Welcome to episode 128, Toddlers Tantrum and Turn Taking.
Today we're tackling one of the trickiest balancing acts in the
hobby, bringing your young kids those wild, wonderful player
threes to board game conventions.
You know, for parents, it could feel like a strategic puzzle
more complex than a day of Twilight Imperium.
Do you split your time chasing that open seat at the hot new
game demo or chasing your toddlers?
Between snack runs, meltdowns, and missed meetups with friends,
many moms and dads find themselves torn between
parenting and play. In this episode, we're going to
dive into the challenges, the compromises, and the creative
solutions that parents face as they try to share their love of
gaming without losing their minds or their badges from
juggling demo tables and diaper changes.
We're going to unpack the challenges.
We're going to share the heartfelt, hilarious, and
helpful stories of balance for the passion of gaming with the
needs of their children. Whether you're a seasoned con
goer or this is going to be your first trip to a convention this
summer, this episode is for you. In order to help me talk about
this, I have invited Susie from Games with Beanie to talk about
this very thing. Susie, how are you?
I'm. Fine, I am currently melting in
the English heat, yes, which is bringing on a lot more tantrums
for toddlers. Oh, no, Yep, Yep.
So I, I want to thank you for joining me for this
conversation. I think it's one that's worth
really talking about and trying to articulate in more detail.
I see families particularly. I just got back from Origins.
I know you just got back from UKG a few weeks before that.
I saw a lot of families at Origins.
I saw lots of different kids in various states of emotion.
I guess that's a a polite way to put that.
Let me start with this question for you.
I believe a lot of people would ask this.
A lot of people outside of our hobby would certainly ask this
question. Maybe even people without kids
would be like, why would you bring your kids to a board game
convention knowing that you're going to have to deal with all
this? Question because there are kids
and we love them and we want to spend time with them and we want
them to be involved in our hobby.
I can't speak for every family, right For us, we, I don't know.
Do you have the phrase it takes a village?
Yes. So we have this thing here that
a lot of us, we don't live quite close to our parents.
So we don't have, we don't have the village that helps us raise
those children. So sometimes we have absolutely
no choice but to take our kids on these things.
And so sometimes it's just it's, it's a big compromise.
We have to take them, therefore we take them.
And other times it's because we want to take them.
I mean, the UKG, we wanted to take the kids, we really wanted
them. And Beanie was so excited from
last year. He had loads of fun last year
and he was so excited to go this year.
He kept asking, is it time for UKG?
Is it time for UKG? Can we go?
Yeah, We took them to Alton Towers beforehand and he spent
the entire time at Alton Towers going.
We're going to UKG, Yes. So it's a balancing act on that
one is either sometimes it's because you have to take them,
oh, you don't go at all, and sometimes because you want to
take them. I know plenty of people that
went for the full weekend of UKG and they would go maybe days one
and two by themselves and then on the third day bring their
kids. Sometimes they just did one day
with the kids someday. Some like, well, I doesn't have
the kids the entire time. I saw some fantastic mums that
were wearing their babies the entire time round and that was
brilliant. And obviously this year we had
two walking children. Last year we had one in a
pushchair. This year they were both
walking. So that presented its own
challenges and that one. And I even tried to do meetings
this year, which was a whole other thing.
I would not necessarily recommend doing that when you've
got kids in tow. I think next year I will
definitely stick with press night will be for me and the
rest of it will be for family. But it I wouldn't know that
unless I tried that this time. Exactly.
So how about this question?
I'm sure a lot of parents think about this.
What? So at what age?
What age do you decide, OK, we're going to bring them to the
convention, right? Because then I know there seems
to be like when they're toddlers or younger, you could just
swaddle them on your chest like you said and just go.
But then there's like a certain age like I don't know if y'all
have this saying here, but we have that we have is like the
terrible twos when the kids are OK.
DJ is DJ is 2 and he will tell you how he is exercising the
terrible twos in a way that I have never experienced before.
I used to think that Beanie was my difficult child.
I have been proven wrong. Oh.
OK. But we are definitely in the
terrible twos. So.
So how old was Beanie when you decided to bring him with you to
UKG for the first time? Which I.
Remember this other day, I want to say he would have been about
four going on five for his first UKG.
So he's. Walking at this point, right?
He'd actually been to the NEC prior to that for a metropolis
convention, but and that was like that was geared at kids.
That was full on everything. Everything there was geared
towards kids. So that doesn't, I mean, it
counts as convention, but it wasn't UKG where UKG obviously
they say they're geared toward family and they do try.
They you can, they have a lot of stuff there for kids, but
they've got the treasure hunt, they've got kids stands, they've
got big size, life-size, interactive exhibits and stuff
like that. There is.
And obviously they've got the family zone, the areas they are
geared towards a family. It's just finding that it's all
the shopping. But you know, I think Beanie was
about four or five when we first took him.
And obviously DJ would have been so he didn't go the first year
he was born. He would have been 11 going on
two for his first convention. So but if I if DJ was my only
kid, he wouldn't have gone for me.
I don't think I would have necessarily taken him at that
age. But because obviously we had
Beanie and because we were already established going, we.
Went right. So.
You you mentioned last year you had Beanie.
Beanie was walking, but DJ was still in a yeah stroller, right?
So what was, what was that like? What, what was it like to have a
child in a stroller that you're pushing around in the
convention? And were people respectful or at
least mindful of you and your child?
I would say yes, people were definitely, no one got, no one
was miffed. You feel like getting miffed.
