Kaylee Nelson: Welcome back. This is the Father's Proxy where we are, Pro XY. We're your host. I'm Brian. This is Jamie Z. We are back. Last week we discussed the passing of Abraham, Abraham's second wife, Keturah, and how we need to read the Bible in context to understand what it's saying. Like when it was talking about Jacob he loved and Esau he hated. It wasn't saying that he hated one or loved the other. He was saying he chose Jacob, he didn't choose Esau. and then Lastly, we briefly touch base on Jacob and Esau. that we only scratch the surface. There's so much more. Lots to unpack there. Yeah, and we'll get into it as we go. But today we have a testimony. We have a very special guest. It's Kaylee Nelson, who has accepted the challenge. Another one of the Nelson's legacies. Exactly. Who has accepted the challenge to give her testimony. So she's going to be sharing her testimony today. Kaylee. To my understanding, you were born and raised in Bonham and you've lived here your entire life or at least most of your life. I was born in Greenville. We lived in a little community of Void until I was like three and then we moved to my parents bought some of my mom's family's land and then that's where I've grown up since. Perfect. and you're currently studying to be in A registered nurse, is that correct? That is correct. And you passed your finals my finals. Praise God. So I have role transition where I will be it's unpaid work in the hospital. Nothing wrong with unpaid work. It's service. basically just like getting you ready to put you in the line of work. So I'm going to my role transition, I will be the nurse with a preceptor. And then once I get through that, I'll graduate in December and then we have boards. And after boards you start getting paid or no? Yes. Well actually I might start getting paid before then because I I can work as a new grad until I take my N CLEX, which is the boards. Gotcha. So moral story, still a broke college kid working on it. Yes. Got it. We're we're always there. We're almost there though. So when did you get involved with Seventh and Main church. When would you say that was your 'cause I we know your parents, we've had them on and they've been involved in the church. When would you say you got involved with Seventh and Main? I probably started coming a year or two after they did, 'cause I lived away from home. I would come visit on the weekends, so I would attend church here with them when I came, but when I moved back, that's when. I started getting involved between school and everything else. I've helped here in Iwanas or I've attended Bible study. It's probably twenty twenty-three. Gotcha. And so when did you give your life to Jesus? when I was eight, maybe nine. I might have been ten. I was young. Really little. We had Judgment House at the church that I grew up in, which is also my parents' home church, Boyd Baptist. They had what's called Judgment House. Mm-hmm. And d tell us about Judgment House, because for those that grew up in Fanning County know about the old school Judgment House, but tell us about it. So Judgment House is where you it's not like a it's a play, but you don't have the scenes don't come to you like you move scene to scene. And it's set up through the church. Yes. And I always was an actor. Like when I was really little, I was a little angel in heaven. And then as I got older, then I got to be more involved and I was one of the actors that something would happen too. But you usually had two, maybe three people, something tragic would happen. and then the like last three final scenes was you had judgment. You had hell and then you had heaven. And so you usually had a believer who believed and then you had a non believer. And so then they went to judgment. So you got to see whose name was written in the Lamb's Book of Life. and then you would see them getting taken away like they were going to heaven. And then you would have someone who was not a believer and you know, Jesus is like, Well, you denied me, so here's your I never knew you. Yes. And they would get taken away by a devil. And then you had moved to hell, the scene of hell, and that was really scary as a child. Yes, it was. And as a little girl, I didn't want to go there. And I knew that that's that was scary, that was traumatizing, and I knew I didn't want to be there. And so that's when I accepted Jesus Christ. I don't I don't necessarily believe that like yes, I knew who he was and I accepted him, but I don't think that's when I didn't fully surrender my life to Christ when I was that relationship it hadn't started yet. It didn't start until I was older. it was just a here's my ticket to get out of hell card. And I will say that judgment day, I I went I r vividly remember it. And I went as I mean, I was probably like you said, nine or ten, somewhere around in there, and that judgment day was Real, it it came to life when you went through it. And it and I'm sure I'm just remembering it, because when you're a kid, you see the the guy in a costume that's like the Ninja Turtle, and you think that's the real Ninja Turtle, but it I'm telling you, it felt like it was a true production when we went through that. it was like, Whoa, what is this? I'm sold. And we were in a smaller church and we didn't have all that. And you walk through this thing, and it was It was a whole ordeal. So it was really I I know exactly what she's talking about when she's talking about judgment. It was very eye-opening. Yeah, and it was. And and I'll never forget because my dad, to further illustrate the the what they were saying, like on our way home, and it was like summertime or something, I think. And he like turned the a like the heat all the way on. He's like, It's gonna be like that all the time. And I'm like, I don't want that. That's I don't I don't like the heat. In judgment, there was also this lady, and she had like This evil cackle. And she's not she's no longer acts as the devil there. They still have Judgment House. In fact, they had it this year. They just had it. It's usually around Halloween when they have it. And it scared me to death. I don't I'll never forget. They start off with like, hey, it's like this group and we're all hanging out and then something tragic happens, like in a car accident, all of a sudden it's like they're standing in front of the throne going, Okay I see your name, come with me. I don't see yours. And then as you go to the next room, it's like this is their scene where they get the d and they like that cackling never. There's also like at the end of judgment, like you're standing there in your group and you have to fill out paperwork before you go so they know who's all in what group. And so like the judge is reading and he's like calls your name out and he's like, Will I see your name in the Lamb book of life? Like It really like Okay, I know you were at that struck my heart it brings it together and it's like, no, that's like I want my name in that because I don't want that to happen. So you know what she's talking about. absolutely. We used to do it every year at Boyd. I growing up. It wasn't until I was like a teenager 'cause even when we would go to New Zion, I would they would ask me to come act. It was probably the year you were born that I went, probably two thousand and one. Okay. Kaylee, let's turn it over to you and Let's hear your let's hear your story. Hear my story. Okay. when I was eighteen, I found out that I was pregnant right after I graduated high school. And you were not married at the time that you got pregnant, right? At first time. No. how did you find out? Tell us like walk us through what happened there. I just like I it's kinda weird how we even met because we met through friends. 