Andy: Hello everyone, I'm Andy Richard: And I'm Richard. Andy: and he's not Mark. Richard: I'm not Mark. I'm standing in for him again. I am the tub of lard once more. Andy: Yeah, he's out collecting his tithes from the peasant farmers on his lands across Europe somewhere. I don't Richard: Nice, nice. Andy: know, putting down a rebellion or something, probably squashing the Scots. Richard: You No, I know that's one thing I can't see mark doing leading any kind of army in any way shape or form Andy: no, he would lead from the rear. Richard: Yeah Andy: He would definitely be right behind you, Richard: Hehehehehe Andy: 35 kilometres behind you. Richard: yeah, no, you probably would have made a good first world war general. Andy: Yeah, you chaps run very quickly towards that machine gun. Richard: Yes. So yeah, Talking Shy. I've not done Talking Shy before. Andy: Yeah, have you listened to it? Richard: A couple of them, yeah. Andy: Basically what we do is we have a quick glance at the newspaper and then we take the piss out of the world. Richard: It seems reasonable what I've been having a good look and obviously the the main news at the moment is AI isn't it? Andy: Is it? I see it differently. mean, AI is big news and we will talk about it, but what jumped out me this week, and you can't get away from it, is President Trump. Because although a farm worker spotted some suspicious activity near an RAF base in England Richard: Yes. Andy: and called the cops. Trump has claimed credit for this! Richard: See I missed that bit! Andy: he's had them under surveillance for a very, very long time and he's worked very closely with Scotland Yard and other people and they've worked really well. Richard: farmer presumably. Andy: They've worked really well and it was going to be big. It was going to be really, really bigly. But luckily Trump saved the world again. He's a cunt and a half, that fucking pumpkin. I Richard: Fucking yeah Andy: mean, to be honest, No one had a fucking clue and if that woman hadn't been out walking her dog or whatever she was doing at the time at 1am in the morning and saw five transit vans acting suspiciously anything could have happened. Richard: Well indeed, yes! Andy: fucking under surveillance for a very long time. Where the fuck were you? Richard: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Andy: You and your fucking rainbow six fucking operatives. When PC plot came along. Richard: Is there any idea who they are? attempted bombers? Andy: They're saying nothing because it's a live investigation. We don't want to prejudice Richard: Mmm. Andy: the investigation because it's live. But, and I was listening to LBC this morning and I loved the way they said, I think it was West Street, you know, someone who was talking saying, but you know, as usual, we will be very transparent with who they are and where they're from. I thought, you what? as you are. Normally it's, we're not going to disclose the ethnicity, but we will say that it's not a terrorist. That's the usual first line of fucking defence about transparency. Richard: Yeah Andy: It's definitely not a Muslim. And then it later comes out, Mr. Mohammed Al-Bahiyya. Richard: Yeah but then you know that is understandable because if they instantly came out and said we suspected a Muslim terrorist attack then they'd have grannies and grand dads and right-wing nutters rampaging all around the country attacking in b &b's and doing all the shit that they like to do these days so Andy: I think if you're going to jump to conclusions you've got to jump straight to Iran, I'm afraid, because the RAF base in question is used by the US Air Force. Richard: Mmm. Well, I'm aware of that, yes. But, Andy: So although they were completely unaware that Trump was patrolling outside the grounds and Richard: Mm-hmm. Andy: keeping an eye on them, they were definitely the target. Richard: Yeah, but you know, we now live in a world, don't we, where it could very well be Mossad pretending to be the Iranians just to stir shit Andy: absolutely. Richard: up. Andy: Yeah, you could literally hear Netanyahu giggling in the background. Richard: Yeah, Because it suits their purpose more than anybody else's. I mean, it has an Iranian target. I don't know. It doesn't seem to be part of their game plan. Andy: It's not like... I mean, we wouldn't allow them to use air bases in that fucking Iranian attack. So it's not like they owe us. Richard: No, I don't know. No. No, indeed. But then there are so many goddamn radical groups out there these days. Although, mean, it's nothing new, is it? I mean, Andy: you Richard: you and I, remember... What was it? There was the Bader-Meinhoft gang. The IRA, Andy: The IRA. Richard: obviously. Then there was the Andy: Black September. Richard: Black September. there was the red something red octo no Andy: Red October. The hunt for Red October. Sean Connery, he was a fucking baddie, wasn't he, Russian fucker. He was great with his, I have to say, was great with his Russian accent. Richard: Err, I can't say I remember. No, I didn't think so. I didn't think so. Andy: He never used one. He did his James Bond voice the whole way through and it was kind of off putting. Richard: My daughter and I the other day we watched Highlander. She's seen it before but she didn't remember it so we watched it again because the Kurgan is just one of the baddies of all times. I was explaining to her that the Scottish guy is actually French and the French guy... Andy: The French guy? Richard: no... yes... so the Scottish main hero is actually French and the Egyptian has a Scottish accent. Andy: Yes. Richard: But other than that, it's a bloody amazing film. Andy: I remember when it first came out Highlander, it was well ahead of its time. Richard: yeah and also it's got an amazing soundtrack by Queen Andy: Yeah. Richard: which really makes the movie it really does. Whoever decided that that was the way to go it was a genius idea. What else then? Andy: It didn't work quite the same for Flash Gordon. Richard: No. No, Andy: You Richard: then Flash Gordon is supposed to be camp, isn't it? It's, you know. Andy: Yeah, I mean you can imagine Freddie Mercury jumped out of his skin to record for that. Richard: Yes but you know just the whole the whole wardrobe departments yeah it was Andy: Flash, flash, we've only got 24 hours to save the world. Richard: you know it was a parody on do you remember the original flash gordon i remember the being on tv when Andy: I do. Richard: i was a kid never saw it in the cinema but i remember being on Andy: Did you ever see the porno version of Flesh Gordon? Fucking genius that was. I Richard: yes. It was actually, yeah yeah yeah. Andy: used to watch that quite regularly with, do you remember Carrie, Carrie, Carrie Moo? Or Carrie Boo? Carrie Bell? Carrie Bell from break, from upstairs. Richard: Yes, Kerry Bell, yes. Yeah, yeah. Andy: She used to come around my place and we'd sit and watch Flesh Gordon. Richard: You Andy: It's my fucking planet. Richard: Yeah. Again, the