say that. That's fine. This or that, washing Jesus' feet, or touching lips with a femme. Mm, probably something like Sophia, maybe maybe like Amanda. Probably a ends in an A name. Is it so I mean, hell, it could be hyphenated. I don't know what lesbians are doing these days. ⁓ speaker-1: What's the fan's name? Sophia or Amanda. Manda probably knows Sophia, yes. What was the question? speaker-0: It was washing Jesus's feet or touching lips with a femme. So if it's Amanda you would rather wash Jesus's feet. Yeah. And if it's Sophia you'd rather Okay. Well I mean I would hope it was washes Jesus's feet either way, but I can understand your preferences. speaker-1: Yeah, maybe I'll wash Jesus' feet. I've never done that before, so could be kind of different. speaker-0: Like exploring a potential new interest. speaker-1: Yeah, like a new hobby. speaker-0: Yeah, okay. I mean I guess washing Jesus' feet could be a hobby. A Christian hobby. Something to keep your mind off of more sinful behaviors like I don't know, kissing kissing Sophia. Okay. This or that. Easter egg hunt or killing Eve marathon. ⁓ speaker-1: Hmm. That's a tough one. Can I do both at the same time? Watch it on my phone and then I'm looking for eggs. speaker-0: No. The idea of this exercise is that one of these things is indicative of queerness, which we're trying to move away from. Okay. speaker-1: Eggs remind me of women have eggs, you know that, right? So that's the gay thing. speaker-0: I'm aware that women carry eggs and ⁓ apparently I've learned today that some some have one big period once a year to shed that. but no the Easter it's Easter eggs. I didn't Easter eggs like ⁓ celebrating Easter. Yeast Yeast with a Y yeaster egg. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Easter egg. Yeah, sorry. I'm trying ⁓ I'm trying to become a stand up comedian, so just speaker-0: You thought conversion therapy might be a good place to speaker-1: Space to try stuff and I don't know. Sorry. Rewind, rewind. Okay. ⁓ probably I'd do the Easter egg hunt. 'Cause I already watched Killing Eve, so I don't know that I'd want to see it again. speaker-0: Okay. ⁓ all right. I mean it does mean something to me that you would choose the Easter egg hunt over ⁓ further indulging in a in a in a queer and lascivious show. Okay. This or that midnight mass or muscle mommy ass? speaker-1: Mm-hmm. ⁓ ⁓ Midnight Ass or speaker-0: No? No. speaker-1: Midnight Ass or Muscle Mommy Ass speaker-0: They're both ass. The options are not midnight ass or muscle mommy ass. It's midnight mass. Mass taking place at midnight or muscle mommy ass. Midnight mass can be a very thrilling experience. speaker-1: Midnight Mass or Muscle Mommy. What's the muscle mommy's name? speaker-0: If it's Amanda, would you say no? Mm-hmm. Okay, so Amanda's across the board. Sort of a pass on that. Okay. speaker-1: ⁓ Yeah. What if it's midnight mass and ass? speaker-0: Again, I feel like you're trying to do both, which feels incredibly bisexual of you. speaker-1: That's funny. speaker-0: Thanks. I'm also starting stand up comedy and trying some things out too. Thank you, I'll put it in my set. Great. Okay, we do have one more. Dabbing your fingers in holy water or dabbing your fingers in whole water. speaker-1: Did you like that one? I did like that one. What's whole water? speaker-0: Well water that comes from a hole. And in your case, a woman's hole. speaker-1: Like mouth? Mm. speaker-0: Hm think lower. Not throat. Chess D speaker-1: You don't like those like smoker commercials? speaker-0: I think I'm asking, damping your fingers in holy water or damping your fingers in the hole of a tracheotomy. speaker-1: Well, you never know. speaker-0: ⁓ I guess that's true. I didn't specify. Okay. I was talking about sort of a vagina or a volvo. speaker-1: Sort of a vagina. I guess the holy water I think I'm ready for that. speaker-0: Wow, okay s you just did something really hard there, which is you course corrected. Hm. You felt the initial sinful feeling coming up. Some might even say the quote unquote natural feeling come up, and you denied it in place of something I think you should be doing instead. That's what Christianity is all about. speaker-1: Single Mm-hmm. Can I just clock that you did something kind of weird and gay just then? This? speaker-0: That's an air quote. I don't think it's inherently homosexual. speaker-1: You were like s you were like sinful. speaker-0: I wasn't the quote was not sort of inwards in a fingering fashion, it was outwards. It was outwards, like an air quote. Also, I think it's crazy that you said you can I just clock that you did something kinda weird and gay just then. speaker-1: Hmm. I'm not allowed to do that, but you can. speaker-0: We're here for Yes, well I've already I've already completed my conversion therapy and you're just at the beginning of yours. speaker-1: But just cause you graduate from something doesn't mean that you can't make mistakes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. speaker-0: Or continue to learn from it. That's really beautiful. And you know what? You're right. So thank you for taking me to task and holding me account. You're welcome. I will say though, from those activities we just did, things are not looking good. I think your case of bisexuality is particularly bad. That's okay. ⁓ listen, those are the magic words. That's all we want you to be here is sorry. I do think I have someone who could help you. She's a femininity coach. Her name is Vanessa Thighgap. speaker-1: Okay, I'm sorry. speaker-0: We'll be taking a break and she'll be here when we