speaker-0: Our first reading today is Psalm 15. O Lord, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy hill? Those who walk blamelessly and do what is right and speak the truth from their heart, who do not slander with their tongue and do no evil to their friends, nor heap shame upon their neighbors. In whose eyes the wicked and despise, but who honor those who fear the Lord, who stand by their oath even into their hurt, who do not lend money at interest, and do not take the bribe against the innocent. Those who do these things shall never be moved. We we're now gonna turn our attention to Matthew 18 and Jesus' teaching about how to deal with conflict. I very nearly made a adjustment and and preached this like a couple of weeks from now because I didn't think anybody was gonna show up on Labor Day. Well I was wrong, thanks. so Just hang on with me. But we're we're gonna you've heard this passage a million times, and my my intuition is that it doesn't make a whole lot of sense on its face, at least in the culture in which we live. But listen with me for the word of the Lord now. This is ge these are Jesus' words. If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you're listened to, you've regained that one. But if you're not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. And if that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the whole church. And if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Sounds bad. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven. Whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it'll be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.

speaker-1: Yeah.

speaker-0: The word of the Lord. Thanks be to God. Let us pray. Lord God, make us a people who know themselves to be reconciled to you. Make us a reconciling, forgiving people. Even when that is hard to do. And now may the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts be pleasing and acceptable in your sight, O Christ, our rock and our redeemer. Amen. So I thought that we had all agreed on the rule of threes, but it turns out we were wrong. Gloria Steinem died this week. Along with Wendell Barry, you should all read Jaber Crow. You will be better for it. I've purchased several copies of it this week to give to other people. Jaber Crow, you'll be better for it. And then Tim Curry died, which I think means that we all have to dress up and watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show next month. I'm not sure. That might be in our bylaws somewhere. It's hidden, it's in small print. but that's three. But that's not all the celebrities we've we've lost recently. Dolly started The Deadly Domino. What an icon she was. Difficult not to love. I think she was difficult for me anyway, she was difficult not to love because she knew like so assuredly who she was. And that is a superpower. But among her many gifts of song was one called Islands in the Stream. You know it. She sang it with Kenny Rogers in 1983, is when they recorded that. Colleen and I sang that duet at karaoke, so we now own the definitive version of it. But but I digress. Thirty years later. 30 years later, she and Kenny would get back in the booth again and record another song called You Can't Make Old Friends, which they were getting up there in years at the time. I mean, that's just adorable. And it has the added benefit of being true. You can't make old friends. Old friends are valuable, worth their weight in gold. Because you can't make quick, right? There's just no substitute really for history and a life lived together. Even the fastest of friends, those peoples whose souls seem shaped for ours, they aren't old friends. There's something uniquely special about an old friend. Indeed, one of the deepest griefs that I hear from those blessed with the longest of lives is that they outlive their longest friendships. And in a stroke of irony, at the same time. What I have observed, and maybe you have observed alongside me in our culture is that so much of the faux psychological advice floating around these days does not encourage us into cultivating the sort of relationships or cultivating the endurance in those relationships that will in fact eventually make what we've all agreed upon our very sweet, sweet things, an old friend. Instead, it is increasingly common to suggest that if someone or something or some situation is causing you discomfort or grief, you ought to give it the Britney Spears treatment. Which is to say, cut it out of your life as toxic. And if you've ever wondered how many years old I am, I'm Britney Spears toxic years old. That's that's what that boils down to. And I guess this shouldn't be surprising, really. I mean everything else in our lives is disposable, isn't it? Why shouldn't people be? Like snacks come in individual packs now so that I throw that trash away. It's made just for me and then when I'm done I throw it away. Razors are only meant for a couple of uses. Clothing doesn't last that long. Did you know that the United States alone creates seventeen million tons of textile trash every year? Seventeen million tons. Even diapers used to not be a single use item. You'd clean them and use them again. All of you know some brave soul that did that for a month for their first child, right? But all of this culture of disposability is in service to ease a and comfort. It's just easier to throw a diaper away, plus they nasty. So like we're gonna let that one slide, that's okay. But it is worth asking, I think, at the end of the day, what a culture, how a culture of convenience and disposability shapes our souls, though. Isn't it? Like environmental matters shape us, whether we realize that they're shaping us or not. So it's worth it to slow down and ask what what this matters for us. And for this reason, I I think there might not be a straight line. But there's certainly a wiggly line from single-use dishwasher pods to a culture where everything is labeled toxic. And that has nothing to do with the fact that kids were eating them for a while. You remember that? That was fun when the kids were eating the pods. Anyway, technological advancement that makes our lives easier isn't really the problem. That's not the problem. The problem is that we accidentally learn along the way that. Everything is supposed to be as easy as possible for me. And if it isn't easy, if it doesn't cater to me, then it shouldn't be at all that something's wrong. Now, one true caveat, and I'd like for you to hear me very, very seriously here. There are truly abusive relationships that ought to be shaken off like dust from your feet. Hard stuff. Hear me when I say it. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a culture that increasingly has no space for what is difficult. And I find that a little bit absurd because if I I'm very frank, if I cut out everyone in my life that was a pain in my butt, there would be no people left. Right? Like everybody, everything is annoying at some point. And that's not an insult. I don't mean that to be an insult. That is as true about me as it is about you, to be fair. It's just like human nature. It's okay to be annoyed by things. That doesn't mean that they're toxic, right? And what we learned from Jesus this morning in in the gospel reading is that there are things worth doing that are hard. Like relationships are hard. And if you thought relationships were hard, well community, which is just like a bunch of relationships happening at the same time, that's even harder. Reconciliation is hard, but it's worth it. Not only because you can't make old friends, but because Jesus is making us into a people who are capable of treating one another as nondisposable. Right? But for this teaching to make sense, I think I think it's helpful for us to speak out loud what assumptions Jesus is bringing to the table that I'm not sure we share in our culture, but that we would be better if we shared, I think. These assumptions create a worldview. That will shape our character so that we will end up at the end of the day looking more like Jesus and more importantly, treating one another more like Jesus if we were to allow his assumptions to become ours. If we were allowed if we were to allow his worldview to become ours. So let me share some of these with you. The first of those assumptions is that God did this on purpose. That that God intentionally put you into community with other people. Who are there to help you discern and to do what is good. You'll notice in Jesus' little primer on conflict that it is really focused on other people. Like there are a lot of cooks in this kitchen, and most naturally we'd say that the category of our business that belongs to somebody else should be filed under Nanya. It's nanya business. That we are made for others to be all up in our business, and that we are made to be up in other people's business is very much at odds with the cultural assumption that things should be as easy, as individual, and as focused on my experience as possible. But the fact of the matter is that we were made for one another. Like we were made for this specifically. One of the originating myths in the Bible tells you that you are made in the image of God. And we know God as relationship. Father, Son, Spirit, right? Like God is relationship. God is community. You are made for that. And a culture that tells you that you are a lone individual is a lie. You are caught up in the web. Of interdependence with so many, it's it's hardly possible to begin, right? I mean, even the Lone Ranger exists only in fiction. And that dude had Tonto, right? Like give me a break. What is more? Because we are made for one another, we are also responsible to one another. Because together, as this body of of people that that is called the church, we bear the name of Jesus out into the world. And that matters for us. And that and that's why it it's so painful when people who carry the name Christian do things in Jesus' name that are abhorrent. Right? Like I don't really want to be associated with white Christian nationalism. But here we are together and they're wearing that label. So I guess what? If you're gonna be racist or Islamophobic in the name of Jesus, you're gonna hear from me. That's what it means to be bound up together. We share this thing. We are in community together. So guess what? I I get to intone on you and you get to intone on me. And that's big in public, but this quality of being together matters for smaller ways too. Just in our lives together. Got a liar on your hands? It's time for a conversation, right? Like this matters for us. Your buddy thinking about stepping out on his wife? What? That's not just his problem. It's yours too. Here's why. In fact, I I remember I remind every single couple that I marry, and I do this in the context of the service itself. If you've been, if you've seen me do a wedding, you will have seen me do this. I remember, I remind everybody. That the people that are there watching them take the vows, that we invite people to that ceremony so that they can see them take the vows and hold them to it when times get tough. Right? Like, sure, they're there to drink free beer, and that'll happen later. But in the ceremony, in that moment, They are there to bear witness to these vows and take responsibility for them. I ask them as much, hey, friends and family of such and so, do you promise to uphold them in these vows? And then they all say, I do, and I take that very seriously. We're taking vows together. So even marriage, the very pinnacle of privacy heights, turns out to be public from the get-go because we are in community together. See what I mean? The second assumption that Jesus is bringing to the table is that you can be trusted to do this. I think that a lot of us distrust this whole situation and react viscerally to the suggestion that someone might have something to say into my life because we're deeply distrustful creatures and for good reason. Like I'm sure that you've heard stories or you have a story yourself where someone stuck their nose into somebody else's business and it didn't go particularly well, right? Like they didn't take the Psalm's advice. What did we read? who who's who who may abide on God's holy hill? Those who don't do evil to their friends or sheep or heap shame on their neighbors. Well, lots of people are doing evil to their friends and heaping shame on their neighbors, and it doesn't feel particularly good. We're like, well, if that's just how people are, and I'd rather not participate in that. I get that. There