speaker-0: can you imagine Ready to go. you die and you're speaker-1: All right. speaker-0: you know you're standing in There. at the throne room and he says, Hey dude, look behind speaker-1: You set? speaker-0: you. And you turn around and there's a hole. Look at all the stuff I gave you. Bro. Look at the stuff I gave you. And you're like, I had all that the whole time? Yeah, look what you did with it. It's on the ground, buried it. Okay. Okay. Right. speaker-1: All right. Well hey, first I wanted to start off with your your hat logo. speaker-0: Yoked. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. Can you explain a little bit about that, what that is and yeah. a bit more detail about it? speaker-0: Totally, man. I I give you the Genesis first. Okay. And so, you know, walking out of church, hearing a sermon that I've heard a million times, you've probably heard a million times about yoga's easy, burden is light. And for some reason that Sunday hit me a little different. And the the thought process was like, if I could just remember that I was linking arms and I wasn't carrying the weight alone, if I could just remember that, like life would feel a lot easier, you know? I shouldn't say easier, s more simple. And so yoked so the trademark and the brand was just like an outward expression of that. But the thing is crazy is that do you know do you know what the yoke even is? speaker-1: Explain it. speaker-0: I didn't exactly understand what a yoke was, right? So yoke links two oxen together. I knew that much. But for what? Like for what reason? Yeah and so it links a a junior ox with a senior oxen. For what reason? The senior ox trains the junior ox. how fast to go, when to stop, when to start, when to go left, when to go right. But it also it carries part of the load. And you would think it carries half the load. But it doesn't. It carries a disproportionate amount of the load. Because the junior ox is weak compared to the senior ox. So it carries a disproportionate amount of the load and it trains it, right? And so He says, Jesus said, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. And so it's not that there's not a burden and it's not that there's not any work, but it's just like t to me, the way that I hear it is like, dude, just be with me. Just link arms with me. Let's work shoulder to shoulder. And it'll be a lot more simple, right? And you can actually you're actually gonna be able to go farther faster than you ever could on your own. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And then what what do we do? we we unlink arms, we go to a different field, we try to plow something we never were meant to plow, and something that we can't possibly plow on our own anyways. And so that just to me was just a powerful reminder. Plus, what does it mean to be yoked? Right? It means to be strong. Right. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: So you think about like Jim Bro, I'm yoked, right? And you think about how powerful that is, and then you realize what it means and is you're like, wait, it's way more powerful than that. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Way more powerful than culture would tell you. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. It almost positions the person too to go like, okay, no, the person I'm supposed to be yoked with is even more strong and capable and prepared for the mission. Yeah. And like if I link up with him, how much better the journey will become. Now, how would you say how have you seen that it like just get in the the nitty and gritty of your business since you named it like where have you seen that kind of g has It's given you more vision. How has it given you more direction? Yeah. And how have you seen because you named something and you br you brought clarity to something, it evolved into the business? speaker-0: Yeah. How does it impact the day to day? Yeah. So yoked for me is really interesting because there's this I don't know about you I don't know about you. I don't know about you, but a predisposition to like remember it for a minute. And so everything I just did to explain what yoked means and how powerful it is, I can remember that now and an hour from now I forgot I forgot again. Right. And so it's a constant recentering. It's a constant remembering, wait a minute, nope, I'm about to do it again. I'm about to do it on my own. Right. With my own mind and my own power. And instead it's like, nope, okay, hold on a second. What do you want? Yeah. I thought I had a vision, but is this the next step? Or is that twenty steps down the road and there's actually something else that I'm supposed to be doing first? Yeah. And so for me, it okay. So you think about yoked and you think about what we talked about for burdens, it's so it's a lot lighter. So that's one way it's impacted me. It's like I don't feel like I need to figure it all out. This is not for Peter or Jeremy's to figure out on his own. It's like, no, no, no. We're doing it. We're co-laboring. Mm-hmm. To go back to yoke. It's like we're working together. We're working, but not on our own. We're working together. And so it's lighter. The burden's lighter because we're you're carrying it. But also it's clearer. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: So it's less, it's almost like it's it's less frantic, right? There's not, there's a lot less hurry about it. Because you're like, hey man, is this what we want to do? I've I'd like to move faster. But he's like, no, dude, chill. Right? We're gonna pull this palette, plow this slow and steady, right? Slow and steady wins the race. Yeah. And so then you start to get out and you think about what's cool about the about the the illustration of the yoke is like you try to get out in front, you can't. If you stay connected, you can't. physically, you cannot get out in front. I literally have to nah, I'm doing it myself. I'm gonna like I'm taking my neck out. I'm gonna do I'm doing my own thing. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. I find it interesting to where a lot of that is premeditated, of you can't just take that off. You have to think about, okay, I'm uncomfortable, I'm unwilling to move forward in this and then you start to like get the mind in the position to take it off. Yeah. Before you even take it off. And then you take it off and you you just start going down a wrong path. Yeah. Or a different path. And maybe it's it's a path that like leaves you empty, burnt out and we were talking the other day about how how much the people want some resolution in one area of their life, but usually it's it's these core motives or core beliefs that are getting in the way of their true purpose. Yeah. Can you explain a little bit of that? how much sometimes we might be trying to push towards something, but it's really a underlying problem. Yeah. speaker-0: I think what you and I were talking about is the surface level problems, Yeah. it takes me back to sitting in some rooms, hot seats in a group, you know? And they started making fun of me because I would do this almost every time. I didn't mean to, but you would be hot seating a resolution for somebody's business problem. And I s I would always sit back and be like, you know, there would be these solutions, I'm like, that's not it. that's not it. And it's not that the people that were proposing it weren't smart. It just to me, I'm like, this can't be the solution because the guy or gal sitting in the hot seat's way smarter than this problem. This is not this can't be it. And so inevitably I would raise my hand and they'd be like, here he goes again. Cause I'd be like, What's this really about? This is not about this, speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: it's about something else. And it's like 20 layers below the surface, speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: right? And so you think about weeds. And if your parents ever had you weed, my parents would have me weed. Yeah. If you went out there and just broke weeds off of the surface, it's gonna come back. That's gonna come back more, right? They're gonna multiply. You're spreading seeds and stuff. What did you need to do? You needed to dig it out from the root. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And so you think about the surface level issues, just the weeds, and it's like you gotta dig down and be like, What's actually happening here? Like, what does this mean? Yeah. And so if you think about the yoke, and I'd love your take on this too, man, it's like it is a conscious decision. To move in a different direction. I don't know if you're consciously realizing that you're decoupling from the creator of the universe and going on your own plan. I don't know if most people are consciously deciding to do that. but if you sat back and thought, like, wait, so why did I do that? