Sina: Hello, ihr Lieben, wir sind zurück und mit mir ist wie immer mein Co-Host Alina. Hallo Alina, wie geht's? Alles fit? Sehr gut. Ja, wie war die Woche, wie geht's? Bei mir? Alina: Hi! Hi, hi, good? Ach ja, alles schick. Was gibt's neues? Yeah, it's Emma. Sina: It a very intense week, So, really a bit horror-like. And the classic was, the was ill. And that from Monday to Sunday. So really whole week. It started with us to ⁓ the vaccination So she her child vaccinations. And then she had a vaccination at So quite normal, with a bit of fever. We didn't think all. But then she had the Tuesday fever. Of course, you can't her hospital. Wednesday she had a fever. And then we thought, what's going Because it shouldn't And she the complete Thursday fever and Thursday night. Then we to the doctor. And he had a bit of an So it's not necessarily a vaccination reaction, it happened and fell And that's was. What she had, it had nothing to do was something called three-day fever, which five days You can google it if you're interested. any case, she had five days of then the fever went away and Then she a skin stroke. It was also noticeable that she this virus. And yes, was just very, very exhausting. So I was really worried at Because the beginning I all the time, somehow she doesn't this vaccination. It was the first time that she for so long. So normally she had a little fever, but never longer than a day. And it was just for us. It's super hard to get because we don't grandparents around. We a nice circle but they are all working. Nobody can in We have a big struggle with work. Carlos is employed. He has less flexibility than I as independent. Even if he a great company, are parents and they are very understanding. He can relatively flexibly, but he is a bit bound than me. Carlos worked during the day, 8 to 5, and I was with the little When the little one slept, which she didn't she was constantly awake, I was... We and then late at night. It was incredibly exhausting. We also slept very badly because she constantly awake. It really exhausting and we were happy that it over Fever stopped on Friday, but she still this skin rash. She was incredibly fragile. I thought, wow, this is a different baby. She was to carried around the time. She's already 11 kg. It very hard to carry time. But when she was she started to cry. I was very thirsty after this week. It took out of my rhythm. Last week everything was... Alina: one. Sina: I was in perfect timing with the editing of the podcast episodes. I was in perfect timing with my customers. Everything went I'd say, working-wise, really good week, really good calls. But then the crash and now I'm everywhere. So, yes, that's a bit drag, you know, until everything re-edited. But... Alina: Yeah, sure. Sina: The important thing is she's fit again. She's the old again and it just me feel so relieved. And yeah, we go on. Alina: Yeah. But would have thought, yes, yes, of it's course intense. I have say, I think we two very different children, because the phases in which my daughter was were really always the more So because she just lot. Yes, when she was that was never really bad, have to say, she just slept. Sina: Is it? Alina: You could them and letters that they would for long time, longer than two hours. And things like Especially in the first year, it rather rare, but then she fell asleep. And I did my home office and stayed at home. She just slept. Sometimes she was on me and sometimes I on child's in the carriage, my and my laptop had a... Sina: Hmm. Alina: I had a high-heeled desk and I made my calls and it was pinned. It didn't either, but that's And I I understand that it's with who get because you automatically your income if you don't do Maybe not directly, but... terms of of course. And would have thought that it would easier because you're actually covered. So... Sina: It depends on how you up independence. I actually only with retainers. So it might be too far but I get a small amount from my customer and for that I all the services. So I'm not per hour. So... Alina: Yeah. I just thought it Carlos to stay because you're office and then you're just insured. Sina: Do you sick? Alina: Well, sure. To childhood. Sina: Yeah, I think that's what he's not doing He's in evening or... It's a bit like... You know, a company is too flexible. They say, do it later or come online whenever you That's the pressure. And we're very grateful for this flexibility. Alina: Yeah. Sina: And he's also very nice with the situation, but I think in a bigger company it's more like you're an incurable disease. So that's how you it. If your daughter is ill, you get an incurable disease. Alina: I the start-up but first of Hanna slept, so it wasn't bad. And second, I was an operations manager and everything together, all the lines. That means if I hadn't done at the whole thing have down. That means doing was also not option. But I have say, now I it a little differently. And well, Hanna's dad, he can just as sick, he the child sick. Sina: Mm-hmm. Alina: And he can't work from He doesn't have... He's either here or he's not here. Sina: Yeah. Cut. Yeah, wait a minute. So what's up She's great, like... And then it's good again, you know? Also nee, sie nicht so, wenn sie jetzt nicht durch mega durch heult. Um, no, that's I'll it once. Okay. Carlos. Okay, I have to take a Alina? Alina: Later. Sina: First of all, Hello. Alina: Yes? Hi, I'm here again. Yes, me too. So here it the connection is being made. I'm sure your internet connection is Oh wait, what? My internet? Sina: Hi, ich bin nochmal da. ⁓ you just out? Alina: I think that's good. Sina: Yeah, you're out. Maybe click on the link. I time it's my you Alina: Yeah, okay. Sina: I a little I knew it, she didn't drink before and then I thought, why does she so little? And now she whole thing away. Then straight into deep sleep. you I'm alone now, I can't her in room, if she shouts, then she me to the kitchen. Then she gets a little awake again. Alina: Na gut, schläft sie jetzt aber. Okay. No, good, aber