are a lot of folks out here nursing half-healed wounds that got us knocking one another down so that we can feel tall. So we don't treat we don't trust people to speak into our lives without doing it from a place of pride or judgmentalism. And the internet doesn't help, right? People take private things very public just to dunk on one another. It's absurd and it's unhelpful. But what I'm saying, what I think Jesus is saying, isn't that it's something new that's given to a particular community of trust and care. As long as the Old Testament law existed, there were rules for dealing with conflict. A grievance was established at the witness of two or three witnesses or at the gathering of two or three witnesses. Then that evidence was taken to a presiding judge or a a priest, an elder, or a king who would sit in the city gate and render judgments. For instance, if you've seen House of the Dragon, where Rhenira sits on the iron throne and hears the grievances that people bring to her, that was like very much historically informed. That happened. It happened in Israel. but what Jesus is suggesting. Here is a different thing than that. Jesus is suggesting that the church is as trustworthy a place as any for judgment to be rendered because God is present in the midst of the collective, where two or three are gathered, there I am in their midst. Jesus is shifting the emphasis from a single charismatic figure or an established leader because by God's own spirit, God is present in the community, and we can discern together what is right and good and holy. And thank God for that, because I don't know if you feel like this about yourself, but if marriage has taught me anything, it's that I do not always see myself as clearly as I might hope. And neither do you. We need a community of care, of humility, that helps lead and guide and nurture us toward virtue and away from vice. And the hardest part of that is trusting the process. Which leads me to the final and most important assumption that Jesus is bringing to this teaching, and that is that the goal of all of it is reconciliation. From top to bottom, reconciliation and healing with a healthy dose of humility all around. Now you might not hear that at first, because when Jesus says that you when you've exhausted all of your options, what are you supposed to do? You're supposed to treat them like a tax collector or a gentile. Which like seems like a good old-fashioned shunning, doesn't it? Like, I don't know when tax collector or gentile when we learn that those are supposed to be like slanderous, but It feels like a shunning, like the Amish are getting it right. No electricity, no problem. We got this. But it ain't that. It ain't that. I'd like to remind you that we read this morning from the Gospel of Matthew. Does anybody remember what Matthew did for a living? Matthew was a tax collector. Yeah. I imagine that that Luke was probably present, the disciple, as as Jesus was. Spilling the tea on this particular bit of advice. And Luke was probably a Gentile, best we can tell. I just imagine Jesus like locking eyes with these guys while he's talking, right? And if none of this works, treat them like a tax collector and a gentile. So how are we supposed to treat tax collectors and gentiles? Well Like those who are being welcomed into this community of grace and care, right? Not shunning them, but welcoming them. Every step of this cycle has reconciliation as its goal. When we go one-on-one, we go to restore one who's lost their way. Not in pride, not to dunk on them, not to heap on shame, but in love. When we take trusted friends with us, it isn't to gang up on them. We're going to persuade. And in humility, we might even find out that we've got it wrong, right? And that they weren't in error, but that we were. Reconciliation any way you slice it. If we were to take the issue to the whole church, likely something that doesn't really work at scale, if we're honest. These were small communities. But if we were to do so, we would do so with the hope that the weight of a community that cares would be sufficient rudder to turn someone's life back into the reconciled community, right? Because we set standards and sort of like what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. And if none of that works, still not disposable. We just start at the top and we run it again. How can we welcome you into this community of people that God is making together? That God is making a reconciled and reconciling people. Jesus is calling us to be a community, to be a people that takes our relationship in this body seriously enough to be a people who do not treat one another disposably. And it might not track directly onto these steps anymore. I'm not married to this. It's been a few years since Jesus gave this advice. It would be okay if we made some adjustments here or there. But the heart of this teaching remains. And it is as powerful today as it ever has been. Jesus is calling us to be a people whose lives are marked by the desire to reconcile and to heal things rather than to trash them and move on. And while we might bristle at this, because it is hard and awkward and weird, don't we want that for ourselves? Right? Like, don't we want the safety of a relationship in a community where we can really screw the pooch and then be offered redemption and reconciliation when it's us? And what's more, I don't know about you, but I don't really wanna live the sort of life where I've got so many broken and half-ripped relationships that I've gotta have my head on a swivel at Market Street in case I see Donnie and I gotta like scoot into the cat owl. You know what I'm saying? Like that doesn't sound fun. And it's easy to pretend, especially living where we do, which is like so many people everywhere. It's easy to pretend that folks are disposable and that we can just like perfectly curate our lives, but that is fiction. We are stuck, friends, gloriously stuck with one another. And Christianity's great hope is that we will be eternally stuck. With one another, all of us together, even the people that drive you absolutely baddie. Can't make old friends. Can't do it. But we can learn to love one another today like we aren't disposable. What a blessed pain in the butt. Thanks be to God. Amen.