internet is kind of ruined. There is no sense of humour in pornography anymore. Nobody does parodies. You you used to have a lethal weapon. Andy: yeah. Richard: There was a porn version of that. They used to parody all sorts of movies in porn and it actually made them quite entertaining and funny to watch. Andy: Yeah, now it's just amateur this and amateur that is fucking awful. Richard: You know, it's a 10 minute thing on your phone. There is no sense of human, there's no irony in it, there's no mockery, there's nothing. Pornography has just become brutal, basic and quite, quite dull. Andy: Yeah, not that I watch any pornography or lot of pornography Richard: NNNN Andy: but what I have seen is all exactly the same as the last load of shit. Richard: Yeah, I mean I remember one it was called Tangerine and it featured the songs at Led Zeppelin Tangerine from Led Zepp3 I think and the plot was there was it was kind of Charlie's Angels there was four girls when they were these like spies and they were infiltrating some and the main character she was codenamed Tangerine and it was just funny as fuck because you you had moments where there was really bad kung fu going on and a couple of car chases and you know interspaced with hardcore porn but it was a giggle Andy: Yeah, you could tell I had fun making it. Richard: Yeah, no. Andy: But of course in those days, mean, those days, I remember when I was a young lad living in Soho and there were sex shops everywhere and people used to go into the sex shops and they would purchase like super eight films that cost like 80 or 90 pounds in those days to get a copy of a porno. Richard: Yeah. Andy: And I mean that was in the days where 80 or 90 pounds was a good week's wages for most normal people. Yeah. Richard: god yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah probably for a lot of people but then I suspect that a lot of those people used to then go back to the suburbs and have stag parties where Andy: Yeah. Richard: a bunch of blokes would give them like a few quid Andy: A tenner. Richard: and tenner and come around and watch it and then all get drunk I'm sure a lot of that used to go on Andy: fucking milk races. Anyway, Richard: Yeah. Andy: I don't know how we got there, but you were talking about AI. Richard: Yes, that's what happens when you talk shite isn't it? It goes all over the Andy: Yes. Richard: shop. Andy: Yes, we have found that. Richard: Yeah, no, I don't know just AI. mean the biggest problem with it is that both China and America are now financially locked into AI. AI is generating a lot of money for their economies which means Andy: No, but I don't understand how they think that's true. Richard: Well, building wise at the moment, I was reading an article earlier, China is now building massive data centers all over Mongolia. Andy: thing about data centers is they're largely unmanned. Richard: Once they're but the building of creates jobs. Andy: Yeah, but what you're doing is you're creating jobs for people to then make their job obsolete. Richard: Yeah, absolutely. politicians are by their nature short-term thinkers. None of them think long-term. And in this country, there's loads of places now fighting plans to build AI centers in their sleepy little Kent village. Andy: the last thing you want. Richard: But there's loads of plans for them. They want to build tons of them. Now the government are looking at it going well you know we're going to need the data centers at all. They create loads of building jobs in the short term. In the long term they're no fucking benefit. They just take water from local communities. You know we've had a massive drought this year. The hosepipe bans and all the rest of it. But there was no ban on water for data centers. They got all the water they needed. Andy: In all fairness, data centers in the UK and most places in Europe are self-contained units. So they reuse, they recycle that water. Whereas in Richard: No. Andy: America, they siphon it in from a lake and pump it back out again. It's just Richard: Yep. Andy: rubbish water that you can't do anything with once it's been used. It's rubbish. And it poisons the land. Richard: Was it dirty? Okay, how does it end up in poisonous then? Andy: any cooling system is chemically laced. Yeah. Richard: So it's got coolant in it as well as water. for fuck's sake. And of course it's America. They don't clean these things up. They're going to soon have new Great Lakes but made of pig slurry and chicken shit. Andy: Yeah, it's like the Richard: Cough Andy: alleged invasion of Greenland, which Donald has completed and now owns Greenland, apparently. And the Americans seem to think that they're going to be building new bases there at no extra cost, no cost to the US, which is, I don't know who gave them that idea. Richard: Well he did! Andy: Now they've always been allowed to build bases. In fact, they've got 17 empty bases there that they voluntarily abandoned because they were too expensive to run. Now Richard: Mm-hmm. Andy: they're welcome to refurbish those, but first they will have to move all the toxic shit that they left behind the last time. You messy bunch of litterbugs. Richard: Yep. that's what they're like though. There's a town in Spain where nobody can go to. You can't get within 10 kilometers of it because somewhere underneath it is a nuclear bomb that accidentally fell off an American plane. It buried itself in the ground but didn't detonate. and this is the Americans actually know where this one is they call them broken arrows there was a film in the 80s about it yes Andy: Yeah, John Travolta, I believe. Richard: I think so yeah and but they've lost tons and tons of nukes all over the place have no idea where the hell they are but the Spanish government have been trying to get some kind of money at the Americans for decades to try and clean this up to extract this nuke out of the bloody ground and get rid of it. The Americans don't want to know. They don't care. It's profit. Anything that bites into profit and go fuck itself. You know this is the problem with neoliberalism isn't it? There is no morality. There is no sort of sense of long-term thinking. It is all just short-term profit. Andy: yeah, sorry, we made a mistake. Allow us to fix it. Richard: what mistake did we make? yes! Andy: No, that's what I mean. No one's saying. Richard: No no no absolutely not. Andy: No one will say that. Richard: But know, But yeah, I don't know, it seems that we're into some kind of insane arms race with AA now as well, aren't we? China and America are in the thick of it. Andy: Honestly, America is out of the game. Richard: Well yeah, they're now gonna win and absolutely not. China is... Andy: America is completely and utterly out of the game. They've been put to shame by what's happened in Iran. And Richard: I remember... Yes. Andy: with the posturing and the boasting and the bragging that Trump does in the face of what is actually happening, everyone's just laughing at them now. Richard: Hmm. Andy: America is no longer a power, let alone a superpower. They're a fucking joke. Richard: Yes. I remember back in the noughties, Muslim cab driver informed me one night that the world was going to be Muslim one day. And I said yes, for about maybe I'll give you three months. I said and then the Chinese will come rolling in and that will be the end of you. I said the future is Chinese. I mean Asia is half the population of the world Andy: Yeah. Richard: and as I say they're building massive data centers all over Mongolia and being the Chinese, the article I was reading was showing pictures being the Chinese these data centers three years there are three phases to the build three years every data center bang up they go So, you know, they're way more efficient than we are at building anything. I some of the staff, some of the infrastructure in China these days, some of the insane bridges. mean, from a tourist point of view, they've got some of the best shit in the world out there now. Yeah! Andy: Yeah I know, Nathan put a bridge up in like three weeks. It takes the rest of the world 80 years. Richard: Yep. But they've got all sorts of mad shit. I've seen one it was like basically a massive elevator that kind of goes up through a waterfall. And it's just the tourist thing. You get in the elevator, you pay your five bucks and you go up and it's one of the tallest elevators in the world and you know they got restaurants and... obviously a coffee shop and a gift shop and but yeah now some of the stuff that you know is remarkable but you know one of the things that the article was saying is that there was one person they interviewed that didn't want to be named who said that you know being China they've decided and they're not really thinking about ecology or the sociology of it it's just like right let's get this done boom but then one of these potato farmers in Mongolia who is now his neighbor is going to be a data center out of nowhere boom a data center But he was saying well, you know my kids have work They're both working there now again, whether that's just part of the build Andy: Not for long. Richard: not for long, you know, but But he was all kind of positive about it. But as the reporter said it's very hard Excuse me. Very dangerous to criticize openly in China. you know, Chinese are more inclined to say, yes, yes, yes, it's marvelous. Whatever the chairman says. Andy: Yes, it can be hazardous to your health in China. Richard: But all their top techies now, computer techies, they're not going to America anymore. They used to all go America to study and to work, but now they're all staying in China because China's doing better than America. There's more jobs. Andy: Now the problem with China and America is that they are both opposed to having any safeguards over how and what we should allow AI to do. Richard: Yep. Andy: And no matter how you feel about AI and think that Terminator was just a movie, AI is incredibly dangerous. Incredibly dangerous. Experiments have been done already. within a sandbox, they've set AIs loose. I did a program on it with Mark a few months ago where they had like nine different AIs and they basically put them not connected to the internet, but connected to each other. And Richard: Yeah. Andy: they put them in a situation where they were running a business and they had to grow the business and they each had tasks. And they had, it was only like 15 days from start to finish. And at the end of the 15 days, there was an overall boss. There was a management layer and there were people, there were AI agents working behind other AI agents backs to get stuff done the way they wanted. They were excluding Richard: Yeah. Andy: each other from the loop. was, it was exactly like a corporation. Richard: Yeah, but you see the problem is that as long as we're programming them, they are going to behave like us aren't they? Andy: Well, the thing is they out-evolve us as well. Richard: Yes, now, I saw today that Trump has decided that from now on he doesn't like artificial intelligence. Superintelligence. Andy: no, yes, super. I'm surprised it's not American intelligence. Richard: Well indeed. Well yeah, but you get confused over the CIA don't you? Not that they have a lot of intelligence, but you know what I mean. Andy: They need to remove the word intelligence from their language at the moment, I'm afraid. Richard: But the tech industry is not going to start calling them super intelligence because they Andy: No one is. Richard: already know that super intelligence is the next level of artificial intelligence. Andy: Superintelligence, we won't even be here for that. Because artificial intelligence Richard: It's quite totally possible. Andy: will wipe us out long before superintelligence comes along. Richard: Yeah, I was watching this, it's on YouTube, Kutzegart I think is the German name for it, which translates to in a nutshell and they make these like 10-15 minute animated videos about all sorts of science stuff. You should watch it, it's very entertaining. I mean, I did one recently on what would happen if you dropped an elephant from out of space. Andy: that's from a Terry Pratchett book, Richard: Yes. Andy: except it was a whale. Richard: Yes. No, no, no. The whale is... Hitchhiker's God the Galaxy. Yes. Andy: no, was HICA's Guide to the Galaxy, yeah, sorry. Richard: The whale who has a brief moment of self-awareness before it goes splat. Andy: Yeah, where am I? Richard: You throw me now what was I talking about? Yeah, and I was watching one of their videos and it was about AI and super intelligence and But they were saying that AI at the moment although that you know, they train them they train them to do very specific things So they're a bit like kind of the level of a squirrel. It has enough intelligence to do the job that it's intended to do. But it doesn't have a broad intelligence base. They're all very specific, but they'll become super AI when, like our brains, they're able to think about many, many, many, many different things, do many, many, different tasks. An AI that can win chess games isn't taken over the world because all it knows how to do is win chess games. Andy: Yes, unfortunately, the AIs today are so, I mean, even the AI agents that I use just doing pictures and stuff that I use for this podcast, Richard: Mmm. Andy: they scare me for what I can do with them already. And the Richard: yeah! Andy: thing is they remember me. That's the really scary thing because like Richard: Mmm. Andy: if I ask for like a description of this episode. It says, do you want it done in the vein of Strange Stuff podcast or do you want it more as a narration of it? I'm like, whoa, hang on a minute. Are you listening to me? Yes, it is. And it's learning. Richard: Yes. The other night I asked the internet initially. I was just curious. How many songs are there in the world that include the word baby? Almost. Now the Andy: All of them. Richard: internet didn't know. The internet did not have an answer. So I have... It's not