Andy: Hello everyone, I'm Andy, Mark: I'm Mark. Andy: and this is Speaking Shite. Mark: Alright, well it's lucky I've prepared something. Andy: that makes a nice change. Okay, now, last couple of weeks been speaking shite and then he never said. Mark: I was reading about these data centres. and I think it was Louisiana or maybe it's the one in Texas. They're building a data center, I don't know what it will mean for international listeners, but the size of Heathrow Airport. Andy: Well, the bigger the better as far as they're concerned. You know they're Mark: But... Andy: building one here. Mark: I think there are already data centers in Sweden. Andy: No, mean, where North Falk was. Mark: What? Andy: because Northvolt owns so much land up there. Lighten are not using all of it. So they're trying to switch usage to a data center for some of it. And there's a big petition going on at the moment about stopping them. Mark: You see, this is where I thought that Northvolt were given a sweetheart deal by Shalefteo Commune, the council, that Andy: Bye bye. Mark: they basically gave them the land to build the factory. Andy: Yes, and the thing is data centers fulfill and tick all the same boxes that Northfalk ticked. Apart from employment. Mark: apart from it doesn't give any jobs. Andy: I mean, it gives employment initially, as we know, with the building, but once the building's done, that's it. Mark: Yes, and all of the people doing the building are basically temporary workers. They're no permanent jobs. They're on a contract for two years. bring them in from... Andy: and they're probably flown in. Mark: I was going to say, they bring them in from somewhere, so that doesn't help the local brigade. Andy: No. And I don't know if you're aware of the noise pollution of a data center. But basically, if you're standing outside a data center, it's like standing on a runway at a fucking international airport. Because, yeah, Mark: That's because in Europe you have these cooling fans. Andy: and the sound is incredibly loud. And it's 24-7. There is no respite. Mark: Hmm It's not the technology itself that is concerning, it's the dependency on that technology. Andy: Well yeah, quite so. Once it's running everything, if somebody switches the OFF switch, everything stops. Mark: Well, a perfect example in a parallel world is this Starlink thing. There's this argument going on in the press at the moment, whether it was Elon Musk who turned off Zelensky or Andy: no, it was Trump. Mark: whether it was Trump. But and again, how do you know if it's true? But Elon Musk is quoted as saying that Ukraine breached the user. terms and conditions of Starlink because they were using it for military activity. That's literally... Andy: that's exactly what it was designed for. Mark: Exactly! So how can he complain that it's been used for military activity? Andy: Musk needs shooting as well. I Trump and Musk and all of them. I I've had enough. I've had enough of all of them. Mark: Well, well we'll see. Sorry, you just came back to these data centers. So these data centers are basically being built to support the AI technology. Andy: Yeah, basically to run AIs. Mark: Because prior to AI, we didn't need these mega data centers. Andy: We did, we needed server sensors, which were running the internet, but the internet Mark: Yeah, server centers. Yes. Andy: is 1 % of the energy and computing power required for AIs. Mark: I can sort of understand why because I don't subscribe to any of these AI things but even doing a simple Google search you have what they call AI. I don't know what Google's AI thing is. Andy: Yeah, because the first thing you, every time you do a search, the first thing that comes up is the AI result. Mark: Yes, exactly. And Andy: And it's usually wrong. Mark: when you say that, you can ask the most bizarre questions, and I'm talking technical car questions. Andy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mark: What is the relay in position three on a 1984 classic car or something? And two seconds later, it gives you Not only the information, it actually gives you the source of information as well And it answers the question and if you're having problems with this relay, this is the replacement part These are the symptoms that can cause or illustrate the problem. It really is Incredibly useful so I sort of get it Andy: Yeah, yeah, but the problem, the problem lies with AI. Well, it's not actually AI and I hate to say this, but Trump was kind of half right when he allegedly invented the term super intelligence, because super intelligence is actually a thing. It's just that we're not there yet. AI is artificially artificial general intelligence, is the aim of AI is to become equally as smart as a human being. The next generation of AI will be having the AI design the next generation of AI and that Mark: Yeah. Andy: AI will then design the next one and it will become smarter than human beings and that is when it becomes SI. And that is Mark: Well, it's certainly more... Andy: the very dangerous thing because We don't know how it's built and we don't know how it operates and we certainly don't know how to turn it off. Mark: No, no, you're right. And in fact, that's exactly what... talking not so long ago about exactly this that at the moment the instructions are being given by humans to AI to do something Andy: Yeah. Mark: and the results can be sort of in the form of a black box so you don't know quite how AI came to that conclusion but that is the conclusion and you're absolutely right when AI start giving the instructions then you really have lost the sort of the human element in the chain and it becomes completely detached Andy: Autonomous. Mark: exactly autonomous so I can sort of understand the dangers involved but what I don't understand bearing in mind that most of these AI companies are losing money They're losing money hand over fist. They are. Andy: They're not losing money, they're just using their invested money without making a profit. Mark: No, no, no, they're borrowing vast, well, borrowing. They're doing these IPO's, initial public offerings of shares, and they're borrowing vast amounts of money to develop these data centers. But at the moment, they're not making money on their AI stuff. I think China might be, but certainly the US based AI companies are not making money. evidence by the fact that my Google search for whatever I'm doing doesn't cost me anything but it cost them something and in fact Alex was explaining there is in fact you can calculate quite easily how much me asking a question of thirty words