Professor Jessica: Welcome back to University Earth, where life is the curriculum and your soul is the student. I'm Professor Jessica, and class is now in session. Now, in our last class we talked about karma, and we explored the possibility that karma isn't simply about punishment, but about consequence, about what experiences our choices create and what those consequences might teach us. But that brings us to an interesting question. What happens when we don't seem to learn the lesson? Because sometimes we leave a completely unhappy relationship, and somehow we end up in the same kind of relationship again. We change jobs because the last one made us miserable, and somehow we find ourselves dealing with the same kind of problems. We move to a new city, we meet new people, start a whole new chapter, and yet something feels strangely familiar. Different people, different circumstances, Different location, same lesson. And eventually we may find ourselves asking, why does this keep happening to me? So today we're going to ask a slightly different question. Why do I keep repeating this situation? Because if Earth is a school, then we need to talk about one of the most frustrating experiences about being a student, repeating a class. So let's talk about the class you keep taking, repeating that class. Why does it happen? Because sometimes we don't learn the lesson the first time, or the second, or the third, or well, let's just say there have been students who've been enrolled in the same course for quite a while. and by the way, if you've repeated the same lesson five times, congratulations, you've officially declared a major. Actually, there is something pretty profound underneath that little joke. Have you ever noticed that certain themes seem to follow you? Maybe it's abandonment. Maybe it's trust issues. Maybe it's self-worth. Maybe it's control, money issues, being needed, perfectionism, constantly rescuing people, choosing people who cannot choose you. Maybe it's never feeling like you're enough. Here's what's interesting: the people can change, the jobs can change, the cities can change, the relationships, they can change. Circumstances they change, but somehow the same emotional lesson seems to show up again and again. Now, does that mean that we are somehow creating everything that happens to us? No, absolutely not. Other people have agency. Circumstances exist outside of our control. Life contains randomness, loss, injustice, and experiences that we've never asked for. So we're not talking about blaming ourselves for everything that happens. We're talking about something much more specific, the patterns in our own experience that we are able to observe. And that gives us something to study. So, what exactly is a pattern? When we hear the word pattern, we often imagine the same event happening over and over. But patterns don't always work that way. Sometimes the circumstances repeat, sometimes the choice repeats, sometimes the emotional response repeats. And sometimes it's the underlying lesson that keeps appearing in completely different forms. For example, maybe you repeatedly find yourself in relationships where you feel responsible for someone else's happiness. The people are different, the circumstances are different, but your role feels familiar. Or maybe you repeatedly find yourself overwhelmed because you keep saying yes when what you really want to say is no, you know, people pleasing. Or maybe you keep postponing something important because you're waiting until you feel completely ready. The circumstances may change, but your response stays remarkably consistent. And this is where we need to be careful. A pattern isn't necessarily proof that you're doing something wrong. It may be just information. It's something worth becoming curious about. Instead of what's wrong with me, we can ask, what keeps happening here? Or Why do I remain in this loop? Those are very different questions because shame tends to make us defensive. Curiosity makes us observant. And if we're going to understand our patterns, we have to become willing to observe them without immediately judging ourselves. So, why do these patterns repeat? There isn't one answer. And University Earth isn't going to pretend that there is. Sometimes patterns repeat because we've developed habits. Sometimes because we've learned certain behaviors very early on in life. Sometimes because something feels familiar even when it isn't healthy for us. Sometimes because we're responding to the present through the lens of the past. And sometimes we simply don't recognize the pattern until we've lived through it several times. Think about how easy it is to recognize someone else's pattern. You can watch your friend date the same kind of person three times and think, girl, we need to talk. Meanwhile, Your own patterns are apparently protected by classified government intelligence. Why? Because we're inside our own experience. We don't always see what someone else can see from the outside. And that's one reason reflection matters so much. We need moments when we can step back from the story and actually observe the story. Not why does this always happen to me, but what is similar about these situations? What did I believe? What did I ignore? What did I tolerate? What did I choose? What did I avoid? How did I respond? And what