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Well, it's just going too slow. Well, Jeremy, I want to go faster. This this plan's like too slow. What what what what's too slow? Who said it's who said it needed to go faster? Well, speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: I do. I want to go faster. Well, why you want to go faster? Because I'm afraid. what are you afraid of? Afraid I'm not going to make it. Afraid speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: it's not going to work out. Afraid this guy, this gal's going to beat me if I don't move it quicker or I'm going to lose the deal or I'm going to lose the opportunity. you're scared. Well, speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: what is that? it's a lack of faith. And then and then you start, so you dig in on that. So it's like the unconscious decision to decouple, but you're consciously moving faster in a different direction because you're in a hurry. But for what? Well I'm scared. it's because I don't believe. you don't believe. Let's talk about that. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, I was I was hiking what's that place called? Usemite what's what's the one in Yosemite, the the one with Half Dome? Half Dome. Yeah. So I was hiking half dome. And when I was doing that, there's a couple parts that the fear of heights came up. And and one of my buddies, he's this army ranger dude, and and he was next to me. He was like jumping all on sorts of trees and no fear at all. And like he saw me. He's like, Jeremy, you're not afraid of heights. You're afraid of falling. So just focus on your next step. And you'll be fine. And then that helped me. But then what started happening was the other people around me, they were not paying attention. The whole trail was all filled with people. And and that's when I started to have to go, okay, well, I'm having two problems. One, I guess I I'm afraid of falling. And then two, I don't trust the people around me. And and I had every right to not trust these people. Yeah. Because I didn't know them. Yeah. but as you're sharing that, like sometimes I think We might have the wrong definition of what we're afraid of in a moment. And if we actually change it to the right thing, then we actually can trust the process. And that goes for me back into fear is a lot of times attached to want. And if we can just be okay knowing like, no, you want this, you desire this. This is good. Yeah. And so if you can remove the fear to the want or to the desire, then it gives you a little bit more permission to go through the d discomfort to actually achieve it. Yeah. And and then then you can face the lies better and you can face the the roadblocks in in a more willing way. Do do you find that with your clients at all or speaker-0: It's good. I do want to ask you though before I answer, how do you do that? Yeah, speaker-1: How do I do that with the clients? speaker-0: what's that look like to decouple the fear from the want? speaker-1: Yeah. It's to bring clarity to their why. and first it's to say, hey, actually you really want this. And that's why you're afraid of losing it. And then once I help them to see that, then it's more about, okay, now that you see that you want this outcome, now what's the roadmap to get you there? That that then goes into the yoking. For for me at least, that's when I can walk with them well. Yeah. And to remind them and keep them on course. And then a lot of times every human deals with these habitual patterns that we might find ourselves with in that we might go back to. So it's like how do you help walk with them in that moment where they might deviate, you keep them on course. And I I think for me, that's the biggest thing I found in coaching is when if you're walking long enough and you built trust with them at the right moments, when they're ready to deviate, you catch it before they deviate and you keep them on course. And I guess that's the yoke again. Yeah. When you can kind of they're they're ready to go the the young oxen, like he might see a flower or something he wants to go towards and he's gonna jerk that way, but then he realizes, I can't. I gotta stay the course. And I think that's when you have a good coach or advisor in your life where they can keep you on the course. Yeah. Bring clarity to it. speaker-0: We were just talking at men's group this morning in John three. And I don't remember how we got on this topic, but you know, one in seven men, I don't know what it is for women, but one in seven men, they have not a single close friend. One in seven. Yeah. And so this military dude, ex military guy that's sitting next to me, he talked about how in the military, which I've I've never actually never heard this, you're required to have a battle buddy. I don't know what branch of the military this is. I'm talking on my rear end here little bit, but if if you're caught without your battle buddy, you're reprimanded. And that's the guy that's that is assigned to you and you're assigned to them that you go into battle together. You're in the foxhole together, right? And that's what you're talking about. It's someone that's gonna notice, dude, you're getting off track, or this is the mission that we're on, and you just you're about to deviate. Like we're we don't do that. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And then I go back to this one in seven thing and it's like, dude, you telling me one in seven guys doesn't have someone in their life that's gonna notice when you're getting off track? that's a disaster. speaker-1: Yeah. Right. And where does it begin? Yeah, I think it begins in the process of where we de we we basically compartmentalize our our faith, our our business, our relationships. And I show up to work in this manner, I show up to home in this manner, I I show up to church in this manner, but but they don't interact with each other. And then that's where we start to distance ourselves and then we even distance our friends because we're we're starting to put masks on. And we're starting to put performance on versus authenticity. Yeah. And and I think if we realize everything gets to form us, how beautiful could that unlock the future we want? Where it's like how how I struggle to love will actually unlock me to love better. And if I struggle to love in this, that's actually allowing me to press these uncomfortable positions in my life that will then return go into business. And it teaches me how to press past. maybe uncomfortable moments in business and then press into that. And then all these things can help us grow, but do we see the treasure of that or do we go, Nope, business, this is how I function, business. Nope, this is how I function in my marriage. This is how I function in this piece over here. Yeah. I think I think that's a piece of it. Would you say or speaker-0: Totally, man. This is why I hate the work life balance like phrase that went around forever and probably still goes around a little bit. I was like, what is this? This is no, this is this is how they all integrate. You're Jeremy at work, you're Jeremy at home, you're Jeremy in your community, you're Jeremy at the church, right? still speaker-1: You speaker-0: And so this is how they how well they all integrate. You know? And I don't know about you, but for me, when the blind are all blurred, that's when life's so fun, man. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. It's like, dude, is this ministry? Is this work? Am I it's what am I doing? I don't know. Yeah. I'm just being me. Right? Because we're gonna use our superpowers in all of these different areas and the line should be a little bit blurred. speaker-1: Yeah. It's takes I was just listening about this gentleman talking about the ragamuffin gospel. I forgot the gentleman's name that wrote that book. But he he's this gentleman that was a pastor later in life, became an alcoholic. And while he was there, he he had this moment where he was struggling at fifty years old. And when he was fifty, he like started drinking more and he had this moment where why can't I get past these vices that I'm dealing with? And he ha he was praying and heard God like he saw a a vision of himself sitting across the table from Jesus. And while he was sitting there, Jesus showed up and said, I don't need you to be anything else than you are today. I love you just as you are. And I think that's a underlying problem that most men deal with. I'm loved just as I am. Yeah. Not with what I can produce, not with how I can perform. It's I'm loved. Now with the crap, with everything, I'm enough. But how we've conditioned our life is to say, no, I have to prove that I'm worthy by these things I do. Works are good, but they shouldn't define you. They should be indicators of success, yes, but it is that your identity. And I think that's the piece that our generation, at least, our fathers, a lot of them didn't get to do that. And I mean, this goes back to the industrial age. And in industrial age, fathers were removed from the home. And when they were removed, mothers stepped in. But the fathers became distant. And even before that, a little bit with the wars. And the wars started to bring PTSD to the fathers. Yeah. And then the fathers were preoccupied. And and in that process, we didn't st we couldn't see a full picture of a father. We saw him leave to go to work. We saw him come home and and that's it. So of course we're gonna. bring this division within how we are formed, even in that model that we were given. So now how do we not give that to the generations beyond us? I think that's the thing that I'm wrestling with with a lot of clients is first, one is that, second is I've I've kind of fell