how much it actually costs Google to give me a response and they're not even close to making money so the gamble is that AI is going to become so all-encompassing that they are going to be in a position to make money. Andy: yeah, because what will happen is that once AI is in charge of everything, it will then become subscription. Mark: Yeah, exactly, exactly. That's exactly the point I was coming to. And what happens when they have control of the situation, just like Elon Musk and Starlink, right now you've got to start paying for it. And you can just imagine that all the friends and family of Elon Musk and Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos and all of that, they're not going to pay for it. It's going to be Andy: because they're the ones who can afford it, so why should they? Mark: it's you and me who are going to end up paying for it and we're going to become more and more dependent on it. It's going to be like a utility like electricity or water. Andy: We're already, I was listening to some talk radio earlier today and I've come to the conclusion that we're not just moving back to the Victorian times, we are already there and we're going further back. Mark: I think you're right. No, I think you're right. Andy: They were talking about ticket prices. Someone phoned in and they were saying they'd booked six tickets to go and see Swan Lake at the Royal Opera House next year and it was a thousand pounds for six tickets. Mark: for six people. doesn't actually... that's 150 quid. Andy: Yeah, but listen, it gets better. Someone else phoned in and said I had two tickets to go and see Oasis. And they were £799 Mark: And that's more. Andy: each. Mark: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andy: I mean, you're talking about... Mark: A decent car. Andy: You can honestly not anymore, of course, because cars are going the same way as everything else. But you're talking about the ordinary person in the street is now back to cleaning chimneys because we can't afford to go and see Oasis. Only the middle and upper classes at the moment can go and can afford to go and see any of these shows or bands. And it's it's only getting worse. Mark: Mmm. Andy: We're being priced out of everything, not just food, but entertainment. We're going to have the two tier system that is evident in some of the worst places to live in the world, like Cuba, where you've got the ones who can afford four walls and a roof and the rest live on a dirt patch in cardboard boxes. Mark: Well, hang on a second, why do you choose Cuba? Cuba's almost communist. You have the... Andy: I'm just saying Cuba was one of the only places I've ever been to where the contrast between those who have and those who have not was so stark it actually left an impression on me. Mark: No, I completely agree. I think you're absolutely right. And in fact, the, and I've been batting on about this for God knows how many years, the inequality of wealth distribution, people don't even talk about it anymore. I mean, you literally have. Andy: No, because you know why? Because the app has got so fucking big Mark: Yes. Andy: that there's nothing to say. Mark: there's almost nothing to talk about anymore. No, no, no, you're absolutely right. But when you talk about going back to the Victorian days, I think there's a lot of truth in that because the people who support someone like Donald Trump, because US happens to be a perfect example of inequality of wealth distribution, they actually think that he's doing them good Andy: Yeah. Mark: they are so I mean it's unkind to say but a lot of them are so ignorant they can't even see that they are the ones that are footing the bill for Karakushna or whatever the hell his name to live in opulence and to be able to buy islands in Albania and stuff Andy: Yeah, but he's chumming the waters, isn't he? He's promising the Doge check and the income, the tax checks, the excise checks and the $5,000 for voting for us checks. Mark: I was going to say there was an excellent, can't remember what it was, of these sort of short videos of this fellow interviewing Trump supporters at a Trump rally and saying, know, what do you think about handouts for the poor, Medicaid, helping people pay? I think it's absolutely outrageous. People expecting free this and free that. And then 30 seconds later, saying, so what do you think about this 5,000 cheque that Trump is going to give you, I think that's fantastic. You know, they cannot see, Andy: Yeah, it's not freehand. Mark: they cannot see the parallel, the ridiculous contradiction in the very words that they're speaking. just, and that's perfect. That's exactly what Trump wants. And what rich super, I mean, you know, I have to accept that I was not guilty but i was on in this argument i was on the wrong side of the argument for many years but then having moved to sweden hopefully i've made some restitution to the situation but Andy: Have you released the sleigh? Mark: Hahaha Andy: granted freedom to Bula. Mark: It's a barrack of slaves downstairs waiting to do my bidding. No, but it is actually quite incredible and Anyway, it's just bizarre. But we have these midterms coming up in in a let me Bob, a week's time and going back to these data centers linking the two stories. mean, basically Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Bezos, who else is there who have these big AI companies? Andy: there's so many of them. Mark: Well, they are simply in a position. to decide effectively who wins the vote next week. I mean they can feed you whatever you like when you go on to click onto Facebook they're the ones deciding what you see. Andy: Yeah, there is, as Oprah would say, they're telling you they're true. Mark: Exactly, exactly. So it's only you have to be so not discerning because that you have to be so cautious of literally everything you see and read in anything to do with media. You just don't know where the hell you are. Andy: mean you have to be careful with us, you don't know that I'm... Mark: I know you're right. No, going back to I'm getting very good at, I think I'm getting very good at judging what is AI and what's not. Andy: Really? Mark: Yes, I'll tell you what it is. It's quite simple in many respects. The AI videos, the contrast, the light contrast is always turned up to maximum. so the features on someone's face are really exaggerated, really clear. I think that's a bit of a giveaway. Andy: Also, they're generally perfect looking. Mark: Well as we are when you do the advertisements for Strange Stuff podcast we're always pretty perfect looking. Maybe you