Juls: Hi, I'm Juls and welcome to episode two of the Honest Design Diaries. This is a podcast where we talk about what it's actually like to be a designer, the good bits, the messy bits, the stuff we usually keep to ourselves, or only confess to our closest and dearest designer friends. Today I'm joined by Rachel Cartledge and she graduated two years ago and thought her life was all set up. She had a junior designer offer, a start date, signed a lease for a new flat and was on holiday when she got the email two weeks before our start date to say the job had fallen through and what she did next. I hope you enjoyed. Hi, Rachel. Thank you so much for coming on You are one of our very first guests on a podcast, so thank you so much for being one of the first to say yes. ⁓

Rachel: To see you here. This is great.

Juls: And we met just the other week at Doorways event and you were speaking at it and it was your very first speaking engagement that you've had and speaking your journey into freelance and it made me just think I want to have you on my podcast because you've got such an interesting story. So first of all, just tell us a little about yourself and introduce yourself to the audience.

Rachel: So yeah, I'm Rachel. I'm a freelance graphic designer and illustrator. I'm based in Edinburgh, Scotland. And a lot of my work is very fun and playful. I also graduated ⁓ just over a year ago. Two years ago? No, it's two years ago. Like ⁓ remember when it was. yeah, I'm very new to the scene ⁓ and am just kind of figuring everything out as I go along and ⁓ it Seems to be working so far ⁓ with a lot of hard work. But yeah, I'm really enjoying it and it's really cool to be doing stuff like this as well.

Juls: There's one experience and situation that you want to bring up to date and talk about and that was the situation that happened with you right on leaving uni. So do you want to maybe just tell us about

Rachel: When I finish uni, I'm sure a lot of other emerging creatives will kinda get this, but the thing that was drilled into me was to get a junior designer role. That's what I thought was the way you become a designer. I thought you went junior mids all the way up until Creative Director. I didn't really realise that there was anything else outside of there. Or I did I thought if you did freelance you weren't supposed to do it straight out of uni, you're supposed to get a bit more experience. So yeah, I got a junior designer role. straight after uni and two weeks before I was supposed to start the agency nothing to do with them but they lost their biggest client and I was told two weeks before I was supposed to start that they weren't able to offer me the job. I was travelling at the time, ⁓ I was in Thailand, which was a lovely place, but I signed on to a flat and stuff thinking I was supposed to be earning a certain salary. So yeah, when I came home, I had rent and bills pay. So quite frantically started searching for other junior designer roles. I realized that I'd actually gotten really lucky with getting that first role ⁓ the job market right now or two years ago, I think it still is, was really, really rubbish. So yeah, I went I went freelance. ⁓ kind of I took a big leap, kind of because I had no other choice, had the balls to do it. If this hadn't happened, but yeah, two years on, I am so happy that experience happened to me. I was gutted at the time, like it was so upsetting. But it has allowed me to be able to work with so many cool people and a lot more space to work out who I am as a creative, I think. I think if I was in a teen year role, like I wouldn't have had time and space to do that because I'd be under someone else's management, maybe.

Juls: It is funny, it's like what you often think is your absolute root, the absolute path you want to do and as you say, you're away on holiday, you absolutely had your next couple of years mapped out, you're gonna be working against the junior designer in this agency. And it happens more often than you think. I remember when I ⁓ was leaving college at the time, got a junior position and it was one of the biggest agencies in Glasgow at the time. ⁓ we'd done kind of like projects in college and then in They liked what I did, so they invited me in for an interview, offered me a junior position there and then. So I was all excited thinking I'm leaving college and getting a job. I'm all sorted. And then I actually get ghosted by the company. I didn't even get as far as the start. Like they told me to kind of get in touch in a week's time, talk to the director and and get a start date and stuff. And it quickly then turned into phoning them up. And at that point, like you could only phone and I'd keep getting their receptions saying, ⁓ he's like call back, and then they'd you'll be back in a couple of days, you'll call you. You didn't. And then I was like literally devastated to realise, ⁓ I don't actually have a job. But I don't know, I did manage to then get another junior design position and it turned out to be a way better job than I think looking back that one would have been. It was a really big agency, it was quite scary. Whereas I ended up starting in a tiny agency and there was just three of us. But yeah, it gave me that room to grow and experiment and not feel so much pressure. When obviously You're ⁓ and it always has a holiday. That's like the the worst thing in this always in paradise and should be relaxed and you've finished uniing, all your assignments done and and now you're thinking, Shit, I now need to go home and find another job in

Rachel: Mate's got a photo of me crying in the pool with a mirror in my hand with my email open on my phone.

