TAYLOR SOLO CRASHOUT VAULT EP4: Welcome, welcome my beautiful besties. I'm Taylor Coker and you're listening to the celebratory tenth episode of Casually Crashing Out. Because even after ten episodes, We're still thriving. Ish. I just wanna say I feel like a bad bitch. Today, y'all. I'm giving C-U-N-T energy for sure. And I'm spelling it because I hate that word. It grosses me out. got my freshly did hair, you know, just out here serving. It's a rough job, but someone's gotta do it. Fun fact, did you guys know that as little as 10? percent of podcasters make it to episode 10. Isn't that crazy? that I'm a part of such a small statistic. I thought that was wild. I can understand why people get discouraged though. It is a lot harder than I think anyone realizes when you start a podcast. Starting a podcast is hard. and starting a brand behind a podcast is even harder. My goal from the very beginning of all this was to build something that people could relate to and find solidarity in. I know life is hard and I know finding friends to help you get through it can be even harder sometimes, especially as an adult. So I guess that was the idea behind everything, community. That being said, I also feel like this podcast has been a form of therapy for me. Being able to sit down and just write out what I'm going through and then being able to force myself to laugh and find the silver linings and the humor in it. I feel like I always do that, but I guess being able to help others do it too. now I would be lying to my audience if I said I wasn't doing this recording by light of Christmas tree. And you can talk all the shit you want. I'll be over here just living my best dopamine filled life, baby. Listening to good old Bing Crosby. There ain't nothing like some bingy boy by the Christmas tree. Just does something to a girl. Gets the creative juices aflowing. I would dare even say that my mental health check right now is a solid nine. And most of that is because of my Christmas tree alone. what I'm saying is if you are sad, put up your Christmas tree. And some Bing Crosby Christmas carols. Don't ask questions. Just do it. It'll all make sense in the end, I promise. The order goes like this, guys Halloween, Christmas, JK, Thanksgiving, Christmas again, for real this time, then New Year's. That's the order. I make my own rules around here. I do what I need to do to keep myself ignorantly, blissfully happy at all times. I suggest you do the same. AKA protect your peace. Moving on, I recently had a brief conversation with an old friend of mine. And boy, she's going through it. I really haven't talked to her in a while. We both live in different states now and have kind of been MIA from each other's lives for probably over 10 years before we started texting again recently. But Yeah, anyway, she's she's really going through it. And it makes me sad to think about because at one point she was my best friend. In saying that, I realize there's probably a lot of others out there that are also going through some heavy shit, especially around the holidays. this is the time of year that can be the greatest for people's mental health, or it completely can dismantle it. like it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back, kind of thing. So I wanted to share a list of things that I, Taylor Coker, do when I'm trying to get through a rough patch, if you will. And hopefully if it can even help one person out there, the world will be a better place, in my opinion. So okay, number one, make your bed. No excuses. My husband learned this in rehab and it has stuck with us since. Make your bed. It is the first thing you can do for yourself when you wake up, and it is the most basic form of self-discipline because no one's coming over, right? probably. No one's coming over to my house at least. Who cares if the bed's made, right? You should care. When your house looks good, you feel good, When your house is a war zone, it's gonna be hard to get out of battle mode. Number two, make a list of everything that makes you genuinely happy. Everything, y'all. Slap it on there. Painting, cooking, crafting, walking, singing. Now you're gonna wake up every day and your goal is to cross off as much from that list as you can every day. You are gonna jam pack your days full of everything you love, everything that makes you a happier, more peaceful, loving human. That's what you're gonna do. And you're gonna do that every day until it just becomes a part of your routine. Because that's how life should be. You should be filling every day with things that make you happy and things that fill your cup. Number three, get a spray tan. Guys, I don't know the science. Okay. I just know it works. Life sucks, but it sucks a little less if you're tan. And that's all I have to say about that one. Number four, positive affirmations. Bitch, if you ain't looking in the mirror every day and telling yourself you're a badass mamma jamma, and you better be saying it until you believe it. 'Cause that's the only person that really matters, baby. It won't matter what everyone else says. because you know who you are. You know you're a freaking beautiful, gorge, smart, witty queen. Positive affirmations. number five, take yourself on a date. And this one is one of the most important ones. I cannot emphasize enough how crucial it is to romanticize your life, guys. Stop waiting for someone to do it for you. Stop waiting for someone else to put you on a pedestal. You need to be in love with you. You need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. And indulge in yourself. It is very easy when you're going through a rough patch to lose yourself when you spend every moment in survival mode. Bitch, you ain't yourself. To the point where when the dust finally does start to settle, you look in the mirror and you think, who the hell is that person? Who the hell am I? take yourself out. Go to the movies, go to dinner, go to a pottery class, a painting class, take yourself on a picnic. Or stay in. Cook yourself a fancy meal. Order your favorite takeout. And you know what? Have DoorDash pick you up some flowers. Because you deserve those flowers. You deserve that takeout. You deserve to take yourself out on dates and show yourself love. Number six, let that shit out. Stop letting whatever is going on simmer and stew inside you. Guys, that is