speaker-1: Faith Baptist Church in Taylors presents This Week in the Word. Well welcome back to This Week in the Word at FBC Taylors. Again, you can find us anywhere that you get your podcast. And for those that have been listening or watching our podcast or just know our church, welcome back, Pastor Andrew Starr. No, thank you. You were actually gone over the weekend. I was. preaching of the wilds, I guess. Yeah. So thankful for the opportunity you had there at the teen retreat. Had a good

speaker-0: It was good. It was good. A lot of teens and honestly just receptive hearts. And so I'm praying that the Lord would continue to work in hearts.

speaker-1: Praise the Lord. Yeah. And I bring that up only to say we're we're we're abundantly blessed to have you as a youth pastor, even someone that other tr ministries are seeking out to minister to the teens and to let you have that opportunity. Some of our teens went too, which I'm thankful for. Yeah. That's a good time. And you were there Sunday morning, got back Sunday night, and continued it. You missed where our we're dovetailing with the topic that we have today. And we were in first Corinthians chapter five last week, first chapter six this week. You and I talked on Friday in preparation even for this today's podcast. I wanna talk with you about having a critical mind versus having a critical spirit. What's the difference?

speaker-0: We'll jump right into that, what the difference is. And I believe that all of us will fall in one of these two categories. One is positive, the other one is negative. One helps, the other one hurts. Right.

speaker-1: Maybe we could start this way. You ever notice how easy it is to find something wrong with other people?

speaker-0: yeah. Super

speaker-1: Or even just to find something wrong in the church. Right? Music isn't quite right. Sermon could have been better. Announcements are too long or at the wrong time. The decisions of leadership aren't what you would have done. Someone said something you didn't like. Something was done differently than you expected. And before long, you become the person who always has something to say about what someone else is doing wrong. And now let's be clear. Clear as we get into these two different things, critical mind or critical spirit, we ought to exercise discernment. That's not, we're not saying you shouldn't. We ought to measure everything against the Word of God. We shouldn't check our brains at the church door, and biblical discernment is not the enemy of Christian unity. But there's a difference between having a critical mind and having a critical spirit. And that's what we want to talk about even today.

speaker-0: Yeah, it goes from one is is really dealing with the thinking aspect of things, the other one is dealing with the heart and how we're we're truly responding. Right. And one is there to help, the other one is there and is jabbing and is hurting. Right. And if one is there, present, the one that helps, it's a wonderful thing. But if the other one there that hurts is present, it really could bog down a ministry, it can hurt a person, it can cause someone not to do something that is effective for the cause of Christ. And that's where as Christians, I believe that we need to make sure that we are making sure that our mind is critically thinking, but that our heart is not critical towards us.

speaker-1: We can even d really simply define it and and there's more to this, and I want to add more to this. A critical mind judges the matter, a critical spirit seeks to judge the person. Exactly. And and there's more to that, that that than just those definition. JC Ryle put it this way. What our Lord means to condemn is a sincerious and fault-finding spirit, a readiness to blame others for trifling offenses or matters of indifference, a habit of passing rash and hasty judgments. A disposition to magnify the errors and infirmities of our neighbors and make the worst of them, this is what our Lord forbids, as we're talking about a critical spirit or a critical mind. And we're gonna go through this podcast today for our listeners, and we're gonna follow two parts of that. We're gonna look at the critical mind and the critical spirit. We're gonna talk about both from the book of Proverbs predominantly, what is good, what is bad. And maybe we could start with the good would you well, I could ask you, would you like the good news first or the bad news first?

speaker-0: Let's go good news. Otherwise we have to switch your PowerPoint.

speaker-1: Well, we can start with the part one of today's podcast, and that is that wisdom does demand a critical mind. And that let's look at some of these proverbs together and comment on them. First of all, discernment in Proverbs and other passages is commanded. This is Proverbs 14, verse 15. The simple believeth every word, but the prudent man looketh well to his own going. So discernment is not a bad thing. It's not. And you teach we we teach Discernment to our young people, we must learn discernment as an adult. How are we going to discern a matter? Well, Proverbs goes further and says, to discern a matter, you need to hear the whole matter. Proverbs 18 verse 13, he that answers a matter before he hears it, it is a folly and shame to him. Proverbs 18, verse 17, he that is first in his own cause seems just, but his neighbor comes and searches him. So you need to hear the whole matter. And a lot of discernment, unfortunately, a lot of even in conflict with people. A lot of the conflict comes from, frankly, people only hearing one side of a matter, coming to a conclusion about that decision, and then never actually hearing the other matter, and that's what those proverbs is talking about. You do need to hear the whole matter.