Juls: Yeah, I think we would already act like that. But the difference is you then like immediately picked up and thought, Well, what can I do now? And that takes a lot of resilience to even be at that point so quickly. But as you say, you had pressures you'd signed on for a flat. Now you're going to be kind of like moving into that. So what was your next steps? What kind of things did you immediately once you got back home to start trying to get work freelance wise?

Rachel: I remember like to be fair, I'm like quite a type A person. Like I'm I love to have structure. So I think mentally that experience, like thinking I was doing one thing and then just being flipped on its head, I did not deal with it very well. So I remember coming home. ⁓ was on this 16 hour flight and I was so jet lagged. And I remember coming home and the first thing I did when I connected to Wi-Fi was like, some like didn't say I was open to her. Which is like I should have slept, like I should have given myself a sec. But at the time it was like I need money to to pay my rent. And so just started reaching out to everybody under the sun. Small businesses, ⁓ directors, agencies. I was still kind of contacting agencies asking for junior roles. And only kind of realized that freelance was an option when some of them got back to me and were like, we don't have a job, but there's a project coming up that you could freelance with us. We're looking for designers, just not full time ones. so yeah, I started taking up a couple little freelance gigs. ⁓ yeah, I just kind of started doing it from then. The wheels kept turning. ⁓ And I think, yeah, just because of the position I was in, I was just not taking any prisoners with reaching out to be all. I must have contacted like hundreds of people per week, stuff like that. But it's kind of like I always think of it as l entering the lottery, the more people you ask or the more times you enter, the more likely it is to get work was my thinking.

Juls: Yeah, and it is it is like that. It's the law of of numbers. I remember again myself, I actually stayed the same agency for nine years, ten years, and then I had my first child, I had my daughter, and the the job I had was like an hour's drive away. So then suddenly that drive I didn't care about and and happily did, all those years when you have a baby at home and you're trying to get home before bath time, I kinda started to realise that's not going to work. And I actually briefly went freelance and built up. separate business entirely for a wee while I'm a wedding stationary business. And after I had ⁓ Child my wee boy I was left in Aberdeen for a wee ⁓ and I thought, I need to kind of get back into design and like that. I was literally with little pages at the time and on internet all the different agencies and places in Aberdeen and it just took one. All them almost didn't even respond. I don't even know what happened to the climate. I'm was too scared to call. I hate calling and I'm very introverted but ⁓ If you are introverted, you just have to almost push past that and do it. Yeah. I just had one respond and go, Well, yeah, actually, we need a freelancer and we need one next week because our production director is going on holiday. And the way the agency worked is they had graphic designers, they had web developers, and they had a production designer who done all the artwork. So the designers didn't do their own artwork. And at the time, because I'd worked in a small agency, I had that experience of artworking my own files. So they got me in. And that week turned into, I think, three months of work. They just kind of kept get me back in and back in. And it was enough to just give them that wee spark of confidence of back in the game. At least I'm designing and and doing it. And and as you say, once you got in with a couple of agencies and got some freelance from them, you probably start thinking, well, actually this is a way I could work rather than being ⁓ permanent role somewhere.

Rachel: Hundred percent. I think like the first one of the first things I got was with Studio Something. I reached out to them. ⁓ they'd been at my degree show, which was really good. And I was like, Do you have any work going? They were like, We've got this pitch, we just need you. They were like, It's not glamorous design work, but we just need you to like visualize some ideas. Also at this time I don't know if they knew if I was as junior as I was at the time. I I kind of just faked it. They probably did know. But yeah, I I worked on that pitch and they ended up getting the job. And so then they've asked me back again and again for other jobs after that. So it is just getting that that one first gig that really, really helps you. And luckily that came around quite quickly when when I was looking for jobs. So I remember like the first I got my first invoice back from them from that pitch and that was that was rent. And I was like, I can go another month. We're all right.