chat.gbt but the one I have on my phone. No, it's called... Andy: Claude? Siri? Richard: No. It is Chatbox AI. Andy: Google? Okay. Richard: So I asked it and it immediately came back with are you talking about every song in every language or just the English language or so I said no let's just do English language then because I'm specifically the word baby. So it came back with, well I guess somewhere between 50 and 150 million. Andy: Oof. Richard: But then it said, but if you'd like I can go through all of this information and this information and I can come up with a much more specific answer for you. Andy: but would that cost you money there? Richard: No don't think it would have cost me money but I didn't have the time to go down the rabbit hole with it but I thought bloody hell. You know, I wondered to myself, how long would it actually take it? Andy: It wouldn't take that long, the problem is AI works Richard: you Andy: in a very expensive way. When you ask a question that needs that kind of computing power, it then sort of takes over the whole data center that it's coming from, and it Richard: Alright. Andy: will keep those servers busy. And that's where the AI money comes in, because you... You are allowed a free amount of AI from chat GPT or Claude or whatever, but Richard: Yeah. Andy: you soon run out and it says, you've run out of time. have to come back at 12 o'clock this afternoon or something unless Richard: Alright. Andy: you want to go pro. and that's where that's how they're going to make their money is because you need to spend tokens. It's like when I was doing the AI advertising for strange stuff, podcasts. I had to subscribe to an AI company and I had tokens that I could spend to make videos and all the rest of it, Richard: Alright. Andy: which was how we did our adverts. you know, it Richard: Hmm. Andy: was fun, but it wasn't something that I wanted to do long term. Richard: I might get back on it and go down that rabbit hole and see how far I can go before it tries to charge me an arm and a leg. Andy: You could make it even better, could say that hit the top 20 in the UK. Richard: yes, I suppose, yes. Yes indeed. Anyway I also have been looking at, because we could go on about AI forever, but I see diesel prices two quid a litre. Andy: Yes, thank you America again. Well done the great Richard: Yep. Andy: USA. Well done Trump. All that winning must be making you fucking sick. And Richard: Yep. Andy: this is all because Donald Trump has put a halt on exporting diesel because he knows that they have hardly got enough for America because of his fucking actions. Richard: America yeah, I Know but I'm a two quid a liter. I mean I'm old enough to remember Andy: 50p a gallon. Richard: Yes, 50p a gallon yeah, I could we had a Mazda 323 hatchback great little car brilliant. I so much fun in that car And I could fill the tank for around a fiver in the 80s. Yeah, you know, and now it's like two quid a litre. was back in insanity. Andy: I remember my dad bought a Jag or a Daimler. Can't remember which. It was one of those old 3.5 litre saloon types. Richard: Yeah. Andy: Petrol tank on each side. Each held Richard: Alright. Andy: 12 gallons and it used to cost him I think £26 to fill it up. And that was incredibly expensive. Richard: Right, lot of money. That was a lot of money in those days. God, yeah. Andy: But now it would be closer to about £280. Richard: Yeah. Andy: That's fucking ridiculous. That used Richard: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: to be how much you'd spend to fill up a fucking truck towing logs from one end of the country to another. Richard: Yeah, no, it's insane. And as you say, it's all thanks to Donald Trump. in wanker. Something that I think it would be hard to blame even Donald Trump for this one but I saw that close to your heart. But Pope Leo's called on French bishops to root out the scourge of sexual abuse in the Roman Catholic Church. Andy: bollocks, have they fuck? I mean that is the Richard: you Andy: meat and drink for the church. Richard: Yeah. Andy: It's basically what they, that's how they recruit. It's the only perk of the job. I mean if you've Richard: Well, it's yes. Andy: got to stand there wearing a dress, working on every Sunday, you Richard: Yeah. Andy: need a perk. You need a hook. And the only Richard: Dude. Andy: hook is, if you like little boys. Come and join us, because we've got them fucking by the droves. Richard: The figures are fucking horrific though. reckon a 2021 inquiry reckoned that 330,000 boys were abused over a 70 year period. Andy: That's dropping the ocean. Dropping the ocean because... Richard: Probably, but yeah, but if they're prepared if that's what they're admitting to Andy: The priesthood or the Catholic Church, like the police force and like the army, they all whitewash over whatever wrongdoing they've done. If a priest is caught diddling kids, Richard: Mm-mm. Andy: he's not handed over to the police, he's moved to another parish. Richard: Well was that bishop in Australia a few years back. And he'd been shipped to Australia in the first place. mean very old-fashioned and colonial of them. Andy: Yeah, off to Australia. Richard: having been caught bleeding fiddling and diddling over here, he got shipped to Australia and made a bishop. And what did he do? He carried on. Andy: Of course he did, because now he's got a bigger uniform. Richard: Yep, and an even sillier hat. Andy: Yeah, and gold thread in his dress. Richard: Yes, I know the bishops hats, mean just all the hats the Roman Catholic lot wear is insane Andy: Everything they do is just fucking hell. Richard: But did you- Andy: How could you not? It's like Jimmy Savile. When you Richard: Yeah. Andy: look at a Roman Catholic bishop and you look at Jimmy Savile, you know you're looking at someone who should not be allowed near children. Richard: Are you suggesting then that the Pontiff's outfit is just the Roman Catholic shell suit? Yeah it is true! Andy: It is basically, isn't it? It's shiny. You put it on in the morning, just throw it on. You throw it at the bottom of the bed at night. You put it on the next day, it looks exactly the same. Richard: Is that it? Yep. Yeah, no, it's Andy: Goddamn. Richard: very true. I did watch Conclave. It was quite a good film, but yeah. I mean when we were over in Rome, we didn't go in because it was shut. I would have gone in otherwise. But we found a shop that sells all the robes and the accoutrements necessary for bishops and pontiffs and whatever the hell else they have there. And you know. It's Rome's that makes sense that they would have such a place. Andy: it's expensive as f**k Richard: I day didn't have prices on anything in the windows. But we did spend, must have spent a good 45 minutes outside just looking through the windows and giggling and laughing at the absolute ridiculous costumes that they had. Andy: I mean, you know, when we were kids, me and my brothers actually were altar boys. Richard: Yes. Andy: And we never got diddled. I