speaker-0: I do think that this is something that we're more guilty of than we think. Right. We've got our friends, we've got our groups, we've got our sides, and we hear those sides and we're not taking the extra time to go hear the other side. And therefore coming to a conclusion that we believe is real but we've not searched out the whole matter. We've not exercised that discernment. Right.

speaker-1: Very recently, I I you know, not recently, but over time, I've had a conversation with someone. I remember recently having a conversation with someone where they came with a decision that they had already made, sat in my office, told me the decision based on information they believed to be true. There were no questions, and then when they were done with their little spiel, I just said, Can I read one proverb to you? This was a godly man. And I respected him to be godly, and I read Proverbs 18. both verse thirteen and verse seventeen, but particularly verse thirteen, he that answers a matter before he hears it, it's a falling shame to him, and said, You've made a lot of statements, but you've not yes asked and yet asked any questions. Did you have any questions? And he said, Well, okay. He asked some questions and he discovered in that first meeting, he had come to a conclusion before hearing the whole matter. Unfortunately in his case, his wife wasn't present with him. He had to go home and Tell his wife, I guess, and it it began a process of three more meetings after that where you're still coming to a conclusion, but you hadn't heard the whole matter. Once you come to that conclusion, before you hear the whole matter, it's a folly, it's a shame, is what what Proverbs is saying.

speaker-0: Is it fair to say that if we're not willing to hear the other side, that we've skipped the whole critical mind step anyway? And we've entered right into a critical spirit? Because we don't even if we were to hear the other side, would we be okay with the other side? Are we fearful that the other side might be the truth? And have we skipped that whole critical mind stage anyway and have entered into our hearts, this is what I believe is true, and I'm gonna believe it no matter what. I don't wanna hear the other side, this is where I'm at. And it begins to now be. and this back and forth spirit of just jabbing and not wanting to know the whole truth.

speaker-1: Well, and it's an easy false counterfeit. We're gonna talk about counterfeits because the false counterfeit of a critical mind is a critical spirit. And and one of the false counterfeits of working through problems relationally, even in the church, is to seek counsel from my own echo chamber. And to say, Well, I actually talked to other people. Yeah, but you never talked to the source. You never talked to the actual ones that were making the decisions supposedly that you disagreed with. That's not actually seeking counsel. That's not actually hearing the whole matter. That's going to someone outside. And that's One of the contentions that I would draw from the modern counseling movement is that sometimes it can be violating of Proverbs 18. Not always, but sometimes it can be a violation of Proverbs 18, especially if the counselor were to sit across from someone listening to what they're having to say and have no idea what what they're referring to on the other side.

speaker-0: Yeah. I remember doing that as a teen, right? Because you you hear one thing from your parents, you hear one thing from authority, and then you want to go get a second opinion. So you run to your teen friends. can you believe that so-and-so's telling me to do this? I can't believe that. Why would they ever tell you that? Right. And you're talking with your peers, and that's the group that you keep going back to for wisdom and discernment when it really should be those that really have the spiritual guidance, the spiritual wisdom that are going to help you make those right spiritual choices.

speaker-1: And isn't it interesting, Proverbs 1817 is why he's saying he that is first in his own cause seems just. The one who answers the question first or the issue first seems to be the one that's right, but his neighbor comes and searches him. So until someone comes along and says, Well, actually, so there's the discernment aspect. So we're not saying you shouldn't have a critical mind. You should. How can I challenge it? Well, if I'm here on the other side, Here's another proverb to consider, proverb twenty seven, verse seventeen. Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. So I do need to have honest, loving, sometimes hard conversations with other people to continue to be building that discernment.

speaker-0: And it's it's in that verse that there's gonna be some friction there. It's not plastic sharpens plastic, right? It's iron sharpens iron. So there there's gonna be times which it goes against what we're currently thinking and someone comes along and says, Hey, I'd encourage you to think this way. I'd encourage you to hear the whole matter. It's not what we want to hear in that moment, but it's exactly what we need to be sharpened.