into understanding something. And what I fell into understanding is if you build a good system, then you can start to figure out how do you help them stay the course to the system? And then when you take hundreds of people, then a thousand people and more, you start to see that there's moments in the journey that people drift. And if you can catch those moments, you can take them a little bit farther. And then the real breakthrough comes. And then you start to realize, like for me, it's like first week. Hey guys, just make it through your first week. I don't care how beautiful it looks. I just need you to commit to finishing it. Second week is about, okay, you you show that you can get this done. Week two. plan ahead. Now you're gonna start to see things come up. Week three, keep it super simple. There's these just meth like these rhythms that you can have someone step into that helps them stay a course. And then they start to see the results because now they're stacking and they're building momentum. Yeah. And then once they start to really believe in it, that's the biggest thing that I found is second thing I found is just building trust. How do you build trust? What are the anchor points that build trust? So when you need to challenge, you have permission and right to challenge them. Cause you've proven it to them. Yeah. And I think I I'm curious even in your coaching, how do you build trust with them that they're that you're able to challenge them in the right moments? speaker-0: Yeah. I think what's interesting about coaching is that by the time someone becomes a client you notice this too, there's a level of trust there already because otherwise they wouldn't have opened their wallet and committed some time to doing that. And I think that so here's what's interesting to me and I was talking to my wife Melissa about this today, is that and I we we do this in our parenting too. It's letting them know like I haven't arrived either. You haven't arrived either. Like you're a few steps ahead. And this is what you think about every day, right? And so to me, what's been interesting, and this is maybe a little unorthodox, it's like, here's what I'm learning for me right now. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And I might just be a couple steps ahead. And the only reason I'm even a couple steps ahead is because this is all I think about all day long. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: I'm reading books, I'm listening to podcasts. I am I'm learning also, right? And so to me, that sort of mindset, it displays a level of humility that's just like, I I haven't figured it out. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: I'm figuring it out alongside you. I've got some extra tools because this is what I do for a living. but I'm learning right alongside you. And so a lot of times is in l some of our coaching calls, I'll say, Hey, before we get started, I want to give you guys a little bit of insight of what the Lord's getting my attention on right now. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Here's what I'm learning. Here's what it means to me. This is what I'm doing about it. And so, it's maybe a l it's maybe a little bit more apprenticeship style format where it's just like, hey, you're gonna come alongside me. We're gonna we're gonna do this together and we're gonna roll our sleeves up. This is why some of our coaching is very much in frameworks and resources and toolkits and scorecards. And some of it's like, what's happening in you right now? Let's hot seat this thing. Let's find some solutions. So it's a little bit of both. To me, though, the trust is like the proofs in the pudding. And this is the same thing you have experience with. It's like they get some momentum. They're holy cow, hold on a second. This felt really bad. It's like me getting back into the gym. I'm like, bro, I did not enjoy that today. But I'm seeing some results. And I know how I feel afterwards. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. speaker-0: And I'm gonna come back tomorrow. I don't want to, but I will, because I really like the outcome. And so it's that momentum that you're helping clients build, Jeremy, right? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Where it's like, okay, I can see. And then and you're teaching them also too. It's like, here's why you didn't arrive here on your own. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Because it's uncomfortable and it goes against some of your natural tendencies. And let's root those out. speaker-1: Yeah. I think I spent my first half of my career making people codependent on me. Okay. Then I spent the second half of my career of learning how to help them have de p independence on their own to really take on the tasks. And that was that was such a insightful journey. Like I I had someone that that I started working for and he said to me, He was like, Hey, if they don't fit our model, I need you to turn them away. And before that moment, I I started to really catch that. I was just trying to help everyone, but not the right ones. Yeah. And then once I pivoted that to really vet them and pre-qualify them, that started to really pivot how I coached. But that's when I first started to really see transformation the most because before that I could help them in their fitness and that was it. I couldn't touch their their nutrition. Yeah. So I it was it was about how do I get them into the into that space with me to transform them. And I had a little bit of things that I could send them home with, but homework never really showed proof of the pudding. And then later I got to combine food and and then I started to get to impact their their mindset a little bit. And that started working, the life coaching and then the fitness and and I was like, but you know, there's this other component, which is their their health. How do I align their nutrition? Then I started to be able to do all three and that started to help. But then I was still stuck with them having to come and be in person with me. And and then COVID hit for me. And that was a beautiful moment because then I had to figure out how to turn everything I have online. And when that happened, then I started to have to ask different questions. How do I build a system that can that can pull them into a lifestyle that can help them, but without me being like there for them? And right around that time I got I had one of my first like clients that I got to just be fully in their life. daily calls, everything. And I got this gentleman to transform in ways that were incredible in a short amount of time. And leaving a destructive relationship, you know, leaving a job that was sucking him dry. And then g stepping into a new career, buying a home, finding his mate, everything. Wow. And it was incredible. And that's when I realized was there's something about some type of daily engagement. Yeah. And if you have that type of daily engagement, you can pivot someone pretty quick. And then the rest was just mind alter alteration. what is your perspective? What are you what's what's your narrative that you're living within? And that that change of narrative really starts to unlock them to go, wow, I've been believing something about me that is allowing me to be stuck in this pattern. And then when we switched that, that started unlocked more. And once I started seeing that, I started to be able to realize if we can attack their body, if we can attack their mind, then the last piece that like is that was so important to me is the soul. Yeah. And the soul is the thing that can if we actually put the right things in our soul, we actually get in alignment. And then life becomes purposeful and meaningful and significant. And that's the piece that I I think I found I love the most is When I attack the body, I'm just getting them prepared for the next phase. And that's kind of going back to what we were talking about earlier, is like, how do you get to the root? Well, sometimes you got to transform some of the things that are outwardly that they want. And then you really get to slowly connect them to the truth that you really need to unlock, which is the deeper things. Yeah. And but that's how you get to that permission to go, okay, it's time. And I think a good coach, and I want to hear your your input on this, is When do you know it's time to uproot some of the things going on in their life? speaker-0: That's good. I do wanna noodle on something real quick before we go there. First I wanna know, tell me about Zoy. Like speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: what does that mean? Where did that come from? actually let's start there. speaker-1: Yeah. so Zoe it was taken, so I I was like, What's next? You know, and living Zoy. So Zoe in Greek is life. Life to the fullest. And I early on I found myself not having mentors in my life and just not having a father in my life. So a lot of things were new, a lot of things were vulnerable, and and I compromised a lot. And I found myself in the wrong crowds, everything. I found myself really learning how to numb. And that took me to live a life that was compromised. And then I got sick, I got injured, got in a car accident and started how to rebuild my life. So I felt what it was like to