Sophia Whitesell: Even they blocked the road. Even they stopped me. Even they close the doors. Even they hide my passport. What any reason they weren't just coming to stop me to playing soccer, but I didn't stop. I continue. Welcome to the Giving Game, the only show where professional athletes are banned from talking about their sport. That's right. No stats, no game recaps, no media trained answers. I'm your host, Sophie Weitzel, and every episode we find out who these athletes actually are when the cameras stop rolling and the jerseys come off. We're talking untold stories, questionable life decisions, dating disasters, money, family, fame, philanthropy, and all the stuff their PR teams would probably prefer stayed off the internet. But here's the twist. Every episode is tied to a charity or cause chosen by the athlete. So while we're exposing personalities, we're also raising real money and driving measurable impact for the organizations that matter. There are only three rules on this show. No sports talk, no filters, raise as much money as possible. So if you've ever wondered what athletes are really like off the field, welcome to the giving game. Let the game begin. Well, I I want to formally welcome you here today. Dr. Hajar Abufazul. She is has the most incredible, incredible story. And she is officially our first female guest. And I am honestly so honored that you are our first. I have you've been my dream first female guest for quite a while. I think you know that. So thank you again for coming today. I'm gonna tell Dr. Hajar the three rules of our podcast. It is we don't talk sports talk, we talk about real things outside of life. Two, we try not to have PR answers. Try to just keep it real with people. We try to make a real difference here. So keep it real. And ⁓ the third is to try to raise as much money for your cause that we possibly can. So are you ready? I am. Thank you. ⁓ yes. Welcome, welcome. So Dr. Hajar, will you tell me a little bit more about soccer without borders and and what cause you're championing championing here today? Thank you. ⁓ Soccer Lab Border is ⁓ a nonprofit in the United States and global and we have working in the different cities. It is nonprofit serving youthcomers and youth underserve and newcomers and refugee in the United States and different cities. I have honor to work in the different cities in Bay Area and Colorado and Boston and also in Maryland. And we have also outside of US two other cities. And two countries, Uganda and Nicaragua. We are all we are in the different cities, but we are all following in the same rules and the same curriculum we have built for our programming in soccer community and education. That we will our program is started with soccer, and we're inviting anybody through soccer that we're welcoming them from soccer. And the soccer is just the beginning. Then as soon we invite them and we have them as a team or as a player or as an individual, then the program real started that every coach in a middle school or in high school level or even ⁓ graduated, then we are offering as a mentorship or community building above the soccer field. Yes, soccer is very important for us, like daily, but most important is do they feel safe, they feel comfortable in our space. Yeah, I I love that. So do you care to tell my listeners just a little bit about your background and and kind of where you came from and how you got here? Yes. I born and raised in Afghanistan, a country thousand miles away from the United States. I raised there and I found soccer when I was a teenager. And the power of sport changed entire my life and and shaped my life. And now I'm so happy that I chose and I found a sport of sport. football we call there, but now we that gave me confidence, gave me pathway for my future, and opened a lot of opportunities. Then eventually a couple years playing in my high school, I selected as an Afghanistan ⁓ national team. Then with through the journey of Afghanistan national team, I had traveled in so many countries to compete and have a friendly matches. And yeah, it was kind of the best ⁓ memory of my life and I had ⁓ honor to represent my country inside of Afghanistan and outside of Afghanistan. And c after a couple of years playing in Afghanistan, then because of lack of security or so many other challenges we had, we most of our core players they left Afghanistan and they went outside to another countries to be safe. Then Kina we had lost a good amount of number in Afghanistan. Then Football Federation asked me to come and lead the Department of Women. Then as I started to work for Football Federation, kind of my mission shaped to not just playing technical key or kind of building skills for myself, and also it shaped to go knock the doors and bring more goals on the game. Like kind of we had couple numbers or couple teams in the city. But my mission changed to bring and increase the number inside of Afghanistan. Then after working day by day and year on year, then I could say like that was hard, but I was happy to do it because that was like kind of built myself to advocate more for the girls. If I give a little background from my country, it's that time we started soccer in Afghanistan, it was hard. And the families was coming after a couple of years of Taliban regime. What does that mean? That means all the girls and women was hidden enough in at home and they were not participating outside of the houses. That after Taliban went and the new government arrived, then that was like the time I found soccer. Then all the mindset of my people was kind of staying. To girls are not allowing to be outside. Then the advocacy of the my generation started to not just kick the ball in the field and representing the country. It made the we make the statement every time we go to the field, every time we go to the media, it was the voice or it was the sound to we have to say it and bring more girls in our team. Then after a couple of years of working. Then I made 5,000 girls registered in Football Federation. And we expand our work from one city to the seven major cities of Afghanistan. And we had international referees and we had coaches that they have higher educators, like dri like licensed coaching from Asia and also from FIFA. Then all those one is coming to we were just playing soccer same time we were coaching the younger ones. And the same time we were working for for Football Federation to bring more girls because we didn't have any archive. We didn't have any blueprint before us. We didn't have any like role model, like, okay, this is the coach. I could just ask them or I no resources, yeah. More neurosurces. But it was kind of we were doing all of it that was kind of shaped and I'm so happy it's still in the United States. I'm using the soccer and power of a sport to bring more girls in the game. Yeah, I I wanna circle back into how how long were you in Afghanistan under the Taliban regime when you personally were there? I born during of the first time of regime and my family had been forced to leave the Afghanistan. Then we ⁓ moved to another cities outside of