get back. Great. speaker-1: Okay. Are there gonna be commercials right now? speaker-0: ⁓ I mean, depends if anybody feels like they want to sponsor this podcast, which feels, you know speaker-1: This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. speaker-0: I don't know if legally we could say that because I d really don't think they're gonna wanna have their names attached to something that where we're discussing hole holes. Fucking a tracheotomy hole particularly. speaker-1: This pod this spotcast is sponsored by No Smoking. Cause someone might put their fingers in that in the hole of the Does that help? speaker-0: Yeah, I think particularly you trailing off at the end there was good. Okay. Great. Hi, sorry I'm late. I was competing in a little Miss Petite beauty pageant and I was actually awarded first place, which we call ⁓ most visic visible clavicles. And so I did win that. speaker-1: Okay. Great. ⁓ congrats. speaker-0: Thank you. I'm ⁓ Vanessa Thigap. I think Toot might have int introduced me. ⁓ I'm a femininity coach, you know, I'm gonna be helping you connect to your divine feminine and we're gonna get you from Geta Nora Mall in like no time. ⁓ Mm-hmm. So how are you doing? How's it been feeling so far? speaker-1: Yeah, yeah. Cool. ⁓ good, I feel really safe. speaker-0: ⁓ that's good. It's really important to feel safe and actually, ⁓ safe is like a very queer place to be. ⁓ Because w women, ⁓ straight women sort of are defined by their feeling of lack of safety. They're gonna so we're gonna sort of get to do a place where you don't feel safe anymore. And that's gonna be really beautiful for your journey of becoming straight. And you like that. You think that's good? speaker-1: Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Are you sick? speaker-0: No. I don't get sick because I drink ⁓ a cordial every morning. A cordial? An elderberry cordial sort of a syrup. speaker-1: What what is What? speaker-0: Sort of a syrup. It's like a syrup. It's like a medical syrup. You like meeple syrup? speaker-1: Yeah, I do like maple syrup. speaker-0: There's none of that in there, that's far too sugary. Okay. So instead it's just like flower petals. speaker-1: Okay. That's it? Okay. speaker-0: That's it. And it's really good for you. That's why you never get sick. Okay, it's just 'cause I'm around a gay person, sometimes that happens. I cough sometimes. I just want to make sure I'm not getting I'm inhaling any of it, you know. speaker-1: You get sick when you're around a gay person. I have asthma. ⁓ Yeah. speaker-0: That's really hard. Must be hard. To have asthma and be gay. speaker-1: It is hard, yeah. speaker-0: I can feel us connecting already. So I mean toot filled me in a little bit. I understand fifty percent of you is good. So we talk Well, I mean you're bisexual, right? Mm-hmm. So I think fifty percent of you is good. So I'm gonna be talking to that fifty percent today. speaker-1: I didn't know the statistics. ⁓ okay. Is there a way do I have to like unlock do I have to like turn that fifty percent on or something? speaker-0: I think that's just like the fifty percent I mean, if you think you could do that right now, if you wanna try. Okay. speaker-1: Okay. What do want? You really want to You want You want me to come out? Dude, come on. It's just for the like conversion thing. Ugh. Okay. Okay, I guess I'll stop macking out with three bitches and come to the forefront of your brain. Yep. Hey speaker-0: ⁓ that's actually like really incredible to see. speaker-1: Yeah. I've never done that on camera before. Sort of like I have a headache. speaker-0: I Yeah, you were pushing really hard. You kinda got a bit of a nosebleed there for a minute. speaker-1: ⁓ that's ⁓ I have an speaker-0: That's not related. Yeah. Okay, it's unrelated. It's just sort of dry in here, maybe. It's a little dry in here. Yeah, I I get that. I get that. ⁓ I heard that you were ⁓ struggling with saying no to a girl's name Sophia. speaker-1: Yeah, it's such a pretty name. speaker-0: Mm. Names or what do it for you? I mean there's a lot of beautiful men's names like Mike or freg. Do you like Greg? Jeff? speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Okay. They're all sort of one syllable. Okay. So Fia's like three. speaker-0: Yeah. Okay, three syllable men's name. Gregory. Okay. You know that's actually incredible. Then we'll just look for guys with three syllable names for you. Okay, perfect. I know that you've been doing a lot of work with Toot so far, but we're gonna do some exercises of our own, okay? Okay. And this is gonna help me guide you into being more like good. Good instead of bad. Okay. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. speaker-0: So this exercise is called reactions. I'm gonna list some scenarios and you're gonna respond with a sound or a phrase that a lady might make if that scenario happened to her. speaker-1: Okay. speaker-0: Wow, it's like you're doing it already. So, what sound or phrase would you make if you saw a pair of suede ankle boots on sale? speaker-1: Mm-hmm. speaker-0: Okay. I mean, yeah, I mean if it's like a really good sale, if it's like ninety percent, I guess sort of a tender mode like that would be appropriate. speaker-1: ⁓ sorry. That was my thinking noise. speaker-0: Okay, so you thought now what is your answer? speaker-1: I think I would say all alright, this is exactly what I was looking for. speaker-0: Great, so you'd see his pair of suede angle boots, you'd go ⁓ speaker-1: No, that was me that was no, that was me thinking right now. speaker-0: Right, so you wouldn't be