speaker-1: Yeah. Well what if so here's the challenge. Let's do a scenario. I've I've already come to a conclusion in my mind. So I go to someone because I wanna be scriptural, but my spirit in going needs to be careful. What kind of spirit should I have as I'm going to someone to be challenged? What kind of spirit should I have in there? Well

speaker-0: Definitely humble because what you're going in with, your presuppositions, your thoughts may not be right. So a proud person goes in thinking, this is truth. Regardless of what you're about to say, this is truth. That's a that's a proud spirit. You also need to have a teachable spirit, which I think is kind of a byproduct of being humble, but understand that when you go into that conversation, you may be hearing things that you need to change yourself. So being willing to go in, hear the matter and say, okay, I wasn't quite right in my thinking on this. And so therefore I need to have a teachable spirit, a humble spirit that walks out of that conversation, not wanting to condemn, but wanting to sharpen my own life, my own spiritual life.

speaker-1: And let's say I'm wrong. And I go into that conversation with a conclusion that I have formed, and I'm wrong. And my friend tells me I'm wrong. Is that bad? Well, there's some proverbs about that too. Correction can be love. Here's Proverbs twenty-seven, verse six. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Or Proverbs twenty-eight, verse three: He that rebukes a man afterwards shall find more favor. Than he that flattereth with the tongue. Yeah. So you do need people in your life to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, you've come to a conclusion about something. You're wrong about that conclusion, brother. I love you enough to tell you that. Now, that's something we need to check in our own lives if we even have that kind of friend group. Right.

speaker-0: We actually just went over this in youth group about a month ago on Proverbs Night. And it is way better to have a friend that's gonna come to you and be honest and point out things that are gonna help you and do so in this critical mind type of spirit than to have friends that are just gonna allow you to live the way you wanna live and not say anything. What friend would you rather have? That's what the kisses of an enemy are are deceitful. Right. It's just let's just live the way that we're living. No one likes confrontation, no one likes to be told What they're doing is wrong. So therefore I'm gonna hang around those that aren't gonna do it. But it ends up being a kiss of an enemy instead of a wound of a friend.

speaker-1: But we need and and that's where it's so challenging is we're we're thinking through discernment. And this we're not here saying discernment is bad. We're actually saying the opposite. Discernment is good, but discernment means that I'm surrounding myself with iron sharpening iron relationships. Iron sharpening iron is going to be a clash at times and necessitate hard conversation. Yeah. And sometimes saying, you know, you're actually wrong about what you're doing, right? You know. I I was trying to find this illustration as you were talking, one that is pretty commonly used, one of those old I love the old sermon illustrations sometimes. I don't use them as much because most people heard the canned ones. But here's a canned one. It says, Imagine two men walking onto a construction site where a church building is being built. The first man walks around the property with a clipboard, he noticed the imperfections immediately. There's a board that isn't perfectly straight, a nail is sticking out, the paint doesn't match quite right, one wall is a little uneven, and he makes a mental list of everything that isn't right. The second man walks onto the same construction site, notice the same things. He sees the crooked board, he notices the nail, he recognizes the paint needs attention, but instead of simply documenting the problems, he asks a very informative question. This is the difference between a critical spirit. And a critical mind. One guy's walking around the construction site with a clipboard pointing out all the problems. The other guy's seeing all the same problems, but his notes have a question in mind. Ready for the question? What can I do to help? There's a difference.

speaker-0: It is. I remember growing up, my dad would always tell me, and really he had this mindset of the church as well. And also in in life. He said, Don't be problem pointers, be solution seekers. Yeah. And if you have that type of mentality, you'll see problems. But the person that always points out the problems and makes a big deal of them are probably the first people to not jump in and help out to solve it. So a critical mind is that type of person that says, okay, I see the problems. How can I be used of God to help with those problems? Right. That keeps you from going into a critical spirit.

speaker-1: Right. So let's talk about a critical spirit. Because Proverbs talks a lot about this counterfeit of a critical mind. And the counterfeit of a critical mind is a critical spirit. And maybe you that that we could use some Proverbs because the Bible tells us, Proverbs 16, verse 2, that God weighs the spirit. Proverbs 16, verse 2, all the ways of men are clean in his own eyes. But the Lord weigheth the spirit. And Proverbs 21, verse 2, every man Is right in his own eyes, but the Lord ponders the heart. So God is the one searching out and seeing the spirit of the man in this critical even aspect. Proverbs eight thirty verse twelve, there is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, how lofty are their eyes, and their eyelids are lifted up. You can they're they're very arrogant, is what he's saying. Now there's a New Testament example of Two characters that you use right before we hit record that may play out well for people to understand the difference between these. Because you might say, well, I'm serving in the church. I'm I don't have a critical spirit. I have a critical mind. I'm actually serving. And there's an illustration to that.