'cause my best friend rodeoed, he rodeoed. She had a friend that was his best friend and then we all just kinda started hanging out. And we didn't. Like we talked for a couple of years. And then he was everything I thought I wanted at the time. So we started dating and we started dating when I was seventeen. he lived in a different state so he would come. There would be times that I would have games co going on. we showed livestock so he would come to those and he would just come spend the weekends down here. It was one of those things where your parents try to separate you because your parents aren't stupid. They saw the warning signs before that. Yes, they know that things are gonna happen, things going on and but then again also at the same time you your kids have to make decisions for themselves. so yeah, things got a little too far carried away. My mom likes to say, I got pregnant on prom night. Was it on prom night? I don't think it was. I think I was pregnant before then. Okay. But yes, 18, found out I was pregnant. I was going through body changes. I was tired. My friend was like, hey, have you ever thought about taking a pregnancy test? And I was like, no, I'm not. I'm on birth control, that's yeah, no. And she was like, Let's just go, let's go see. And she had a pregnancy test and we were girls, so we go to the bathroom together and I pee on a little stick and all of a sudden she's in some light and she's looking at it, she's trying to read it. And I just hear her yell for her mom. And I'm like Well, what do we need your mom for? And she's like, Well, I don't know if I'm reading this correctly, so I just I want her to come read it. Okay, well, your mom's had three kids. I guess she knows how to read pregnancy tests, so calling the expert. She came in and she was like, Yeah, you're pregnant and I think everything hid at once because I was like, This can't be true, but two people now are telling me This is positive. So it's surreal at this point. And it wasn't one of those where we had another one to take out and we could it was just one in a package. So we would have had to go into the store and I remember her mom just being like, It's okay, you know. And if you don't feel comfortable telling anybody right now, like your secret's safe with me. She also, told me she would make my first appointment, she would pay for it out of pocket. If That's what I wanted to do, but at the time I was like, no, like I'm gonna have to that wouldn't be fair to my parents to have somebody else know. So I was like, no, I'll at some point I will face my mom and my dad and I will let them know. And I prayed on the way home that night that my mom and my dad would be asleep by the time I got there because moms know when something's wrong. I didn't want her to question me then because I wasn't ready to face it at that point. I don't know if she was asleep, but she definitely was not out of bed. So asking questions. Boyfriend does not know, I have not told him, but I was getting ready the next day to go out of town to his house because he was going to his hometown rodeo and I was going to be there t for support. and I had planned to tell him the next day. I remember when I got up there the next day. I still haven't told my parents. I got up there the next morning. He was at work and I was like, hey, I have something to tell you. I need you to come home because he was just like a ranch hand. He just fed animals for some guy. Was like, well, what is it? And I was like, well, I'm pregnant. And he didn't believe me. And so I was like, well, when you get home, like, we can take another test. I bought more so you can see for yourself. but I have I have a positive pregnancy test in my bag already. So I was like, you can view that when you get home. he did not talk to me for an entire weekend. We watched him rope. he would go and talked to other people, never interacted with me. My mom and my grandmother had came up that weekend and they had asked, hey, what's going on? I've noticed that y'all aren't really speaking. And I was like, mom, we just got into an argument. I just like brushed it off. And I was thinking to myself, how am I gonna tell my parents that I'm pregnant? And they're gonna be so disappointed in me. So I ended up writing a letter and my sister liked it joke and say it's my letter of disappointment. I wrote it, I came home, still really wasn't ready to tell them. My dad worked at the prison at the time, he would come home and he would immediately go to a hayfield and he would be raking hay, bellin' hay, whatever he was doing, and I might not see him till it was like nine o'clock. The day kept getting longer. And it was one of those moments when I when I wanted my mom to ask me, Hey, what's going on with you? And she didn't. It was like she was just avoiding me and I was ready to face it at the time. And so my mom was in the bathroom and I took this little letter into her and I handed it across the bathroom to her. And immediately I just from standing I just fell on the floor in tears and just sobbing. And I'm sure I was screaming. I don't I don't even remember anymore. But I remember that she didn't even open the letter. She was like, my gosh, are you pregnant? And I was like, Yes. And she was- I wrote it down, you didn't even read it. She was like, Get up off the floor, like there's no sentence in doing this, like everything's gonna be okay, like we're gonna figure this out together. I love you. It's not a big deal. And she was like, We have we need to call the dad. And I need to tell him, also everything's okay. And I was like, he hasn't talked to me all weekend, he just isn't I don't think he wants this. And I don't know. And she was like, Well, we're just gonna call and tell him things are gonna be okay, and at least you have me here to support you. And she did, and I don't remember him saying anything back on the phone to her. And then she was like We have to get your dad home. And I was like, Here we go. We're good. I wanted to tell my dad, but now I don't want to tell my dad. It's like you're relieved, but it's like we have to tell your dad. No, we don't. This is really scary and my dad's gonna kill me because my parents were youth ministers at the time at Nuzon Baptist Church. And so it was like I think a lot of guilt hit me because Yeah. You didn't want to shame the name and and what you