doing that at all. Okay. Okay. What sound or phrase might you make if you stubbed your toe? Okay. You like that? Okay. I guess that's not inherently gay, so that's fine. Okay. Okay. Sound or phrase if you heard someone insult Taylor Swift. speaker-1: Finally. Mm-hmm. Does anyone want to watch a movie? speaker-0: Are these phrases related to what I'm saying? Are you speaker-1: Well, if I was hanging out with my friends and someone insulted Taylor Swift, I'd be like, Hmm, I wanna watch a movie So I would ask speaker-0: Like you changing the subject? Or that makes you think of wanting to watch a movie? speaker-1: No, I'm just like that's what I wanna do if we're all hanging out. speaker-0: Okay, that's interesting. Okay, I mean there's again there's nothing really inherently gay about watching a movie, so that's fine. Okay. Okay. What sound might you make if you saw a hot guy holding a baby? speaker-1: Okay. Don't don't tell the babies a scary story. speaker-0: Does that happen frequently? Scared. ⁓ you're crying. speaker-1: Yeah, I don't want the baby to get I really don't want babies to get scared. speaker-0: Well that's really upsetting for you. I mean it's kinda beautiful. ⁓ gay people don't really care about babies from my understanding. It's a really straight thing. Really? Yeah, so that's good. Okay. Okay. If you found out your husband wasn't really on a work trip in Nevada. speaker-1: What what's Nevada w I would be like, what's Nevada? Mm-hmm. speaker-0: So you'd sort of play it cool. Like it doesn't affect you. I mean, yeah, that's really straight. speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ okay. speaker-0: What sound might you make if your heatless curls turned out perfect? speaker-1: would say perfect. Perfect heatless curls they turned out to be. speaker-0: Very formal. I I also sort of I'm recognizing I haven't heard you make your thinking noise. So this all of us has been really speaker-1: So I've been like just kinda saying what comes exactly to my mind. Okay. speaker-0: That's helpful. That's good. That's good we're gonna help shape your kind of like subconscious mind. Okay. Okay. ⁓ what's how much you make if your husband, sorry, ex husband left you for a twenty one year old waitress? speaker-1: I would say and why and why would you do that? Is it because maybe you are trying to help her get through college or something? Or is it in a s romantic way? Just for clarification Just for clarification, thanks. Best sahana. speaker-0: So that you'd say sort of an email format. Okay. Okay. okay. Yeah, that's reasonable, I guess. Again, you're playing it very cool. speaker-1: No, I'm sending an email. Yeah. Yeah, I wanna see if I can, you know, so figure it out and then react if it's actually bad. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. speaker-0: Yeah, you're trying to figure out if your husband leaving you for a twenty one year old is actually bad. It's good to think about that 'cause sometimes it could be really good. Yeah. Like maybe your husband's leaving you for a twenty one year old to like remind you that like, you know, you could be doing more in the bedroom. It's sort of like a good reminder. Okay, we both think that's speaker-1: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, like maybe I get another pillow. speaker-0: ⁓ okay, so in this scenario you don't really like your husband that much, so it's fine if he leaves. Mostly you're concerned with having enough space in the bed. speaker-1: Yeah. Is that correct? speaker-0: Really correct, but that's okay. That's okay. We have a Okay. ⁓ Sorry. A sound you might make when hearing the Barbie movie monologue. speaker-1: Case. Barbie movie monologue, the one where they're like No more rest for the wicked. No or that one? speaker-0: I think you are singing a song from Wicked, as indicated by saying the word Wicked. So no, that's not the Barbie movie monologue. It's the one America Farrear says. That's like really empowering to me, somebody who's never read a book. speaker-1: Mm. ⁓ if I r sa heard that monologue I would say Great great work writing the monologue and acting it. speaker-0: You'd say, Okay. I mean you're watching the movie, you're not sort of speaker-1: Yeah. Speaking to America. Can I say that at the movies? Can I say tell it to my friends next to me? speaker-0: You're gonna just say you're gonna watch the monologue and turn to your friend and say, Great job on the monologue. speaker-1: Yeah, I would be like they did a great job on the monologue. Well speaker-0: The way you phrased it was sort of it like you were speaking to the person speaker-1: Well let's say we're at the pr like the premiere and my friend like wrote it. Then I would say, Great job on the monologue and they acted it well speaker-0: Yes, in the scenario you've created where you're at the premiere sitting next to the person who wrote the movie and you're friends with them, that being I guess, ⁓ Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach. And you'd say great job on the monologue and great job on the acting. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, I would say Greta, great job writing this monologue. ⁓ yeah. Congrat and I say congrats everybody. speaker-0: really specify the scenario that this was happening in, so I think that's okay. speaker-1: Your voice just changed so crazy the past two seconds. speaker-0: Yeah, I mean I like I'm sort of like really trying to make sure that I'm presenting my most feminine self to you. 'Cause I don't want you to think that like I'm interested in you sexually. 