speaker-1: was so embarrassing to look over with like my huge mouth guard in and just be like, ⁓ no. speaker-0: Catching up with Liz and Ebbie. speaker-1: Good to be here, good to be back in the studio. speaker-0: That's right. Your studio, my kitchen, don't look in the background. It's all good and clean and we love it. We love it. Happy Mother's Day to Happy Mother's Day, Liv. Thanks. speaker-1: And we love it. ⁓ Happy Mother's Day to me for this podcast and birthing it today into the world. ⁓ speaker-0: Our first our first episode is officially out there. speaker-1: It is officially out there. It feels incredible. But not like to skip over Happy Mother's Day to you. How does it feel? Your first Mother's Day. speaker-0: We can get into it. ⁓ but it it's nice. It was it was a very nice chill weekend. speaker-1: Does it feel like a special day or does it feel kind of like speaker-0: Funny. It like feels like a special day because it's like almost like Valentine's Day in the sense where like you're seeing everyone post about it. It's like everyone's asking about plans. You're also doing the same to other people. But then like the actual day is just a regular day, you know? Yeah. Like Rio doesn't know that it's a special day. Like it's not like he's doing anything different. ⁓ but it was nice. Went to my parents for brunch, Andrew worked. ⁓ he felt kind of bad about it. He's like, Do I'm gonna take off? But he had a lot of ⁓ clients that were still willing and able to come in. Mm-hmm. And it's one of his busiest days, so it's like harder to take off. So I was like, Don't worry about it. We had Friday and Saturday, we got some chores done around the house, which I guess I'm an adult now. That's like what we wanted to do. And it feels good to have gotten it done. It's like some yard work that was overdue. speaker-1: Okay. How speaker-0: And we went and got ice cream tonight, so it was very nice. Ugh. speaker-1: That's lovely. I do feel like in adulthood, I don't know what it is about getting ice cream, but it does feel like a very special thing. 'Cause it feels so indulgent to me. I I just love ice cream. But speaker-0: It's like you're spending your own money on it. So it's like it's not it's like still a treat in that aspect of it. You know what I mean? Like it's expensive. Like you're like making the effort to go. speaker-1: And if you're going out to a place like a ice cream parlor, like that feels like an event 'cause you're not just getting it at the store. It's not like ⁓ speaker-0: I don't know. It's there here's here's the thing I think with anything like that you do as an adult that you used to do as a kid is when you do it as a kid, it's always fun and exciting because you just are along for the ride. When you do it as an adult, you're the one like doing it. So like it's still fun and exciting, but it's like you're putting the effort in to like get the kid into the car. Go to the thing, it's raining out, what do we do? Like all of that comes into play. speaker-1: My God, it's raining out. What a thing to think about as an speaker-0: It's not hard like drizzling, but yeah, like it's no speaker-1: But it's like that doesn't totally factor into my yeah. speaker-0: That's interesting. That's crazy. It's just it's just funny. And I feel like like going out screaming, that's just like the tiny example. But it's like going on vacation or like that comes into play. Like half the fun for me is planning it. But still like you're the one like waking up, making the effort. Like you have to like be the initiator, which you when you're a kid. speaker-1: I feel like I have like a sense of like like almost like fear around not being able to do that. Like there's like a speaker-0: I hear what you're saying. I can't speaker-1: Sometimes there's a few days in a row that go by and you're like, Huh, I didn't put any effort into do this and it did not happen and if I don't put any effort in to do that ever again, it will never happen. Sometimes I'm like, ⁓ God I have to do everything for yeah for the rest of my life. speaker-0: Like it was just a habit and like I it's just like it's was like part of my routine. Yes. I don't have much of a routine right now. And like really like Rio runs the schedule. So like if he goes down for an app or if he doesn't, like if like I just okay, not like I have to choose to not do something else in order to choose to work out, which always is a better option. Like The dishes will get done when they get done. It's not like the end of the world. But it is so much more effort. Yeah. And like it will be easier once it becomes more of a habit. But ⁓ yeah, it's it's ⁓ Yeah. Effort. Effort's hard. speaker-1: It really it's such a like I think it's too, it's like this undiagnosed ADHD that I tell myself I have. But like because if I don't think about something, it disappears into a world that doesn't exist. Like if I'm not super intention I could forget about feeding the cat. Like like I've I've been having dreams lately. I think I ha I'm just like dealing with some anxiety right now. And I've been having dreams about forgetting Nina at someone's house. And I I and I wake up horrified. Nina is my cat. Nina is my I do not have a child. And I'm I'm like, maybe it's like thinking about and I don't forget to feed my cat. This cat would never let me forget to feed her. Right. First of all. But like I don't know. There's I don't know why this is just like a new fear unlocked of like literally not rising to the challenge. speaker-0: Mean it was the cat. Forgets a feed her child. Do wanna hear my thought behind it? Please. You're