Andy: Hello everyone. Welcome to strange stuff podcast. I'm Andy. And here we are again. Did you, ⁓ did you like your haircut on yesterday's advert, by the way?

Mark: And I'm Mark. Indeed! What? Hang on a second. Was I the king in the advertisement? I couldn't work out whether I was the king or not.

Andy: I did ask for Princess, but it came up with that. yeah, was, it was, I mean, I said make Mark have hair. And the first one that came up with the Fed. Well, it's a crown, wasn't it?

Mark: ⁓ so it was supposed to be me. Yes. ⁓ and it gave me a helmet. I can't remember, didn't I have a beard? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. ⁓ thanks for making me king.

Andy: Yeah, you should have seen the first one. You should have seen the first one. I had to go back and say less beard, more hair.

Mark: You

Andy: basically made you a Muslim the first time with a bald head and a big beard.

Mark: Well, I'm a bit nervous about today's episode because you were kind enough to give me a nice story last time, the sword in the stone. So God knows what is now. I was going to say God knows what it's going to be today. It's going to be blood and guts, blood and guts all over the show.

Andy: Not today. Not today. Now we're going back into the weird and wonderful today. Going back into the weird and wonderful today, but not quite as weird and wonderful as real life.

Mark: No, it's all, you know, you know, we sort of joke about it and we have a go at ⁓ Trump and all of it, but it really is. It's descending into madness. What's going on?

Andy: I don't think we can joke about it anymore. I mean, he's started on Ecuador now. He's just pressing buttons left, right and centre.

Mark: Well, the thing is that, you know, I thought the absolute classic was when, you know, I'm no fan of Stammer, but when he said he's no Churchill, and I thought you absolute arse. Do you think you're a bloody Roosevelt? Do you? That's how you see yourself.

Andy: This is, this is coming from a draft dodging fucking umpa-lumpa coward.

Mark: Exactly. And I thought, really? mean, not that that was the worst of it. I mean, there were so many absolutely insane things going on. what? Well, the thing is that I think the only conclusion is that Israel really does have the child raping videos of Trump.

Andy: I don't even know where to start with my rent. There's nowhere to go. ⁓ They do, definitely. They have got him banged to rights and he is now their bitch.

Mark: Yeah, yes, quite literally. And unfortunately, I think Trump, because I honestly believe that he's the sort of early stages of, of dementia or mental illness, you know, his, his intellectual acumen is such that I don't think he understands anymore. What what's true, what's false, he doesn't, he can't tell the difference.

Andy: I mean, obviously he has no idea of reality because he is someone has come up with the idea of, I know we can get people to feel sorry for you by saying there was an assassination attempt. That will work. It worked last time with the ketchup. So, ⁓ yeah. ⁓ by the way, an Iranian tried to kill Trump, but we foiled the attempt. Yeah, right. ⁓ no, this is the latest one.

Mark: ⁓ ⁓ is that what they say? hadn't heard that. They're claiming. ⁓

Andy: The fucking little midget fella, hegemonie or whatever his name is. The little minister of war. He's the minister of God as well, by the way. That is another very scary thing that are actually equating what's going on with end times. They're basically telling you they're going to press the button. We're going to, the second coming is on its way.

Mark: Hey, Hesketh, know, the minister of war. Yes, I know. Yeah. Yeah. I know.

Andy: And we are gonna deliver God's justice, ⁓ my God!

Mark: and Trump was sent from Jesus.

Andy: Someone needs to send Trump to Jesus this morning. Let's get him on his way. And then there really will be dancing in the streets. Not this fake dancing in the streets.

Mark: Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I completely agree. But I wonder what

Andy: Well, I'm sorry, but if you're going to start agreeing with everything I say, I'm going to have to find a new stooge because you're no good to this podcast anymore if you're just going to agree with me.

Mark: Stooge! What a... equal partner in this adventure!

Andy: That's right. Equal partner.

Mark: No, but what I'm puzzled about is... Well, of course, if the Israelis do release a video of him raping a 12-year-old, then that's the leverage gone. Once they've released it...

Andy: And now, a word from our sponsors. Sorry, that was the wrong button. It's all fake news. It's only stuff. It didn't happen.

Mark: Yeah, exactly. So I wonder what more the Israelis can get out of Trump. I mean, this ludicrous Americans supporting the genocide that happened in Gaza, all of this, we're going to take over Gaza and create a Riviera resort and all of this. That was outstandingly unbelievable that they managed to talk him into doing that. And now

Andy: They were testing the waters. They were seeing how far they could push him. That's they gave him the big one.

Mark: And no, exactly. And now they've pushed him into a war with Iran. So what more can they get out of him? Where is it going to end? Is Israel is going to take over the world or something?

Andy: Mm. I want him to push the button. They want him to.

Mark: I can't believe even Israel, I mean you know, how would that benefit Israel if he does press the button?

Andy: Well, I figure that. They will count on America and Russia and China all blowing each other to pieces and leaving the Middle East more or less unscathed.

Mark: Yeah, but the thing is that their enemy base is in the Middle East. It's not just Iran.

Andy: Yeah, but they're the only ones there with nuclear missiles.

Mark: No, you're right. Absolutely. mean, there's no even point in going over it. you that poor fellow Rubio, you can literally, I mean, these people's souls must leave their bodies. I mean, one day he's saying it was initiated by Israel, and then the following day, he's literally contradicting what he said that, ⁓ no, we were in full control. President Trump was in full control. What?

Andy: So who's in charge? Well, this is a man. Yeah, of course. But the thing is, I sort of feel sorry for him because he has served. I think he served in Vietnam.

Mark: No. I don't, I don't know. No, I don't feel sorry for... ⁓ no, he might've been. He might've been a silver wing, what is it? Silver star. Honorary. I don't know. I don't care.

Andy: Yeah, I think he was in the Marines. I think he started off with good intentions and he's crossed the line and now he doesn't know how to cross it back. But still, he's guilty and he's got to go with the rest of them, a lot of them.

Mark: No, you're right. Yep. No, exactly. Absolutely. Absolutely. And ⁓ anyway, so yeah, so we're in this ridiculous situation where there's literally missiles flying over the Middle East. It's not too far from Europe. Middle East on a map. Really not that far.

