Laura West: Happy Halloween, everybody. There is something about Halloween that I have always found fascinating, despite the current heat wave that we are in here where I live. But it can be loud and social. There are parties, costumes, haunted houses, trick-or-treating, crowded events, and people. Everywhere. But Halloween can also be incredibly quiet. A candle glowing in the window. A chilly evening, which sounds amazing right now, a scary or not so scary movie. A cozy blanket, a good book, a bowl of candy that you bought for the trick or treaters, but somehow mysteriously keeps getting smaller. That's why I wait to put it out until the night of Halloween. And if you're an introvert, that second version of Halloween might sound pretty appealing. So today on the show, we're going to talk about cozy fall things that you can do for fun, especially if you're someone who enjoys your own company or prefers smaller, quieter experiences. And because this episode happens to come out on Halloween, we're going to add a little Halloween magic to the mix. But I also want to talk about something that I think is important, because the word introvert gets thrown around a lot these days, and I think there are some misconceptions about what it actually means. Being an introvert, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're shy. It doesn't mean you don't like people, and it doesn't mean you don't enjoy parties. And it certainly doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you if you'd rather be home reading a book than standing in a crowded room making small talk. Introversion is more about how you tend to process stimulation and where you tend to recharge. An introvert can absolutely be social. You might have a wonderful time at a party and still come home afterward thinking, okay, I love everyone, but I now need to be alone. And this happened to me just this past weekend. We were at an event for my husband's job. And I was speaking to a woman that I had just met and I had mentioned to her about being an introvert. And she was surprised. She said, You don't come off as like an introvert. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. Because it does mean that you can still enjoy yourself at the parties, you can still talk to people, but you do need some quiet afterward to recharge. And honestly, I think fall is a wonderful season for that kind of balance. There are opportunities to get out and experience things, but there are also so many reasons to slow down and enjoy your own space. So let's talk about some of them. Let's start with Halloween itself. If you love Halloween, but don't necessarily love crowded parties, you can create your own version of the holiday. And I actually think this can be more fun than trying to force yourself into somebody else's idea of what Halloween is supposed to look like. So try picking a movie or making something warm to drink. Put on your favorite pajamas, light a candle, turn off those overhead lights. You know how I feel about those. Maybe decorate a little if you haven't already. And put on some atmospheric music. And give yourself permission to make the evening exactly what you want it to be. Maybe you want a classic horror movie. Maybe you want something spooky but not terrifying. And maybe you want a Halloween episode of your favorite television show. Or maybe you want to curl up with a book that has a little magic in it. And if you're like me and enjoy the idea of being scared more than actually being scared, there's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing something that gives you Halloween atmosphere without giving you nightmares. And here's something interesting about Halloween. The holiday has roots that go back. More than a thousand years. Halloween is connected to the ancient Celtic festival of Sawain, which marked the transition from the lighter half of the year into the darker half. And over time, Christian traditions surrounding All Hallows Eve and All Saints' Day became intertwined with older seasonal customs. And that's part of why Halloween has this fascinating association with the boundary between life and death, the living and the dead, and the known and the unknown. Now I'm not saying that means the veil is definitely thinner on Halloween, though I have had my reasons to believe that it is. But I do think that there's a spiritual belief and different traditions understand it differently. I also think it's interesting that for centuries people have used this particular time of year to reflect on mortality, ancestors, endings. And what lies beyond what we can see. And that fits surprisingly well with the spirit of this show, A Guided Life. Because Halloween isn't only about ghosts and candy, it's also a reminder that humans have always been fascinated by the mystery of what comes next. So here's another idea. Take a walk on Halloween evening, not necessarily to go to a party, just walk. Look at the decorations, look at the houses with pumpkins on the porch. Notice the costumes. Listen to the neighborhood. And if you live somewhere trick-or-treating is popular, you might actually get to experience something you don't normally notice. For one evening, your neighborhood becomes a completely different place. There might be lights everywhere or people sitting outside, kids running around in costumes, music playing. And if you're introverted, you don't necessarily have to participate in all of it. You can simply observe. And there's something really enjoyable about being a quiet observer. And this is another place where being present can become almost meditative. Instead of putting headphones and walking while thinking about everything you need to do tomorrow, Just look around. What do you notice? What sounds do you hear? What smells are in the air? What decorations make you smile? Sometimes we don't need to create a profound spiritual experience. Sometimes being fully present for an ordinary evening is enough. And this brings me to one of my favorite fall activities, the pumpkin patch. Now I know pumpkin patches can sometimes be crowded, but here's the introvert trick. Go at an off-peak time. A weekday or early in the morning or later in the afternoon. You don't have to go during the busiest Saturday afternoon when everybody