need... Andy: Well, even without the adverts, I'm pretty perfect. Mark: So yeah, so these data centres, the size of Heathrow Airport, just the draw on the electricity, where does the power come from? Where does the power come from? Andy: yeah, but nobody talks about that. well, not only are they supposed to be self generating, as in they have to build their own Mark: Power Station. Andy: power station, et cetera. But there are records of them accessing local neighborhood grids when they need to. So they will suck your power. And they have to be fed. You can't shut one of these data centers down. It's like a nuclear reactor. can't just say, we'll turn it off for the night. Mark: so excuse my stupidity but you've got a data center in the middle of the bloody desert in texas Andy: Yeah. Mark: so they draw electric cables and things Andy: You Mark: where does it actually connect to the internet is it all by satellite these days or are there hard cables are there fiber optic cable Andy: Yeah, Starlink baby. Mark: all right so it is all Andy: You can connect anywhere in the world with Starlink. Mark: so Starlink is able to deal with that sort of quantity of information the broadbat the breadbat what's it called bandwidth is sufficiently Andy: the broadband, the bandwidth. Mark: wide that they can cope with all of that data flowing backwards and forwards Andy: They won't need to cope with all of it all over the world because not all data centers are in deserts. Some are in pretty built up urban areas. Mark: I passed one not so long ago. I think there's one in Vesteros just outside Stockholm. Andy: Yeah. Mark: I told you it was just an enormous building Andy: with no windows. Mark: with no windows, no access, no loading ramps or anything and it was just covered in cooling duct, cooling fans. Andy: Yeah. Mark: That was it. Brands spanking new, security fence all around. It didn't even look as if had an office. It was literally just a building. Andy: no one to talk to, I guarantee they don't have a kettle. Mark: Dear, I mean it's quite incredible what we are witnessing in our lifetime Andy. We didn't, I mean it wasn't that long ago we didn't have smartphones. We didn't, when we were born there weren't such things as computers. I mean not that people use them. Andy: There were, computing has been around since the 40s. Mark: Yes, that's literally... OK, Arga in Sweden had literally computers that filled a room, but you had things going like this and spinning round and such like... Andy: Yeah, mean, okay, the microchip changed everything. Mark: Yeah, so sorry, when, that's a good question, when did the microchip come around? 80? Andy: no, I mean I had my first home computer was a BBC B computer and I was 18 when that came out, so that would have been in the 70s, just Mark: 13. All right, yep. 70s. Okay. Andy: about. Mark: and now we've got bloody data centers. What's a giga? It can't be gigabytes that these things deal with. There's some measure of how this one the size of Heathrow Airport was five gigabytes. Andy: No, they talk about megawatts. Mark: Maybe it was gigawatts. Andy: or gigawatts, yeah. Five gigawatts. It's numbers that we're not even supposed to comprehend. Mark: yeah so is the solution you know like I don't use Amazon that I don't how can you not use AI to reduce the demand to the extent they won't build these things Andy: You can't. You can't. You can't. I mean, you know, someone, I read a thing a guy wrote in, he was recruiting for his company and they needed someone. And his HR department spent four months looking for a candidate and they said, we can't find anyone suitable. And he said, this is fucking ridiculous. How can there be nobody suitable? So what he did was he changed his name. put in a new email address and he applied for the position himself, knowing what the position required and changed a few bits in his background, but filled in the application perfectly acceptably and it was rejected Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: within four minutes. And it turns out that it was read by an AI first and the AI was trained to search for certain keywords and certain things. But one Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: thing was missing from his file and that was the the suffix to one of the files which should have read dot js. It didn't have the dot js so as soon as the AI came across that it just dismissed it. So that means that everybody who sent in an application was just being rejected even if they were perfectly suitable for the task. And this is the Mark: Yeah. Andy: problem that you have when you take the human out of the equation. Mark: Hmm. Andy: I mean, I know damn well that jobs I apply for are being read by AI. And, you know, there's nothing you can do. You can't get past the AI. Mark: Mmm. Mmm. Yes it's going to be... I mean you know hopefully our kids are smart enough to be able to deal with the situation but at the moment everything is going in the wrong direction. Andy: Our kids are brought up to accept all this shit. Mark: Well actually that's a very good point. They, not our children, but our grandchildren will be brought up to think this is normal. Maybe it is the new normal, I don't know. We're old so, you know. Maybe this is the new normal where it's completely okay for, let's call it, 10 individuals in America to control basically everything. The politics, the money, employment, everything. Andy: We should make it law that every child before going to school every day has to watch 1984 and then Terminator. And then they can go to school. Mark: Why do you choose? Why do you choose so too? So George Orwell's 1984. I can certainly agree with that, but Terminate. Just because you like it. Andy: AI runs the world. AI created Skynet. Skynet Mark: Hang on, I've got to... Andy: took over the world with Terminators. It built the Terminators to wipe out the humans. Mark: yes of course. Yeah that was more in, that was actually more in episode two wasn't it? was it... Andy: No, that's where Terminator's originated from. Mark: Was it? Alright, I have to reme- Andy: The origin story of the Terminator came in Terminator 2, Mark: Right. Andy: but Terminator itself was the focus of Terminator and it obviously was built by humans or built by an AI that was built by humans. Mark: 1984. I've actually read the book probably a couple of times I would say. Anyway, so yes. Andy: Anyway, we can't just do a whole programme on this. Mark: about data centres. No, right. Gerard Kushner. Did you see that his phone had been hacked? Andy: I hope it was me. Mark: apparently his