No one got annoyed at us for the pushchair being there or
anything that everyone was very respectful that.
But last year, if you've heard a lot talk about UKU for this one,
last year the convention aisles were really, really tiny and a
lot of people struggled with that.
There were wheelchair users that struggled with it as well.
It was not, you seem to walk around this year.
If we'd have had the stroller this year, it would have been,
we could have swung it around in a loop.
Wow. Piles were much, much wider this
year. So any, any parents that because
you also see parents with like wheelbarrows, like the, the
garden truck carts that you put finger wagons, wagons, yes, you
see them in the wagons and stuff like that.
Everyone's got a creative solution to it.
But yeah, it was, I mean, I found last year when it was when
it was tight, you kind of used that straw as a weapon, right?
You're like, this is how I get through things.
I mean, we did have at one point last year that DJ decided he'd
had enough of being in the straw.
He did not want to be in that anymore.
He wanted to be out and about moving.
So we had the the baby reins on him, which was we had it dragon
themed as well to match the UKG aesthetic.
But but Beanie got fed up. He's like, I know we're walking
one of that. I was like, do you know what?
You're under the weight limit, you can get in the pushchair.
And no one batted an eyelid at that either.
No, everyone was like, yeah, I'd do it too if I could so.
Does does the NEC have? Are there restrictions on on
carts, wagons, sizes and things of that Gen.
Con does? Gen.
Con has restriction on what you can and cannot pull.
Like you get people who have luggage, wheeled luggage, they
can't drag that with them. You can't bring wagons, but you
can bring a legitimate stroller design for a child like that is
acceptable. But they've limited that because
in the past people have taken advantage.
And I was wondering at the NEC. I did not see any.
Restrictions on it, but also we didn't look for them because we
didn't need them. I do know other than people that
took younger children that looked for, I mean, I don't know
it was well how gay origin is to the facilities.
There was a couple of moms I spoke to that also they needed
to be able to breastfeed in private, want to breastfeed in
private as well, because it's and they said there was nowhere
for them to do that. That wasn't a facility that was
capable for them. There are changing rooms,
obviously, but the toilets at any convention, it's, it's a
toilet convention, especially you're a woman, you know how
long a woman's queue is at any event.
But yeah, the, the facilities are there.
They're just for that, for being able to have children there.
And I don't think there's any restrictions on it.
There's no restrictions on the age of bringing a child as well.
Obviously there's a restricting the age of a child ticket for
our kids. I believe it's up to age 11.
We don't pay for them to go to these conventions.
So that's quite helpful. You haven't paid for money.
That's, that's seriously helpful, right?
It is it it, it does help getting kids into a hobby like
that because obviously you're not spending fortune on a ticket
for them for them to turn around and go, I'm bored.
I don't like this. You don't have to necessarily
pay for them to go as a godsend. And then obviously when they're
a bit older, it's a choice then, isn't it?
So it's nice. And then obviously with your
kids where you get the nice little kids tickets that's
designed by the kids as well-being he had a go at it
this year, but obviously he wasn't his ticket wasn't chosen.
But no, it's, it's nice. It's another little collector's
item for them, so. So what is?
What's the one most valuable piece of advice that you've
learned that you find yourself sharing with other parents who
are either going to going to a convention or thinking about it
with their kids? I think that advice changes
every year because it really as your child grows.
The thing, the ultimate advice you give to any parent, I think
you give to any parent for any situation you put them in is
nobody knows your child better than you.
You know their limits or you have a gruff gauge of their
limits. You know what you can all
handle. You know what they're into and
you just have to take it one step at a time.
Especially like there's a lot of kids, there's a lot of people in
this hobby who obviously are neurodivergent.
It is. And that obviously comes with
its own things. We have a potential that one of
our kids may have ADHD, We're not sure.
We haven't gone down that route yet.
But that brings its own challenges to it as well because
you have to think about overstimulation.
So it's just it's know your child, know their limits and
prepare for that. Like we took air Defenders with
us in case it got too loud. We never needed them, but we
took them with us. We had multiple snacks and
bottles of water because we know that the little one will say
he's hungry every two seconds. This is one word that he knows
he goes hungry hungry. So we know that it's just it's
prepping for you and your kids and knowing what you walk and
also knowing you as a parent, what your limits are, where at
what point you're willing to turn and go.
Nope, fine, we're going back to the hotel.
Let's step out the hall because ultimately you want sometimes we
push through because we're like, oh, we just can we just do this
one more thing, one more thing, one more thing.
And you know, you're, you're burning your kids energy.
They're going to be on the floor dragged along by their ankles
because they don't want to do it anymore.
And they will be louder and stronger than you on that one.
And obviously as a parent, you don't want to be that parent
that blows up in front of everyone.
So you have to get down on your level and be like, come on,
let's go grit your teeth. And it's ultimately my biggest
advice. Yes, like I said, parents is you
know your kid and work with what you know on that one and accept
the fact that you are not going to see everything.
That's a big thing for us. We we look back at the UKG
footage and we know there is so much that we did not see.
There is a lot that we missed and we have every even if we
didn't have the kids. I went for a whole weekend once
without Brad, all the kids, and I missed so much as well because
there's just such a big event and you're never going to see
all of it. So you mentioned about this year
you scheduled meetings, right? So I'm assuming you went to UKGE
not just as yourself part of a family, but as a content creator
trying to do things, right? So yes, as an influencer.
So what would you say? Because I know a lot of my
listeners are content creators. Most of them were with us at
Origins, did not bring their kids, but they've been to
conventions. They brought kids.