'Cause Vanessa has three syllables and more. speaker-1: Okay. Okay, sorry. That's I'll be better. speaker-0: And the last one, eating cheesecake on your cheat day. speaker-1: Yes I'm free. Toppies. speaker-0: Now what was that? speaker-1: I I was gonna say top freeze a fr ⁓ free cheese cheesec cheesecake elf. speaker-0: Dobby's a free cheesecake elf. That's okay. I think Dobby's a free cheesecake elf. Again, I'm we actually love Harry Potter here because we think J.K. Rowling is really right and like everything that she says is like really cool and speaker-1: But I didn't like that. And power. That's why I didn't s like say it fully 'cause I got kind of scared because you know, gay people don't like her. But speaker-0: That's okay. There's no gay people in here. Well maybe there's half of one. Mm-hmm. But we're gonna get rid of that half. Okay? Okay, yay. You could say I love Jake and I stand by the things that she says. Okay. speaker-1: Okay. Okay, rally. I think you said that for me, so that's Did were there other questions in speaker-0: Well say it. So that's the end of that exercise. Okay, so we're gonna do some roleplay next. No, no, no like that. This is to fortify your defenses against homosexual attacks. Okay. I'm gonna play a big bud press employee trying to destroy your wardrobe. You're in the store. Okay. And I want you to reject me. I want you to really gnaw at me. Okay. Hi, welcome to speaker-1: Okay. Have a disease. I have a disease. Kenton, don't talk to me. speaker-0: Okay, I mean if you have a disease you shouldn't be in the store. Okay, you know what? That was really good. I mean, it was a kind of a creative way in to just start by yelling, I have a disease. ⁓ but it is a great way to keep gay people away from you. Okay. Alright, so let's try a scenario where you don't have a disease. Okay. And I'm gonna come at you. Yeah. Okay. Okay. speaker-1: Great, I'll leave. Okay. Okay. speaker-0: I think this painter suit would look great on you. This color would go great with your eyes. speaker-1: I think this poison would look great on you. Haha speaker-0: Okay. You know, this is actually really good. Like you're like way excelling at this. Okay. I think like you've created really interesting choices of invoking a disease and throwing poison into my eyes. ⁓ in this scenario. ⁓ that would really help I think ward gay people away because sometimes they don't understand, like you're really not interested in wearing like jorts or whatever. speaker-1: Yeah, okay. speaker-0: Okay. Great. All right, so let's do one more where this employee is actually also trying to ask you on a date. Okay. Hi, welcome to Big Bud. You're actually like kinda cute. Would you wanna do something after this? speaker-1: Like go like do something like you go to jail after this? speaker-0: Huh, you're so funny. I guess what I meant is do you want to go on a date and kiss? speaker-1: I can't I am having a problem at my house. It is on f it is on fire, I have to go blow it out. I gotta go blow it out the fire at my house. speaker-0: Okay, I mean, you must have like really strong lungs to be able to blow the fire out at your house. ⁓ do you want some help? I could come with you. speaker-1: ⁓ there are You thought there are cameras everywhere. You're being pranked right now. I'm the guy who runs the show about pedophiles. speaker-0: I think it's Chris Hansen. So this is sort of a punked but with Chris Hansen scenario. Okay. I'm just clarifying. So are you catching me in a prank or are you accusing me of being a pedophile? speaker-1: Exactly. ⁓ are we still doing the role play? Yep. Mm-hmm. I'm like basically they combined the shows and And so we got your ass. speaker-0: So in this i they combine the shows so it's finding people who are messaging underage girls and then putting them in speaker-1: No no that's not there. The combining the shows is okay, Chris Hansen, that's one part of the that show. And then the punked part is that I'm punking you by being really hot at the store and then I get you. Okay. speaker-0: Hey. Yeah, I mean you really did get me. ⁓ I thought you were gonna say like you take scenarios where you find a pedophile and then you put them in sort of like an awkward social situation as speaker-1: But we should try that next time. ⁓ speaker-0: That it's not just the cops coming after you, that it's sort of like, ⁓ we crash someone crashed into your car and now you have to pay a bunch of ⁓ okay. speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Do you still wanna hang out n after all you said all that weird stuff? Well speaker-0: Not only do I want to hang out, I'm getting down on one knee. Will you marry me? speaker-1: I I'm not real. speaker-0: You're you're a figment of my imagination. Or you're a ghost. speaker-1: I d I'm a ghost. I'm a ghost and it's crazy that you can only you can see me. This isn't gonna work because if we try to kiss then you know that's not gonna work 'cause then you're just gonna go right through me and that'll be weird. Yeah, it'll be awkward. speaker-0: Yeah, that's pretty weird. Well, maybe you died in the fire that your house is in. speaker-1: Maybe. speaker-0: Okay, wow. That was really creative, you know, 'cause a lot of the time when I'm in conversion therapy w working with people like like you like you, people who are going to hell I mean, I will be sort of doing real place scenarios like this with them and they'll be like, No, I don't want to, or like, I'm straight. But you like went straight to like I'm d dead, I've been dead for a long time. ⁓ I have a disease, poison, really creative stuff. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Thank you. speaker-0: I think that'll like really help. And also seemed to come really naturally to you. Like, how did it feel to say all that stuff? speaker-1: Thank you. Yeah. It actually all happened to me one time. speaker-0: You were drawing on personal experience? speaker-1: Yeah. Except it was someone else who was saying all that stuff to me. speaker-0: So you were working at like a bud press trying to hit on a customer and they threw poison at you. Mm-hmm. They s said they were a ghost. speaker-1: Big butt big. Mm. It was crazy. speaker-0: Okay, I mean, do you think you you'll exist now in a world where you're the person turning down a gay person? speaker-1: Maybe, yeah, maybe. speaker-0: Okay, I want an answer stronger than maybe. Like what feels like it's holding you back? speaker-1: Hm. I think that I'm not ready. speaker-0: That's fair. Don't worry, okay. Because next we're gonna do some affirmations ⁓ to help get you on the right track. And I do think repeating these affirmations after me might help you really achieve the straightness that you're looking for. So please repeat after me. I do not want to get a septum ring. speaker-1: Okay. D Sorry, did you say something? Aww. Okay. I do not want to get a Septum ring. speaker-0: You have to say it. Okay, that was really clever though to pretend like you didn't hear me. ⁓ I want to buy a candle from Bath and Body Works called Sprinkles Please. speaker-1: I want to buy a Bath and Body Works. Sprinkles, please. Candle. speaker-0: Very good. I do not want to wear Santal 33. speaker-1: I do not want to wear Santal the thirty three speaker-0: Yeah, that's a tough one for a lot of people. Okay. I do want to eat a sandwich where the bread is lettuce. speaker-1: I do want to eat a sandwich. Where's the bread lettuce? Where's the lettuce for the bread? speaker-0: Where? You took that affirmation and sort of turned it into a Jerry Seinfeld style bit. speaker-1: Mm that's what I thought you said. Where's where's the lettuce for the bread? speaker-0: You wanna have a sandwich where the bread is lettuce. speaker-1: You wanna no. speaker-0: No? You have to say I want to have a sandwich. Okay. speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ speaker-0: Where? speaker-1: Where the bird is lettuce? speaker-0: Not you're not asking for directions. speaker-1: Okay. I wanna have a sandwich where the bread is lettuce. speaker-0: Yeah, that seemed really physically to disagree with you. But you did a really great job. Okay. I do not want to do eyeliner like they do in Euphoria. speaker-1: Yeah. I do not want to do eyeliner like they do in Euphoria. Very speaker-0: Good. I want to emotionally terrorize the cashier checking me out of the grocery store. speaker-1: Hmm. I want to emotionally terrorize the cashier at Bath and Body Works. speaker-0: Okay, I mean that works too. Okay. Part of street culture is terrorizing service workers. So whether it's a grocery store or Bath and Body Works is great. speaker-1: I just like I don't really go to Bath and Body Works that often, but I will get groceries so I don't wanna like I don't want them to think I'm bad. speaker-0: ⁓ you don't wanna you're sort of doing lesser of two evils. Okay. Well I can accept that like right now in this like transitional period you're only doing it at a place you visit like once a year. Okay. but in the future I do want you to work towards places you visit every day. Okay. Okay. Do you have any affirmations of your own that you'd like to add? Any straight affirmations of your own? speaker-1: I am really tall, said speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: I have a lot of money. speaker-0: Yeah, I guess these are things that are like good for they're they're kinda just good in general. What about something straight? speaker-1: I'm normal, I'm normal, I swear. speaker-0: That sounded more like pleading. speaker-1: ⁓ okay. speaker-0: Sa say something that you wish would be true about your journey to straightness. Like what do you wish would happen? speaker-1: I wish the guacamole at Chipotle was free. speaker-0: Are you trying out more stand up? Is that speaker-1: ⁓ no, ⁓ yeah, I guess so. speaker-0: Okay, that's fine. Do you have any questions for me, you know, anything you want help with specifically about like being like a really good like Christian lady? speaker-1: What's your skincare routine? speaker-0: ⁓ wow, that's a really good question. Okay, so what I do is I do a double cleanse. ⁓ and then Usually like mm my husband is like watching a sports game and like one of the kids will start screaming, so I'm like, Hey, can you deal with that? And he's like, I'm watching a game and so like I kinda stop after the double cleanse and like I run down and like it's one of the kids like had tried to climb up on one of the cabinets and he fell off and he like bonked his and I'm like, We have to to the hospital and then he's like, Whatever, like the giants are winning and so then I'm like, Okay, well like maybe he doesn't really have to go to the hospital but then ⁓ the next time I go to the doctor's appointment with the kid, like we have to put helmet you're like babies wear a helmet because when he fell and it hit his head it like made his head look like an egg shape like a big tall egg shape because it like scorched it a little bit and like got scorched and so they put the helmet to kind of like de-squorch it and then ⁓ I realized like ⁓ my god it's been days I like didn't even put any lotion on like I can't look like I'm older than 25 because you know like I'm already