S3E32: Does it have to do with Shadow Fox? No, it has to do with my age and how I'm more and more each day becoming a n a 90-year-old grumpy man. I could have told you that. I know. This is why I wanted to tell you this story. Hold on, hold on. Let me Did you hurt something? No, I didn't hurt anybody. Maybe somebody's feelings. You hurt someone's feelings. So it's something that you said to a coworker who's much younger than you. Nope. Nope. This is I don't know if you'll ever even guess this one, but no, it wasn't a coworker thing. Do you want to guess again? Yeah, no, you said I'm not gonna guess it, so why would I keep going? So as you know, it is politics season, right? midterms are happening. Everybody and their brother is out banging the banging the drum for voting, right? And I, like most, are getting the spam text messages about getting out, starting early voting, voting by mail, and help our schools, you know? Which Everybody has their own opinion. You can do what you want, right? But today I got a text message that said I won't say like which a party it was affiliated with, because it doesn't matter. It would have would have happened either way. But I got a text message. make sure you sign up for early voting, which happens today. And you know, you can click here for instructions to vote, or you can call our help hotline for help. So I called I called the hotline and I got somebody on the phone and they're like, thank you for calling whatever, whatever voting hotline. How can you help you? I was like, and then this was a very polite way. I didn't like yell at the individual on the other end, but I asked, I was like, I got two questions for you. One, how did you get my number? And two, how do you take me off of this list? And all voting registration is I guess public information. So if you've ever written down your phone number as part of some political affiliation or or something, right, related to your like voter identity, it's public information. And then I was like, Well, how how do I get off this list? 'Cause I don't don't care. He goes, Well, we can get you off of our list. I was like, That would be very appreciated. So Thank you and have a good afternoon. Like I was very nice to the guy, but when I hung up I go, my god, Pat was right. I am a old man. for sure. No, I mean you would have if you're not super old, you're not senile ya cause if you were you would have kept him on the phone for fifteen, twenty minutes explaining completely different tangents. But I'm surprised he didn't try to barter with the guy, just like hey, I will vote for your candidate if you take me off this list. And all other lists. I know you have a magic button. Just tell me who to vote for and just never call me again. At this point I don't care, but you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back. You know? I was watching the the clip of Larry David when he was in line for voting and he was like, Hey man, who are you voting for? well I'm voting for the other guy. So our votes cancel each other out. So should we get out of here? I mean it makes sense on paper. It sure does. And then you get da time back in your day. Yep. Yeah. I I don't know. I just I had had it, the that text. I think it's also whoever sold my neck. They were they were just the first one that got in the way. I don't know what happened or who sold my information, but I've been getting so many spam calls. I mean, we're talking like a baker's dozen. Every day. So what's gonna happen when other people call or text you and you're on their list? Are you gonna keep this up every single time? Yeah. I've been I've been texting back to a lot of these numbers. Why? just delete it, report spam, move on with your life, Michael. But they need to know how I feel about all you're doing is giving them more data and and your energy. I know. There was one though. Somebody reached out. They're like, hey, I'm so and so from monster dot com. Do you have a chance to connect? And I said, You're a monster living on Earth? I never heard back from that one. But that's the kind of type of passive it's the passive aggressive bullshit that I've been doing to solicitors. I I'm just worried about the day somebody comes up to your front door. Right. They're gonna fall right through home alone style, you know? Kind of like in the book of Eli when they walk up and they fall in the trap. That's a it's a false door. I've only seen that movie once. All I know is it's pre apocalyptic or post apocalyptic. And it's They're trusting a blind guy to lead through all this stuff. Yeah, I know. So last person I would trust. What a twist. What a twist ending that was. Yeah. I did not see that coming. You know what I've been pleasantly surprised so so since our spooky season Movie list. I've been watching all the spooky movies and I forgot how good saw one in two R. Dude, I tried to watch it last night but I fell asleep. no. Shocker. I know. How far did you get? probably fifteen minutes. The last thing I remember is the guy throwing his tape across the room to the other guy played in the in the tape deck. sure, sure. That's very Yeah, yeah, probably fifteen minutes in, maybe. Yeah. Those great movies though. That those were kind of like the I would probably say first of their kind. I don't know. They're just a weird twist. It was yeah, I don't remember anything as I guess gruesome, but also psychologically twisting. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know? The only one that Mhm. Well I just feel like before that it was all kind of like the normal kind of stabby movies. Yeah, of like Your Screams, Texas Chainsaws, Michael My Halloween, and Child's Play, which is absolutely terrible. They all go knives. They're all knives. You don't really see a a serial killer using a like a a machine gun. Because it's too easy, Michael. It's way too easy. And also you give up your you give up your location. Guns can be quiet. Yeah. No, yeah, you as soon as you open up with like a you know, a sixty or something like that, the big old machine guns, the belt fed ones, Rambo style. Yeah yeah, ever everybody's gonna scatter. Exactly. Exactly. And what chance do you stand in? What kind of movie would it be if you gave Freddie or Michael Myers just just an automatic assault rifle? What if you give them one chance? One grenade. That's it. That'd be fine. That's all they give. No respawns. They can't pick up other things. They can't pick up other weapons. They get one. One grenade. That's it. I think that would change the dynamic of some of these spooky movies. Sorry, the I took I did take an allergy med before we jumped on because as you can probably hear and I and I think it's making me a little