What What was the biggest thing you learned about going to a
gaming convention, bringing your kids with you and trying to
schedule meetings as a content creator.
That is not for me. I worked that one out this year
that it's not for me to do. Me doing meetings and trying to
do that isn't that's not something that more as a content
creator realise that is not something that I'm necessarily
interested in. I do enjoy meeting people and
stuff like that, but I think I had a meeting with a developer
that basically they just wanted to show me where everything of
theirs was in the hall and I could to some degree, I could
have done that myself. So what I found for me is that I
personally enjoyed, I liked doing press night where all the
people that wanted to promote their games were in a dedicated
space and I could just go up and down the aisles and I could talk
to them. And because I did that this year
without the kids and without Brad, I could focus on it.
I could put give my attention to it.
So Brad took the kids back to the hotel, got the little one to
sleep and they just relaxed and they enjoyed a peaceful evening
while I went and worked. Last year Beanie did first night
with me. I'm like, actually, I do wish
he'd done it with me this year as well.
I don't think have enjoyed it as much this year.
I don't know why survived for it, but I enjoyed doing it with
him the previous year because obviously it was fun to see the
kind of questions he'd asked, the kind of enthusiasm he had
for games. But because we've done Alton
Towers previously this year, he was too tired when we got there
and I was like, yeah, it's fine. You go back to the room and I'll
I'll do press night by myself. It works.
But ultimately I think I would like to do it with him again at
some point. But I think if we do it next
year, I would probably just do, I would focus on all my content
creation parts being press night in terms of getting information
on games and then the actual convention.
I would just enjoy it as a family.
Because whenever I apply for my press pass for UKG, I always,
every year, I say I'm promote it.
I promote it as a family event. That's what they want it to be.
They want it to be a family event.
I go and I showcase the bits that I can do with my family of
what my kids enjoy, of how what there is for the kids to do
that. And even like I said, even
though I miss half it, like we didn't get to go in the family
zone this year because when we got there on the first day, it
was just jam packed. And then the second day,
unfortunately my kids are just, they'd, they'd had enough
already that it was such a busy thing.
They, they'd had enough. So we did a quick in and out the
halls on Saturday and called it, who said that we'd already done
like Thursday nights, Friday day and Saturday, so we'd we'd have
got enough of the convention out of it.
But we knew of our kids, and we knew of us as well, that we'd
all reached our limit. So.
Right, Yeah, I so I think I've, I've heard you talk about this.
I've I've actually, it's interesting.
I've heard, I've heard other friends that you and I have in
common talk about how you and Brad tackle this together.
Y'all do something very creative that I think some of our content
creator and just gaming friends in the United States could take
a a lesson from you and Brad. Like kind of you split up your
parental duties at a convention, right?
So that you could go and play games or do whatever late in the
evening and Brad's got the kids and then the next night y'all
switch off. You'll do that, right?
That yeah, that is brilliant. So I know this is a stupid
question or it's going to sound like one, but how did you come
about that? Like, how does how does that
work? Because both of you are content
creators in your own independent rights.
Independent ways? Yes, we have our own.
So you're trying to manage that like, yeah, tell me more so.
Ultimately, when we come down to prime for the the press pass,
that is me. I'm the press pass.
He's my, he's the plus one on it, but he's a + 1 as my shelf
life. OK, so when it comes to doing
the press night, that automatically becomes my night.
That's he allocate that, that's me.
I do that. That's the agreement on there.
So he has that night with the kids after press night, a lot of
people will sit down and game anyway.
So I use that as my night to game with people, chat to people
because and mostly it's a big conversation at that point and
I'm quite happy just to sit and chat and look at other people
playing games and see what everyone's come up with.
And then the next night it's Brad's turn, so he's lucky.
So he just gets to go and actually just game.
He doesn't have to do any press or anything like that.
He just gets to go find a hall, find some people and sit down
and game. So he might stay out for a bit
longer as well. Also, he's more used to staying
up later than I am. I I very much do prefer to be in
bed asleep. So sure, absolutely.
But yeah, it just came about for the fact that we tried, I think
we tried it the first year to all stay there in the hall and
we realized that it just didn't work.
But the little 1, he was never going to stay up late for it.
And, and even if he did, one of us would have to be stood there
pushing him in the a stroller the first year.
And it just, it didn't work for us because also as a parent,
you're tired, you know, you're tired from the kids and stuff.
So we, we found it easier to balance it out that way.
Some nights. Well, Beanie, because he's older
now, we'll stay up and he'll sit with the other kids that stayed
with their parents. And sometimes they play games,
sometimes they just play on the Switches, sometimes they just
run around the tables. But yeah, no, it Brad and I
found the divide and conquer technique really does work for
us. Sometimes it backfires on us
because especially if the kids are in a particular parental
mood where they're like I just want mommy or I just want.
Daddy. Backfire, like it'll be, oh,
you'll stay up late tonight with daddy and he's like, no, I want
to stay in the hotel room with you, Mommy, right?
But yeah, but it does work out for us and it's nice to have
that individual time. It's the only thing that sucks
is that we would like to be able to game together.
That's the only thing that we do get to miss out is because.
And that that's unfortunate, but sometimes it's nice because
obviously he'll learn a new game and go, oh, you want to try this
one and I'll learn a new game for this one.
And even if we were in the same hole as each of them, we might
not necessarily want to play the same game anyway.
So retry. That's interesting.