thinking more about potentially having kids. Yeah and this is how your body is processing it with dreams of the cat 'cause it's like the most relatable thing. No, but like taking care of another yeah. speaker-1: I'm silly, but no, no, I No, I I think I could like cry. Like I don't even know. It's just like I know. You won't cry. No, I won't. It's your Mother's Day and I've made it about me and my cat dream. Mother's. In this moment is yours. I did just get off not to change the subject, but I'm gonna change the subject. ⁓ please comment below your best anxiety fixes. Thank you so much. speaker-0: It's not my mother's day. speaker-1: ⁓ subscribe and I'll tell you how I cured my cat dreams. ⁓ I did just get off FaceTime with my mom and was wishing her I literally FaceTime Arlene. This is my mother, classic. And she like she like arises from the couch like she's like awakening from a deep sleep. It's like hey mom. Like Yep. Like you okay? I'm so sorry. Did I wake you? And she's like speaker-0: Heavy? speaker-1: No, I had an endoscopy on Friday. I was like, ⁓ God. Okay. Literally was like, Don't speak. I'll tell you everything about my life. So sit there. But it no I mean I'm dram I'm dramatizing it a little bit, but it was just so funny. She was like I can't yeah, sorry. I was like I gotta FaceTime you more than once a month. speaker-0: That's fine. I feel like she's the one who doesn't really like climbing. speaker-1: The me and my mom. Literally the fact that I FaceTime her today is literally only because I have a Mac and I it's perfect timing. I was like starting to look up the laptop to buy as I begin this podcast career. And ⁓ and then the laptop the the battery on my Dell just like decided to die. So now my that laptop can't even survive like twenty minutes without a charger. So just in time I got my ⁓ speaker-0: Hm. speaker-1: MacBook Air color came in Starlight, so that's what her name is. Her name is Starlight. Yes. We'll add that to the glossary. I love that speaker-0: Shine, starlight, star bright. speaker-1: Won't you shine your light tonight? speaker-0: ⁓ no, I'm gonna cry. speaker-1: Don't do it. speaker-0: ⁓ what was I gonna say? It is very convenient 'cause I have a Mac and when I was texting you the link for the podcast or normally we have to go through email and it's like speaker-1: Yeah. Which is who does that anymore? It's ridiculous. speaker-0: I just texted it to you and I was like, This is actually so easy and speaker-1: It's so nice. Life is easier. And I like I was just telling you, it makes me want to work. Like now I'm ready to work on this podcast. It's just so easy. speaker-0: Everything's in one place. It is so nice. speaker-1: Literally everything's in one place. Even like Connor put ⁓ I'm working with Codex right now. Comment below if you know what Codex is. ⁓ but it's just like a an open AI kind of I don't even know what to call it, application or whatever. But it's like supposed to help with workflow and like using AI to to get some of like the annoying tasks easier, whatever. Blah blah blah. I'm using it for for work and things. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: But even like using that, I'm like, yeah, let's do it. Like, sure. Let's figure this shit out on here. Like it's all so much easier. speaker-0: What computer does Connor have? ⁓ my God. ⁓ speaker-1: Let's define modem. What's a modem? The screen? I don't I don't fucking know. I thought maybe you could tell me. no, I think a modem is like, ⁓ my god, we can't debate modem. We can't debate modem. I have to define this. Monitor. speaker-0: Isn't it the stream? Networking of monitoring I feel so sick. I didn't mean monitor. And you know I meant monitor, but you didn't speaker-1: You did mean monitor and I No, I did I did know you meant Modern Right. No Correct. That's why I asked you to do speaker-0: No, I didn't mean b That is why it took, I don't know, over a month to get our first podcast to come up with speaker-1: Uh-huh. ⁓ no. No, that's we are we're figuring it out. Yeah. But ⁓ no, Connor has a like Connor has like three monitors and they all like work with each other. And he has like he has a tower and everything, like a little computer. And he built his own server. So we have like we have a lot of things going on and a lot of monitors all over the place. He already like looked at my laptop once I got a new one. It was like speaker-0: He's speaker-1: You need that? I have it? Like, sure. Add another screen my old laptop. He wants he wants to play with it. Which by all means, go for it. Same girl. But I have to try and keep up or I get lost behind. speaker-0: Different brain than me. Yeah. I had another update for you and it's slipping my mind. So what do you have for me? ⁓ I remember, but you go. speaker-1: Ha ha ha. Okay. Well, I did spend the day at the beach today, ⁓ or this morning. I know. No, but I did have a part of my best speaker-0: Did you have your best day? So we plan it for next next. speaker-1: So true. It's not my day, Liz. It's if I had my best day today, another person wouldn't have, and maybe they'd be a mom. And I can't do that. I can't do it to another mom. As a mom of a podcast. ⁓ but I did wake up and go get coffee with a friend and go on a beach walk, which was super nice. And then I went and picked up Connor and we went to a different beach and met up with some friends. speaker-0: You can't do that to another mom. I can't. speaker-1: Swam, had a few beers, played spike ball. Me too. Spike ball is so fun. speaker-0: Lots people. It always takes me like a little while to get into the rhythm of like you're