speaker-0: I think if you were to ask Martha that same question in the moment, Martha, do you right now have a critical mind or a critical spirit? She'd probably say, I have a critical mind. But what transpires in that passage really shows her spirit where she comes waltzing into where Mary and Jesus are, and she's so concerned about why Mary is not helping. There's so much to do. Christ is in my house. I've opened my house. I'm being hospitable. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a Christian. But as she walks into the room, you can easily tell from that passage that she's not at the critical mind stage. She's in the critical spirit because now she's attacking. She's not trying to ask, Lord, have I, am I missing something? Should I be in here like Mary or should I be? She waltz in and says, Mary is not doing it's a critical spirit.

speaker-1: And that's almost where you see that play out in the churches in our churches, even in twenty twenty twenty-first century here, where where does the critical spirit come from? Often it's from a busybody, right? It can often be someone who's actually doing a lot of things but has the wrong heart attitude behind it. Or someone who has somehow equated service with their hands to the church with actually service for God. Yeah. And and it's a dangerous thing. And we become very lifted up in our own eyes, which is what Proverbs is saying. And perhaps the the the New Testament book that is demonstrating that this church is full of critical spirits instead of critical minds, it's gotta be First Corinthians. Yeah. Paul, somewhat with a sarcastic bend, has said once in chapter one, verse ten, another time in chapter four, how wise you guys really are. Well, you guys really have it all figured out, huh? I wish it's just a chapter four. I wish we apostles had as much wisdom as you, the Corinthians, have. Sarcasm

speaker-0: Sarcasm comes out of that chapter.

speaker-1: does come out in that chapter. And they're very clearly, they really think they figured it out. And Paul is saying, you've obviously not figured it out. And that is what Proverbs is warning against. This is a critical mind. Critical mind is very arrogant. You and your mind think you've figured it out.

speaker-0: Yeah. And oftentimes, and you're right, those that are very busy for the Lord oftentimes struggle the most with the critical spirit. And behind a critical spirit, you'll oftentimes find a hurt spirit. They've been hurt somewhere and now they're taking it out on somebody else. Like they they look at how long they've served, how much they've served, and now they begin to look at other people and say, Well, they're not doing near that. Right. And the critical spirit kicks in. Right. Instead of coming alongside of somebody and saying, Hey, have you ever thought about helping in this area, I think you'd be great in that. Right. we have a need. I think you would fit that need. Instead it's a I can't believe you're not serving. Why

speaker-1: Yeah, why can't you see as much as I

speaker-0: can't you do what I'm doing?

speaker-1: we had we just it was a privilege to host the GFA interim conferences you were telling that story, and Marsh Fant, who was the interim pastor before here, helps lead that. And one of the things he often speaks to with the men who are mostly retired pastors now going interim interim, is he often says, the worst church member on the planet is a retired pastor. And And I will tell you before I go further, that is not true at Faith Baptist and Taylor's. Where we've got some wonderful But his his point that he's trying to make, I I believe, because I know his heart, is often people that have been so involved in ministry and perhaps had a poor end come into another ministry and become a And whether it be senior pastor or youth pastor, that's certainly the case.

speaker-0: You you bring those hurts with you. Right. You bring that critical spirit with you and then it becomes divisive. And Satan loves that. That's not what the Lord wants. Right. Lord wants his his church to be unified. Right. But a critical spirit will divide and will sour the attitude of the room.

speaker-1: Yeah, before we go further, we're not saying that our church is perfect. Frankly, we're not saying any church is perfect. And you had some even some quotes to that end as you were looking at an article on that.