So you guys tried doing it as a whole family and then we're
like, OK, we're going to have to break this apart.
But let's think in a couple of years that might change.
Beanie might not want a game anymore because I've noticed
some of some of the fat memories that we've gotten some of as the
kids have got older, they they lose interest for a bit while
they get other interests. And then I've noticed they do
come back as they get older. We might find that DJ absolutely
hates board games at the moment. He seems to really love them and
want to play them. He can't.
He wants to. But yeah, we might find that
they just. They might not want to do it at
all, or we might find that they really love it and things will
change. But at the moment it's, yeah,
it's a divide and conquer situation.
Yeah, what? So what, what if you had you,
you've got some gaming friends and they've got a newborn and
they used, they regularly go to UKG and they're thinking about
not going because this happens a lot here in the US we see this a
lot. Parents just kind of they go off
the grid for over 3 or 4 years until their kids are at a
certain age. I mean, do you, do you say, do
you have advice for them? Like, no, you could still go and
do or or. I mean, how do you, how would
you say, what would you say to that?
Of course they still go, but it ultimately comes down to what
you're comfortable with. For us, we were with DJ, we were
second time parents. So we we got into board gaming
when Beanie was a baby as a way to do something when the baby
was asleep because we couldn't go out.
So that's our board gaming life grew up alongside him.
But for DJ, he's just been thrown in the deep end with it.
So it's basically, and I was, I was really scared when we found
out we were pregnant with him. I was terrified that we were
going to lose this lovely community that we'd become part
of. I was like, oh, we're never
going to see any of them again. We're going to fall off the face
of the earth. We'll never the board games are
never going to happen. That didn't we were very, very
fortunate that that was not the case.
The board game collection got bigger.
The friends that we've became more numerous.
We've we found better friends through it as well.
And yeah, everyone, everyone for us has been really, really
accommodating because I mean, we had our friend, one of our
friend meetups last year. We, we went to do that in the
summer holidays and I had a full on meltdown.
I couldn't handle it. It was the height of the summer
holidays for us. The kids had driven me to the
last straw and I ended up going, no, I've call it quits.
I've got to go. But a month later I went to
another one. But I'd already said to people,
I don't know if I can handle this, but they a bunch of the
women there messaged me and said, look, do what you can.
We want to see you even if you only get to play one game with
us and have to spend the entire time off that walking around the
baby. And then they were really,
really helpful and we ended up DJ had a great time with that.
We had to put a sign on him saying please stop feeding me
watermelon because he literally would go up to everyone's smile
and get things. He he sits at tables when people
are playing scythe and stuff like that.
But you are there are going to be times where you can't do it.
That's the thing. And there's no two ways about
it. There are times where you just
can't do it. Either you don't have someone to
take care of as a kid or they're I'll or something like that.
It doesn't mean that you have to stop the hobby.
It just means that I suppose like any good, like there's like
D&D groups, their scheduling never reliance does it as
they're famous for and that's parenting and gaming is
sometimes it's not going to work out.
Sometimes you are going to have to cancel events and change your
mind and not go. It's just but us, I think.
I don't think it means that you have to erase the hobby from
your life. It just means you have to
rearing, for instance, Brad night we our top, I mean, if you
if you're on YouTube and you can see it, our top shelves are
mostly small box games and they are allowed to play games.
Now the ones down below are the heavier games.
We don't play those as much because we're we just don't have
time, but We Found Love with small box games and that's me.
We don't go to as many conventions as I'd like.
I'd like to go to I'd love to try air con.
I'd love to try Handycard, even Zassi Con, but we don't do those
yet. But we we're going to try
another one this year. Actually, we're going to Norfolk
Gaming Convention. It's just a day event.
Oh, that's exciting. The advantage to that is that my
mother-in-law lives down the road from it, so.
Yeah. Beforehand we might, we may even
ditch the kids with her if we can, but we're trying something
new with the kids on that one. So right, yeah, I don't give up
a hobby. So aside from you and Brad kind
of splitting up, who's watching the kids per night during UKG,
are there any other creative solutions to managing both
parenting and gaming at conventions that you and Brad
have come up with that have been helpful that you can know the.
Thing is, there probably are, but you just you come up with
just when. You in the moment.
As thing like I learned from other parents as well, I learned
from other gamers and how they handle their kids.
And I'm very lucky. Like like I said, I don't have
the village. My mother passed away about 1314
years ago now, so I didn't have that mum influence.
But I've been so lucky in that the women whom I've met, even
through mum groups or through gaming, they have been so
inspirational in helping me manage how to have this balance,
how to game with children, how to manage my, my temper with the
kids and how to just deal with that.
And that's just, I think every year I learn something a little
bit new and I learn a new way to cope with it and a new way to
handle situations, a new, a new strategy.
And I think that's, that's kind of, that's the creativity.
That thing is just we try not to compare ourselves to others, but
there's no reason to be inspired by others.
Right. That's the thing.
There's no reason to go. Oh, they can take their kids to
this. Why can't I do it?
They can because they can. They they've found a way to do
it. And that doesn't mean that
they're better than you. It doesn't mean that they've got
it easier than you. It just means they've found a
way. And a lot of parents it like
ask, I mean like you're doing now ask, you're asking.
And I honestly can't tell you what our secret is to it.
If I knew there was a magic form to it, I would write an entire
blog post on it. But as ultimately, like I've
spoken to other people and said, Oh, I've tried this and I've
tried that and I went, Oh, that's a good idea.
Like the ear defenders, you can obviously get loops.
