Mike Schneider: Welcome into the Two Dads One Mic podcast. name's Taylor, this is Mike. What's up? And we are back again from that awesome segment that we just had with Cole the last episode. ⁓ that was so good. That was so fun. Really good conversation. that, yeah. If you did not watch or listen to the last episode, please go visit colekleesner.com and see some bomb ass art. I'm going to say it again. He's a freak. When you said that, I'm like, you just paused. Just don't say anything else. Just be like, Cole, you're a freak. And hard stop. Yes, correct. Period. That's it. Right, exactly. No, that was a lot of fun. He might not realize how often he's going to be on a podcast. He could definitely be a fill-in or a third party candidate to this. So I'm down for that. So as always, we start the night off with a drink of the show. Mike, what do we have this evening? We have... So it is finally offered in Wisconsin after 10,000 years of it not being offered in Wisconsin. We were like reverse spotted cow. They're in the Dells, is this correct? The Yuengling aren't they? I thought they were building a facility in the Dells or something like That'd be awesome. Yeah, I'd have to look at it again, but I could be wrong. No, but they're the oldest. privately owned continual running ⁓ brewery in the world. ⁓ It has great beer. It's one of those you could only get it like into Indiana. Like that's Just like the Chicago Bears. So yeah, we have a traditional lager. I only reference it as Yuengling. So I don't know if... I don't know if they have other beers, I've never looked at it. This is what I've always had when I've had a Yngling. It's the same thing every time. It's a traditional lager. Right. I know what it is, I know what it tastes like, and I can't wait. Yep. Alright, perfect. Cheers. ⁓ that's good stuff. That's yummy. That's the stuff hostess. Anyways, so it's a topic of tonight's show is we want to talk about and I know it's a very touchy subject amongst the parenting world. We want to talk about gentle parenting and specifically we want to talk about old versus new and how gentle parenting kind of relates to all of it. And what's a good mix and all of that fun stuff? Yeah, I think we've done. We did a similar type of comparison model ⁓ in an episode we recorded about marriage. ⁓ And we compared what marriage was back in the day, what it was for our grandparents, our parents, what it is now, how that's changed, how we interpret it, all that stuff. ⁓ And we've touched on gentle parenting before. In in earlier episodes we have and we haven't we just never really got around to doing that particular episode until today Yeah, so we we we want to kind of take the time give our tooth or two cents on Our tooth and our tooth and decide Mike But like I also want people to understand There isn't only one right way to parent. That's correct. Right? Our views, what we do might not work for you, your child. Yeah, what works for me doesn't work for you. Right? So every everything's a little different. And I think that's one of the biggest things we need to keep in mind is like, we might talk about what works for us or what our viewpoints are. And they might be different. And that's okay. 100%. And we're not saying that this is the only way or that we're like, I'm not gonna condemn someone who does stuff a little differently. No. You know? No. Unless you're whooping ass. Then I might condemn... Whooping that ass! I might condemn that. again, you know, that's what... To me, that's what parenting used to be. And I'm not saying that was because that was my physical experience. ⁓ My experience as being parented... was, was more on the, the gentler side, right? I, I don't think I ever really got spanked except when like I would get mad and like try to hit my dad or something like that. And then, then he would hit me back however hard I hit him. Like if I hit him on the leg, he'd hit me on the leg. Like he would just do what I did to him back. show like, Hey. Right. And it was never. It was never like, I'm getting, you know, come here. I'm to whoop your ass. Get over here. Like give me that fucking belt. Yeah. It was, was never that which I'm thankful for. ⁓ but, ⁓ so like my, my experience is, that, but let's start at the back in the day. Sure. Right. Like What do you picture when someone says parenting back in the day? So to me, feel like when you talk about, and this is more like I would say like our parents being parented, right? Yeah. And so like I feel even before then, I feel like there was probably a lot of ass whoopings. You know what mean? Like there's probably belts and hands and and you know, other things that, you know, parents would use as a form of discipline. Now, Like when you talk about school, right? Like there was the nunnery and there was just parents or teachers in general that would have paddles. Can we just talk about how seemingly The nuns were the most abusive. Yeah, 100%. Group of teachers and authoritarians. Now this is old school nuns. We're talking like very old school, not modern day nuns. Right? I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't feel like the nunnery is that's like not as a popular thing as it used to be. Is nunnery a word? I don't know. I mean, I'm making it up. I mean, maybe it could be. Actually, I'm going to look it up. Keep talking. I'm going to go out on limb and say that is not the term for it. but no, I I would be, ⁓ I would be surprised if we, we still had that type of discipline in almost any form of like, like regular education. A nunnery is a building or complex often called a convent or monastery where a community of nuns lives together under religious vows. No shit. You're welcome. I'll be here all night. No, not all night because I'm tired as shit. But no, so I mean, yeah, so like you are right. Like nuns back in the day were very abusive, essentially. And, know, that shit definitely would not fly in today's society. ⁓ You know, I feel like when we'll get into the modern day parenting here in a little bit, but I feel like kids back then were scared shitless. Right. And