Andy: So, I mean, we've got the Eurovision Song Contest this month, haven't we? Or next month? Come on, Israel are in it. This is going to be interesting. And also, what's even more interesting with the World Cup? Because America and Iran are in the same group. And they're supposed to be playing in Ameri-car.

Mark: What? Do we? You're right. Are they really? Really?

Andy: So we'll see. I think it's time that FIFA took back their FIFA Peace Prize and their FIFA Oscar for Melania. And just said, look, we've been corrupt for fucking 60, 70 years, but we're not that stupid. We're going to give the whole thing to Canada and fuck the USA and fuck Mexico because El Mencho's boys ain't playing nice either.

Mark: and be ridiculous. No. that who is the ⁓ head of fifa that groveling sniveling no no no the one who gave him that peace prize he's he's around he's still around exactly he's not in prison i don't think bladder is in prison actually ⁓ did he

Andy: ⁓ no, he's in prison, Seth Blatter. ⁓ I don't know, the new blatter. Whatever. No one knows his name. No one knows his name. I think he did go to prison. I hope so anyway, he fucking deserved to.

Mark: Because it is this summer. The World Cup is literally this summer.

Andy: Yes. Yes. It can't, it can't happen in the U S it can't. And anyone who goes there as a supporter, shame on you. Fucking shame on you. If you really support sport and sportsmanship and football, stay the fuck away from the USA this summer.

Mark: I have a feeling that they have actually sold, I think it's two thirds of the tickets. It's quite amazing. Who would want to go?

Andy: That's actually quite bad because World Cup tickets are impossible to get the day after they're released normally.

Mark: Well, ⁓ yes, you're right, the World Cup. So Eurovision Song Contest. I mean, what about the Israeli artist? I don't know if it's a man or a woman or whoever. Are they actually going to appear?

Andy: It could be both. Israel have done that before. Yes, don't you remember the beardy fella in the dress?

Mark: Have they? He was Austrian. Wurzburger. Sausage man.

Andy: No, no he was Israeli.

Mark: He won!

Andy: Guarantee he was Israeli. Yeah, of course he won. He got the tranny vote. Fuck me, of course. It's like if you put someone out there in a wheelchair, guess who's going to win this year? No offense to the mentors out there, but...

Mark: You ask so many... What proportion of the population are trans? This is 0.01%. How can they swing the Eurovision Song Contest, you idiot?

Andy: It's not a put, it's not... It's not, they are not the ones who vote, are they? It's the fucking country's representatives who place the votes.

Mark: No it's not, there's a public vote.

Andy: Ugh, no, not for every position there isn't.

Mark: I thought, I mean, it's so many years since I've actually watched that show. I thought there was a panel judge, a panel score, and then there was a public score.

Andy: No, you're thinking of fucking Popeye or something. They haven't got time for people to phone in on the Eurovision Song Contest. Don't you remember? This year, ⁓ probably America. I don't know. No, think this year it's... don't know. They didn't win last year, did they? Do you know what? No, I did watch that film ⁓ the other day, the Eurovision Song Contest.

Mark: I don't watch that either. Where is it? No. It's not Sweden is it? What, there's a movie?

Andy: ⁓ yeah, it's actually really fucking worth watching.

Mark: What? What's it co- Clearly.

Andy: It's comedy. It's called the Eurovision Song Contest and it's on Netflix. And you must watch it if you've never seen it, you'll die laughing. It is fucking hilarious. And also there's a lot of Eurovision stars turn up in it, including the bearded lady.

Mark: Alright, I'm just looking it up. Vienna. I thought he was he was actually quite an interesting bloke woman. The bearded man. I mean, you know, he he interviewed very well. I don't know much about the song, but he interviewed very well.

Andy: Vienna. Hmm. idea I'd never watch it which is probably a good thing because I like music. Yes, yes that is a qualification in itself. No one in the music industry would watch the Eurovision Song Contest. That is a fact.

Mark: You claim to be a music industry buff and you don't watch your revision? You ⁓ So yes, we got all that. What else is going on? got wars, missiles flying everywhere. Christine Ohm being interviewed by the committee.

Andy: Udafax Christinome from Short Woman.

Mark: The, uh, homeland, uh, homeland defense. The one who's responsible for ICE.

Andy: I thought that was fucking the Barbie doll. Barbie cowboy Barbie.

Mark: No, ⁓ Bondi is Department of Justice. She's the one in charge of prosecuting people, or not.

Andy: I lose track because they just all look like OnlyFans girls to me. And that's basically how they got their job.

Mark: Well, I mean, I'll tell you what, mean, you know, I think they're absolutely despicable people, a whole lot of them, but what's in...

Andy: One more thing, sorry, one more thing talking of OnlyFans. Hilariously, hilariously, the first prostitute was given the seat at the head of the United Nations Security Council this week. She chaired the meeting in the place of President Trump.

Mark: Yes. What are you talking about? What?

Andy: Melania. She took Trump's place. The first prostitute of the US.

Mark: ⁓ I see.

Andy: took the place of the president. What the fuck is her qualification? It's not a lie. It's not a lie.

Mark: No, no, no, no, no, no, I saw her there, but she wasn't taking the place of the president.

Andy: She sat in his seat. She was the chair of the meeting. The whole thing. She was in charge of the whole thing. I watched the first minute or so of her opening speech and I had to turn it off because I didn't understand a fucking word. You'd think after all those years of servicing customers in the US, she would have picked up a couple of words, but clearly not.

Mark: ⁓ What I was going to say was that these people who are being submitted to these interviews in committee, they are the most arrogant and entitled people I can ever imagine because they just don't go off script.

Andy: They're all spitting on the flag that they pretend to love. They're spitting in the face of the people who put them there.

Mark: Yes, yes. And, you know, they're being shown videos of exactly, and they just ignore it. They all Biden, Biden, this Biden. I mean, you have to be pretty ballsy to sit there and actually just hold your line as it were, in terms of the bollocks that you're talking.

Andy: Actual evidence. Also, since you invaded Iran, price of our petrol has gone up a dollar 50. ⁓ that's Biden. But the Dow is 50k.