losing my husband's attention so then when I get home I like ⁓ do like microneedling and I do sort of like a home kit and it feels Like it's like microneedling itself, great, the way I'm doing it, it's not good. Are you you're nodding? That feels okay. Anyways, that's sort of what my skincare routine is. speaker-1: So you do that every time? speaker-0: Yeah, pretty much. My kid falls off the counter a lot. And his head is his egg. Yeah, it's like scorched up. It's like when a basketball's deflated, sort of looking. like medically no. But I feel okay about it. I think the helmet's gonna help. speaker-1: Is it really scored? That's really sad. Yeah. Is he okay? Okay. Yeah. Okay, thank you. I'll do all that. I'll do all that. Okay. speaker-0: Is there anything like that you particularly struggle with? Like what's one of the things like you're really nervous to let go about queerness? Like are you like speaker-1: ⁓ I was telling Toot that I'm scared to be bad at dancing. speaker-0: ⁓ yeah, you have to be really bad. You have to like mostly only be excited by songs that were popular in two thousand five. You know. You have to be like really into the killers. but you can't be dancing on beat. On sort of the ones and threes instead of the twos and fours. Yeah, it's hard. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. That seems harder than dancing good. So that's what I'm scared of. Mm-hmm. But how long? speaker-0: Mm-hmm. I mean for me it's really easy. I've been straight a long time. Mm how old am I? Twenty two? Or about twenty years. A woman never tells her age. Really? Yeah. speaker-1: What How old am I? No. speaker-0: A woman never tells another person's age either. Mostly because she doesn't know. speaker-1: ⁓ okay, that makes sense. speaker-0: Yeah. Sorry. I tell people that I'm eighteen, but I'm actually seventeen. speaker-1: So y you did tell me your age. speaker-0: Well, am I seventeen or am I fourteen? speaker-1: You're going lower? There's no way you're fourteen. speaker-0: Maybe. I guess if I'm now fourteen I'm probably like ten. speaker-1: You're not ten. There's no way you're ten. You do you really think you're ten? speaker-0: No, but like I my complexion is like I'm ten. speaker-1: Maybe. Do you really think that? speaker-0: Do I think my complexion is like I'm ten years old? Well, yeah, when I get enough sleep. And when I ha when I get enough sleep I don't have to take my squashed head son to the doctor all the time. His head's all squashed up and then I like never even getting any sleep and then I look like I'm like frickin' eleven years old. Do you gap between ten and eleven? speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Okay. Eleven's like a year older. You really think you could look? ⁓ That's true. A lot happens between that time. Mm-hmm. speaker-0: That's sort of what I'm aiming for. And that's what you should be aiming for too on your journey to be straight. Is sort of having the docility and skin of a ten year old, the pride and power of an eleven year old, and the ability to attract a man like a speaker-1: Hmm. What? Please don't say something. Okay. That's kind of still kinda bad. speaker-0: Looks like a nine year old. speaker-1: Ugh that's too young. speaker-0: Okay, I mean you'll learn. I actually do have to go, unfortunately. I heard someone crinkle a wrapper in the other room and I just really can't be around that. But I'm gonna have to check in with you in about six months and we're gonna see how your straight journey is going, okay? speaker-1: Where are you going? Okay, great. speaker-0: Welcome back Sahana. It is so nice to have you here on the podcast Conversion Therapy. And might I say you look great? Do you still go by Sahana or do you use a new name? speaker-1: People call me names behind their back, but that's just 'cause they're jealous. speaker-0: ⁓ wow, so things have been things are different for you now. speaker-1: Difference a bit of an understatement, don't you think? speaker-0: Well, you certainly have a new attitude coming in here. I I'm curious, what's new? What's changed since I last saw you? Do you have a a new job? speaker-1: I'm set to be prom queen, and Josh and I are going to prom together, and I'm also a landlord. speaker-0: Wow, okay, so a lot to unpack here. Not only are you back in high school and dating a high school boy, speaker-1: Wouldn't you like to know? speaker-0: Okay. but you're also a property owner and a landlord. And what's the property that you own? What's it like? Is it a apartment complex or a business? speaker-1: Yeah. I own multiple properties and I kind of rule the school. speaker-0: So you're sorta like a mean girl landlord who is actually also literally in high school. speaker-1: Ugh, I don't really care about what you have to say. Is that okay? speaker-0: Wow, you know, something that's really incredible about our meeting right now is despite the fact that you're a lot more ⁓ confrontational than when I saw you last time, you are incredibly straight. It's these past six months have absolutely changed you. Okay, so you own multiple properties and what do these properties look like? Like how did you design them, the interiors of them? What do they look like? speaker-1: Pink bed, pink closet, pink TV, and tiny dog. Every single property has pink and a tiny dog. That's speaker-0: Cool. So it's sort of ⁓ you know, v hyper feminine. I think that that's pretty incredible. speaker-1: I'm sorry. Waiter, can I get a mocha frappuccino with two pumps of peppermint, cinnamon latte qu please? Thank you. speaker-0: Okay. Well we'll get that for