dafür gehst du jetzt schnell. Sina: Yes, it was set. Okay, then... Very good. Then I would say, cut, and continue. And cut. Yes, but she's fit again now, and that's the main thing. Alina: Okay, very nice. ⁓ Sina: Okay, dann würde ich sagen, sollen wir die Stories reinspringen. Okay, I'm really excited. I've out some really nice ones. Let's go! Alina: I'm excited! Sina: Then, then. ⁓ Point of view. Boarding of an international flight that has delay. The line comes to complete silence because a mother, although felt 50 times said in a loudspeaker, that everyone should their own pass and their own boarding card in simply with all passes through the check-in and so that whole system gets through each Your son, well known as an adult, has somehow stayed and is sitting with a face to look on while we all wait for the boarding staff to the mother in plane. I could already imagine how that would if he had a wife. Just sitting there confused and orientation. Can I start reading Sorry. Alina: Yeah, all good. Sina: Ahem. Point of view. Boarding of an international flight that is delayed. The line comes to complete silence because a mother, although felt 50 times about the speaker was said that everyone should own passport and his own boarding card in simply with all passes through the check-in and so that whole system is Your son. Well noticed. A grown man has somehow stayed and is sitting with a face to the abyss while we all wait for the boarding staff to the mother in the plane. I could already imagine how that would be if he had a wife. Just sitting there confused and without orientation while she's of Mothers, it! Bring your sons along when it to things selbst zu erledigen, bringt Euren Söhnen bei, grundlegende Dinge selbst zu erledigen und Ihr Leben ohne Euch zu meistern. Alina: Which one is for that? Sina: That's my statement. Yes, I like too. Alina: I asked myself how it all happened, if there were more children involved or if it just the mother who went her own with all the things and let them sit because when she's a caring mom, she usually her children sit alone. You know? So somehow... I know. Yeah, yeah. Sina: Well, it's not a child. It's apparently... I'm about a 16-year-old, 17-year-old, where the mother everything and has all the passes and whatever. Alina: An adult man could be 20 old by I don't know if anyone defines I'm just if she's caring, like she's just... If you say she didn't her son on own, because that's coming out of this message, I'm just what she's when she got on the plane Or they argued and said, look how you're that's funny. Sina: Ja, ich nehm mal an. Yes, I know, maybe it just happened. He said, I'll of it and you follow me. But he didn't manage Then they said, well, where's your passport? And then, yes, my mom already showed And so on. So was probably just chaotic. Alina: Okay. Yeah, crazy, okay. ⁓ Mm. Sina: Of I can sign. And I think that this is still an issue. That many mothers, their children, girls and boys, but also depending on the culture or how the mother is, only the boys, a lot of away. They all the obstacles. so that the boy is relatively independent. And then with the thought of, well, first of the mother and then the wife. Alina: Yes, I don't I wouldn't right now. I know the environment. But we have a lot of girls in the environment. But apart from the gender, it's true that a man difficulties finding a woman who his demands. if he doesn't realize that he things himself. Sina: And that is just very, very closely to the parent's Alina: as well. Yes, I really a bit difficult to get because I don't it from my parents' house and I think it's this classic, okay, I'm someone who is of certain things and I don't think about what could wrong. I think that's part it, too, because I sometimes like to about men, because sometimes it really out that only from the wall to the table is thought. That's one of my classic speeches, which unfortunately always happens. I'm sorry. And that could also be connected the that they were trusted in their youth and that they later... Well, of course, never a way out. So always more okay, I'll this, then it'll faster. Sina: Hmm. Alina: And that's for everyone. When I things away, I the children the opportunity to develop or do themselves. So it's the end of but rather that it will be fine. But it's not just so well. No, someone for me. Or someone who thinks has maybe one or the other risk. But there are also men who think and sometimes a little bit... are over-carrying, so they exist too. And of course are women who over-carrying and say, ⁓ no, before this wrong, I'd ⁓ it, because think he's not it right. And that's because there are, partnerships, develops that then, so yes, that's true. In partnerships it is often the that it on. Sina: Yeah. Absolutely, yes. I think, you there are two topics. First, that the mother does for herself, that she wants her son or her prince. And everything for him. Organizing at home. The typical mother who for the 18-year-old. over caring mother who never the leap. Because at point, least from puberty, some responsibility should to the young man. And at the same time, what you say, that it is sometimes like that. And are degraded. They no, I'll it now. It'll faster. He with the passes. Then it'll all chaotic. I'll it. Or he'll probably the passes and so on. And yes, you two paths. And yes, in the end, the child will as an adult himself, because it will simply problems to a partner who it. But also, I say, work, all living situations, is simply not advantageous. Totally. as I said, That this is only for men, I wouldn't it like You have some cultures where, I'll say, men have higher status in the family and that they the little princes and them everything done. And for the girls it's Danja help me the kitchen. But you generally with Generation Z. I don't know, with the kids that exist now, I see that a lot of are a bit over caring, when I compare that to our parents. I know that my family at least, we were into the ice cold water and we had to very early