speaker-0: Charles Spurgeon said this the church is imperfect, but woe to the man who takes pleasure and pointing out her imperfections. And what Charles Spurgeon is not saying is don't have a critical mind. He's saying have a critical mind. There there are imperfections and you're going to see them. But the whole point of that quote is this woe to the man that takes pleasure. It it's a it's a real temptation. To have a critical spirit that says, I'm gonna point out any flaw that I can see. And there must be some sort of self-gratification to that because maybe we've got it all figured out and the church doesn't, so I'm gonna point this out and they ought to be like me. No one ever really comes out and says that, but a critical spirit screams off the pages that you need to have it figured out like I do.

speaker-1: And this is what Proverbs refers to as the scorner. That the this word you'll see in the Hebrew, and of course, it's translated into our English. This is the scorner. You see him referenced many, many times in a scorner. He's someone who is a mocker, he's a derider, he's someone who's consistently he's he is the I would say the scorner in Proverbs is the critical spirit of Proverbs. And there are many different references to him. Years ago I I preached through Proverbs like you've been doing. Proverbs is a hard book to preach through verse by verse. Yeah, so if you're gonna do an exercise even on your own, this would be a good one. You can look up all the references to the scorner in Proverbs, and you can kind of paint a portrait of what he has. And here's just kind of a graphic that has now since been updated to look a little bit fresher than when I first preached as a youth pastor. But here's a portrait of a scorner. It talks about his eyes, his mouth, his mind, his ears. Let's start with his mind. Right, Proverbs 14, verse 6. A scorner seeks wisdom and finds it not. What's he, what is that talking about? Well, he's figured it all out himself. Right? No one can correct him. He's got it all. His ears, he will. Proverbs 13, verse 9. A scorner hears not rebuke. he's figured it out. When you try to correct him, I'm not going to listen to you. His eyes, Proverbs 26, verse 12. He seest thou a man wise in his own conceit. There is more hope of a fool than of him. there's no way he can even see himself in the mirror. And his mouth, the mouth of fools, Proverbs 15 verse two, pours out its foolishness. It you can tell that he's a scorner by listening to him talk, frankly. And that's a good evaluation of our own lips before we evaluate someone else's.

speaker-0: It's a good evaluation of our own lips, our own eyes, our own ears, our own mouth. And it's also a good evaluation of who we're hanging around. If we if we see this and we say, boy, that sounds like so-and-so that I hang around all the time. Be very careful. You you wanna mark these people and and not give them the time of day, basically. Right. You you don't you will become just like them. And we don't want that to happen. We wanna find those that have that critical mind, that that see the imperfections but are willing to step in and say, How how can I be A solution to the problem. Yeah. Instead of the person that points it out with a heart that says, I've got it all figured out and you guys don't.

speaker-1: Let's use First Corinthians as we're in on Sunday mornings. First Corinthians chapter six is talking about basically lawsuits amongst brothers, and they're bringing it before the unsaved church. Paul in that context isn't saying criminal cases. He's saying civil disputes, you know. and within these civil disputes, he's not saying that you're wrong to be wrong, like to be hurt by that wrong. That's not what he's saying. He's saying, can you weigh this against the value of eternity? Like what actually matters? Like when we get to heaven. Is it going to matter all that much? Okay, let's use that example just from a Sunday service, all right? There are things that happen at a church on a Sunday that can wait till Monday. They're just dark. All right. Does it matter to the church if the coffee maker broke on Sunday? Is that something that is worthy of getting worked up about? Do we need coffee to have church on Sunday?

speaker-0: Depends on you ask.

speaker-1: But we can become so consumed on that little issue that it's it it we can't get past it. Now I know that's a small issue, but we can raise the stake.

speaker-0: a small issue but when you walk into into church and and that's what you're concerned about is something like that has thrown your day off then you walked into church with the wrong perspective anyway. It's it's all about the Lord. Right. And if I walk into church with that mindset I'm here to worship my God and my God doesn't care that the coffee maker's broken. Right. That that that's how a critical mind would think. What what does God think? A critical spirit says, What do I think? That's that's

speaker-1: Difference. But you could raise the stakes. you coffee maker to the location of my Sunday school room, to the size of my Sunday school class, to whatever it is. And all of a sudden, these things that are not, let's be honest, they're not important, become important to me, and now I'm going to talk about them. And that's the problem. Because the tongue actually does reveal the spirit, right? There's a healthy side and a sword side, right? This is Proverbs 12, verse 18. There is a there is that speaketh. the piercings of the sword. That's the scorner. The healthy side is the tongue of the wise is is is a health is wise of health. the scorner, his his grievous words stir up anger. That's what he does. Whereas the wise man a soft answer turns away wrath. The scorner is perverse, is a breach in his spirit, whereas the wise man a wholesome tongue is a tree of life. And I bring this up because Proverbs does not just point out the problems, it gives the solutions. Yeah. And even in those verses, you see both sides.