phone was hacked by in some indirect way a Dutch journalist and Andy: Yeah, he's a white hat hacker. Mark: and he was able to track his money transfers and it's quite worrying, not surprisingly if it's true that he's been receiving billions from Saudi Arabia and places like that and he's been paying mercenaries, drug dealers, dictators and it's all come out over the weekend as a result of this hacking of his phone and I was thinking is there a point where literally there would be a lynch mob outside his front door dragging him out the door and stringing him up from the closest tree. mean Andy: They should be. Mark: is there a point where he, not just Jared Kushner, but any of these people do something so heinous that it actually drives people to revolt in the French way. Andy: Well, Trump said it himself, didn't he, that he could walk down the street in New York and shoot someone and people wouldn't care. They would still vote for him. Mark: Some people wouldn't care, but the people who do care, would they be motivated enough to actually do something? Andy: I think that they're just too terrified that it's got out of hand too far, it's gone too far, he's too big, the government is just untouchable and the longer it goes on with nobody doing anything the worse it's going to get. Mark: well it's it's quite interesting because literally in a week and half's time we are going to find out what his reaction is and what the results revolting Andy: I hope it's a very French reaction. Yeah, I want to see riots. Because if he tries to interfere, and we know that he will somehow, he's already mad that his particular favorite candidate for the Brazilian election didn't win. Mark: no that's right that went to Lulu or Lula whatever her name is his name is the Andy: Yeah, they're the incumbent. Mark: the left wing fellow and his Bolognansis or whatever her name Andy: Yeah, and Trump is mad about that. And what the fuck has it got to do with him? Mark: Nothing. Andy: because I can't now steal all the fucking resources. Mark: And there was some bizarre story about these midterms in Alaska. Have you read that story? That the White House has decided that if the result goes against them, it's not valid because they were confused, that the voters were confused. And when Todd Blanch, the DOJ man, was there, what do you mean confused? It says in here if it goes against your man, they're confused. What's confusing about that? He just lost. no, it doesn't say that. And then the interviewer literally read the words in this DOJ application or something and it literally says if he loses, they're obviously confused. It invalidates the vote. anyway it is Andy: Anyway, other news that isn't about Trump or data centres. Mark: Yes. Andy: Meghan Markle's daddy. Mark: Er, yeah. What was he? He was a bit of an abuser. Andy: Well, he's been arrested in the Philippines where he lives, which in itself is a suspicious move, for being in possession of some rather unsavoury pictures of youngsters. Mark: Alright. Andy: And also, I saw in the newspaper today that his ex-wife, or one of them, I don't know how many he's had, sent a letter to the police. saying at some point in their relationship he told her that he's going to the Philippines because it's acceptable there to do 12 year old girls. Now I'm Mark: Hmm. Andy: not sure how much credence to put into that because why the fuck would you tell your ex-wife anything as incriminating as that? Mark: Yeah, no, you're right. Andy: ex-wives are notoriously fucking vindictive to start with without giving them ammunition. Mark: What do mean, how do you know these things? You don't have an ex-wife. Andy: I know enough people who do. And some of them would love to take a contract out. I know that you're amicable with your ex-wife, but that's because you fund her lifestyle. Mark: No I don't. Well, not anymore. Andy: Well, not anymore, but when you broke up, you made damn sure. I mean, you basically Epstein'd her off. You paid for her silence. You paid for her silence. Mark: What do you mean? Don't associate me with anything to with Epstein. Epstein, what are you... Andy: come on off the bloody soundboard! We'll never know will we because you have effectively bought her silence. Mark: I didn't have any secrets, my life is far too boring. No, you're right. Andy: Have a flat, have a car, have a business. Mark: not quite how I saw it or she saw it but no but Megan Markle has made I think she's made a statement saying that she knew about this back in 2017 or made a statement in 2017 Andy: Which again is the Esther Ransom question isn't it? If she knew about it, instead of protecting herself and her reputation, why didn't she think about protecting the fucking kids who were possibly being abused and say something about it? Mark: Well, how do you know she didn't? Andy: We know damn well she didn't, because it's Meghan Markle. And she Mark: Well, no we don't. I see. Andy: came out and said, I did actually write a letter to the Metropolitan Police. And the Metropolitan Police said, well, no, no, you didn't. Mark: Yes they did. No, no, no. They received the letter. They didn't pass it on to anybody is what they said. It's on the headline. Andy: No, they'd have no record of her writing a letter. Mark: We received the letter in 2017 but did not pass it on to any other authorities. Andy: Not from Meghan Markle. Mark: Yes. Literally it says it on the BBC headline. God. Whatever. Andy: The way I know. BBC for fuck's sake. Anyway. Anyway. Mark: Yes. Andy: Anyway, the point is, he was allowed, if he's guilty, he's been allowed to continue abusing for 20 fucking years. Mark: Yeah, but that's, Are you saying that this... It's a horror story, but there's loads of them. Are you saying that this reflects badly on Meghan Markle? Andy: Mmmmm Mark: chic. Andy: if she knew about it 20 years ago, why was she so publicly reaching out to her father to try and make amends? Mark: Was she? I thought she had cut off all contact with her father. Andy: Eventually contact was cut off but in the events leading up to the wedding and after the wedding she was very public about trying to build a bridge. Mark: I think the story is less about Meghan Markle and more about her father actually. Andy: What a story is about the children that might well have been fucking abused by him. But, Mark: Mmm. Andy: that's not the popular story, is it? Mark: no, you're right. Sorry, does he still live in the villa? Has he been arrested or so? Did you say he had been arrested? Andy: As far as I'm aware he's been arrested. I don't know if he's being held or what. I