and that for everyone in life. im Leben. Alina: I think it's like or Generation Z. And I think with Generation Alpha it's not like that because... because Generation Z are not our children. Our children are Generation Alpha. And that's how we this topic, think. But it's sometimes hard to classify. Because you it very strict in those years. Sina: Hmm. Weis ich nicht. Alina: But, well, it last time. Sina: You have these helicopter parents, they are a phenomenon that a bit Alina: And now we are the light tower parents. Sina: What that again? Alina: These the parents who give direction, but who shine and say, okay, you have to that direction. They show you way, but you have to alone. So don't around them all the and try to save but you know the way. Yes, I'm four years ahead you. At least that's learned But who knows, maybe there will the next phenomenon. But that was last thing I read. Sina: Yeah, totally exciting. What I've in life is many grown-up men who by everyday life One anecdote I have is that I was on a business trip and... ⁓ with a worker who is almost 10 years older me. 5 or 6 years, I know. We all to shopping together so that we all cook in I was with the person in the supermarket and I had the feeling that this person was first time alone in the supermarket. He was so helpless. I think I 36 years that I really felt like the mother, do this and do that and whatever. And he was really like such a helpless child and he was actually standing over me. So he had a higher position than me. And I really thought, my God, what kind of giant baby So you immediately noticed that Alina: Good. Sina: probably the mother bought and later the wife. And that somewhere it somehow stuck. And I've that so times now. As I said, don't to say but professionally he did a good job, more or less. I it but with everyday things, typical women's maybe. completely overwhelmed. I also an anecdote from a man I know, an engineer, highly educated and a very high position, but was, I would say, of a shirt or something. That then, as as the wife was sick, I totally panicked. ⁓ Who would my shirt for my meeting tomorrow? An engineer who couldn't iron himself. I that was crazy. First it my mom, then was my wife. It completely over top that he himself. That's it's so important that men and women live a time alone. I think that's a key factor that you don't from parents' with a girlfriend, but live in a flat or alone so that they can a bit of feel for Especially when you a strong mother who probably also... I don't want to the mothers here. It's a different mindset and different generation, but they were very, very kind. Alina: Yeah. I think it's a topic like In this case, didn't the need to with And if you're there time, and I don't it any way, because I have very little practice example, ironing So would have to a moment to it properly and I just don't to do But... So I think I can imagine that at the moment it's like, shit, how do I this now? Because you're confronted with something you never had or something you're is probably already happening But... Sina: But look, with the ironing, example, so with me it's also like that, I iron very rarely because I just barely have things that you have to iron. And if I have iron, then I that first. But in this case it's a person who every day to the office. So because you high position, he actually a suit and a shirt I don't know. And if you then that it and you're completely dependent on I that a bit... borderline. Alina: Yes, of would to your own claim at some and say, okay, I want to so I'll of myself. But as I said, if I don't have then I won't And that's with a men. So with a lot of men it's like They certain things, like maybe cooking certain things that may not difficult at But then they should somehow my tomato and then it's absolute problem. So then it's like, I have no idea if I'm this right, and then the Uchi out, who then says, I can't you can do it much better, you that with me. And then, yes, then that's the point where either you say, come I'll it quickly, or you just say, no, can it quickly or something. But if that's then at the, yes, so I definitely agree with the point that it shouldn't be at the woman's to this way, to say, No, you that now, because then I like a Nazi again. So... That's really unsexy, Sina: Yeah. Absolutely, I very unsexy. When I on dates and I notice that he is bit incapable of alone, I him an absolute ab-turner. And I don't to a mom. I want mom, from a real child and not from a mid-30s where I say... Look, please the tomatoes properly or whatever. And then I that just incredibly exhausting. yes, somewhere they can almost sometimes not do much for So I don't to it for granted, they had enough time to learn but it's it really from the parents' that's I think their appeal is so strong. Please, mothers, educate your boys to strong, independent men who can the 17, 18, 19 without their mother the Because we will all it. Alina: I also a little bit initially that if you a lot for your child, I think it comes from the generation or maybe from an environment where mothers are mainly housewives. I think if that is the case, you often have this own claim to say, That's my job. Sina: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Alina: And that they often say, okay, the boy should study school, should of these things, they are important, I'll it quickly for them. So that they don't see it as their duty and their need, because that's their job. And I don't to it badly, because I can understand that. Sina: Yeah. Alina: But little things help to find your into adult life. Or if you're really out of you don't have to yourself everything. I'm also a pro at Or in the WG. That was my thought. Sina: Yeah, total. Good. I would say nice start, then we to the next story. So... or do you have anything else to add? I what to ⁓ Alina: As I said, being and so on, that's always a thing for many parents who it as main job. I so. I had a thought Sina: you Wait, think I have a thought too. Alina: Thank Sina: I think you already