Vanessa The Vivacious: And we are live in three, two, two, one. Three, two, two one. And welcome everyone to another episode of Vanessa the Vivacious Show and Humanity 2.0 podcast. Today's episode features a life update since our last recording in May for both shows, as well as additional topics such as my cancer journey, burnout, and today's takeaway item, which is motivation station. So with that, let's get vivacious and human. First and foremost, I offer my sincere apologies for being out. The reason primarily was cancer. My cancer journey, which became the most life absorbing experience, initially started in January of 2026. During the experience, I was so tired and very sick and experiencing so much both physically and psychologically, and I was in no shape or mind space to hit record. Now, I've always been the one to say, when in doubt, hit record but But what about that moment or series of moments when the reasons to not record overpower your hand and you just cannot hit that button? How do you come back from that? Well, definitely we are going to touch more on this later, but first let's take a look at the experience that really took away 2026, which is my cancer journey. In January 2026, during a snowstorm, I Googled some symptoms. And while normally this is not the best medical advice, I took the advice when it said go to the ER now. So I drove with my hazards on, holding my stomach, bleeding into my car seat actually, and just praying for the lights to turn green so I can make it to the ER. In hindsight, driving yourself while losing blood is probably not the best idea. So in murtic medical emergencies, Do not drive yourself. Let someone else drive you. Upon arrival to the ER, I had several tests and biopsies and then received results in my MyChart a few days later. My MyChart app told me the news before an actual human did. The doctor called later that day, but I've always found it strange that now technology has made it possible for us to get bad news a whole lot quicker. However, it also helps when you're waiting on results for other blood work, so It's kind of a win-win, lose-win, fifty-fifty type situation. I'd like to share with you guys a recording from the moment that I found out I had cancer. Something in me told me to record my reaction, and maybe it's because I wanted to use it as part of a book or part of a biography, and so I did. In the past it was too hard to listen to, and so I've never heard it. So today, you and I are listening to this together. I was working hard as I normally do, sitting at my desk, working on podcasts, working on emails, working on videos and so much else. Comma. I didn't think to check my chart online because I was told that I would get a call. And with this call, there would be an appointment to be scheduled. And at that appointment, I would get my results, period. So I was hungry and I ended a call with my mentee. Who I had just recruited, acquired, and I told him I needed to have lunch because I forget to eat. And when I remember to eat, then I make it a priority to go eat. Period. So I went downstairs with my phone in hand, scrolling through emails and then realizing I should check the app to see if there are any notifications. And there was one. It was a new report, my pathology report. And so I got out my sandwich items. construct this sandwich. A very simple one at that. And I sat at the table and opened the pathology report. It may as well have been IKEA instructions because I had to read it a couple times, but when I read the main point, I found that I in fact did have cancer, and I was immediately shocked. My first thought was, do I go outside or do I make my sandwich? I decided to make my sandwich and during the process I forgot how to make a sandwich, and then after constructing said sandwich, I forgot for a moment how to eat a sandwich. So I took it to the table and I sat down and I ate the sandwich and I went over the results multiple times, still not entirely comprehending but understanding that life is forever changed. And that is scary, period. I went through the Rolodex of my friends and family and contacts in my head and I just could not determine who to call. So I called one friend who I've been very close to in the recent year, and I've known her for a few years as well as her family, and I knew that she would be the perfect person because she has survived cancer and many other things as well. I text her and said, Could we meet and go get coffee or tea? and she was here within minutes and we went to have tea. And then we proceeded to enter this bobo place where we had our drinks and then had a discussion with serious moments, dark humor and facial expressions and more differential tones, period. I have to say I love her very much for everything that she gave me that day, and when I got home, by her rule and decree, I proceeded to make an appointment of some kind to make sense of this nonsense. What an inconvenience cancer can be when you're trying to live your life and when you're trying to start over. You can have great faith and still be scared, and that's human. But at the end of the day, great faith is always present and God is always good. In the next month I entered treatment with pills that made me miserable and caused or even exacerbated diabetes. So I was getting weaker and depressed and I decided one day, well maybe if I work out, I'll have a better chance of surgical recovery and it'll help this depression that's going on. And so it did help a bit. My surgery was supposed to be scheduled in March, but I hesitated with the I guess the news of of having cancer and then having to really quickly decide on on how best to move forward, whether