So some kids don't want big ones.
So you try smaller things. Some people have busy bags full
of lots of different activities, keep their kids entertained.
Some of them have kids that like Beanie and like tabletop
Princess and other even get into games as kids.
They're kids that actually want to be content creators
themselves that want to go along and try it and have a go and
they want to interview things. And it's just, that's the thing.
It's just working with your family.
I think I, I wish I could stand around and say this is the
secret here is the answer. But even that's the thing.
I thought I had the answer this year.
I honestly thought that I knew exactly what was going to do.
I knew exactly how we're handling it.
I was like, we're going to go to the family gaming zone, we're
going to do this. It's going to be fine.
None of that happened. And it didn't work.
They struggled this year. For some reason.
They just struggled. But we recognized quite quickly
that they were struggling and decided, well, we'd already
planned for the eventuality that we don't have to stay for the
whole weekend. So we chose to cut it short.
We decided that we'd seen enough.
I said to Brad, I want to go pop into the hall really quickly
Saturday morning just to do a few quick things without
anybody. And Beanie goes, oh, actually, I
would like to come with you. And so he did.
So it was just me and him and with just the two of us, we got
through things very quickly and it was doable.
And then Brad and DJ met us later on and we ended up staying
in the hall for a little bit longer than we intended because
it was karma. We were calmer and the kids
ranged to find some things to enjoy.
So the other downside was the fact that literally we were two
minutes from the doors opening and beanie goes, I need the loo.
And I was like. Of course I was.
Like, no, we're not leaving this line.
I was like, when we get in there, I was like, right, I know
where the toilets are. We're going to run straight to
the toilet, then we're running straight to this vendor because
obviously everyone guns for the big games and the big things.
So oh, yeah. So what about you?
And I talked a little bit before this episode.
We talked about safety, right? And child safety.
I know, I know a lot of content creators who have kids who are
under 5 who refer to their children as player three or
something other than, but I want to, but I want to, I want to
talk about so the safety of your kids.
So what, what would you say? So, OK, I don't have any kids.
So just I'm a great example of this.
What is the best way for me or anyone else to interact with
your children if they're meeting them for the first time in that
gaming, you know, or if you've got like a vendor and they've
got like little promos or things like, you know what I mean?
Because there's like essentially everyone in the convention is a
stranger. You want to protect your kids.
So what do you say to someone when they're interacting with
your children for the first time?
And what do you tell your kids before going into this
environment? No, that's great question
actually. So ultimately, well, I'll tackle
Part 2 first. So before we go into
conventions, obviously Beanie understands DJ doesn't DJ.
It's kind of like we all kind of say to each other, right?
We all have to keep all three of us have to keep an arm DJ, we
have to make sure that he's safe.
Beanie now he's like you are the you are parent .3 now.
And he is very, very protective of his little brother.
Absolutely. Like almost true protective of
his little. He's got such he's, he's a first
time parent. It's delicious, but we obviously
we try very hard to keep DJ. One of the things that we've had
to say to Beanie is if DJ starts to bolt, let us go for him.
Because if his brother goes tries to chase after him, DJ
thinks it's a game and he runs off even faster.
Obviously he thinks it's a game with us too, but it's easier for
we're we're we're taller, we're longer.
We can get to right, Right. Thankfully he didn't bolt at
all. I think the sheer forms of
people he was very much like I want to be up, hold me, don't
let me go. So that was fine.
What we do whenever we take Beanie to a big a big event, we
show him or we try and introduce him to security or staff members
and show him what he's looking for.
So with UKG, obviously everyone's got the badges.
So we can say to him, you're looking for someone that's got
this badge or you need to. There's a child safety point, I
think at UKG, which we didn't show him, but we should have.
So you can, you can say to kids go there.
That's if you can try, look up, look for this.
We try and find, show him where the exits are, where the safe
points are. Obviously at the conventions, he
knows who some of our friends are.
He knows some of them. Those are safe faces.
We also have started, he has a shoulder bag pursing as a
creeper, a Minecraft creeper. And we wrote our phone numbers
on the back of that. And we said to him, if you ever
get lost, and actually what I always say to him, I always tell
him to look for another mummy. This was a piece of advice that
someone gave me to tell their kids was look for another mum
because another mum, she's, she'll have children, she's
safe. A mummy is safe.
I mean, we know that's not necessarily always true, but
generally if you see a mummy who has other children, go up to her
and say I've lost my mummy, she will help you.
So that's, that's what we try with Beanie.
We try and say to him, just look for the staff members, like when
we're at theme parks about this, we show them what costumes and
stuff they're wearing. Look for those.
Look for a grown up that you think is trustworthy or look for
another mummy. We've also taught him very much
the fact if you don't feel safe, you run in the other direction,
right? You bolt.
He knows he can kick and scratch the screen if he needs to.
He's in danger. But yeah, we, you just have to
try. Trying to keep kids safe in this
modern day and age is a, it's probably the most paranoid thing
any mum this day and age can experience.
It is so hard because there is danger around every corner.
And I mean, that danger has always been there.
It's just we are very aware of it now, right?
So that's what we try with him. We will instill that fear into
DJ when he's older. But with other people
interacting with our kids, what we've found is that people,
they, they treat them like grown-ups, which is nice.
I don't think, I don't feel anyone's ever spoken down to
them. I'm going, oh, aren't you cute
little things. I mean, they do with the baby.
Obviously they do because he's, he's adorable.
He's got the big eyes. But with Beanie, they've always
been very kind of they treat him like another gamer.