Juls: I think yeah. And that's the thing. Like literally freelance life is up and down. But if you know you've got that invoice paid to kind of like you breathe out for every while and then go about okay onto the next one. And you also obviously you've been building up your personal brand and on your socials and things, but had you started it then, did you start that even before you'd left uni or was it a thing after you went freelance that you started to build?

Rachel: We had a ⁓ module in uni called personal branding. So I made my logo in in that class. Honestly, well like when I look back, I wish I did a bit more. Yeah, 'cause I think if I did that, then I would have had more of a springboard coming out of uni. But yeah, my personal branding has kind of developed more recently. Now that I'm not gasping for rent and stuff and trying to get by now that I've had a bit more more time to to actually sit down. I've been like, right, we're surviving now. How do I actually want to live and thrive and how do I want to set up this freelance stuff to actually work for me, which has been such a r cool place to get to and considering the mindset I was in when I first started was just to kind of put food on the table and a roof over my head. So yeah, I've been kind of thinking now, how do I want to brand myself? What kind of projects do I want to work on? So I've been trying to put stuff out onto my Instagram that reflects those kind of things which has been nice. And

Juls: a good thing like by having the opportunity to do that I mean you've done some beautiful projects I love your content and especially around the films that you love then create whole kind of brand identities around it and that's the kind of thing that you don't often get the opportunity to do when you are like a nine to five and you have client deadlines every day and you don't go home the last thing you want to do is then be creative at night. But by doing those projects you're very much kind of showcasing your strengths, your skills, your niche, what you love to create. And I think you've actually got some clients through actually getting your passion projects, haven't you?

Rachel: Yeah. That project's been amazing. ⁓ it's done a lot. But that kind of came about. I was having a bit of a it was at the start of this year and I wasn't really posting my face on social media. I was just kind of doing the work and posting the work. But January and February were super, super slow for me. I think in the past when I was slow, my kind of go to thing, what I did at the start was just to r cold email and reach out to as many people as possible. I think that does get you work, but I kind of thought to treat it differently a bit when I was quieter and I was ⁓ I've not got any work. Let's make something for myself. And that thought I remember excited meal a lot because I got to decide what was going on. It wasn't like a client where their opinion goes. So yeah, I thought it would be really fun to choose some of my favorite films and think if I was the graphic designer for that thing in the film, what would I make or what would it look like? So yeah, I had so much fun. I've I've done a A couple of films now. I've done The Overlook Hotel from The Shining, Shroot Farms from The Office, which was really fun. Mrs. Bean's Nutmeg Ginger Apple Snaps from Fantastic Mr. Fox. Love And then the most recent one came out last week was Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop from Kung Fu Panda. But it's really fun to put yourself in the shoes of the film and just be like, well, what would what would Mr. Ping's chopstick packaging look like if he had some? It's really fun. And yeah, and as

Juls: Every one you've done.

Rachel: counterproductive as it felt at the time, like instead of not reaching out to people directly but working on stuff like that, I was like, I don't know if this is gonna work. And I I did it wasn't really doing it to get clients originally, but I posted it on Instagram and yeah, especially the the fantastic Mr. Fox one. it resonated with a lot of people, which was really nice. Well I've been suggesting films, which has been really cool. And not only that, but I've had like loads of good film recommendations for stuff for me to watch, which has been nice. And yeah, on top of that, things of client works came from it, which is so cool. That you can do something that you're excited about and then get it monetized. I really

Juls: And I think that's the surprise. Like there's but again, you've used that time instead of shrinking yourself and worrying about that quiet time, using that then to as a kind of driver to push your content creation even further. And just say you turned it into this whole campaign and theme f w around movies. But because you're passionate about it, that really comes across in your projects. And I think that's why it's the res like you said, ⁓ it seemed to resonate. It resonates because I think People can see that it's something you have really loved to create. Whereas sometimes you might working as a junior on client projects that don't or serve you or are aligned to what you want to create. I have so many projects that will never see the light of day because I don't want more projects like that about what projects I showcase the the what I want more of. And it just goes to show, put out something you love that you love to create, that then a client's have ⁓ came your way because done that and And it is also building your own brand and you probably see or or I can certainly see through your work that you're really finding your style and you're really finding how what works for you and and what you want to create and stuff. Do you think if you'd been in the junior role in the nine to five, like this for the last year, eight, two years, you would have created all this content and had it in your portfolio?