so incredibly toxic. That's what causes menti bees. You may think you're over something just because it's not the first thing on your mind when you wake up, but I promise. The stress you're pushing deep down inside is gonna come out tenfold if you don't let it out in some way. Talk it out to your therapist. Call your mom, call your sisters, call your friends. Hell, write it down and send it to me if you don't have anyone to talk to. And if you're not a talker it makes you feel vulnerable, talk to yourself. Sometimes just saying things out loud helps you see it from a different Perspective and it does help. Start a podcast. I don't know. Just tell a bunch of strangers your problems. It's a good idea. number seven, light candles. Another one I really don't know the science on, so I'm not gonna elaborate much, but guys, you cannot deny the power that some candles hold over us. I know y'all be walking through Bath Body Works just, my God, my whole house would be a new world if I got these candles. Yeah, you're right. It would. Candles are vibes. Stop telling yourself you don't need vibes. You do. We all need vibes. that's what makes life fun. Number eight. Never stop finding ways to incorporate nostalgia into your life. Nostalgia is our happiest moments, right? The most beautiful, significant memories that we cherish more than any other memories. Just the creme de la creme, The shit that shapes us. There's nothing wrong with wanting to implement the most precious, significant memories you have into your life to remind yourself daily of who you are and where you came from. Nostalgia is peaceful, it is happy, it is warm, feels like a cozy blanket, right? Implement it into your life daily. Number nine. Do not skimp when it comes to your daily routine. Now, most of us have a routine, and if you don't, then you need to start one, bitch. You need to have some kind of guideline of how your day should be starting and ending, some sort of checklist, if you will, just so that you are still feeling and functioning like a human being. Too many of us, when we get depressed, we wake up and we hit the fuck it button, right? I ain't doing that today. I ain't in the mood. well, bitch. well. You're an adult. with adult responsibilities. And I promise you're gonna feel worse the longer you avoid those responsibilities. I last but not least, number ten. Remind yourself that others have it worse. I'm not trying to sound cliche with that saying either. I know it's an easy thing to just word vomit out to y'all, but it actually helps me when I'm in all my feels. Remember the hat metaphor. For those that don't, I'll remind you: if you had to take all of your problems and put them in a hat, and you lose all of those problems. But the risk you take is you are drawing someone else's problems. So would you risk trading your problems for a complete stranger's problems? Would you do it? I'm an empath. So when I see what others are going through in a time of quote unquote sorrow, I can usually at the very least snap out of feeling sorry for myself. I may still be melancholy, but I'm not feeling sorry for myself, which is a step in the right direction. It puts me at least in a different headspace. Like, okay, yeah, this sucks, but it could always be worse. Be grateful bitch. This week's Crash Out of the Week submission comes from Justine from Moorhead, Kentucky. Justine writes, Hey casually crashing out. I'm not the type of person that normally writes into a podcast, but I figured the story was too good to go unnoticed. Like you say, every crash out deserves its five seconds of fame, right? Last Monday I woke up in a panic. Why you ask? Well, I opened my eyes after a horrible night's sleep and I realized it was five minutes to eight AM. I'm supposed to be at work at eight AM. To say I was having a full on mental breakdown Is an understatement. I jump out of bed, run to my closet to throw on some clothes, knowing definitely. Damn well, I don't have time for a shower, which is already stressing me out. when I realize that all of my clothes are in the dryer, I run to the laundry room and all of my work clothes are still soaking wet. Lovely. I suck it up and squeeze into these wet slacks in a wet dress shirt. By the way, it's 45 degrees outside, so not only do I look like a wet raccoon, I'm also freezing and dealing with the fact that I will most likely get sick from this morning's rendezvous So I jump in my car, start the drive to work, and realize a couple minutes out, That my car is on E. Not ideal, but well, I'm already late, so I stopped to get gas and realize when I go to grab my debit card that I left my whole ass fing wallet at home. I'm holding back tears at this point. I start digging through my mess of a car to find any spare change I can scrounge up. I finally managed to gather five dollars in coins and go inside to pay. The cashier doesn't look amused, but I'm so over it that I don't care. Finally, my car is mobile again and I'm off to work. About halfway down the road, there's an accident. I'm screaming at the road at this point, throwing things, I'm crying, I'm texting my boss, who's yet to answer by the way, so I'm convinced that I'm getting fired. I finally make it to work, pull on the parking lot, rushing to get inside, when I see my boss pull into the parking lot as well. She pulls up beside me and says, Wow, you're early today. I'm thinking she's just being facetious because I know that I'm not. I look down at my watch and say, I'm sorry, it won't happen again. She looks perplexed and says, Huh? Are you messing with me? now I'm perplexed. You did set your clock back an hour yesterday, right? For daylight savings? I can tell that my look of defeat says it all, guys. She just laughs at me and then proceeded to tell everyone at the office what had happened. Now every time I walk in the building, they all tell me I'm early to mess with me. So I hope you and whoever gets to hear this gets a chuckle, Because I sure didn't. Sincerely, Justine. The wet clothes. Gosh, when I read that, I could immediately feel them on me. The worst feeling in the world for sure is putting on damp leggings. It's actually a form of torture, I'm convinced. Like my own personal hell would be me trapped in a small jammed elevator with Bobby McGee playing in the background while also trying to put on wet leggings. and also