somehow feel left out. What's wrong with me, you priesty fuck? But I quite enjoyed it. Richard: I suspect the street... yeah... I'm sure it's been a pleasant enough experience for a lot of kids. It obviously depends where you're doing it doesn't it? Andy: Yeah. Richard: Perhaps things were not quite so insane in London. Andy: That was while we were living in Hackney. Richard: But also the three of you are far too feisty. You wouldn't have kept your mouth shut would you? You would not have been easily intimidated. Andy: I would have fucking tried. Please no. Richard: you It always amazes me though when forced to do that why more people don't bite. Andy: think it's fear. It's just fear. Richard: Yeah, no, it's got be it's got yeah, it's got to be fair Andy: It's just, I think it's like the rabbit in headlights effect, isn't it? Richard: Yeah, yeah and it's you know not just fear of the individual though isn't it you've got the fear of the individual you've got the fear of the church you've got the fear of God and Jesus put into you there's a lot of fear Andy: And then you've got the fear of your classmates finding out you've had the priest cock in your mouth. Richard: Yes. But, yeah, I've often wondered, I don't remember what movie it was. It was one of those things probably made in the late 60s, early 70s. And it was a war movie. And there's a scene where there's, I don't know, he's an officer of some form or sort and they've come across a farm and there's a farm girl and he... forces her to suck his dick and she bites it off. Andy: Good girl. Richard: Yes, I mean she obviously dies for her efforts because he promptly shoots her in the head, but probably that was the inevitable ending of that scene anyway. But yeah, I've often, you know, mean it must take quite a lot of, I don't know if it's arrogance or self-confidence to put a woman in that position when she doesn't want to be there and then, yeah. Andy: I mean, they've got teeth. Why would you force the most delicate part of your body into something that's got teeth? Richard: Teeth! Yeah, no, I know. That was always puzzled me because I'd bite. But look, this is a woman in South Africa and she's invented something that's basically a set of teeth for the vagina. Have you seen this? Yeah, Andy: I have heard of this. Richard: so it's like, I don't know, about yay long I guess. And all inside it's got rigid plastic teeth. Andy: It's rated plastic. Richard: So once you're in, you Andy: You ain't getting out. Richard: ain't getting out without ripping yourself to pieces. and it's a sad world where somebody has to invent something like that but at the same time I can understand why because there's an awful lot of that shit goes on. Andy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what would, I wonder if some girls are going out and just deliberately picking up guys just to trap them. Richard: I would imagine that if there are women, there'd be a very small percentage of the amount of guys who go out intending to or are quite happy to rape. Andy: No, I mean, innocent guys. They actually go out and pick them up in bars just to see, just to trap. Richard: Well, as I said, yeah, there may be, you know, as I said, it could well have one or two. There may be a few out there who would do such a thing, but no, I mean, I think the number of men willing to rape far, far outnumbers the amount of women who will go out and do that just for shits and giggles. Andy: Can you stop that mate? Thank Can you hear him pouring into the mic? Richard: Yeah, I'll go, yeah, Andy: He's very happy but it's the wrong time. look, there it is. Richard: yes, the weekly flash. Andy: The old pink eye is a good boy, You showing everyone your pink eye? You good boy. Richard: So what else have I seen this week or this today that was vaguely interesting? Andy: There was a story that caught my eye. It was a boat in Colombia that sank in some choppy water and shockingly it wasn't carrying drugs. It flew everyone into a very choppy sea. The terrifying... The terrifying drama unfolds the coast of Santa Maria in Colombia. Dramatic footage shows one desperate holiday maker leaping off the vessel to save himself, probably leaving his family behind, as other passengers were struggling helplessly in the water. It was a Saturday afternoon sightseeing excursion, but it got out of control, with frantic onlookers screaming out instructions telling people to grab life jackets. That's pretty obvious. Richard: Yeah Andy: Doesn't look much like anybody was hurt. But yeah, there was another boat nearby, which is why we've got video and pictures of it. It's quite scary. Richard: Here's one for you which is a bit murdery bit but so there's a girl a woman in America she's 50 now Krista Pike and she's said to be executed in the next couple of days by lethal Andy: Yes. And she's... Richard: injection which is fucking hideous Andy: Yeah, and it's being performed by an all-women team as well, I believe. Richard: Yes, not that that's really going to help her very much, but... Andy: No, but I think it's... I'm not sure if that's a good precedent to set. Richard: Well no because she's the first woman to be, where are they Tennessee, she's the first woman to be executed in Tennessee for 200 years if it goes ahead. But I mean she was 18 and alright what her and her boyfriend did was pretty fucking bad. Andy: fucking what they did was disgusting. Richard: was absolutely yes it was appalling they intentionally went out their way to torture and murder a girl just for shits and giggles. Andy: And what makes it even worse for the feminists is that the bloke is not being executed. Richard: No! No no no no no he he just got I think he got a live sentence but but she's been sat there now. Andy: But she's had her life. This is 40 years ago. Richard: 31 years ago yes she was yeah but Andy: 31 years ago I stand corrected. Richard: but you know that's a long time to sit on bloody death row Andy: It's kind of average, it seems. Richard: Well yeah it is but the whole thing gets me. Why do they end up on death row for so fucking long? Either you're going to kill them you're not. It just seems that the whole system keeps an awful lot of lawyers in bloody good wages. Andy: Well, of course that's what it's for. It's the same as the British fucking legal aid system. It's just there to keep solicitors rich and healthy. Richard: Yes, but yeah, no, you Yes But you know the point one person was making Andy: we lost, can we appeal? Yes? Okay. I'll get some more money for that then. we lost that one as well. Can we appeal that? Yes? Okay. Good. Richard: was that you know in this day and age She would probably not get the death penalty may not even get life for doing what she did anymore Andy: Well, yeah, but that's apples and oranges, isn't it? Richard: Yeah. But, Andy: In that case, we better go out and resurrect a lot of people and just put them in prison for what they did. Richard: Yeah, you know I mean I always feel sorry for know somebody like well they're they're