loopy. Yeah. Yeah. You got those those fall time allergies I know. They were doing great and all day I had like all the doors windows open. Right, 'cause it's my favorite time of year. I don't know if my wife likes it as much because I'd always have a window open, but I love the fresh fall breeze. Don't we all? Just spilling into the house, you know, wear some sweatshirts inside. That's the midwestern scent right there. It's a beautiful thing. I watched kind of a th I I think it's a throwback. I don't know if you would consider it a throwback, but one that's maybe a little underrated. As far as spooky movies go. Exorcism of Emily Rose. I have not seen that one in years. And I do but I do remember being quite freaked out by it and it being a pretty pretty darn good movie and a good good storyline. I I like it because it it is one that's like, is this actual demonic possession? Right? And that's how the whole movie's set up is like, is this actual demonic possession or is this like psychosis? Like I are are they just crazy? So it's got that little law side of it. How much of it is real? fift yeah I would say the the premise of it is real. So the exorcism of exorcism of Emily Rose is based on the exorcism of Annalise Michelle Mitchell, something like that. and she was German. and this was in the late sixties, early seventies. Yeah, says she was born fifty-two, she died seventy-six. So she had so like the the premise of the movie is set in more modern times. So, like what, probably early two thousands, about the time the movie came out, right? And it it does kind of state that it's all based on A true story, which it is because there was like the the priest did get in trouble for it. There was like psychosis diagnosis and stuff like that. But the real case in Germany was actually in like the late sixties, early seventies. Mm-hmm. And like the whole premise of the movie is correct where like, you know, she started having seizures and she claimed that they were demonic possessions and then like both doctors and priests got involved. She did? Yeah, her and her family got were getting doctors and priests involved. and they said that part of the psychosis that she had, and it and it and this is why why I think it's very interesting, because I also fell down a rabbit hole of other like exorcism style stories, is that like as a result of some of the seizures and some of the psychosis that she had some of the other symptoms can be like, you know, contortion, seeing or hearing things, right? Hearing voices, like it's all kinda tied together. Mm-hmm. You know, being a more like a mental health situation as opposed to demonic possession. Yeah. Now, she did have exorcisms. Six sixty seven of them. That's that's sixty spy too much. Right, exactly. But she also like is it this isn't chemo. You don't just do it every couple weeks. All right, well same time next week, huh? Is that how this works? You're gonna feel a little sick for a day, maybe two. Yeah, so she had sixty seven of Now in the movie she was possessed by six demons. it was like Cain, Nero, Legion, I think her actual demon was Bleal or Bial or something like that. Lucifer, and then there's like one other one I'm forgetting in there. So in the movie she's possessed by six demons. Now, supposedly in the real story, she was possessed by six demons. And some of those demons include Hitler and Edel Fleischman, which was interesting to me and 'cause I was kind of thinking about it like, man, Hitler sucks so bad that even in hell they they gave him a job, you know? No, no. not necessarily. I kinda go another rabbit hole with that. Mm-hmm. Cause Hitler was just into so much weird shit. Like he was trying to find He was clearly trying to stay a li he like Voldemort. He's the closest thing we have to Voldemort if even after I die I still want to be around. So I wouldn't be surprised if he was looking into some sort of I don't know, demonic thing where he could exactly. Yeah, I'm not saying that he did it did it or anything, but I could tell if he was looking for the Ark of the Covenant and Giants and doing shit in Antarctica. But the amount of meth that he had and the amount of time on his hands, who knows? Probably he was also looking f I don't know. Who knows what the man was up to? Yeah, I don't know. So yeah, he was at sorry, Fleischmann is a a disgraced priest and not Adolf Fleischmann. I think I'm getting him and Adolf Eichmann confused because Eichmann was the architect behind the final solution. Anyway, so it it did she was the real story, the Annalise girl did claim that she was possessed by six different demons. You know what this says? it's kind of weird. I don't know if this is weird or not, but I've never heard of this. It says here on the Wikipedia, so take it for what it's worth. But sh first she was buried in just like a normal coffin. And then two years later they her remains were replaced in a new oak coffin lined with tin. Huh. And it doesn't explain anything about that. But if Have you ever heard about garden lined with anything besides fluffy pillows? there there was a foot lever in the seventeen and eighteen hundreds that they would often put in caskets. Yeah, but this is because the foot lever would ring a bell on the surface 'cause they were so bad at they were so bad at diagnosing if somebody was actually dead that they're like, all right, well if they haven't wake up, at least they can ring the bell. maybe this hold on. no it's pretty common, I guess. Coffins are typically lined with metal sheets, most commonly zinc or lead rather than pure tin to create an airtight I can't say that word. Sealed environment. Huh. I can say sealed, the other word I can't say. Yeah, I I didn't I didn't hear anything about that. That's that's kind of interesting. but then where where the movie and the true story continue is that the priest was put on trial for it says here negligent homicide because like he forced I don't know if it's forced we'll get into this here in a second. But because the exorcisms and it was it actually like a mental health thing, right? The priests were the ones that went on trial because of her dying as a result of the exorcisms. It says so sixty seven exorcisms in nine to ten months. That's a fuck ton, dude. So let's say that's bad day. Yeah. I don't know, that's what would that be in math wise? He said it was sixty seven exorcisms in nine to ten months. So that'd be like Four a month? Once a week? Yeah. Yeah, once a week. She'd have another exorcism. I mean at one point do you think, hey guys, maybe this ain't working. You know? Like it that's that's gotta be kind of What does it consist of? What does an exorcism consist of? So this is the kind of