someone telling me, surprise them with the drink. I'm so sick of that. You're a grown ass adult. If you don't know what you drink by now. I digress. Honestly, I want to file a formal complaint against daylight savings time. I hate it, guys. I hate it. I used to love it as a kid because, you know, get to sleep in or But when you're a grown up with responsibilities and shit, now all it's done is throw me off. I work till two AM. So until I get used to the time change, it feels like I'm working until 3 A.m. And then my dogs think that they're getting up an hour early because the sun's up earlier and they don't stop barking until I get them up. So ignoring it is not a thing. So I'm getting less sleep right now than ever. I catch myself just dozing off on the couch at 6 p.m. And my husband's like, Are you okay? I'm also trying to cut back on energy drinks. So there's that. I've actually had people tell me, I don't do caffeine in the mornings. It makes me jittery. Can't relate. I have ADHD, guys. Caffeine affects people with ADD and ADHD way differently, Instead of making me jittery or all over the place, I feel almost more focused, more grounded, because mornings can be rough. To get shit done when your brain's like pew pew pew pew like these little missiles going off. It almost feels like caffeine kind of makes it to where only one missile can go off at a time. Does that make sense? Also, I don't think I've ever shown up too early to work, but I have shown up with my slippers on multiple times. Drove all the way to work in full uniform with slippers. And I don't even notice until someone else points it out. I'm telling you, ADHD is wild. And all I can say is, Justine, don't be so hard on yourself. We're all out here just trying our best. As long as you're trying, that's all that matters. Thanks for writing in, Justine. And thanks for listening. by popular demand, here is the return of everyone's favorite segment. People who owe me an apology. The segment where everyone's got a score to settle with moi. Without further ado, let's meet the contestants. Contestant number one is the D-pop girl that sent me dirty clothes. Girly pop. I don't care that the clothes are used. I'm well aware of what Deepop is and I know damn well quote unquote new with tags, bitch, you wore that once. You wore it once and you left the tags on. I know how people do. But when you say it's like new condition and there's stains on the shirt that are not shown in the picture. So I don't know if you edited the picture or you took the pic and then wore it. I don't know. I don't know. it literally smelled like patchouli. And I hate patchouli. Who the hell wears patchouli anymore? Stop it. We're better than that, guys. Contestant number two has the floofiest potato butt in all the land, but nonetheless, daddyass still owes her mama an apology. That's right. I'm talking about the newest member of the Coker clan, our seven month old golden retriever pup, River. Now, I've been trying to get my sexy girl on lately. but your girl still has the ball on the budget. I do what I need to do when I need to do it, if you know what I'm saying. That being said, the other day my husband and I decided to go out for date night, which we rarely do anymore. but occasionally mom and dad want a night out. And by night out I mean Wild West Wednesday, fourteen ninety nine, eight ounce serling with two sides at the good old Texas Roadhouse. that morning I was like, dang, my nails are grody. Well, I don't know if you go out in the wild at all anymore, but nails are a hundred bucks right now. Insane. Without tip. I remember when they were 40 So I went and got some cute little press-ons. Just wanted to have my hands look cute for date night, you know? Sue me. Sue me. By the way, I spent 30 minutes debating if I should get the $6 ones or the $15 ones. I loved the $15 ones, but I was like, is it really worth it? They may only stay on for a night, But I said, screw it. Screw it. I got the $15 ones. I went home. I did my hair, I did my makeup. I start looking around for my press-ons and I look in the bag that they were in, they aren't there. I look in my room, they aren't there. I look in the bathroom, like, where the heck did I put those suckers? Then I realize I haven't seen my dogs in like 30 minutes, which I knew immediately that wasn't good. I go out on the porch and my $15 nails just all over the place. Chew marks on every single one. she said, F your date night, mom. I was so sad. I tried to find any that I could use as I was cleaning them up. And no, she managed to destroy every single one. So we love that. Contestant number three, and this one. Y'all. This one. So the other night I'm at home and my husband's out of town, right? When my husband's out of town, I don't cook dinner. let's be honest, I don't do shit when my husband's out of town. Besides get take out a bottle of wine and walk around my house naked. Unbothered. So yeah, I ordered some wine via DoorDash and I see that it's approaching. And as it's approaching, all I can hear is this woman Not just coughing, guys. Not a little clear of the throat. No. No. This was straight hacking. she has no mask on. I'm annoyed because I have to get close enough to this woman to show her my ID, which she proceeds to tell me her scanner on her phone's not working, so she has to enter everything manually. She can barely talk because she's so out of breath. It's obvious she's so sick, guys. Again, no mask. Every second was literal torture. I was cringing, guys. As soon as this woman hands me the wine, you better believe I ran inside, I washed my hands, changed my clothes, threw them in the washer, wiped down the whole wine bottle with Clorox wipes, wiped down my ID with Clorox wipes, washed my hands again, and then I sprayed every inch of my house with disinfectant. My husband told me to call and complain, and I'm like, I don't want to be that girl. Like, I don't ever want to be that girl, but come on. where do we draw the line? I get She's got bills to pay like the rest of us, but she could at least be wearing a mask. They will usually ask you if you want this person to shop for you again. And I did hit no. No review though. That's where I draw the line. I refuse to be a Karen. know I applied for DoorDash so long ago and I have yet to hear anything back from them. I'm not kidding. I applied for