Rachel: wouldn't have had the energy to do it either. Like sometimes even going in office sometimes like the energy of like the commute and I'm quite like an introverted person as well, like speaking to people, I think I would have just came back and wanted to have my tea and go to bed probably.

Juls: Double edged swords, being in an agency can be amazing if you're with the right group of people and supportive designers around you who are willing to share their knowledge and all that kind of stuff. You can also end up in agencies where it's quite a toxic environment and it can almost put you going into agencies. So almost by having these years by yourself and finding your design style because you've had this time, it's amazing you've got work from it. But you've also not been exposed to realistically the darker sides that can happen.

Rachel: build and set up something that really does work for me, which is being nice. And it sometimes feels like doing passion projects sometimes feel like you're manifesting a little bit. You're like sitting and thinking, like, what do I want to get work from? And then you put it out into the world and

Juls: Yeah. It's it's funny to I often see in the design groups, now how in the in in the Facebook groups and things like that, often newer designers will say, Hey, now how should I be working on passion projects? Or I don't have enough of a portfolio yet and I don't have any projects to include. And I often see a real divide in the advice that kind of comes back. Some will say, Absolutely create passion projects. This is a really good way, like to build your portfolio and to showcase your skills and what you can do. There's another other designers say, ⁓ no, ⁓ no, you absolutely shouldn't be using passion projects. And I just and I don't understand the thinking there because yeah why not? ⁓ and I know I in the beginning I was in house for twelve years. So when I went freelance of no work, I had to do passion projects because I didn't have any work to showcase because my in house work was gas and electricity markets. So there's no way I was gonna any of that out there. And again, it's just people's opinions, but don't let that stop you. doing something you absolutely want to do. And I know as well that you've got to do work with Adobe and you got to be commissioned by them, I think, several times now, haven't you?

Rachel: That wasn't on my Bingo card. It wasn't my bucketlet.

Juls: And did they reach out to you? How d how did that come about?

Rachel: Yeah, so the first project that I did with them was designing a set of 20 pin badges. They were basically gonna use them to give out to uni students at Freshers Fair. So I think if you downloaded Adobe Express in return, you'd get a nice crossbody bag and some pen badges to put on it. And so I got that project through the Creative Apprenticeship. program which I recommend every single emerging creative to do. It is so good. But yeah, you get you basically get paid and commissioned by Adobe to do a project. So so that was the one. And I remember getting the project and I was like, this is Adobe, like I can't do something mid here. I need to go fill out because it was just such a cool job. And I just really wanted to impress them. I wanted more work from them. So I ended up sending them like over 80 sketches for these twenty pin badges because I just had so many ideas and the brief was really cool and I just kind of fell in love with the project. So I sent them over all of these different sketches and I was like, you guys shortlist your top twenty. We'll we'll turn them into pins because I can't decide. And so yeah, the pins went out and then after that project that was the end of the apprenticeship project. They then came back and were like, hey, like there's so many sketches that have died on this project, but we like want to see them through. We want to repurpose them and use them for something else. So can we commission you for another project outside of the apprenticeship? And I was like, ⁓ my gosh, yeah, of course. then asked me to create a of playing cards, which was really good because there's like 56 playing cards in a pack. So each of the sketches that I'd use could be like a a suit and things like that. And then they came back again and we're like, we actually really loved your your sketches because I I vectorized them and kind of cleaned them up for the pin badges and the playing cards. But they were like your actual sketch style would look really cool on March. So wow. Yeah, I ended up then doing another project that ended up being like a a hoodie and a notebook cover. And I'm pretty sure that was sent out. to the student ambassadors is really cool. So yeah, from that one project and just kind of grafting quite a lot on it and kind of maybe trying to just show them my potential. They then came back, which was yeah, I I couldn't believe it when they came back and were like, Will you do another one?