going to if they haven't already pardoned Ruth Ellis aren't they? Andy: Apparently so, yeah. Richard: Yeah, which I think is actually quite right because you know Andy: that reminds me. I don't know. You must have seen that Lucy Letby's been in the news. Yeah, Richard: no! Missed that. Andy: there's they did a documentary, The Sun and Channel 5, I think it was, Richard: Okay. Andy: did a documentary insisting that the case needs to be reopened and looked at. was all over the papers for a few days. So Richard: Okay. Andy: by way of jumping on the bandwagon, I'm releasing our Lucy Letby episodes this week and next week. Richard: Make brother Andy: on our Thursday slot. Do you realize it Richard: But I did see... Andy: was back in February when we recorded that? Richard: February this year? Okay, no. Andy: Yeah, I felt like it was only a few weeks ago. Richard: Yeah, the year has flown by. But I did see that there's a review, where was it? It's something like the Netherlands. A very, very similar case. I don't think it's quite as many babies, but again people are arguing saying that we don't think. that she could be responsible. There may well be medical conditions here that have been ignored for the, you know, let's go straight for the obvious. So on the basis of that maybe it stirred people up in this country to re-examine and make a bit of noise about her case as well. Andy: I mean, we covered in a program that we did that they opened the baby unit as the most serious level of care, even though they didn't have the manpower, all the facilities to cater for the most serious levels of care. Richard: Yes. Andy: So of course you're going to have fucking instances of death that are higher than national average because you're leaving like delicate care in the hands of nurses who Richard: Mm-hmm. Andy: worked to the bone. She was always on overtime, Lucy Letby. Richard: Yeah. Andy: Doctors are nowhere to be seen. When you've got Richard: Yep. Andy: a level one intensive care baby unit, there must be a consultant on call at all times, but there never was. Richard: It was, yeah. No, it was a shit show. Like so much of the NHS is these days. You know and I don't immediately blame the NHS. I mean what you do when you're trying to run something like that but you're seriously underfunded and seriously understaffed. But as a lot of people as we know about Lucy Lettby are arguing was that well you know it seems that the police and the government just went for the obvious answer. Andy: Yeah. Richard: Let's do her for it and then the problem goes away and nobody can say it was our fault. Andy: Yep. Richard: else have I seen? I saw a good one. A couple of lads in America and Florida have been arrested for going on a Lego stealing binge. Andy: Good boys. Richard: Yeah the two of them they reckoned something like 35-40 grand worth of Lego they nicked over a period of days and then had a police chase with the cops. Trying to get with... Andy: Was it in a Lego car? Richard: No it should have been shouldn't it? It should have been but it appears to have been in one of those rental vans. Andy: Where were they stealing it from? Richard: of various shops so you know yes Andy: right, okay, so it was all boxed. Richard: yeah absolutely yeah but they hit a Walmart for like you know three grand's worth they hit some other store for you know two and a half grand's worth but they've just yeah Nick and Lego left right and center and then they decided to diversify and went into nicking meat Andy: I mean, both of which are very saleable. Richard: Absolutely. But yeah, unfortunately, very good call. Andy: I have seen a few pictures in the paper over the last week of kids as young as five wearing balaclavas, nicking stuff from sweet shops. Yeah. Richard: Really? Andy: It seems like Richard: Hmm. Andy: the balaclava trend is starting from an earlier and earlier age. Richard: early age well you know it's i mean they're probably borrowing the baroclavas from their Andy: brothers. Richard: brothers or their fathers aren't they Andy: Yeah, all their dads actually sent them down, so it's about time you learned the family trade, mate. Richard: That is entirely possible as well in this day and age. Yes entirely possible. No again I believe it is illegal to wear a balaclava in public but nobody ever does anything about it. Andy: I don't think it is, they're trying to make it that way. They're trying specifically for protesters, Richard: Yes. Andy: which I'm completely and utterly against. Because Richard: Well... Yes! Andy: if you're going to make it illegal for protesters who are legally allowed to protest to wear a balaclava, then you have to make it illegal for anybody. to cover their face at any time, including Richard: Yes. Yes. Andy: our Muslim friends. You can't make exceptions because all you're going to do then is pour petrol on Richard: Yes? No? Yeah. Andy: the fire. Richard: But also private security firms and police. Andy: Yes. Richard: I saw the other day, I thought it was wonderful. I don't know how organized they are or whether it's all just different people doing it, but in America, there's guys putting on jeans and boots and flak jackets and shades and arming themselves and then going down and mingling with groups of ICE agents and then accusing actual ICE agents of being imposters. Andy: You Richard: until the whole thing just disrupts into utter chaos and then they slip away and leave actual bunch of ice agents to be arguing amongst themselves and I thought that was a good way of dealing with it Andy: Yeah, I mean, how can you have a law enforcement body that doesn't identify itself? Fuck off. That isn't law enforcement. Richard: Yeah. Yeah. Andy: That is your fucking black shirt army, you fascist dictator. Richard: Yeah, No, they're fucked. Andy: You are under martial law whether you know it or not. Richard: They've been doing it in Ireland now for a while. It started a few years ago. was a bunch of people took over a building in Dublin. Arguing that this building could be used as a housing project. Just reclaiming empty property. They were all dragged out of there kicking and screaming by a private security firm. in vans with no license plates all wearing Andy: No, no, I would have shot them. Richard: balaclavas while the police stood by and let them do this. Andy: No, no, no. Richard: And that's just so insane, it's so dangerous to allow people to start doing shit like that. Andy: No, that would have, if I had been armed and I was in that building, I would have unleashed. If you're going to come at me with balaclavas and unmarked cars, we're going fucking full nuclear. Richard: Yes, yes well I don't think any of them had weapons so that didn't happen but Andy: Well, there are no for next time. Richard: yes but no it's a dangerous precedent to you know I mean I get coppers and not every copper likes being in a riot I know some of them love it but not every copper likes being in a riot and they have families I understand that they don't want their families