to have surgery, whether to try medicine for a while, it was a lot at once. And so I chose to push the date so I could have time to think. And having the surgery to remove the cancer also meant losing the ability to ever have a child. And so that was closing a door forever. My adopted son, who I never have seen as adopted, came into my life when he was seven. I loved him as my own and I adopted him when his bio mom died from cancer in twenty nineteen, and so he's actually a big part of why I chose to fight this cancer and I couldn't let him lose another mother to cancer. Today my son is twenty three and he's respectful and funny and lively and a wonderful young man, and so I don't feel as though I never got to be a mother. The Lord just had a different path for me in t in terms of motherhood. And so going back to the surgical decision, I considered my age and my circumstances and the current state of the world. And I just grappled with the fact that in order to defeat cancer, I had to remove my uterus and other parts that could become an issue down the line. The diagnosis that I was provided was stage one. And so I took that as a sign that I should really fight as hard as I possibly could because I was blessed to have it found at an early stage. And so it's funny, but It still boggles my mind to this very day that Google is part of my early detection story, but I digress. Surgery got scheduled for the end of September 2026, and then one day I get a call that it's been moved up to the first week of September, and I had no time to prepare. I didn't even have the money to buy care items or medications for afterward or even put food in the fridge. I panicked and I also prayed. Days before the surgery, I got a check in the mail for some sort of settlement and it paid for all the meds, the care items, and the food. It really was a miracle check. We need more of these in our lives, I think. Miracle checks, or maybe we just need more faith and more prayer. Now my surgery was successful and it was completed on September fourth with no complications, and after surgery it began the marathon of healing. They say it's about eight to ten weeks, but really it can be longer based on your body and also internal healing needs. Cause not only are you healing on the outside, but really, really in the inside is is where it counts. Now, what I can tell you is that the cancer surgery recovery is very humbling because your body can barely do anything. And you have to ask for help. And if you're not used to asking for help or needing help, the ask itself can be extremely difficult. And it was for me. Today I'm posting. sorry, week six post op recovery and while I'm still not a hundred percent yet, I am able to resume recording and creating, which makes me super happy. For the longest time I was in so much pain and I couldn't do do that. I could only watch the world going on around me. And I was extremely lucky to have a friend support network and family support during the whole process from January through September. I was extremely lucky to be able to receive care from the public health system for Dallas County and it actually saved so much money from all the costs associated with surgery and and treatment and visits and I'm still benefiting from their services which I can't even tell you how amazing it has been to receive care at a very discounted rate because of these amazing people and because of the the county and the hospital over at Parkland. So I feel very fortunate and very blessed to have gotten through this cancer. as of today's date, it is technically all out. And so they call that no evidence of disease or remission. And it's it's crazy to think about the fact that all of this happened from January through September. Within a year, you know, I I got this cancer. I went through so much emotionally, physically, mentally, everything you can possibly think of, I went through. And then I get to come out on the other side and while, like I said, I'm still healing, it's still very it's still very much on my heart about how amazing things lined up and how how blessed that I have been and how lucky I have been to have amazing friends and family members. So to everyone who has been part of this cancer journey and support, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Now, if this cancer journey wasn't enough, during it all I experienced a mixture of burnout because I lost more than just a healthy body. I lost confidence in my abilities and my body was slowing down, and more so with the cancer treatment, it was just awful. I had to sell my home. I have family dynamics changed, finances changed, everything was gone, and yet this cancer body, this cancer was still here. Now I love discussing burnout because there are so many types and levels of burnout. But burnout due to sickness, that was new for me. I think that burnout creeps in when we least expect it and it hides in the attic of our minds until one day, bam, we're just burnt out and all is lost. And in my case, the body was doing a lot of work to keep me down and I got stuck with comparison drama too. They say comparison is the sieve of joy, and well it is. I was comparing myself to other creatives who were out there producing and creating and publishing and people who were not laying down in bed from cancer recovery and surgery. And then one day I realized how crazy that was and how crazy I was to compare myself to other people who were not even recovering from surgery, let alone cancer. So how did I get out of that? How did I find the key? How did I find the door in this darkness? Well, after all of the self-degradation and self-loathing, I realized that the important thing was to