speaker-0: Yes. And I I see even in those those verses you've got grievous words stir up anger. Normally what happens in that moment is I see the problem, so I'm gonna go to my group of people and talk about it. And a good question to really ask is by bringing this up, am I bringing it up to somebody that can help with a solution, or am I bringing it up to a group of people that are gonna stir up strife? Right. A lot of times we bring up our concerns and our problems with people that have no way of even providing a solution and what it It ends up being is a gossip fest. We

speaker-1: We just defined

speaker-0: take our critical spirit and we duplicate it and we put it into somebody else. And our critical spirit multiplies. And now we've got not just one person with a critical spirit, now we've got a whole group of people with a critical spirit. And it could have been fixed if we just had a critical mind and said, you know what, I see the flaw. How can I be a solution to that and go to the people that that it it concerns?

speaker-1: Be part of the solution is what we're trying to say. And and and well, Proverbs is trying to, I don't want we to try to say we're trying to. Proverbs already said it. Proverbs said it. Be part of the solution. Don't stir up more problems. You just defined it, I think, exactly right. The counterfeit of a critical mind is a critical spirit. The counterfeit of solving problems in the body is gossip in the body. That the these and and some and no one would say, well, I'm a gossip. But you would say, well, yeah, but who are you talking to about problems or perceived problems that you've seen? If you're not talking to those who can be part of the solution and you are not actively trying to be a part of the solution, you are a gossip.

speaker-0: Yeah. And you've said it several times and you could say it again. Talk to the people, not about the people. Right. If you just think that, then that would help you a lot, not be in those gossip conversations.

speaker-1: And you could say, there's a cer I love Pastor Chris isn't here, so we could we could use him. I should have put his chart, his graph. it

speaker-0: It's a great chart.

speaker-1: is. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm gonna try to remember all the parts. But there's the the circle of influence. In well, it starts with the circle of accountability. Accountability. These are the things that you are directly responsible for. You are directly, you know, y you have to get that job done. And there are things that you are accountable for in this life. You're a dad. You're accountable for your kid's discipleship. Your husband, so on, right? You're directly responsible for that. Then right outside that circle, there's a circle of influence. You are not directly accountable for it, but the person who is there, or persons who are directly accountable for that have given you a voice to speak into that influence, right? And so you can speak into that, and and that's a that's an appropriate circle for you to be in. And then there's the circle of concern. You are not an influential voice and you are not directly accountable for it. And sometimes when we get those circles wrong is where we begin to bear burdens that aren't our burdens to bear and become very critical in our spirits.

speaker-0: And it may be that we just feel like we have no no way of fixing the problem, so we immediately go to the critical spirit. It's not my concern, but it is my concern. Right. And then we enter into that critical spirit stage.

speaker-1: Right, and we gotta be careful. Because I could point out a problem with anybody, including myself, but there is an element, and I know we live in a culture that's like, well, transparency is the calling card. Yeah, but there's more than that also at stake. Because Proverbs 18, or 10, verse 12, rather, says, hate stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. And Paul, of course, picks that up when he defines love. That love covers a multitude of sins.

speaker-0: Yeah, and it's a good check for us as well. If we're talking about somebody to somebody else and their flaws and and it's not gonna help the situation and we're not out of concern saying, Hey, I I saw this, I'm concerned. A lot of times we cover up gossip with a prayer request or I'm so concerned about. but hey,

speaker-1: Got a juicy perquished for me that you

speaker-0: I n so and so told me not to tell anybody. If you tell me, if you say that you won't tell anybody, then I'll tell you. That's how it normally goes.

speaker-1: I can't tell you the name of this person but they came to me with a concern but I don't have r I have don't have permission to share their name.

speaker-0: But let your mind go wander that you could try to fill in the blanks.

speaker-1: First of all, if you have a problem that someone told you they can't tell you their name, don't tell me that. That's gossip.

