Bryan Alan White: Welcome back. This is the Father's Proxy where we are, Pro XY. We're your host, I'm Brian. This is Jamie Z. We're happy to be back. Last week we had Joe Gentry's testimony. ⁓ he spoke about how he was prioritizing work over ⁓ his faith and family, which led to a breaking point. Eventually, ⁓ he let God have control of his life. And God healed his marriage and his family and he blessed him with three more littles who this last Sunday were actually baptized along with Jamie Z son and youngest daughter. It was ⁓ we had lots of baptisms last week at Seventh of May and it was it was emotional. It was very emotional, it was very good. we also had the 1613 men's conference last week. Yes. And it was it was awesome. Man, I like ⁓ I was having a great time. ⁓ I could have sat there and listened to it for three or four more hours ⁓ with what they were doing and what they were talking about. We had some good food, some fellowship. We just got to spend time in God's word. And I'm Shelby Martin was hilarious. He was. He was. We had a good laugh. ⁓ there were some technical difficulties. So hey, even the pros have problems. So we don't feel as bad here with our comedy of errors as we've been told by our editor-in-chief. today we have a special guest. We have Our friend Sean Certa, who's ⁓ who's accepted the challenge and he's gonna tell his testimony today. Sean, thank you for being here. Wha where are you from, Sean? Are you from originally from Fandon County? Are you from elsewhere? No. As a matter of fact, ⁓ I didn't really spend time in Fandon County until I started coming to church here. ⁓ well that's not entirely true. ⁓ I was married to a woman who is from Fannon County, a long Galaxy far, far away. ⁓ but no, I grew up in Bells, ⁓ mainly Grayson County, Sherman Denison, and then we moved to Bells ⁓ a lot of years ago and then kind of fell in love with a small town and graduated there, left. Like I said, got married, that didn't work out. The military is a tough place to be whenever you're married, ⁓ which is kind of you know part of part of my testimony, I like to I like to think. ⁓ and then towards the end of my career, ⁓ met another girl that I grew up with her brother and all the things and here we are nineteen years later. Nineteen years and two weeks later. ⁓ man. To the date. To the date. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ so when you were in the military, I guess you moved around a lot or actually I am probably like the one guy that didn't have that opportunity. I wanted to I wanted to, which is kinda funny, but that never really happened for me. ⁓ I was in the Navy, a submarine, submarine duty's pretty tough. ⁓ family life, all this other stuff. And the ideal place to be is on a certain type of submarine because the schedule's pretty regular. ⁓ there's only really two places in all the US where they have the big submarines that I was on. So it's kinda nice, but you know, I wanted to do something, you know, I love teaching. Mm-hmm. I do I teach now at my job now. ⁓ not enough, ⁓ but it's something I really enjoy. I wanted to go do that. Just kinda so happened that needs in the military happen and they're like, hey You already live here. Guess what you're gonna do? Like sweet familiar territory. Yeah, exactly. I'm glad I choose this. Yeah, yeah, exact yeah, exactly. You got volunt in a sense. Exactly. Yeah. Navy never again volunteer yourself. Yo. Yeah. So anyway, yeah. So anyway, so ⁓ that happened, you know, I got stuck there in my last bit, you know, I'd had been divorced and all this other stuff, s living a single life. I wanted to go see the world, you know. Bunch of the guys I worked with had been in Hawaii, they'd been all over the West. You know, they'd done West Packs, you they'd been to Australia, Japan, all this other stuff. Like, man, that's what I want to do. I want to go s I join the military to see the world. Sure enough, I got ready to go back out. I was talking to the detailer. He's like, yeah, man, pick any boat in Hawaii that you want to go to. I like, yes. Already looking at places to live. And then a guy that does what I do needed to transfer off. And since it's a lot easier for me just to walk down the pier to the submarine than shipping me and all my goods to Hawaii, I got stuck there. So like, you know what? Twelve years is enough of this business. I think I'm gonna do something I wanna do from now on. Yeah. So anyway. So what do you do now? So then we moved back anyway, so then got married right before we got out of military. Moved back here and now we live in ⁓ big town of Bells America and if there's