let myself feel everything and everything that I was going through, to get that acknowledgement that I was stuck and to get comfortable in the dark abyss that I was facing with this cancer journey, to let myself heal for crying out loud and to understand this is where I am and yes, it hurts and it's terrible, but the possibilities. There are always still possibilities. And so I have this positivity and sunshine bone where I could I could be in a car accident and the car's on flames and then I'm looking for marshmallows to toast. So I'm that type of person. But all jokes aside, my desire to get to the other side of this struggle mountain to persevere, and that's what got me through this. I I also allowed myself to stop comparing myself to others and just let myself heal. Focus on the physical healing, the emotional healing, psychological healing, all of that. I I I cut everything else out and stopped looking everywhere else except at myself, both in the mirror and internally. I believe that it's important to process and sit in your feelings, especially in your filthy feelings. It's like sitting in filth, right? Sitting in your filth, but in doing so, it helps you to see what you really don't want to see about yourself. And then you find the strength to separate what's real from what's not, and what's credible truth and what's a lie that you've chosen to tell yourself. It's almost like a built-in BS detector where eventually you start to compare and contrast to both the good and the bad things that you're thinking about yourself. And you start to reject the bad because you know those thoughts are just fabrications that are created during despair. And so I highly recommend that you find your own built-in BS detector. Also write down things that you love about yourself, positive truths, wins, victories, and then keep them in a vault. When you find yourself in that dark abyss or having a moment, pull out your BS detector and your me vault and just obliterate those feelings or opinions that are destroying you. I Also, surround myself with inspiring words from other people. If I think back to moments where I'm not quite feeling myself, I realize that I stopped listening to these amazing and inspiring stories. For example, I watch Modiversity on YouTube, and from time to time I also check out other inspirational sources and quotes, books, what have you. Well, today I landed on Mike Tyson, and Mike Tyson, as we all know, is amazing. So With that, let's get into our next segment, Motivation Station. Here's some amazing quotes that I found from Mike Tyson today. Confidence breeds success, and success breeds confidence. I was born in absurdity and I never want to be there again. Adversity makes the strong stronger or the weak weaker. The closer I get to the ring, the more confident I get. You have to have the mindset to be a champ in order to live the lifestyle of a champ. Belief is more powerful than anything. Success comes from self belief. In order to master, you have to be a fool. You have to be a champion in order to be a champion. I'm sorry, you have to be a champion in your mind to be a champion everywhere else. You win the morning, you win the day. In order to change anything, you have to change yourself. Nothing's impossible when someone tries. And so all of those words stood out while I was watching. I was thinking about how Having to face adversity is something that we can all identify with, but what we do after the fact and how we pull ourselves through, those may look different, but there are also some similarities. Motivation that you have to get through the spark, whatever it is that you call it, that's what pulls you through. And and we all have that. And I think that when we think we don't have it, it's just because we're not quite listening enough. For our Humanity 2.0 listeners, I always begin the episode by asking the guest, are you a good human and why? Well, since I'm today's guest and I imagine you've always wondered what my response is, here it is. Am I a good human and why? Yes. Emphatically yes. Since I was probably five years old, I've sp I've been a servant to humanity and I dedicated myself and my life to finding opportunities to help and love on others. My first memory of selflessness is sharing money and food with homeless in downtown Mexico when I didn't even know what homelessness was. I simply saw their faces, their eyes, their heartbreak, and all I wanted more than anything, more than candy, was to help them and to be of service to humanity. And it didn't stop there. I volunteered, I worked with nonprofits through the years, and I found ways to donate throughout my life, regardless of how poor and how struggling I was. There's something about being of service to others and being that piece of proof that humanity is still good and that continuously burns my fire to keep being this good human. Despite all adversity, painful experiences, failures, and despair, my candle to be a good human has always and will always remain lit with a huge flame that's big enough to cast light amongst the darkness. I hope that knowing that there are good humans in the world still inspires you to be a good human and share your humanity with others. Thank you everyone for joining this special episode of Vanessa's Vivacious Show and Humanity 2.0 podcast. See you guys Friday for another amazing episode of Humanity Two Po podcast, and then Vanessa's the Vivacious Show will be back every Monday. Be sure to subscribe to both podcasts wherever you listen to your podcast, and then also on YouTube, you can watch and listen as well. Thank you guys again for joining. Don't forget to be vivacious and don't forget to be a good human.