Mark: I... Yeah, exactly. I haven't been into town, well you haven't either and you don't buy petrol, but I wonder how much the petrol prices in Sweden have gone up.

Andy: It's gone up for sure. Because even though Trump has already stolen several million barrels of oil as backup, of course, and also watch what happens to your electricity prices, because we all know that after Ukraine, Iran is the second biggest producer of electricity and gas and water in the Western world. So all those prices will be going up as well. Plus

Mark: Yeah. now

Andy: Your shopping at the supermarket will be affected. It's a roll on effect. So thank you, Mr. Trump for protecting democracy. You cunt. Fuck Warren. Fuck.

Mark: Now, now I hate, I hate to be a nitpicker, Andy, but I honestly don't believe that Iran is the biggest supplier of water in the world. The second biggest supplier of water in the world.

Andy: Is that what you're taking away from that whole rep? I know that you recognize my sarcasm sometimes. I'm saying that is their excuse for putting the prices up and it will happen. ⁓ yes, because of the war in Iran. And it was all down to Biden. It was his fault. He negotiated. ⁓

Mark: ⁓ dude. There must be something good going on. on, has to be a positive... Can you not do a quick search for positive news in this mad world? Come on. You're usually good at things. I don't have any recollection. I don't have any recall.

Andy: I'm not good with positives, I like the negatives.

Mark: ⁓ yes, here's a positive one. Beckham and Victoria and David wished their wayward son happy birthday. In spite of the non-communication and book releases saying the family were all mad.

Andy: So multi-millionaires wish billionaire happy birthday. Fuck them all.

Mark: No, no, no, it's billionaires wish multi-millionaire happy birthday

Andy: No, he's married to a billionaire's daughter. But there's a Beckham son. His wife is the daughter of one of America's richest men. Yes. Nicola Pelps. ⁓ my God. The Beckhams invited him onto their yacht.

Mark: Who is? What? No. What? I didn't know that. I didn't... I missed that part of the story.

Andy: And the bloke went, ain't getting on that fucking dinghy. If you want it, you want to see a boat? Look at my boat.

Mark: dingy. You're right, of course he was married. That was what the problem was that Victoria insisted on the first dance with whatever his name is. What? No, no, no, it was reported in the Sun. It was definitely true. The Daily Mail. The National Enquirer.

Andy: No, that's nonsense. That's nonsense. ⁓ well it must be true then. Yeah. And it was in Facebook. It was, was the big hoo-ha was that the DJ at the wedding called on the most beautiful woman in the room to come and dance with Brooklyn. And then he said, no, then he said, come on, Victoria. Yes.

Mark: and Victoria. No.

Andy: But that might be a lie as well. mean, who knows? Who knows?

Mark: Here's a piece of good news, though it may not be depending on your political leaning. There was a woman running in the primaries in Texas. She was a pretty, I mean, a really nasty piece of work. She appeared on Piers Morgan a few times, but she was a particularly rancid individual who was just, you know, complete

Andy: But you don't get much in the house to every penny.

Mark: Muslims are all wanting to kill us and black people have never heard of contraception. I mean the absolute worst of the worst. Anyway, she was running in the primaries. She managed to achieve, well it's sad in its own, she only managed to get, I think it was 10 % of the Republican vote, so she's being kicked out. And what's the first thing she does? It was all rigged. The vote was rigged.

Andy: Well, I mean, that seems to be the go-to for everybody, even for Arjun. ⁓

Mark: it seems to be. I can't remember her name. She had a particularly, an unusually wide mouth. I mean very, very wide mouth.

Andy: So chances are she's had a bit of experience.

Mark: I don't know. She was a horrible human being. Still is, actually.

Andy: You Well, mean, then her and Piers Morgan should get a show together.

Mark: Well, know, you've got to... Piers is not... Isn't it Piers Morgan who's never actually been prosecuted for the hacking? I don't think... News of the World. ⁓

Andy: Yeah, he was the editor of the Sandy Mirror of the News of the World, was, yeah. He was the editor of the News of the World at the time. So, of course he didn't because why would an editor know what his staff were doing? But everybody else, it goes, gets prosecuted all the way to the top. He knew exactly, he ordered them to fucking do it. He's a scumbag of the highest order. And I think he, Nen Yatu,

Mark: and he didn't know anything. Yeah. Yeah. Talking about sc-

Andy: and Trump should all be parachuted into Iran and let them sort it out for themselves.

Mark: Yeah, yeah. ⁓

Andy: And if we've only got two parachutes, let them fight it out.

Mark: ⁓ Interestingly, are people actually leaving the Reform Party. Candidate MPs are actually now leaving the Reform Party.

Andy: I'm not surprised because suddenly they found themselves in the Conservatives. But you know why, of course, it's because of Rupert Lowe.

Mark: Yes! Rupert Lowe. ⁓ he is not the... What?

Andy: his new party, the reconstituted party or whatever it's called. Come on, there's a new party in town. It's like reform, but less conservative, slightly to the right of Hitler.

Mark: No, I don't know this. What? I'm... No! ⁓ what do you mean less conservative? You mean more conservative.

Andy: No, no, they wouldn't have you conservatives on board.

Mark: see. But their politics are pretty right wing.

Andy: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I would imagine that's where you would be from. think it's Rupert Low. Rupert Low. We can give him a quick Google while I try and find.

Mark: So what's his name? Rupert Lowe? ⁓ No, I won't. just can't. I can't be bothered. I'm still trying to focus on happy stories.

Andy: I'll try and find you a happy story.

Mark: Yeah, go on. Quickly do a Google for a happy story. Yes. Yes. I don't know who Harry McGuire is.

Andy: ⁓ here we go. We've got Harry McGuire. London footballer who was arrested six years ago in Greece for a fight. Um, where basically the police kidnapped him and his wife. Yeah. They, uh, was a, it was a bit of a stitch up. Um, I can't remember the exact details, but he got into a fight anyway, and the police, uh, pulled in front of his vehicle or with, um, uh, like about eight.

Mark: What?