mean the whole story is suspect. Apparently he's grown up son. was in his 50s. found a box in the basement and handed this box to the police that had all this stuff in it. But why is his grown-up son in his 50s living in the Philippines with his dad is another fucking question that I'd like answered. I don't know, the whole family Mark: Yes, I must... Andy: is fucking suspect. And as we know, Megan herself is very familiar with Jeffrey Epstein. And Mark: What? Andy: I told you years ago, If not, well, probably even this year it has been mentioned that Harry was not the first royal that Meghan was involved with. She was farmed out to Prince Andrew long before Harry was on the scene. I've told you this before. Mark: I know but I just dismissed it as you. Andy: Yes, but stop dismissing it. Stop dismissing everything as, that's just bollocks. Because that is how these people get away with doing what they get away with doing. Because everyone says, Mark: Bit tight. Andy: that can't even be, that's just nonsense. It's not always nonsense. Mark: what the Andrew got there before Harry. Andy: She was on the menu at Epstein Island, I'm telling you. Mark: dear. The thing is that, you know, whenever we talk about Meghan Markle, it is a little bit tainted because you do go off on a bit of a rant. So one has to... Andy: Because I know who she is! Mark: She's an actress, for Christ's sake. Andy: she's not really though, is she? She's only ever been in one theme. Mark: Yeah, but very successfully though, she was paid a fortune. Andy: No, no, she didn't make a fortune. We've had this discussion. Do you know Iron Man? Iron Man? Who plays Iron Man? Robert Downey Jr. Do know how much he got paid for the first film? Mark: Iron Man, yes, yep, with Larry. Junior, Downey. $250,000. Andy: Half a million dollars. So how much do you think Meg and Mark got paid for being in every episode of Suits? It wasn't anywhere near that mate. Mark: Yeah but you... Look, the reason why Robert Downey Jr only got paid half a million for his first Iron Man thing is because he was a down and out at that stage. was in the... He was blacklisted from everything and they thought, well give this bloke a chance. He hadn't been in a proper movie for years. Like John Travolta. with pulp fiction it was exactly the same situation whereas I don't think Meghan Markle has ever had a dark period in her career she was very young when she went on to suits and she stayed there for however many years ten years or something Andy: That's the only job she would ever get. She wasn't a great actress. Mark: Well I'm not saying she was an Oscar candidate. Andy: She certainly wasn't. She was never asked to do a movie. look at Gillian Anderson. She went on to do so much stuff after the X-Files. Mark: You can name any number of people who started off in TV and then went on to movies, but there lots that didn't. Andy: Well, just don't say... But don't say that she was a great actress, because she wasn't. Mark: I'll tell you, just to change the subject away from Bloody Meghan Markle, do you remember a film, an English movie about some bloke's funeral that probably was in the nineties or something but interestingly who was in it? was a very English cast, Peter Dinklish. Andy: yeah. Mark: Do you remember the funeral? And it turns out that he was the father's lover. The father, exactly. Andy: He was the lover of the father. Mark: It was quite a funny movie, actually. How he got that part? Andy: It was brilliant. It was a very dark comedy. Mark: I don't have a clue. And that fellow who took he thought it was Valium and it turned out to be LSD laced E Andy: Acid. Mark: or something It was a good funny movie actually Andy: Yeah. Mark: Meghan Markle wasn't in that so obviously she was shite Andy: Well, obviously, and just before we leave Meghan Markle completely, I don't know if you saw this. No, I don't know if you saw that her people put out a thing regarding the gentleman saying that she'd never been approached by Guy Ritchie and that the gentleman were using her just to go on a publicity. I mean, out of the two of them. Who requires the most publicity? Seriously. Mark: Yeah, no, that is a bit rich actually. That is a bit rich, I have to say. Even I would accept that's a bit nonsensical. Andy: using my name to further their own tacky little series which obviously will sink without a trace. No she doesn't. Mark: She doesn't sound like that, Andy. Andy: She doesn't. She sounds like a crack whore when the cameras are off. Mark: for god's sake! It just gets worse! Andy: Harry, y'all go out and get me some brown. I'm a hurting. Mark: She doesn't. Andy: My teeth are falling out again. Get me some raw dentists, screw you. Anyway, she's Canadian, but... Mark: That's right, she is Canadian as well. And was it Alberta decided not to separate from Canada? Very sensible Andy: Quite rightly. Mark: decision. Andy: Lighter news, Mark: Go for it. Andy: I did find, now I've completely forgotten it and let's see if I've saved it somewhere, I hope I did. Mark: I certainly hope so because I need some light entertainment rather than you ranting about Meghan Markle. God, dear. Andy: Damn it, I'm not sure I did. Mark: dear, what was it about? You can't remember anything about it. Andy: it was. Mark: A Story in the Sun. Andy: No, you don't find the good stuff there. Mark: You don't? I thought Andy: No. Mark: that was your main source of good fun stories. Andy: Good God no. Mark: It was probably Halloween related. Someone grew a two-ton pumpkin. Andy: No. Let me see if I can find it. Mark: Do you have key search words that you use? Funny stories on the internet. Andy: the word weird is usually quite good. Mark: is it? You've to search for weird stories, do you? Andy: weird or strange. Mark: I wonder how that fellow is getting on who's... Andy: Jermaine Pennant, footballer. Out walking his dog Mark: No? Andy: in North London. His dog was attacked by a German shepherd. He got in between them. He ended up with 50 stitches in his leg. Now Mark: No, really? Andy: listen, how irresponsible is this? Decided not to report it. and said his dog was okay, he's okay. Mark: What, so the German shepherd who was attacking his dog and subsequently... Andy: No consequences. Now next time it could kill a kid. Mark: I'm always... yeah... no... I I think they've banned most of the really dangerous dogs and certainly the German Shepherd Dog has an Alsatian, isn't it? I Andy: Yeah. Mark: mean there are so many of them and it is very very rare and of course they do say that never get in between fighting dogs and even fighting