thought of. I've sinned and now my sin's gonna be like on my parents. Even deeper. Yes. And so I just felt guilty and I was like, I'm ruin I'm ruining a ministry that they are working towards. And like they can't don't even have control over me. So that was really hard. but she called my dad and she was like, Hey, can you come home? And he was like I have thirty minutes left in this field. Can I can it wait? My mom's like, No, Kaylee has something that she needs to tell you. And he was like, Thirty minutes, I'll be home and she was like, No, you need to get home now And he was like, I think then it hit like, Ooh, something's happened And he can piece things together and He's pretty smart dude. Yeah, he could hear me crying in the background. My mom had been crying, was like, No, like you n you need to come home now like We need to have a discussion. And so he was like ten minutes away from the house. That ten minute drive felt like eternity. I'm pretty sure he went as slow as the feed truck could go to get home. I I mean he had to it was a long ride home. He did. He he had to I'm sure pray for a lot of peace and like patience with me. don't let me react out of Say something I'll regret or do something I'll regret later on. Something in here is like good's gonna come out of it. so he got home and I remember he just pulled in the driveway and just put the truck in park. Didn't come inside. And my mom's like, Well if he's not coming inside, then you're going outside. And was like, I don't now like the whole neighborhood's gonna hear like No, I don't wanna go outside. And she's like shoving me out the door. my grandma was there at the time. good. my so my I think my grandma got a little bit scared. So grandma knows and mom knows at this point. And boyfriend. Yes. so I think my grandma was scared when my dad got home, so she was like, I'm gonna leave and y'all Take care of this. I'm a slip on the back door. Don't mind me. and I just remember going to my dad and like just tears and he did nothing but give me like the biggest hug and he was and I don't know that I could even tell you what he said, but I'm like I know he said it he loved me and like everything was gonna be okay. And so then from there it went from a handful of people knowing to everybody had to find out in one night because my mom's mom was there. My mom's mom goes to church with my other grandparents. And one person's gonna slip up and accidentally say something. So it was just better to tell everybody that night. But it wasn't just grandparents that got told, it was my uncle, my aunt. everybody found out in one night and that was really hard. Yes. Yeah. So after everybody knows, his family still had not known. wow. I remember like sitting in the parking lot of a movie theater and he was like, We don't have to do this. Like you can go in to like an abortion clinic or you can go Get we can go get you a morning after pill. And at that point, one, I didn't know how far along I was. And two, that is not how I was raised and that's not something that I believe in. I believe that God created life and, you know, a baby has a heartbeat very young and you start developing your vital organs at very few weeks. And so I was like, No, I don't believe in that and that's not how I want this to go. God's gonna be able to use this. I I don't I don't know how, but he will. And so he was not very excited in the beginnings, but he began to kind of become excited and he had started telling his family, like, hey, she's pregnant, we're gonna have a baby. It was a lot to take in at that age. It's a lot to take in at any age. But especially being that young I c can't imagine how that was. I feel like I was still a child who needed her mom and dad at the time. And my parents were very supportive. Mm-hmm. And most of the time my mom would go to the appointments with me. A week before my very first appointment, I ended up in the hospital. wow. I had a really bad kidney infection and they were at the hospital they were like Well, how far along are you? And I'm like, I don't know. They were like, Well, let's go do a sonogram so we can get measurements to maybe and they did the measurements and they were like, you're eighteen weeks pregnant And I was like What? And they were like, You've never seen your baby before and I was like, Nope. And in the hospital they're not supposed to show you And she was like, But I'm gonna Let you see. And she was like, if I can see what the baby is, do you want to know? And I was like, Yeah, absolutely. And so she like flipped the screen around to where I could see. And it was just I was like, that's a whole human growing inside of me. I mean, he had all ten toes, he had all ten fingers, like everything. His head was massive, and I was like, that's a little bit scary. boy. And I just remember them like wheeling me back to the room and My mom was like, Did you get to see anything? And I was like, Well, I wasn't supposed to, but she was really nice and she let me and I was like, But mom, I'm eighteen weeks pregnant and she was like, What? And also it's a boy. And she was like, you already know the gender. But also I think at that time she was like, You're halfway through your pregnancy. Like things we've got to get things really rollin I did go into preterm labor. with case at like 32 weeks pregnant. And that was like a week in the hospital that I spent in the hospital alone. I didn't have the support from my child's father. There for a while I was like, you know, maybe having a little boy here will bring closeness. Was there any discussion of marriage or any of that? Not between the two of us, but it was one of those things where I need to make things right and that's probably the right thing to do. I didn't really necessarily want to do it, but I still felt like a child at the time and I needed to respect the adults in my life. And so I had my dad telling me that I needed to get married, which is really hard 'cause he carries a lot of guilt to this day about that. And then my mom in the beginning had also said something along the lines like before I had Case, y'all should probably get married, but she quickly changed her mind. I think when she started realizing like he was a little bit absent, his Case's dad was absent, I think she was like, you know, maybe this isn't what you need to do and it's it's okay. The day that Case was born, you know, there's a ton of family there. I have my family and I have my child's father's family there. And I just remember my parents had left the hospital and they're like, We're gonna go find some dinner. Is there something that you would like us to bring back? And I was like, yeah, some like fish and shrimp sounds really good. It was also like a time where, well, his family has drove two hours to be here and so we'll give them some time with the baby to themselves. And I just remember my child's father's mom like pushing everybody out of her room and she was like we need to have a conversation and I was like Okay and she was like basically telling me that I had to get