the rabbit hole that I was falling down because like when this movie came out in what 2005, the scene where she's going through the exorcism in the the barn was one of like the very few scenes I would say that actually like scared me as I was watching it, right? Like this is fucking freaky, right? So I remember doing some research back in the day on it, but Recently after watching this one, I kind of started looking it up again, right? Like real exorcisms, because like going back just a little bit, they do have and I'm doing air quotes here. They have recordings of the exorcisms of of this Annalise girl's exorcism. And sixty-seven of Well, they have some of where and and I saw an interview with a priest that says that they do record most of the their exorcisms that they do. And she's like speaking differently as she would. And so it's you know, this is you know her speaking as Nero, her speaking as Hitler, her speaking as whoever the other demon is, right? Now I just I just don't know if that's real. I'm a little skeptical on that portion, you know. That's the part that makes you skeptical of this whole thing? Well, no, not the only thing, but I'm like, I don't know, that's just a you know, in this day and age, I mean you you can create anything on the internet now, right? And even when those videos came out, it's like who you know, some kids with a fucking microphone and too much free time recreated the events, you know, just for shock and awe. So I don't know if that part was real, but the the priest that I was watching, he was on like a Sean Ryan podcast. He did the valuetainment ones, right? He was saying that in order to get an exorcism done, the priest has to put in like a formal request to like the bishop or like a cardinal, right, in the Catholic Church, and they have to review the case. And then you get like permission to do an exorcism. So these things aren't like done willy-nilly, you know, like exorcism, you know. Like there's a triage process for it. And there's like a whole script that they have to do. There's like a certain book for exorcisms, there's certain regalia you have to wear, there's like, you know, different prayers and stuff that you have to do, and like you have to get the demon to like say their name. Right, to like help cast him out, right? So it's like this whole thing. So that's what you have to kinda go through to like even perform it. Like second and third century CE became recognized as a formalized practice, often performed as a spiritual gift or early baptismal preparations to renounce evil. Yeah. It was kind of like a thing that they did when they were babies, and that did started becoming like a crazy thing, I guess. A ritual in sixteen fourteen. Yeah. You know. And they made it like a formalization. Yeah. That's really weird. So it's like a so it's like a whole thing, you know. Now it's it's old, it's been around a while, right? So I think there's some This is even from like the ancient Egyptian times. Mm-hmm. yeah. I think as long as there's been humans, there's been some sort of like that guy ain't right in the head, and I don't know why. So it could be demons. But so like I started going down to this rabbit hole of like, you know, exorcisms and actual like demonic possession. I found one five hour YouTube video that explains like all of the demons in the lesser book of Solomon, right? Sure. And started like listening to that and like, you know, I my thing is is like when I listen to the the priests talk about the exorcisms that they've done, right? Outside of like entertainment value, right? Of just getting views and clicks and people, you know, watching for the same reasons why you go to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre, right? To be scared and have that entertainment. I I just don't know the like why would they lie like that much about it, you know? I d I don't know. I don't know, but It's tough to believe that all of them are real. I'm sure most I I don't know. Yeah, or conversely that all of them are fake. You know, like there's gotta be a little bit of a middle ground somewhere. I believe that they believe it's real. Yeah. I guess is the best way to put it. Right, 'cause there was there was even ones where they were talking about you know they're gonna up sixty seven times. I'm sorry, the data's not in your favor. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you were a if you were a baseball player, maybe he was just bad at exorcisms. I don't know. Do you have to go to school? How do you become certified in performing exorcism? From what I understand, like it's a specific field of priesthood. So like priesthood you have like general I guess priestly activities leading church, right, ceremonies. There's other ones that are specific towards like, you know, deathbed confessions, right? And working in hospitals. So they're really good about focusing on like that part of it, you know, so you can like pick a field, I guess, within it. and if if that's where your priestly duties are taking you, you do get like assigned a mentor. You get you get like Paired up with a dude who's summoning demons. I hope I'm not on my own. Come on, dude. Here's a bible. Here's a crucifix. Right. Yep. best best of luck to you. Call me if you have problems. Call me when you're done. They're they're probably making it up, but just in case this is what you might have to do. That's how they dropped off that that priest, and then after they come back. Why'd you let her die, man? Come on. Like a like a kid at soccer practice. Okay, good luck. Have fun. We gave you the crucifix. Have fun. Be safe. Be back in an hour. I told you to flip it towards her. Not you. God damn it. Can't leave any kids alone these days. That's why it wasn't working. Right. So yeah, the you and you have to like do training for it, right? And to like Do it. Now, some of the other stuff that like makes me kind of think like, yeah, I don't know if this is totally true, is like the levitation shit, right? Because like in the conjuring you see that. I think it's the conjuring. These are all movies, Mike. I want to see the like real evidence of that. Yeah, I'm using it as an example though, right? Like how during an exorcism you can see people like levitate, right? Or get lifted up by the demon or whatever, right? some of the priests that I was Listening to say that they did see that. And they're like, Yeah, these people would fucking lift up off the ground and they would have like weird shit happen to them and I can't really explain it. You know? And maybe I'm desensitized to it, but I'm kinda like Really? Yeah. Did that really happen? I just don't know. It doesn't seem hard. It seems like you just show