Andy: plain clothes, coppers, all jumped out with guns and everything. And he thought he was being kidnapped. They sort of got him half handcuffed and he managed to get up and started legging it. And one of them chased after him and had a bit of a scuffle. Anyway, they tried to do him for like, for years in Greece for assault and... resistant arrests and all the rest of it. But anyway, they've said throughout the whole process, give us 50 grand and we'll just make it go away. And he's refused. That's less than three days wages for him. But he's refused. So good for him. And he went back this year now just for the final hearing and they've reduced all the charges to the bare minimum, but still

Mark: Yeah. Yeah.

Andy: Left him with a conviction. And again, said, know, but, you can give us 50 grand and we'll make it go away. And he's gone, fuck you. I'll take it to the Supreme Court. So he's going to go now to the Supreme Court in Greece to clear his name. So there's a bit of good news. Someone who's not willing to take the knee and just use their wealth to pay their way out of everything.

Mark: Ugh. I don't know why, Greece, I think, is quite a civilised country. Isn't that where it all started? Did did civilisation start in Greece or was it South America?

Andy: It's hard to say, but I I was watching or I was researching some stuff because you want a certain subject and I've been looking into it. And apparently the oldest Megalith type structures are in mortar.

Mark: Yes. Yes. been there.

Andy: I'm telling you, yeah, over 5,000 years before Christ.

Mark: and I missed it when I went there.

Andy: I'm pretty certain it was mortar. I'll have to recheck.

Mark: Actually, I think I'm confusing Greece with Egypt.

Andy: Yeah, Egypt, I think, was different types of civilization. The Egyptians are famous for more of the alien civilizations, and the Greeks are famous for the human civilizations.

Mark: That's right. All right. So is that what we're saying now on Strangestuff Podcast? The latest revelation is that the alien invasion started in Egypt.

Andy: Well, look, it is a fact that we even today, we still cannot build a pyramid. ⁓ It's not bollocks. No, it's not bollocks. It's not bollocks. The sheer size of some of those stones, and bear in mind that in those days, we're talking about copper tools. They didn't use iron or fucking steel tools. They used copper tools mostly. ⁓ The stones were anywhere between

Mark: That's just bollocks. It's just complete and utter bollocks.

Andy: two and 20 tonnes each. They didn't even have a wheel when they were building those pyramids. They had no pulleys. They had no system of lifting except manpower. They couldn't have done it.

Mark: You talk such bollocks! Are you s- What are you saying? Look. Are you suggesting that Egyptian civilization came before the Iron Age? Yes you are, they only had copper tools. Oi oi, wink wink.

Andy: No, I'm saying that the tools you... Look, it's another episode, we'll get into it. You can argue all you want then. And I'll just press the mute button, which is the best way to deal with you. Anyway, let's get on to what we're talking about today.

Mark: ⁓ dear, I don't know if I want to. Can't I take a break? Can't I have a day off?

Andy: Let's face it, every day for you is a day off on here.

Mark: What is it today?

Andy: Now, well, we're going to New Mexico.

Mark: That's in America. Yeah.

Andy: Unfortunately, and we're going to the Dulce bass or the Dulcey bass.

Mark: ⁓ what base as in it's a geographical base or it's a air force base

Andy: It's a secret base.

Mark: Well not so secret, we're talking about it.

Andy: And it's under the Arculeta Mesa in Dulce or Dulce, I don't know which it is, near Mexico. Living in a Dulce Vita. ⁓

Mark: Well it's not going to be Dolce if it's in America. Exactly, that sounds too Italian. I can't see it on the map.

Andy: Okay, we'll call it Dulce. So it's a quaint desert hamlet of Dulce, New Mexico. It's got fewer than 3000 residents and it doesn't even have a traffic light. So it's smaller even than Moora. But the unassuming little community is a hotbed for ufologists and conspiracy theorists who believe that below the town is a secret seven story military facility known as the Dulles Base.

Mark: Well. Hmm

Andy: Now while tiles of the unexplained centered around sparsely inhabited deserts and nothing new, the legends of a New Mexico alien base picked up steam in the 1970s. And it began with a state trooper who spotted a strange craft in the sky and some mutilated cattle on the ground in Dulce, New Mexico.

Mark: I think we've talked about this before and you've forgotten. The mutilated cows.

Andy: Uh, haven't gone into, but yeah, they're quite a relatively common feature. Yeah. Mutilated livestock. Absolutely. I told you that they, had permission from one of our president or one of the presidents in the last couple of episodes ago. They had permission to take humans as long as they returned them and various forms of livestock.

Mark: ⁓ are they? Mutilated cows and UFOs? Alright.

Andy: So also found gas masks nearby, which for him, indicated government involvement. Perhaps most incredible were the claims of Phil Schneider, an alleged former government engineer who claimed to have helped build the Dulse alien base in 1979. He claimed that he and others encountered aliens during the construction, but that military servicemen engaged in a gun battle with them and later broke at a peace deal. with the beings. So what they're saying is that while they were building the construction underground, they came upon these aliens who were already there.

Mark: Look, I don't want to nitpick the story so early on, but are you suggesting that a town of 3,000 people wouldn't notice a seven-story underground construction site?

Andy: Well, this is, when I say the word secret, I mean, the secret is what goes on in there, not necessarily that it's there.

Mark: ⁓ so there's no dispute that it does exist.

Andy: ⁓ it definitely exists. So although no hard evidence has emerged, rumours continue to circulate of strange goings on in Dulse. Dulce is home to the headquarters of the Chicorilla Apache reservation of northern New Mexico and is largely inhabited by indigenous peoples. Now, despite the small population, it draws quite heavy tourism from ufologists who host an annual Dole Space UFO conference there. A bit like your varselop, but more intelligent. It's important to note that the existence of the New Mexico alien base itself remains entirely unproven.

Mark: So that's what I'm saying. It's a town of 3,000 people.

Andy: Get me, listen to the sentence in its entirety. It's important to note that the existence of the New Mexico alien base itself remains entirely unproven as the legends surrounding it are well documented. Stories arose in the mid 1970s with the New Mexico state trooper, Gabriel Valdez, name, reporting a series of disturbing cattle mutilations. According to Michael Barkans, a culture of conspiracy. Valdez claimed to have seen sophisticated spacecraft in the Dulse area near where Dulse base is said to lie. And to have found a mutilated cow with a dead fetus inside. And this wasn't an unborn calf, he claimed. It appeared to be a bizarre hybrid that looked like a human, a monkey, and a frog.