married and she was like he's already bought you a ring. She like showed me the ring that he had bought me and she was like this is what y'all are going to do so I need y'all to figure out a time to do it. And that was hard. And my mom still she'll ask me today, why didn't you ever tell us? And I'm like I don't know. It's just I was doing what I was told. I was trying to be respectful and And you've got a lot of people coming at you like, you need to do this so it's kind of in your head of disaster. And also at the same time I was raised in a home where I had mom and dad. They've never split up like They set the standard so you wanted to follow. So I was like, I want my kid to be able to grow up in a home where he has a mom and a dad. I didn't want what he has now, but I know now that this is the best outcome for him. So I had case in December, the day after Christmas. We got married in May. When we got married is when I actually moved. He came from Oklahoma, so I had moved up there to be with him. because He was not gonna move to Texas. I was very adamant, this is not what I'm doing. This is if we're gonna make things work, you're gonna come up here. I was informed that it is it was my job as a mom to stay home and my husband was gonna take care of all the bills and everything. that is not what happened. I think we did have a little bit of a time frame. where we had what was good for a young couple to have a marriage, I guess you're still trying to figure things out. But and we also already had a baby, so you're still trying to figure each other out and you already figure out how do we live with this child, how do we keep it alive. So it was hard. And he did provide for a little bit. And then all of a sudden we didn't have money. And so it's like I stayed home with Case all the time. Never be seeing all the bills Yes. And he was supposed to be taking care of that. Well then it was like, Well, they're not being now we're getting late notices and the case was probably one. I'm gonna go get a job. And he was like, Okay, it's probably good and I don't even I don't know what was happening with the money. I don't know what what we were buying. Right. I have no idea. so I'd found a job at a nursing home where I was a nurse's aide and having to pay child care expenses. having to pay bills and it's still not cutting it and you know, I'm having to call mom and say, Hey, I don't have any money. Could you lend me some money this week just for gas? Right. We got WIC, but we didn't qualify for food stamps. it just that was a really hard season of my life. For any kid that's eighteen, nineteen years old You're always asking mom for money anyhow, but now you're a mom and you're still having to ask for money and provide for a child. Child. I can't imagine 'cause I know what I was like at that age and I'm I'm sure I like, Hey mom, can I get twenty bucks for dinner or something? Yeah, sure. So I can't imagine. I really felt like also at the time I was already a single mom. which is hard it's harder to be a single mom in a relationship with somebody than it is to be a single mom. And being a dad is hard enough when you're present, but if you're not gonna be there it's I don't That's even tougher. It it's it's a choice and you gotta make that choice and you gotta be prepared to make that choice and sometimes not all men are prepared to make that choice and then that makes it I don't that much more difficult. No that if it was necessarily like he didn't want anything to do with it, 'cause he does love his child, I just don't know that he knew how to deal with it. Right. And it was a lot. It was a lot for me. But I gr I had to grow up. He still got to be a child. Right. I guess. He still got to go do the things that he wanted. He would s he'd be out all night. He was a he's an avid hog hunter. And s he ropes. He does all of these things but he was never present. in the home. And so we'd we'd fight all the time. It just I got depressed. I was a pulled away from my family, to move up here to be with you, to start a life, and here we are, we can't even we can't even get along. We're arguing. It had gotten to where I really never saw him. He would he might come home to change clothes. or he wouldn't get home till two o'clock in the morning. He would 'cause he was out all night, but he'd come home, take a quick little nap, maybe before he went to work, and then I would get up, get the child ready, get him fed, take him, drop him off at daycare, and then I was off to work for I worked I had gotten a different job at this time where I went and worked as a medical scribe. I was working ten hour days and so I would go in at eight and I wouldn't get home until after it would sometimes it would almost be seven o'clock before I got home. It would just it would be long days, never saw him. I would call and I'd ask, like, hey, can you help me like thirty minutes, can I take a shower? Or like, can you watch? No, I have things to do. And then it just became arguments, never saw him, didn't have money. I don't know. We just started having like stupid arguments. And that happens. I don't know, then it just started into manipulation and I was cr I was made out to be some crazy person for asking for help almost is how it felt. I was depressed, I did have really bad anxiety, but I was taken away from everything that I had known. and I'm trying to figure out life as I'm I don't know, maybe t nineteen, twenty at this time. Right. still a child trying to figure out how to parent a child and also sometimes the only interaction that I get with people is a baby. I don't have unless I'm at work, I didn't have adult interaction. So, you know, it's got to be where it was like there would be verbal abuse. I had found out that he had cheated on me a couple of times. I can remember one time he accidentally broke his phone and he couldn't figure out how to clear the phone. But we had to we had submitted an insurance claim on it. So like we had to send the phone back to AT and T. And he was like, I can't figure this out. You're gonna have to clear my phone and I think I'd found like pornography and all kinds of things on there. So then that was just like another like setback and things. And then it was just I would bring it up because why are we doing this? And then Jobs that I worked at after paying bills. I didn't necessarily have enough money to feed myself. So it was always just make sure your kick your baby's fed and your baby's healthy. And then we'll worry about you later. Like I hadn't honestly got to a point where I lived off of one meal a day. I would come home on weekends and my parents would be like, you look so sick. And I'm I'm fine, everything's life's going great. I there was a lot of things I did not tell my parents and there's still sometimes little things will come out every now and then. My mom will be like, You've never said like, why didn't you tell us any of that was going on? Well I don't know, I would I didn't want you to bird me. And yeah, I didn't want you to have to like hold on to that. And