I think that to me, it's one of those where that used to work and that was acceptable back yonder. And so I feel like parenting in general, not the because none are parents, but like, I feel like just the parenting side of that also was a relatable situation. What did you say about nuns being parents? They're not parents. Well, yeah. Right. I thought that. For a second I thought there was question. no, no, no, Well, there's not much question in there. No, there's no question. They are not parents. Just a statement. ⁓ But yeah, so I think the parenting side of that too, back yonder, is probably a similar aspect of how they would discipline a kid. Not all, but some. So was that? Do we think we've improved? is what we do today, is that better than what happened back then? And I'm asking the question for the point of discussion. Is that a press report? That's a pitzer pot. We're close enough too. Oh my God. That's close enough. All right. Cheers to I'll take that. To answer your question, no. I don't think that we've improved enough as a society, parental society, because I think that there are a lot of kids that, and we'll get into this because I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time now, but there's a lot of parents that allow their children to be dicks. And they're without repercussions of being that, right? Like I've always told my children, you're never going to leave this house. disrespect an adult at school. Never, it's never gonna happen. And if you do that, this is what's gonna happen instead. Like we will, I will drag you and your little behind to the school and we will apologize and we will write a letter. And whatever else I decide between then and there. Yeah, I... I have a thought. Sure. And it came from watching a clip ⁓ as we kind of discussed this beforehand. All of sudden, I started getting fed clips of not necessarily parenting, but more theories of how to be an adult ⁓ in the mindset of a parent, right? And I almost I asked a question of did we is what we're doing. We is like kind of general society, right? Are we doing better than what it was back in the day? What which was you do what I say? You don't talk back or I'm going to beat your ass. Right in that regard, yes, we have improved most likely as a society, but but hear me out. have we just gone too far? Right? Like on the continuum of like over on the left side is, is whooping ass, you know, the switch, all that stuff, the belt, the paddle, all that stuff over here. And then we have what we constitute as gentle parenting today, which to me, I constitute the, gentle parenting as the overboard. ⁓ You do whatever you want and and like whatever makes you happy you do like Kids still need structure. I I think The gentle parenting has gone too far, right? We need something in the middle Yes, where we're not abusing and and traumatizing kids I feel like what we do you and I'm gonna put you in this conversation because because because we both see we we both see it enough from you know, each other's sides, where it's like, okay, like somebody's getting yelled at, correct? But what led up to the yell, right? And that's the biggest thing. And that's when you talk about the middle, and I think that's a great point, where it's like, you're not whooping somebody's ass. That's not what, that's not gonna happen. But what you're doing is you're trying to give them an ample opportunity to correct the error or mistake that they are currently making. So like, for example, if they aren't listening, right? And you ask them to pick something up from the ground and they don't do it. And you've given them three times, right? Should not take three times, right? But again, their kids and their attention span is like a gerbil. You know? But when you get to that fourth time, okay, now I'm gonna raise my voice to a point where if you're still not gonna listen, then I'm gonna get louder every time you don't hear me. Because... It shouldn't have to be that, but that's what sometimes it takes to get the kids to pay attention to certain things. Now, that's not all the time, right? Like you may be like two times in, hey, pick this up. They don't do it. Pick it up. They do it. No big deal. But there's days in a lot of parents who potentially see this or listen to this can understand where it's like, okay, I'm going to lose my ever forsaken mind. if this kid does not listen to me the fifth time that I've asked them to do something. You know what I mean? ⁓ yeah. Well and part of the expectation that is put on us as parents is to... When we're talking about gentle parenting is, is operating void of, of taking into account our state of mind. Yeah. Our frustration for the day, our, our patients tolerance are, you know, how quick our fuse is that day or that moment, ⁓ based on what we've had going on today, ⁓ other stressors that we have. Right. So, well, sometimes. Which is one of, to me, of the hardest things of being a parent is trying to respond appropriately to whatever that is, right? When you're asking them to pick it up, yes, you want them to pick something up. You want them to pick this object up, right? You've asked them three times, they're not listening. It's driving you bonkers, right? yeah, 100%. But depending upon... the rest of the day or the rest of that week and how things have been going. that a lot of times will help dictate the level of yelling the level of your tone, like your tone of voice. And I'll be the first to admit, and I do this with my kids often. I'll lose my shit like I did the other day at the gym when my kid, my second oldest was just a space cadet. Can we, can we sidetrack for a second? Can I tell that story to the audience here? From your view, please. From my point of view. Okay. So we joined a gym recently. It's a new gym for us and my family and it's, it's been great. And we decided that we wanted to have Mike here and his family try to give it a try. And they've been thinking about potentially signing up, you know, here eventually, but, uh, they got a day pass. And so with that day pass, we all went swimming. And