Afghanistan to neighbor countries and we stay and I start my elementary in Pakistan and Iran. Then when Taliban left, then we came back. Like to answer that question, I was exactly not, I was six months when the Taliban was leading the country, then we left the Afghanistan. When we came back, then I finished my elementary, then I started my middle school in Afghanistan. Then I continue until I finished the whole education in Afghanistan. ⁓ yeah, that's absolutely incredible. I think you know, you've spent your whole adult life in in part of your teen life, it sounds like advocating for women and making sure that women have a room and a place in rooms and classrooms and in sports and that they have a place here. Who was that first person for you that was like, Hajjar, you have a place, you know, you're more than this. Is there anybody that ⁓ that resonates with you? Wow. I nobody asked me this question. I like to answer and I honestly I was in my high school around I I w I was about to finish my eighth grade to ri ⁓ to go to the ninth grade. I had my physical education ⁓ physical education teacher kind of in our in Kabul, Afghanistan, there is one teacher and she is leading the whole sport in the school. Then she was inviting all the girls to come play basketball because she used to play basketball in Afghanistan. Then one I any time I was touching the ball with my hands, but it was eventually was going to my feet. I kind of mm Like I like to f play football and I told her that I don't like basketball. I like to do football. Then she opened the opportunity for me and say let's start a team of football because I like also football. Then she opened the door and she introduced me to the football federation. She introduced me to another ⁓ s schools. I think that's ⁓ my physical education teacher, her name is Halima, was still in my mind because That was the first person believed on me and trusted me and gave me space to touch the ball, pass the ball, also created that space, like gave the ball, like ordered a ball to the school and we started with like if we we had basketball, ball, volleyball ball, but we didn't have soccer ball. Then she provided that's the start of my life with the soccer at that school with that teacher. Then that's why like I if I just jump into right now is like we always need a person, a coach, a space to believe on you, and that provide that space to you can go free, like play, like as a freedom, like as a free self. Like, yeah, that was kind of that was the teacher, I think. It's still in my mind. I I appreciate that you answered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you ask me that question. Yeah. I think that's just ⁓ You know, we all need to think about that and remember those people in our lives that believed in us and and maybe pushed us when we didn't even know we were capable of more, right? Because you've been told your whole life you're this. You know, if you're told you're an apple your whole life and somebody comes in and says you're an orange, you can be an orange, you can be whatever you want. You know, it's like almost like that first time somebody says it, you're like, ⁓ I can, you know. And so I think that's a really powerful thing to ask, you know, and I wanna you know, kind of touch on that a little bit because you are have mentored so many young women and you've come to America and ⁓ you know, done been that person for so many young girls. And I wanna know what is like your core mission when it comes to coaching. Is it to coach the game or is it to coach the person? I would say I coach the person. I yes, as a coach, like you winning is important, but like Skills and improve their knowledge about soccer is very important. But what I am serving or what I'm coaching is the community, they came here for safety. They forced to be here. Kind of voluntarily, they're not at that space. Like through soccer about borders, we are serving the newcomers and refugees. Kind of when the I have the players in front of me, I don't have them only as a soccer player, I have the whole human. Then I'm coaching them. to teach them directly or that indirectly to how they step to this field and how to get out of here stronger, more powerful, like not just a soccer player, as a leader, like how as a leader to they can make decisions for themselves, to be confident in any room they enter and anywhere they go to speak. Kind of that soccer gave me that power, gave me that confidence. And now I am going to coach my girls to be like that. Like if you are quiet, if your your English is the second language or even the third language, and you don't have any friend in this space, but we are here and ⁓ soccer reporters coach to provide that one and give you the space to you feel comfortable and find yourself better version of yourself. Well I I've learned so much just from speaking to athletes who kind of use their platform and they they say, you know, after they're done with their career, they go on and they like to mentor young kids. And it's all about you can't coach a person unless you know h who they are at home. Do you know if they're being abused at home? Do you know what their home life is like? Are they hungry? Are they coming to practice? You know, well fed? Are they coming, you know, do they have six other kids at home, you know, and ⁓ is it just a single mom? And you know, I feel like you can't properly coach a kid, right? Or motivate a kid if you don't know anything about them, because then it's just you're another number to that coach. Do you feel like that's an accurate statement? It is very accurate. It is kind of coaching is building trust, building connection with the players. If as you mentioned, if you don't know the pain, you cannot heal it. And you cannot pers like kind of as a doctor, because I studied medical doctor. If you don't know the pain, you cannot provide the medicine for them. Then you have to know. And we always make every day is working to make better connection with each other, me and my player, me and their parents, and bring that one and build the trust between three of us. Like always, they say, like, my work and my ⁓ mission is triangle, like me, one angle, the family and the players. And these try three angles are working with together. Like each of them should be strong to make another angle stronger. Then building trust between me and my player, a player between other with the family and family with me is kind of building to understand what it they are going through. If they are struggling with their school, are they struggling with financially? If they need support with for employment, that's why like part of our Soccer World Borders program is the community building. And part of that one is the family visit. Like every new sessions or new seasons, I'm going to see the parents and understand them what is what is going on with their life. And then they need anything, they need food, they need equipment, they need furniture. Like kind of that one because me, myself, or Soccer Reporters cannot provide all of it. But we have friends, we have connections. We know someone to