a crucifix and splash holy water and Start reciting a bunch of biblical passages and the Lord's Prayer and a couple of Hail Marys. You just keep on doing that. You're tired. And then you have and then you tap out and then somebody else comes in, keeps doing it. Yeah. Yeah. So like I I don't know I don't know. I think but I think there is like because it's been around for so long, I think at this point, if exorcisms were fake They would have like owned up to it. You know, like the Salem witch trials. We know now that there was no witches, right? I think at some point someone would be like, Yeah, this is kinda all bullshit, you know? I don't know, Michael, 'cause maybe there's just them the thing that always s not scares me, but when things go back to origins and times before we actually really do know what happened. Like we have we think we know what happened in ancient Egypt and ancient Mesopotamia and things like that. But we d we really don't have any fucking clue. And so we've done the Library of Alexandria. Not even what we don't know. Not even that. Just just the the earth being the earth and, you know, circle of life taking taking things back over. Like when things go back past the time of like ancient writing and scholars, right. There there's probably something truth to it. Especially if it's also in every civilization. Like every civilization right has some sort of demons thing, you know, things like this, I guess. Yeah. No, no, you're you're and I'm I'm right there with ya, right? If it's also I've said this over and over again, you and I both use this analogy. It's just like the Marilyn Manson sucking his own dick thing. You you hear it enough and everyone hears it from from the Random sources, no one really knows, but everyone has to believe it's true. Right. It's because everyone heard it. Yeah. It it's gotta come from somewhere, you know? Like there's gotta be a nugget of truth in there somewhere. Even though I don't think Marilyn Manson sucked his own dick. I'm pretty sure. But anyway, but it's plausible. It's plausible. We all said sure. Right. That's why we weren't allowed to buy his albums as kids because that man sucks his own pee pee, like no buying that album. Dude, I ain't gay 'cause I listen to Marilyn Manson. You know, he sucked his own dick, right? I ain't gay. I ain't gay. No, that's fake, man. They made it up. It's all bullshit. Shut up, Daniel Flash is cool. Now, there was one teacher that I had in high school. He was a religion teacher, right? And he w he was a minister at one point or something like that. And in in Like one class period. This guy was kind of an oddball, you know. But he l just like let us ask him a bunch of questions one day. He was like, open for Whatever's on your mind about what you know about me, ask the questions, right? Or if you b about religion, ask questions. Yeah, I he was just again, he was kind of an odd guy. Like if he didn't go into if he didn't go into priesthood, he would have made a great art teacher, you know. That doesn't but he was Somebody asked him a question, have you ever seen a demon or have you ever seen an exorcism before? And he's like, No, I I have encountered people who were possessed. And he's like, and I saw somebody scale a wall. He was like, I was there trying to like help and provide guidance. It wasn't like an official exorcism, but the kid like freaked out when he saw my cross and he climbed up the side of the wall. Could been really good at parkour. He could and he could have been. You know, that's the that's the grain of salt that I take a lot of this with, right? But like again, outside of like the entertainment value of it, you know, I just I I don't know what what the reason would be to lie, you know, like to push people towards a certain religion, you know. Hey, if you got an exorcism, you know, come join our team. We'll help you out. That's the slogan right there. Catholic Church is rebranded. We'll get the demons out of you. We'll get the demons out of you. We got posters and t shirts. You know. But but, you know, I I think that there's enough weird shit, you know, that there is demons. You know. I th I I think d I as far as possession goes, I don't know, but I think demons are real. one of the lines from the movie that kinda always made me shudder a little bit is when the priest is reading Emily Rose's diary after, like on the stand. Yeah. She was he said something along the lines like some people don't believe in God, but how can they not believe in God if I show them the devil? Mm-hmm. And just like show if you believe in one, you gotta believe in the other. I guess I'm getting it. Yeah. You can't you can't really be one sided in it. You know. But with all like so so I think that's a good example of like maybe real life exorcisms, right? Now the movie The Exorcist is actually based on a real case also. Really? You know, the one with Linda Blair? No. yeah, the like the famous Exorcist movie. That was Ronald Dahl, I think is what I heard. Yeah. Yeah. He was identified as Ronald Edwin Hunkler. Hunkler. That's a tough last name. Yeah. Ro Roland? Ronald? Roland Doe. Either either way. Yeah. That's based off of real case, you know. And like even we talked about it last week with the Warrens, right? That Amneaville Horror One was supposed to be a demonic possession as well. So I don't know. I think there's Do you think that demons hang out like in the same place the whole time? Like they they're just like they can't leave the house or they can't leave a certain area, or do you think that some are are free to roam out as they please? Well There's two schools of thought this with this one. I think I think certain ones are assigned to areas, right? Like the Amneyville House, the Annabelle doll, right? Like that's all demons assigned to a thing, you know? but the the case for like the Emily Rose one is that she was more like open. Through her like mental illness that she did have, the result of that was being more susceptible to possession. So she was kind of like chosen as being like an easy target, you know? So I think you might have two schools of demons. Two demons. What one ones that are stuck to things, right? You get assigned to this creepy fucking doll. Got it, Chief. You know? And then the other ones are like Okay, we really want to go fuck some shit up. go go find somebody that's an easy target. Dude, speaking of of scary doll movies, there's two completely different ends of the spectrum. You have Annabelle, that's actually a pretty scary, you know, type of movie. We could agree with that, right? Yep. And then you have Chucky. And it's it's like the dumbest fucking thing you've ever seen. my god, I know. D both Chucky's. Why