like, there's just some days where it just be like this, you know what I mean? It just be like this. so the kids get in, they do their guest pass, we're getting to the locker room. That's a family locker room. My family gets dressed, Mike's three other kids all dressed already. Mike is dressed and ready. And then all of a sudden. Mike's second oldest is standing there, fully clothed. Still in his winter coat. Just still in his winter coat, staring directly at Mike. And he, like, you could tell there's something wrong. I just looked at him like, what's up? Yeah. And he's like, I need to get dressed. Mike's like, I know you need to get dressed. What are you doing? Solve the problem. Well, these lockers that they're putting their stuff into, he accidentally locked because they're like a number system. You can like set your own code, there's a little thing, procedure to do it. He couldn't remember the code. The look on Mike's face was like, what the fuck are we doing today? I am surprised. Now, I'm not necessarily proud of my, how much that was driving me nuts and my reaction towards him. I was proud that I didn't beat his ass. ⁓ No, it was so, was one of those like, I just need you, like you can get your suit, you can get your, we brought a basketball and a bag, like just get your own stuff together. You're nine, you can do this. So my wife and I are standing there and I say to my wife, I'm like, let's take the kids, all the kids. So we have Mike's three kids and our kids, let's just go to the pool. Mike will see us, it'll be all good to go. And then we turn around and Mike's voice just like. gets louder and louder and louder. I was slowly dying inside. So anyways, sorry, sidetrack. We'll get back to track now. So I have, I will a lot of times have a reaction like that or something where I am not regulating my emotions. Same, I feel like I'm not. But you know, we're trying to teach our kids how to regulate their emotions. That's what they're learning. And that's what this kid, Right now, his biggest thing is you ask him a question and he goes from zero to 9,000 % and all defensive and stuff like that. And it's like, dude. I'm just asking a question. Like, I just asked a question. was a matter of tonight. It was a matter of, you know, hey, you didn't take your vitamins and fiber gummies and stuff last night. make sure you take them tonight. And he's like, did I do last night? No, I put four piles. Right. You're already putting it out. Like I put it out on the counter. As I'm putting my youngest to bed, I sent an announcement on our Alexa and said, boys, please take your multivitamins. My oldest took his and then the other two didn't take theirs. So I'm like, okay. It's not a big deal. It's not like it's a crucial prescription. Like it's a multivitamin and some fiber. That's it. It's get you shitting. Right? Get you shitting. If he doesn't get that, he's not a shitting. And then that's when he plugs my toilets. But no, so it really wasn't a big deal. I'm just like, yeah, like take them tonight. Like make sure you take them because you didn't take them last night and he just goes off the rail. Right. So like we're trying to teach how to regulate emotions. But also I'm not that good at regulating mine. Right? Like to be honest, when shit's hitting the fan, when I'm trying to get the four kids ready to go swimming, and this is part of the reason why my wife gives me shit all the time. Because if I'm home with the kids or like have a day where I'm solo on the kids, I stay home. I don't go anywhere. Like they can play, they can do their own thing. They have neighbors to play with. And you know what? That's like that. And that is totally my wife is like, we need to get up out this fucking house right now. We need to go do something. Yeah. Keep them occupied. I'm like, that stresses me out too much. Right. So like I first step is admitting it. Right. That's correct. Good for you. I admit it. Right. I know. But this isn't as I told my wife. I'm just not, we're just not going to go today. Like she had, she was doing something else in the morning and I was just like, you know what? Like we don't need to go today. We'll just leave it be. And then you guys text like, Hey, we're going, are you guys going to join us? I'm like, well, that would be fun. Like, like, I'll do it. Like, yeah, make sense. of spur the momentum thing. But the expectation for our kid to handle their emotions when I still struggle doing that myself. is is a little kind of unfair, right? They're still learning and they learn from us and what we do more than what we tell them. Yeah. Clearly. Right. 100%. Because I tell them all sorts of shit and they don't remember it. Like, hey, get dressed before we go in the pool. Take off your winter coat before we go in the pool. the locker. Don't lock the locker. all these, right? Yeah. That stuff doesn't sink in. So I will, a lot of times, after I get through a situation and I've been allowed to remove myself mentally from it and like kind of step back and be like, all right, I didn't handle that well. I'll go talk to the kids and be like, you know what? I need to apologize to you. Like, because I didn't handle that well. That's a pizzerpot. Cheers. ⁓ yeah, sure enough. And, I'll explain to them, like, this is what I did wrong. This is why I'm saying this. Like, I'm sorry. But when in this situation, like you need, you are old enough to be able to do X, Y, Z, like have a conversation about it. Stop being a pain in the ass. Yeah. It's so hard, but, and I think the, parenting level, like the not gentle parenting. Right? Not, not way on the spectrum of that, but not on the other side of the spectrum of a just whooping ass, just to whoop ass. Whoop ass? Is, is somewhere in the middle and- Oh, you know what we should do is put like a segment of like Stone Cold Steve Austin. be like, uh, what he, what he used to say? Fuck. Open a can of whoop ass. That's what he That's he used to say. Yeah. Correct. Correct. Um, but no, but being able to self correct. And self-reflect as a parent, I think is important. And I think our