anywhere to live, it's Bells America. All sixteen hundred of us. ⁓ So what do you do now? ⁓ so I still work for the government. ⁓ I work for customs and ⁓ my whole Navy career is about radiation, chemistry and all this other stuff. So So your wine takes a lot. Highly specialized in a very niche market. So when I got out All these I I all this stuff I'll use this reference in ⁓ in a little bit, but kind of one thing leads to another leads to another to where my job I have now just kind of magically opened up right as I got out of the military. You mean by God's will? Almost like it. What do you what do you know? What do you know? And then here I am, you know, eight almost eighteen years later. So wasn't at one point you were driving all the way to Fort Worth for work? Or ⁓ Yeah man. Yeah, it was I've been there. It's good times. You and you and ⁓ three other million people. Yeah. That's the beauty of living in a small fighting for one lane of traffic. Yeah. No, not one lane, brother. One spot. Yeah. One spot in traffic. Yeah. It's not worth it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna try to, you know, try to jockey yourself into that one little spot that's really not even big enough for a smart car. If you remember what smart cars were, right? They're driving. It's no bigger than a minute. Yeah, yeah, they're trying like driving a one ton Dooley, like, man, just come on. I don't care. Yeah. I like I got too much to live for at the house for me to try to fight you over a sinking ten feet in front of me. I'll just back off, do your thing. Yeah. When I was ⁓ I got some worship music blaring, you know. Back ⁓ like years ago, this was ten years ago or more, I was driving from here to Denton every day. ⁓ and it was I was in this the pickup truck I had was a little ⁓ S ten four door lifted. And it was I mean, I thought it was cool. It's like th they called it the Tonka truck. Anybody that saw it a little Tonka truck looked just like it. ⁓ but I was driving back and forth every day. Of course I didn't have any bills at that time, so that's why I could do that every day. But it took its toll on my little truck. And so I would take me a tank of gas to get there and back. So every day I was buying a tank of gas at that time. Of course this is like me too. Twenty twelve, twenty thirty realish. Every third trip I would have to I'd have to get gas. And so I would have to and on Mondays we'd have to be at work at Five. So I'd have to leave the house at like three something to get there on time. That's brutal. ⁓ never again. That's what I say. Never again, not for that. Don't miss that trap. So understand that life and it's and most people around this area do, because yeah, ⁓ to get a decent job, a high paying, well paying job in this area, unless you luck into it or something, you're usually driving to the Metroplex. Yeah. So there's a lot of time that can be had in the car and windshield time's always fun. So yeah. ⁓ and you said how long have you lived in Bells? ⁓ my gosh. We moved to Bells in nineteen eighty seven. So no references of your age. Please. I was born the next year. I was born the year after him, so Yeah, there you go. In case you're wondering, so yeah, so anyway, so yeah, no, thanks. So we moved there in eighty seven. I left when I was twenty one. We lived for a short period. My wife, my wife and I bought a house. Jody and I bought a house in Pottsboro. ⁓ we lived there for, I don't know, two years or something like that, until we could find a house back in Pells and we moved back in 09, right before our oldest child was born and recently moved out to the country about five years ago, and it's got to capitalize on that housing market crash. ⁓ buddy. Way back. Yeah, way back. ⁓ so Speaking of stuff. We there. And now we come here to church and we love it. What brought you to seventh and night? I was just about to say, what brought you here? We got so the all the hicks, you know, ⁓ Jared and Anna, Jared had just started working ⁓ in Bell's and as a maintenance crew for this for the school, his oldest daughter, ⁓ Presley, started coming to school. She's in the same grade as my oldest daughter. Well, they kind of hit it off and became friends and ⁓ this was right after we had moved into our house back in twenty one, I guess it was about Thanksgiving time twenty one. And Presley was about to get baptized and they hey, would you guys like to come to church with us? And you know, 'cause Shaley and Bracell were we're ⁓ we're friends. Yeah. So yeah, we'll we'll go, you know. ⁓ how awesome is that your daughter's been? Sh absolutely we'll go. Came to church one Sunday, ⁓ they ask us to stay, you know. hang out with them so we stayed here in Fellowship Hall and ate with them and kind of fellowshipped and rest is history man. We've been here ever since. We came to Sunday school the next week. We're gonna be in Christina's class. ⁓ she wasn't there. ⁓ Cody has stepped in for there's like eight of us there, right? 