Mark: This poor chap, needs help!

Andy: Now detritus.

Mark: So that's what they use the cows for, as surrogate mothers, if that's the right term in alien speak.

Andy: Yeah, maybe they used them as breeding pods.

Mark: I'm just trying to picture. What did you say? A cross between a monkey, a frog?

Andy: human, a monkey, and a frog.

Mark: No, I'm sorry Andy, but that's just bollocks basically. You can't combine the two, the three. What would they look like?

Andy: Well, you can, you can of course, because don't forget, frog DNA will change.

Mark: and

Andy: So if there's anything missing between the man and the monkey, the frog will fill the gap. It will adapt.

Mark: So do you think it was sort of like a humanoid figure with sort of froggy eyes? And a man with a great big mouth?

Andy: I hope so. Yeah, I hope so. And it can jump tall buildings.

Mark: with lots of hair on his body.

Andy: Yeah. Probably just under the armpits because it's...

Mark: No, no, I'm sorry that that's that's too fantastical.

Andy: Well, De Tritus, surrounding the cattle mutilation, suggested to Valdez that the government was involved, i.e. the gas masks, and that the cattle were not ravaged by wild animals, he said. The evidence was left there, know, predators don't leave gas masks, glow sticks, radar chaff.

Mark: Radar Shaft? Shaft? What was Radar Shaft? No?

Andy: Shaft, yes. Yeah, radar shaft. You know what, Mays? Nobody does. But Valdez does.

Mark: So were the aliens supposed to be wearing the gas masks or was it the military in a human?

Andy: It could have been the monkey boy. It could have been, who knows? But anyway, Valdez says they don't need that stuff.

Mark: The frog. Monkey frog.

Andy: Now, Barkan is quick to note that cow mutilations are often tied to nearby UFO sightings. The political scientists also added that the Colorado-New Mexico border region had become one of the most prominent sites in the country for both kinds of reports by the early 1980s.

Mark: Why is he referred to as a political scientist?

Andy: Why, ⁓ why is-

Mark: Is that to give him some substance as opposed to conspiracy theorist?

Andy: Well, unfortunately, conspiracy theorists carry more weight today than political scientists.

Mark: Well, that you might be right.

Andy: Now, claims went far and wide and were followed in 1979 by stories from Paul Benevitz, a physicist and an Albuquerque businessman. Benevitz allegedly intercepted electronic signals in Dulce that he believed were emanating from deep below the ground and directed at a target too high for human activity.

Mark: What's electrical signals?

Andy: Beep. How do I know? An electrical it could be a pulse it could be a wave it could be anything it's electrical and it's a signal. But with a growing national interest in both cattle mutilations and claims of electronic signals, the dull space legend was born. And Benevitz in 1982 first posited that the secret base existed here. He even published a paper titled Project Beta in 1988, detailing how

Mark: Look, I don't want to spoil the story, Andy, but if it's seven stories underground, is there no door?

Andy: In his project beta paper, he detailed how best to infiltrate the facility. Now by May of 1980, John Lear claimed to have garnered four independent confirmations that the seven-storey structure was in fact real. Lear was a pilot and government man, as well as the son of the inventor of the Lear jet. So someone, or many people, gave him some credence and his claims some credence.

Mark: He invented the Learjet, did he? His father invented the Learjet. He didn't design it. He invented it.

Andy: is father. Yes. You know what? There's a job for you in Trump's cabinet. I believe he's the best president we've ever heard.

Mark: Ha ha ha.

Andy: His detailed claims went so far as to describe different species of aliens who allegedly visited Earth. And Lear's allegations served as the foundation for further claims about the New Mexico alien base. Phil Schneider brought benefits and Lear's claims out of the fringes with his public speeches and bizarre stories about the alleged base. Claiming to be former government employee and explosives expert, Schneider said that he was involved in the construction of Dole Space. Perhaps most famous is his 1995 presentation in which he alleged that during the project's initial stages, the military encountered alien entities beneath the ground. Attendees of the Dole Space UFO conference have disagreed, however, whether Dole Space was built deliberately as a research facility or after a nuclear detonation beneath the New Mexico desert in 1967, when the US government was merely attempting to stimulate subterranean gas reservoirs and encountered the quake cave dwelling aliens. Schneider, however, not only claimed to have seen the beings below, but to have lost several fingers during a firefight between terrified soldiers and frightened alien life forms. Now both origin stories of the Dole space legend have the US government encountering various kinds of alien entities and brokering a deal for peace. While Schneider claimed that roughly 60 people were killed in the purported firefight below the desert, none of his statements have ever been proven. Nonetheless, he is certainly missing numerous digits while claiming as much. And he himself died by suicide in 1996.

Mark: The year after.

Andy: Suicide.

Mark: Hmm.

Andy: There's no shortage of dubious illustrations of Dulse's bases layout. So-called experts are confident that it reaches seven stories and two miles into the ground. With an increasing military presence, the deeper one descends into his bowels. Each floor is said to be designed for specific research, from mind control on human beings to genetic experiments resulting in alien-human hybrids. Some diagrams even claim that grey and reptilian aliens have their own housing, while employees allegedly claim that the sixth floor, the so-called nightmare, nightmare hall, was the most terrifying of all. It is here allegedly where the screams of human victims being experimented upon echo through the corridors. Schneider claimed that conflict between various factions of aliens and the military eventually broke out and that Dulles Base is merely one of 129 hidden facilities of its kind in the US alone. Schneider and his supporters have alleged that the US so-called Black Budget likely folds in the secret research ⁓ Yeah, likely folds in the secret research at these alleged facilities. The black budget is classified military spending and has been estimated to range between 50 and 80 billion dollars, according to various numerous reports.

Mark: How is it all these different types of aliens ended up in this arse end of nowhere town in New Mexico?

Andy: Well, it's underneath the arse end of nowhere and it's a good place to put a bass, isn't it? Where there's nobody much about.

Mark: Exactly. Yeah, but if there's this number of aliens that are actually having a bloody fisticuffs down there, when do they all arrive? How do they get there? Limousine. Uber.