there was a lot of times my parents asked me to just come home 'cause they knew things weren't great and I was You really wanted this marriage to work. you you wanted to do everything. I would ask him, can't you just be the husband that I need you to be, be the father that I need you to be? And we we might have had conversations and things would go okay for a little bit and then something would happen. We'd have a dumb argument over something and then it would just like break us back apart and I don't know, at some point during all this like anger just started coming out. our pantry no longer had doors on it because he like ripped the doors off and then he would try to make it look good so people didn't ask questions and my mom would come and she'd be like, What happened to the slats on your pantry door? And I'm like remodeled. You know, I'm not really sure. They just I just came home, they were missing. Things progressed. I would come to work beaten up, like not physically but beaten up but like I'm drained, you know. I remember my PA was like, you know, I think there's a lot of like manipulation and I have this book I want you to read or I need you to go buy this book 'cause she had been in a really bad relationship and it ended in her getting abused and she was like, I just don't want you to go down the same road that I've gone down, so can you just do me a favor and like read this book? And it was like a biblical book. Mm-hmm. But it was like it was a really eye opening experience, because I could read parts of this girl's story in this book and I was like, that's my life. this is what I deal with. I'm I get told I'm crazy, I'm not a good mom, and all these other things. And it wasn't even just by like him. I mean, his family would say things to me. Like I would send my kid to school or to daycare with an ear infection. And it's not You can't pass an ear infection. No. By the way, so they're perfectly okay to go to daycare. But he had tubes, so the it's like he would have ear drainage and I would get called a bad mom because I didn't stay home with my child. Well, his father could have stayed home. But he didn't want to. And I'm the one paying the bills, so I've I need to go to work to make money to pay the bills. Like, you know, something has to happen. I don't know, it was also at the same time, well things could be so much more worse. I would pray a lot like God I don't know why Think why this is happening? Mm. Also at the same time, my sister had had my niece. My sister's married. so I think a lot of times like it was like a comparison thing, like My sister has a loving husband. he's very supportive of my sister and I don't know, I just wanted my sister's life and so it's like why can't we reverse? And I think that I just a lot of things happen between the time I was eighteen to like where we're at now. And it was just at a point like, God, I feel like you're punishing me. And I I don't understand why. But that's not the case. now looking back like God still loved me in those times and he was still there for me. And, you know, in the end, like he's always had a plan. And just at that time, like I didn't trust. so reading this book, I was like, you know, things could be worse. Things did get worse and the PA that I worked for at the time. She was great, she was fabulous. She was like, I just want you to know that I don't want you to go down the same route that I had to go down. And she was like, You can get out. God definitely sent her in your life. She sounds like a blessing. She was like it was like one of those things where like your parents can't make you leave. no, yeah, like it's you have to decide on your own. And so she had always told me, like, you know, the door's always open, like Even if you just need to come stay for a little bit, like I'm here for you. The door's open. Praise God for her. Yeah. Who who is this? Her name is Kim. That's your guardian angel at this time. Yes. And so she door was open. when I turned twenty one, the girls that I had worked with were all really tight and they were wanted to take me out for my birthday. It was my twenty first birthday. Girls not. She was like, find somebody to watch the baby. You never get to go out. you're twenty one, we want to celebrate. Let's go have fun. Yeah. So we got hotels in Bricktown in Oklahoma City. And there's nothing to do there but bar hop. so that's what we did for my twenty first birthday. and so did every twenty-one year old days. but I had to find a babysitter because Case's data was like No, I have things going on. I can't watch him. You need to find somebody else. Well, I think that there was a lot of things like happening in the his side of the family at that time where like I had set a bunch of like harsh boundaries. Like I didn't trust for Case to be with somebody overnight other than my parents because my parents took my feelings into consideration and were like, Well, okay, we'll do it. This is how you want it done, this is how we'll do it, and not everybody did that. so around this time I was being accused of cheating and whatever else. I it's sometimes it's it's so the so the manipulation was still continuing at this point. And there was a lot of times where he would get mad at me over something, case his dad would and he would take case from me. Or he would take my keys and my phone just so I couldn't go anywhere. I would just be stuck. But if he would ever take case, he'd get mad enough at me that he would take case away from me. And a lot of times it would be because I just wanted a break for a little bit. Me asking for a break was interrupting whatever he wanted to do. So then it would start an argument. Well then it was like, well I'll just take him and you'll never see him again. And that happened a lot. And so this particular weekend he didn't want to watch case cases back here with my parents. I had told him, hey, my friend's from work. They've booked a hotel. We're gonna be here. They're taking me out for my twenty first birthday. I remember we had a meeting at work the day that we left. We left immediately after our meeting. We went to Oklahoma City. Well, we had got there like before maybe we could check into our hotel or something. So they're like, let's go to the mall. I just remember walking around the mall and I'm like looking around and I see a guy that looks familiar and I'm like, Hmm, that's my husband's cousin. That's weird. So like, what are you doing here? And I just kind of like tried to walk out of the store and like go my own way. And the next thing I know, I'm like, I'm being grabbed. And he was like, What are you doing here? And I'm like, I told you. My friends wanted to take me out for my birthday. So this is case is dead. Yes. And like, this is what we're doing. You know that. We'll be home Monday. And he got I remember he was getting mad at me and he was like, You're cheating on me and I was like, I'm with a group of like ten girls. Like, do you see any guys here? Like, I'm not I'm not doing anything and he was like, Well, y you're coming home