DoorDash, Instacart, all those. I really wanted to do Instacart because I love grocery shopping and I'm really good at it. It's a sport for me. I'm there all the time so I know where everything is. I could get in and out. But they always tell me that they aren't looking for drivers right now. And then I get hacking Hannah over here in a beat down nineteen ninety nine niece on Quest with a barely working phone, but I'm not good enough. I guess. Maybe that's the real issue here. Why won't you hire me, Doordash? Why won't you hire me, Instacart? What do you have against me? And the winner is hacking Hannah. Listen, I love an independent woman making her paper the good old fashioned way. And dare I say I'm even a little jealous, But coughing all over my cabernet is a hard zero out of ten stars, sis. In this week's Don't Come For Me, I want to talk about a pretty serious topic. One that involves a six-year-old nonverbal autistic child named Roman Hellman. And again, this is a very real, very current story that I do want to share because there's a lot of different things floating around. And I wanted to do my due diligence of actually researching this case and maybe clearing some things up for some people while also just bringing awareness as well. So on November 1st, Roman Hellman, a six year old little boy, was reported missing from his home in Louisa, Kentucky a little after 4 PM. He was last seen walking away from his home on Tadpole Road around 3 45 p.m. I just want to emphasize it doesn't say who was the last to see him. Or who made the nine one one call reporting his disappearance. I looked everywhere trying to find that information and it was nowhere to be found. no credible police dispatch report at all. Which I think is a little sus if you ask me, but moving on. So police are dispatched to his house and Sunday evening they issue an Ian alert, which stands for immediate action needed, which is similar to an Amber alert, I guess, for those that don't know, because I didn't. So by the evening, everyone in this community has heard this story, and hundreds and hundreds of volunteers show up the next morning to help find this little boy. By Monday afternoon, they had rescue teams, drones, dogs, aircrafts. And of course, all of the wonderful volunteers that showed up out in the woods just searching endlessly for little Roman. Now, as the search is transpiring, there are multiple, and I mean multiple posts going up, raising concerns about the well-being of Roman's home life. Because you see, this wasn't the first time little Roman had been playing outside in the road by himself. In fact, there is an actual post, and it's still on Facebook. Today. It's dated back to September with a picture of Roman and his dog out in the road while she expressing frustration with the parents because this is a pretty major road. I mean, they don't live in a little neighborhood. This is by a major highway, and there's woods and train tracks and lakes. Like, where are this kid's parents? So multiple sources coming forward about prior instances, people calling CPS, people calling Kentucky State Police. This is all months before he goes missing, guys. In the midst of this, there's also reports from people claiming the mom wasn't helping with the search, which is bizarre to me. I think the only reason a mom who genuinely was concerned for her child's safety wouldn't help look would be if the rescue team instructed her not to. Which I know they will do in some circumstances, but those circumstances usually involve wanting to protect the integrity of an investigation in which they allow the trained rescue squad to conduct a thorough and calculated search. But considering they were inviting people to help with this massive search, I think we can safely assume that probably wasn't the case, right? in the time that all of this is going on, there were a lot of people asking where Roman's dad was and why he wasn't helping with the search. Well, apparently, and again, this is speculation, he didn't even find out until 1:30 p.m. the following day that his own son was missing. He lives in West Virginia, doesn't have a license, doesn't have a car, couldn't get a ride. I'm sorry, but if Jason got a call that his daughter was missing since yesterday, and she lives in Florida, mind you, that man would walk to the airport and panhandle the money on the way for a ticket to help go find his kid. I'm not kidding. You would think with such a large outpour from the community, if the dad was actually concerned, why didn't he reach out to anybody and ask for a ride? So many people drove out there From miles and miles away, someone would have picked you up, sir. So everyone besides the boy's family is searching for this little boy. They eventually get horses out there to get even further into the woods hoping it would help them search some areas they couldn't get to previously. And lo and behold, by the grace of God, on November 3rd, two days later, this little boy was found. His little dog was with him. They said the dog actually led the rescuers to Roman. The same little dog that was posted in photos with this little boy in previous months. Apparently, the only one watching this damn kid is the dog at this point. So Roman is rescued via horseback by a volunteer. He is mostly unscathed. He has some scratches, but he doesn't seem traumatized. They said he was laughing. He ran up to the volunteer. He gave him a hug. He goes to the hospital to get evaluated to make sure he's all good. And while he's in the hospital, we have even more posts coming out about this little boy's mom to the point where definitely should be opening up some kind of case on this woman, you know? I've seen CPS open cases for way less. I don't know if it's just this area or some people say she has family who work in the judicial system. Whether that's true or not, I don't know. Some are saying that she has adult autism, That doesn't mean anything. I mean, it does, but It doesn't give you the right to neglect your child. And now there's reports that this child doesn't even have autism. never been diagnosed by a doctor. He just doesn't talk much and still wears a diaper. So that's what's assumed, I guess. Well, when you don't take care of a child and don't teach them words and don't potty train them, I would assume by age six they probably wouldn't have