make that happen. That's why, like part of like some Saturdays we don't have game days, then we are they're coming to the office so we can apply for driver license. We can apply for financial aid. We can apply for kind of health insurance for dental. Like all those ones is kind of supporting beyond the field to like understanding their sharing like coach Hajjar, I need this. If I understand, I will definitely help them right away. If not, I will connect them with another coach. Which like in SWB we have I'm I'm so happy that ⁓ one third of the Sagara border staff is alumni. The alumni that means they can speak different languages. Like I don't know the Swahili. I don't know like French. I don't know Spanish, but I have other colleagues to they can come connect with them. Like knowing another language in our staff is a huge and a strong part. that they can understand. Like we use the Google ⁓ translate, but that's not helping a lot. The human with the human is better. Then it's kind of like those players there from Afghanistan, I have a stronger connection. But I am trying to make another like the same level with another family, but will not be the same because I know their language. Then I'm asking the other coaches to just come and support them and help them. Kind of that's the pitch. Yeah, that's I mean I That's incredible. And I think that, you know, something that I've really learned, right? And 'cause that's that's the whole point of this podcast, right? Is that I I wanna learn and grow and learn from different people and different connections. And what I've learned is how many players are trying to make a shift in mental health awareness and how, you know, a lot of these people they've made it to the top. They've won World Series, they won Super Bowls, they may have won the World Cup, you know, all these things. And at the end they feel empty and asking themselves that question, why? And it starts with the coaches. It starts with how we are treating these players, you know, and how we are teaching them to look at winning. Like the game is not a means to an end, right? It's it's a tool to help you get to where you want to go. There's a reason that 92% of women in C-suites played sports. It's because they they learned how to kind of push themselves and learned how to take constructive criticism and And ⁓ learned how to, you know, work hard and be a team player and all of those things. But looking at the player as a whole is something that I have learned a lot about and saying, okay, after every game, I'm gonna ask my boys, I'm gonna, you know, ask my daughter, ⁓ what are three things you did really well? Because we don't ask them though, you know, they're really quick to say, ⁓ I need to improve on, you know, my kicking or need to prove on this or I need to get faster or whatever. But it's really hard for kids now. To say these are the three things I did really well. And that was a real like light bulb moment for me of, you know, they're just they're they're kids. Like they should be able to say, ⁓ I did this, I did awesome at this, I did, you know. And it's almost like they're kind of being robbed of that because, you know, we want to always be telling them to be pushing and striving for greater. So how do you balance that of saying, Okay, I want you to feel confident in yourself and I want you to know that you did really great, still pushing them. Right, because you still want to push a person a little bit to be greater because you see their potential, but you still want to stick to that core of you're doing you're doing amazing right where you are. You know, even if you never got any better at soccer, you're still an amazing person. And I'm wondering how you balance those two aspects as a coach. Honestly, ⁓ as my daily sessions are I feel like because I'm getting myself as a better coach, getting better licenses. Yeah. It's because I want the girls to get better because if when they compete with other teams and they win, I know the winning is not important, but winnings and losing are giving a good message for the players to get better from the last season, get better from yesterday. Improve. Yeah. Improve sure their skills. As soon as they get better because football matches and these competitions are giving a good feeling for the players when give you make a like confidence like make you stronger. The losers like finding your weaknesses. Kind of I'm pushing that one to they get better in the field. Because as soon as they get better in the field, they feel like, ⁓ I can do this. Then eventually with being better in the field, they will be better in school. Then they will be better in their life. Then they will be a good sister. Then they will be a good brother. Like kind of It's coming from the fields and it goes to their lives. Like that's why I'm always saying like soccer is a school of life. Like it gives you and teaches you in so many ways. And the who has the most important job is the coach. Like put everything together and guide them and find out. It will go back to what we said before, making trust, making connection, building those communication. It's arriving to what the player wants. Yeah. If my player doesn't want to go to be a referee or doesn't want to be a coach in the future, then Coach Haja will not force them. ⁓ coach is so good. Referee, it's fit for you. No, it's understanding what they are feeling or what they're interested. That's why always if I have them for the game or for the player like off the pitch, I'm asking what you're what what is your plan for next season? The plan is not only to go to the games, the plan is if you're a junior, you're going to the senior. Are you applying for the college? Do you need support? If you're going like if you're eighth grade, do you need any direction for which high school you select? Or like which college you want to apply? Yeah. Do you want to go to visit the colleges? Then kind of guiding them through in a positive way because Let me tell you story. Like there was a girl in my team, was like kind of I worked with her two seasons, and the end of the season I ask her, now next year you will be junior. Like it's kind of almost getting ready for the next step of your ⁓ education. What is your plan? And she told me, Cochajar, when I finish my high school, I really like to go work for McDonald's. That answer, like like kind of, you know, like you ⁓ You feel like she will give you an another answer. But yeah. And I it was it was so hard. I was mad, was sad, kind of ex a like complex a feeling. But I said, I take a break and I said, calm down. It's it it is like her idea. And I came back home and I was talking with my husband. I said, My player said that one. You know what I I I found out? It is because Nobody at their house, at their neighborhood, or at their network is not guiding her. What is next? She came to this country alone or with the family. Everything is new. The system is new. The in the language is new. The school is new. This all the system. That's why, like what she saw, that's her like that is her. That was her goal. That was her goal. Then I see it. You