you. We'll get s we'll get ⁓ one of the altar boys to run out and get that for you, no problem. speaker-1: Bast What are you looking at? speaker-0: That's pretty incredible the fact that you, you know I would love to know what you think. speaker-1: You know what I think? I think you're too scared of me. And you know why? It's because your mommy didn't speaker-0: I'm listening. speaker-1: I think you're scared because your mommy didn't love you enough. And that's a truth that you'll never accept. speaker-0: Wow, ⁓ that's very cutting, you know. I will say my my relationship with my mother was complicated, but by the time she passed away we were re we were able to reconnect, mostly due to my ⁓ dedication to becoming a a proper, good, straight Christian man in the eyes of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. ⁓ but you really have this sort of piercing and incisive way of scratching into someone's skin and exposing their vulnerabilities, which I must say is incredibly straight. I mean, unless you're a gay man, we're pretty good at that too. But I do think that the changes you're showing me are very powerful. I so you have these very pink apartment complexes. That's great. Do they have do they have names? Like you you name the apartment complex something? speaker-1: Thank you. Brittany, Alyssa and Tritney. speaker-0: Trittany. Okay. I think that that's great and I'm sure that there's a ⁓ an absolutely massive market that. speaker-1: Talking, you're making me lose my mind. speaker-0: Okay, fair enough. We'll change the subject. You say that you're with someone named Josh, what's he like? speaker-1: He's the football captain. speaker-0: Okay, so you genuinely are dating a boy who's in high school. He's a football captain and sh what do you two like what's an what's a date night look like between you two? speaker-1: We hang out and we have the best sex of our lives. It makes everybody jealous. It's so loud that the neighbors complain. What? You should come to a party sometime. speaker-0: Well I'm glad to what? Seems like you're inviting me, but you don't actually really want me there. speaker-1: No, you should come. It'll be so much fun. Everybody will want you there. You should wear that stupid little outfit that you'd like to wear. speaker-0: Mean my like priest robes? speaker-1: Yeah, it's a great outfit. speaker-0: This is crazy, you know, it feels like I'm back in high school, like I'm being bullied or something, but okay, if you say so, I'd love to come to a party. speaker-1: We're best friends. speaker-0: I mean, okay. I I do consider us pretty close, quite frankly. We we've experienced a lot together. Your sh your straight journey. So okay, so you're dating this boy named Josh and you're ⁓ I'm assuming he's eighteen because you're having incredibly loud sex. That's exciting. So what goals do you have for the future? You know, marriage, children, other businesses. What is your hope for your next step? speaker-1: Can I be clear, I'm not I'm actually in high school. speaker-0: Okay, so your journey to straightness has been sort of being reborn as a seventeen year old girl. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Does that make sense or is it too much for your little brain? speaker-0: Yeah, I mean it does make sense to me. It's just the fact that you were also a landlord of multiple properties made me think your age maybe wasn't seventeen. speaker-1: Hmm. You like asking a lot of questions, don't you? Is that your favorite thing? speaker-0: I I'd say I do like to get to know somebody, yes. speaker-1: Hmm. I bet your second favorite thing is looking in the mirror and realize how dumb you look. speaker-0: Now that's not very nice. That's not very nice at all. It almost seems like speaker-1: I'm just kidding, you're my best friend. Remember? speaker-0: No, I know that part of being a a a straight woman is choosing like, you know, a very strong feminine identity and I do feel like gaslighting teenage girl is a is a pretty beautiful one. I mean, for you, this straight journey, mm-hmm. Do you ever have doubts or second guesses? Do you ever look back on the person who you were before and miss parts of who you were? speaker-1: No. You know, there are a lot of girls in my school who are lesbians, and I think it's because their mommy didn't love them enough. And that's all they'll be. Sad, insecure, and I think they could be like me if they just tried. But they never will. And so they never will. speaker-0: You know, that's pretty wise advice. They never will so they never will. That's that, I'd say. Well, okay, so you have prom coming up. Have you been making preparations for that? ⁓ what what does your dress look like? speaker-1: My dress is gonna be amazing. Mm-hmm. It's pink, it's long, it's floral, mm-hmm, and it'll match the crown. ⁓ speaker-0: Okay, so it's got a rhinestone ⁓ applique. That's pretty great and it's very straight, I mean quite aligned with that. what are you hoping what songs are you're hoping will will be played at prom? Will you be doing any dancing there? speaker-1: I don't really care to dance. But if I do, it's gonna be really bad and stiff. speaker-0: Wow. You know, I remember a version of you that I was talking to months and months ago now, who's so worried of losing their sense of rhythm and it's like I'm seeing a whole new woman in front of me today. Wow. Exciting. speaker-1: Thank you. You know, I heard Eric has a crush on you. speaker-0: Eric, like is that somebody you go to school with? speaker-1: Mm-hmm. Maybe you should talk to him. speaker-0: Feels like you're sort of baiting