much of a vocabulary. They probably would still be wearing a diaper because they haven't been taught otherwise. Again, most of this is speculation. And I use the term speculation loosely because yeah, it's not printed on a criminal report in front of me, but I went down a rabbit hole this morning, guys. I went to so many people's Facebooks, went back all the way to September. I visually saw a lot of the shit that does corroborate what these people are saying coming forward. AKA there's receipts, y'all. So yeah, I think regardless of what the case or reason is, I think at the very least there needs to be an active investigation going on against this woman. I think they need to have check-ins. I think there needs to be requirements met as far as taking care of a child with autism. If that is the case, if her child does indeed have autism, diagnosed by a doctor. Maybe she needs more resources. Maybe she needs a little more guidance. I'm never for taking a child away from their mother. I think that's very extreme because at the end, it's only gonna hurt the child the most. But if it's for the safety of the child, if a child is in imminent danger, then yes, obviously. I don't know everything. I can't say yes or no, but I do think if he's going to be released back to his mother, a thorough, non-biased CPS investigation needs to be had. And whatever comes from the investigation. Then the proper actions need to be taken. And that's all I have to say. Don't come for me. Alright, Spiral Squad. So today we're gonna do something a little bit different, and I'm pretty excited about this one. I wanna call this segment blame it on the stars. where we get into astrology, birth charts, and all the things that supposedly make us who we are. Now, I know my zodiac sign. I'm a Gemini. but I didn't know that there was more to astrology than just your sun sign. So today we're bringing in someone who actually knows what she's talking about. to break down my birth chart, and potentially expose some things I wasn't ready to hear. I remember the first time that We were gonna hang out. You had texted me and you said, you wanna meet up and I'll read your birth chart? And I was a little taken aback just because no one's ever said that to me before. But we sat down, in a restaurant and I told you what time I was born and you went into all of these crazy things you had never met me before and you were pretty much spot on with a lot of what you said. And I was thoroughly impressed, guys. So I want to introduce Jazz. say hello, Jazz. Hi. Okay. So first what I wanna ask you is when did you originally start getting into birth charts, your interest? Yeah. Absolutely. So I'm a Scorpio myself. So I think I've always had an interest in the mystical and the occult and things that are different. And so, I've always been into the zodiac and star science and always looked at my horoscope. And then a few years ago, About five or six years ago, I had a party and I had an astrologer come to my house and basically read a bunch of my friends' birth charts. And she was so spot on. shout out, her name's Lori Kaufman, she studies like the myths and the goddesses, and she got so deep into just like you said, when I first met you, and you know, teach me. Yes, yes. I felt the same way when you were doing it to me. I was like, This girl is incredible. I don't even know you and I love you. I love you. That's my way now. Every time I meet someone I'm like Your birth chart. Yes, you did. And it was funny because before we started recording, she said, I'm gonna look up your birth chart again. And I was like, You still have my birth chart? She showed me this catalog of birth charts. You probably look at those every time you go hang out with someone, to just remind yourself. And she said she does do that. I have a whole database where if something's going on with my friends, I can be like, Let me pull up your chart and see what the sky is. Yes. my gosh. That's incredible. so I had the girls' night party. Yeah. I started learning astrology from her. I started taking courses with her. and then after that, I would just do what I did with you and read people's birth charts. And every time I did a birth chart reading, I was like This is turning into a therapy session. So I'm a social worker by trade, therapist. Yeah, You can't tell I'm a social worker. so I decided to blend the two. So combining therapy with astrology, as you'll notice when we get deeper into looking at your chart, it gets really deep as far as conversation goes. Probably, yeah. Astrology I think is very deep and I still am learning every single day as I'm as I'm studying. That's awesome. okay, so tell us exactly when you look at someone's birth chart, what are the things that you look at? dumb it down for me, I guess. Absolutely. So I think when people think of astrology or they think of it or talk about it in most terms, it's our sun sign, right? So like you're a Gemini, I'm a Scorpio. We just might think of it in Those basic concepts. but there is so much more to it than just that. The sun sign is just the planet that was in the sky when you were born. So that's kind of the the overall, that's your sun. But then there's other components of your chart as well. So you have your moon sign that tells you about your emotions and how you are at your emotional core. you have your Venus sign, which tells you about your relationships and how you love. you have your Mars sign that tells you about your drive and your ambition, those kinds of things. your Mercury sign tells you about how you think, how you communicate. and so all of those can kind of interplay together depending on the sign they're in and and all those things. So I would say the main thing for individuals to learn when delving into astrology is first learning maybe about your sun sign. So It's your ego, your identity, but then learning your big three. So it's your sun, moon, and your rising sign. Those are the big three So your sun sign is your overall identity, your moon sign is your emotions, how you are at your emotional core, and then your rising sign is how people might first perceive you. So your first impression when you walk into a room, what that might look like. Gotcha. so your moon sign is Gemini as well. a lot of times our moon sign might be different from our sun sign. so like if your son was Gemini and