know, people become doctor, people become coaches, people can be security and police, like so many other careers are for the girls, is not just working. Then with that answer, I hold it and I will keep talking with my players. And now that was the start of to talking more, to just tell them these are the ways and these are the pathways. You girl, you can go there. This will be possible. Then I made a workshop in the middle of my season. I made a workshop to come build your resume, build what is the dream, what which dreams you have. Then they put the answers and put it on the flip charts, like writing on the stickers and flipping. Then I hold that one and kind of make it as an archive to see who wants to be what. Then I saw so many answers, but that made me happy. Some of them they said, I want to be nurse. Some of this, I wanna be pilot, I wanna be doctor. Though some of this said, I don't know, Coach Hajar, but I want to be like you. Like and said, like these answers made me happy. Then I keep working with them and talking to this is the pathway, this is the way you need and get better. Kind of it's coming back to our ⁓ first when we start, the coach is very important. Like who is coaching you? Where you're c or like playing very much very important. It's so important because that person can change your life left and right and can understand you and show you on the right way or understand you but not showing the right way. And it will you will might go to work somewhere you don't deserve. Absolutely. And you know, and this is on a on a scale of just you know, I had women at the hospital that they were housekeepers and they were Really just super brilliant, you know? And I just talked to them and I was like, Did you guys ever go to school? Like, did you ever want to go to college or want to, you know, not trying to be patronizing, but just asking, did you want to do those things? And it was, ⁓ my family was so poor, I didn't even know that was an option. Right. So I think that that is like universal in the sense that there are people that have barriers in their mind based on what they know and what's available. And There are so many resources out there that are available for people. And that's why I wanted to start this podcast because people don't know. It the nonprofit market is kind of oversaturated a little bit to where people are like, I don't even know where to start. And so if we say, hey, if you think Coach Hajar is cool, like you're gonna listen to the podcast and she's gonna tell you all about, you know, soccer without borders. And you, she's gonna tell you all the cool things about that. And, you know, maybe somebody would say, ⁓ that's awesome. Like I wanna be a part of that. And so just giving people that opportunity to say, I I want to be more, but I don't know how. And, you know, maybe this is just the starting point where you say, Okay, I'm gonna be your how, you know, and I wanna be that resource for you. And I want to know personally what the most rewarding moment that you've had experiencing helping young girls. I have ⁓ many ⁓ stories. But I could say one that one of ⁓ my player ⁓ came to ⁓ United States like two months before k joined our team. And she was ⁓ really quiet and silent, but sometimes playing, sometimes not playing. But ⁓ eventually like being on the team, talking with the other girls slowly, then after a couple of season, exactly four seasons, then I saw her. She becomes a strong person. She was she be she was joining our referee training and she became referees to coach the younger girls in middle school. And asking her me, like, can I be elementary assistant coach? Kind of those one that shaped goes to where like from quiet person to a strong person and have a strong voice in the team. Like kind of always I say, like, okay, they arrive here feeling uncertain. feeling like being quiet, doesn't know like how to do it. But eventually being in the team with the stock roboters and coaching, they will become someone they even didn't think about it or they even not dream of it. But now I have not only one, I have multiple like the like kind of that players, they are feeling strong in the in the field. And anytime we make a circle and everybody's in the circle, like she it has a strong voice. She is guiding, like kind of even if I'm not there, she is collecting all the players to come and run the station or run the root trail. Kind of that one is like always I see, like, okay, soccer C, if you are a quiet, so shy person, but eventually you will find your way in the field to lead a group of team. Now, anytime I'm saying to my players, This is an example and a pla ⁓ a place you can learn and you can gain experience and you can earn a lot of good memories from here. Eventually, if you go to the bigger group and your college will be a lot of players, a lot of teams, and a lot of people, then other places, like it's starting from here, but if you go to the big place, you will not feel shy again. You will be stronger and you will be more confident to speak. That's kind of a story I could say. Like I see how this transformed from a quiet person to a strong person in the field. And I am sure when she goes to college, when she goes higher education, she will be the same. And she's carrying this feeling in a longer time. Yeah. I I wonder, ⁓ you know, you don't coach boys, do you? You're only females, correct? I coach ⁓ I used to coach elementary. It was a coet ⁓ team. ⁓ and I stopped last season because now I am a commissioner of middle school league. It's which is specific for girls. And ⁓ that's why my high school girls are going to coach the ⁓ roughlying the middle school and ⁓ currently I'm not coaching the boys, but I ⁓ and and during of the summer is one of part of our ⁓ work because soccer reporters is all year long program. We have summer season and it's fall season, but between these two, which is summer and winter, in summer we have a summer camp. In the summer camp, everybody is coming, all the coaches together and all the high school girls, high school boys, middle school and elementary, everybody's on one soccer camp. Then who is older, which is high school ⁓ boys and girls, they are coaching the middle school and elementary and for five weeks. Or two weeks because we have summer come in different cities. In Baltimore, we have five weeks. In Boston, we have three weeks, like kind of at different weeks, but we do the same curriculum. Like high school girls will be high school ⁓ participants will become the leader to coaching the elementary and middle school during of the summer. And the winter time, we do a lot of community building. On the community building, we do like taking them to hiking, taking them to camping. Like kind of being outside of the summer to get learn from the community. Yes. I then on the summer I have coaching the high school boys with high school girls together to they can co coach the covet of our summer camp. Do you feel like coaching young girls has healed something within you where maybe you were taught or believed when you were younger that you couldn't be more or couldn't