happened afterward? Not because we're looking for someone to blame, but because we're looking for information that will help us recognize the pattern going forward. Here's where I think the idea of Earth as a university becomes especially interesting. In school, if you don't understand something, the teacher may explain it over again. Different example, different assignment, different approach. Same concept. Maybe life works similarly. Not because the universe is deliberately sending us the same test, but because life gives us opportunities to encounter ourselves again and again until we figure it out. And sometimes the lesson isn't actually about the circumstance, it's about who we are inside the circumstance. So maybe the lesson is about learning boundaries. Maybe it's self-trust. Maybe it's learning to communicate, recognizing our own needs. Maybe it's letting go of control or understanding that being needed is not the same as being loved. Maybe it's understanding that saying no doesn't make us selfish, or learning that we don't have to abandon ourselves to keep someone else around. And here's the beautiful part. Once we recognize a pattern, we don't necessarily have to repeat it. Awareness creates a possibility. Not a guarantee, not an overnight transformation, but a possibility. Because once we can see something through the lens of awareness, we can begin to make a different choice. Awareness gives us a choice. And sometimes that's the real shift. Not that life suddenly stops presenting us with challenges, but that we stop meeting every challenge as the same version of ourselves. So here's the question I want you to carry with yourself today. What if the pattern itself is information? Not punishment, not proof that something is wrong with you, not evidence that you somehow deserve what keeps happening to you, but information, something to observe, something to become curious about. Because again, the question shouldn't be why does this keep happening to me? Maybe it's what keeps showing up here. And perhaps even more importantly, what lesson do I think keeps showing up for me? But we'll come back to that question in just a moment. Now, in every class, we need a student perspective. Because sometimes the most meaningful lessons come from one another. So before we begin, please introduce yourself, tell us your name, what field you've been studying here on Earth, and what corner of our global campus you're joining us from today. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: Hello, Jessica. Thank you so much for having me today. So my name is Jessie Ferreira and well, Dr. Jessie Ferreira. And so I'm still a student in life. Just because I wear the hat and I have the degree doesn't mean that I'm not learning anymore. So I'm still evolving, still learning. What is my study here on earth? Well, my background is in leadership, strategic leadership, but I'm gonna expand on that. And say that a lot of the work that I do here on earth is also about inner coherence and alignment. And where am I from? I'm I'm in good old Florida. That's where I'm studying here. Professor Jessica: wonderful. Welcome to University Earth. I spoke with Academic Advising this morning and they confirmed that avoiding your lesson doesn't count as completing it. Just letting you know. So, Dr. Jessie Ferreira: That's very true. Professor Jessica: Dr. Jessie, here's today's question. What lesson do you think keeps showing up for you? And when you look back at those experiences, what makes you recognize that it is the same lesson? Dr. Jessie Ferreira: Wow. So, you know, for a long time I didn't want to be upfront about this because I was embarrassed. There's a lot of shame wrapped up in it. you said a lot of things in your study, in your lesson today that really sat with me because I was like, wow, this is so like profound and interesting and stuff that we, you know, I teach now in the work that I do. and even though I'm teaching it, I'm still very much trying to learn that this is a pattern that keeps repeating for me. For me, it's self-trust. Self-trust has been a pattern that has shown up for me over and over and over and over again from the time I was a little girl up until right now. And self-trust, the reasons that I think it I know it's a pattern in my life is because I do a lot of trainings, I do a lot of speaking engagements, and I often will find myself Feeling very nervous about something that I'm going to say and minimize what I'm going to say because I don't trust that I have the right information or that it's gonna come out the way it needs to be delivered. and that's been a a a huge, huge it's it's just been a very significant thing that has happened to me to be able to number one state that that that it's actually happening, that I don't trust myself, that I don't trust my intuition, that I don't trust the knowledge base that I have. but I think there's a lot of other different parameters or a lot of other variables that go into that too, I think it's a lot of our aces, you know, that we, you know, our adverse childhood experiences. when I was a little girl, you know, I was minimized. I was told to stay cute and stay quiet, you know, all the the things that parents sometimes do. and It's really shown up a lot more later in life for me than it has even when I was when you're working a nine to five and