with me and I just remember one of the nurses that I worked with at the time her like stepping in and was like, Dude, she never gets to do anything. Like it's her twenty first birthday. We're trying to do something nice for her and like we just wanna go celebrate her. She has a babysitter. You don't even have to watch the kid tonight. Right. He's somewhere taken care of and like just let us have let us celebrate her. So that like 'cause she does she never gets to go do anything, basically. And he was like, Okay, well he left me alone and I'm like getting text messages on my phone. And it's like, where is Case at? And I'm like, You know where Case is at. He's with my parents. Well, I'm gonna go get him and you'll never see him again. So immediately that just that breaks me down 'cause some you He starts. For somebody who doesn't really isn't ever around and doesn't really act like they want something to do with their child, now all of a sudden you're mad at me and you want everything to do with them. you're just gonna keep him from me. And so I call my mom crying and she's like, What's wrong? And I was like, somehow Casey's dad found me in the middle of the mall and He's accusing me of cheating on him. he's threatening me and he's telling me he's gonna come get case from you guys and I will never see him again. And my mom was like, He already doesn't come down here. He's not gonna come down here to get his child. And he didn't. He didn't show up. ended up going out having the best night. Sounds like you really deserved it. Everybody kinda distracted me from everything else that was going on and we ended up we had a really good night. I came home and I decided I was gonna stay the night with my parents that night and then drive home the next day. And you know, we had already been arguing. I'm getting messages, threats on my phone, so it's like, you know, I'm gonna wait until the last pot like possible minute for me, like by the time it's time to be laying case down in bed. is when I'll be getting home. So I waited out all day with my parents and drove up there and then immediately when I got home there was just a big argument and I at this point I'd it's a blur and I couldn't tell you what even the argument was over anymore. I just remember he got really mad at me and started like just tearing up the house. Like he's punching walls, he's kicking things, he's throwing things, cases in the middle of all of this case of screaming 'cause he's two at the time, I think. Kids feel tension. Mm-hmm. And Especially those babies. They feel it. It was one of those nights where he got mad at me and took case and he did the, you know, You're a bad mom, you'll never see him again and he took him and went outside. But when he went outside he we had a big wooden door and he holding case, he slams that door, got mad because the door popped back open, kicked in a glass door, with Case in his hands. And I just remember Case screaming. And he was scared. I was scared 'cause it was like things in that book were happening in real life. So now everything's just escalating into worse. Yes, it's just it's getting worse and worse and everything's getting better. Yeah. but I remember taking pictures everything that was broken in the house that night. And I sent it to my mom and he took my phone away from me 'cause that's just one thing he did and now I have picture proof of things that are going on and he doesn't want that to get out. You know, my mom and dad together, they're on the phone and he's yelling at me and my mom was like, Hey, I need you to shut up. Like I need I need to talk to my daughter. Like what's going on? And he's yelling at me still. He's yelling at my mom because why does she care? Why is she on the phone? It's none of her business what's going on. It's there's a lot going on. Case is screaming and my mom was just like, y'all need to calm down. Which is like a regular thing. Like something would happen and my mom would have to call and like be a mediator. I don't even know what was said on the phone. But I just remember standing in a doorway of a vehicle trying to get case out. 'Cause he's screaming for me, I'm asking for my phone back. And I don't know if it was intention to do this, but he kept putting the truck in reverse and drive as I'm standing in the doorway to get my son out of a truck. And so finally I had to take a step back because I was like, Essentially if he continues to do this and I'm being stupid and standing here, the door is gonna knock me down. I think that's when I realized like, tonight could be the night that I die and I have a baby to save. I I don't need to do that. So I shut the door and I got in my car and I followed him down the road and he did what he normally would do when he would take case for me, case would become too much and he would bring him back to me. But this time it was just like I was following him down the road, like hoping that he would just like eventually get tired of hearing them scream and he'd be like, Fine, just go back to your mom Which is essentially what happened and so I told him I was like, Okay, give me like an hour. I'm gonna go either Yeah, we're gonna go eat and then we'll be back home and yeah, that is not what happened at all. I remember calling Kim, the physician that I worked for at the time, and I was like, Hey, is like the open door policy is it like still in place? And she's like, What are you talking about? And I was like, you know, told me that if I ever felt unsafe or like I just needed to get out that I could your door was open and she was like, Yeah, like what's going on? And I was like, Let me just s send you like I don't it's a lot. You're like, Well I've got a busted open door, so I need two seats. I need you to read that. Yeah, so it's like, let me just send you the damage of my house right now. And I was like, I just I don't feel safe tonight and I want to be able to take my baby somewhere and sleep and be safe and she was like No, you're at peace and I can b I'm safe. Yeah, and she was like, Yeah, and like come on and she was like, I'll actually meet you somewhere and I like, I don't feel comfortable stopping anywhere. Like she lived probably thirty minutes away from where I lived. And I was like, I just I just wanna drive. And she was like, well, you know, the bridge at my that you have to exit to to get to my house. And I was like, Yeah. And she was like, I will have somebody meet you at that bridge in case he's following you. She was like, they will get they will duck in behind you to stop him and you can just come onto the house. And I was like, okay. And that's what Case and I did and we We left. I turned my phone off. went to her house and she was like at that point sh Kim was telling me, she was like, I think it's time that you go home. And I was like, No. I like that's not what I wanna do. I feel like I finally have found people that I like get me and understand me and like I don't wanna lose y'all. And she was like, You'll always still like have us, but you Basically w what she was