do more? Because of where you grew up and because of what the Taliban perpetuated about young girls. Like, do you feel like it's healed something within you that I am enough? I am I am strong. I am, you know, all of these things that they told me I wasn't for so long. ⁓ If I take you back, this is a very good part. It's healing and I'm feeling and I am watching it or witnessing every day that soccer has shaped my life. I become who I want to be, even They blocked the road. Even they stopped me. Even they close the doors. Even they hide my passport. Even like what any reason they weren't just coming to stop me to play soccer, but I didn't stop. I continue. But after a long time, because I I never gave up. I could keep continuing. I keep playing. I keep advocating and nobody could stop me until now. What who I become, I'm so proud. That's why I stay on the field. I never left the football. I never left the page. I'm still in the page to what I receive, but I'm feeling I want to give it back to the community. Not only for the girls, for the whole youth, for the whole generation. Because every single person who is a boy, who is a girl, they deserve to be strong. They deserve what they want to be. Like nobody could stop them. Like who are older, like a mom or a dad. or an aunt or an uncle, you are the person to provide for them, not stop them. If you don't know what they're saying, what they're desiring, you don't need to stop them. You can coach, you can introduce them to the coach. You can introduce them to a counselor. You can introduce a to a mentor, not stopping them. That's why like we are using soccer in the soccer borders. To give them that confidence, make that safe space for the young generation who are arriving in this country and not having anybody and not knowing any system. And like as I say, like the soccer just started, but it is the space could create a lot of opportunity for the younger generation. And that's why I keep doing it till they can feel confident. As soon you understand yourself and you feel confident, then you can under you can find the pathway. You can change your career. You can change the pathways because you are a strong person. And none of those loss or none of those moving or being in a different places in a new cities or new countries will not stop you because you already built yourself a strong and a company. You have it, you have it in you. You just mean you have it. Just location will be changed. The cities will be changed. The team will be changed. The coach will be changed. But you never be changed because you have the mission already in your heart, in your like core of your like mind. That's why I want to try and giving back to the community, giving back to the the players. And what I am doing directly or indirectly with my players to keep them telling them to you are a strong person. And if you are not, you will become a strong person. But what with the practicing, with being in the field. with coming and taking assignments, taking like ownership, taking like kind of become like captain of the team and talking with the people. Like what other I'm doing it is on the circles to when we do some laps to running, ⁓ like do stretches, wh while do we do stretches, like we make a big circle and I say like who wants to be leader today to run the stretches? Kind of giving that position to they feel, ⁓ I own this place or I can do this one. Where you can find that like in the younger age, where you can lead people, this is the place. This is the space we are providing to they can feel a strong. They can own. They can lead them like their peers. Then eventually with the practicing like one season, the second season, the third season, like you will learn. You eventually it will be part of your life. It will be part of you. I have A question for you. What do you feel is the difference between being a leader and being in charge? What will be the difference? What's the difference between a leader and being in charge? What makes a true leader? I could say what is in charge, what is giving to you, you're just doing that one, like kind of assignment. A kind of a boss. Like you're just doing that job, and you know the big start and finish, done. When it finished that. But leader is understanding everybody, understanding the environment. What is good, what is not good. Kind of the leader, I could say that is to adapting quickly with the situation it is. Like kind of if I am a coach to in charge of just coaching coach this team in a specific time and in a specific place, then I will not go beyond that. I will not go visit the families. I will not go to see other friends. I will not meet them at their lunchtime at the cafeteria at their during their school time. I'm not making more connection. I'm just doing the job. Yeah. The reader is going beyond what is it ha they have been told or what they have given. That's why like they could see around. And every player is what I am trying to do. make them leader is that to understand adapt with any situation like yeah take the control but understanding yourself your problem your pain your background kind of we have a manter at the chakra borders leave your shoes behind the door it is like kind of who you are what you have in your heart leave it when you come to this space like make everybody happy make everybody joy And I understand the situation. If a person doesn't want to play, don't force them to play. Sure. Don't be that bossy person. Humble in the team. Like kind of that one is like in every session, we are providing them and I could see the result from them. Like where and when they're referee, where when they are the youth leader, where when they could go to the school and talk with their teachers, talk with the principal, or join the culture night. Or lead the people like, let's go, like, let's do this is so cool or this is so nice from soccer team. Let's do at this cultural night at the school. Or if they have any festival in their schools, I could see these soccer players are so creative and doing a lot of good activities during their schools. That's kind of the leader we want to see to not just be in one place in one direction. We want to be in Like open and beyond what they they are. What do you feel like people's biggest misconception about you has been? Wow, I I don't know, honestly. Yeah. You feel like is there anything about you that people maybe misunderstand that you're like, ⁓ no, I'm actually not like that at all? Most of my colleagues and the pre people who met me first, they feel like I'm very strict and very boss. But eventually they say, ⁓ you're so friendly. ⁓ you're very like kind of cool. Like before it they feel like I'm very strict, acting so professionally and like just strict. But eventually they say no, I'm very humble and I'm very friendly. Like when I came to my ⁓ new city and most of this yeah, like, wow, Kutotar, he's so straight or so like direct. Kind of they feel that one. But They told me after a long time meeting each other and working together and it's saying like, No, you're very friendly, kind of that's the only thing came