used this Alina: ⁓ I have one more thought. Sina: Mm-hmm. Alina: What you might have add, and then comes the gender issue. Can I talk Okay. Which I might again. And maybe the gender issue a little bit to that. Because I've had the feeling that girls, especially at 15, 16, that they very strongly for autonomy. Sina: Los! Alina: I think I was very happy to my own living space back and I didn't to forced I didn't my own bathroom, but I to with cleaning because I a sink in my room. I my own order and autonomy. I think that was the difference to my brother back Sina: Mm-hmm. Alina: But I can't really compare it because it was of the on and had autonomy there. But I know that I personally have been myself hard to able my own thing and I think that's how it's And I know if there is a difference between boys and girls. Sina: Hmm. I think that my side was also like that, that 14, 15, 16. So for me was always a dream come And that was something where I very, very firmly. And sorry, I have to start Sorry, I'm out Alina: I Sina: Yes, totally. I do that there is a strong difference between boys and girls. For me it was definitely like that. I would say it started with 14, 14, 15, 16. I for autonomy. There was definitely a topic that I really to off. Preferably already at 16. In the end it a few more years, but that... I was very pushed to be able to For me, was actually not even that my parents Because I also studied in the city. So I have with my parents, but I just had this total autonomy. And then... I this, I'd other way I can't for all men, but for some men I've it didn't sense. On the contrary, they thought, no, I'll at Hotel Mama. I always cooked, I the laundry done. And then was more of a reverse case, that the parents said at 24, please take it easy now. It's getting really uncomfortable. Or pay rent. But yes, I definitely see a difference. I can't tell where it comes from, whether it's from education. Alina: I definitely that time. I wanted to take Sina: Yeah. I always to leave the And the end I really pulled through. But I also had some partnerships. I don't want to into details, but as I described earlier, Hotel Mama was extremely excited. extremely. So that was so far that the mother actually the bed in morning. That was really intense. would have, I don't was still super young I somehow it go But no, today I'm standing in front of a man 30 years old or something. Alina: ⁓ god. There I know stories That's the case. But the environment is completely different. It's a completely different environment. And I've noticed that. Everything was The girlfriend moved into the house with the parents. And everything was in one place. And I always say... Sina: Mm. Alina: But in retrospect, I realized that after a years. We're talking about a relationship that lasted six, seven, eight years. I only realized And afterwards I thought, well, girl, you've done it. It's crazy. I think crazy. And she really tried to fight for autonomy, to for her own area. to say I'm here now, I'm this and that now because she wanted to alone. But she didn't expect him to do but she wanted to do And yes, I think... Sina: Also stop, man, hat sich ja quasi mit der Mutter von ihm gebettelt, wer jetzt die Wäsche macht. Habe ich das richtig verstanden? Meine Fresse. Alina: For example. Well, So if you the choice who the laundry, then you probably yourself rather than your mother-in-law does right? Sina: Absolutely, it be desirable if he too, so that they it together. Alina: Well, of of course. But just an extreme, how that can But as I was never the demand, there was also not the expectation of him to that. That's just a very, very classic role model, I'll say. Or whatever you it classic. But that's just the And I think, okay, awesome, if they can then that's the Sina: Mm. Alina: And she sent out a vocalist, I met a bar. It's a title. Yeah, what was that? Sina: Also, er setzt sich auf jeden Fall ins gemachte Nest. Alina: Yes, the expectation of the woman is, in the comparison. And if you with the mother, who is the better provider, then it really crazy. But... Sina: scheiße Yeah, so it's a jackpot He always cooked either by his mom or by new wife. They probably battle each who makes the tastier dish. Boah, no, it's really... a nightmare. Are they still together? Alina: there. Sina: Sorry, but the woman has something... Alina: But honestly... No, but I think she still the claim. She still to that She still to the housewife at end of the day. So if she wants then that's the But that was crazy. And they also young. Let's say And... Yes. I think little bit self-employment hurts someone. Sina: Okay. Okay, yeah. I also have the feeling that you can only through when you young As I I similar situations, but I 22. But if you it on until you're in mid-30s, I find it curious. Also, from the type of his side. Alina: I think when you pull it's generally like that. You always have to... Well, that's the last thing I want to say. But I think it's generally like that. When you pull you to adapt bit because everyone different demand. So there's a different expectation there. That's kind of logical when you from a different household. But it's cool when you start at zero. So when you don't start with, okay, I was home now. I everything done and now I'm my girlfriend and now it's time Maybe if there a few more in like a flat, living something that. And in best case, maybe you've a bit at yes, because I'm it in a way that there are more working mothers or working parents. Or more housewives. It's a bit different The rolling distribution, the rolling pictures. Sina: total. Alina: Office. Okay. I we've ⁓ Sina: Okay, schöner Start! Dann würde ich sagen zur nächsten Story. We live in Japan and have just out a so-called Mada Hotel. My wife has a post-apocalyptic depression. Our son is three weeks old now and it really wasn't easy. It is very stressful but in Japan it is a completely different house number. We live in a one-bedroom apartment, which means none of us has a place when switch For many fathers, unthinkable, even