generation is starting to do that more where we can look back and be like, I fucked up there. Right? Like next time I need to. Or like in the past, feel like it's been like, and maybe we ask people who were parented in, you know, ⁓ older generation to see like, do you think that this was happening, this type of like, cause I feel like we're like our grandparents parented our parents. I don't think they're looking back and be like, shouldn't have spanked his ass so hard. He got what was coming because he didn't do exactly what I said when I said it, all that stuff. Right. But I feel like the emotional baggage that comes with that eventually as you become an adult then. then that carries. And then now we've like swung the pendulum is swung, right? And now everyone's too concerned about how little Johnny's going to react to it. And you, I feel like getting somewhere in the middle where you can find the balance of like, I'm going to, I'm going to acknowledge your emotions as a kid. What are you feeling? Tell me like, have that open line of communication because I'm not saying that my parents didn't have an open line of communication with me on that. But I think naturally I just didn't communicate any of that. Like I don't know that it was anything like I can't remember. Like, ⁓ yeah, if I, if I spoke up, that was it. Like that, I just got more trouble. So I, like, I don't remember any specific thing like that, that, but I think just naturally. I just hold it in and just wouldn't share any of that because and now, no, now I see my son doing the same thing. I can tell he's like visibly upset, but he literally won't talk. I'll sit there. I've sat there for 45 minutes, just like, Hey, whenever you want to talk, I'm here. And he literally will just sit there and scowl and stare at the same point on the wall the whole time. Sure. And It's hard to get any sort of like, what's, what are you upset about? Yeah. Right. So try to be conscious of that, but doing, being able to self evaluate and like correct and be like, okay, that was bad. What, how I did that there. But then also being like, all right, little Johnny, can, like, this is the expectation. can shut the f- Shut the- You can take this can of whoop ass. But no, like, you can still set clear boundaries and expectations. That's correct. And have them have the natural consequences without ⁓ literally a scarred ass. So let me ask you this question then. that's like obviously we're talking old school versus new school here. So I want to know from your perspective. When, like for me personally, I'll be honest, the gentle parenting thing drives me, like just just strictly gentle parenting drives me nuts. And like I know I need to practice probably more of that just because I catch myself being all nuts. But at the same time, it's like, man, like I've already told you 15, in times to get the stuff done and you're not doing it. So when is it okay for me to lose the control and to be able to be like, okay, now I'm yelling or having to get my point across in a loud, overbearing voice? Well, yeah, and that, think, setting up those natural consequences for them and following through is how... And that's the thing that I don't do enough of. do on gentle... parenting, right? Yeah. But I feel like the way we parent, because they're pretty similar parenting styles. Yeah. The way we parent, which is more of a communicative way of parenting. We're going to talk this through, we're going to figure this out. I'm not just going to beat your ass, but I feel like my grandparents would say that's gentle parenting. Yeah, fair enough. We're saying gentle, gentle pairing the the the farthest point on the spectrum of gentle parenting is not holding your kid accountable, letting them do whatever they want, whenever they want, let them control you, which in sometimes you have to do that to save a moment. Well, right. that's overall, you're the adult and setting the clear expectations of like You know, let's use an example and I heard this in this one of the clips I saw recently. You got to go to Aunt Jemima's 85th birthday party. Kids not going to have a whole lot to do there. It's going to be boring for them. They're not going to want to go. You sit down and say, look, this is what we're doing. They're going to complain, I don't want to go. And you let them do that. Be like, all right, cool. I know you don't want to go. And I'm sorry that this isn't fun for you, but this is a family commitment. Our whole family is going. So like tell me, get all your frustrations, all your whining and stuff. Get that out of the way now, cause we will not have it there. like holding those expectations and allowing them to still communicate those feelings I think is, important, but also having the, the, the spine to say, No, you're still doing this. Like just because you don't want to do it, you're still doing it. Right. Right. And not letting them dictate that like, ⁓ we can't go because little Johnny is. Well, and that's what I want to go. guess for me, it's like that's what drives me like bananas. And maybe I maybe I worry too much about my own. Like maybe I worry too much about other people's problems. Right. And I feel like that's like a common thing for most people is like what? Explain that more. So like, for example, if I see if I go to the park, OK. and I take out my kids and my wife's there with me and I see another kid disrespecting his parents, it fucking drives me bonkers. Like I feel almost obligated in that scenario to walk up to that kid and be can't whoop their ass. Well, no, number one. But number two, but I feel like it's an obligation for me to walk up to this kid and be like, don't do that. Yeah. Like the heck it matter. You know, what's wrong with you, dude? And or talk to the parents, be like, you're going to let him do that. Don't let him walk all over you. And it's like, and this is where I think I've gotten better at communicating the line in the sand, right? Because love my mom to death, right? But my mom and I are pretty close in age. She's not fairly on the younger side. Don't ever