me into a potentially embarrassing experience, but you have to know I don't date men anymore and I certainly would never date any boys in high school. speaker-1: No you really should. In fact, use this use this. It's a special sauce that makes you shine. speaker-0: Okay, well you just handed me a bottle of lube. You want me to put this on and talk to a boy in high school? I mean priests don't really have that great of an image as it is. I don't think I should be doing that. I really have left all that behind. I haven't had any sort of sinful thoughts towards men. Well, never towards boys, but towards men in years. I I appreciate you trying to help me find love, though. That's kind of you. speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ Hmm. Sit with us at lunch and we'll tell you more. speaker-0: Okay, I mean yeah, one of the altar boys used to grab any coffee. We can grab some lunch and speaker-1: Where is my mocha frappuccino with two pumps of maple syrup and coffee latte, pumpkin spice, peppermint mocha caramel? speaker-0: She'd be here any minute now. I mean you added a couple extra syrups. I'm not sure we'll be able to cover all of that. But we will try our best. there is something I was curious about in having you back here, you know, after since you've changed so much, is what's the biggest lesson you think you've learned in leaving bisexuality behind? speaker-1: Biggest lesson I've learned is when you get to the top and you look down. Looks like everyone's like a tiny little ant. And that's what they'll be. And that's what they'll always be. Tiny little ants. And now that I'm at the top, it's kind of lonely. Empty almost. There's not as much people at the top. But I've won. And that's all that matters is winning. speaker-0: Well, that's definitely one through line you've had s since pre conversion is you've always been very interested in winning. It seems like in your own way you've won. You've been quite successful. I mean, hell, I'd say you've won in the eyes of the Lord. Given that you've You are you crying? speaker-1: No, I just have allergies. speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: Aller Jesus. speaker-0: Allergesis. Okay, well that's fine. I mean, it's alright to be emotional, you know, there's a really tough journey you've been on. speaker-1: I think it's wrong to be bisexual and lesbian. Unless it's a prank. speaker-0: Okay, so there maybe is still some threads of bisexuality in your life in ⁓ in a in a way that you classify as a joke. speaker-1: If it's a joke, then it's not serious. Especially if you're doing it as a joke to become prom queen. If you kiss a bunch of women to get them to vote for you for prom queen, it's just strategy. speaker-0: All right, I mean, using sinful behavior as a means to an end, I suppose isn't as morally reprehensible as being queer. speaker-1: Ugh, all you do is talk, talk, talk. Get to the point. speaker-0: I guess what I'm saying is is I can't tell if you're indulging in a habit that you haven't been able to kick or if you've truly graduated from being bisexual and you're now straight straight woman. Big big gulp right there. Okay. Yeah. Look okay. It's okay. Listen, you've been doing a lot of hard work and I see that. speaker-1: We should go to the mall. There's a big sale. speaker-0: You're like sort of glinting a knife at me, it's become very violent. I understand speaker-1: Is that bad? Is it bad to be violent just so you can win Prom Queen and be the best landlord? speaker-0: I mean, listen, these are the two wishes of every young woman in America to win prom queen and become a landlord. So I don't blame you. Well, it's been really wonderful to check in with you here seeing how much you've changed and seeing how in your power you are. And I was wondering if there are any social media accounts we should absolutely avoid before you say goodbye. Things that we shouldn't be looking at in your in your ⁓ you know, seem to be prom clean perspective. speaker-1: You know, there was a girl I once knew. She was smart, funny, beautiful, kind of off putting. I used to follow her and the things that she posts worry me. speaker-0: Okay. speaker-1: And her account is Sahana underscore underscore Srinivasan. If you're so inclined. speaker-0: Okay. So Hana underscore underscore Serenivassin. Alright. ⁓ that's great. I mean, I'll be sure to avoid that page for sure. Do you try and kiss this person to get them to vote for you for prompting? speaker-1: Where is my mocha frappuccino latte with pumpkin spice caramel macchiato peppermint latte mocha pumpkin spicy caramel latte cream and straw salt and straw? Where is it? speaker-0: Spicy. Okay, well we'll get that to you right away. I just want to say thank you again so much for coming on and you know, for really experiencing this conversion therapy with me. I think you ⁓ no What was that? speaker-1: No idea. speaker-0: Sort of a yelp, sort of a cry. speaker-1: Lie lie out I don't wanna be straight anymore. Seriously, guys. Seriously speaker-0: It's kind of a interesting attitude. Still maybe testing those stand-up that stand-up persona while knitting to speaker-1: Seriously, guys, seriously. My herends out there please what the hell? No, seriously, what the hell? speaker-0: Okay. ⁓ seems like you have some other things to work through, but we're gonna continue our our our program together to make sure that you are able to become the most beautiful prompt queen landlord that you could possibly be. Thank you so much for for coming on conversion therapy. speaker-1: You're welcome. Is that what you want to hear?