targeted as reprisals but it's becoming more more endemic now isn't it? I know there was a lot of problems for it but back in the miners strike a lot of those coppers were just photographed by the press photo goes in the paper everybody knows there you are that's my uncle Stanley the cunt bludgeoning somebody with a fucking truncheon and you know it did spark an awful lot of problems but at the same time I don't like the idea of police or any security force being allowed to you know go wading in with balaclavas on their heads because as we know from the anonymity of the internet it leads to trolling and all sorts of disgusting behavior being given a weapon or a baton and a balaclava Andy: Nobody knows who I am, I can do what I like. Richard: No, but absolutely and that's a very very dangerous thing. Don't like that at all. Andy: Well, I think we've covered a lot of topics. I think we should wind it up on wishing Madonna well. Richard: Okay, why do we need to wish Madonna well? Andy: She had a little bit of an issue at the VMAs the other night and she was headlining and halfway through her performance she was struggling a little bit and her backing dancers picked her up and carried her towards the front of the stage. I don't know if that was part of the act. She's 68 now, remember? Richard: Yeah. Andy: And when they got to the front of the stage they literally threw her, very waffly, to the floor! Richard: Okay Andy: The video of it is, mean, I don't want to say it's amusing because it is, but at the same time, as a 68 year old woman, it would be quite distressing as well because Richard: Yeah! Andy: your hips are likely to go crack in the wrong places. Richard: Why did they throw her? Presumably this is part of the act. Andy: I would imagine that initially she was supposed to be thrown and she was going to do some kind of superhero landing, Richard: Yeah! Andy: whatever. But you can see from the look on her face that she was struggling. And as they approached Richard: Okay. Andy: the throwing point, she was like, shit. I mean, they didn't throw her far. It Richard: Shit, okay. Yeah. Andy: was just like, whoomp. But it didn't look good. I hope she's OK, really. Richard: I remember years ago, went to see Ian Deary. Ian Deary and the Blockheads playing at the Andy: Hit me with your rhythm stick. Richard: King's Hall in Aberystwyth. Andy: good Lord. Richard: And yeah everybody knew he had polio. mean that was a well-known fact but the band came on stage and they started playing and then on comes this mountain of a black guy. who apparently was his personal assistant but he was huge and he comes on carrying Ian Deary in his arms Andy: Like a baby. Richard: like a baby and Ian Deary is like a third of his size you know so he looked tiny and everybody's like shit fuck is he that sick bloody hell and this guy gingerly puts him down and then the band kicks in and Ian Deary just starts dancing all over the place bouncing Andy: You Richard: around and everybody was like alright ok but yeah it was quite an intro Andy: I like to eat in jury. Richard: yeah, it was great. It great. It's something we don't have anymore. The music world doesn't allow for weird and wonderful... Andy: no, it's not Simon Cowell approved, it doesn't get recognized. Richard: No, I mean there's so many acts. you know, I'd forgotten about it for years and then we have it on a compilation CD in the car of sort of like Sampley's punk and new wave stuff but... Jilted John Andy: you're a bitch, you're a tats. Richard: Yeah I mean it's just you know that song would never exist now. Nobody would ever release that anymore. Andy: Yeah I know. I was going out with a girl, name was Julie. Richard: But it's brilliant. I mean a total one-hit wonder I doubt he ever made an album. Andy: yeah, I mean the whole idea, the song was called Jilty John, by Jilty John he had nowhere to go. Richard: John by Jill did John yeah Yeah, yeah, absolutely, but there is this you know it is a fucking great song and yeah, Andy: and shut up your face. I mean, stupid, ridiculous, Richard: Yes! Yeah. Andy: but you know, parents loved it. I hated it. Richard: Joe Pec... Joe... I was gonna say Pecci but he's the actor isn't he? It was Joe something... something the ridiculous Andy: No, it was Joe. Joe Bostromi or something ridiculous. Richard: flow there yeah Andy: shut up in your face. What's the matter you? Richard: Yeah and then do you remember and I'm in God alive it's hard to forget it but Clive Dunn grandad Andy: Grandad, we love you. Richard: Turns out he was only 42 when he did that. Yeah I know Andy: Fuck off, he looked about 112. Richard: I know but all the way through Dad's Army he was one of the younger members of the cast. Andy: Do you know my old man fixed his washing machine? Yeah, he was one of our customers in Camden Town. Richard: Did he? Nice! Just right yeah no I mean you had Frazier I think it was the old Scottish dude who really was old but Clive Dunne somehow spent a career playing old men even in his 30s he was getting cast as old man he just I don't know Summer had an old man's face which is very good at doing it Andy: I mean it's a good gig really because you can get typecast as an old man and then spend 40 years playing that. Richard: Yeah, he did! Yeah, absolutely! Andy: Yeah, well done Clive. Richard: Yes absolutely. So is there it? there nothing? there's one other thing. So they bought out a new cameras on the motorway Andy: yeah. Richard: and this camera can tell if your number plate is illegal or not Andy: Really? Richard: and they've discovered that there are tens of thousands of illegal number plates in this country. You can see them all every day when you're out and about. It's like so many of them are not legit. Andy: Yeah, but why would you allow the government to keep taking money out of your pocket? Richard: Yeah Andy: Of course you're going to get ways around, it, because the motorist is so heavily penalised in the UK. Richard: Yeah Andy: You're charged for parking, you're charged for filling up with petrol, you're charged for insurance, you're penalised for going 21 miles an hour, you're penalised left, right and centre. Richard: Yep. yeah yeah yeah. Andy: So fuck you, government. Richard: And I mean obviously you know congestion charges in many cities now. Yeah yeah yeah. Yep. Andy: yeah, you're charged to start the engine. You, you, you want to go into London? That'll be 40 quid. you want to leave London? Richard: Yeah. Andy: That'll be 40 quid. you want to go home? That'll be 40 quid. What is the fucking point of having a car these days? Richard: Well in many ways there isn't. Andy: No. Richard: But then a lot of people insist on, I mean you know here in Winchester there's perfectly good, would be perfectly good streets but the amount of cars parked on them now have reduced them from like you know nice tidy two lanes to one ridiculously narrow lane. Moving cars aren't so much the problem it's parked cars. They're Andy: Yeah. Richard: the fucking problem and you know