John Knopick: Two episodes ago, I sat right here and I told you that I didn't want distraction to become the treatment. And I still don't. That still applies. But I've realized something since then. Maybe distraction doesn't have to be the treatment to still be one of the tools. Case in point, I was having a really kinda off Sunday, riding some waves that just come on at various times without even thinking about it. They just happen. And I was like really not looking forward to going to bowling because I bowl on Sunday nights. And got there, I drove to the lane, got, you know, I and I in the week before I'd actually struggled. I did really horribly bad. I don't know if it was because I was dealing with a bug or what the case was, but like the ball wasn't coming off my fingers right. It everything felt really heavier than usual. My my numbers were horrific. So I really wasn't anticipating much in the way of a relief from what I had been dealing with. But once I started throwing the practice balls, the ball was sliding off my finger easier. And I started to automatically feel a little more relieved. And the, you know, the clouds kind of dissipated a bit. And the more I kept practicing and throwing the practice balls before the leak started, the more calmer I felt. Then once the actual games began and I started actually throwing some really good balls, I started getting more and more confident. And I started I played music in my my earbuds. To kind of help me focus. And yeah, I started playing a bunch of dance tracks, different things like DJ Monster, stuff like that. And I felt my my toe tapping. I was getting into it. I was high-fiving my teammates more. We were talking a little bit more. I I really felt in the moment there, and my throws became more and more constant, even to the point where in the second game we were struggling against a team that really wasn't very good. And they needed me to basically carry. the team to help them make sure we won that game and I threw five strikes in a row. So needless to say, I was by the time I got up there and I already had my four baggers throwing my next ball in the tenth frame. I had that music cranked. I was dancing. I was moving and that ball was just effortlessly flying off my hand. And I did really good last last Sunday night. Leaps and bounds better than the week before. And as I was walking out to the car, I I thought to myself and I I messaged I was talking to my wife and I messaged her. I'm like, I need this, I want to talk about this in an episode. Because that's therapy, that's that's part of therapy to me, is distractions. Now, as I said, I don't want distraction to be the treatment. I don't want that to be the only thing that helps overcome. the clouds and the doom and gloom and the waves. But those distractions can definitely be play a role in helping overcome things. I I play softball on Saturday nights. Love playing softball. And again, first time ever last Saturday, I hit a ball over the wall. Never done that before. And again, even though I'm dealing with neck issues and I have it finally have my neurologist department appointment coming up on Monday, it was a distraction for me. For a couple hours for an hour, hour and a half to get away from things. And that I feel like is something I need to do every week. This is my process to be able to get through those waves and those things that come on out of the blue. And I I like that that distraction because when I was dealing with the crippling anxiety and the catastrophicness. I couldn't think about upcoming things. I couldn't think about things that were happening in the future because my brain was like, no, no, no, no, no. The sky is falling, all hands on deck, danger, danger, Will Robinson. You can't focus on anything right now, but in this moment, you're in sinking lava, hot lava right now. And there's nothing you can do. Anything you think about is going to get vaporized. And it was really hard because I'd never been through that before in my 46 years on this planet. So I didn't know. I didn't have the experience. I didn't have the knowledge, the tools. I didn't have people around me who had been through it to help guide me through what I was dealing with. So I had to find ways to overcome it. I had to find ways to continue to navigate through the darkness. I've come to realize that bowling and softball, which used to just be commonplace for me, have become arrows in my quiver to help me fight these battles. And those are things that I'm cherishing and holding on to. And the more I I had this new medications that I'm on and things like that. And the more that that's starting to take hold, the more my brain is starting to focus more. And like knowing that I actually have a neur neurosurgeon appointment on Monday. This time it will not be canceled because last week it was because of some bureaucratic paperwork that needed to be on file that wasn't there. But that was a whole rigor of another another story for another time. But To know I had the moment I knew that I I lock was locked in for Monday to have my neurosurgeon appointment, that took a weight off of me. And now my brain is thinking about, you know, we have season tickets to the Predators for the first time ever. And I'm excited about that. I'm excited about going back to school and finishing up one of my advanced degrees in November. I'm excited about taking my son and wife to Mercedes-Benz Stadium in October to see the Bears play the Falcons. There are so many more things coming down the pike that month or two ago, I wouldn't have been able to even think about because my brain would have like, screw that noise. We're dealing with this crap now. Nothing else matters. Who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow? But now, as time goes on and I find other ways and other methods and other abilities to fight these waves and finding tools so that way I know and I learn from those experiences. Hey, when this comes up. I know what this means. I kind of have a better idea how to handle it. Will I always be able to always overcome them? Not necessarily. Will never happen. Waves are not, they're you're not gonna get the exact same wave every single time. Waves are like snowflakes. They're gonna be different in size and duration and intensity. And you just have to continue to find ways to overcome them no matter how they throw them at you. I I still wanna be able to sit. on my couch and be okay in the quiet. That's something I'm still struggling with. It's getting better, but there's still a long way to go as far as that goes. And I don't want to need bowling or softball seven nights a week to keep my brain from eating itself or to keep my brain from throwing me in these pits and these like voids and things like that. But maybe while I'm learning to be okay with the quiet Maybe it's also okay to give my brain somewhere healthy to go when the waves show up, which is what I'm doing with the bowling and what I'm doing with with softball and stuff like that, because that's what we need is ways for us to overcome these things. You know, to me, in my case, it's bowling, softball. Other things to keep me distracted, keep me busy. I mean, I'm obviously doing the podcast. I'm I'm building out some some things with some side hustles I've got going on and things like that. That's that's my process. And I'm sure you, you listening out there, you have your own processes. And that's why I want to continue to get this engagement with you guys because I want to know what your tools are. Because again, we can we could bounce these ideas off of each other. Maybe some tools that I use that you've never tried before could help you, and vice versa. Tools that you use that make it easier on you. Get through things could help me that I've never thought of. It's this is all about conversations, guys. This is all about solving this crazy world that we live in in our lives one day, one moment, one instance at a time. Because we've gotta enjoy this time while we have it. Time is very fleeting. I have I deal with it a lot. I have a lot of issues when it comes to things going by too fast and things ending and things not liking to think about things further down the road that are, you know, eventuals. I don't like it. And I'm gonna be seeing a therapist to talk about it. But you know, I I for right now I'm embracing every single moment I've got and helping as many people as I can. And hopefully in in return, people can help me. And we can all get to the same point where we can just feel good about ourselves from day to day and enjoy our lives from day to day, be it small, be it chaotic, be it quiet, whatever the case is. Because you know, maybe distraction isn't always running away from something. Sometimes it's choosing what deserves our attention right now. That's what matters. I'm John Kanopic. This is the honest middle. We'll keep figuring it out together. See you next time.