on my team but we're ⁓ and then once speaker-1: Right. And it's like just because the ball comes at me doesn't mean I should hit it. Exactly. Which is what I'm struggling with the most right now. speaker-0: It's hard. You have to get into like the rhythm of it. It takes like a little there's there's a ⁓ yeah adjustment period. speaker-1: I will say, my team, me and my friend Gabby, we won every single game. Yeah, that's right. And did I know why every time? No, not exactly, but speaker-0: Damn right you did. You're learning. It's like have you have you played pickleball yet? speaker-1: I've played a little bit, but not to a point where I like felt in addiction. But yeah. speaker-0: Okay. I love ⁓ sports games, et cetera. Pickball is so fun, but it's like similar to learn. It's like there's like a little bit of a you gotta learn the scoring system, the front back system with the par whatever. And then once you do, you like know it and it's fine. But you have to it's like when you haven't played in the while you like have to remember and you're like, Okay, got it. Spike ball it takes a little bit longer to remember, but speaker-1: I mean it's pretty simple. It is so simple. You just have to be like aware of a lot of moving things. And like once someone hits it, you just need to know if you're supposed to lunge or not. And like that's very difficult for me. Correct See a flying ball and I'm like, go get it. speaker-0: It's a lot of like your processes you have to process things without thinking about it. Like your brain just has to Yeah. You know what I mean? Anyway. Yeah. speaker-1: It's like a flow state. But anyway, but we just we we played and then I was sitting down and I was like, Wow, I just feel so like exhausted, but not from like like it's a different feeling than exhaustion from exercise. And my friends were like, It's play. You're just you're you're fun you're feeling tired from playing and I was like, Yeah. And I bring back playing. I haven't played in a while. And like it's a difference between like playing a card game and playing pick ⁓ spike ball, you know. speaker-0: Like Absolutely. speaker-1: I just it was very like it's I still feel it right now. I still like feel a little tired and like speaker-0: That's a good way. One of the best things that we did was we got a bunch of our friends into volleyball. And there's like leagues and stuff that we've done, which is so fun to play like real games. But with the friends that like okay taught how to play and everyone's into it. Last summer we did this and the summer before we did it even more. So hopefully we can do it more this summer. But like Sundays we would just go to a park that has a sand volleyball court and literally just play volleyball. Like for wh come whenever, bring me or whatever. But it it is so nice. speaker-1: It's such a good use of time. speaker-0: You're being active, you're connecting with friends. Yeah, exactly. It's a great use of time. Outside. I love it. Yeah. speaker-1: Exactly. ⁓ I did get a little crispy. Just a little red, even though I put on so much sunscreen, you know? Playing. Playing. There's there's a cost. There's a cost. But so speaker-0: Dehydrated probably. I don't really know exactly how that works, but speaker-1: Yeah, yeah, 'cause I was drinking beer at the same time. I do have a ginormous coconut water next to me right now. Nice. ⁓ speaking of playing as well, next weekend I have on Sunday, so we're gonna have to move our recording day, ⁓ I have a point fighting competition. Point fighting, which is a f form of kickboxing like competition. speaker-0: So how many competitions have you done? speaker-1: This will be my official like second one. Like I've gone to three, but the first one no one showed up in my age category. So I won by default. Yep, yep. Hold your applause. I do have like a ginormous medal from that. That's right. And I I just like I like warmed up to like the amount of hype that I did to hype myself up to get into like my first official fight to have like no one show up to fight me. was so embarrassing and like so genuinely heart wrenching. speaker-0: That is so tough. I cannot imagine. Also you have to drive all the way to San Juan, right? Well actually. Okay. speaker-1: It was embarrassing as fuck. This competition was really close ac so all of my friends came. Like I had a cheering section of like ten people. speaker-0: Bless you. Thank you. That is so crazy. speaker-1: No, it was so embarrassing to look over with like my huge mouth guard in and just be like, ⁓ no. ⁓ All these people are here to cheer on a loser. And it's me, I'm the loser. speaker-0: like the opposite of no one comes to your birthday party. speaker-1: Literally, it's like you all came to my birthday party and now there's nothing to eat at all. Nothing for you. There's not a balloon in sight. ⁓ speaker-0: Okay. ⁓ It's like everyone cancelled the day of like all the entertainment canceled and then all your guests coming, you're like speaker-1: Like my mom and dad actually had an appointment and they're not here to even light the candles. It's so funny. It was so sad. speaker-0: What did were they like upset? Of course not. speaker-1: No, they were like took pity on me and took me out to a bar and like we had a nice night. But it was so sad. Like and I was like wearing so much gear. But I had a I have a such a funny getup when I do this sport and it's like a what speaker-0: Let us Hey Bigger head. It looks like you got your wisdom teeth taken out. speaker-1: Yes. Yes. My cheeks are like pushed up and fucking It's ridiculous. It was it I just had to