'Cause it it there wasn't very many of us back then. Yeah. I miss that class so much. Cody was in there and gave the ⁓ a little a little lesson on communication. And it just like hit me to the core, you know, 'cause I feel like it's a very something in your marriage that just you can't you can't mess it up. I'm pretty good at messing it up. So that hit me pretty good. Like, you know what? This is the place we need to be, right? Yep. And then you know, we love the worship and it was all great and you know, the people just welcomed us in and it was it's I don't know, man, we just love it. And so here we are. And to back track just a little When Sean says the Hicks, he's not talking about country bumpkins. No. He is talking about the the last name, the family of the Hicks. H I C K S. In case anyone's wondering, he wasn't saying them old Hicks out there. No. That's why I came the seventh of Maine. We there's a lot of Hicks and you know Hicks. And then there's the country bumpkins. But yeah, yeah. No, no, Hicks family. Yeah, the Hicks family. They didn't know us, but they just welcomed they welcomed us in like we were one of them, said and had had fellowship with them, you know, here in Fellowship Hall. And it was just I don't know, it's just And that's the thing about Seventh and Main. It's like your family when you get here. You know, we were at our last church for like fifteen years, sixteen years. We were there all that time and like in the back of our mind we're like, you know, we went to church in Denison. We're like, we need to be somewhere where, like near our community, because we lived in Bells. The only thing we did in Denison was go to church. That's all we did. We didn't do anything else. We just went to church. And then we quit going about COVID time. ⁓ we really kind of felt like it was the time, you know, we needed to just we need to move on. I was a deacon at the church. ⁓ at one time my wife was the ⁓ she was the children's minister and then some things happened and we're like, you know, we just we need to be in our community. Tried a couple of churches and then we came here and it was like They drew us in. Yeah. They drew us in with all the love that they give you. Right? Yeah. So you've been in the church for a while. When did you actually give your life to Jesus? ⁓ man. ⁓ it was a I think it was the actual time frame. I don't really know. I I remember like my son I guess I would have been thirty two years old, right? So no smart electric comments from you guys. That's it that's about what happened for me. It was something around that. Well that was like twenty years ago for me, so which isn't that long ago. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But it was like I was in the church but I hadn't dedicated my life to Jesus until the last like couple three years or something like that. So ⁓ yeah. Yeah. So for me, I didn't grow up in church. I mean, that's not something we prioritized. Telling Jamie a little while ago, I was baptized as a Catholic when I was about eightish years old. I don't really remember. It's been a long time ago. There's pictures My little sister, you know, she was little, she was probably two, so I guess I went about it maybe seven or eight. Anyway, I just remember the only thing I remember about it was we would go to midnight mass December twenty-fourth, two or three times. My ⁓ my whole life I remember going. My mom and dad got divorced whenever I r I was sixteen years old. And we went to a church locally, ⁓ there in Bells where we lived, and I remember I got I kind of enjoyed it. You know, I I was learning some stuff. It was pretty great. ⁓ 'cause I had no real prior knowledge of any like any. I you it's the Bible belt, especially back then. It's not I don't think I feel like it's as much now. You know, I don't know that maybe we're it's still kind of ingrained in there, but I feel like generation after generation, you know, we're kinda getting a little bit farther from that ⁓ yeah. That that core knowledge of who Jesus is, right in the in the Bible belt. And I mean and it happens you see it all throughout the book. Sure. ⁓ yeah. You know, the next generation or two, they d they just don't completely don't know who Jesus is. It sounds like it wasn't