They ask him what he's interested in.
They talk directly to him, which is nice.
Other adults, other gamers, like our friends, they don't
necessarily talk to the kids kind of thing straight away, but
they will acknowledge them if they've got kids of their own,
they'll go high. They ask him, a lot of them say,
oh, have you seen this? Have you enjoyed this?
Are you enjoying this? And they just they're generally
quite sometimes he's not interested and sometimes if
you're really unfortunate, if you the wrong word and Beanie
will talk your ear off about Minecraft until the cows come
home. So you have to be careful on
that one, but. He will, He will also.
He will also climb on you as if you are as if you are a piece of
gym equipment. Yes.
Which is something. No, I've experienced that the.
Thing is though, it's that's generally when he feels safe
around someone he doesn't or some.
It's one of the possible neuro spicy parts that he doesn't
necessarily recognise boundaries.
He's getting a lot better as he's getting older.
Yeah, when he was young. I mean, little kids tend not to
recognise boundaries too much sometimes either.
DJ. I've watched DJ cuddle a random
person by accident. They look at this case when he
realises it's not Mummy, he's like, Oh no.
But yeah, I think when you're, I mean, if you're talking to kids
at conventions, obviously if you're just randomly talking to
a kid at a convention that you have no and you don't know their
parents, you don't know them. That's kind of that to me is a
bit off. But obviously if you're
interacting with us as a whole family, then yeah, you can talk
to the kids. They're not.
I pray they don't bite you. I'm pretty sure they shouldn't
bite you. I don't.
I can't speak for DJ at the moment if he's do you think?
But no, I just, I think it's nice that people don't ignore
the kids. They do talk to them.
They do acknowledge them. I had one lovely exhibitor who
she, she messaged me prior to press night saying, oh, are you
coming? I've got some games for Beanie.
And then when I got there, she had, she had some teddies for
them as well. And I loved that.
That was really nice of her and that, that's where I was.
There was another, there was another game.
I didn't get to see them, but they were like, Oh yeah, if you
bring the kids, we've got a Santa Claus naughty or nice
thing they can do. Oh, that would have been good to
do with them. So people do get them towards
kids. And there's things there that
people say, Oh no, this is just for the kids and.
You're like, oh, Oh yeah. So what about how often?
Not just at UKGE, because I know, I know there's an air con
and Mollycon and Handy con and all the little gamer meetups
that y'all do that I'm so jealous of.
But our country is too big and we just live too far away from
one another. So I know sometimes you'll rent
these halls and there's usually like a playground out front for
the kids. Like, I mean, it seems like I've
got a really good community of gamers who have children who are
supportive of one another and whose kids get opportunities to
play together, maybe not necessarily at the table with
the game, but in some other form of play.
Yeah, they do that, which is that's always been very nice.
I always get very sad at those events and someone says, oh, no,
I'm not. We can't come because of the
kids. Or we oh, like they're like, oh,
I've got the kids that weekend. I don't we're not going to come.
No, no, bring in the kids. Bring the kids.
It'll be fine. But not everyone wants to.
That's the ultimate for me. It's not everyone wants their
kids there. We had our wedding.
We said kids were invited, but my friend was like, she goes,
no, I'm having a day away from my kids and that's fine.
If you're able to have someone look after your children for the
date, then yeah, go for it. By all means, enjoy not having
someone pulling at your arm every few seconds going I'm
hungry, Come blame me, come do this.
Or as we've experienced with our kids, where they suddenly decide
there's a stage in the corner and they want to put on a show.
I'm like, we had a great one on the last meet, as we did.
We were playing Blood on the Clock Tower and all the kids.
What was hilarious when all the adults had their eyes closed and
so like, DJ was so tiny he was going around like following
Craig around, tapping everyone's hands.
So people have to be like, is that Craig or is that the baby?
Do I open my eyes or not? Right.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but ultimately, like, I
mean, me and Mrs. getting games, we've both said this, that we
like having our kids around. Yeah, it can be stressful, it
kind of thing, but we do love our kids and we want them there.
And it's nice that our kids get along with each other.
Obviously they don't always. Sometimes there's the ultimate
so and so has done this and it's just, but ultimately it's nice
the kids do get along, especially like, so it's nice
that when we get to have the weekend, we can meet up with
gamer friends because then he gets to interact with other
children at the weekend that they have something in common
with. And that's always a nice thing.
And it's, it's nice to have those friendships.
I mean, they might one day never talk to each other again, but
it's nice they've had those friendships now.
I mean, I'm sure I've seen a couple of parents try to marry
off their kids. I know, I know of two friends
where they've got one's got boy, one's got girl and they're like,
oh, we could, we could merge our families.
We can combine our board game collections as one but.
Right. What do you look for if you were
going to, I mean, I guess this is true of any event, but
obviously we're limited to gaming events here.
But what are you looking for from a gaming event that is
going to alert you as as a parent that this particular
convention is making the effort to be safe and conducive for
children? Or maybe I don't want or maybe I
don't want to take my kids to this because I don't know, this
one looks sketchy. Like are there things you look
for that or that you are there buzzwords?
Are there tag lines, anything you know that kind of alert you
to know this is safe to take my kids to?
I mean, most of them is the word.
The Word family is always a great buzzword, obviously
because it it says that everyone there is welcome.
The phrase kids go free is always a great one.
Love that phrase. That's doesn't always mean that
it's kids appropriate, but it does mean that you don't pay for
them, which is always nice. I think if there's any major
buzzwords, usually it's when they market kids events and
these things. If they say this event is for
children like UKG, obviously they market their kids zone.