don't just you just punt that little fucker across the room? Anything drowned. Like you could Yeah, I don't yeah. Like the animal die like I would be embarrassed to die by Chucky. Right? Yeah. Say I got hit by a dragon. How did you die? How did you die? It's not important. Don't worry about it. Right. Heart attack. Yeah. They said they got twenty seven stab wounds. Nope. Heart attack. Never happened. Never happened. Stuck his hand at the garbage disposal, it was completely blown out of proportion. For media hype, you know. Yeah. But the real Annabelle doll is like one of those raggedy and dolls. Yeah. Yeah, it's not like the real creepy fucking one from the movie, you know. But I mean dolls kind of scare me in general. You got Chat E P T. Do I? You got Chad GPT. yeah. Yeah. Who would win between Chucky and Annabelle? let's see if I still have I hit my limit on Chad GPT requests here a second ago. Let's see. Probably probably Annabelle. Who would win between Chucky and Annabelle? Okay, Chucky wins. Depends on the rules of the fight. I got Annabelle wins eight out of ten times. Yeah. Your Chad GPT says something different than my Chad GPT. They don't know. Just like how they don't know the difference between a soup and a stew. The only thing that that Chucky wins, the only scenario is hand to hand or knife fight. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because you get like the the giant Fucking demon that's attached to it with the hooves, you know. Yeah. Like that shit's freaky, you know, like like the the demon in the the paranormal activity movies. That thing had hooves. If I saw hooves in my house, no way, pack my bags. I'm getting the fuck out of here, you know. Either we got a elk problem or poppy. We're getting out of here. Getting out of here. We're getting out of here. That's the first that's the first thing I said. So last week I went into work and the power went out, right? And I was saying to all my coworkers, every horror movie ever tells me to leave right now, you know? Like grab your to go back. We're getting out of Lynn, the power's out and I hear hooves. Come on. Back to God. I saw hooves. Yeah, the hooves and the the flower, that shit was scary in those fucking paranormal activity movies. I always thought those were dumb. I don't know, just the door closing. well open. It's fall. So I know, right? That's why I keep my doors just a little a little hung askew, you know, so they can't shut and slam like that. I purposely bend things so it doesn't happen. but that that shit would scare me. I mean anything clumping around at night, you know, like fuck that. You know, it's clomping, clomping around. You can hear it. You feel the vibration. Now would you scary one? Go on. Would you rather deal with a paranormal activity style situation or something like the strangers? Remember that movie? Of course. No, that one's super creepy. Yeah. Par like how bad of a paranormal activity are we talking here? about halfway through the movie. We have it we're we're just getting to the crescendo where everything's like, you know what? This place is probably fucking haunted, we should probably leave. But it's just a bunch of doors closing and everything. Yeah. Like it freaks you out, it wakes you up, it scares you a little bit, right? But you're not on full on like, demon mode, you know? You're you're just getting to the point. Or The Strangers, which for the uninitiated, it's another really great movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of Manson like, you know, where people are like fucking around. So I'm I'm torn because part of me wants to go with the paranormal activities spot because it's just a bunch of slamming doors and you're gonna be safe, you know. You're not g you have no threat of death. Right. but the stranger part of me thinks that might be a little fun. 'Cause you're just doing like a grown up version of home alone, Macaulay Kalkin style, kind of booby trap in the house. And just almost like a come you know, come get me type of thing. Right. Well, I had I was I was the guy yelling at the TV watching the strangers. 'Cause they could have got out of it if they played it right. I I know. They were going on the offensive the whole time, clearing room by room by room, right? And I was like and it wasn't until about halfway through the movie I was like, You need to take a defensive position. You know, pick one room. Let the guy back against the wall, put it in the corner, and I'll wait for someone to come in. Now he did do that in the movie. He did do that and blew his friend's hat off. Yeah. So you know, maybe a little trigger discipline. Yeah, he was a little trigger happy. Yeah. You know that's Dennis Reynolds? Yep. Yeah, I know. That one was a surprise to me. Yeah. But also it's kind of his fault. Like, hey, you know, like if I was picturing this, right? Say say you were in that situation and I was the friend that drove up, you know? Dennis Reynolds walked through the whole house, didn't say a fucking word. Didn't say, Hello, is anybody home? You know, like I was picturing myself going, Betches, where are you? Pick up, pick up, pick up. You know, like I would be loud walking through all this. Does Dennis Reynolds know that there's people hunting them? Or is he just walking through the house hoping to walk in on them? It well, the the movie sets it up that he walks in and then he sees all the broken glass, right? And then it looks like the signs of the struggle and the ship tipped over, you know. So but but still like I'm kind of picturing like if I walked into Pat's house seeing that, I'd be like, Pat, did you get in a fight with a raccoon again? You know, like I would be a little bit more vocal about walking through the house, you know. And the clear signs is of a struggle. Right. Or I don't know if I'm going through like Michael. Michael, where are you? Come on, come on wherever you are. Yeah. I brought you a cannoli. I don't think I'm doing that. I I think I'm I think I would call and text you and say, Hey, I'm here, where are you? I think I would go that route. Or I'd maybe call the cops. Hey, I'm at my buddy's house and I would you know what I would do? I would I would start knocking. I would start doing the knocks. 