then your moon was Scorpio, you might be someone who's a little bit more intense or into yourself at home or not as talkative or outgoing. But for you you have a Gemini sun and moon. And so that kind of amplifies the the Gemini quality. Yeah. It's it's very strong. I agree. And then your rising sign is a Sagittarius. So our rising sign is the sign that was on the eastern horizon when you were born. So even though you are a Gemini sun and moon, so just a very airy quality, talkative, into lots of different topics, humor, being into just the details. You probably notice the details of things. And then your rising sign, how people might perceive you when they first meet you, is the Sagittarius. So Sagittarians are very positive, very joyous. about the community or the big picture kind of things. A lot about adventure, having fun, excitement. Those are some kinds of things that when people first perceive you or meet you, it's like, yep, let's have fun, let's do things. Yeah. Let's I'm up for an adventure. very joyous, very positive energy. I I think I instantly meant noticed that about you. Wow. You're very like open and welcoming and just you know, I had met you just that first time, but you felt I had already known you for a while. You know what I mean? It was very just comforting, welcoming energy of, you know, bringing everybody in and I would hate to give any other energy. You know what I mean? But there are people that don't. give a fuck. Absolutely. And so that's totally your vibe as far as coming into the room. Yeah. this is gonna go a little deeper and a little into more other topics, but you, Sagittarius rising, you're ruled by the planet Jupiter. And Jupiter is about abundance and excess and good things. I mean, sometimes excess can be bad, but So so you've got, in your life there are maybe lots of good luck happening or things, ways that you've been protected maybe at times, or just luck happening to you and so embracing your life in that way or allowing good luck or good energy or good things to happen. Yeah because you're ruled by Jupiter. And so, you're ruled by those good vibes. so I think knowing the big three, I think is a good starting off point if you're learning astrology. I think that that combines like Yeah. Your main personal a little bit of your main personality and then you get deeper into some of the other signs and things as well. so you said you look up everyone's birth chart when you meet them? A lot of times, most of the time. it all depends on how comfortable people are with astrology and those kinds of things. You probably read the room a little bit. Yeah, so certain people I've had a few people that all right away to me have been like, Nope, I'm I don't believe that. And I'm I very much to me astrology is more of a it's just math and science. And it's just interpreting the charts and this planets in the sky where they were and what they were doing at the time that you were born. And how that might have impacted your life. But to me it's just about learning yourself, maybe learning your partner Or your children, both my daughters have Taurus moons all about comfort and food and I'm like, I wish I'd known about this when they were babies. now as teenagers, when they're upset or something's going on, I'm like, Hey, I'm go chick fil A, you want yeah? Do you need And you probably just immediately it fixes everything. Right. And then they're all like, Yeah, I'm good. Okay. I think that's why I read so many birth charts 'cause each new birth chart is a new thing that I can study. and it's always a conversation. Like Okay, did this happen or did that happen? 'Cause there's certain themes associated with each thing. so you've talked about my birth chart. What what's your birth chart? What are you? So I am a Scorpio sun, Capricorn Moon, and Libra rising. so when people first perceive me I come across as a Libra. So very maybe like pleasant. And calm and sociable and wanting to keep the peace and harmony in the Yeah, that sounds yeah, you do come across like that. But then I've got this internal Scorpio intensity that not a lot of people will see. Or it does come out at times. Yeah. And my moon is in Capricorn. So I like to call Capricorn moons being emotionally constipated. And so I don't really feel my emotions. I I tend to You just tend to you just shove them all inside. So your moon sign is about your emotions and Capricorn is is all about work. So how do I process my emotions? Through through work. Yeah. So that's that's my my chart in National. I've lots of Scorpio energy. I've got Astellium in Scorpio. Estelium is a lot of planets in a certain chart. So I've got a lot of Scorpio energy. my husband is a Scorpio. So Scorpios all have that same, you know, stereotype attatched so you are both Sagittarius risings, so which is quite interesting. So you both have the same vibe and same personality when people might perceive you. Which I can pick up on. That's funny, yeah, because a lot of people say you guys are so good together, you guys are so similar, and well, we're alone, it's obviously different, but it's funny that we come across the same to people. because our moon sign usually tends to come out when we're at home. So people will first meet our rising sign and then your moon sign comes out when you're like alone by yourself. For Jason, his moon is the same as his rising sign. So he's got a Sagittarius moon. So he is somebody inherently in his personality at his core is maybe someone who likes freedom, adventure. But is on the more positive, joyous side of things. That Scorpio intensity might drag him down a little bit. I see it. Yeah. So he's got a son in Scorpio. He also has his Venus in Scorpio. So Venus is how we love and show relationships. absolutely. So he is all about you. He is intense. It is all or nothing. Possessive, Listen, I'm a little Scorpio Venus, I know. just out of curiosity, does mine say anything about my So you have a you have a Aries Venus. So his Venus, his relationship love sign is in this watery, very deep. Intense, he probably wants to get super deep and intimate with you. Yes. You have an Aries Venus. So you you love that intensity. But at the same time, you need a little bit of fun and excitement. So you like going deep, you love all that part of it, but you also need the fun and the excitement. And the and that