and I think I think it's like very intimidating when you when someone knows your story, right? Because they know everything that you had to overcome to be here today. And you think to yourself, Okay, I think I'm a pretty strong person, but I am not stand up to the Taliban strong, so that person is a badass. Like if it's intimidating. So I could definitely see where people would be very intimidated by you. Yeah. I think it's coming from soccer. I'm giving your the what I have, it it is the power of sport, the power of the field. Do you are your is your family still back in the Middle East? They moved when the 2021 when the Taliban came for the second time and took the co the control of Afghanistan, they couldn't stay because it was not safe. My father was also part of government and worked for government for so long. And my sisters like four sisters, they are so educated and four of them are in they work in a high level country in high level part of Afghanistan before Taliban. Then they couldn't stay because Taliban was The first action or the first step they took it was to remove any Afghan like any girls and women from any s part of society. That's why they banned education, they banned war employment for women and girls, and they banned the whole act sport activities. Before we had twenty-three federations in Afghanistan, that twenty-three sports were actively making teams, making coaches, making proud for the team, but the whole activities got banned. Like all of those activities and it was it was not safe for most of the girls and women who were actively their face was on the public and they were publicly speaking. It was not safe for them then they moved from ⁓ outside of Afghanistan, but they are safe now. Is there a misconception maybe that you had about Americans living in the Middle East and then when you came here, you're like, ⁓ that wasn't true at all. Honestly, I didn't have that kind of put most people say like culture shock or ⁓ surprising because before I coming to United States, I travel ⁓ to so many countries, to Europe countries, to Asian countries, and I came a couple of times in United States and I had a lot of friends from many countries. I eventually would every match we went outside of Afghanistan through Afghanistan national team or every training or sessions or workshop, I went after outside of Afghanistan. I learned and I met multi people from different backgrounds and different cultures. Then I understand before like I learned before I moved outside of Afghanistan that I don't have that one like kind of then so can you give maybe my listeners because there may be people that listen to this that are kind of just sports fans or fans of like listening to nonprofits, those things. They may not know a lot about the Taliban, but it's obviously a very important it's very important to understand who they are, what they represent, what they're doing to females, what they're doing to your country. And if you could just give a brief synopsis of what they are and what they do. My perspective is they are ⁓ they have been a terrorist group and they came to Afghanistan in nineteen ninety six first time and they destroyed so many places and they took over the government and the elite. The first thing they did, they stopped the whole schools education for Afghan and girls. Because before 1996, we had a lot of girls, doctors, engineers, and all the universities was where like girls and boys together, they were getting education. Even I heard from my family that ⁓ international student was coming in Kabul to t mm to study, then just suddenly Taliban came for five years and it stopped everything. Then everything vanished. Like all education was banned for Afghan women and girls. And it was the only thing they could do, it was raising children, getting married. It was the whole purpose, it was to just be at home, raise children, clean, wash as just a staying home. Like kind of they be they they build that one to just you don't you're not built a for outside you you don't you don't need to get education you just need to read Quran and kind of the girls could go to the sixth until like sixth grade but most of the girls are not allowing even to go to the sixth grade. It was like just kind of it was say like no for Allah. Then when the new government arrived and 2021 and US came to Afghanistan, the whole ⁓ real Afghanistan was just rebuilding. That's why, like I say, like when we came back also to Afghanistan around 2002, then the whole yeah, it was a v above big changes in Afghanistan. The old moms and aunts and dads and brothers, everybody was coming outside, going to get education, get employment, get better. That's why we start to get that. Encourage to start soccer. And we started football around 2025-2026. And before that, was not anyone kicking the balls in Afghanistan. Then like that wave was going to every sector. That's why, like around 2026, when the UN published a research that was Afghanistan had 37% of Parliament was women. And we had almost 10. Ambass women ambassadors in different countries, and we had 23 federations, sport federations. And in any sectors you see, we have accomplished so many good, ⁓ accomplished a lot in so many sectors. We had so many doctors, engineers, and we had pilots, we have soccer players, we have coaches, we have referees, we had so many that like like life was going rising so quickly and going up suddenly. But during of this years, we we were rising up, but it's ⁓ like while Taliban was disrupting us to come and explode. There was a lot of explosion during of like 2024 until like the they came back. Yeah. It was like school got exploded. Like the wedding ⁓ ceremony was exploded. Like many, many people got killed. It was just kind of disrupting to not do activities and the message was this that any like the message was to the foreigners are in Afghanistan and they're destroying Afghanistan. Then all those ones, but I seen a lot of girl girls and women, they never stopped. They keep fighting, they keep advocating and they keep ⁓ encouraging and they get like you. You are one of them. Yeah. And they get accomplishment and they get is ⁓ keep ⁓ doing ⁓ good work for Afghanistan to build better Afghanistan, like kind of in so many ways we rebuild so many societies, institutes, schools, hospitals. ⁓ we were in a good positions. Anytime I was going outside of Afghanistan to represent my country when I come back, I had that pride feeling. I was on the like I was thinking and I'm in the golden tie. But the only thing we were lucky it was lack of security because nobody like every day I was going outside of home to go to school or go to the football federation, I was aware I might not come back home. I might be one of those girls to get exploded ⁓ get exploded, g get killed. Kind of every girls in Afghanistan, they were working, they were studying, and at the same time they had that feeling. Every time we were going outside of home, we said goodbye to mom and my dad because we were we taught we were feeling we might not come because in front of us there was like so many people got killed. And