'Cause then eventually I feel like you would catch on and do like you would do a knock. Right. And then would do the knock back. And then you would do it. Yeah, like a like a secret knock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think yeah, but see that th that's that's what movies are though. They're kind of devoid of logic, you know, in that fashion. I think I would also start army crawling through the entire house. you absolutely would. You would go back to the car to like gear up Rambo stuff and then come back in. Hold on, babe, stay in the car. I gotta roll my sleeves up and get my binoculars and this big knife that I have 'cause it's full of and wrenches just waiting to chuck at anything I saw. Right. Bring my whole toolbox that I keep in my car. That's so funny. Yeah, you know what that reminds me of? I was watching something you'd get a kick out of this. naval warfare between pirates and the British Navy. I was watching a a little little clip on this the other day. That in Pirates of the Caribbean, you know when they shoot the cannon and the guy gets hit in the eye with the fork, you know, the guy with the fake eye, and then you know kind of moves around. They really did that shit. Pirates would They didn't have a whole lot of cannonballs. So they would actually load it up with like door hinges and forks and whatever they could find. And they would shoot it at the British. Yeah. But the British got wise and what they started doing is they would put their cannonballs in an oven to make them really red hot. And then they would shoot those at the pirates to burn the pirate ships. And then the pirates got wise and they started making like wiffle balls. But made of steel, and then they would load those with burning coals and shoot those back at the British. So then they would burn their ships. You're not gonna burn ours, I'm gonna burn your ship. I'm gonna burn yours first, motherfucker. You know? And I'm just picturing two pirates hanging out and there's no wind blowing and they're all getting cabin fever, you know? And they're like, what other kind of weird fucking cannonball could we make? I got an idea. Catching fish. We're gonna put a starfish in it, we're gonna shoot squids at Find as many of those spiky puffy fish as you can. Right. We just throw those fuckers out, they get stuck in their face like a bunch of birds. Wait till they get small. It fits better. Don't let it puff up, it'll get stuck in Not till they not till they shoot out of the candy. And then they puff up, then they get big. Dude, just chuck at puffer fish. It's gonna it's gonna ruin their t shirts. They're poisonous too, those puffer fish. They are. Yeah, they are poisonous. Or only poisonous to eat, right? Or if you get pricked by Yes. No, only poisonous to eat. and the puffing is really just a defense mechanism to be too big. Now dolphins, there there is a like a secretion that puffer fish will give off just to deter You know, animals from trying to eat right? but it's also an intoxicant. So what dolphins will do, and they've studied this and they've found that they'll do this, dolphins will fuck around with puffer fish until they blow up and secrete that intoxicant so that the dolphins are getting stoned. Fucking around with puffer fish. The more I learn about dolphins, the more I kind of don't like They're very smart. Yeah, they're very smart. Yeah, but you don't gotta be a dick just because you're really smart. True. You don't have to be a dickhead about it. And then the other one that I was watching was panda bears and people realizing that they are actual bears, you know, because pandas are so dopey all the time, you know. There was a video that I was watching of a lady getting mauled by a panda bear. like 'cause it got in between the panda and food or something like that, or the bamboo shoots or whatever. Uh-huh. And the panda went like crazy on the lady and was like dragging her around and like panda bear? Yeah panda. Yeah. Aren't they notoriously slow? Yeah. They're dumb. They're dumb animals. No, but it's also very slow, aren't they? Yeah. But but they're still bears. And this bear was reminding that lady exactly where he is in the hierarchy of the animal kingdom. It was it was an interesting watch. The lady's okay. She made it out. She didn't get full revenant grizzly bear style. Aren't you that lady that got fucked by that pants bear? So you still working there or like a way to go through life. Hell no. Hey, maybe the panda was was d possessed. That would be a pretty fucking scary thing to see. for sure. Yeah, I'd I what animals are I don't know, besides like bats with with vampires, is there any and I guess cats with with witch? Witches. I guess wolves and and wolf bits. Why do cats why do witches like cats so much? I don't know. I do witches fly on brooms Let's see here. Black cats became associated with witches because of medieval religious persecution, folklore about animal familiars, and the cat's nocturnal, independent nature. So one guy saw a black cat, I was like that's a fucking witch. No, in twelve thirty three Pope Gregory the Ninth issued a papal document that leaked black cats directly to Satan. Can you imagine just one day nope black cats, they're the devil. Get out of here. Tell me you're a dog person without telling me you're a dog person. I outlawed cats. Fucking hate cats, so yeah, they're part of Satan. Cats me you're a dog lover, though tells me you're a dog lover. Could you be could you imagine like being that guy's secretary? You know? Hey, no more cats, they're part of Satan. Okay, all right. Why did he hate cats? Like I guess I'm gonna have to get rid of my litter box. Son of a bitch. Why did he hate cats? I don't know. He declared a war on cat. Which supposedly caused the rat expansion and the black plague. here we go. All right, so we got Pope Gregory the Ninth to blame for all that. Yeah, well, I know the I'm gonna get shit for saying it. The the Black Plague? Plague Plague, there you go. Plague. Plague. Plague we Yeah, use that midwestern name. Monosa stuff, dammit. was was about rats. They were the ones that were carrying it around. Which makes sense about the cats because the cats will eat rats. Yeah. So because they got rid of all the cats, all the rats had were taken over and BAM plague. And then you and then you gotta get the mongoose involved. Right? No. Cat you gotta get the snakes, you gotta bring in the snakes to eat the rats, and then you gotta get the the mongoose to eat the snakes. It's a terrible idea. It's a s it's a snowball effect. You'll be you'll be up to your eyeballs in mongoose balls. Yeah it says here George the Ninth the cat killing Pope Cat Killing Pope who laid down the law. They're they're calling you the cat killing pope. Really? That's my fucking nickname. The cat killing pope. God damn it. I just don't like I just don't like them. They rub up on me all the time. They're always meowing. Getting smessing. As he's petting his dog. Isn't that right, Woofy? You d you don't you don't like cats either, do you boy? Don't worry, those cats aren't gonna bother you anymore. That's why because the cats just kept fucking with