say, tell her I said that. But you know, like we're, we're more, we're friends. ⁓ She is like I respect the mom thing, right? Yeah, but like we are definitely because we are so close in age We have more in common as like a friendship would have in common. Yeah, right But I I'm on this spectrum here is like I want to be a fun parent I want to do the cool shit, but at the same time I Can't just let that line in the sand just disappear because there needs to be a boundary, right? Yeah, because if they're if they're saying something to me in a certain way I don't want them to say that same thing to a teacher or an adult who may not think that's funny or deal with that situation. So, you know, I guess it's one of those where going back to the gentle parenting part of this, I just, I can't do it all the time. And I don't think anybody, like any normal individual really can. No, well, there's certain people that do. That's just kudos. No, mean, two points. don't think that's healthy, though. But that's the thing. It's not healthy for the child or the adult. 100%. And you're catching all sorts of judgment from me. And you, apparently. Yes, correct. But like having your kid, like our kids control our lives. Yeah. But not in the same way that someone who is on the far far side of the gentle parenting spectrum. They control the scheduling part of our lives. Yes. But not our lives like other parents would allow their children to control. control our lives because we want to do things with and for them. Right. We want to make it fun. Yes. That's how they control our lives. Right. Exactly. But you can group that into the same category of like, they control our lives. But and to your comment about like you don't want your kids to treat other adults, know, teachers, coaches that way. The fact that you have that concern means that you're doing something right. True. Yeah, that's a good point. The fact that you are considering that is tells everyone that your head's in the right spot. Right. The other side of that is your kids give their parents the most shit. Yeah. They throw the biggest tantrums with their parents. Yeah. They are most disrespectful. They talk back to their parents. They don't do that in public. they don't. that's generally speaking. Well, that's and that's the thing where I think both families in of ours in this room where it would be like, I don't think either kid either none of our children, I don't think would ever cross that boundary without realizing like, I should not have done that. Wisconsinite. Right. I should not have done that. And now my mom or dad are going to find out and now there's going to be a consequence of whatever action that may be. Well, and we found out that a consequence of writing a letter and going to apologize in person is as effective and as painful for the child. Oh, a thousand percent. For them to admit to whoever they disrespected. I messed up. I did something wrong. Right. I'm sorry that I broke that trust. However you want to word the apology, facing the music like that in a respectful way, I believe is the best way to make sure that that child then grows up to be an adult that can look back at their own parenting styles and be like, all right, my parents did this. And therefore I have these habits. So I'm going to do this differently. Because I think naturally as you become a parent, The only experience you have is the experience you have. So you're gonna base your parenting style off of the corrections that you wanted your parents to make. And I don't think, for me personally, those realizations didn't come as soon as my first kid was born, or my second kid was born, or my third, fourth, like it's constantly like these, like lines of aha moments of like, ⁓ I do this. Like this is how I do that. This is how I cope with that. Or this is how I react in this situation. Yeah. Right. Like I stay home because I get stressed out when I'm by myself with all the kids. I just get it. Just my ratchet up so high in the stress level. So like those, those those things of like knowing, this is why I do it. This is what I do. That's being self-aware and that's good. Yeah. In my opinion. Yeah. No, I, think being self-aware and being able to make those corrections is what, what you should be doing as a father, as a parent, ⁓ and as a human. Like this, this can also apply to your relationships, your professional relationships. ⁓ how you are as a person, right? Like I'm gonna be respectful. I'm gonna also like. I'm going to be able to have a conversation with someone and or apologize when when I have done something wrong. Like I'll catch like in the heat of the moment, I'll try to catch myself and be like, you know what? That wasn't cool. Yeah. I shouldn't have said this or that or done this or that. You know, I'm sorry. Don't don't do that. Yeah. In the future. I mean, so yeah. So I guess the biggest thing is is from old school to new school. Have we made strides as parents? Yes. Have we made strides too far to the other side of the spectrum? That's my belief is that also yes, is that we've gone too far of like, ⁓ I need to protect little Johnny's emotions. I need to do this. I need to do that. That's not real life. Right? Like we need to prepare them to handle their emotions. Yeah. And we will be there as parents to protect them. Not just guard them. Correct. We will be there to protect them. But there's learning experiences that I cannot offer that they will have to learn just in passing. And it's going to be upsetting some days. Something's going to happen and they're not going to know how to handle it. And the first person they're going to come to is us. we're going to have to say, hey, I thought I heard a Mr. Pot. But I did not. No, it's just you hoping. was gonna say something deeply profound and then you distract me. And I said, Pisser pot But no, I think, ⁓ like you said, this spectrum of like, overall, we've gone on the spectrum across this parenting style thing. As a society where we used to do it one way and then somewhere between our parents' generation and our generation. We