Nicole: Hello and welcome back to Heal Out Loud and today I want to talk about something that all of us go through. It's like when everything, and I mean everything, is working against you. It's like the universe or God, they're out to get you. Where every door closes, every plan falls apart and you're just sitting there thinking, what the hell is going on? I see you and I know that this feels really heavy and what we're going to be talking about today is not just about what to do and how to survive this period. but more so how to change your current reality from the inside out. So the first thing, and I know that this is the hardest thing, is acceptance. You need to come to terms with what you're going through right now. You need to accept what you're going through because the more that you're going to resist it, the more it's going to show up in your outer reality. So accept that you're going through a really not okay time right now and that's how things will start slowly, slowly shifting. and take some time for yourself to rest. And I know when things are not working out, the last thing that you have on your mind is to rest, especially at night. You don't even manage to sleep a full night, let alone to rest throughout the day. But the more you're going to try and fix this in the now, the less you're going to manage because think about it, when your phone is on 1 % battery, it glitches, it take a lot of time to load, it takes ages, it freezes, and that's the same goes with humans. When we are on 1 % battery, when you're operating from that 1 % battery, you're gonna glitch, it's going to take ages for your brain to load. So what you need to do is you need to rest. Because something that will take you three hours, four hours in exhaustion, will take you just 30 minutes. When you rest and you have a fresh, a pair of fresh eyes and a fresher brain, things are going to make sense quicker and you will have solutions which will be appearing to you out of nowhere. way quicker when you're at rest. When you're exhausted, you're just going to make stupid decisions. You're going to argue, you're going to snap, you're going to be arrogant, you're going to be rude, which will cause more issues and then you can feel even more sorry for yourself. So very important to take some time to rest. And this is a very difficult thing to do, especially if you're the type of person that needs to fix things in the now, but you need to learn how to take some time away from the situation so that you can let it unfold naturally and that you can look at it again with a fresher brain. And this will also help you not just in the now when you're going through issues in your personal life, but even for example when you maybe have an argument with your partner or when you're dating and you want to say something and this acceptance and distressing and pausing helps you to learn how to pause also in your romantic relationships which avoids a lot of arguments. The next thing I want you to focus on is stop repeating the same negative story over and over again. Stop telling all your family, all your friends, all your colleagues what's happening to you because the more you're going to explain and go over this story, the longer you're going to stay on that frequency and the longer you're on that negative frequency, the more negative things you're going to attract. When you're repeating the story to everyone, you are attracting more of that negativity back into your life. And sharing it with someone is okay, but sharing it with all the people and repeating it all throughout your day. is not okay, you're just doing that because you need empathy and you need sympathy but you can get that in a different way. In a way that doesn't ruin your progress and in a way that you stop attracting negative things. The third thing and this is really important, stop shaming and blaming yourself. The more you're going to shame and blame yourself, the more things that you're going to attract into your life that you can feel ashamed about. Shame is the lowest frequency that one human can operate from and when you're on such a low frequency you're going to continue attracting things on a lower frequency. Instead of shaming and blaming yourself, be honest with yourself and say, listen, I don't want to this mistake again because this is where this mistake led me. However, I am human and life doesn't come with a man will and we all make mistakes. And yes, we all make big mistakes. And the more you're going to shame yourself, the more mistakes you're going to make. For example, when I used to binge a lot, the more I shamed myself because of my binging problem, the more I wanted food to calm myself down. So you need to stop the shame and blame spiral and you need to become aware to accept that you don't want to do that again, but to be kind and compassionate and to forgive yourself. The next thing is do one thing that you really enjoy today. Just one thing that you really enjoy today, maybe a food that you really love eating, maybe going for a walk or maybe watching something that makes you laugh. So you can shift from a negative frequency to a positive one, because when you shift your frequency, you can attract more positive things. And most importantly, also do a gratitude list. I know, I know that right now you do not feel grateful for anything. But if you do not have an ulcer in your mouth, you should already be grateful. If you do not have a runny nose, you should already be grateful. If you have a set of eyes and ears, you should be grateful. I know when everything's going wrong, grateful feels impossible, but you can walk, you can read, and there is so much to be grateful for. And the more gratitude you're going to express, the more things to feel grateful about you're going to receive. Because gratitude is the currency of the universe. Give it more gratitude and it will give you more things to be grateful for. Think about it. Imagine you give a gift to someone and they don't express gratitude, they don't say thank you. You will never want to give them again. However, when it's someone that's always saying thank you and they're showing their gratitude and they're expressing how much they like this thing, you want to give them more. So express gratitude. Very, very important. And here's the most powerful thing that I can share with you. Say thanks as if you received everything you're hoping for. Live from the end. Ask yourself, if I had everything that I already wanted, the money, the relationship, the health, the physique, the peace, the life, how would I be showing up in my day-to-day life? You would smile more, you would laugh more, you'd be kinder, you'd rest more, you'd chill more, you won't be in panic mode all the time, you wouldn't be gossiping, you wouldn't be comparing yourself to others. you'd be calm, grounded, peaceful and trusting. So you can do that already. Start showing up as the version that already has it all and watch how quickly your life unfolds. Because that is how your outer reality changes by changing your inner reality first. If you go in front of the mirror and you have blonde hair and you want to see yourself with black hair, you're not expecting the mirror to change your hair. You change your hair first. So that's what you need to do. You need to change your inner reality and then the reflection will change too. You don't wait for things to get better to feel better. You feel better and then things will get better. And remember, your personality becomes your personal reality. So if your personality is of someone who gossips, who's always angry, who's in a bad mood, that's what you're going to see in your outer reality. Whereas if you're someone who's kind, loving, genuine, peaceful, calm, grounded, then that's what you're going to see unfolding in your outer reality. So if you're in a season when nothing is going your way, I want you to hear me out. This is not permanent. This is a small chapter of a whole book. Rest, forgive yourself, do one thing that brings you joy. Practice gratitude, start living from the end. Your reality is waiting for you to shift. Because your nervous system can only hold what feels safe for you to hold. If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs to hear it today. And if you want to go deeper into this work, into inner child healing, into shifting your reality from the inside out, contact me on my Instagram at EvolvingWithNicole or on my email, Nicole at evolvingstar.com. Thank you for being here and I wish you a very happy weekend and I will see you again for the next one.