his dog at the window and running away. So he decided to kill him. I'm gonna call him Satan. That's what I'm gonna do. Those cats are part of the devil, just messing with my dog. boy. And these are the pickles. And these are the same people that have to give the write off on doing an exorcism. People who hate cats. Maybe that's also why they're like, that lady's gotta be crazy. Look how many cats she has. We gotta give her an exorcism. Crazy cat lady. Crazy cat lady needs an exorcism. That sounds like the n that sounds like an album cover of a punk rock band. The crazy cat lady needs an exorcism. That's that's funny. Now they they rode blue Brooms. My one of my favorite Looney Tunes jokes like cartoons is about the witch that Bugs Bunny runs into because her broom breaks, so she rides a vacuum cleaner. And that shit is just hilarious to me. They do they also do that, don't they? They ride vacuum cleaners. It's been done. I think the Simpsons do it too. Yeah. You sure somebody rides a Roomba? Yeah, the first place I saw it was the Looney Tunes. Yeah, they did it first. Mm-hmm. Begging fertility ritual, domestic symbolism and rebellion. I don't know. The people will attach shit to everything. I just think it's crazy that the Pope hates cats. It's weird to say cats. Did the did the tenth, did Pope Gregory the Tenth like undo that? Hey cats are cool again. Well, actually they probably did. Did they bring back cats after the plague? Maybe. I don't know. Okay, so the last plague victim died, so cat cats are good again. You bring back cats. The idea of medieval Europeans wiping out cats then bringing them back after the Black Death is a is a mess, but it sounds too funny to to not say it's true. You're right. It it's gotta be true. Now have you ever heard of the dancing plague? Sounds exhausting. It was this was like up there with like the Salem Witch stuff, right? It was a total hoax. Totally fabricated. Dancing Mania was in fifteen eighteen in the Holy Roman Empire. They said that fifty to four hundred people danced continuously for weeks and died of exhaustion. That's and they said i w it was. It was absolutely made up. It was mass psychogenic illness. So like one person started dancing and they said that they couldn't stop and that they were like possess or like they were sick or something like that. And then all the other people started doing it too. It's like the placebo effect. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So so everybody started doing this dance, right? And then they were dying. They're like, huh. Our medicine dancing after watching people die. Yeah. Yeah, and they and then a bunch of people ended up doing it. And then and then they're like, yeah, it was all made up. The person who started this actually admitted to to making it up. I take it back. I'd rather be killed by the Chucky doll than saying that he died of a dancing plague rather than I think about it. He got all you got all wrapped up in the in the dancing. He was middle of the Macarena and just killed over. Bam. You heard that one one too many hey macarinas died right there on the cobblestone. Yeah. Maybe the slide was his electric death. boy. Silly. Yeah. Well, it makes me feel less bad about getting like wrapped up into a like a like a Facebook hoax, right? Or something that you see on the internet. People have been doing it since the fifteen hundreds, you know? We're not any different. We have not progressed. I'd like to hope I I wouldn't fall for a a big hoax like that. Of course I've been tricked before in my life and will continue to get tricked in my life. Yep. With small small thing. I just couldn't imagine that I just get in a big scam or you joining a cult or I don't know. Right. Ship giving half of my money to some some young prince in in Kenya. There was a was it a far side? It was some comic that I saw where it was a prince talking to the king and he's like, Dad, these guys aren't answering my emails. I don't know what to tell ya. They're not they're not responding. We're gonna lose all of our money. boy. Should we should we start the Midwest goodbye? It's getting to be that time, Michael. It's gonna be that time. We got the time change coming up. What are you gonna do with your extra hour? We lose a hour. Do we get extra or do we lose it? I always forget. Yeah. I don't I don't know. I don't know what I would do with my extra hour. Maybe enjoy walking the dog when the sun's out? Perhaps. It's the only time I'm up early enough. Maybe go fishing? Is that where earlier? Yeah, 'cause when you fall back. So yeah, you get an extra hour in the morning, right? Yeah. Yep. So sleep. Sleep is your answer. I think so. Yeah. I I would probably sleep. I heard somewhere that daylight savings was was actually as a result of like oil companies or like a gas company. Farming. Well that's what that's what they always said it was. But it was something about pumping gas and oil have to do with the sun. I'll have to I'm gonna have to find it and I'll send it to you. but I remember watching something about how daylight savings was implemented so oil and gas companies don't have to shell out as much electricity keeping the lights on. Something like that. I'm gonna find out, hold on. Yeah. US implemented year round daylight savings time in january nineteen seventy four via the Emergency Daylight Savings Time Energy Conserv a Conservation Act to conserve oil and reduce electricity demand in the nineteen seventy three Arab oil embargo. Nixon and Congress hoped shifting an hour of daylight in the evening would cut electricity and save roughly hundred fifty thousand barrels of oil per day. Damn it. But wasn't it before then? I know in some farming commun I mean, because you are right, you are on the right track that that part of it is due to farming, so like in the farming communities, kids would be able to help out with the harvest for longer periods of time before having to go to school. It says that it first started in nineteen eighteen. But was regulated or repealed, I'm sorry. was repealed in nineteen nineteen, so I said no fuck that. It was terrible. One year? They did it twice and said, Fuck this. Yeah, we did it for all year and said, Fuck that. That was dumb. That is the best thing that I've ever heard. They did it once in the fall, once in the spring, said no more. Nope, never again. And then they brought it back in World War Two after that whole generation died, so they couldn't ever say. So brought it back known as wartime, was reintroduced nationwide to conserve resources. and then night after the war the federal government left it up to local town states, creating a bunch of confusion because not everyone was on the same