Andy: Well, probably, they probably arrive before opening time. Before opening time. And then as soon as they open the bars, of course, all the lightsabers come out.

Mark: So it's literally a scene of Star Wars, is it? In the canteen. You've got all of these one-eyed monopeds and god knows what else going on down there. Lizard-like people.

Andy: That the Star Wars documentary was based on DOS.

Mark: The Star Wars documentary. So this fellow Schneider, poor chap, who popped his clogs in 96, he certainly had quite an interesting life if he actually had fisticuffs with aliens, for God's sake.

Andy: Hmm. I mean, when I read about him losing his fingers in the firefight, it brought me back to the Baker Street siege. Do remember back in 1979, 1980? No, the Baker Street siege when...

Mark: Stockholm Syndrome.

Andy: And it might have been the Iranian embassy when they sent the SAS in eventually.

Mark: Was it? ⁓ yes, when they came down the outside of the building.

Andy: Yes. And as they went through the windows and started shooting people, one of the SAS guys actually shot his own fingers off because he was holding his gun wrong. And that's, that's what was stuck with me.

Mark: You would have thought an SAS soldier would know the dangerous end of a rifle.

Andy: Well, unfortunately, you can only work with what you're given.

Mark: Did you know that, do you remember Dave Allen, the comedian? He had a finger missing. Yeah. Yeah.

Andy: Yes He could only count to four and a half. Now, ultimately, UFO sightings in the US have yet to cease or even slow down. It was only recently that the Pentagon admitted that Air Force footage of UFOs was real and that the Navy drafted new guidelines on how to report this phenomenon. For Dolce residents, there's nothing new under the sun. The whole town of Dolce, wherever you go,

Mark: Exactly.

Andy: wants to talk to you and they'll tell you what they've seen," said Geraldine Julianne, who claims to have seen UFOs since the 1960s. It's not just a fairy tale. All the things are true. And I believe every last one of them too, because I've seen it myself, she said.

Mark: It is interesting because what is always limited to one's own history of what you've witnessed, what you see in daily life. Here's a ridiculous example. You know, you know, in more in the summer, we have snow scooter racing on the lake on water. And I remember when that was covered in Top Gear.

Andy: Yes. Yes.

Mark: It was like something completely insane. You're not going to believe this. It's completely incredible. They race snow scooters on water. And we saw it every summer. There's no scooter racing on the water. It's completely normal. So if you see alien spaceships on a daily basis or, you know, they come into the general store to buy some ciggies or something.

Andy: It's just another form of public transport here. Man.

Mark: And maybe that is other people's experience in life. They don't understand the hoo-haw about aliens because they literally see them every day.

Andy: Yeah. Yeah, it's just normal.

Mark: I wonder what brand of cigarettes they generally prefer. Camel? Marlboro?

Andy: I would imagine Marlboro Reds. Yeah. Although they've only got tiny lungs. It depends on their lung capacity, doesn't it? I mean, they've usually got these skinny little bodies.

Mark: Do you think? not number six, embassy number six. Do you think they have those? Well, we know what they're- No, no, no, no, but frogs have good lung capacity, don't they?

Andy: Yeah, true. But is that no, that's really that's more the pouch under their chin though, isn't it?

Mark: Well that's as good as lungs isn't it?

Andy: I know.

Mark: So these people encounter aliens every day. This... what was her name? You actually gave her name. We could ask her. We could get... that would be a worthwhile guest to have on the show. Absolutely. Get her on board.

Andy: Her name was... Geraldine Gillian. Geraldine... Julian.

Mark: There we go. Of a town of 3,000 people, can't be difficult to track her down. You've got white pages in America. Just ask her to come on the show.

Andy: I would imagine just wait outside the bar until it opens. You'll get to meet her fairly quickly. And if you're really unlucky, you'll get to take her home.

Mark: Yes, you're right. So, you still haven't answered my question, is there a door?

Andy: Now look, I do have in my possession a document, but it is really difficult to read. I was going to attempt it. It's four pages.

Mark: What is that? I've got a document. I've got a document.

Andy: Yeah, it is four pages long, but the text is so tiny.

Mark: We don't want you to read through the whole thing. What is it about? Your research must be able for you to encompass the key elements of it in a matter of moments.

Andy: Thanks. Well, it covers everything from the building of the base, ⁓ down to the firefights and all the rest of it. And it's got a little bit more in there. I don't want to really just sum it up, but ⁓ I found this document called the secrets of Dolce base in a site.

Mark: No.

Andy: Not unlike Reddit, but it's a site that you subscribe to and you can download all sorts of documents like ebooks and all the rest of it. And this document was hidden away amongst all these other documents written by someone called Cherry Hinkle with the help of a few chosen who requested that they remained anonymous.

Mark: Ooh, called. So, for people, several people, don't have a clue who they are. You found it on a conspiracy theory website, but it's completely true and accurate.

Andy: No, it was written by people who want to remain anonymous and Cherry Hinkle, who didn't want to remain anonymous.

Mark: Do you think that's a name, Andy?

Andy: I've given you much worse names than that.

Mark: I baptised this child Cherry Winkle. Hinkle. Hinkle. Cherry Hinkle.

Andy: Hinkle, Hinkle, Hinkle with an H or a H, H, H. Anyway, I'm not going to read it out because I can't see it.

Mark: H H thank you no But does it give you any more information than that you've already released?

Andy: Well, obviously quite a lot. I'll give you an example. When he was US energy secretary, John Harrington named the Lawrence Barkley Laboratory and New Mexico Los Alamos National Laboratory to house new advanced genetic research centers as part of its project to decipher the human genome.

Mark: Hang on a second. Just going back to this screaming people in floor six. That was poor old Schneider, Chappie. And he was reporting what he had seen.

Andy: Yes. What?

Mark: Well you'd ⁓ So you go into an underground building that's full of aliens and on floor six they're experimenting on the humans and he can never forget the screams of the humans as they're probing them.

Andy: but it must have been a fairly rough probe.

Mark: I'm sorry, this poor fellow Schneider obviously was unwell.

Andy: I mean, you know, we have experimented on them as well. Don't forget. Don't forget the Roswell incident.

Mark: ⁓ so this was tip for tat. This was sort of quid quo pro. Quo pro.