walk over there. It's like the literally like I've these people who don't normally hug me were like, let us hold you. So it was so hum. speaker-0: I thought it was close. No, it was I didn't drive out all the to St. speaker-1: And this is why I'll never let them. Yeah. Because I don't know what's gonna happen. ⁓ but anyway, I did get to do one competition and it was super fun. I learned a lot. But so far this sport to me is teaching me that like it's humbling, so humbling. Because even if like I do well in like drills and things and like practicing and like whatever, there's no good substitute for sparring and like sparring is so frustrating because even if like you you just have to use so much of your brain and so much of your body. It's a brain and body thing. It's just exhausting. We sparred on Tuesday. I don't know if you can see but I'm like a huge Yeah. ⁓ bruising i easily over here. But we did like twelve rounds of sparring and it was I was almost cried. It's like speaker-0: Exhaustion. ⁓ yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. It's like twelve rounds of two minutes of like like do one two minute round and then you just like and you're either trying to defend yourself, trying to run away, or trying to attack. And like all of those things put you in such a interesting state of speaker-0: Time. Might yourself run away. speaker-1: Your attack is crazy. speaker-0: So literally height or flight or f speaker-1: I mean that's correct. speaker-0: Your nervous system is like speaker-1: Yes, and you know, I'm fighting men, I'm fighting women, you know, it's like speaker-0: Okay. I did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for like a hot second two years ago. I did like maybe a couple months. And yeah, there I definitely cried after some like it's hard and it's fun and so cool to learn. But like But like you're getting beat up. speaker-1: It's just a brand situation. And if you don't want to be the one getting beat up, you have to practice so much. Yeah. And I think I'm at that point where I'm like, ⁓ yeah, I forgot I have this competition. Like I should have been doing this every single day if I wanted to like, I don't know. It's just like the exhaustion gets to you and like my feet hurt so much when I'm doing this. speaker-0: Yeah. Like you can't just like give up. Like you're like a minute in and you're so tired, but like you you c you you have to keep going. Yeah. Yes. speaker-1: Only way out is through. Like and when you're when you're exhausted and like you don't want to go anymore, that thought is so depressing. Yeah. ⁓ You're like, what? ⁓ speaker-0: I You can't even acknowledge that thought. You just have to keep going. speaker-1: You have to kinda yell a little bit. I growl sometimes. You know, you kinda just have to hype yourself up. There is we do this thing, ⁓ we do this thing where we line up in front of the class and we we like say a few things like Soy Fuerza, I'm strong, soy disciplina, I'm disciplined, soy Puerto Rico. I like to say that one. Soy fighter Yo soy de fighter coquill. speaker-0: Let it out. Yeah. speaker-1: ⁓ I keep I trip over this one. Comment below. Po Por honor Iugurio Orgullo For honor and pride. Por honor i Ugury orguryo. I can't say this string of words together. For honor and pride. Yeah. And then and then we're all supposed to close our eyes for ten seconds and envision how we want to step onto the map. And I do find that to be helpful. speaker-0: Yeah. For sparring. speaker-1: To be like and I and I went to a training thing in San Juan once, and the head coach there was like, you really do he, you know, and I used to read books about like kids who were in martial arts, and I loved how intense and serious these kids were in these books. And ⁓ it's very much like that. The martial arts world is very much like come into this world and accept the new reality. And the new reality is we're here to train, to be strong. We are we are trying to out train weakness. Weakness is not something we're going to look at and encourage. Like this is something where you're s supposed to push away weakness and embrace strength and get to it no matter how you can. And our coach was very much like, I want you to be someone else on this mat. I don't want you to, you know, sparring is about and there's a lot about respect. And you have to respect getting beaten and you have to respect the The kid, if it's a kid, like he's talking to the kids, he's talking to whoever beats you or whatever, you have to respect that they've like that's someone else. Like, you need to become someone else too. You know, be someone else on the mat so that you can defeat people and then step off the mat and treat everyone with respect. Like, I don't know, there's some kind of like speaker-0: Do you? speaker-1: that you like he's like, create an alter ego. Become someone else. Be someone dangerous. Like it's just like this Yeah. It helps like I do think that when I'm about to spar like my friends, I'm like, 'cause I do pull back. I d you're supposed to. You're not supposed to hit with all your might. But like I do hesitate sometimes and that's not a good that's not a good thing. And like I saw that in my first competition. I was like, I am hesitant because That's kind of part of my strategy and my coach has encouraged that. He's like, You're a defensive fighter. You wanna watch how they make a move and then you wanna react and you wanna score on them and study them. And I'm like, Yeah, that is my approach. So that's okay, but hesitating on that approach too doesn't help. And I find that like trying to get into a different