They emphasize that in their when they when they talk about
their event, they emphasize that.
I don't really see that kind of thing when I've been looking at
MCM and Comic Con. But at the same point that is
also very obviously kids are going to enjoy that and they
will have a kids zone, some of that.
But we, I don't necessarily see it straight away, but I do know
that one of our friends does story time those things.
So I know that that's a kid friendly event.
So you just kind of look when you're looking at conventions.
I tend to just look on the website and I look for, I do
look specifically for the kids stuff.
Is there a kid zone? Are kids welcome?
I I mean, it's been a very long time since I've looked at
anything that's adult only, right?
So that's fair. That is fair, that is.
Fair. One day, maybe.
What what about? OK, so I'm going to use Essen
because it's closer, right? So let's say you were going to
go to Essen spiel and you could not accommodate childcare
because I mean, I realize it's an 8 hour drive or whatever
flight or whatever, you know. So you're going to go to Essen,
but you have to take one or both of the kids with you.
Like if in that, in that situation, would you just be
like, I don't think Essen's the right thing for the family?
Or would you do it like that? That's kind of what I'm getting
at, you know, no. I mean, we, we, we've looked at
Essen and we have agreed that Essen Brad sent me last year.
He's like, if you want to go and you can find someone to go with,
you can go, but you're going on your own.
And I was like, no, I wanted, I'd left it too late and I
wasn't ready to be that far away from my family, OK.
I think, I mean the first time I went to UKG by myself, I felt
horrible pangs of, of missing them and guilt for guilt for
members. I didn't miss them.
You know, Essen, I've definitely looked at and gone.
That is not because I mean Essen, I think I've got the
impression it's like 1 giant shopping trip and that's almost
how we treated UKG this year. And it just, it didn't work.
And I know that would not work for the kids.
Whereas I know that like air con is more geared towards just
gaming, whereas that is something I would take the kids
to. But yeah, something that I know
is just going to be a giant shopping trip, I would not make
that journey for if it was closer, if it was like London, I
might because it's not too far away from home and we can do
other things around it, I suppose.
I mean, if I was to do Essen that way, if it was we were to
make a big holiday out of it and do other things around Essen,
then yes, we would take S, we would do SN, we would we would
do it for part of the day. We would that would be a blip in
our holiday. But if OK, just to do SN, No,
right, No, it was specifically we're going to SN and that's all
we're doing. I wouldn't do it with the kids,
OK, we're going to this part of the country and essence there.
Sure. No, I get that.
I definitely get that. I'm just trying to.
I'm trying to think about how the different conventions
compare. Right, I would.
Love to do SM-1 year just to see what it's like, just just to
experience it. But even I can, just looking at
it, I don't think it's a convention for me in general.
OK, so it sounds like a smaller convention that is focused
almost exclusively on open gaming is more conducive and you
would be more likely to bring your family?
Yeah. I like as opposed to a larger
convention that's more focused on the industry and shopping.
What I like with UKG obviously, is there's a balance between
that. There is the open gaming and
then there's the shops. There's the stores that have
interactive things on it. Like Hashat had the giant spinny
wheel this year. There was a game that we played
that was like a giant version of it was which the cat thing, I
like that balance. I think that's what I'm hoping
that Norwich Gamecon will have. I'm hoping they'll have a nice
balance of open gaming and a little bit of shopping and I
think it's across a couple of a couple of venues as well.
So there'll be a nice walk through.
OK, ignore it yourself, which will obviously lead to Brad
Godeigra did this there and all. Oh.
Yeah, there we go. I smoked a cigarette on that
corner. Oh Lord.
Yeah, that's every, every time, every time we go anywhere there
from which we found probably just as bad, actually, if I took
him anywhere near where I grew up, I would say.
Let me be honest with you, I'm the same way.
If I took you down to Baton Rouge, you'd like, that's the
first McDonald's where I got my job.
That's the freak, you know? Yeah, All.
I would do all the same things. Absolutely.
I. Think with kids I was like you
need more than just open gaming because even open even sitting
down playing, even the best gamer kids will get bored
because they're kids. They just their attention span
is always so much. So I think it's nice to have
other things that they can do like the giant games, the
interact things, the treasure hunts.
They're always a good thing. I OK, we've, you, we've, we've
used treasure hunts with a lot of things we've done to like
even just like when you go on shopping centres or garden
centres, they will have treasure hunts for kids that weave them
through the store so that you can look at this, this and this
while they're looking for Peter Rabbit in the hedges or
something. And that's always a good one.
I mean, we did 1-1 year at UKG where we went around and looked
for a thing and we got it was Yu-gi-oh being was happy to do
it, but he hated the prize at the end.
He's like, I don't like Yu-gi-oh.
I was like, well, why did we do this then?
But it's something that. Kept.
Moving and helps you see and it helps you as a parent see the
whole. So that's a good record.
I mean, I record that parent, grab hold of every treasure map
you can find and just be like, oh, have we found this yet?
Have we found that yet? It gets you moving.
I mean, obviously this year we had the badges, the the badges
that I helped do with the unofficial Insta buddies badges
where you got, I believe you got loads sent to you.
I did. You had.
The Asmodi one which is part of the Pin collective, which got
people moving around the hall looking for things interact.
So Susie, it sounds like based on everything you were
describing that open gaming is not enough.
There needs to be, there needs to be something like a specific
area for kids and whatnot like that.