Juls: Yeah. Well I think that's very impressive that you're just over a year in and you've already landed Adobe as a client. And it's not fine though that now that you're also building your own personal brand, you're getting freelance work, you've landed commissions by Adobe and you're doing these passion projects. That people are now starting to look kind of like that, ⁓ well, it's okay for her because she's got amazing content and and it looks easy. And I think what I loved that you shared during your talk last week at Doris was ⁓ it was like one single slide and it's all these boxes of the realities behind the scenes of exactly the kind of things I had to do to get there because it's well known that we show the shiny side on social media and the highlights who don't really share the lows and the worries and the crying at two in the morning when you know we'll get well or the are the clients not liked what we've produced and and all that kind of stuff. It's a very rocky. journey. So maybe just share like some of the realities of what was on that that slide because I could that I so I was sitting watching it from Lodine's side and and I have been the other side of now how interviewing designers and taking one and and seeing the the work that they've done and stuff. And I could literally see the students' reactions and some of them were whispering. They're like, ⁓ well I'm not following people or like now how like doing that or don't want to go on LinkedIn and stuff. So although this is amazing and it's wonderful You have worked so hard to get there and to get the opportunities. They weren't just handed to you. You had to really work to get those and and be a bit vulnerable and put yourself out there. Cause again, there's a whole like cringe factor or people like being passion markable and saying how ⁓ check her out, who does she think she is and things. So it's having to get over that is why we can do it anyway. So maybe just share the realities behind the scene of

Rachel: Yeah, I think I mean, I'm guilty of it myself. Like I suppose if you look at my Instagram you're gonna see like Adobe and all these passion projects I've done and me speaking at events and things like that. So I think it is so easy to just look at someone's Instagram, especially like other designers' Instagrams, when you're an emerging creative and you're getting rejected for jobs and then you just go online and you just see all this stuff. It's so easy to like Think that these opportunities have maybe fallen onto people's laps or ⁓ yeah, of course that's happened to them. Things like that. For example, like today, I've sat I've posted something probably a bit cringe on LinkedIn. sat and like wrote that up for an hour. I sent out emails to a bunch of different agencies I've wanted to work for. Like I've been ghosted by people. I feel like it's just a lot of it is just kind of throwing stuff at the wall and a lot of the times I've put myself out there, I don't hear anything back and I don't get an opportunity. I'm always just doing it. And I think because I've done it time and time again over time, it's hurt it a couple of times. But a couple things kind of seep through and you land like a few opportunities. And then I'll go online and and post about that. But yeah, I think it's there's so much graft and there's so much rejection. And kind of like you do need to get over yourself a little bit is something that I've been trying to do for myself. Like thinking that if directors and agencies like hold the keys to the city, whereas they're actually just human beings, like they shouldn't be put on a on a pedestal. I think it's easy to just be kind of scared of them, but it's absolutely fine to reach out and it's just such a messy process and I'm not very good at I don't think anybody's very good at going online crying their eyes out when they've been rejected for like the time. I don't think anyone can do that. So it is so easy to just look at another designer's stuff and what they're doing and just be a bit jealous, maybe.

Juls: Mm-hmm. I mean there's it's and as you say, it's syndrome. Feeling envious or jealous of the opportunities get, doesn't go away. ⁓ And that's the thing. I think we we we're quite hard on ourselves and think, well, I'm an awful person for thinking that way. It's a very healthy emotion to have and it's something everyone has. And ⁓ I I'm over 30 years in design and I still go down a comparison. ⁓ panel now how sometimes and sometimes I actually have to stop myself looking at other designers' posts because I don't want to get caught up in that. Com especially if I'm going through a hard time with a client. It literally does take one client to put you in a downward spiral. If I have lovely clients, then I love my job. I love my work and I'm singing coming into my office to get started. If I'm going through a difficult time with a client and they are making me doubt myself, doubt if I'm even a good designer. then I see go online and I see somebody who's done this amazing talk somewhere or got an amazing project. When I'm walking into the bedroom and tears to my husband going, ⁓ my God, I'm so crappy. Why am I even doing this job? So it's a very real response to to what we have. And I get it myself that it's only in the last ⁓ year, eighteen months I've said I've got to Adobe Max. Like that's been on literally on my bucket list my whole career. And I've now got there. But sometimes I get the comments, Well were you jetting off to next Jules that And how you're in Miami, wherever, Illy. And unlike most days, I am in my like joggy bottoms and hoodie with like covered in muck from walking the dogs. And my life is so not exciting. I have a very quiet life. But occasionally in Instagram, I put a really fun reel on about my my experience somewhere. It is funny how we we all do it. We all compare ourselves. But it is when we met and we were talking last week, you realise everyone feels the same. I still I think the designers it's hard because there's not a process to follow. There's not something that you get comfortable with. You literally start every project with a blank page and that fear or what if I can't think of something good to create for this project? And it's also so dependent on other people's opinions, whether they think your work is good or not. So you you have personalities at play, you have biases, you have their backgrounds informing their decisions, which is a challenge for designer. And like you say, you you face rejection, you fail you face somebody saying, nah, I don't like it. And and you have to almost yourself and not take that personally, which I'm a sensitive soul and my house you are as well. It's hard not to, but you almost start to learn to not take it personally and build this resolve. Otherwise we'd stay in the field.