during ⁓ 2016, 2017, situation was getting harder, like the security part. But in meanwhile, none of this generation stopped their advocating. Nobody was stopping and nobody was had a fear about that. Like yes, it was so hard, dangerous for everybody, but I I don't know what was inside of us. What was inside of us what keep pushing us to just continue until the Taliban we are not stopping. We are not that generation to stop and let you to come over as and stop as and let ⁓ like hide us at home and just make four walls in our houses. Then Sadly, then 2017, 2.6 million of Afghan they dis they got displaced and one I was one of them and my life got disrupted and I moved to United States only because to be safe, because that was a golden time for me to present my country, to become doctor in my country, to serve my people in the football federation and also in the hospital. I was working in a hospital like nights and I was working in a football federation and days. But I never got tired. One day my sis older sister said, Hajr, anytime I see you, I feel like you're like a you become kind of a machine. And I said, Why you say that? And she said, You're studying your medical doctor and you're going to hospital three nights, four nights a week to work midnight, like over like taking the shift off night. And the day you're going back to practice of your national team and also working for Football Federation to not stopping the this movement. You're continuing and you're working to continue this movement to bring more girls in the Federation. Then what I'm seeing, like I'm so first of all, I'm so imper ⁓ impressed that how you're not getting tired. I was walking waking up like early and I sleeping late night, but kind of every day was the job, like It was me, but I I understand like me was hundred girls in Afghanistan doing the same to keep ⁓ this movement strong and ongoing. Then I moved to US and a couple years I paused my career, I paused my work, I paused my ⁓ like I didn't have my family here. I left everything in Afghanistan. Then I was Feeling so alone, like s but the only thing I didn't l left, it was my mission for soccer. Then luckily I found soccer borders, then I'm calling home because Sakura Borders was is doing exactly what I was doing in Afghanistan, to get the girls to the game, get them in the field, bring them to give that confidence and give that space for them. Then yeah, I started when as soon I saw the mission and their website and I said, that is their organization of missions, but that's my life mission. Then it like quickly I adopt and I found myself at home. That was the power of sport that I didn't lift. I had it but myself to carry and now I used to do for one nation in Afghanistan. Now in the United States I do for multi-nations. We are serving 56 countries in this organization, and we have 46 languages. And I I know I don't know a lot of languages, but I what I found is in girls who came from South America, who came from Central America, who came from Middle East, who came from South Asia, all of us or all of them had a common. And what is it? They feel alone here. They left everything home. And now they're here for safety, for new life. That's why soccer without border is very important. And we are serving in a very important generation. And I am so glad we are using soccer to build their life in a better version. All of them are coming here, and we have a comment to the parents, they c they have parents or they don't have. But they have soccer. Soccer doesn't need language. Doesn't need a huge stadium, a huge building. It needs only one ball, one coach, one safe space, which we are providing for that, for them. I want to go back to what you said earlier because it just like hit me like a ton of bricks when you told me that you would leave home and every day you'd go to soccer practise. Practice, you would be hugging your parents and telling them bye because you never knew if the Taliban would kill you. And I just, I can't even imagine the trauma that you've had to overcome and getting into a positive mental space to where you feel you can trust again. Because really, I mean, your whole, you know, you you're growing up, you learn to not. Trust adults, really. I mean, you never knew if you'd be killed. You were told that you couldn't be what you wanted to be, that you were a woman, that you couldn't do anything other than be a housewife. And how you have learned to heal that part. And I I want to know how you learn to heal that, where you learn to trust people again, or if you still have issues with that where you think. It's something you continue to work on, but you have had a lot of trauma in your life. And ⁓ I'm wondering what your message is to people that have dealt with a lot of trauma like you have in learning how to heal. It is hard. It is hard that you work hard in a positive way and you think everything will be best, everything will be okay. But we experience everything will will not be the same way you're thinking. The security is not safe. The place you're going, not safe. As you mentioned, the people are around you're not trusting. ⁓ with all those ones, it comes, I could say comes back to the field. We trust the coach. We trust the space we are entering. And with that one, we are providing a better version of the people. What I had, it was support I supporting of my family. I had family with me. I had a school. I had a teacher. They are were in kind of supporting me in any ways with having them in my life. And like kind of we're saying, I have my moms pray with me, that's why I'm alive. Or I have my mom with me. My moms pray, that's why I'm strong. Kind of that one we had it in our heart and our and our mind mind that ⁓ keep us to stay strong and keep moving. And back, I should say it is not easy. It is not easy easy when you're sleeping, when you're in the car, when you're watching around, you feel like anything could happen now. When I was in 2026, end of two thousand twenty six, I was in my medical school in my class and we had a final ⁓ internal surger surgery exam and we were Like just taking our exams and then everybody was like sitting around, like my my teacher, my teacher was around and my s classmate was around. Then the huge explosion happened in less than half a mile from our university. And the whole building was glass and all shrinked and everything goes down. And the only thing I remember that the teachers was like pushing us to one one ⁓ room to stay there and we stay there for six, seven hours because behind like outside it was Taliban and also this ⁓ police and the security from Afghan army were just fighting. Then those that day we lost a lot of young people and that explosion, but I was saved. But I we lost like only two, three students from university. But kind of we had not This is one example, but we seen in so many tragedy and dangerous a scenario in Afghanistan. I'm not saying all of the death pass cuts. It's I'm getting like heavy feeling, but it was not easy for anybody. Taliban had been killed so many young girls, so many young generations. And one of the one day what