mindset, trying to create a fighter in me that I can step into when it's time makes a lot of sense. speaker-0: ⁓ speaker-1: So I'm working on that. Yeah. We'll see if she's ready or better for this next comp. But I am excited for this next comp to try that out. It's it's a super like I really wish I did this as a as a kid. Yeah. Because I do find the martial arts world is super uncompromising. It's super like cut and dry. Like obviously strength is admired, but like there's so many different kinds of strengths and there's so many different kinds of like respect and you know. I can tell, you know, when there's not that many people who train with my coach and when we go and show up in Sun One, it's very important for him that we like represent him well. Right. And I can tell that he is satisfied with that. And there's something to that where I'm like, hey, I might not have won anything. I might have gotten knocked the fuck over. But at least like I have shown respect for this sport by taking it seriously in this moment. And that's something that like I don't know. I could speaker-0: Pride. Yeah. Honor and pride. speaker-1: Have pride in what you've done. Even if I'm an adult who's like stepped into a sport as a hobby, I think because it's martial arts, like there's I know that's something my coach is looking at, like just the because like this is a hobby. Like he's looking at me to see if I give it the respect it deserves. Like literally by showing up to class in uniform, like that's a sign of respect. ⁓ it's powerful. There's just like speaker-0: Right. It's powerful. speaker-1: There's so many ways, like cleaning your equipment and like making sure it looks good and things like that. It's ⁓ steps you have to take. And like practicing outside of class, that's a center. speaker-0: That's all out done outside of the actual fighting. Yeah. It's so good. I definitely want Rio to do martial arts of some sort. Valuable. And to take something serious is not something that is we you see so often anymore. But to be like, even if you don't speaker-1: Yeah. I would definitely keep all yeah. And like speaker-0: make it your whole entire life. You don't have to, but like to have something that is a serious thing that you are showing up for and dedicating time to. yeah, that's huge. speaker-1: Yeah. I also shout out to ⁓ to the people coaching out there who take things like this seriously and like are become like a a mentor to other people's kids. I also see my coach do that for for a couple kids and like I respect that too. Like speaker-0: Really. And I'm sure it especially coaching kids, there's so much not always, but you get you get those kids that like you see the kids get it and it that is just so rewarding as a coach. Yeah. You know what I mean? To pass on something that you've dedicated so much time to and that you love and then to see it like reflected and to see like the the person you're coaching get it and you're like, I know this is gonna help you the same way it helped me is so rewarding. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: And again, it's very rare. Not very rare, but it doesn't happen every time. But like when it does, it's so definitely that's what it's all. speaker-1: Yeah. I do think still that like I'm like I would like to coach something. speaker-0: thing again one day. I love coaching. Yeah. speaker-1: You know, have you ever thought of changing like from being a personal trainer into coaching sports? Is that something you've ever thought of doing? ⁓ speaker-0: I haven't given it much thought. But I don't know how good of a coach of sports I'd be. My mind ⁓ maybe I would. I don't know. It's just a whole different mindset. It's more analytical and super strat super strategic. Obviously there's like, you know, you're still coaching people, so there's more to it than just like playing the game. You know, it's like having them relate to each other and play with each other, but speaker-1: Magic. speaker-0: Which also plays into the coaching part. But yeah, I don't know how well I would know any game in like to do that. Because you also if you have to know the game, then you have to know your players. Which I have no problem knowing the play. But whatever. I haven't given it that much thought. For sure. speaker-1: Sure. I feel like the dynamics that's the tricky part, like the dynamics of like speaker-0: People and and speaker-1: the sport it is. I'm thinking of like Ted Lasso, like you know speaker-0: I haven't watched. You haven't watched speaker-1: Ted Lasso? Girl, you gotta watch Ted Lasso. You there there's a lot you haven't watched talked about this. speaker-0: Yeah. I don't have you don't have that many streaming channels. Now we do. But then also well, we have access to our friends. We have your Apple TV. but I don't know. It's like so much we don't watch that much. So much three nights out of the week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. We're both not home together. And then we speaker-1: No, it's for the best. There's so much speaker-0: Like Angie wakes up so early for work. I used to wake up so early for work. Like we're not like we don't have a nighttime routine or a morning routine really. Just like one long day. Just frequently. Yeah. Like if we have like a regular like dinner, put the kids to bed, like sit down and watch a show, sure. But like that is so rare. That's fair. speaker-1: That's fair. Yeah, we've been less less of a TV watching routine. Like we used to watch T V most nights and now I mean I do point fighting Tuesdays and Thursdays. Connor's pretty much working all day, like