Rachel: Sometimes helps me think about it is like see those times that someone's told you that your design looks horrific, or like all the times that you're sat like hunched over at your laptop and you've been there for hours and hours and it's not looking good, or you've emailed a bunch of people and nobody comes back to you, or you get a cool project and it falls through. The the way I always think about it, and and maybe this comes from like my mum and dad, is like all those hard times like you're just getting past them to become a better designer and like it means that that opportunity is closer. Now that that bad thing's happened is the way that I sometimes think about it. It's like, all right, I've been rejected today, but that means that something good's is maybe coming around the corner. So

Juls: Yes, I know and I think that's what keeps us in this it's the hopeful bat ⁓ wins. What advice would you give to like say i it is it's end of me time, there's gonna be a whole batch of freshly graduating design students coming out the doors, hopeful they're gonna get a junior position. What advice would you give to them today?

Rachel: I think the first one would be like, please don't do what I did and attach yourself worth to getting that during your position and like be nice to your uni pals. Like you're all coming out and you're all mates. Like if one of your mates gets a job, be buzzing for them, like support them on that kind of stuff help also helps you get jobs, like knowing people and and being pals with them. I think you kinda need to, yeah, if you can set up like an Instagram and and post Post your work. It doesn't ha you don't need to come on Instagram straight away and start talking into a mini mic and posting Rails, but just every like tiny little things, take tiny steps and build your way up to it. If you want to work in a certain kind of industry, do passion projects and build up your portfolio to to really fit that. If you want to work for an agency and you really like them, halo something personal to them. Like what could you make for them? What kind of project would they like? You have to be quite a tryhard, I think, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for being a tryhard either. Because it can sometimes feel a bit embarrassing, you can sometimes feel too keen. But it's that passion and love for it that will help you get those opportunities. And also the opportunities might not come like two weeks out of uni. It might take months, years. But if you just keep chipping at it every day and keep enjoying what you're doing, something will come.

Juls: Yeah. Well absolutely. I d I totally agree with like everything you said there because if you're not creating something, you're not visible in some way, then how are people even gonna be aware that you exist and that you're doing it? So Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for coming on and telling us ⁓ about your journey so far. And I've loving watching you on Instagram and seeing what you're getting up to in your latest project and getting to meet you last week in person. Where can people find you and connect with you?

Rachel: Rach Cart on Instagram. I think it's Rachel Cartledge. If you wanna add me on LinkedIn. I think that's all I'm on actually. ⁓ yeah, Instagram mainly is where where I'm cutting about.

Juls: hanging out. Lovely. Well, thank you so much. Yeah, anything we've talked about in this episode has hit a nerve a little bit or you've had a similar experience, I'd genuinely love to hear from you. You can send me a message or share your story. Because honestly the more we talk about this stuff, the more we realise we're all going through the same things and the same experiences. And if you want a space to chat with other creatives who just get it. I've got a WhatsApp community called The Creative Room. It's a really supportive space where we talk about everything, the struggles, the advance, pricing, clients creating content, marketing ourselves, all this stuff that comes with running a creative business or working in the industry. I'll leave the link in the show notes if you fancy joining us and I'll catch you in the next one.