cats. Andy: How can you stop yourself if your pet is being attacked? Mark: Er, no, mean, yeah, it's fair enough, it's a good question, but I remember, erm, if her cat Simba was being attacked by another cat outside her back door... Andy: and she's ended up bloody. Mark: and she ended up in hospital because in fact Simba it was Simba that actually bit her because she literally saw his teeth go into her so she had to have tetanus injections and god knows what else I mean you know once they're in that rabid mentality they're not particular as to who they're biting they'll bite anything Andy: Well, as we all know that if you die in your apartment like what I will one day, they will eat my face. Mark: Yes, is that what cats do they eat your face? Sorry who is this footballer is he very well known? Andy: He was an England footballer. We've watched him during the 90s and probably Mark: World Cups a few years. Andy: 2000s, early 2000s in the Euros, et cetera. Mark: So he's not a current footballer. Andy: He's not in the England team anymore. He's on Sky Sports as a pundit. Mark: Alright, well that's fair enough. 50 stitches, that's quite a lot. Andy: That's a lot of RIP-age. Mark: I've got the most I've ever had is one two three four five six stitches that's the most I've ever had. You've had a few stitches haven't you, didn't they sew up your legs? Andy: I've had stitches everywhere. I've had more stitches than Frankenstein's monster. Mark: Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration Andy. What, you've had two? Andy: No, I've had more than that in my left hand. Mark: My, what did you do? Andy: Nothing. Mark: What do you mean nothing? You fell over on a drunken party? Andy: No, it was while I was living in Stockholm I bought some cheese. And you know how they vacuum shrink wrap this stuff now in like basically bullet proof paper, plastic. Mark: impossible to get into. Yeah, yeah. Andy: I had a very sharp lock knife, brand new, but I thought I'll slice it open with this. So I sliced it, bounced off. and stabbed myself and you probably can't see the scar but Mark: No. Andy: it's quite good. And when the knife went in, it sort of really went in and I pulled it out and this jet of blood went pshhhh. Mark: no! God! Because that's very close to your artery there in your wrist. It wasn't. Andy: No, was in the meat of my thumb in the first ball joint where it joins the palm. So it's nowhere near the artery, but it was high pressured because it spurted. It didn't spurt with my heartbeat. It was just the initial release. But I think Mark: God. Andy: four stitches on that one. Mark: All right. Andy: It was a bit... It's inconvenient. Mark: How did you get to hospital? Did you stumble into the hospital with a towel, a red blood soaked towel around your hand or something? Andy: No, I got on the bus. Mark: What? Andy: Yeah, I got on the bus. See, you know, it was just a nick, really. It's not like I had an eyeball hanging off on a stem. So, one to the hospital please. Mark: you got a ticket you got a ticket in that machine over there Andy: I'm sorry, can you put my finger in the right position? Mark: Yeah. All right. So come on, haven't, we can't have run out about news stories. We've covered some pretty trivial stuff and some pretty important stuff. Was that the story you were looking for? Andy: No, no I just realised it was in the current bun and I read it earlier. Mark: unfortunately the BBC tends to actually deal in news rather than just silly stories. I know you don't think so. Andy: Well, it's very biased news, unfortunately, with the BBC. Mark: In what respect? Andy: It's actually in the name Britain's Biased Corporation. Mark: Bye. British Broadcasting Corporation. Andy: Yeah, well lot of British people are not happy with that name. And if Trump was Mark: Why? Andy: Prime Minister we would have him change it. Mark: Alright, here's, I want your opinion on this. Sorry to go back to Trump, but you mentioned it at BBC. Andy: Or should have kept me mouth shut. Mark: Do you think he's going to give a deposition by December the 11th, which is the deadline? Andy: Fuck no. Of course not. He won't be ordered by anybody to do anything. Mark: So that means the case is going to be dropped. Andy: That was always going to be the plan. It's another diversion from the Epstein files, which everybody has stopped talking about and we need to bring back into focus. Mark: you're right actually yes that hasn't been in the news for some time yes i mean you know the bbc did play it rather well because in fact who was it who folded the ccbs folded didn't and they paid trump money i think it was cbs Andy: They've all paid. They've paid billions. Mark: Yeah. Andy: All these networks have paid, rather than face Trump, because they have no balls. And it trickles down, that no balls to the general American public. Because they'll look at it and say, if the corporations can't do anything about it, what the hell can we do? Mark: Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't say the BBC necessarily had balls. It's the fact that they don't operate in America. And they don't have 10 billion, yeah, exactly. Andy: No, they just don't have 10 billion. And they don't have 10 billion anyway. Next year your BBC licence will now cost you £4,328 per person. Mark: I'm going to do a calculation 10, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, divided by 63, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, it's only 15 quid ahead. Andy: Yes, but you don't... Mark: 16 pounds ahead. Yeah. Andy: per person, but you don't pay per person, you pay per household. Mark: that's a good point. That's every child and pensioner as well. Andy: Also, that's just to pay the fine. Mark: and you've got legal costs. Andy: then legal costs is going to double that because lawyers, will, Mark: Well, hopefully not 10 billion. Andy: The only people who make money out of these litigation cases are fucking lawyers. And then you've still got to make all your programs. So Mark: Yeah. Andy: the cost of a 10 billion lawsuit is probably closer to 50 billion. Mark: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so that's December the 11th is the cutoff date. Andy: Well anyway, it's Guy Fawkes this week, next week. Mark: no it's not no it's not no it's next week it's nine days away Andy: Yeah, but, it's, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I'm looking ahead. We've already done an episode on Guy Fawkes, unfortunately, so that's out the window. No, Mark: We've done two or three as I recall. Andy: we've only done one. We've only done one. It was