Monday, Tuesday. What I was saying was that like basically Ted Lasso's a football coach who goes to England to coach soccer, but like his skill set in coaching isn't about the game and his assistance coach kind of takes over. That and his is much more about the dynamics of the players. And I feel like even though that's fictional, there's a lot of truth to that. I feel like I think I like the idea of being a coach like that, like having just like being really in tune with your team and like what the players need and what the players really grow from and things like that. I don't know speaker-0: Yeah, there is that I think that's speaker-1: I feel like you can learn any sport if you have if you're okay with that. If you're okay with taking a leadership position in l in a setting that you don't you're not like You know what I mean? speaker-0: Right, right. You there's there's like a certain kind of person you to show up with the confidence that like it's it's almost the confidence too of I'm I'm confident in that I don't really know this game, but I'm confident in my ability to coach someone through it still and to ask questions. And to learn what I mean and to learn and I'm confident. speaker-1: Exactly. To a place where like I d will know everything about this game. Correct. I don't think you necessarily need to have played a sport to coach it. I don't think that's speaker-0: I don't know. It's interesting. I'm sure it helps. I'm I'm pretty positive it helps. speaker-1: Do you have like an industry or like a a type of job that you like think you'd be good at that you've never had any experience in? I feel like I have so many. Wow. I'm just I'm arrogant like that, I think. speaker-0: ⁓ I gotta be a good therapist, but that's I totally listened to a lot of people throughout. speaker-1: And then would you give them advice? Are therapists supposed to give advice? speaker-0: ⁓ yeah. Okay. Like I feel that they give you like homework. It's not necessarily advice, but it's like requ you know. Yeah. Yeah. No. Hmm. I actually have it. speaker-1: Yeah. Have you done therapy? I haven't done enough therapy. I did do therapy and then my therapist told me I was I was fine. And I was like, Cool. Thanks. She was like, I think we're good for the moment. Like and she was like, feel free to counter counter ⁓ contradict me and like tell me you're not, but like, I think you're good for a bit. And then speaker-0: What are doing here? I like part of my not like what holds me back from doing therapy is I feel like I would just like talk myself and be like that this and then this, but like here's how I feel about it and like here's what I know I should be doing the to help. speaker-1: That's good. I feel like I exactly yes. I feel like I give myself talk therapy almost every day. Yeah. Like speaker-0: I'm not I'm not a therapist. I don't wanna like mistake or ⁓ whatever but I can I can just imagine my therapy session like going like that. Yeah. speaker-1: No, no, no, no. It definitely helped 'cause I had like specific questions I went to therapy for and it definitely helped. And the homework did help a lot. And I still think of the tools she she gave me today. speaker-0: I think if I ever like Before I would go back to therapy I would start like journaling again consistently and doing those things and if I feel like it like I was still needed more, then I would go to therapy. But like if I ever am in a rut, like I those are the things I feel like I need to go back to. And like working out consistently, getting outside, being off my phone. Like when I'm consistent doing those things, I feel like I'm pretty good. But I I don't know, I am curious about like speaker-1: Yeah. I would be curious on like I would want like feedback on myself. Yeah. speaker-0: Like I don't think about it took me a while to learn how to talk about myself. Yeah. I didn't like like I would just divert conversations back to the other person all the time. When do I still do that sometimes, but speaker-1: When do you think you were like significantly growing in that area? speaker-0: ⁓ when I was dating Andrew, he was like, ⁓ tell me about yourself. Tell me how you feel. It's like if that like I can tell that you're like a feel a certain way about this. And I'm like, I don't know how I feel yet. But I'm like, let me like think about this and talk it through. Yeah, part of dating. You learn a lot about yourself when you date too, for sure. It's speaker-1: Yeah. So true. I was talking to a friend on the beach this morning and I was like, she was going th talking about a recent breakup, and I was like, I was just thinking about this in terms of like friendships because like obviously I'm not I'm not looking to break up anytime soon or have a have an end of my relationship, right? So and I've was thinking about like when I used to go through breakups, I used to feel like a new version of myself, like. It used to feel as if I learned so much and that like I really leveling up. Yeah. It really felt like growing every time. ⁓ and then I was thinking about that and I was just like, I guess that's how I feel about all my relationships now, whatever form they are, whoever they're with. you know, because relationships go through so many seasons of change. speaker-0: Yeah. And it could be with like the same person too. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah, that's true. speaker-0: That's a good point. Yeah. ⁓ my other update of the week was I started and finished yesteryear. Which we talked about last time. So that's the Anne Hathaway bought the rights to make this a ⁓ a movie, I believe. ⁓ why else would you buy the rights? And essentially it's ⁓ about a influencer who is a trad wife. and gets ⁓ pushed back or wakes up and it's eighteen fifty five and like she's said these are like clearly my kids but they're not my kids. Like like they look like me but they're not like the they're kids that she knows, you know? but like her it's so fascinating. So then speaker-1: Interesting. Like still her kids? speaker-0: I don't that's like yeah, she's like like it's eighteen fifty like she wakes up, it she realizes it's eighteen fifty five, she's in her same house, she's like wearing like clothes that are from like eighteen fifty five and there's no technology, whatever, anything. And she's like this like person looks like like she has I forget how many kids in the past and she has kids in the present too. But she's like they look and remind her of her kids from the present, but like they're not them. Crazy. Anyway, there's it I could not put this book down. And I also because the whole time you're reading her story, like how she became an influencer. ⁓ and then it's like flipping back and forth from like her becoming an influencer to like the present, what's actually happening. speaker-1: ⁓ my god. speaker-0: In present time and then also like to eighteen fifty five. The way it's written is so well done too, 'cause it's just a lot of like stream like I don't know, it's not like full sentences sometimes, like you know what I mean? When it's ⁓ like stream of thought, italics and the like just the way it's written is is so good. She does a lot of like she'll say something out loud and then it's like her thought immediately after. So you're like, Who is this person really? Interesting. They're like completely different. It's like, ⁓ smile, like So anyway, you're like reading it and you're it's just so well done, and then you're you're I could not have guessed the ending. Wow. How ⁓ a yeah. Like this doesn't seem like the type of book to put like magic in it. But then like, is it like a mental breakdown? Cause like there's like so much contradictory in like her storytelling almost. And then not contradictory, but like you're seeing like the difference. speaker-1: Okay. speaker-0: It it's just like so you're like this is like a mental break like you're like so ⁓ it's all over the place. All over the place. And I'm just like with like I don't know how this is gonna connect. And then when it does, it's crazy. speaker-1: Yeah. I can't wait. No, I'm definitely gonna read it. I need to either get it in my hands. Maybe it's at the speaker-0: Really good. Hard to put down. bookstore. It plays when you do, we we should definitely do a review on it 'cause there's so many themes to it. Like it plays into like influencing today, Tradwife. She's like a very much like ⁓ like Christian nationalist like mindset. Like grew up like that and ⁓ w very much like was like the brainwashing isn't the word that's used in the book but as I'm reading it, that's how it's like appeared. It's just so interesting. And then there's like the yeah. So we should definitely discuss. speaker-1: Yeah. Liz had a great idea to do a book club on Patreon, which I think is a great idea. Comment below if you agree. ⁓ That sounds awesome. I need to read that. I have s so many books to read. Yeah. But like I that's going that's going to the top of the list. speaker-0: Patreon. ⁓ Yeah, it's really good. But we can also like read it when we start the book club. Whatever. Definitely, definitely a good one. And it's really hot right now. Like everyone's talking about it. speaker-1: That's hot shit. ⁓ one of my updates too is in where I'm living in Puerto Rico, there's not that many bookstores. There's not really like a public library ⁓ that I know of that has like a good amount of books, ⁓ which is a pain point in my life. And so me and my friend went shopping for another friend's one year old birthday party, ⁓ trying to find some books for the kids. And we did find this bookstore in the Aguarilla Mall. It was like so nice just to be among some new books. And to hold in my hand and just peruse and read the back of books and like it's nice. ⁓ so maybe, maybe it'll be there and I could go grab it. That would be so nice. And it's like speaker-0: And ⁓ Yeah. It's just That would be great. Like that would be great. Otherwise get yourself a Kindle. speaker-1: I know. It's pfft it's on my list. Maybe I just do that right now, live on air, if you buys a Kindle. Do I speaker-0: But do it. ⁓ I'm just sorry, I'm looking at my calendar. I'm trying to catch you up on what else we did this weekend. speaker-1: What are you doing this time? speaker-0: Okay. ⁓ well both. We had our friend Lorenzo's first birthday party. So you have a one year old birthday party, we just had one. Very cute. Lorenzo. He's the cutest. ⁓ and then upcoming, we have a wedding on Thursday. And this is wedding number one of the year for speaker-1: Is Rio going to the sweating? speaker-0: ⁓ he's gonna come, it's ⁓ church first and the ceremony's at a church, so we'll probably bring him there. And then it's only like ten minutes from our house, the reception, so my mom's gonna come watch him. You know where that's a great question. I have a dress I have a dress in mind. Uh-huh. I should probably try that on. I also have a dress in mind that is in Celine's closets that she just wore to a wedding. speaker-1: How is like the the fashion postpartum? Like are we feeling more comfy? Are we feeling like it's still weird? speaker-0: ⁓ getting dressed postpartum is hard, but it's hard er like immediately postpartum. Now it's