I I still remember around 2017. One car was coming from media to their houses, then seven journal young jo young journalists just got killed. Another another girl just came from Kyrgyzstan, getting their master, came back to Afghanistan and got job at the UN woman and she just got killed because you were working for for like outside of home or working in the government. All those ones like it was hard and my dad or my mom saying like stop. It is enough. But we I was saying like we haven't accomplished. We haven't finished. The mission is on. We have to keep continuing. We have to go in. Then what do we have? We had each other. We had our peers. We had our students. We had our teachers. We would keep talking and giving each other like safety or good feeling or motivation. It was all that. We never give up. We never stop. We never left the field. But Because of safety, we I moved here. ⁓ but now I'm I have I have the fields to give other ones. And I think it come back to your question, like how we stay. It was kind of the mission we chose that was kind of this is my vision and this is my mission, and I am doing it. Until now, I'm never stopping it and I'm not stopping and I keep continuing. The geography changed, the city changed, but my mission is still the same to providing good service and good platform, safe space for the younger generation today have the better, safe life in the future. The resistance through soccer. That is ⁓ honestly, you need to write a book because your story is fascinating. And ⁓ your courage is something I really believe that should be envied because ⁓ there's so many people that you know they say that there's two types of evil there's people who do evil things and there's people who sit by and watch evil things happening and don't do anything about it. And you had the feeling of being killed every day leaving the house and you continued to say, no, this is the right thing to do. And women should be able to go to school. They should be able to play sports. They should be able to do anything a man here should do and I'm gonna keep doing this. And there's not a lot of people that have that type of bravery and that kind of courage. And I think that you should just know what a rare, rare breed you are. So I just wanted you to know that because I'm you I'm so inspired by you and so inspired by everything that you've done. And we will continue to push ⁓ this movement for you and ⁓ I genuinely believe in what you're saying that soccer can change lives and it's it's more than soccer. It's not about soccer, it's about letting people know that they could be anything that they want to be, and you give them that confidence. So thank you so much for coming on. And honestly, I could probably have you on every week and hear a new story every week and be just as fascinated. ⁓ but truly I think that you should write a book because you are an absolutely fascinating human being and ⁓ I really, really appreciate you being here today. I appreciate. Thank you for having me. I would say mm, ⁓ whether you're coaching or you're volunteering or you're organizing or investing in any places, especially in the soccer, especially in soccer robot is you're part of this movement. And anybody who is working in any ways, they are part of this ⁓ movement and you're part of the change. Hell yeah. I'm here for it. Let's girls rule the world. Let's go. Yes. And at the end I would say, like, because of this community, like soccer reporters, we are opening and building, opening the doors. And those doors will stay open for the younger generation. I love it. Dr. Hajar, thank you so much. I will continue the movement. So thank you. It was so nice having you today. I'm sorry I went a little over time. ⁓ but I really appreciate you coming on. I appreciate it. I ⁓ I it's okay. I I ⁓ I can't I sa I didn't see the time, but I didn't either. I was just like fascinated. I was like, ⁓ gosh, I went over, sorry. ⁓ but ⁓ thank you so much. and we will be posting this all over social media. So to all of our followers, if there is any way that you want to get ⁓ involved, if you want to donate, if you want to volunteer. If there is any way that you want to be a part of this movement with soccer without borders, ⁓ where should they go, Hajjar? I could say soccer borders is we have on our website and then a website we have the part for donations. They c it can go to our ⁓ soccer reporters, or if they are close to Marlin, close to Colorado, close to Bay Area, they can select their locations. And we are receiving directly from the cities they're providing. And I would r appreciate for any like dollars or any support through soccer reporters because the young generation who are ⁓ in our team or in our community, they deserve and what about if there's a little girl out there that loves soccer and wants to join? How would she go about that? ⁓ they can talk with their school because in schools we like if we are Located in different cities, I don't know who you will listen from which locations, but we have four how ⁓ four cities right now. Baltimore, Maryland, we are, and we are in Boston, Massachusetts, and we are in Denver and Greeley and Colorado, and we are in Oakland and San Francisco at California. Like if you are around these cities or these neighborhoods, we are welcoming you. to this community and any age. We have programming at elementary, middle school and high school. And if you would like you're graduating, you're also welcome to come to be part of this community as a part time job or as a coach or as a referee or as a volunteer or as a mentor. Like if you have any skills so you can provide for our girls and boys or for the youth, you're welcome to come to any of these cities and And you guys provide all equipment. I'm gonna put that out there too. They provide s if you don't have the money, your family doesn't have the money, you guys will provide everything for them as well. So please talk to your schools. Our program is a free program ⁓ all year long. Then but most of programm ⁓ after school, like during of the school, we will not have the program, but after school we have program and the school is closed and we are still active. And it's free for everybody. We are providing equipment. We are providing uniforms, even the cleats, because we are receiving ⁓ all the equipment and we're providing for all of the girls and boys who are coming to our program. And we wanna see this keep growing. We wanna see this go to every major city in America. So let's keep moving ⁓ and pushing soccer without borders. So please again, last round of applause for Dr. Hajar. You did such an amazing job and I really, really appreciate you and just admire you so much. Thank you so much. It's good to talk to you. Thank you so much. Hey, have a great day. You as well. Thank you. Bye. And that's the giving game. If today's episode hits close to home for you, the donation link for this athlete's charity will be in the description below. And if you can't donate right now, hey, that's okay too. Just do something kind for somebody today. The world needs more of that. See you next time.