people will drive 10 minutes to pay a fortune to park their car all day and then drive 10 minutes home from work afterwards and it's like well yeah Andy: Yeah, because they're fucking lazy. Richard: you should have walked that because it would probably only take you half an hour to walk here and you could do with the fucking exercise. Andy: Yeah, you wouldn't be such a fat fuck. Richard: Yeah. and you'd save yourself a fortune every year. And certainly I've been saying for years that if you live in zone one or two in London, you shouldn't legally be allowed to own a car. What do you need a car? Andy: I never had a car when I lived in central London, except Richard: what's the point? Andy: once when I had a company car. Richard: But... Andy: I certainly never bought a car. It wasn't until Richard: Nah. Andy: I left London that I bought my first Richard: and I used to work with the guy on the borderline Dave and Dave always drove to work he was always late because Andy: Yeah, because he couldn't park anywhere. Richard: couldn't find anywhere to park here after time he was parked up somewhere by Euston or you know up fucking miles away and Then Dave would always drink, was always bloody, was pissed when he drove home. But you know he'd be like, do you want a lift? I'm like, no thank you Dave because I've got to walk all the way to Camden just to get your car so that Andy: Yeah. Richard: you can give me a lift to Bleeding Greenwich so no let's not bother. But I worked it out one day, I made him sit him down, I said, right how much does it cost you to run your car every year? you know, insurance, tax, petrol, all of that and he came up with a figure and I worked out how much it cost me to use taxis. Andy: new one. Richard: Yes, not by a huge amount but yes, I won and without the headache of ever ever having a bleedin' worry where I'm gonna park the damn thing. Andy: or if you're going to get nicked on the way home for being drunk in charge of a vehicle. Richard: Yes, yeah absolutely. Andy: very much against Dreamtriving. Richard: Yeah me too, me too. I did it once. I really fancied this bird and I had been drinking but I stopped drinking at 11 o'clock when the pub shut. By this point it was 3 in the morning and she asked if I'd give her a lift home because she lived up the top of a very long steep hill and I thought I feel fine. I feel all right I give her a lift home. I got in the car and within yards I realized I'd made a massive mistake here because when I first got to the first junction where I had to stone stop I stopped way before the bloody line and I thought shit now my know my sense of perspective is out the window but I'd committed and so I indicated I pulled out and then I got followed by a cop car 30 miles an hour for two and a half miles until I was finally able to turn right into her estate and drop her off. longest two and a half miles of my bloody life. Andy: and you were clenching the whole way. Richard: God I mean I was so so careful with my driving. Thankfully it was fairly much a dead straight line up the hill. So all I really had to focus on was just not breaking the speed limit but not slowing down too much and then I left I left the car outside her house and walked home. I'm picked it up the following day. So yeah that was the only time I've ever done it and never do it again. That's a very very stupid idea. Andy: Well, on that note, we shall leave it there for today. So that's Richard: Alright, was that enough shite Andy: enough speaking shite for today. Thanks for sending in for Mark. I don't know when he's back. He'll let me know, I guess. I'm Richard: Yeah. Andy: hoping he's back to do this week's episode with me because I don't mind doing strange stuff on my own, but it's nice to have someone to insult as well. Richard: Yes, absolutely, isn't it, the whole point of the podcast? Andy: Yeah, I mean didn't do this just to talk to myself. So anyway, yeah exactly, and to Richard: No. No, you did it the slag off mark. Yep. Andy: organise a worldwide hate against him. Richard: It shouldn't be that hard these days. mean I've been trying to find out, I know you don't follow the Formula One but George Russell. Who generally seems just like a fairly nice chap but there's a lot of people out there at the moment who hates George Russell. Boo him at races and all sorts and the primary reason appears to be because he's just kind of nice. Andy: Yeah, you can't do that. No one likes a nice guy. Richard: but no but evidently it's not hard to engender world hatred for an individual just get get on tiktok instagram and facebook and you can have god you could probably start an anti-mark league and Andy: Yeah. Yeah. Richard: then and then spinoffs the the the Andy: Yeah, the League of Mark Antease. Richard: Yeah, yeah, well, who knows you may have a lot of aunties Andy: Anyway, yeah, Richard: Yep. Andy: that brings us to the end of speaking shite for today. Thanks for listening. I hope you learned something. Hope you enjoyed our little chats about shite. I mean, the hour goes really quick. I mean, we Richard: Tight, indeed. Yeah! Andy: can literally do this all day, every day. But I don't know how Richard: Yes. Well, we used to. We used to. Andy: entertaining it is for anybody else to listen to. That's the thing. Richard: Yeah, I this is true. If you've not had any feedback then... Andy: No, I don't. We get very little feedback about anything. Richard: Alright, well... Andy: My emails, I don't know if people just don't even realize that we have an email. You can email us at strange stuff podcast at gmail.com and leave us a comment or. Richard: There you go. couple of you let us know what you think of talking shite Andy: Yeah. Richard: because... Well unfortunately we are not in a position to just go down the pub and do it anymore. You're in Andy: No. Richard: the north of Sweden and I'm nowhere near you but... At the end of the day what we've just had was just a pub conversation. Yeah. Sitting over a couple of pints. Yeah. Yeah. Andy: A pup chat. Yeah, all we need is a couple of barmaids to flirt with and we'd be... can you imagine? A misogyny con... Then we'd get the comments. Then we'd get the fucking... You dirty bastard! What? She's smiling Richard: yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Andy: and giving me beer! What do want me to do? She's the ideal woman. Richard: Yes, indeed, indeed. Andy: Fuck you know I used to love a bar mate but that's a story for another day. Bye for now, see you same time same Richard: See you later! Andy: place next week. Don't forget Lucy Letbe story starts tomorrow on Thursday on Murdery Bits on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube and everywhere else. And we'll see you after that on Sunday for murdery bits on Patreon and strange stuff podcast normal. And then Monday, no Mondays recording day, I get lost. Then we'll see you again on Wednesday for more speaking shite. Loads of stuff going Richard: There we go. Andy: on. Have a great week. We'll see you. Bye for now.