kind of not have what you want and then starting to rebuild. And then I started to discover how compromised I was and how that was minimizing life. And then when God came into my life, that started to really re rif show so much more of what can be done. So that then it first was healthy habits. And that was a fitness nutrition company that kind of was about accountability. In that process I was transforming their life so much more that then I pivoted my program and wanted it to be about total life. And that's when I niched myself towards high performers and when I was serving high performers I started to see they built these things, but they started to slowly compromise different parts of their life. And they started to live in a way where they had these undertones that would slowly speak up. And you can hear it in their language. Maybe I'm a little tired. Maybe you know, I I don't want to go to the doctor right now. These things that are just they're hiding from something. And then that's when I realized, man, they were just compromised like me. And then when I started building businesses. I was craving community of like-minded men to run with. And what I found was they're dealing with the same thing. And this really first started when I went back to school. And I went back to school for my undergrad. I was burnt out. And I was surrounded by all these pastors that were burnt out just like me. And I was like, I'm not alone. And that's when I was like, okay, well, how do we solve this? And then that's when I pushed into my masters to care for leaders. And then I started to realize. Now I'm serving some of the top guys in the world and they're struggling with some of the same things I was struggling with. They just don't have anybody in their corner that's trustworthy. And if we pivoted those guys, what happens? Like that, yeah, they're light years ahead of me in some areas, but I just spent at that time over eight years of study in like the soul. And so I was able to help them connect the dots. And then then they started living life to the fullest. And then then I'm just getting all this information back of saying, man, I've been settling that I didn't even know it. I've been so focused on building businesses that I didn't know I was settling and compromising these other parts of my life. Now, how do I get back on track? And usually one of the first things they compromise is their food, their health. Yeah. So that's an easy thing to fix, but it takes high accountability. And so that's usually the first thing I fix in their life. Bring energy, bring capacity. Bring a new framework of their what are you selling for? What are your yeses? What are your no's? And that helped to then build the next the next sector of the business is when it's like, okay, let me bring other men that are doing this like them in the same like they're carrying the same weight. And they look across the room or even across the Zoom or wherever I place these guys and they're going, He's just like me. He's struggling with the same things. And we all are trying to we gotta take these masks off and be known in this. Yeah. And as we do, we can grow. So that's how Living Zoe was birthed was so much more to life that we're selling. And we don't even know we're compromised. Yeah. And it it starts with our belief system, starts with a motive. And that's that's the thing I I find it's like your motive, how you react is showing something. Let's pay attention to that. speaker-0: Yeah. This good. Yeah. No, anybody's been around me more than three minutes will hear me mention Jamie Winship, Living Fearless, and that whole mindset. But, you know, they've got a framework that we were trained on that goes truth tell, mind change, form change. And so speaker-1: Say that one more time. speaker-0: truth truth truth tell, mind change, form change. And basically it's like Getting to the root of it. So we talked about the weeds down at the roots earlier, getting it to the root, and then you un you you you dig that out, right? And so it's you root it out. And so you you identify it and then you're you're truthful with yourself. You're like, Yeah, this is like you're talking about like I've compromised here. Right? So what did G.I. Joe say? Knowing's half the battle, right? It's like you pointing it out and then them being like, Yeah, that's a problem. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Which is hard actually. I think a lot of people will fight tooth and nail to defend where they're at and Jeremy, you don't understand, man. this is what it takes to run a business like this. I can't be eating really healthy and getting to the gym. that's not gonna happen. And you're like, Really? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: What about this over here? What'd you do last night? you watched you remember that series you talked to me about that's got eight season and forty seven episodes? what about when then? you could watch that, but you couldn't so it's like getting someone to tell the truth. And so in our home, we're really big on truth telling. And it's speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: not that we're liars. Well, there's little white lies or we're like skirting around the issue. And it's like, no, no, what's the act what's the truth? Don't defend that. Yeah. What actually happened? Yeah. And then when you can tell the truth, then you can change your mind about it. And then there's actual form change. you can actually act it out. So somebody who's eaten unhealthy, they admit that they have not been doing well. And then they change their mind about it, saying, Actually, I do have time. I could do it here. I am gonna actually make a decision to get healthier and then they end up in the gym. speaker-1: Yeah. Right? Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. And what you're talking about, you were talking about earlier about working backwards or working from the from the weeds down to the roots. It's like you think about it, it's happened to me in the last eighteen months. It's like, wait a minute. I started making it to the gym and then miraculously I start eating better. Why? 'Cause I'm like, I like the results and that was really hard work. I'm probably not gonna eat this candy bar 'cause then that's gonna negate everything I just did. And that was really sweaty, right? And then you start working down. speaker-1: Yeah. Yep. I I always tell clients, this is I find this is super important. You never go a hundred percent in your fitness at first. You you're gonna be left where you can't even get off a chair. Yeah. But what you can start with is you can go a hundred percent with your food. And and then the fitness though, you wanna you wanna gradually bring that into your your calendar. So find the time that works, give reward to that and just get going on it. And make it small, make it achievable, make it so so ridiculously achievable that you do it. Over time you you pick up the the time there. Yeah. But the thing you really want to pay attention to is like commit to the food. That's gonna be the hardest thing to do and that's gonna be the biggest reward that you'll ever receive, especially if it's the right food that you eat. And and when you're dealing with guys that don't have time, that are high, that are running big businesses. For me, what I found is you have to be strategic with the food. You have to keep it super simple. And every choice you give them has to have massive reward and massive dividends to it. So they see they see the impact, but it has to be clear and simple that they can bring into their life that helps them to go, okay, no, this is actually giving me more energy. This is giving me more focus. It's reducing the inflammation I'm under, I'm less tired. So then there's quicker reward. But that's the first thing I tell people is hey, fitness is really important. That you gotta pr like build the muscle, protect the muscle. Then but the key is you gotta feed it. And muscle's the only thing that burns calories. So you wanna feed it, build it, protect it, everything. But how do we get there? And that's the thing you're talking about. And while you're talking, I was just thinking about there's some programs out there that inspire people and even give them truth, but then it's like, hey, I'll see you in three months. Yeah. Here's your roadmap. Go do it. And they come back and they just get in this cycle of confession every 12 weeks, but they're going nowhere. Yeah. And the question is why? Well you don't have intentional accountability. Yeah. And I think that's the a big piece of this journey is like intentional you gotta be intentional with your your transformation. So is it habit stacking What is it that's gonna help you if you're unwilling or unable to pay for a coach? What's gonna or advisor or somebody to hold you accountable? What it what can you do to keep you accountable? And that has to be daily, that has to be multiple times a day, depending on what you're trying to accomplish. Have you noticed that? Or how do you help your people to step into that transformation? speaker-0: It's funny because I used to always joke that I still do. Inspiration is not interesting. It is not interesting to me. Yeah, you'll be inspired when we have conversations, when you're in the group and you're hearing stories, and I'm on my soapbox late, I like to get on. But that's if it stops there, this is not interesting to me. Like if speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: you were inspiring your clients, Jeremy, and then they showed up the next week and the next month and they they're in the same health position. I don't know. I'm I'm pretty dang sure that's not interesting to you. And so, because the th the thing that's interesting to me about coaching is like you're helping somebody live out their true potential. Right? If you think about the parable, the talents in the Bible, like want to be a five talent while living out your your purpose on this earth, right? So speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: like you're a five, you want to be a five talent helping other people be a five talent. We can't do that if there's not transformation. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: It's not working, right? And so, so transformation over inspiration is always the key. I'd rather be less inspiring and more transformative, or if I want to have both, which I do, like my cake and eat it too. And so what works for us is we bookend every single session with accountability. Like at the end, it's like, cool, you said a lot of cool things. You had a lot of takeaways. That's awesome. What are you doing about it? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Between now and next call, what are you gonna do? Right? And we've got our fully custom LMS, and so it reminds them, right? They've got daily and they have weekly reminders. It's like checking in. You said you were gonna do this, how did it go? It's not did you do it? How did it go? And then on the next call, when we start, it's like, hey, before we go into it, hey bro, you said you're gonna do this. Hey, you said you're hey, you said you're gonna do this. How did how's it going? And there's what's cool about High performing leaders is no one wants to show up and say, I didn't do the thing. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Nobody. Yeah. And if you do it once, you probably won't do it again. Yeah. Because it feels bad. Right. speaker-1: Yeah, right. speaker-0: But it's like, it's not and it's not being shameful. we're not shaming people. It's just like, hey, this is what you said was important. You didn't do it. How come? Is it not important anymore? That's that happens sometimes. But a lot of times, I let this get in the way. Okay. So what do we do about it next time? Because we need transformation. Yeah. Otherwise, just quit now. why what are we doing? We're wasting each other's time. I've got a dear friend that's a marriage coach and he he'll tell a client, like, hey, I got a line out the door. Like, are you committed to this? Cause if you're not, you can leave. I got like I got people that are in desperate need of help that I can't help right now. So are you serious about this? Cause if you are, let's get moving. Let's do this thing. Yeah. What is it for you? speaker-1: Man, you nailed it right there. I think it's it's the pain, the pain of the transformation. Like what what do you want? I call it a sober why. So there's a heart why and there's a fear why. If you dive deep into both of those far enough, then you get to your sober why. So like it could be on the fear why. It's they saw their father and mother in the hospital bed on all these medications, fragile, having no life the last years of their life. And they're like, I'm afraid I'm gonna become that. And you can't get to that quickly. Usually it's like you got to ask one question that then well, you wanna be healthy. Well, why why do you want to be healthy? Well, I I wanna be someone that's like vivacious later on in life. Well, what what is it about being vivacious at life that that matters to you? And then you just keep diving deep into those whys about the fifth, sixth, and seventh, you're gonna get to the true trueness of your why. And same thing, you do that on the heart. it's like I want to be a grandfather that can be sitting in his rocking chair, seeing his grand grandchild running towards him, get off my chair and run towards him and pick him up, throw him up in the air, wrestle with him on the ground and and like be that type of grandfather. That would be my heart why. So when you bring those together, you get a sober why. But then that sober why should start to help you to dictate what am I doing now that helps me to get there? Greatest thing that I found for myself, my future was never really clear to me. And that was a big wake up call. I didn't really have vision in my life. And that's the one thing I struggle with is long term vision. Yeah. My dad died when he was 31. And so around 29, 30, it really hit me when I passed my dad. And that that was a big moment where when I did, I realized I was living for the moment. more for my future. And so that's something I've had to overcome is like, okay, no, I'm gonna have a future. I'm gonna have kids. Am I am I living a life that shows that longevity in mind? And a lot of times I don't. Yeah. And that's that's the thing I I keep reminding myself and encouraging myself to stand in more is like, what's my long game? How is my long game impacting my short game? And and sometimes I don't do that enough. And that's and And of course we don't, right? We're pouring into so many people and that's where we get out of alignment. And one of my mentors, he said this to me. He's a big time dude. He has thirty-eight businesses that he runs. And at the time, I was like overseeing a helping oversee a missions organization and I was chaplain and stuff like that. So I was freaking out because I had thirty leaders launching three new locations. I had about thirty more leaders there. And then the the sports chaplaincy position I had, I had roughly a hundred surfers that I was supposed to engage with and and community around it. So for me it seemed like a lot. Yeah. And for him, it's like, cakewalk. Yeah. But he said, Jeremy, every every six weeks he has to take a half day. And he asked the question, who's pulling on me and who should be pulling on me? And that really like helped me to kind of see how much like our rhythms can get in our way and how we need to pause sometimes and ask the question, Am I in alignment or am I not? Am I fulfilling my roles or am I not? But it's human not to. It's human to get out of alignment. So why don't we give time to those things we really desire and want? If we're not giving the time to the things we desire or want, well, guess what creeps up? Is the fear because the greatest things we want are being threatened. So how do we get back to that? Do you find that at all or speaker-0: I think that it's it's so slippery. Right. And six weeks is really interesting. that's pretty frequent. And it makes a ton of sense because it doesn't happen in a like in a lightning bolt sort of moment. It happens gradually. Right. It's like, you know, I used to have this no meetings on Friday rule. My Fridays were clear. And then as I transitioned to the new chapter, I'm like, Friday morning, I can, you know. Before you know, my Fridays were jammed. I'm like, how the hell did I get here? You said there's no meetings on Friday rule, just sl slowly, man. And so I love the idea of checking in every six weeks and just being like, All right, what's pulling on me? Yeah. That's awesome. speaker-1: It woke me up. That really woke me up because I started to see there's guys that or people that were pulling on me that really were preoccup preoccupying my time, kinda like you were saying about your therapist friend. Yeah. It's like there's people over here desiring my time and I'm not giving it to them because I'm giving it to you. Yeah. Is that time actually being utilized? Or is it being wasted? And that came back to my own coaching was after that that showed up again. in my life when it was when I started to I needed to pre qualify the people and keep pre qualifying them and say, Hey, if we're gonna work together, this is what I expect. Yeah. If not, there's some other people that are desperately wanting that. Mm-hmm. And that really pivoted everything. Yeah. But we gotta show up and and call that out. speaker-0: Absolutely, man. And the thing is it's what's interesting is it's there's a difference between nice and being kind. Nice is just accepting all the clients, saying yes to everything. That's nice. That's not kind. Right. And so for you to harbor a client that's not seeing transformation when there's ten more people that desperately need it and they're gonna be committed behind them, that's not a kind thing to do. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. Right. speaker-0: It's also not kind for you to ignore someone who's phoning it in. And instead you can be like, hey. Listen, are you still into this? Cause I'm not feeling it. I don't feel like you're committed to it. Yeah. do you actually want to do this thing? And then they can make a decision. And there's no right or wrong. It's like, hey, just pick a lane. You wanna double down? Awesome. You don't, then we're we'll have to part ways because I've got ten other people that wanna that are chomping at the bit to get in here. speaker-1: Yeah. Greatest purpose of that though, what I love is if they commit, what happens to them? They become someone with a testimony of impact and transformation. That then can then unlock another person to even more lives. And that unlocks even more lives. And that's what happened. What I love is one person changed, that unlocked another three people's lives, that then unlocked people on the East Coast lives. And then those people transformed and that unlocked another person. And then that's just started what nobody knew was one person in California that started with me, unlocked somebody in Florida, that then unlocked somebody in Tennessee, then unlocked a group of people in Tennessee, that then unlocked even more over in New York and Texas and and it just started jumping all over the US. Yeah. And like talk about the radical implications of one person. Living a life of transformation, what it can do and inspire somebody else, that inspires somebody else. And then it can just jump all over the place. Yeah. Do we know that? Do we really speaker-0: Like disciples. speaker-1: like disciples? Yes. If if you are on fire, you'll catch people on fire. Yes. If you're not on fire, you're not gonna catch anybody on fire. speaker-0: Yeah. I love that man. speaker-1: So we we were talking earlier about the the parable of the talents. And that passage just has wrecked me over the years. so I want to read it to us and then we can kind of dive into some of the points. Let's go. it's Matthew twenty five, fourteen. and I'm gonna read through it and then I'll I'm gonna go back through it. But it says again, it'll be like a man going on a journey who has called his servants and entrusted hit his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold. To another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work, and and grain and gained five bags more. So also the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid it hid his master's money. After a long time the master of his servant returned and settled the accounts with them. The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. Master, he said, you entrusted with with five bags of gold, see I have gained five more. His master replied, Well done and good and faithful servant, you have been faithful with few things and I'll put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness. The man with two bags of gold also came. Master, he said, you entrusted me with two bags of gold. See I have gained two more. His master replied, Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things, and and I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness. And then the the man who had received one bag of gold came, Master, he said, I knew that you are a harsh man, a hard man, harvesting where where he has not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and I went and I went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you. I want to stop here and I and I'm gonna go through it again, but The key thing, there's things that I try to highlight in this passage that I think is so good. Yeah. First the first thing that he talks about is I'm gonna give you these these bags of gold that are representative of of your of your expertise at this time that I find you. Yeah. The thing that that I find that's so fascinating about this parable is the master leaves and he comes back at an undisclosed time. The the two people that had the same story, the man with the five bags, the man with the two bags, what's really unique about those two is they both came with the same expectation. Okay. they both said the all three said see. So I was like, that's interesting. Look let me look at the Greek of of what's behind that. It's see or behold that like a lot of the translations use. But I looked into it and the first two had a an eagerness To to show the master what they'd done. Yeah. The third had timidity and fear to him. So I was like, okay, that's interesting. So the first question I have for people is like, if somebody comes to you and says, like, how are you doing with what's been entrusted to you? If you're excited and eager to share, you're in the right posture. Yeah. If you're fearful or or timid about what you're doing and you're not doing anything with it, that should be a major concern. That should be a major red flag for you. You should see why you are in that position. What I love about the first two is what does the master say? Well done and good and faithful servant. And when I heard that, so it's like, okay, so we're called to multiply, we're t called to govern, we're called to do these things. The master is showing us what we should be doing with what's been entrusted to us. But what I love right after that is what he says. And he says, right after that, he says. cu well done, good and faithful servants, come and enjoy my happiness. and so that word stuck out to me. And I was like, Okay, what's what is let me look in the Greek of this word happiness. It wasn't saying like, come be like like joyful and yay yay with me. It's like, no, come and do the things that produce joy with me. And and like what we're called to just live out of. And that that really like struck me. And and you see the last person. When he buried it, the master didn't go and say, come and enjoy my happiness. He called him some stuff. Yeah. Right? And and I think that's something that we have to pay attention to because if if we do that, he says this, he says th his master replies, You wicked, lazy servant, you knew that I I harvest where I I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed. Well then you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers. It's it's just saying, why are we wasting what has been given to us? It's like that's not our our posture. Yeah. And I think that to me really has like struck me in a lot of ways is the first thing is Am I if if somebody comes to me that it has entrusted me with something, if my master comes to me today and says, like, Show me what you've done with your life. I should be eager to say, look at what I've multiplied, look at what I've done. And and even in like personally, I don't I don't mean to boast in this, but I I've impacted a lot of people. Yeah. But there's moments where I don't even see that as valuable. Where I see my current situation say, I'm not doing enough. And that's where I even need to check my heart in it, because I think that's something that gets in the way so much as our our own belief system, our own being hard on herself. And for me what that communicates the most is where am I finding my joy? Where am I finding my happiness? Mm-hmm. It's not in the master. It's in my outcomes. In the current moment outcomes. Yeah. Not the significance of what's happened over a lifetime. Found myself like a couple of weeks ago driving past a home I lived at twenty years ago and just going, Man, the man that I was then like who I am today is so different. So so much more secure in who I am. Yeah. But we have to walk through life to become the men that we're called to be. Mm-hmm. But so often we don't. And and so that that's just something that was really hitting me while I was reading this pat passage is it's easy to neg negate so much of what we've done, but we shouldn't live in the past either. But we should look with the right lens of today. How are we taking what he's given us and multiplying it and governing it? And do we take that with sincerity? 'Cause if we do, then we'll be living in the right place of our life. Yeah. How does that passage hit you at all? speaker-0: Good. I always I'm like constantly saying, I want to be the five talent. I I want to hear well done, good, and faithful. Can you imagine hearing wicked? that's gnarly. Right. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. speaker-0: And so the the the thing that's interesting, like you said when you read it, I you know the Bible's crazy because you could read something a hundred times and then you're like, I swear that wasn't there. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: You said according to his skill set, what did you say? speaker-1: Yeah, it's in the very beginning. It said to one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags and to another one bag, each according to his ability. speaker-0: Okay, so let's stop there just for a second. How does he know that? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: So this is they've demonstrated, right, their level of expertise. So the one talent, he's already demonstrated that he kind of sucks, right? And so if you think about that for a minute, it's like, wait a minute. You either haven't proven yourself, so you're just super green, didn't have seen that way though, just as I heard it. I heard it more so like. I don't know. I'm gonna give this guy a bag, but so far he's been frittering away his life, right? But we'll see, we'll give him another chance. And so, like talking to clients, or even I mean, specifically, I'm thinking about my kids right now, is reiterating to them like, hey, when something gets entrusted to you, you want to go above and beyond. Right? You want to show yourself capable, not just of the bare minimum, but like, hey, I I saw this, but I also saw these other things. This guy. No. He's like, I've given one bag. It was almost like a charity thing. maybe this time he'll finally do something with it. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Right? And he just proves him right in the end. But speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: you think about also, and I think about scarcity mindset. I think about people that are victims, right? They have this victim mindset. What does he say at the end? I know that you're a what? You're a harsh taskmaster. What does he say there? speaker-1: Yeah. He says, Master I he said, I knew that you are a hard man harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. Yeah. So I was afraid and went out and hid your your gold. speaker-0: Yeah. His posture, this is straight victim, right? I haven't really thought about this till we read it. He entrusted him with a bag of gold. So you go you walk out of this building today, somebody's like, Hey bro, here's some gold. Would love to see what you can do with it. You could be what? You could be like, shoot, I don't I don't know. I I don't know what he's gonna do. I I maybe I was gonna bury it in the ground, or you can be like, dude, you just give me a bag of gold? Yeah. Let me show you what I can let me you what I can do. Let me show you what I'm capable of. I've never invested a bag of gold before, but I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna learn, I'm gonna figure this out because what a cool opportunity. That was not his posture. Right? So he was operating from a state of fear, right? And not faith. He was operating from a state of scarcity, right? And so what he did, he just buried it in the ground. And the sir, and the and the and the master comes back, he's like, bro, you could at least put it in the bank and got some interest. You didn't speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: even think to do that. So this guy's not even thinking clearly. Because he's not looking at this as an opportunity to succeed. He's not looking at it as an opportunity to grow. He's not looking at it as an opportunity to prove himself. And instead he's like, no, man, freaking me out. I don't really know. I'm gonna put it in the ground. speaker-1: Mm. speaker-0: And then what happens in the end of that parable is it gets that even that one bag, got speaker-1: Yes. speaker-0: a two and a five. Even the one, he's like, pfft I'm not d give me that thing. He gives it to the guy with a five. Right? He's like I this is you're you're wasting it. I'm not that's not I'm not gonna entrust that to you. speaker-1: Yeah. That's yeah. speaker-0: Should freak people out. you've got some skills and are you burying it in the ground? What are you doing with it? speaker-1: Yeah. Right. speaker-0: I don't I always I I always tell the clients and friends, I'm like, can you imagine you die and you're you know you're standing in at the throne room and he says, Hey dude, look behind you. And you turn around and there's a hole. Look at all the stuff I gave you. Bro. Look at the stuff I gave you. And you're like, I had all that the whole time? Yeah, look what you did with it. It's on the ground, buried it. Dude, speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: I ne that's so gnarly. speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. as I sit with that, one one thing I was just sitting with is think of it this way too. Back then, there's less things distracting people. And now we got a lot more things trying to call our attention and our time. So we should take this even more serious. We should take this concept even more in a in a way of saying, okay. Well, if I've been giv if I've been entrusted with these skill sets, I have Netflix, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, whatever your whatever your is on your phone, and your phone even, demanding of your time that's distracting you from multiplying what's been given to you to multiply. Are you utilizing those tools to magnify? Are you using those tools to distract? And I think that's a bigger p piece of question, even with A AI or now it's called SI, right? It's like, how are you using that tool? Is it helping you to multiply or is it helping you or is it distracting you? how are you using it? and I think everything that we have, are we magnifying our opportunities? Are we being distracted? And I think that's a big one. Sometimes like when we have a lot of deals on our plate, it's very easy to just get distracted with The deals with the calls with all this, and and then we lose the momentum that we're called to have. And and I think each season calls us to a different opportunity, but we have to stay engaged and intentional. Yeah. And that that's something that I find that we don't always we we dismiss really quick. Yeah. Is phone calls that that we find urgent that shouldn't be urgent. We set our schedules up in a way that distracts us vers versus allows us to be the best version of us to step into the moments that we're called to. It's that quick that we can get out of alignment. But also, sorry, I don't want to say it's that quick. It's our subtle compromises that allow things to creep into our calendar, creep into our schedule, that get us out of alignment. When it is happening, then we give excuses to it. We give opportunity to it. and that's where I don't know about you, but I I used to smoke cigarettes when I was younger. And to kick that, that was a like a part of my French, but it I'm not gonna say it right now, but it's it it sucked, right? But what I had to face was it I didn't just start smoking overnight. That was one time I had a cigarette, then maybe a couple weeks later I had another one, and then I attached a moment to it where somebody offered it, so now I'm cool guy. Smoking a cigarette, and then then I had it again, then I had it again, then then it shifted from being the cool guy, maybe that was still there, but then it was like, Well, now like this is helping with stress. Like, man, I'm hungry. I'm gonna go have a cigarette. no, I'm not hungry. I started to replace and put this in and connect it to different moments in my life. And then it was just a part of my story. And it was became a part of my identity. And then to shift that, you had to interrupt all of that to quit it. And you can't play cold turkey. It doesn't work. Right? I mean, sorry, you don't you can't just do it like half halfway. You have to go cold turkey. Sorry, is what I meant to say. And when you go cold turkey, you're confronted with a lot of things of all these habitual patterns that I've built. But then when you kick it and you you're done with it and you you get your energy back. You get your focus back, you get your time back. How incredible life begins to become again. Yeah. And I that's the most incredible thing I have I've experienced. That and like when I let go of drugs and I started pursuing health, it's like I was settling and I wasn't as strong, I wasn't as focused. Then when I started working out and eating right, my energy came back in ways that I never experienced. my body started to show th show muscles that I never knew I could have. it wasn't just a six pack, it got down to even an eight pack, and it's like, dude, I I am shredded. This is amazing. it's some of those things aren't at like, you know, can't keep forever. Yeah. but the thing is, like when you are in alignment, you feel the difference. Yeah. And I hope I hope that alone is something that challenges people that We are compromised more than we realize. Yeah. And if we can get into alignment, we're we're meant to live life. There there's a guy named Dallas Willard who passed away. He used to come to my school and and teach once in a while. And one of the things he said was, like, what is the gospel that Jesus preached? And I was like, huh. He always he's very intentional with his words. So when he said, What was the gospel that Jesus preached? Well, what was Jesus preaching? And that is the kingdom of God is here and now. We get to enter in and live in. So what's what's the significance of that? we get to bring these things of heaven, this fullness of of all that we're allowed to have here and now. Yeah. In our lives and the lives that we touch. And I know you've done this and I've done this, but when you bring those things to people and you let those truths invade people's lives, they come alive maybe for the first time. And they they finally have permission to have a fullness of life show up in their life. And they go, I can have this. I can be loved in this way. I can I can exude this. I never knew I could. Yeah. And that I think is incredible to give that to people. speaker-0: Well, and it's one of those things where it's like what's what could be more important than that? Mm-hmm. So my wife's been doing some listening prayer sessions and she's having the kids come and w one of my sons was like, Yeah, I don't know, like I've got work and you know. And so I'm chatting with him, I go, Well just you know, what's the hesitation? He's like, Well, I only get a couple of days off and and I'm like, Well so can you tell me what would be more important? He's like, what do you mean? I'm like, what? So learning to hear from God more clearly is up against what exactly? You know, we just started laughing. Like surfing? Well hanging out with your homies? Like, I don't that doesn't really line up, you know? And so, and in one of these listening prayer sessions, there was a, you know, young man that I know and got to hear from God for the first time. And he's like, man, my parents talk about hearing from God, I've never really heard. And this is the first time I had this experience where I felt like I like I heard clearly. And so there's there's really nothing more important. And so if we want to step into conversations about leadership and identity and really talking about that, I mean, I think that there's this this quote from Michelangelo, Statue of the David. You know, it's something that awesome had never been done before, right? And maybe even not really done since, I don't know. But He's getting interviewed and they're like, How'd you do this? This is amazing. And he says something to the effect of it was simple. I just had to chip away what wasn't the David. It was in the he was in the marble the whole time. And so I think a lot of that stripping away of lies for truth, understanding how to hear. I mean, that's just that's just unlocking potential that was already there. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And and it really lines right up with the parable talk, with the the the parable of the talents we just talked about. It's like they're there. speaker-1: Yeah. Can you break apart this concept of every leadership ceiling is attached to ident an identity ceiling? speaker-0: Yeah. So thought process behind leadership, you know, hitting that ceiling and identity. I I think that at least for me and the clients that we have served, a lot of the times, there's a tension of whether you're in the right seat or even on the right bus. Mm. And so for me, you know, I was in e com forever, right? I'm like the old guy in the e com space. And I always felt like something was just incongruent. And so, I met my now wife when I was just starting the first e-com company. And every couple of years I would say something like, I don't know, man. I just feel like something's off. Like I was meant for something greater. And not like more more successful financially, not more famous, none of that crap. It just felt like, I don't know. I just feel like I'm like digging the wrong hole or I'm using the wrong tool. I I don't really No. And it was like every couple of years I would have this sort of crisis. And finally she's like, You need to do something about this. It's getting kind of annoying. And she doesn't talk to me like that. She's kinder than that. This is how I hear it, right? speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And and so I start getting coached, and you know, a friend of mine, he used to run Zappos with Tony Shea, and I'm sitting with him and I'm lamenting like I did every couple of years. He's like, Peter, it's so simple. Like What are your superpowers? What do you want the work to look like? What do you want the incentives to be? Right. This is, not we're not out of a spiritual conversation. This is just very pragmatic. And so as I'm getting coached for the first time, I'm like, superpowers. I need to figure that out. And then understanding what do I get complimented on? Where do I feel most alive? Where do I feel the most energy? Right. And this is not happiness. Yeah. This is more like joyful. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And teasing those out and then being almost immediately depressed because I'm like, this are not marketable skills. I don't know what this is. people make Peter makes friends everywhere and he likes to talk to people and this isn't and so, and my coach was like, hey, you don't get to know right now. You need to be praying on it and you'll start to make mental connections. And then finding coaching for myself and et cetera, right? But to me, the s the the the ceiling that I was hitting in all those businesses was just because I was incongruent. I was doing something I was good at. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. But I wasn't great at it. And I could get the thing done. And dude, I started working when I was seven years old. My parents like they could outwork most humans. Mm-hmm. So I could do anything. A lot of us are like that, where it's like, dude, you you want me to re-roof it? I don't know how, but I'll figure it out and I'll do it in the in the middle of August in Florida if I have to. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Doesn't mean it's what I was supposed to do. And so to me, you figure out how God made you. What are the gifts that he entrusted to you? And my joke is always like, Man, we're part of this gajillion piece puzzle. And I'm just a piece of sky, bro. Like I'm the blank piece of sky, it's a very boring piece. But when I try to be a piece of grass, it just doesn't work. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Like I don't even fit. And it and it messes the puzzle up, quite frankly. But more importantly than that, like I'm that piece of sky and there's twenty other pieces of sky that need me to be there. You know when you're putting a puzzle together? And you're like trying to make a couple of these big morat these islands of pieces that you put together f link together. Yeah. And you just can't find that stupid piece. But if you can find it, they could all link together. That's me. Right? And so where I'm at, where I'm at, then everybody else's life makes sense. Because I'm linking arms with them and they're linking arms with me, and my life makes sense. Yeah. But I'm down here trying to be a piece of grass. And you can force that piece in there. You've done it. I've done it when I'm putting a puzzle together and you and then later on you're like, shoot, this is It's in the wrong spot. It's actually supposed to be over here. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: You take that out and you put it in the right spot, that's when you're like, shoot, that was my floor. That wasn't a ceiling. I speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: was just doing the wrong thing because I wanted to be famous, or I want to make a bunch of money, or I wanted to do X, Y, and Z, or I wanted to be look I wanted to look cool. And you strip that away, you're like, Hold on a second, how did God make me? And that's the whole statue of the David thing, man. It's like you chip things away. This is so fun about coaching, bro. You strip those things away, and you're the peer people are like, hold on. Wait a minute. This for me? I could do this? This is a job? Yeah. Holy crap. And speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: you see their eyes light up. They're I was coaching this gal one time and she's talking about all these things she wanted to do. And I'm thinking, this doesn't make sense. this is your skill set. This is what you've been doing. But you want to do this thing. And I'm trying to think about it and I'm realizing, you think that this is gonna be like you're gonna be famous or you're gonna print a bunch of cash. And you might. And then I'm like, hey, tell me what you do again. Her posture changed and she sat up and her eyes lit up and she got all like her voice changed. She got excited. I go, What was that? And she's like, I just love. I go, You didn't talk about this thing like that. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Why do you want to do this? You should do more of that. And now she's doing more of that, right? And it's just so interesting, man. You strip that away. It's just it's such a powerful thing. What is it for you? speaker-1: Yeah. Well, I mean when you're when you're just sharing that, the thing that was like rocking me is sitting with clients that knowing they're called to what they're called to and their lifestyle, their mindset has now started to like dismiss that calling in their life. And hearing that and hearing like there's this like There's joy, there's purpose, there's significance, they're meant to carry this, but they're tired now and they're just carrying this weight. And then they start to see the weight as negative versus seeing the weight as honor and treasure. And then it's like, you're you're you're like there's something off here. And then you start to you kinda already know what's off. you kinda can sometimes the body just shows it. if you see it's like they're a heavier set dude or Heavier set woman, you know, there's something you're doing that's you're avoiding. And you're the avoidance and you're you're indulging way too much in stuff. And that's become just now naturally a part of you. And it's like, Well, I gotta I gotta entertain all these people. I gotta take to dinners. That's just part of it. that's part of my thing. Well, you know what? You can go there and actually have something healthy for yourself while you're entertaining them. Yeah. You don't have to have six glasses of wine that night. Why don't you try three tonight? let's try it, let's compromise at first, Yeah. But there's there's these things that we can get into it. But it is, it's so fascinating for me that when you're talking about how your your your ceiling within your your work is also connected to your ceiling and your identity. And what do we do? We compromise our identity. We we we subtly compromise it. And we let these things just come in over and over and over.