realized, holy shit, that's really fucking a lot of people up mentally. Yeah. Let's do it this way. But then it's like, just like, I feel like a lot of things, whether it's politics or whatever, like there's a lot of different things where all of a sudden that pendulum swings and it's like, ⁓ now we have to be more extreme this way. It's like, no, let's find some middle ground. Let's consider our kids emotions. Right. also hold them to standards of being kind and respectful and hardworking and all that stuff. Well, and I think, especially in America, I think that Americans are a very fad country, Like fat or fad? Fad. Where? fat. Both. ⁓ Where it's like they want to try the new trend and they want to be the trendy parent. And I think that's a detriment to society in general, where it's like gentle parenting, that's the new thing. us at 7 p.m. for the Gentle Parenting Power Hour. ⁓ to you by 97.3 Smooth Jazz. Jazz. ⁓ Milwaukee Anyways, ⁓ I it's one of those where I think society takes it like a whole nother step to the other end of that spectrum, like we talked about. ⁓ And I think that's huge detriment to society just in general for anything. know, and I think so hopefully like in a couple of years, know, decade, whatever, we get back to, okay, let's find a solution. That's a middle ground because that's what this world is built on is middle ground. Well, and I guess one of the things you can hope for is like, okay, our kids or our grandkids, that's weird to think about. someday we're gonna be grandparents. Not far off buddy. No that's no we're not going even going there. ⁓ But like to think about like okay are they gonna look back and be like what were these yahoos doing with this gentle parenting bullshit and like go back to just about beating their kids about shit like. Talk about your feelings. get over it. Right. You know like it. just makes you wonder a little bit, like, are we gonna revert back or swing, have the pendulum swing back? And I think we will, but I think it'll come more to the middle. Yeah, I agree. Which I think is where it should be. Yeah, there needs to be, what gets me about the whole gentle parenting movement, right? Where it's, know, ⁓ we wanna make sure that we get everyone's emotions in order and protect everybody involved and whatever, right? But the problem is, like when those kids are older and you know this, it's, that's not a thing. Like your boss isn't gentle parenting you. No. Your boss doesn't give a shit what your emotions are. Potentially, right? I mean, there's not, there's certain people that are not assholes, but like, they're not doing this every day. They're not, they're not catering and coddling to your needs. Right? And so I think that's, when you talk about middle ground, I think that's a great. place to be because I think that that's going to teach kids how to navigate through life and figure out problems that they're going to run across. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know, but yeah, I. This is a topic that we could. Every parent we have on we could ask him about their views on this and every answer is going to be a little different because everyone's experience is a little different, right? And that's fine. Like I. I had someone come up to me today and said, hey, I listen to your podcast a little bit. Like, you guys sound great. And I was like, well, thank you. Thank you very much. But he said, and I want, this is what I want. He said, I don't agree with all of your viewpoints on everything. Well, of course not. But we are always open for debate. like, it's a great podcast. I enjoy listening to it. And I said, great. I don't need you to, I'm not trying to convert you to follow only my viewpoints. I'm not looking to conquer your... You mean to add one, like, isms? Isms, the isms. You know, like, and that's the biggest part of it, and we've talked about this before, like, the ability to have a conversation with someone you disagree with, I think is mostly lost in this country. It goes down the rabbit hole of like politics, right? Where, you know, we can go on that whole topic of conversation. But reality is, I think there's a lot of reasons why kids are the way they are, especially in today's society, because, you're so polar opposites and there's no middle ground, right? There's no reaching across that aisle and being like, hey, you know what? I know you don't agree with my viewpoint. But this is why I'm telling you the way I feel and the way I think. I think it's important for you to hear a different perspective. know what mean? But also, we should all be held to the same standard of just don't be an asshole. Well, right. Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick. Correct. Well, I'm good. D-B-A-D. D-B-A-D. E-A-D. Yeah. ⁓ EABD. Correct. We'll leave it to the audience for that one. So, but no, like it just struck me that like, yeah, I don't, I'm fine with you not agreeing with everything we say. And I encourage those people to email us to comment on Leave some comments, please. Yeah, listen to it. You might as well comment. We want, these are the conversations we want to have with other people, different viewpoints, different. Like, cause like I said, every, everybody's experience is different. So like someone might've had an experience where they got their ass beat and they're like half the time they're probably going to be just fine. Like it's not like they're so messed up. can't function in society, right? But their approach might be different than mine or yours or Jim Bob's next door or whatever. Like that's what we call our neighbors. We don't know that we actually don't know their names. We just make up names cause we gave up on a member. So. But what I will tell you, though, is one of the things we should probably try as parents is smacking. That's what we should try. Smacking And I hear that we have a smacking great deal of 10 % off correct, Michael? Holy shit, do we ever. my god, please explain. I was on the website today kind of like shopping for my next order. Sure. Right? The. They have four new flavors out right