amplified that this is a necessity. It's just ⁓ no. You no. No. Not at all. Not at all. So ⁓ you know i I was living for myself. I mean, honestly. Like We all were I didn't feel like there was anything that I did that was I mean I wasn't like a horrible individual, you know, I'm pretty pretty moral individual, you know, but it was pretty much whatever, you know, I was raised to be very self-sufficient. I think that's why I did so well in the military. ⁓ you know, work hard, give it your best, and you know, you'll succeed. That's that's the way I was raised, you know? And that attitude kind of stuck with me. And I was very selfish and very prideful. Because of that, you know, I was very successful in the military. You didn't want to lean you leaned on yourself. You didn't want to lean on the There was no yeah, there was no Proverbs three, five, and six. I didn't live any there was no leaning on the Lord, do not you know, there was none of that. I was leaning fully on myself. And then, you know, like I said, I got married pretty early, ⁓ in the military, which you know it happens a lot. ⁓ It does. I was twenty two years old, got married. ⁓ my oldest boy was born when I was twenty four. Anyway, military life is hard, man. I mean, anyway you slice it. I had a pretty good duty, and it's still hard. Even as a single person, it would be hard, but married, I can't imagine. Yeah, and then you marry. And then you put in a kid. You know, and so it was I mean, it was tough and made a lot of bad decisions. I I fully recognize and I told my ex-wife at one point in time after we'd been divorced a while, I was like, you know what? I need to apologize to you for not being the man that I should have been. You know, I thought or whatever I needed to do to make the marriage work was what needed to be done. Whether it was infidelity or addiction to things that I mean to things that I didn't feel like, you know, we're we're living on one income, man, and you wanna you want to smoke. You know like how how is that? You know, like how selfish is that? That's what you want to do? That's okay. You know, make it work. And I I flatted out I told her, I like, you know, I apologize. I wasn't who I didn't I wasn't the leader I needed to be, you know, 'cause I was concerned with work and trying to advance and do all these things and you were really a second you were an afterthought. You know, so and this was a couple years after we had been divorced. Now now was she at home with your son taking care of everything while you were off? I'm gonna say yes. I'm gonna give you that look, like yes. You know what I mean? So but then like but like I said, you know, she was at home, I'd be out of sea and ⁓ you get lonely and things happen and And for me, I thought it was okay. You know, like, man, you know, I get it. I get it. I could see how you'd be I could see how you would be distraught or whatever. You know, you got a kid who's, you know, you don't have maybe he's having a fit or whatever and you're freaking out and you don't have that backup. You don't have you don't have any backup, right? Unless you That definitely took a toll. Yeah, it did. It did, for sure. And you know, so but when we got when we got divorced, ⁓ it like I took it Very personal, if you will. Like I tried and tried and tried, did all these things, you know, w to do to make it work and whatever else. Not to say that I wasn't at fault either, because I I I I a hundred percent own I was at fault, right? But it made me put up a bunch of walls that I think really kind of affected me for a long time. Even into I remember having conversations with Jody. ⁓ you know, she is a hundred percent a godsend. Like I know for a fact that God chose her for me. Absolutely. You know, and it was that same and what's funny is that she was kinda going through her her transition into ⁓ she was a new Christian, I was a new Christian, and it just kinda all worked out. It all connected. It all connected. Yeah. And it's gonna ask ⁓ it sounds like y'all's you know, your ex wife, you sound like the relationship is much better now. Now that you or Yeah, I mean Is that safe to assume? ⁓ yeah. We're we're amical. I mean You I don't ever see her or nothing else. So I mean it's kind of a thing of the past. Our son is twenty eight years old. He's grown and has his own life. ⁓ good kid, proud of him. But you know, when w I you know, if and whenever I see her, it's always we're cool. Okay. It's not like But I'm I'm glad that you were humble enough to admit. ⁓ yeah, I flat out no yeah, I flat out told her and I I think it kind of took her by surprise. Yeah. You