you know what you have to do and the job is kind of every day you do this. It's it's it's a pattern. You just keep doing what you're doing at work, Or habitual, methodical, It's easy to just kind of show up because you're just doing it and you're doing your job and it's you're you go home at the end of the day. But when you're in A different field of, you know, talking to people, trying to share with people, impart knowledge with people, and you're second guessing yourself, that's self-trust for me, And it's something that's really impacted my life in a negative way. And I've really seen it. And I think for me, the way that you know, you you said it in the lesson that awareness is is important, But awareness alone doesn't stop the pattern from happening, It's being able to be aware, but also understanding that the way that we navigate the response to it is what interrupts that sequence, And so for me, it's really there's a a thing that we teach with ASQ empowerment services, which is what I that's my business. And it's called position zero. And awareness, this is where the awareness comes in, Is when you're able to step outside of the situation that you're in. So in those moments when I have this big my God, what's happening? I feel really nervous now. Not sure that I want to say this. Really having a lot of self-doubt is to be able to remove myself from that situation, you know, have that awareness that this is happening. Where is this coming from? What and disassociating myself from that shame, Understanding where this Professor Jessica: Right. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: comes from. Because oftentimes these patterns come to us because it's protecting us from something, For me, it's protecting myself from feeling like. stupid in front of other people or saying something that doesn't make sense to other people. And so I minimize my voice or stay quiet so that I don't look ridiculous. So now as a result of understanding that I have this self-trust, oftentimes what I'll tell people is I don't know everything about just because I wear this pretty hat, it's really not a pretty hat. It's pretty funny actually. Pretty funny. Professor Jessica: I'm not sure. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: doesn't mean that I know everything. I know a lot about a little bit. That's what I know. I know about leadership, But I don't know everything. And being able to be aware that I don't have to have all the answers has really helped me to build the trust that I have in myself. And also being able to just say things without the the idea of people coming at me and saying things to make a lot of times people are curious and they're just asking questions and not becoming defensive as a result of the way that people are asking me questions. And so it's been a lot of navigating those types of things for me, but I definitely got a lot from your lesson. a good overview on the whole awareness and learning and you know, our aces being involved here. So you sort of validating the things that I think about self-trust, or at least the pattern for me that shows up. That's just one pattern out of many that keep showing up for me, but that's a big one. Professor Jessica: Well, here's a follow-up to that. Once you think once you recognize a pattern, do you think recognizing it is enough to change it, or does the real work begin there? Dr. Jessie Ferreira: I think that that's where the real work begins. I think you recognize that there is this, okay, there's this pattern that keeps repeating in my life, Recognize it. You're when you're recognizing your, automatically, you're there's the awareness. You're saying, okay, this is happening. And I've seen this happen in my life over and over and over again, right? Another pattern for me is boundaries. For for me, it's easy to give up my boundaries. Because I want to please other people, I don't want them to be disappointed with me. I don't want to let Professor Jessica: People pleasing. Mm-hmm. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: them down. I want them to look at me as dependable, reliable, somebody that they can count on. But at what expense am I giving that up? So awareness. I know that I have a difficult time maintaining boundaries. So it's a step-by-step process. You have to be able to say, okay, I acknowledge that this is an issue in my life and that it's not healthy for me. And it's definitely not healthy. More importantly, it's not healthy for me. It's it's helping everybody else, but it's not helping me. But there's definitely, I think the work begins right when you realize that it's happening because it's not easy to establish boundaries because all those things that everybody's expected of you, all of a sudden now you're taking that away from other people. Therefore, you're welcoming. In this case, when it comes to boundaries, you're welcoming the judgment, the You're letting me down. You're not doing what you're I'm asking you to do. You're not, you're not reliable, you're not dependable anymore. I've been told those things, by my own children. You're not dependable because you're not available when I need you to watch, you know, my granddaughter. and the thing is, is that that's not my problem, it's their problem. But Professor Jessica: Right. Right. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: how do I, as a person who really genuinely cares about other people, maneuver that? And still maintain my it's a step-by-step practice. There is no playbook for how this pans out. It's a matter of recognizing it, even in those moments. For me, it's pausing, it's that position zero that I was talking about and saying, wait, why is this happening? Who am I doing this for? Well at what expense am I going to do this? What what does this mean to me right now? And really attaching these words to describe how I'm feeling. And do I want to feel this way? And I'm am I willing to compromise myself for this person or for the sake of looking like a fool or not knowing something? You know what I mean? And so I I think the Professor Jessica: Absolutely. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: work begins when you recognize it. But I think that if you don't maintain that, then you have to ask yourself, what is it that I'm giving up here by not? asserting my boundaries or recognizing that I have a self-trust pattern. What do what do I do to navigate that? So it's challenging myself, putting myself in situations like this where I get asked to come on a podcast and talk about something which is vulnerable for me. It's almost I don't know Professor Jessica: Right. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: if you can even tell, but I feel it's nervous to talk about this stuff. It's like a a feeling of like insecurity, vulnerability and feeling like, my God, I'm being exposed. But it's important because a lot of people go through these things, but they don't have the space, the psychologically safe space to be able to share and talk about it. Just because we've gone through all these lessons and we have these cute hats and whatever doesn't mean that we don't experience these issues or these patterns, But it's really about Professor Jessica: Absolutely. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: recognizing that it exists, not attaching shame to it, understanding the past, separating it from you know, from the past, like you said. and also understanding and giving yourself grace for knowing that, you know, I brought this in from past events. So but how do I want to show up today? How what's the message that I want to convey? What do I want to model for other people? And that's really where the work is or where it lies, I think for me. And I think it's harder once you if you don't recognize it, then you don't have to deal with it. But once you recognize it, Professor Jessica: Right. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: you gotta be able to interrupt that sequence. And and it is literally a sequence. It's a thing and until you interrupt it, it's gonna keep coming back for you. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Professor Jessica: It's gonna keep coming back. Absolutely different situation, same circumstance. That was beautiful. Thank you, Dr. Jessie, and thank you for auditing today's class. You can now Dr. Jessie Ferreira: Thank you. Professor Jessica: head back into class and we'll try not to make you repeat the semester. Dr. Jessie Ferreira: Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Professor Jessica: And now it's time for your reflection assignment. This week, I want you to think about one lesson that seems to keep showing up in your life. It doesn't have to be dramatic. Maybe it's something as simple as I keep saying yes when I mean no, or I keep putting everyone else's needs before my own, or I keep waiting for permission to do something I already know I want to do. Or maybe it's something much deeper. Whatever comes to mind. Don't try to fix it immediately. Just observe it and ask yourself what keeps showing up, what feels familiar about it. And then the question from today's class, what lesson do I think keeps showing up for me? You don't have to have the answer. Remember, you're a student, you're allowed to be learning. Maybe life really is a university, not because every experience has a neat explanation, but because Every experience gives us something to encounter, something to question, something to understand, and most times something to learn. Repeating patterns doesn't mean you're failing the class. They may simply mean there's still something here worth noticing. And once you notice it, you get to become curious. You get to ask better questions. You get to decide what belongs to you and what doesn't, and what you want to carry forward. Because the goal isn't perfection. The goal isn't to never repeat a mistake. And the goal certainly isn't to become someone who never struggles. Maybe the goal is simply to become more conscious of the lessons we're already living. If today's lesson resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts. Share your reflections in the comments below. One of the beautiful things about University Earth is that we are all learning together. And your perspective may become part of someone else's education. If you're new here, consider subscribing so you don't miss the next class because each lecture builds upon the last. Growth, like any meaningful education, happens one lesson at a time. Until next time, remember, life is not happening to you, it's teaching you. And every lesson is an invitation to become. I'm Professor Jessica, and I'll see you in our next class. Class dismissed.