for me. So I my 70-hour week, which 40 hours are real work and the rest of sitting around and waiting for the boss to home so that I can too. Then we about the so-called mother hotels that exist all over Japan. These basically hotels that designed to help prevent postpartum depression, to both parents to in the most months after birth. Most facilities are only allowed Some have fathers, but at certain hours. The staff is around the clock. The and the midwives take of the baby while the mother sleeps, takes of recovery, goes to the spa or gets a massage. All included. When I my wife got a big book, almost a menu. Whenever she wants to eat or drink the staff it to In the are also five extra meals that are cooks on site. Since we in Tokyo, almost the entire stay was by the city administration. My wife has been three days now and plans to two weeks. It is unbelievable to see how much in this time. Since the was I visit and we could just be a couple again. Eat a movie, talk how we both after birth. It made us think about how widespread such offers are actually other countries. The concept is hardly known You can hardly imagine how many personal tragedies and broken marriages could be if governments would such facilities worldwide. And more supported rest stops are until our son is four months old. Then we at private options. A bit more but for a short stay here and there affordable. Alina: That's interesting. I've never heard I don't much Japan. Except for the classic image of the one room thing. Shibuya and those tiny things. Cool. Sina: Pan dich auch! I thought the concept was great. Japan, as he described it, has lot of toxic aspects, in the work culture and in Tokyo. They hardly have holidays. I read somewhere that very bad if you holiday days and a 70-hour week. In the regular office jobs, is the rule and the time a very crowded city. think Tokyo is the biggest city in where the rent prices are at their and you as as possible. I think there's for very few people or you live outside and have to your 70-hour job for two hours until you're the city. And... And that's why I the concept they introduced is totally brilliant for Japan. Alina: Yeah, well, okay. Sina: I think they didn't without a reason. They probably had a very high rate of post-portal depression. I think it's brilliant. Absolutely awesome. Alina: Maybe also a return or something. I mean, you hardly an apartment anyway and that everything is a bit of work or in general, it's also... I'm not sure whether it's China or Japan, but there are also many where relationships are difficult to I think that's part it. And I that's a very interesting concept. I also thought that it's shame that men don't their children that I have to admit that I a shame. Sina: I that's a shame. Alina: But if you think about this saying, to raise you need a whole village. So that it's just a community project and not always just to these two parents' parts, the whole thing. I think that's where it gets a little closer. Because you have to to after three weeks, I'm now my child a foreign hand. He has to do that Sina: Mhm, stimmt. Das ist ja auch, ja, ist in halbem Tag tatsächlich ja weg. So ein bisschen, ne? Also bei den Hebammen und bei den Krankenschwestern, so wie ich es jetzt verstanden habe. Ja, also ich seh's, äh... Alina: I think they also children, think children are generally in Asian countries, think, also full of... I think they love children. think that's pretty cute, I don't but I think... Sina: I think many countries love children. If there a concept in Germany, or in Spain, that I could go to a hotel and my weekend there... I definitely it in consideration, have tell Especially if a party has so the man is at home time and can practically take you. Or cooks say, or whatever. But yes, I know, I think it's very, very deluxe and I have say that I struggled right after I I was almost 24 hours. I two days straight. I was completely exhausted when Nimaara came and this birth was And after it wasn't like, okay. You can well now and can rest, but it goes this. So you have to rest and that every two hours. Maras had she was bit too light. That's why we her every two hours and rest and that in the first week. And I just really noticed... in the first month, that my body and my strength just come to a limit. Because I never had such a break I would have to 24 hours a But that just doesn't the silence to I needed at the beginning, it's super intense and everything nice and good, but... I definitely lacked a time and it would have great for I would say that my weekend bed wasn't so... strict as I have So many people say, okay, I to several weeks and so on. But it so stressful with a newborn at home that I lot early on. Because I a baby and because I a good birth and was and so on. But in retrospect I would have liked to have lived and if I the opportunity to the city Barcelona to go to a lecture there, I that great. I would have done maybe not two weeks, but three days Brilliant. Alina: So think sleep is one thing. I think sleep wouldn't been my It wasn't anyway. It was always every two hours. It never changed. All the time. So have say that sleep is I a hook on Because I would been up and to shut up. Nobody can do But... Sina: Hmm. Alina: alone, these topics like, I don't to of the household, none of us have to of the household, or about food, or that you might get something brought or something. These are points that I many parents to There are even some that you like that and or that you get some household aid for a while and stuff that. But it's not the same because you Sina: Yeah. Alina: in your own four walls, have a completely different appeal than maybe in a hotel room where everything is maybe even barrier-free, where nothing is somehow, you where everything is somehow designed so that you only have to relax, you your baby with you and so on. I would that really cool. I had that sometimes, so I was 12 days after Hannah's birth. But it was all worrying. I just to go home. So I have my... this... this... this