now, like ⁓ special edition flavors. This is the first time I'm hearing about the four ready for this shit. They have their standard, you know, they have, I forgot to count them again. It's at least like 15 to 20 flavors. Tio, we have to do a pisser pot. ⁓ pisser pot. Cheers. So 15 to 20 flavors. coming up. Oh, oh, set that to 15 to 20 flavor flavors. You have four dishes. have your barbecue, your basic bees, your dill pickle. Which by the way, they're not just basic bees. They're delicious as shit. is. We're at the point at work where we're out of our seeds. So someone brought in a bag of bigs and he's like, I can't eat these all day. because the salt just like, the little cuts you get in your mouth, hurts too much, you can't do it. You can eat smackin' literally all day. Trust me, I've done it. Well, and the biggest thing is, just with my experience with smackin', is that with the flavor at the bottom of the bag, that's how you know those are like, the real deal. It's like seasoning you would put on the barbecue flavor that's at the bottom of that bag. is like the seasoning you would put on It's like damn near dry rub on ribs. Right, right. That's what it is. And you can see the difference right. Like the second you pour a bunch in your hand and pop them in your mouth, you can see it. All the normal flavors, right? I'm not going to list them because everyone kind of knows what standard flavors are. Although their standard flavors include cheeseburger and cheddar jalapeno, which is a banger, cinnamon churro, which is like... That's one of my favorites, the churros. It's the best. If you need a dessert, that's the way to do it. I literally could make a three course meal with sunflower seeds. like if you're really looking for like a sweet treat or even just like a salty taste, right? It's one of those where it's rather than if you just ate a dinner or if you had lunch and you're not trying to eat more, this is a great way to kind of take that and get your taste buds. Get your fix of sweetness. exactly. And the churro does that for sure. The four new flavors or special edition flavors. Drum roll please. Number one, birthday cake. Birthday cake? I'm gonna be trying one of those. I got one of those in my cart. schniblets. Get your schniblets out of our control over there. Nashville hot chicken. Ooh. Maybe not the chicken, Nashville hot. Nashville hot, that's fine. Nashville hot. Chicken would just be a plus, but that sounds good. It would. I'm worried on that one that it's just going to be too Kind of like Cheetos, like Flamin' Hots. Yeah, like where like I don't get the flavor I want, like the jalapeno cheddar, I get the flavor on. ⁓ But I don't get, I'm worried that that's, don't get me wrong, I'm still going to get a bag. Yeah, you're still going to in your mouth, right? for sure. But I'm not. I'm worried that that one's gonna be just too hot. Boiling lava hot. Boiling lava hot. So there are two more flavors, is this correct? There's two more flavors. I'm trying to pull up because I'm blanking on the third one. The one that I'm most excited about. Mexican street corn. Oh, I would swear, you know, in your mouth, your mouth and like it. The. So, yeah, we have this 10 % off. can. whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the flavor? Getting to it. I'm trying. I'm getting excited over here. I'm trying to buy time while my loading everything. Right. So thanks for fucking calling me out now. Welcome now we're sitting here in silence. Oh the cheeseburger is their their fourth one that is a special edition. Oh, okay I thought they moved that into their normal. They're normal. It's been around for a hot minute. So I just assumed gotcha Okay, sorry about it. So Mexican street corn Nashville hot birthday cake and Cheeseburger are there are there like special edition. So we're gonna put this in the comment section and we're gonna put this in the video. Yes, it will be in the show notes. It will be I'll try to comment on and put it in the comments on on all our spaces. But yeah, it's www.SmackinSunflowerSeeds forward slash two dads, one mic. www.SmackinSunflowerSeeds.com forward slash the number two. D-A-D-S, the number one, M-I-C. Put that in your mouth. Put that in your mouth. 10 % off, smackin' sunflower seeds. Get you some. You're never gonna regret it. Now, it's time for what, Michael? Wisconsin, or what? Er, no. So, Wisconsin, or no is a segment that we have introduced at the start of the year, Yeah, season two. season two. And so essentially Mike or I, and tonight I have a special edition for this, is that we will list facts about Wisconsin. We will give, we will do multiple choice questions like I did that one time. And we have to guess like, is this from Wisconsin or no? So- By the way, the year last Wisconsin or no, I fucking nailed. You did. You actually were- single one. I was on fucking fire. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. All right. So I'm to pull this up and we are- keep my streak going. We are going to do this together and I think it's gonna be fun. So we have, I believe, let's see here, we have 15 questions ⁓ for Wisconsin or no and it's a true or false. Ready for this? Question number one. The capital of Wisconsin is Madison. True. I'm gonna say false, I'm just kidding. So we have three minutes. shit. ⁓ shit. We got to go. Madison is the most populous city in Wisconsin. or false? I agree. Wisconsin is the leading producer of ginseng in the U.S. Ginseng. I was gonna say true. About one third of all Americans live within 500 miles of Wisconsin. I'm gonna say that's false. That's false. A third? A third of Americans. That's a tough-ass question though. Yeah. I'm gonna say false. I'm gonna say false, because is it 500 miles to California? No, it's more than that. Yeah, it's like 1800. Yeah. The first city... Excuse me, the first ice cream sundae. Wow, I was reading two things at once. Two rivers. The first ice cream sundae was created in this state in the 1880s. Yes. Yes, I believe We just learned that. Milwaukee County has the largest shoreline of any county in the