know, whenever someone tells you I'm I was wrong. I I am to blame. You know, you did some things, I did some things, but please forgive me in a sense. Forgive me for not being the man that now I know I was called to be. Yeah. You know. And it it's you know, thankfully enough, ⁓ my story kind of starts really ⁓ all those things are kind of backstory stuff. You know, I had a lot of things happen, you know, prideful, ⁓ Sinful, doing all these things for me, selfishness, and all this stuff. But I'll never forget. My son was all this boy was eight years old. Loves history. Like anything and everything about history. It's kind of you ever need to talk about anybody about history? One of the best history books. I got a number for you. You talk about World War II, Vietnam, what I got a guy for you. Anyway, ⁓ he asked me one day, he said, Dad, I'll never forget. He looked at me, he's like, How was Jesus when he died? And I don't know what it was, man, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was almost like he it was a spiritual awakening through your son. ⁓ a hundred percent. Because you know, the Bible talks about God draws you to him, right? He calls He calls you to So I when I look back now, there's a quote that I l I love, love, love. And it's been adapted through the years, and it's coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Wow. Right. And to the believer, we know. It's not God being anonymous. It's just God being like it's shepherding the sheep, right? You gotta sometimes you gotta poke ⁓ Before you you think it's coincidence. But then when you have w God's presence and you would encounter him, you know that was just intervention. So I look back and I have all these different events. Well, I had to go to school one time for one of the things I did in the military for s six months. And had to go to Virginia. And this dude that was sitting next to me while we were in class, I remember him reading these books. Like he was just always like, anytime we had a break, he was just flipping with this like, hey, what do you read, man? He's like, ⁓ the left behind series. I didn't have any idea what the left behind series is, you know, but I saw him reading them. And I'm like, ⁓ what is it, you know, what is the left behind series? What are you talking the left behind series? ⁓ it's about, ⁓ it's about the rapture. And I'm like, I mean, I I had enough knowledge of God to know that there's gonna be at some point in time, he's gonna call us all home. Now sooner will be better, but Yeah. Anyway, so he's like, Yeah, I mean yeah, man, I'm almost finished with this book. I'll let you read it. Man, I started reading and I was like, Are you done with the next one? And then the next one, you know, so it's like these little things and then and that's kinda where it started while I was in school. You my son's getting older, my son's younger. Then you have all these like little things that happen through and through and through and through. And then my son asked me that, Dad was Jesus when he died, and I didn't know. thought I maybe had an idea, like I may have had enough knowledge, but I didn't know. And like it was that moment I felt as though being a parent and letting him know that I know enough about Jesus to tell him to give him an answer. Dude he was thirty three years, thirty two, thirty three years old, you know? Yep. ⁓ and then talk to him about it. And I remember that very next week Going to church in the town that we lived in. And it was just like a whirlwind of things, you know, started kind of happening. I was going to church and the girl I was dating at the time, because I wasn't married, man, we were I mean, we were drinking, living it up, having a good time. I rem I can remember, and if my kids hear this, I'm sorry. ⁓ we all make mistakes. I just want to tell you. Yeah. There are times I don't remember how I got. I r I I can remember having protection. But a hundred percent. Yep. But it's like you don't recall. Yeah, I got something for you, buddy. I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep you safe through this. I remember going to like I was very senior on on our submarine, you know, like over the entire engineering department on duty days and stuff. Showing up. I'd have to be in the rack till noon because I was sleeping off a hangover from the light night before. You know, I'm like, all right, if anything happens, y'all come get me. How wrong is that? What kind of example am I setting for these younger guys? How's that leading? Yeah. How's that almost like day? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got troops in war, but ⁓ twelve o'clock I'm just waking up. Yeah, man. When all the kings were off to war. Yeah, ⁓ yeah, yeah. I got all the guys out there standing duty and I'm supposed to be in charge of like a one I'm not gonna say the most apartment, but you I mean if you got big missiles that those are pretty important. But we don't have missiles when we're in poor. We got a nuclear reactor in in our submarine. And I'm in charge of all you guys. It's pretty important. People are there. Right. Hey, don't touch that button. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's shut down. So yeah, it's all safe and whatever. But how can you how can you lead anybody like that? Yeah. How could and it's almost like how can you justify that? Yeah, and yeah, and no how can you justify that? You know. And it's not one of those things, you're in the military, you you got a bunch of young guys, you're hanging out and you're doing the things with the young guys, you know, you're being one of the guys and No, there's really no excuse. So I started going to church immediately. Like, I need to be a parent to this kid and give him his answer. The only place I know I can get the answer is by going to church. Coincidentally, I say, coincidence, right? So whenever you yeah. They do exist. Right. Right. So at about the same time this happened, the way the way the submarines that we're on work is you actually have two full crews that oppos operate the submarine. Because the submarine has to be out all the time. Because you have big giant nuclear missiles. Yeah. So the only way you can keep other people from shooting missiles is if you have your missiles out there to protect the world. So you go out, you're out eighty-five-ish days, you come back, the teams are together, you and the other crewers are together for about three weeks, three and a half weeks, they leave, they go on R and R, you take the submarine, you go out. And then you just it's constant. It's kind of like a revolving curve. Yeah, revolving, you know. So we never went out seven. Yeah, we didn't we never went out for six months at a time like the other guys did. But our summary was constantly out. That sounds like my twin. He'd be he said that there would be months I wouldn't even see the sun. So when he would get to the surface, it would be ⁓ like it would be brand new to him almost. So you have a routine, right? You sleep in the same place, you know, you're senior enough, you don't have to share a a bed with anybody. But you always kind of sleep, you know, you and your guys there in your group, you always sleep in the same bunk, if you will. So time in, time out, and ⁓ you know, you go in, it's all empty, you know, you get your little space, you put all your stuff in, wall. I go in one day, ⁓ after we take the boat back, I go to put all my stuff in my my rack, and there's like a Bible in there. We have this little tiny cabinets about about like this and about this deep by your head. You know, you can put, you know Matt like size of a center block. A little bit bigger. Two two cinder blocks is about as big as it were sitting next to each other standing up. That's about how big it is. Yeah. So there's a Bible in there. I'm like, hmm, that's never been there before. Maybe somebody was just maybe somebody left it. I'll leave it there. They'll come back and get it. No big deal. One week goes by, it's still there. Like, man, listen, I really really want this thing. Two weeks goes by, not there. Three weeks go by and still in there. We gotta go. Like, I guess it's going to sea with us. 'Cause it doesn't belong to me. I'm not gonna take it, you know, I'll leave it here for whenever they get we get back, it'll be there for whoever is this belongs to. No initials, no writing, no nothing. Just kinda I still have it. It's funny. I it's just they I thought I gave it back. I thought I left it for the next, but I actually took it. ⁓ so we go out to sea, we're underway, you know, you got some time, like, man, I'm gonna pick this thing. Let's read what's in here. I'd been to church one or two times before we went out. Whenever I had the time, you 'cause sometimes you might have duty on Sundays. Anyway, I get to reading like where do you start? I just open it up and start reading. Funny enough, it was John chapter one. Right. If you're gonna start anywhere if you don't know anything about Jesus, John. Start in John and you'll learn I'm telling you you'll learn so much about Jesus. God is good. Yeah, you see you got you know, you got the In the beginning the word was with God and the word was God. Well, ⁓ let's just keep reading. We'll see. And