And that's great because I hadn't thought of it.
That was the impression I had from you at 1st when I was
listening to you. I'm like, OK, so open gaming is
not just enough there, there needs to be more.
Then definitely needs to be more kids need a lot more.
I think it's I, I, I feel like even as an adult, I'd probably
find that just boring. I mean, me personally, I mean
there are plenty of people that go to conventions that just won
a game and just want to sit in open game.
And that's fine for me. I love, I love walking around.
I love seeing people in costumes.
I love the big, the guys in the big Warhammer outfits for as
they're always being, I love there's always Daleks at UKG.
Beanie got a right kick out of the fact that he he was like,
oh, it's a robot. And it went, it went hello,
he's. Oh, he freaked out.
He freaked, but he loved it and kids love that.
They love, I mean don't go wrong little kids.
Not so much DJ. Like when he sees a warming
people, he's like he's scared. His eyes are wide.
He's like, what is that? Don't take me to the giant
thing. But like they were running
around. There was a giant exploding
kittens. Yep, game thing.
They were running in out of the names on that.
There was Chuck a cat goat cheese pizza.
They were going in. There's the giant double games.
They love that kind of stuff. They love getting to interact.
They love photo opportunities, they love badge hunts, all that
kind of. It's always nice to have more
stuff to do. It's almost nice to have too
much stuff to do and not be able to do it all and have that photo
and to a certain degree have that FOMO because you look for,
because that's the kind of stuff that makes you go back, I think.
Right. Yeah.
Oh, if you saw everything, you're like, well, I've done
this, why would I go back? But if you didn't see it all,
you're like, oh, well, maybe next year we can try and catch
that. We can try and do this.
So yeah, I just think it's nice to have those little gimmicks,
OK, but for everyone, not just for the kids, but it's nice to
have that little gimmick that makes you want to go and look at
something and interact with something and to such a great.
Isn't that how they get us to buy these things?
It's true. I mean I'm I'm not entirely sure
as many people would have bought certain games if they hadn't
been giving out plushies of the pin badges for them.
You get that return. That's a freebie.
Everyone. Loves a freebie.
That is true. I think some of the some of the
best vendors I've know, they will work on my kids.
They will they'll be like, oh, do you like this game?
Do you think Mummy should buy you this game?
I'm like, really, really. Because then the kid says
please, you're like, I can't say no to that face.
So you ultimately, if I think if you're selling a game, you want
to appeal to a kid as well, because obviously they're the
ones that are going to beg for it.
They're the ones that, Well, please, please, please, please,
please, please. Yeah, almost as much as we go to
our other halves. Please, please, please, please,
please let me have this game. You've got a.
You've got a lot of I'm fortunate enough I don't have to
do that with Katie. She's usually coming to me like,
well, to be fair, until this year she would come up to me and
be like, so here's this Kickstarter that I'm thinking
about backing. What do you think?
I'm like, OK, let's do it. Whereas like we, we go, this is
Kickstarter and thinking about backing, but can we feed the
family for another, right? Right now we're pretty good.
We don't back a lot of Kickstarters and when we do,
they tend to be for us, not for the kids.
The kid games are pretty instantaneous.
We will, we'll go out and we'll buy those ones.
I mean, I think Beanie's latest one that he's asked for his dog
man, the Attack of the Fleas board game.
Oh yes. It looks just like a rolling
pass, but I'm not. You know what?
If he wants it, why not? So if it's if it's a board game,
I've been still aware. I play Minecraft with them.
I play board game with Minecraft.
I don't play. Video.
There you go. Susie, thank you so much for
joining me and talking to me for all this time about bringing
families to conventions and gaming situations.
I really appreciate it. Is there anything else you have
any final thoughts that you want to share before we close out?
I hope some of it has helped. I hope there's somebody out
there that has listened to this and gone, yes, I can take my
kids to this or oh, OK, I don't have to take my kisses.
I hope that somebody finds the balance that they need out there
for conventions. I feel bad if I've waffled.
I'm going crazy that I'm sorry. My kids drive me mental and I
love them and that is parenting. It's the I want them to love the
things that I love, but I also want them to have their own
interests. And I think it's nice that they
get to like, we've never played those if I hadn't been for
Beanie. So it's nice to have that share
thing. So I just, I hope that this has
been helpful for somebody. And also here, take your kids at
least once, even if it's just for a day.
Take your kids. Enjoy being in there just to
find out whether you can. Yeah.
And remember the snacks, snacks, snacks, snacks and water.
Yes, Mark. The toilets.
Get there it. Is yeah, I can't.
I can't come up with any better advice.
So there it is, Susie, where can everyone find you on all the
socials if they want to reach out to you and ask you more
specific questions about primarily, primarily on.
Instagram, I'm at games with beanie, all one word.
Beanie is BEANYBEAN. What?
Yeah, not IE. There is another.
There is another beanie who is IE.
You can also find me on Facebook.
And I have started delving into the world of TikTok, but don't
expect me to be there. I have one.
I don't know what I'll do with it.
I'm an old, but yes, primarily I am on Instagram and I can be
contacted there and I'm always happy to chat to other parents.
We recently with the Instagram community, I set up a chat
group. It doesn't use very often, but
it is the instant gamers parental support group for just
gaming friends just so that we can talk about these nonsense
thing. It doesn't have to be board
games. I'm always happy to talk about
just kids and life in general. So, well, there you go.
There you go guys. So everyone, thank you for
listening. Don't forget to hit that like
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