U.S. County, false. Door County would probably be meeting because they got both sides. ⁓ you're right. You're right. It's a peninsula. Peninsula. ⁓ Green Bay is known as the toilet paper capital of the world. Yes. Yes. We also learned that. Yes, we did. I am so fucking smart. Almost all Wisconsin's natural lakes have resulted from glaciers. I believe that is true. I'll say true on that. There are two or excuse me, there are more than two million deer in the state. I believe that's the ⁓ We can disagree. Or do we have to the same one? We have to pick the same one. So what do you... That's fine. You want to do true? Do you think it's true though? Yeah, but I'm not that convicted in it. I'm gonna do true. I trust your judgment over there. Wisconsin was the 21st state admitted to the Union. I believe that is correct. I'll follow you on that. Yeah, that I believe is true. Wisconsin is known as America's Dairyland. Yes. Fuck you California. The state animal of Wisconsin is the cow. That is false. That is false. That is the honey badger. The first kindergarten was started in the state. I'll let you answer that one. False. The state flag was adopted in 1863 and has not been changed since. I do believe it's been 1863. Yeah, I'll I'm going to say true on that one. Wisconsin is home to the waterpark capital of the world. Hell to the yeah. True. OK, here we go. Ready? We should do a spot from there. Ooh, what do think we got? How many questions did we get right out of 15? Six. We got 10. Ooh. 67%. Okay. It's not too bad. Here we go. The capital of Wisconsin is Madison. Yes. That is true. Madison is the most populous city in Wisconsin. We clicked false. That is correct. Really? Yes. I suppose you got UW there. Wisconsin is the leading producer of ginseng in the U.S. We chose true and it was true. Like it was one of those facts that was like it sounds familiar but it sounded very I couldn't remember if it was like because we're also one of the largest lavender producers Yes lavender and I couldn't remember if it was like ginger or something or if it was ginseng I can see the mix up ⁓ About one-third of all Americans live 500 miles We said within 500 miles of Wisconsin. We said false. It was true Really? Wild, right? Because you think the Twin Cities, you have Iowa, you have Chicago, you have... Michigan, technically. So in Indiana, probably. Yeah, I'd have to look on a map to see how far, 500 mile radius would Which would be a third, that would probably be roughly, yeah, probably a third, damn near, with all the other states around get to New York in five, like as a bird flies from the farthest east tip of Wisconsin? Yeah, I don't know. Like, cause it's not like from the pinpoint of the center. No, you just go across directly. miles from any point at the edge of Wisconsin. Could be. Not like driving, like driving. Right, Just cutting across, right. But like as the crow flies. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. That's interesting. Buffalo probably for sure. Yeah. The first ice cream sundae was created in the state in the 1880s. said. Fattie knows his facts. And the fatties were right. Yeah boy. Milwaukee County has the largest shoreline of any county in the US We said false and that is correct. It is Door County. Yeah. Yep Physics bitch. I don't know if that's actually physics That's geometry is Is what that is Green Bay is known as the toilet paper capital of the world true or false and we said true and it was right Almost all Wisconsin's natural lakes have resulted from glaciers. We said true, that is true. When you read it like this, it makes us sound way better than 67%. There are more than two... There are more than 2 million deer in the state. We said true. It was false. Really? ⁓ There are approximately 800,000 deer in Wisconsin. Cool. Now you know. ⁓ I thought it was the 21st state. It's not. Wisconsin was the 21st state, admitted to the Union. We said true. It was false. It actually was the 30th. Okay. So, all right. Look at us getting smarter and shit. Hey, you know. Wisconsin is known as America's dairy land. That is true, because we live here and that's the best. And my guts will tell you that we consume the most dairy. The state animal of Wisconsin is the cow. We said false is always been false. It is a honey badger or badger for the common folk. The first kindergarten What the fuck the first kindergarten was started in this state we said false is actually true Okay, it was open in 1856 by Margaret Shurs Shurs sure sure the state flag was adopted in 1863 and has not been changed since we said true It's actually false. It was redesigned in 1913 and again in 1979 So when you're playing drunk trivia, you'll know that this is what it is. Now you know. And last question, Wisconsin is home. Well, that's important because there's lots of people who do trivia at the bars in Wisconsin here. Wisconsin is home to the water park capital of the world. We said true. It's always been true. The Wisconsin Dells is the water park capital of the world. It really is. And that completes Wisconsin. I like that version of it. Err no. Err. Other than that Michael, do you have anything else you would like to cover with our lovely lovely three audience members? No, ⁓ I Do this why do I do this? I've noticed this about myself. Yeah, I Say no and then go into something. You know what? Let's talk actively say no and then immediately start talking about something No, I'm excited about I feel like I'm saying this every episode, but I'm excited at what we have coming down the line, the planning that we're doing, trying to schedule people to come on, guests to come on. You want to talk about King Tut right now, don't you? Yeah, I do. I could just see it in your face. Egyptian mummies and shit. ⁓ it. We got another hour and a half. So please stay tight. If you haven't noticed, I can talk about anything forever. Anything. We both can really. It's it's terrible habit. Like what we're doing right now. We need to sign off of this shit. Anyways, thanks for joining us on the Two Dads, One Mic podcast. ⁓ name is Taylor. This is Mike, Peace!