a good one. Mark: Are you going to celebrate, Guy Fawkes? Andy: No, I'm not even sure you can buy fireworks here before New Year's Eve. Mark: That's a good question actually, I think you're right. Andy: Where would you go? Mark: to them in the garden. Andy: No, where would you go to buy them? Garden. Mark: yes. Andy: You fucking posh cunt. You flash bastard. Garden. Mark: I don't think it's necessarily posh that you've got a garden for God's sake. Don't you have a garden? Andy: No I have a balcony. Mark: No, but you must have a communal garden with playthings for the children. Andy: There's a thing out the back, but it's, I mean, it's not for me, is it? I'm not going to sit on a swing. Well, I'm not allowed to go there for one thing, yeah. Mark: Well no, you're banned from being exactly within 100 metres of anybody under 25. Andy: This is why keep my curtains drawn, just in case they spot me within that 50m radius. Mark: You don't, do you, I hope. Keep your curtains drawn all day. Andy: No, I have one curtain drawn behind my monitor, but that's just for soundproofing purposes. Mark: Here's a question for you. Are you aware that cholesterol only comes from animal products? Andy: Mmm, I haven't really looked into it. Mark: because I was thinking, so I had my medical last week and they said your cholesterol levels are higher than they were the year before, how's your diet, etc etc and as a result I checked because I sometimes have peanut butter for breakfast and I thought well that's got to be high in cholesterol, it's so fatty and apparently not. There's absolutely no cholesterol in peanut butter. Andy: Well then, I would like to know why I have got high cholesterol. Because I very rarely Mark: Why I can't Andy: eat meat. Mark: I thought that's for your diet. You never eat vegetables. Andy: No, my diet has changed considerably, especially the last couple of years. I can't Mark: What? Andy: afford to eat the shit I used to eat. Mark: So where do you eat? Andy: mostly leftovers from the cats. Mark: I don't have cat food. dear. Andy: they get first pick, obviously. Mark: When did you last have your cholesterol checked? a year ago. Andy: probably more when they put me on statins. Mark: you're on statins? Andy: Yeah. Mark: because that's what they were recommending for me. They said, you know, there's no harm, just a little help to keep your cholesterol under control. Andy: Yeah, I've been put on them but I've never been monitored since because 300 grams for a blood test. Yeah, fuck off. Mark: So what do you take? One pill a day? Andy: Yeah. 120 mil, I don't know, 20 micrograms or milligrams, whatever it is. Mark: Alright, okay. No, and the other thing is you don't do anything to counteract the cholesterol. Andy: Like what? Mark: Exercise. Andy: I do exercise. Mark: You don't. Andy: I walked to the toilet, needed. Mark: You don't do it, you don't go for walks outside and things like that, do you? Andy: Well, I need to the shops really. Mark: Yeah, but you take your scooter for that. That's not the same as walking. Andy: Not in the winter. Mark: Alright. Andy: Can we see? Mark: Yeah, but how far is that? That's 500 meters away. Andy: I think probably a good kilometre round trip. Mark: Exactly 500 meters. Andy: you Mark: Yeah, well that's why you've got to do exercise. Andy: It's very difficult to exercise when... You live in the middle of nowhere. You think, I'll go for a walk. Mark: Some would argue that makes it easier. Andy: Where? There's nowhere to go. And once you've got a route, it's the same route. The repetitiveness would kill me. Also, also, also, you know I have Mark: Do you think your finger activity on the keyboard is exercise? Andy: problems with walking distance. Mark: walking. Andy: I don't want to Mark: Yeah. Andy: get fucking stranded six meters from home and unable to get that last gasp through the door and I die of exposure outside. Mark: yeah no you're right you're right yeah yeah it's true anyway come on one last story there's got to be something going on in the world that's interesting probably not. It's quite nice Andy: What am I be? Mark: it's quite nice not to have loads of big news going on the whole time. Andy: Well. I don't know, there is plenty of big news. Mark: Will you say that? Andy: Erm, one... Okay, I know we said we're gonna move away from it, but it's not about him, it's about his daughter. Apparently... Melania? Is that his daughter? Okay, Mark: No, that's his wife. Andy: who's the one who sounds like Melania? Mark: Ivan Ivanka Andy: No, there's another one. Mark: the one that's married to Gerard Kushner. Andy: Maybe. Mark: Yeah, the tall blonde one, the one he said he'd sleep with. Andy: Whatever, it began with an It's one of either his wife or his sister. Apparently, she negotiated a ceasefire in one city in Ukraine. Ooh! So she... Who Mark: no, that was Melania. That's right. Andy: the fuck understood her? Who the fuck Mark: that Andy: sat down at a table with her and went, yes, I understand you completely. We will now stop shooting. Mark: Well, I can tell you the background to that. Two weeks ago, there was a lot of coverage of Melania Trump, who is the First Lady, does absolutely nothing. She doesn't work, you know, for the charities. She doesn't, she literally does nothing. Andy: She's given up the pole dancing. Mark: She just stays in her house in Miami or wherever the hell she lives. Where's Mar-a-Lago, Florida, wherever it is. Andy: Florida. Mark: So she obviously didn't like, or the White House didn't like the media criticism of the First Lady basically doing nothing. And so they invented this story about Melania having negotiated a ceasefire in a town in Ukraine. Andy: she can't negotiate purchasing a gallon of milk at the local shop. Mark: So it's so transparent. know, the media don't like Melania. They're saying she doesn't do anything. Let's make up a story about how she's negotiated a ceasefire. Andy: What about she's the first woman who actually went to Mars? Mark: Well was another story out and Andy: Just as believe. Mark: it's been out lots of times but it was renewed probably as a result of that story that in fact she was an escort. Andy: Well, yes, that's how Donald Trump met her, through Jeffrey Epstein. Everything leads back to Epstein and we need to fucking get to the bottom of it. We've got to stop ignoring Mark: Will we? Andy: Jeffrey Epstein people. Mark: Will we? Andy: Yes, we will. Hopefully we will before it's too late because I'll tell you what, everything we've spoken about today with the data centers and the American democracy, we are approaching