trying to get out is you don't know what's gonna happen if you stay up here. And so she was like, You just need to go home. God bless Kim, that's all I'm gonna say. I was like Okay, and she had started putting things in place that night. she had already contacted a lawyer for me and it was just like in the morning, this is what I need you to do. You're gonna go here, you're gonna sign these paperwork so that you can take your baby across the state lines with you. Like something in order to protect me from somebody saying that I kidnapped my child. So I had to go It was basically like a temporary order that I had to go get signed. She already like that very night that everything happened, already had things in place for me the next morning to come and have things signed so that I could make it back home safe. And I'd been in contact with my parents, so they're like, We'll be there first thing in the morning. Kim, she was like, 'cause I was like, I also have to like somehow quit my job in the middle of all this. actually Kim's daughter ended up babysitting case for that morning. I went worked half a day. And half of that day was just me telling the CEO of our office, Hey, this is what's happening. They told me then and there they're like, We understand. And they're like, if you ever do decide you want to make your way back this way, it was like you still have a job here if you ever want to come back. Like we would hire you back is basically what they told me. And I don't know, I just still felt like my world had ended and it was just like still questioning God why did I have to go through all of this? And then I don't know, it's I didn't find peace in anything until I was like Probably twenty four. And I'm like, you know, God can take tragedy and he can like he can build something out of it. But it's also just like trusting that he he's never forgotten you. While you may feel like he wasn't there, like his hand is still always because there's a lot of things that could have happened. And like looking back now, I'm like, well. I was protected. yeah. That didn't happen to me. And so like it who else can it be? It has to be God. and so then it was just like I kind of went for a while like Just feeling like God hated me and then just like standing in church one day and he's like just So I think like twenty three, twenty-four is like I'm twenty-five now, so yeah, I was t I was twenty-three years old and that's like where I really feel like I have just like surrendered everything. And God has opened so many doors since all of this. like the workplace that I'm at now, just like the friendships that I've built and I have the nurse practitioner that I work with now is like We talk a lot of Jesus. And it's just like he's just placed a lot of people in my life to just like make me stronger and help me to help other people grow. And I think well a lot of it is also there's something that like connects us and then we're able to just like and a lot of it is trauma and the things that we've been through and we've been able to just like hey like Have you ever thought about praying? you know, a lot of it right now is God has a plan. We may not know what it is. Like you're sure it says. Yes. And you know, just putting your full trust in that because there's no way I could have gone everything that I went through if God's hand wasn't in it. I have to add that I think hearing your story, it's amazing to hear that you were never spiteful. you never threw case in his dad's face. You know, were threatened a lot of times, but it's like you stayed and you wanted to try to work it out. And you never were malicious about it. It's like God's love was in you. Yeah, I don't think I ever used case. but I think that there was also times that I was probably I was bitter. which is expected. but also at the same time it's just like let's build this together. Just be who I know that you can be or that you should be. And like we could we could have made things work and but it just So we don't know what God's plan is, but we do know is that He's got a greater plan than we can imagine. and from your story, you know, I'm just what I'm hearing is as soon as you let go of it, God took it away from you, right? And he's like You if you'll trust me, I'll take care of it. God is so amazing and that's what we want y'all to get is through these stories of just brokenness, trauma, hurt that he's there. He'll send you the right people and it's like people you don't even know. It's like hearing your story about Kim. God bless that woman. Yeah. Like she stepped in and knew I I've been there. I don't want you going through this because this is what can happen and lead to. So And a lot of it was like I was just like, we're not Ever gonna get to that point and then the point was there. Right. And sometimes maybe she might have wanted to tell me I told you so. And hey, listen to me. But we all have to learn on our own pace. And I know for me I had to suffer a lot because I'm bullheaded, thick headed. Like it doesn't get through very easily, but once it does, I'm like, I got it. One thing my dad, he's like instilled like independence and like she's tough. She's strong willed. Well didn't he say or don't you say that you're his prettiest son? I am his prettiest son, yes. 'Cause he has no sons. My sister got to be the girl. I had to be the guy. And so and sometimes I'm like, my dad set me up. But out of all of it, I think the most beautiful thing is that little boy. Yes. And I would have to second what you said and say the most beautiful thing to me is the grace. And you can see it not just I mean it's Jesus' grace, right? God's grace, but it comes through him and you see it that it worked its way through your dad and through your mom and it gets to you and then you're working your way down the case. Hoping to instill it in the case, yes. It's that ripple effect that just keeps going. To every single person and that's why these stories are so important, is because who it'll reach and and the things that Jesus does, right? 