else is there taking family photos. And here's another thing I love about fall outings: they give you something to look at and experience without requiring constant conversation. You can walk around, look at pumpkins, take pictures, get a seasonal drink, maybe buy something for your house. You can have an experience without having to perform socially the entire time. And that's an important distinction. introverts don't dislike social interaction. They just prefer purposeful interaction over constant stimulation. There's a difference between sitting around making small talk for three hours and going somewhere beautiful where you naturally have things to look at and talk about. Of course, we have to talk about books. One of the best fall activities is simply creating a day around reading. Choose a book that you've been wanting to read. Make coffee or tea and get your favorite blanket and put your phone somewhere out of reach and just read. And if you're someone who loves fantasy, fall is practically an invitation to disappear into another world. There is something about reading fantasy when the weather is cooling down and the evenings are getting darker. It feels like the perfect season for magic. And there's actually a reason reading can feel so different from scrolling. When you're reading a story, your brain has to actively construct the world that you're imagining. You're not just receiving images, you're actually creating them. You're picturing the characters, the settings, the sounds, the atmosphere. So when you spend an afternoon reading, you're not simply quote unquote doing nothing. You're engaging your imagination, and I think we could all use a little more imagination sometimes. Next is baking something like pumpkin bread or apple crisp, cookies, cinnamon rolls, something with maples, something with chocolate. Okay, I'm getting hungry now. Something that makes your entire house smell like fall. And if you're thinking, but Laura, I don't bake, well that's okay. Buy the refrigerated dough. I'm not ashamed to say that I do. Use the box mix. Make it easy. The goal isn't to prove that you're secretly a contestant on a baking show. The goal is to enjoy the process. And there's something really satisfying about sensory experiences like this. Like the smell of cinnamon or the warmth of the oven or the texture of the dough, the taste of something that you just made. Fall is a very sensory season, and maybe that's one reason so many people find it comforting. We associate it with warm foods, soft blankets. Candles, sweaters, crisp air, changing colors, and familiar traditions. You're basically giving your brain a collection of comforting sensory signals. And sometimes that is exactly what we need. Okay, here's another one for my fellow introverts. Go somewhere that you can just wander. So a bookstore, an antique store, a thrift shop, a local market, a craft store, and don't necessarily go with the goal of buying anything, just explore. I love activities where there isn't a strict agenda. You can wander down an aisle, you could pick something up, you could look at it, and then you put it back. Find something weird and wonder who owned it before you. And then you move on. And if you're spiritually minded, these kinds of environments can also be great places to practice intuition. So instead of overthinking every decision, notice what you're naturally drawn toward. Again, you don't have to buy it, just notice. Notice what caught your attention. Why did I pick that up? Does this feel interesting to me? It's a very simple way of practicing awareness. Now, fall is also a beautiful time for reflection. You could start a seasonal journal and keep it incredibly simple. So maybe once or twice a week, write things down like something that you're grateful for, something that you're enjoying, maybe something that you're noticing, or something that you're looking forward to. And maybe it's something that you're ready to release. The last one might be my favorite because fall gives us such an obvious metaphor for letting go. I mean, look at the trees. They don't cling to every leaf forever. The leaves they change and eventually they fall. And we understand that this is part of the process. It's simply moving into another season. I think people can be a lot harder on themselves than nature is. We sometimes think that we should be able to hold on to everything, every relationship, every expectation, every version of ourselves, every plan, every dream, exactly as we originally imagined it. But sometimes something has simply finished its season. And recognizing that doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful. It means you're allowing yourself to move forward. So maybe your fall journal isn't just about what you're grateful for. Maybe it's also about what you're ready to release. Okay, I love this one. Take yourself on a date. Yes, by yourself, go get coffee, go to lunch, see a movie, visit a bookstore, go shopping, go for a scenic drive, sit somewhere beautiful and people watch. That's always fun. And if the thought of doing something alone makes you uncomfortable, well then just start small. So maybe go get coffee alone. Then maybe lunch and then a bookstore, peruse a little bit. Eventually, you may discover something really freeing about that. You don't have to wait for someone else's schedule to enjoy your life. You can do things because you want to do them. And this is especially important for introverts because solitude and isolation are not the same thing. Solitude is chosen time alone. Isolation is feeling disconnected. And those are very different experiences. So you can have a very rich social life and still need solitude. And you can spend time alone without being lonely. Knowing the difference can help you understand yourself a lot better. And because this is a guided life, I couldn't let Halloween pass without including something spiritual, but I'm going to keep this very simple. So take a few minutes tonight or sometime around Halloween. And think about the people, animals, and experiences that have shaped your life. If you have loved ones who have passed away, you might light a candle in their memory, look through an old photograph, tell a funny story about them, think about something