drive. Aries and Scorpio are both ruled by Mars. So both of your love relationship planet is basically fueled by Mars. Which is this fighting planet. And that doesn't mean that you're always fighting in love, but there's in this relationship quality, there's this intensity there. we're definitely both like all about each other. we love each other very, very much. But the way that we love is different. I appreciate how he loves though. I would never have it any other way, I'm very he's the type that gets me a card and it's like very serious. And mine is a funny card. if that tells you anything about our relationship. Well there's so and again it's about combining those elements, right? So you have your Aries Venus, which your relationships want you want them to be exciting, you want them to be, and then you have your Gemini moon, which is again humorous and fun. I think you guys were really well together. I think when I met you first, this goes deeper, but there's things called asteroids as well that are out there. And there's Juno, which is a marriage asteroid, and yours was in Sagittarius, and so your husband being a Sagittarius rising and Sagittarius moon. So it kind of lines up astrologically you're in the universe in some way that you know guys do that's awesome. Do you and your husband's signs, do they do they make sense? Or So I think I found that a little with our chart is there's some ways that it it sh it shouldn't mesh well and it shouldn't go good together and then there's other ways that it it just it does and it does fit. and it's all about how our charts align. it's so funny is I discovered his Mars sign, which is basically about attraction, it desire, but it's also about fighting and conflict is on my rising sign. So on my outward personality. So this indicates that I irritate the hell out of him, but at the same time he's also intensely attracted to me at the same time. that's a lot of marriage. Yeah. I was like, well that makes a lot of sense. So that is so funny. okay. current transits. So Well, explain first so current transits, what are transits for people that don't So we'll have our traditional birth chart. This is what the sky looked like, and it's like a blueprint of the sky, when you were born. Mm-hmm. those planets tend to shift and move though as as we go on through life. And as they Shift and move, the transits will have an impact on maybe your love or career or different kinds of things, depending on what's going on. recently within this past fall, we've been in a Venus retrograde and a Mercury. Mercury retrograde. I'm sure you guys have heard of Mer Mercury retrograde often, right? it common that Mercury is in retrograde? I feel like I hear it a lot. It does. Yes, it's about three times a year. Okay. Okay. And weird things happen. So Communication things will happen. Mercury is the planet of communication. And it doesn't actually go backwards, it appears to go backwards. So when Mercury's in retrograde, it's appearing to go backwards. And basically more Communication delays will happen or there can be delays with travel or or things like that. for you, maybe setting up your podcast during a Mercury retrograde thing, you might find Yes. A lot of setbacks maybe. Yes. It's like you recorded something and it didn't. Actually, all the planets tend to go retrograde except the sun and the moon. But so Venus will retrograde as well. Venus is a planet of love, relationships. And it's been going retrograde since October. And so Mercury has also been going retrograde since October. So I don't know if anyone has noticed, but since October there's been a lot of s funky stuff happening with relationships, So causing a lot of people to review relationships, maybe a lot of break ups happening, lots of conflict, those kinds of things. She's like, don't worry, everything's gonna get better, and it's gonna be don't worry, just hang on, just hang in there. but that's what I like about learning astrology is that I feel like it's helped me maybe handle life a little better. these are the transits in the sky. This is what's happening right now. It's about it's bound to happen. It's gonna happen. let me prepare more or brace myself for this, and then I can handle it, Next time something happens to me, I'm just gonna text you and be like, Jazz, is Mercury in Mercury in Fredrog right now, bitch. it's an endless void. there's so much. It never stops. Yeah, it never stops. there's there's things called astro cartography where based on where you are in the world it your chart changes and you feel different energies based on different places and All those kinds of things. so yeah, there's so much you can delve into. Yeah. Yeah. And I think there's something really intriguing about learning about something that you can learn and learn and learn and you never seem to know enough. And that's what I've loved about the astrology and with my ADHD hyperfixation. ADHD girl. Yeah, there's always something new I can learn and there's another You're like, I like the same stuff, but I like different stuff. okay. Well, thank you so much, Jazz. if anyone is interested, wants to check out my website, Moon in Mind Wellness, they can check out, get a reading. Yes, Moon in Mind Wellness, please, please, visit and we're gonna go. Thank you. Do any of y'all listen to ASMR? Let's talk about it. Y'all, before there was Lexapro, there was ASMR. And for those that don't know, because I'm sure there's plenty out there that don't, ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response. I know. I know. those weird videos where people just whisper into the microphone for an hour and just tap on things and squeeze swishies and scratch different objects? Yeah. That would be it. My husband is very familiar with ASMR just because I use it to go to sleep a lot of nights. And I'm telling you, if you've never tried it, you need to try it. On nights where I've got a lot on my mind, or I wake up and I'm stir crazy. I just put some headphones on and I'm asleep in five minutes. Tops. I don't know the science. I don't know how it works. it gives you that tingly feeling. Again, I can't tell you why, but I can tell you it calms down my million mile an hour brain. It could be 2 p.m. and I'm up dressed and ready to go grocery shopping. And if ASMR comes on, I'm out. Down for the count, baby. If you are trouble falling