'Cause that's it's all Jesus that got you to here. No. It wasn't me by myself. It wasn't my parents. It wasn't necessarily Kim who brought me here, yeah. But it was all through him and you see his his workings and his dealings. And it's just It's like Romans eight twenty eight. God works all things for his good and it's what he's That's he's doing. Absolutely. Amen. Amen. And I don't feel like my story is like Your Dad felt the same way and it's like also at the same time, like I know it is I know how traumatic it was for me and I know how to like look back and just like see how everything like played out and how God had his hands and everything. But it's also just like do people really care? But also at the same time, I'm like there could be somebody else that is walking. And going to the And the same shop through. There is. I promise you somebody's going through the same thing. There's sometimes I feel like ev I work in pediatrics right now and so I see even younger people finding out that they're pregnant and I'm like, man. And the beauty of that is, of you going into this, is that you can share God's love to them every single day. I actually have a like a mom, a patient mom. right now and she had a baby at seventeen and I just like I was doing a little hill poke on the baby and getting some blood and I try to make comments and I'm like, Hey mom, how old are you? And she was like, I'm seventeen and I'm like, Are you still going to school? And she's like, No And I'm like, You should and she was like, I can't and I'm like, Yeah, you can I was like he here I am like I did I was like I didn't get pregnant until I was eighteen but I still went to college. Yeah. And I'm like, you and her parents are great. They come to the appointments with her and I'm like, You have help. And I was like, Don't put your education aside because you feel like yes, you still need to be a parent, but you still have to do something for yourself too. And you can't provide for that child if you're not doing something. I'm like, at least go get your G E D or something and then continue. I'm like, I here I am, I'm twenty five, almost twenty six years old and I'm fixing to graduate with my RN degree. I've already gone to L VN school. I'm already working as an L VN and I'm like, you can you can do hard things, I promise you. you got it. And she'll tell me, she'll be like, remember that conversation and I'm like, 'cause the baby's nine months now. And I'm like, Yeah, and she was like, I'm I'm gonna go get my GED and I'm I'm gonna you like almost like you've inspired me some so it's like I can inspire people. Just sometimes I don't know how to have those conversations. Yeah. And it's the next one is, hey, Jesus? Yes. And so that's but I think that's the why you went through a lot of it is so you could be such an encouragement because like we talked before, you said you like to help people and this is your way. This is how you can help 'cause you can connect, 'cause you've had the same story. and that's it's a beautiful story and and thank you so much for telling us the story. Guys, thank you for listening and for and for watching and and and you know you can see Jesus Throughout the whole story, and that he's never left and he'll always be there. So that's the one thing you can take home. Take it to the bank. Jesus is gonna be there. And in this case, you're blessed with a case. and so that's the case. But guys, again, like I said, thank you. Please like, share, subscribe, follow the Father's proxy. It's how we get the word out, it's how we tell more people about Jesus. And that's the whole point of this: is to tell folks about Jesus. Check us out on YouTube. Or you can listen to us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. We challenge you to share your story. We want to hear your story. So reach out to us. You can DM us on Facebook or you can shoot us an email at thefathersproxy at gmail.com. Let's share your story. It'll connect with someone and let's bring them to Jesus. Get plugged into a church. That's the other thing is we we do this as a way of fellowship, as a form of fellowship, but we come to church for fellowship as well. And that's that's how we get stronger in our walk. It's by other people helping us carry the way. We gotta have mat carriers. And this is one of my mat carriers right here is Jamie. but the mat carriers comes from a story in the Bible where these friends carried one of their friends friend to Jesus and they cut a hole in the roof and said, Hey, we're gonna get him to Jesus any way we can. Desperate times called for desperate measures and they proved that and he said, Your y'all's faith has healed him and it's it's a beautiful, absolutely testimony. So get a mat carrier, as Joby Martin would say. Come see us at 7th in Main. that's where we have our Mat carriers. We have two services. We have a 9 a.m. and a 1115 a.m. We also also have the live stream. So if you can't make either one of those, maybe you're out and you're traveling. Check us out on the live stream. If you've got an internet connection, you can watch and listen. And but we really highly encourage you to come in and get that real fellowship because you'll it'll it'll affect you in more ways than you can imagine. Awana is a pretty big deal around here, as you heard from Kaylee and Christie a couple episodes ago. but a wana is is for the children and it's to get them to where they can learn about Jesus. So it's we have that on Wednesday nights. The meal begins at 5 15. I wana starts at 5 45 and ends at 720. The meal is for everybody, for the whole family you can come and eat and then you don't have to worry about food that night and you're all good. There's also a Romans class which we deep dive into a lot of things in there and there's youth classes. So there's something for everyone here. We have the men's Bible study. It's on Sunday nights and it's 7 p.m. Yeah, at 7 p.m. Locations vary. If it's not here at the church, it'll be at a home and it's listed in the bulletin. You check that out. See it on Facebook. I think we'll have it on there as well. There's also a women's Bible study. And Kaylee's gonna tell you all about it. We also have a women's Bible study on Sunday evenings. It starts at five and ends at six. Who leads that Bible study? Elaine. And is it it's here at the church? Yes, in the portable. In the portable. Gotcha. and last but not least, we have second annual lead like a real man conference coming up. it'll be in February. We don't know the exact time and date. To be determined, but we're gonna figure that out. Our youth minister, Colby Rich, who is the who is the author of Lead Like a Real Man, and he is the Call to Lead podcast. He hosts the Call to Lead podcast. So I'm definitely looking forward to the next one. I can't wait, it's gonna be good. You wanna end us in a closing prayer? Absolutely, brother. Heavenly Father, we just come to thank you so much for just Kaylee just sharing and being so vulnerable and just sh sharing so many That you just had your hand in, and we thank you so much for no matter how many times we stray away, no matter how many times we question you, Father. You draw near us and you take care of us and you clothe us in your love and you show us your grace. And just I thank you so much for exemplifying that grace that we can show it into others. Thank you so much for people that just come into our lives, like guardian angels that just try to lead us on the right path, and that always leads back to you. And we just thank you so much for my brother Brian, Norfolk, and everybody in here. We thank you for 7th and May. You for our church and we thank you for everybody. And we just thank you, everybody that's just clicking on this and listening to this. We just encourage you and we hope that this touches your heart and brings you closer to Jesus because that is our final mission. We are born and we it is our life to go and make disciples. And we just come humbly before you in your Son's precious name we pray. Amen. This is the Father's Prox where we are. Pro XY.