John Knopick: I think we've confused being strong with not needing anybody. That's a problem. Because regardless of how strong you think you are and how invincible you think you might be from time to time, life sucks sometimes. Plain and simple. Life is hard, but you don't have to do it alone. You can be as strong as you want to, but You still gotta rely on people from time to time because that's what we're here for. We're here to help. And I think we do a horrible job at times at admitting that we need people, myself included. I have so many issues with admitting that I need help, be it emotionally, financially, whatever the case is. unfortunately I was raised this way, but I was always raised to suck it up, be a man, handle your business, and let the chips fall where they may. Just take care of what you gotta take care of. If you need to shoulder it all yourself, shoulder it all yourself. Don't rely on anybody else to save you or to help you. And I Come to realize as I get older that that was horrible advice from my father. Because the more I open up to people and the more I'm vulnerable and the more I admit that I need help, the more I realize there are a lot of people out there who are in the same boat who aren't just afraid to be vulnerable, but feel like, well, I have to be strong. This is in my genetics. This is in my DNA. I've got to be this way. And it's not true. You don't. It's not gonna make you seem weak. It's not gonna make you come off as being inferior just because you're asking for help. You know, you don't need to necessarily understand someone's struggle to be able to help them. I haven't been through what you've been through, so I can't help you. Not true. If you can provide any kind of advice or tips or even guidance or even something as simple as just listening, lending an ear, lending a shoulder for them to cry on, lending an ear for them to scream into, vent to, you're doing the service right there. Even if you've never been through what that person's been through or walked a mile in that person's shoes. Or even been anywhere in the ballpark of what they're dealing with. Just lending them that ear, lending them that shoulder can go a long way because that helps them break down those barriers and those walls that they've thrown up and felt like they've needed to have in place. Because if, heaven forbid, they open the door to someone, suddenly now they're this weak, frail person who can't take care of things themselves. And that couldn't be further from the truth. it takes a team, it takes a village to handle things. And especially, you know, in this day and age, with our lives and this world being what it is, any little bit helps. And it's as simple as saying, you know, I may not completely understand it. But I'm here. Talk to me. Vent. This is my therapy. I honestly don't know any of you out there who are listening, watching, tuning in. But I feel like you guys just being there giving me this virtual shoulder, this virtual ear really helps. I feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders every single time I do one of these episodes. Because I feel like I'm making the progress that I was scared to before. Because for the longest time, as I said, I was ingrained in my brain that I have to handle everything by myself, behind the scenes, without offer and without asking for any assistance whatsoever. Because that's how he was raised. And that's how he was brought up. But I feel like ever since I joined a Facebook page for fathers called Featherwands. Highly recommend it. If you're a dad or any kind of a guy struggling out there with issues, regardless of what they are, join the page. Trust me. I had a guy he and I never talked before, didn't know each other from Adam. And I gave him my situation. I put a post out there saying what I've been dealing with, what I've been going through. And I also put the fact that I'm doing this podcast as kind of therapy for me. I had a really bad night the previous Friday. And I was just looking for any kind of light at the end of the tunnel, any kind of person that could, chime in on what I was going through. And he messaged me out of the blue and said that, I understand what you're going through to an extent. I haven't been through exactly what you're going through, but I kind of have similar things. he lended me his ear and we chatted for a while through Messenger. then the next morning he even followed up to see how I was doing. those little things, like just a follow-up that next morning, even because we were complete strangers less than 36 hours previous, means so much. He said, you know, one thing, and I agree with this a hundred percent, is to just keep mentioning that, life sucks and it is hard. It is. If it was easy, we'd all be on Dream Street at this point. But we're not. he said, he doesn't have clinical anxiety, but he doesn't know what actual anxiety feels like. He feels anxious sometimes, who doesn't? But his wife and his two girls have it, and he's frequently at a loss. Now, he's got his own battles, his own things that he's struggling with, but he said just by him openly talking about his issues. And talking to other guys on the Featherwands page about their issues. He got at least one guy this past year alone to go in to see a counselor. even just being honest with him, he was honest and vulnerable with his fiance. He let his guard down. And their wedding is still on in October. So, see, that's what I'm saying. It's just these little things you don't realize, Just having that shoulder, having that ear for someone. You don't realize how big of an impact you have on that person's life just by that small little token, giving a few seconds or a few minutes of your time just for them to listen. Even putting a post up, even spending, a couple minutes just responding to that post could totally change the course of that person's mood for the day. Hell could even possibly change their entire, arc of where their story is going. So it's things like that. It's these messages that I get on YouTube, on Instagram, on Facebook, TikTok. That is what I really appreciate. I appreciate you guys just being there listening to me, tuning in, viewing, but the conversations are even more valuable. Because it helps me realize, yes, I'm not alone. We're not alone. We're a community that's scared and afraid at times to admit that we need that help, that we need that support, that we need, even if it's not guidance, even if it's not a solution, just that person being there virtually or otherwise means absolutely everything. Because one conversation. can create a chain reaction. You have one person commenting on the post, another person stumbles across the post, sees something that catches their eye, they comment, and then another person and another person, and then next thing you know, you've got an avalanche going on. And that's the biggest win of just making one comment. It could start a chain reaction and start a legitimate conversation amongst tons and tons of people. like I said, just being open and honest with that other person made that person feel comfortable enough to see a counselor. by doing that, that guy became honest with his fiance about what he was dealing with. And their wedding is still on for October. Their relationship improved. It became even stronger That is huge because that one guy being honest and open. change that person's entire life, relationship, scope, everything. So to me, I take this to heart what my new friend said to me in one of the messages. If your words can help even one person, keep talking, they're listening. That's what's important to me. Because maybe we don't always need the perfect words. Maybe sometimes somebody just needs to know that there's another person on the other end saying, I hear you. I got you. Keep going. It's the biggest thing you can do right there. as I said, if your words help one person, keep talking. They're listening. So I'm gonna keep talking. I'm John Kanopic. This is the honest middle. We'll keep figuring it out together. See you next time.