speaker-0: Exactly. And honestly, this verse here in Proverbs tells us that if that is our mindset, we hate people. If we cover up their sins, like we're not, it's not a cover up, like, I won't tell anybody that you did that. Right. It is a, hey, did you hear what so and so did? And if you're entering into that conversation, you hate that person. You're stirring up strife. But the person that says, you know what, I I'm gonna pray for that person. And I'm not gonna make this public. I wanna cover that transgression. They're making it right. They're doing what they can for reconciliation's sake, and I'm gonna love that person, so I'm not gonna talk.

speaker-1: Yeah, people come, well, can you give me an how how can I pray for that issue? Yeah. Now if unless anybody thinks that we're just cherry picking one proverb out of this, there are many others. Proverbs seventeen verse nine, he that covers a transgression seeks love, but he that repeateth a matter separates very friends. Proverbs nineteen verse eleven. The discretion of a man defers his anger, and it is a glory to pass over a transgression.

speaker-0: I actually had a I should have brought this up, but I had this lesson with the teens and I titled it How to Stir Up Strife. And I went to the proverbs and I pulled out all of these and I said if you if you hear of somebody that does something, go tell other people. Yep. Like go to anybody you can and talk about it. That that would stir up strife. And I I pulled out all these proverbs, like if you want to stir up strife, here's how to do it. And it was very obvious, like we don't want to do that, but at the same time, that is kind of what we do. We find ourselves being the center of strife that is stirring up and it's these simple proverbs that could really help us.

speaker-1: Well, and it's is again, getting back to why this week in the word is for this week. We we just finished First Corinthians five and six. And I encourage any of our listeners, if you didn't get a chance to go and go back and listen to those very messages where we did talk about both of those topics. And one of the things that's interesting in chapter six is that Paul begins with how dare you? I cannot the audacity that you would take a disagreement with brothers and bring it into the common court and play it out before the world. How could a Christian ever do that? That's Paul's, I'm shocked that you would do that. But don't we do that all the time? And frankly, the temptation nowadays, I believe the application goes much beyond just the simple lawsuit. This could still play out on a social media post, on a blog, on a text exchange, your conversation at the water cooler at your workplace. That is still the very same thing. And Paul is saying, how dare you play that out? From a brother in Christ play that out before the world. How could Christians ever do that? Yeah.

speaker-0: It's not a good look. In fact, it's that's what we do. Yeah. How are you different? We jab at each other, we we attack each other, and the church does that too. It's not really appealing. Why would I want that? Right. And so it gives a great picture of who Christ is when we cover a transgression, when we love others, when we don't talk about others, but we like Matthew tells us to, Christ tells us to, go to that person and talk to that person and admonish that person.

speaker-1: Right. Again, you call it discernment is our subtitle. I c almost called this podcast this, but you call it discernment. God might call it something else. Right.

speaker-0: And that is the the the convicting thought is that we can we can disguise a jab. We're very good at it. We're talking to somebody and we disguise a dagger and we jab somebody and everybody else around doesn't think anything of it, but you know your heart. And God knows your heart. Every comment that we make, God searches the heart and we answer to the Lord. And we know when we are intentionally trying to hurt somebody. And we know when we have that critical spirit. And it may be that you do have legitimate concerns about something, but your spirit is not right. Take 24 hours and pray. Take time to say, Lord, I see a problem. I believe that this is not what you would have, but my spirit is not right. So before I go talk to somebody, Holy Spirit, help me to have your spirit. in going into this conversation, I think that would really help some conversations.

speaker-1: And be willing to not answer a matter before you hear it.

speaker-0: Exactly. You may go into that conversation and realize, boy, I'm a fool. I definitely believed what was not true. So going into that conversation with the spirit that is humble, that is teachable, that is not proud, and that should be a really good conversation. And that's an iron sharpens iron type of conversation.