end times here. We need to fucking put a stop to it. And the only way to do that is to expose what is actually happening. Mark: I think the truth is going to Andy: The truth is out there. Mark: be so bad it will be incomprehensible. Andy: I would comprehend it. I'm ready for it. Mark: I think that the stories are actually true, all of them. Andy: Yes. Mark: know, Trump raping the 13 year old, that poor model who Andy: Yep. Dead babies. Mark: came out screaming from a party, they're eating people, they're eating people, and two weeks later she disappears. I think it's all true, and I think that it is so... harrowing and unbelievable, even if they do find out it's true, they won't tell people. It's beyond belief. Andy: See, you've got to stop protecting people because they're not protecting anyone, they're lying to us. It's not the same thing. Mark: I never thought I would actually, it's not a conspiracy theory as such, but I didn't think... Andy: Well actually if I said it a year ago you would have said you and your conspiracy theories. So technically it is. Everything is a conspiracy theory but some turn out to be actual conspiracies. Mark: No, I don't know hang on a second. I've never doubted the validity of most of the Epstein stuff I've never said it was all an invention. I mean, you know, I'm talking about vaccines and Let me even tease you with Who's that? Andy: and start me off. Mark: Who's that poor girl who who disappeared in Italy met Magdalene? No Andy: Muddly McCann. Mark: Madeleine McCann. You know those are basically in my mind conspiracy theories but I've never questioned the validity of the Epstein stories. Andy: I've noticed they still haven't arrested that chap who's definitely the one that they're interested in for the last five years. Mark: What do mean he's in prison? Andy: No, he's been released now, hasn't he? He's out. Yeah, Mark: What the German fellow? Andy: as far as I'm aware, he's out. Mark: Anyway, I don't want to go into it. It's just too depressing to... Anyway, yeah, yeah. So next week we're going to have quite a lot to talk about because by then the National Guard will be out on the streets in America. I think it's budget. Isn't it budget in UK? Andy: That's gonna be the first nail in Andy Burnham's coffin. Mark: And... Andy: Because he came aboard shouting big promises about easing the burden on the working person and all the rest of it. And like every Prime Minister before him, he's gone, but we can't do it this time. It'll have to be after the next general election. You can't just, sorry, but he has. Mark: I don't know whether he has actually said that. Andy: And you can't just keep moving the fucking goalposts. It's about, because we get this all the time. we're going to do this, we're going to do that, but we can't. now you've given us the power. We can't do it now. It's going to be in the future when you vote for us. It's just Trumpism. It's promises that will never ever be fulfilled. And this is why I fucking hate politicians, because they all tell the same lie. You watch what happens. People are going to get caned tax wise. Mark: I have a I think it is this week. Yes. Andy: And pensioners Mark: Maybe they're going to... Andy: will still die in the winter because they can't afford to turn the heating on. Mark: They are talking about getting rid of the triple lock actually, is the rate of increase of pensions. they've already said that, have they? That's going. Andy: That's going. That's going. That's definitely going to go. they're talking about transferring it into some kind of contributory care home thing that you pay a certain amount every month after the age of 40 to guarantee your place in a care home when you hit a certain age, which is It's Orwellian. Again. Because not everybody requires a care home. Mark: Most people do. Andy: And if you're paying £20 a month for 25 years, what's that, like, £6,000? Mark: nothing. Andy: How is that going to come? That's a week in a care home. Mark: Care Home's about £1,700. Andy: Okay, it's a month in a care home. Mark: A week is 1700 apparently. Yeah, exactly. Andy: So how are you going to justify the finance in there? It's just bollocks. It's a lie. Again, because it's 25 years away for the first people who are going to qualify. So they don't have to prove anything. They just have to keep you reeling in. Come on, come to daddy. Keep voting. Fucking bollocks. Mark: I think by the time we get to our 80s, I think this euthanasia thing is going to be everywhere. I think everyone will have the opportunity to do it. Andy: It's not an opportunity, don't say it like it's a good thing. It's their way Mark: I think it is. Andy: of making you believe that you're in control of your own future. You're not. They are gonna give you euthanasia and they're gonna make you think it's your fucking choice. It's their way of Mark: Uh-huh. Andy: getting rid of the useless eaters. Mark: The useless eaters. I see. Andy: That's what we are to them. Useless eaters. Mark: I've never thought about it in those terms actually. Andy: Well, maybe you should. This is why I am what's known as a highly intelligent being, because I think Mark: You Andy: outside of your little tiny box. Mark: I highly intelligent being. that how you look upon yourself, Andy? Andy: If Trump can say it, I can fucking say it. I Mark: dude. Andy: got an IQ of 1775. Mark: At least you've read a book. Andy: I've read several. Reading some great ones at the moment actually. Mark: Are you? Andy: that reminds me, I'm going to treat you after we stop recording. I'm going to let you into a secret. Mark: All right. Andy: But before I let you into my secret, I better stop recording I suppose. Okay, thanks for listening people. I hope you learned something from today's episode. Mark: Indeed, Yep. All right. Yep. We're going to have to get some new material, Andy. We can't talk about, I mean, next week we are going to be talking about Trump because of the midterms, but we can't talk about bloody Meghan Markle and Trump every week. Andy: can't help it if they keep saying stupid stuff. It's not my fault. Mark: we touched on Brazil but that was literally touched on Brazil. Andy: Yeah, I like Brazil. I think we should spend more time there. Mark: All right, very good. Yeah. Andy: Yep, thanks for listening. Hope you learned something, unlike Mark. Mark: I did that for... Andy: And we'll Mark: Yep. Andy: see you on Sunday. pardon me. Mark: next week. Andy: We'll see you on Sunday and we'll see you for more of this nonsense. Same time, same place next week. Bye for now. Mark: Very good. Cheerio.