it was just like at that point, I couldn't put it down. I mean, it was like like I had never experienced anything like, you know, cause I'm not like a big I love the left behind series. Like right drawing you. Come on, little buddy, you know. I feel as like it was God who had a jig and he's he's jigging me a little bit and he's reeling it. Yeah, come on, take the bait, buddy, take the bait. Here it is, it looks so good to you. But dude, I ⁓ I couldn't stop reading. It was incredible at the things I was reading, at the pace I was reading. And I'll you know, and when you're at the C, like you might have a couple of guys that may have some Bible knowledge. I'm asking these dudes questions and they're like, I don't know, man. You know what I mean? Like I'm You got the book, read it. Yeah. I mean like what is what is where and what is Sheol? I don't know. You know, but I'm reading this stuff and I'm wanting all these I'm like wanting all these answers. And it's like I couldn't get enough. It was so incredible. We come back, you know, I start go we have like a little Sunday service. I start doing this and I'm, you know, trying to find out anything from anybody I think has some sort of Bible knowledge, you know, and we're all kinda in there together, like we really don't know. We feel like we you know, some of the guys are, you know, like, yeah, I gotta be here on Sunday, you know I need to be in here. Some guys are like, Man, I if I don't gotta go be on duty, I'm gonna go sit in here. You know what I mean? So I couldn't get enough. It was so good. ⁓ my gosh, it was so good. I started realizing who I was wasn't who God called me to be. And I started realizing. Through all that that what he did for me And it was like a flood, man. It was like a f just this flood. It just took me over. That's the greatest film in the world. ⁓ my gosh, yeah. No more drinking, no more this I mean, you know, we still go out, whatever, and my bum my guy's like, What's wrong with you, man? Like Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. Like a good friend of mine, he's like, So he's like, Man, you you know, you you don't drink any more ⁓ They're noticing. Yeah, they're noticing like you know, I notice you start going to church like why why are you doing that? Why are you you know, why do you go to church, man? And I was so new and so young at the time. I'd rather go and believe in this and find out at the end that there's not anything than not go and find out and find out. It's like the C. S. Lewis quote where he's talking about ⁓ if if ⁓ Christianity is not true, it's of little importance. But if it is true, it's of the most importance you'll ever know. ⁓ it's like that's yeah, man. That's exactly what he was saying. It's like if it's wrong, even if we do this our entire life, what do you lose from it? Yeah, no exactly. You lose world game I became a better human being in the process. ⁓ yeah, for real. Healed many relationships, saw people t give their lives because of me planting the seeds. Yeah, they're like, What's yeah, what's wrong with You wanna know what's right with me? Jesus You were this cool dude used to hang out and get drunk with us. And I remember being at the strip clubs and the women that I would flirt with or talk to, they're like, what is this? Is this a fad? And I'm like, No, this is a life like i I'm no longer that guy. And they're I miss the old jam. And I'm like, I don't. I want nothing to do with it. Yeah, man. That guy was horrible. Yeah. Yeah. And when you get to that point, you never realize that it's like, you must be born again. You have to die to the flesh. Like you don't realize how important that is. And it's like you said, you know, I could feel every everything. Your life changes. ⁓ yeah. And it and it was like, thank God for that. Because it's like if it was up to me, I'd be dead, overdosed, in jail. Have an S T D and have thousands of kids. It's like you want the flesh. You want that sinful world. But then when you meet him, it's like, I want nothing to do with that. Yeah, it's because we're of the flesh. That's why the fleshly desires are so ⁓ they they draw you in so much because we're here in the flesh. But I'm telling you, like what you were saying, and and Jesus, if you don't know, he's the ultimate sacrifice. They used to have to sacrifice ⁓ back in the day for atonement. But he is the atonement. So that's the thing. He is the atonement, but here's the deal. You still gotta sacrifice and people go, Well, no, you don't. And like, yes, you do. ⁓ yeah. You have to sacrifice that old self, your old life. It's like that's who you're laying