Andy: where the crash spacecraft and the alien bodies, and there's that very famous video of the alien autopsy from the sixties or seventies.

Mark: So now they're just getting their own back.

Andy: Well, we gave them permission. Don't forget our fucking glorious leaders in the US gave permission for them to use us as long as they give us back eventually.

Mark: Do you think they're still there then, these people? These alien people? Do think they're still there, the froggy ones? I'd like to meet one.

Andy: Well, let's just go to Dolce then, New Mexico. Let's do an episode from the Dolce Secret bass.

Mark: Could we do a live broadcast from Dolce USA?

Andy: We could. I don't see why not. If you're brave enough to go to the USA right now.

Mark: Actually, I wouldn't get in, nor would you for God's sake. They definitely wouldn't let me in either.

Andy: They definitely wouldn't let me in. We got a big orange fat fuck wants a word with you, buddy.

Mark: Isn't that incredible? Who would have thought, I mean seriously, I don't think we'd get in. Who would have thought that in our lifetime we wouldn't be able to visit America?

Andy: I know. I you're right. I don't think we would get in. I definitely would be flagged without a shadow of a doubt.

Mark: What do you mean? I'm just as anti-Trump, anti-the Republican party,

Andy: Yeah, but you don't keep screaming for his assassination.

Mark: Well, no, I don't. I wouldn't do that. But, ⁓ isn't that quite incredible that in our lifetime we cannot visit America for fear of imprisonment?

Andy: ⁓ It's crazy that I would feel more comfortable visiting Iran than the US.

Mark: or deportation. I wouldn't go as far as to say that.

Andy: I think they would dance with me in the streets in Iran.

Mark: Maybe. In fact, wasn't there... We were talking about this poor English couple who went to Arun and were imprisoned? Yeah.

Andy: On their motorbike, yeah. They were probably in a very dire way at the moment. Unlike the influencers in Dubai who've all been told that they are welcome to stay at the government's expense until this whole thing blows over.

Mark: Absolutely. Yes, I don't know if we covered it when you mentioned how stupid these people were. I understand that those two motorcyclists, they had all the approvals and they had a guide. They weren't just trotting across the country willy-nilly. I mean, they had done everything right.

Andy: No, I don't know. I didn't say that because I didn't read that.

Mark: Yeah, yeah, Anyway.

Andy: I just thought it would be ridiculous not to skirt around Iran considering the state of the union as it were.

Mark: Well, you'd have to go through Russia, Kazakhstan, Tunis, to America star and Afghanistan to get to Pakistan, which is, think, when they were where they were going.

Andy: Well, I would like to go via Kazakhstan simply because of Borat.

Mark: Is that where Borat claimed to come from?

Andy: Yes, and his sister was second best prostitute in whole Kazakhstan.

Mark: Shit, do you know, I just, isn't that amazing? I've never seen Boar at it. I don't think I'd laugh. But I didn't realize he actually used a real country. I thought it was a made up one.

Andy: ⁓ you would. You can't help it. They sued him. The country of Kazakhstan sued Baron Sacha Khan Baron, whatever his name is.

Mark: Yeah. What? For bringing the country to disrepute.

Andy: Yes, because yes, yes. Yo, I swear you should watch Borat. Give it 20 minutes and I promise you, you won't turn it off. You seriously won't turn it off. And also, don't forget the Eurovision Song Contest film. You have to watch that on Netflix.

Mark: I All right, yeah, that's two recommendations I'm bound to forget.

Andy: It's Will Ferrell in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Mark: Okay, you know he's married to a Swede. He speaks Swedish, yeah.

Andy: Yes, he speaks Swedish. And he plays an Icelandic in this film and it is fucking yellow. I'd say you have to watch it. It's one of his best films.

Mark: Why does he... I think Will Ferrell is actually, you know, he does some... ⁓ Well, he doesn't, that's the question. Why does he always do these stupid movies like Elf? I mean, they're very successful. He's the only actor who can get away with it.

Andy: Because he can. Because he knows his lane. it's like, I hate it when I see actors like Ben Stiller, who is a fairly good comedic actor, but then he tries to do a fucking dramatic role. And you can't ever see him as a serious actor. You're just waiting for him to pull a funny face or do a fart or something, because he's a comedy actor. Stay in your lane, mate.

Mark: Isn't that-

Andy: It's like Robin Williams, I could never take him seriously outside of a comedy role.

Mark: ⁓ isn't Ben Stiller very, very wealthy? He's one of the most wealthy American actors because he obviously has a production company that does things. ⁓ yes, Adam Sandler, you're right. And why is Adam Sandler so wealthy?

Andy: I think that's Adam Sandler. Well, you just said it, he produces his own movies, Happy Medicine, his company is called.

Mark: That's right, yes, Happy Madison. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, what's this got to do with bloody aliens in the New Mexico desert?

Andy: What, what has what got to do with it? You started it? don't know. Anyway, that brings us to the end. ⁓

Mark: Ben Stiller Well that's it. Well what are you talking about? Don't you know the basis of storytelling? There's a beginning, there's a middle and there's an end. Your storytelling technique is just a list of events. I'm surprised we got any listeners at all.

Andy: I mean. Okay.

Mark: What's the culmination? What's the climax of this story? And I'm happy to release today pictures of froggy monkey man.

Andy: Now the climax of this story actually, the climax of this story actually is the truth will soon come out because Trump has ordered the release of all the UFO files, which will include Dolce base. However, like the Epstein files, we've yet to see the fucking things.

Mark: That's right. See you Yes, you're right. In fact, did we talk about online your amazing sense of premonition, if that's the right word? We have covered that. That the very week or two days after our recording. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, that really was. So that's two things you've got absolutely spot on. That is Apollo NASA mission to the moon.

Andy: Yes, yes, because I've been 100 % correct in my predictions. Just as a heads up, by the way, we're in March now, and I believe it's March the 14th was the date the Simpsons predicted for Donald Trump's demise. ⁓

Mark: Yes. What?

Andy: Yes, March, March the 14th, 2026, Simpson's had Donald Trump in a coffin. Yep.

Mark: No. But,

Andy: It might have been the episode where Lisa became president. I can't remember. But I saw her.