speaker-1: Some of this, many of much of this comes back to disagreements between brothers, and we have a principle on that even. Matthew 18, written by our Lord, quoted in by Matthew, said by our Lord, taught the process by which church discipline is to be administered. Of course, 1 Corinthians 5, of course, bringing that back into play. And there is there are four steps. And I want to dovetail on what you just said as we walk through those steps, right? You start with going to the brother that's offended you, or that you believe is in sin. And Let's say that brother won't hear you, then you bring two or three witnesses with you. Why do you bring two or three witnesses with you in step two? Well, because two things. One, you might be wrong. And I think that needs to be your first thinking. You are convinced that the brother is in sin, and that's why you're now bringing two or three witnesses with you. I understand that, but you're bringing two or three witnesses also because you might be wrong. And those two or three witnesses could come and say, Well, actually. You're wrong. Now, if you are right, those two or three witnesses can confirm, and then that would hasten to step three, which is now you bring it to the church. If they won't hear it to the church, that would move it to step four, let him be removed from you. And that's where Paul says, let him you know, don't even eat with such a one, first Corinthians chapter five. But I want to pause on chap on step two, because that is the iron sharpening iron aspect of a critical mind versus a critical spirit, because many they would say, Well, I'm right, there's no way anybody could ever correct me. No, y you need you need that iron sharp.

speaker-0: Yeah. Don't bring your corner into that conversation either. You go get godly people that can speak to both sides. Right. If you bring your your groupies into that conversation, you're gonna gang up on a person instead of trying to win them. And if you're wrong, you'll never be faced with the truth.

speaker-1: Recently in our pastoral step meeting, we had someone saying, Well, we have to leave the church because we disagree with the leadership decisions of this church. And I went to the pastors and said the person's name and said, Did that person talk to you? You you went all around the room, all the pastors that are in the room presently at F. C. Taylor's. Did you talk to any of these pastors who are the leaders in the church? No, that person never talked Okay, well th then that person is, not seeking counsel. How can you say that? Well I I disagree with the leadership of the church, but you never actually talked to any of the leadership. That's that's a critical mind. That's not a critical s that that's not a critical spirit, that's a critical mind. You you actually came to a conclusion, but you never actually talked to anybody who made those decisions.

speaker-0: You already made up your mind. It didn't mind. It didn't matter what anybody else said. Your heart, your spirit was already critical towards the

speaker-1: But you sought counsel, supposedly, but you didn't actually seek counsel, seemingly. You you were unwilling to get past this. And that's a very easy thing. I don't want us to just shoot arrows across the table. I want us to look at our hearts. That's very easy to do for our own selves. It's very easy to do. Which is why we need each other to really check ourselves. Exactly. You know. Critical mind or critical spirit. One judges the matter, the other judges the person. And really what we want to get back to is the kind of attitude that's willing to really engage. Are we saying that discernment's bad? No. No, of course not. We're saying it's good. And we're saying it's needed. And this is a really important conversation. Of course, there's many more proverbs that you could do. if anybody wants to do an exercise, it's a worthy exercise in your own walk to just walk through all the proverbs on a scorner in the in in the book, or all the proverbs on on what love does with their friends and there's just a really a lot thing. This could almost be a side podcast, just Proverbs, walking with Proverbs, which you do on Wednesday night. Yes.

speaker-0: Yeah. Once a month we dive right into practical proverbs for teens. And it's not just for teens, it's it's for adults. And I I actually preface that to the teens and say what we're about to talk about tonight, adults struggle with as well. Right. And if we could write the ship and catch this early, it would really help you out. Right.

speaker-1: I hope this has been a help to our listeners as much as it's been a help to us to think about. We've been stewing on it for a weekend. More than that. We've been how long have we been planning on this one?

speaker-0: A week or so.

speaker-1: Yeah. so I hope it's been a listen to you. If it has been encouragement to you, please let us know. If you have further questions, please let us know those as well. Again, you can email us at info at fbctailors.org. I always forget how to spell that right. Yeah, info at fbctailors.org. Email us with any questions you have. we've Often had podcasts where there's been questions that have been asked. You have not had one of those podcasts yet, though.

speaker-0: No.

speaker-1: So we we need to get you on the spot for answering.

speaker-0: Send you an email.

speaker-1: You can send your own email and then you can respond to yourself. But but those are very helpful. as and if otherwise, if you if this can be helped to someone else in your friend group that that really needs to think through the ramifications of a critical mind versus critical spirit, please do. Yeah, well unless you send your anonymous self. Exactly. If you send a really juicy anonymous email that you from you to you, that'd be great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think there's pastors that get into trouble, right? With that from yeah, anonymous sourcing. Yeah, that we're not going there. All right. That's a different different kind of podcast than what we're trying to do on this show. But again, thank you so much for joining us and thank you, Pastor Stark, for being a part of this. Thank you for joining us today. About Faith Baptist Church

speaker-0: For more information, visit us.

speaker-1: at www.fbctailors.org.