first baby blues, I it in hospital and thought, boy... And mean, dad couldn't all the time, he could have stayed but not permanently. It wouldn't have helped us, because then... Sina: May I have COVID by always, no? Alina: That was not the reason, but we in one room all the time. And you to say that didn't do to Both parents were sleeping in. Because I woke hours. Then Hanna had paint, because of yellow, under a blue lamp, that lit the whole room and also lamp noise. So it was summer and there is not much darkness anyway. That was stressful but I always good food during that time. And I'm Or I didn't to clean up, I didn't even up. Because I that room. So what You lie there and chill your bass. In the best case you can read or something. Otherwise you nothing to do except... Sina: one time. Alina: First to be because you have to there a bit. I think this peace, this I have to of nothing else but that, you don't at home. Because that's just, for that a home is too much of a community project in which everyone actually knows exactly their tasks Or one goes to work or Sina: Mm-mm. Alina: I might want to one the other because I want to something else than just the If the was little bit different, so that dad could and I my child with me. Maybe that's the maybe you can choose. Then I really celebrate, especially if it was paid and I would eat sushi of death in Japan. Sina: Yeah. Yeah. Hahaha Alina: How cool is that? That's cool. Sina: Yeah. ⁓ Alina: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sina: to some balance and she writes that after three days she has balanced and that two weeks before that. For us was like that, time together, Carlos and I. Carlos four months, me four months, so completely together. I again and again. because we for this newborn together and our tasks together. But as I I explained earlier, at the beginning of the first month, us both, definitely... ⁓ very very stressful. I imagined myself lying in bed and Carlos doing everything, but in the end it was very chaotic. And what you did, one party always slept out and the other one didn't, we didn't do We both stood up at Together. So the screamed, I was quiet. And Carles usually walked Mara until she fell asleep or changed her diapers or whatever. Of course, the disadvantage is that we were always so tired, but we both free time and we grew together and both parties know a little bit what's behind it, how much, how crazy it is to a newborn baby or a baby in its first year. Alina: Hmm. Yeah, well, I said, we didn't have time we had one or two months of time but he had to to work, he had to leave and he her when he got so that I could rest That was the thing. And when she was stilled honestly, I left and and then I I her sleep, or I her I her in bed, that was fine. But you're still awake. That's it. I don't I can remember There were a few moments when you left when someone slept But that was very rare. Sina: Mm. Alina: But yeah, getting didn't much sense to me. Sina: Yes, everyone has to find their own rhythm. Isn't there something like a mother-child cure I don't know if there is, but a cousin of mine did once. But don't know if it a newborn child. I think the child was a little older. But I definitely to think that this going in right direction. Alina: Mm. Hmm? That's the topic a little bit longer. You can 36 months in the first seven years of Parenting, first. And think you can mother-child care up to seven. Somehow. Yes. And then can also, I've thought it. But have ... You drive away with your child, like a kind Sina: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Was ist denn das? Alina: I it's like a youth hostel, but it's more like a facility where you keep your room and your child. And then are different activities and I think they either together, so that you can just on being or with your mothers or that the children are together. That's I heard but I've never with it. So you have to apply, there has to be a reason for it. Sina: Mm-hmm. Alina: And it's actually allowed because I think that's partially covered by the health insurance. But I can't that exactly, but I've about it before. Because it's cool when you to worry about your job and so on, but that it out the That's cool Sina: Mm. Yeah, totally. Alina: I think you part of Maybe not a lot, but you have to pay Sina: I wouldn't be It's the classic, maybe it years ago and now it's almost self-paying. But I have no idea about But definitely different from the model in Japan. Because the model Tokyo is almost fully worn and at the time... Alina: Hmm. Hmm? Sina: not only do some activities, but the mother is really taken of. What I cool is that the mother's is The mother is you have a really cool menu here, order whatever you want you can go to massage, to the spa. I think that's easy. Alina: Mm. That's pretty cool. Sina: It's very, very deluxe that it's something that's by the government. It's just, okay, we want to post-portal depression and that's just little bit group therapy or whatever, or a little help, but that you really start and say, okay, we'll it to a luxury to the mother. It's also very valuable, You just birth a child and we see how hard this work is and you get this support. So a totally inspiring model for the western countries, for Germany, especially with our political government, with the CDU and Friedrich Merz and whatever, it's very unlikely that something this will Alina: Hmm. Sina: So definitely not in the near future, because especially in everything that family politics, or family politics in general, completely down. Although we have a birth rate and hardly anyone wants children anymore, because the child's has 15 years and generally feels All the help is getting shortened more and more. And yes, you can take an example of Japan. Alina: I don't I would want out the window but I think the way is different. In general, have completely different lifestyles, which are also so far, so they just different approaches. And I think Japan, I think it's a Japanese island where people become