they taught you, or simply say, I love you and I remember you. You don't have to make this complicated and you don't have to try to contact anyone. Unless that's your jam. You don't have to interpret every little thing that happens afterward as a sign. You can simply remember. And I think that's one of the more beautiful sides of Halloween and the traditions surrounding this time of year. For thousands of years, people have used seasonal transitions as opportunities to remember those who came before them. And I think there's something deeply human about that. We carry people with us. Sometimes through memories, sometimes through traditions, sometimes through the things they taught us, and sometimes through the little things we do that remind us of them. Okay, this next one is simple but surprisingly effective. Create a fall playlist. it doesn't have to contain stereotypical fall songs. It can. But choose music that makes you feel the way that you want to feel during this season. Maybe it's acoustic music, or it's nostalgic music, or it's movie soundtracks, or it's instrumental music, maybe it's songs that remind you of Halloween when you were younger. And here's a fun idea: make two playlists. One could be for Cozy Fall and the other could be for spooky fall. Then you can decide, okay, what kind of evening am I having? Am I feeling cozy Laura or spooky Laura? because there are worse decisions to have to make. Now here's one that I really want to encourage. Do something that you loved when you were younger. So watch an old Halloween movie, buy your favorite childhood candy, maybe color in a coloring book or watch a cartoon, maybe carve a pumpkin, put on a silly costume, even if you're not going anywhere. Go through some old Halloween photos, make popcorn and build a blanket fort, whatever makes you feel a little bit like a kid again. Because we sometimes become so serious as adults that we're responsible for things. We're paying bills and we're working and we're taking care of people. We're thinking about the future, yada yada, yada. And occasionally I think it's good to do something that has absolutely no practical purpose. Something that is just fun, that matters because play matters and wonder matters and imagination matters. And maybe Halloween is one of the few holidays that actually gives adults permission to be a little ridiculous. So take advantage of that. And finally, you have my permission to do absolutely nothing. You don't have to squeeze 12 activities into your fall. You don't have to make every weekend Pinterest worthy. You don't have to attend every event you're invited to, and you don't have to prove that you're enjoying the season. Sometimes your perfect fall evening is dinner, pajamas, a book, and bed by 9 30. And honestly, that also sounds pretty fantastic. Because I think one of the biggest lessons we can learn from being an introvert, or really just from being human, is that we have to learn what actually restores us. Not what looks fun on social media, not what everyone else is doing, not what we think we're supposed to enjoy. What actually makes you feel good, what makes you peaceful, curious, what makes you laugh, what makes you feel connected or more like yourself, those are worth paying attention to. Because your fall doesn't have to look like everyone else's. And maybe that's what I really want to leave you with today, especially because this episode is coming out on Halloween. There's a lot of pressure around holidays to experience them a certain way. Halloween is supposed to mean costumes and parties and candy and haunted houses. Fall is supposed to mean pumpkin patches and football games and bonfires and crowded festivals. But you get to create your own version. Maybe your Halloween Is a party. Maybe it's handing out candy. Maybe it's watching a scary movie, or maybe it's reading a fantasy novel. Maybe it's lighting a candle for someone that you love. Or taking a quiet walk through your neighborhood and admiring everyone's decorations. Maybe it's turning off the lights, putting on a cozy movie, and eating way too much chocolate. There isn't one correct way to enjoy a season, and I think that's a beautiful thing to remember. A guided life doesn't mean that we're constantly waiting for some huge spiritual message telling us what to do next. Sometimes being guided means paying attention to what feels nourishing, what sparks your curiosity, what brings you peace, what makes you feel alive. And sometimes the guidance, it's very simple. Go for the walk, read the book, make the pumpkin bread, yum, buy the ridiculous Halloween mug. Call someone you love, stay home tonight, go somewhere by yourself, light the candle, take the nap, say no to the thing you don't want to do, say yes to the thing that makes you excited, and maybe most importantly, don't apologize for knowing what you need. If you're an introvert, like me, you don't have to become an extrovert to have an amazing life. If you love people but need solitude, that is absolutely okay. And if you love Halloween but don't love parties, that's also okay. If you want to spend an entire Saturday wrapped in a blanket with a book, that's okay too. Your life gets to feel good from the inside, not just look good from the outside. So, wherever you are listening this Halloween, I hope you give yourself permission to enjoy the season in whatever way feels right for you. Maybe you get a little spooky, maybe you get very cozy, or maybe you do both. And if you're celebrating Halloween tonight, I hope that you have fun. I hope you're staying home if that's what you want. And I hope it's exactly the kind of evening that you wanted. And if you're surrounded by people, I hope that you remember to give yourself some quiet afterward. Because whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between, we all need moments where we can simply come back to ourselves. Thank you so much for spending part of your Halloween with me here on A Guided Life. And wherever this season finds you, take a breath, slow down, listen inward, and remember, you don't have to rush through your life to make it meaningful. Sometimes you just have to slow down enough. To notice the magic that's already there. Happy Halloween, everyone, and I'll see you next time.