asleep, girly, I would at least give it a shot. what do you have to lose? Y'all are like, just my dignity. It's funny because I actually suggested it to my husband one time. Because he always makes fun of me for it and he He came across this woman who is like in a bikini whispering things like good job today and Mm. Weird shit like that. You know what I mean? And he was just like, I couldn't take it seriously. I'm like, yeah, maybe watch a different one next time. Because I feel like you're cheating on me when you watch that. so I actually do have a crazy story time today. And to be honest, this story isn't even about me. It's about someone very close to me whom I love and adore, and is the very reason on earth that I breathe. My mother. So, with her permission, I am going to share her story with you, Spiral Squad. So my sisters and my mom and I are all in a group chat. Y'all know what I'm talking about. This group chat's been going on since the dawn of time. Okay. I can't even tell you what year this group chat was created, but a couple months ago, my sister Erin, I have three sisters by the way. Erin is the third youngest and she has three kids. Erin tells us that she did a 23 in meet. those ancestry kit things. And she got the results back. And she's just filling us in on descent and heritage and all that fun stuff. But she also tells us something odd that came up in her relative chart. This random woman who we've never met looks to be in her mid to late 40s, comes up as possibly a great aunt. They base the relationship of a relative based on the percentage of DNA you share. So it's just a guess until more people that share that same DNA also do the 23andMe, if that makes sense. So she shows us and she shows my mom and she asks my mom if she has any clue who this woman is or how we could be related to her. And my mom was clueless. The kicker of this though is that this woman lived near where my mom was originally from. So we were kind of intrigued. we decided the only way to figure this out is to have my mom do a 23andMe to see if this woman comes up on hers as well and see, if so, what is their relationship? So she does one. And while we're waiting for the results, because it takes a few days to even get the kit, and then another couple weeks to get the results, we start Facebook digging, just trying to see if we can find anybody in this family. That we recognize so we can try to put these pieces together. we come across this woman's dad, the one that came up in the 23 and me as my sister's great aunt. And you guys, this man has my mom's eyes. So just a little backstory on my mom. She was born in Virginia. Her mom, my nanny, passed away several years ago now. She has a half sister who she grew up thinking was her full sister because that's what was always told to her. she has a stepdad who is my papa, who has been in her life since she was little and has treated her like his daughter and has always treated us like his granddaughters. And then she has a half brother who was my nanny's and my papa's son. My nanny always told my mother that her real dad left when she was very young, under two years old, maybe. My mom never had a relationship with him, he never really tried to have a relationship with her or any of us. all my mom had of him was a couple photos from when she was a baby of her sitting on his lap and whatnot. And then once my nanny passed away. My mom's sister ends up finding out that she doesn't have the same dad as my mom. I can't remember how she found out. I think my papa told her. but seeing this picture of this man who kind of looks like my mom, who is still very much alive, who has a daughter that is showing that we are related to in some way, you know, the gears just kind of started turning. Anyways, we get the results back, and it comes back that this woman. is indeed my mom's half sister. Y'all. Twenty-three and me is wild to think we never would have known. but yeah, to make a long story a little bit less long, we ended up finding out about a whole slew of relatives that we have that we've never known about. My mom doesn't just have a sister. She has two sisters and two brothers And nieces and nephews, which are our cousins, which is wild. But yeah, she's been talking to her newly found bro. He's been really nice, keeping that side of the family informed. And yeah, obviously just very crazy and exciting. I wish I had more news to share on it, but that's kind of where it ends because this is very much current and ongoing. So I'll keep y'all posted with more updates as they unfold. But I feel like it was such a exciting and crazy story to share. So y'all are welcome. and just a reminder to go get your 23 and me done, bitch, because you might have some family out there who you never met to. All right, Spiral Squad. Welcome to this week's Pause for Perspective. I was talking about going through tough times earlier, and I want to touch back on that because y'all, I know life can suck. I've been in the trenches, girlies. When I say trenches, I've been through some shit. But that's the thing. You gotta go through some shit to be a bad bitch. Okay. Ain't no bad bitch. Who ain't dug themselves out of the hollow rock caves, okay? That's what makes us badass bitches. That's what makes us iconic. We live, we learn, we grow. Shit's changing because you're changing. We can't grow and flourish and thrive if we aren't becoming better and more beautiful versions of ourselves, right? When the tide starts to change, do not waste your energy treading water. Ride the wave, baby. Let the current take you. stop worrying so much. You got it, babe. Everything placed in front of you is there for a reason or a season. Either way, you're gonna be just fine. You may come out with scars, but ain't nothing a bad bitch can't handle. What's the result of loads of pressure? a rock solid bright and shiny diamond bitch. Time to wrap it up, my unhinged baddies. As always, thank you so much for listening. And you already know the deal. If you have a crash out you want heard, go ahead and submit your spiral to Casually crashing out pod at gmail.com. That is casually crashingout pod at gmail.com because every crash out deserves its five seconds of fame. And remember, just because you're casually crashing, doesn't mean you're crashing alone. See you next time. Same time, different chaos.