Mark: Sorry, Andy, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to check this, because that would be, I would actually be excited. Not that I want him dead, but just removed from power.

Andy: Why don't I start ordering cake?

Mark: can't see. So Simpson's, Simpson's, no, Simpson's, Simpson's. It's painful to listen to, isn't it? Simpson's Trump prediction, Trump death prediction. This will definitely get me banned from America.

Andy: You Yes.

Mark: You have to you have to be a bit concerned because AI fact check. No, sorry. No, no they didn't. ⁓ dear. No, I'm sorry Andy. No, that's not right. ⁓ dear, you were doing so well. Fact check. Did the Sixth Simpsons predict Trump's assassination?

Andy: Do do do do do.

Mark: Never mind. It was good while it lasted. Are you checking as well? You have to check one of your conspiracy websites. Are you going?

Andy: Yeah. Well, there's some smart fuckers who are putting up some pretty convincing Simpsons looking episodes.

Mark: Yeah, well, in fact, not wanting to go back to the war necessarily, but what is, what can you believe? Because half of what half of the videos you see are just, well, they're either 10 years old, or they're just fake. They're literally AI generated.

Andy: from 10 years ago. Yeah, this is problem we've got today because it's so easy to generate this stuff.

Mark: No, it's very challenging. You know how challenging it is, Andy. You know, because it is. It's very complicated.

Andy: Really not. Yes, of course, it's very challenging. It's very challenging. But it's ⁓ got to a point where you just, doesn't matter who, if they can sit in front of evidence being played behind them and deny that it exists, what's the point of it anyway?

Mark: Don't know. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Actually, you're right. I wonder if that's the tactic.

Andy: I wouldn't be surprised at all if a lot of photos ⁓ of Trump and Epstein in a room with kids are faked by Trump and just put out there so they can be debunked and prove that it's all fucking fake.

Mark: ⁓ you're right. Yeah. Mm. Yep.

Andy: muddy the waters, why not?

Mark: Yeah, you're right. Well, I think we should do, I think this idea of yours doing a live episode from Dulce in New Mexico is a very good idea. We can see for ourselves. I want to see the door. I just want to see the front entrance to this place.

Andy: Okay, well, you'll have to pay. I can't afford it.

Mark: Can we sneak in? Mexico would let us in and then we could sneak in. could try and... That would be a good challenge. A Strange Stuff podcast challenge trying to get over the wall. Is it?

Andy: ⁓ I'm pretty certain we don't have to get over the wall. The wall does not extend across the whole width of the US.

Mark: Though we'd have to practise American accents, because if we're English, they would probably put us away. Excuse me, I have a British passport. Right off to the clink for you, mate.

Andy: ⁓ yeah, because we're the enemy now. We're the enemy now. We're like, we could say we're from Spain. ⁓

Mark: Yes. I have a feeling Spain has reversed their decision, haven't they?

Andy: No, that is bullshit. That is only the White House said that. Spain has turned around and said, kiss my Spanish ass. We have said no such thing. It is a lie. Spain has not changed their fucking mind and they won't because they're Spanish.

Mark: Yeah. What's Spanish got to do with anything?

Andy: Well they're not shitters.

Mark: They're not shooters.

Andy: Not like the English prime minister. They've said no and that's it. They're not going to say, ⁓ I meant yes. Sorry.

Mark: What? What are you talking about? I don't think Starm has allowed the bases to be used, has he? I don't think so.

Andy: He has, hasn't he? That was, that was, you he's done a U-turn. That's why there were rockets aimed at Cyprus.

Mark: I can't remember. Yeah, well, that's the thing. It's impossible to keep up. Absolutely impossible. Do think the aliens are looking on thinking this is good? They might just destroy themselves and then we can have the whole planet as our playground.

Andy: You must keep up. Well, I think this is why they've never made themselves known to us is because they're embarrassed. They thought, ⁓ look, here's a fairly civilized looking planet. Let's go and say hello. And then they got a bit closer and went, what the fuck is going on down there?

Mark: What?

Andy: I mean, if you were a superior intellect from another world with advanced technology, would you give us a ray gun?

Mark: What? I don't think we really want to question the intellect of the aliens because to be honest, if you were at

Andy: Well, because they keep sticking their fingers up your bum.

Mark: Not that, but if you were a sophisticated alien race, why the hell would you choose Dulce in New Mexico to build an underground base?

Andy: Well, bear in mind, we're not necessarily saying that these are extraterrestrials. These could be under-earth terrestrials. These could be our ancestors, the ones who actually built the pyramids and decided they've had enough of the surface dwellers and they're just going to build cities underground now.

Mark: 129 underground cities isn't that what Schneider was promoting?

Andy: At least alone in the USA, yes.

Mark: Do you think?

Andy: Why not?

Mark: Do you think there are 129 underground cities in America with alien beings walking around?

Andy: We've got a fair few in England.

Mark: What cave dwellers?

Andy: Well, underground buildings and structures that can house several hundred, if not thousands of people.

Mark: Well, you know, I've told you this story. I literally used to live above one of them.

Andy: Yeah, so why not the aliens?

Mark: Because aliens don't exist, Andy, maybe? You're looking puzzled.

Andy: Nonsense.

Mark: What?

Andy: Yeah, you just went a bit... we have to say goodbye. Okay. Well, that's the end of this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed all of the facts that I gave you. we'll be back on Wednesday with a...

Mark: I know, I can't hear you either. ⁓ do we? Alright, yes. ⁓ it's an hour, you're right. Off we go then. Yeah.

Andy: a Patreon episode and we'll be back next Sunday with a normal episode. If you're not a Patreon yet, why not? There's some good stuff over there. And if you want to be a Patreon member, you can find us at patreon.com backslash strange stuff podcast. You can find us on our website at strange stuff podcast.com. You can send us a Gmail at strange stuff podcast at gmail.com. You can find us on TikTok, you can find us on Insta, you can find us everywhere. Everywhere you look, even under the ground in Dulce, New Mexico. So have yourselves a great week. Don't do anything we wouldn't do. And if you do go to Dulce in New Mexico, tell them we're on our way and we'll see them soon. Bye for now.

Mark: Bye for now.