the oldest in the world, I think. I think it's a Japanese island where, because... Sina: Hmm. Alina: Japanese people bit older, eat healthy and I think they a lot from So definitely a lot, that they just super old. So Japan has many things already so progressive. I also a book here, somehow, Iki Gai is also a Japanese way of life. Sina: Yeah, I know that. Yeah, Ikigai. Ich liebe Ikigai tatsächlich. Leses. Leses. Leses ist super gut. Alina: I haven't even read it yet. So, without going too deep I think it's a huge difference between Germany and Japan, going political topics. And that's why... Sina: Yeah, totally. Although Japan is always this country of contrasts because you all these knowledges and you have things like Ikigai and actually you see a lot of the nature-connectedness of the Japanese and this calmness, Exactly, this calmness, this accuracy, also that you... Alina: Exactly, there many out there. Sina: But it's done so perfectionistically well. But the time you also have this super toxic working environment. And have to you honestly, I would never want to to Japan. So definitely not to Tokyo. It would be a country where couldn't imagine living a year two. and to work because it would too hardcore for So I'm someone who very happy with his 30-40 hour week, with his 30 days of also to sleep and just do his job. But yes, as I corporate-like, I there 70 hours in office and they are somehow feeling only on a only at work and so on. It wouldn't worth Although it's definitely a super interesting city, where the Japanese culture is super inspiring, but I just see too many negative sides. Alina: I would like to visit to It be a destination Sina: I agree. I agree. Totally. Okay. Exciting. We can say that would still awesome if we in Germany. Alina: Okay. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, good. Sina: kommt nur nicht. Okay. next story. This story is a bit special. I will say something about at the beginning, okay? Women in Afghanistan have now officially lost all their rights. The situation reached a catastrophic tipping point from restrictions to a complete legal elimination. With the newly codified Decree 12, the regime domestic violence by abolishing the protection for women and made almost impossible to assaults without a male forefinger. The, in quotation marks, moral laws of 2026 were so far-reaching that they the absurd. The voice of a woman is now legally considered as avra, i.e. as intimate ploßstellung. This means that is forbidden to speak even with other women, even during prayer. This systematic gender apartheid has also humanitarian aid. Women are no longer for the UN or aid organizations and millions of people are access to the necessary medical care and food. Since the training of new doctors and heaths was fully implemented, the mortality rate rapidly. The world is witnessing how the existence of whole gender is being and on legal grounds. Yo. So, yeah, that's actually a Reddit story, which can on Reddit. But it's not a normal story, but it's a documentation of what's in Afghanistan right And I it again today and thought I just to get in, even if it's not... 100 percent fits to this storytelling format. But the topic of Afghanistan is me actually the extreme thing that happens in the world. That by far one of the things that sounds like science fiction horror. but many women in Afghanistan it is And I think that hardly anyone talks it. I find it so crazy that I don't anything in We hear lot about Palestine and so on. And that's all his right. But that's it was. that women are of all rights, that women are not to speak anymore. That's not discrimination anymore. a real apartheid we're experiencing. Women in this country have no protection or rights I it so incredibly dramatic and real. makes me super emotional, because I am mother and daughter myself, because I am a woman myself. And I a very, very high empathy for these women who are in this country. Yes, that I that really, really crazy. And I have a... a list of that are forbidden for women. So everything forbidden. School education ends after the sixth grade, university studies are forbidden, women's were from libraries, complete sealing of entire body and face, in the presence of men. Even news reporters have to their faces completely. No shoes to put As I just read, a woman is to public anymore. her voice is declared too seductive. She is not to the house without a husband. Of not traveling alone either. No fitness studios, parks, no beauty salons, no access to UN buildings, no women and the list goes on on. ⁓ that moment a lot of women die in the child's because there more tits. It's all really, really crazy. And I to with the very small range we have now, to little bit. Because I it's so bad and... Yes, generally, sometimes I think that. When I the shoes of these women, I think to myself, they do, you can't into words. Alina: Yeah. It's really like that. It's really medial... I know. I didn't it in that pronunciation. Well, because I have to say that I... Sina: ⁓ krass, ja. Alina: I I'm that of a Asche on my head, but that's I it's better that we talk it. or that we But that's not... There's some kind of uprisings or some kind of there or something, because I already thought that there very, very part somewhere. Because that's really... Especially with the Hebam and these child-bed themes, I like I to the Middle Ages. Those were themes from Middle Ages. Sina: Neh. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Alina: It's almost worse. I not almost, it's worse. It's... ⁓ Sina: Yeah. Alina: Yeah, we should about something like that. Definitely. Sina: Absolutely. Of course there is a sub-territorial. Maybe women who are secretly trying to escape. But you don't a chance to an opposition. It's the Taliban who at power. Alina: Hmm. Sina: And what I also so crazy is that these women didn't grow up that. The US government since 2000 until 2023, so 23 years. Although I say that I'm not so informed that I the dates, but somewhere in that direction. Alina: Hmm. Sina: This means a whole generation grew up women could to school, could certain jobs, etc. Of is still a conservative, Islam-based country. also had their limitations and certainly with strong discriminations. But general, the woman visible in society. And then comes... this shock and the Taliban take the power and women are simply being of any right. Suddenly they to hide and get their rights taken with the list I just mentioned. And you have to imagine that, Alina, women, for example, can't even somehow so Alina: in. Sorry, I know how it went in I just fell asleep. Sina: No problem. Meryl Streep wrote a speech about where she said that a cat has Afghanistan than a woman. Because a cat can sit on the window sill, feel sun on her skin, can through parks, freely, etc. It's really crazy. It's so hard. Alina: ⁓ man eyy ⁓ this is so hard Sina: And sometimes it shows how far a patriarchy can It's a hardcore case. But I'm watching... I've read the book Handmaid's Tale and I've been the series And so far a totally spaced out scenario. science fiction, horror, etc. ⁓ in countries like Afghanistan, don't care Alina: Yes, I always had a lot of... Especially something that children and little girls, happens in the world, subject of circumcision and so on. These things where I really, really, really... Difficult... So, what I can watch, what I really very, very hard. But yes, I just thought too. We talk... about rights or feminism on a level that for some. Where you really... I wonder what the overall political situation looks like. How you... That's actually... Exactly apartheid. That's already... Sina: to time. Alina: I I understand the circumstances and so on, I understand how the whole thing is connected and so on, but I think I find that so... almost... it's just cruel. And where should it lead? How far should go? And think, it shows that you have yourself a high level and that you to careful with the rights we have and them with our and feet, if that's the end result. Sina: Yes, well said, that's the final statement. What I would to about the topic, I don't want to too deep into but what I would is that it much higher medial value, that we hear it, that we encouraged that we women in Afghanistan, out the streets. Because at moment nothing happens. It's more accepted. Oh, Afghanistan, how But I it's on the same level as a genocide, where you have to from the United Nations, that 50 % of women... Alina: Yeah, can all. Does it? Yeah. Sina: In Afghanistan, any protection, any rights are taken away, could... sorry, 50 %... no, exactly, 50 % of the population. in my opinion, I know, the world should be here, or least all western countries, and I don't know, Afghanistan again. Alina: You mean 50 % of population, Not just women? Yes, okay. Sina: and women or the country. I know, but something has to happen. It can't just be accepted in the world that it's this It's super. Imagine a country, there would a country where all men would no rights at They to leave they only fully sealed, they are in public anymore. That's so absurd. And if I could to the other side, something would happen. Something would definitely... the United Nations or the USA or anyone else, I know, will make a rambazamba and intervene and not let But I the feeling that it's women and also Muslim women or the whole thing is an Islamic country, it's being tolerated and it's not even reported So that, for example, I say that you didn't really know it's just so crazy and you're not the only one. You only that out if you the topic. Alina: Yes, I have say, for me it's a bit... I think, Alina, what you your time That's also a thought I have. And then I thought, because I the point you have is really good, so you should really think If it were a country where women would honestly, think you would also, because of this patriarchal... the situation in the world, I think you would cut off supply. I don't would make any deals with them, you you seriously. And these things would just happen. I think you would just say, no, we don't cooperate because who are you, who do you Exactly that, right? Sina: Yeah. Yes, exactly. general, the Taliban are being accepted as government. I think a few months ago, Taliban had Afghan embassy in Berlin. Actually only for two or three months, then the whole thing fell because he put himself in the post. and then he was removed again. But starts with that is accepted that these ultra radicals in power. And then worst case, as soon as it some strategic value, because what do I know, something, no idea, Afghanistan maybe a strategic position or something, then probably also a good deal with the Taliban. I give that they women like shit and completely deprive them of all rights. Anyway, yeah, heftisches Thema. Alina: Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, ⁓ Sina: No, no, it's not. Anyway, thing is, have, example, there a time when everyone had to think for what to donate and research. I can only say I once donated for UN Women, because they had definitely applied for the position of women in Afghanistan. But how it now, whether they can anything. I because we read the story that there is no humanitarian aid That's you feel powerless. I would always say, can I donate Can I something? But from our position it is just like that. can from the outside. You can only annoyed and shocked. And think the only thing we can do is talk it. So to others, like here in this podcast, so people can little bit of Alina: Yeah, yeah, very good. Yeah, good point. any case, little more when around world. Sina: Oh, that's it is. Okay, then we're done. I would be very happy if you comment like to the stories, if you say, okay, we some points or you want to add So, feel to the comment function. And then I a survey in the podcast description for this episode. It's completely anonymous, you can fill out. It takes 30 seconds and will simply help us to improve the podcast, to the right topics. I be very happy and we'll you next time. Thank you. Bye! Thank you Alina. Alina: then, ciao ciao! Sina: Ciao.