your life down for is Jesus. And that's that sacrifice you gotta make, man. And it's and it you know, and the and that ever going and it's all about, you know, light Luke nine twenty three, right? You gotta do it daily. Yeah. Daily. It's a daily if you don't seek it out daily, the world and your flesh We'll take over. ⁓ yeah, man. It's so it's so easy. You look at the internet today and you see how bad the people are brainwashed. And it's like you look at, do you want to hear the gospel? They want nothing to do with it. And then you go to Honduras and it's like people are begging for prayer. It it's it's amazing. And this is ongoing since the beginning of time. Like it's always been this way. People think, ⁓ it's getting so bad. It's like it's always been bad. The only thing that makes it good, that right there. ⁓ yeah. So you were saying you were you were trying to learn more. ⁓ man, yeah. Couldn't get enough and ⁓ yeah. It was so good. And then, you know, so then I started realizing all these things about myself that were counter as to what Jesus wants you to be. He doesn't want you to be, you know. ⁓ Matthew twenty-eight, twenty or twenty twenty-eight, son of man came not to be served, but to serve. I was all about serving. Myself, man. I was all about serving me. Whatever I wanted. Man, I so I was into ⁓ I was training for triathlons. I didn't really get to do one. Our schedule never really worked out. But dude, I was riding like a $6,000 bicycle, you know. ⁓ whatever. I mean, just I had all the stuff. I had all the stuff. You know, all the toys I wanted. It was all about me. And I started realizing. Got it all wrong. You know, I put me first, I'll never forget one time. This was late at night. Jody and I had first just first started dating. And we're having those one you know, real late conversations, you know, that you have. We're on the phone, because she was still here in Texas. I was in I was in Georgia. And it was a late conversation and super like probably two in the morning, you know, needed to get up. Both of us need to get up, get up, go to work the next day. But but it was just so good. But I remember her asking me, she's like, So do you at this time, you know, we're kinda we're pretty well in it, you know. Like I felt like for her, the way I felt about her was so strong. I I can't explain. Like it was different. It's completely different than anything I had ever explained. Than worldly relationship. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. But I remember her asking, she's like, So do you you know, how do you feel about this? You know, like if something happened, could you you know, would you be o okay of like how would you feel like if this didn't work out? Like, ⁓ you know. Yeah, I would be sad, but you know, I mean I could probably move on. But I had built up this wall because I'd been hurt so badly from my previous relation. And I hadn't quite hadn't quite I was learning about all the things that that the Bible teaches, you know, being being a servant, ⁓ being a leader, loving your neighbor as yourself, you know, and all these things. And I didn't quite get it at the time. And I remember telling her that she's like Really? Like, really? And she probably it probably threw her for a loop that, you know, here we are, we're in it, you know. And I could just walk away like that. And now I look at that and I'm like, there's no way, man. You know, like I I understand what love is now. Yeah. You know, because it was still very new to me. Like the concept of somebody dying for my sins. ⁓ it was like I said, it was new, man. Like, how is this possible? You know, but Now it's just it you know, for my relationship with her, I I can't I can't imagine what happened about her, you know. I mess up all the time. I mean like it's kind of like you think you know love until you're introduced to the love of Jesus and what he did and how he laid it down. Yeah, man. I think it's that agape love is just it's it changes your whole being. This podcast went a little long, ⁓ so we're gonna turn it into a part two for Sean Certa. ⁓ so check us out next week and you'll hear the left rest of the story, as Paul Harvey used to say. Guys, we appreciate you listening. ⁓ like, share, follow, and subscribe. ⁓ check us out on YouTube, we're on Apple Podcasts, we're also on Spotify. So check us out. ⁓ come see us at 7th in Main. We've got two services. We got a 9 a.m. and 11:15 a.m. And if you can't make either one of those, Check us out online, ⁓ just 7MBC on YouTube. Thank you for listening. This is the Father's Proxy where we are. Pro XY, led by the Holy Spirit. ⁓