page. especially like buses going across multiple states and time zones. So confusing an hour late this morning. Yeah, confusing everybody. And then it says Uniform Time Act of nineteen sixty six, signed into law standardized the state start and end dates of across the country for states that chose to observe it. So sixty six they had a choice too. Yeah, seventy-four just I said, Nope. We're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it live. Never look back. We we did a pilot. Like we've done three sixty years ago. It didn't work. But I think this time if we just tell we're doing it, you know, then all year. They're just like, fuck it. This is tough as hell. I hate waking up early. The only time I've ever heard of the government actually being efficient. They tried something, did it twice, it didn't work, and they said fuck that. Well, because it was in nineteen eighteen and it was after World War Two when it was the military compact. Light lights were coming on, giving everybody shell shock. fuck. Why are my lights on? I love how they're just like, Fuck it, you guys decide for yourselves. Let the states decide. Yeah, it what it's it's Arizona is the like w one of the few Arizona, Hawaii parts of the pay and handle. I think there's probably some spots like Indiana, Michigan. Yeah. Arizona opted out of the daylight savings time in nineteen sixty eight. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold your horses. I can't speak for the other forty-nine of you, but we sure shit ain't doing it. Can you imagine if that was a house bull household by household? We don't celebrate that shit in this household, you hear? I like dinner's not for another forty-five minutes. Where do you think I'm gonna get all the extra time to cook these potatoes, huh? I like to picture it as as more of like a malicious compliance type of thing. Like one guy was just dead set on not having to wake up early or fuck with his clocks, right? So he did all the canvassing by himself. You know? Hey, I'm Joe Smith, your neighbor. I fucking hate clocks. Sign my petition to say no to this thing. Can you imagine the first daylight savings time? Like when you walk outside. Hold on, it's it's eleven eighteen? I gotta change I have to change all my clocks. When do we decide on this? Do you know how long that's gonna take? Do you know how many fucking clocks I have that I have to wind again? We just decided on a new time. Nobody asked me about this. Hold on, we gotta change them back again in November. This is I I hate this real hot and cold. Are we doing it or we not? We we just fall back, we spring forward, which one was it? What time do we have to change them back though? What time are we doing this at? Well that's where shit gets real funny 'cause it's three AM that that we have to do the change. I never understood that. Because most of the time people are asleep. So it shouldn't fuck with you that bad. Yeah, but I would think that if we're gonna change something it should be at midnight and then you should go back to eleven. Or go forward to one. You know? Nope, we gotta wait for three. Why three? You know, I just never understood that part. Yeah. Almost all Did they say? What? Why why is three AM? no, I'm sorry. I tr I tried to see who else in the world does it. It's mainly it's mainly us, like all of North America, almost all of Europe and some parts in South America. And a little bit of Africa. Tiny tiny fraction of Africa. okay. Daylight savings time traditionally changes at two AM and in some eastern or in some European or regional schedules three AM because these hours cause the least disrup disruption to public activity, transit and infrastructure. Yeah. Okay. That makes I mean that's that's good enough for me. Russia said no. Russia says no we we maintain time here. Time and Mother Russia's always perfect. Yes, time and mother Russia does not change. It's always drinking time or working time. No in between. There's never there's never sun here in four months anyway. It doesn't matter. Do not matter. There's no sun performance. Now what do people in Alaska do when it's like, you know, the twenty four hour days, you know, where the sun doesn't go down? Did you this is probably the best time zone I've ever heard. Which one? What is it? China Standard Time. China does not observe daylight signing daylight savings either. They just stay on China Standard Time. China standard time. It's all the same time. Everywhere, no matter where. Perfect time in China. so if you're flying from Alaska still has Still as daylight saving. Change clocks with twenty four hour sunlight. Yeah, same, same same. Yes, Alaska still changes its clocks for daylight savings despite experiencing nearly twenty four hours of sunlight during the summer months. Well, I guess it's if it's light for twenty four hours for multiple days, it doesn't fucking matter what time it is. It's vacation time, you know? Time doesn't exist when you're on vacation. That's gotta be so tough, like just constant sun or constant darkness. Right. I was watching some some videos today of people building cabins in Alaska. Right. There's that's like the new van living thing. Hey, we bought a parcel of land in Alaska. Now we're gonna make a YouTube series about us building a cabin on it, right? Mm-hmm. And some of the videos are really funny because they're like, it it looks like it's noon outside. They're like, all right, well, we're gonna call it for the day. It's about eleven PM at night, so it's time to hit the hammock. It looks like it's noon. You guys are making this up. Don't make sense. It would be kind of fun to build a cabin though. I mean, sure. I think I might might like the idea of it better because the mosquitoes in Alaska are terrible. I think it all sounds fun until you actually start grabbing all the logs and you just go, fuck this. Right? Let's be honest. Just like the rest of the daylight savetimes. You know what? Fuck this. Fuck this. Why do we decide on this? Right. Who whose bread idea was this? Can we did they cash the check yet? Can we undo? I don't know. Just the next the next meeting. We can all agree that that was a dumb idea, right? I'm so tired. I'm so tired. Half of us relate to this meeting because of the daylight savings. Point proven. All those opposed? Motion passed. Fuck this. Well I'm gonna go make sure my clocks are up to speed for for the daylight savings coming up. I'm gonna go see if Alexa remembers to change clocks or if I have to tell her to do it. All right. Thank you for listening to another episode of the Common Professionals Podcast. All music, content, and media used in this production are original creations and are owned by the Common Professionals.