definitely easier. Like my jeans fit again for the most part. Like they f fit different, but like I can wear them. and even like shirts, like a t shirt, like my boobs are bigger because I'm breastfeeding. And I'm like, this shirt fits me so different. I'm like, ⁓ weird having speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: Like they're not even that much bigger, but they make a difference in like a slightly smaller fitting t-shirt. It's it's just interesting. But yes, much easier. Okay. Yeah. Like everything fits me. They just it just fits me. Not everything fits me, but most things don't look fit me now, but like they'll look a little bit different because my body's a little bit different now. But it's not like thank goodness I need a whole new wardrobe, which speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: you feel like you need when you're immediately postpartum for like, I don't know, maybe like three month, like two to three months. Yeah. I think being postpartum in the summer is another win there because like you could wear a dress ⁓ or like bigger t-shirts are easy to come. Like, you know, I feel like it's like in the winter, I'm like, ⁓ like you if your jeans don't fit you, you're not gonna wear like a skirt or a dress. And so then you're like, okay speaker-1: Yes. speaker-0: Pants that aren't jeans are a good go to. But I have like three pairs of pants that are winter pants and like around the holidays, like there's just like a lot of events. So you're feel like you're just r wearing the same thing over and over. Yeah. Then like a big sweater is a big sweater that's easy to wear. But like pants that aren't jeans because your jeans don't fit, that was tricky. Yeah. speaker-1: Yeah. It's almost like maybe we should stop being making fun of mom fashion because you know what it's hard to dress as a mom. It's hard to speaker-0: dress as a mom and then you're like I you don't really at least I didn't really like care about style but I want it to look good still. And then also like a a big sweater is easy to wear but it's so hard to breastfeed in. And then that's what your baby's doing constantly when they're so little. So like then like button downs are easy to wear. But then I'm like okay am I just constantly gonna wear a button down with like these pants and there's it's speaker-1: Yeah, of course. ⁓ my God, it's all making sense. I'm like, ⁓ my God, there's a reason for everything. It is. speaker-0: like you yeah. This is like part of the yesteryear the book I was talking about before. She has a whole thing which talks about like having her first baby and as you're talking like clearly she had postpartum anxiety, depression. Like you're reading it and it's just so obvious. ⁓ but there are like certain things that she says that like you relate to just regular postpartum. And I feel like for speaker-1: You don't think about these things. speaker-0: forget what the one specific line was. But you're like, ⁓ yeah. It's ⁓ she's mentioned how all the moms lie about having a baby. And I'm like, I you like believe that a little bit because it I don't know. speaker-1: What do you mean by lie? speaker-0: You just like you can prepare all you want to have a baby and give birth and you know, like you know what's gonna happen. Like you know what to expect. Research whatever, like but there's just like nothing like actually experiencing it because you don't know how your experience is gonna be. And like for the most part mine was like really good, but I definitely had a lot of anxiety in the beginning. And I don't know, you're just like, wow, no one told me it like this is what it's like. But then how do you tell someone this is what it's like because everyone's experience is so different? So you're like, Yeah, people lie and just tell you it's the most beautiful thing ever. And it is, and it's the best thing ever. But like it's just yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Like you just don't know what the experience you're gonna have and I think that's what you like can prepare, but you can't. speaker-1: Yeah. It is crazy. Yeah, I'm sure some people are like, I I don't wanna get involved and try to tell you it's one thing when you might experience it completely different. So I'm just gonna say it's great because that one thing is true universally. speaker-0: Okay. Correct. And for the most part, true universally. Fair. ⁓ what was I gonna say? ⁓ my god, Mom Brain. So when you're pregnant, you don't want to be like receiving advice from all these different people because it's it's like everyone wants to give you their two cents and yada yada. Well, good or bad, but you're like, I just can't take in all this information. Like everyone relaxed. So like speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ awesome. speaker-0: That's also part of it. Like, I don't know. There's no speaker-1: For sure. You're like, I'd love to try out all of this advice at once, but I can't do that and I can't remember all of it for when the moment calls for it. I'm gonna have to wing it. So relax. speaker-0: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. speaker-1: That's fascinating. We'll see if I can like if I can get there, if I can ⁓ get over my cat anxiety dreams. Yeah. Okay. I love you so much. speaker-0: All right, well thanks for listening this week. We were a little all over the place, but that's that's how it is when we catch up. speaker-1: Yeah, thanks for catching up with us. We'll see you on the next episode. Please like and subscribe. Leave a five star review. speaker-0: Thank you. See you next time. Okay, bye.