1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,680 I used to think the laptop lifestyle was so cool, 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,160 working from the beach, but what I now realize is that 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:11,840 is a lie. Laptop lifestyle means you are working 4 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,960 on the beach. And I strongly believe now that if I'm at 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,720 the beach, I ain't working. And so today in this episode, I want 6 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,440 to talk about how boundaries work in your marketing, in your 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,240 business, and how we can, yes, both care deeply about our clients 8 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,880 and customers and also not have our notifications turned on 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,720 or work really hard and also not respond to DMs 10 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,200 at midnight today. We're going to dive into 11 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,880 this conversation in this episode of the Mindful Marketing Podcast. 12 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,680 But first, a word from our sponsor. Riverside is 13 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,440 the all in one podcast recording and editing tool that I use for 14 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,160 this right here show. I use it to edit not only the audio 15 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,800 and the video. It is like Chef's Kiss magical, making the entire 16 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,530 process so, so easy. Plus, I 17 00:01:00,530 --> 00:01:04,130 love their magic AI clips. Their 18 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:07,330 little AI robot in the background pulls out the most 19 00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:11,130 impactful moments of the episodes without me having to comb through into 20 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:14,730 it myself. Resizes them for social media. So those vertical 21 00:01:14,730 --> 00:01:18,370 videos you see on TikTok and Reels, those all come from Magic 22 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:22,130 AI inside of Riverside. It's literally one click. It spits 23 00:01:22,130 --> 00:01:25,880 out 10 clips. I pick the best one and away I go. Saves me 24 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,560 so much time. If you want to get on the Riverside train, check it out 25 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:33,000 today. The links in the show notes and make sure to use my code, DREA 26 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,600 D R E A at checkout to get 15% off your 27 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:40,200 membership. All right, I gotta start this episode 28 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,040 with a story time because if you're new to this podcast, I have to 29 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,800 provide some context. So I have been working in 30 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,280 this business for 11 years, y' all. I hit my 11th 31 00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:55,330 business anniversary in March of this year, and it's just 32 00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:58,810 wild to me. This is like the thing I've done the longest in my life. 33 00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:03,530 But I followed Gary V in the beginning. And if y' all don't 34 00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:07,210 know who Gary Vee Gary Vaynerchuk is, he is a marketer who 35 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:11,370 talks a lot about marketing. I love some of his concepts, but 36 00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:15,090 the things I don't like are how much effort, time and energy he 37 00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:18,730 puts into marketing. And honestly, it's because he likes it and I love that journey 38 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:21,970 for him. Me, on the other hand, I'm very introverted. 39 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:26,850 I need to protect my energy and so I cannot follow the Gary Vee 40 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:30,570 model of, like, wake up at 6am, spend three hours responding to comments 41 00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:34,130 and messages, document your entire day, and spend every 42 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:37,970 Waking minute, responding to comments. I can't do that. I 43 00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:41,810 will be so depleted just even saying it out loud, I'm 44 00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:45,650 like, I'm exhausted. Okay, So a lot of my boundaries 45 00:02:45,810 --> 00:02:49,450 came from deep reflection in a personal place because I 46 00:02:49,450 --> 00:02:53,270 had to. I literally could not do my job without setting boundaries 47 00:02:53,270 --> 00:02:57,070 in place. So rewind. The year's 2017. I've 48 00:02:57,070 --> 00:03:00,670 been in my business for three years. At that point, I had 40 49 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:04,430 clients. I had my team bump in. We were doing great, 50 00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:08,670 and I was miserable. I was miserable because I was starting to get 51 00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:12,110 these, like, anxiety, ish panic attacks 52 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:15,910 over the notifications on my phone emails. I was 53 00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:19,510 logged into all my clients accounts and on Facebook, y' all, you get all of 54 00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:23,220 the notifications. Instagram, I could only log into five. I 55 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:27,130 think that's still the case. And even then, I 56 00:03:27,130 --> 00:03:30,850 was inundated with requests from my team, from my 57 00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:34,650 clients, from just social media. Nothing bad, but my brain went, 58 00:03:34,650 --> 00:03:38,090 oh, my gosh, they hate you. You know, if you're anxious, 59 00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:40,810 you'll know what I'm saying. Oh, my gosh, everything's terrible. 60 00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:45,810 That was me. And so I put myself in 61 00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:49,450 therapy, got coaching, and what I realized through my process 62 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:53,060 was one, I needed a break. So I took two weeks off, completely 63 00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:56,900 disconnected for the first time ever in my business because prior 64 00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,380 to that, I was working on the beach. I was answering stuff on. On 65 00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:04,020 weekends. So I took a break. And when I came back, that's when I 66 00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:07,180 started meditating. I meditated for something like 67 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:11,020 250 days in a row or something wild like that. Just five minutes a day 68 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,740 using the Headspace app, which I love. 69 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:18,710 And then I turned up all my notifications and I 70 00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:22,510 set one notification in my asana for various things I need 71 00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:26,070 to do. And then I do have things in my Google calendar that notify me. 72 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,990 And I turned off everything else. And I was very 73 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:33,190 happy in that space for a long time, y' all. 74 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:37,590 That boundary of turning off my notifications and. And really 75 00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:41,310 recognizing when anxiety was happening. Cause that was my big problem is, 76 00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:44,270 like, I would get anxious. Then I would, like, judge myself about being anxious and 77 00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:48,070 like, the feelings would just pile up. Meditation helped me acknowledge the 78 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:51,470 anxiety without all the other emotions bogging me down. 79 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:54,910 And I was able to move forward with my life and with my business. Okay. 80 00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:59,630 Boundaries made me feel safe enough to 81 00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:03,429 build my business. And from there, y' all, like, my biggest 82 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,910 year in business, we had almost $900,000 in revenue. Okay, 83 00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:10,750 that was 2022. And 84 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:14,150 that's possible in my mind, due to 85 00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:17,750 the boundaries and creative energy I was able to put into my business. 86 00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:21,710 All right, now, boundaries are not 87 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:25,030 walls. I think boundaries are more like social 88 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:29,430 agreements, if you will. There are some that we just 89 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:33,190 assume from other people, and those are the ones that once they're 90 00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:36,870 pushed, we have to set the boundaries. So for me, it's how I respond to 91 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,700 my Instagram DMs and messages. People who know me know 92 00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:44,780 not to expect an immediate response. I'm just not that type of 93 00:05:44,780 --> 00:05:48,420 person. If I happen to be on Instagram and you message me, sure, maybe if 94 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:52,260 I feel like it, I'll message you back, maybe not. Okay. That 95 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:55,940 is a social agreement that I'm choosing to break. And 96 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:58,940 it's not just in social media. It's the same for my text messages. When people 97 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:02,660 text me, I may take my time texting back. It's just how I 98 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:06,420 am, unless I'm already available and then I will text back. 99 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:10,140 It's. It helps me remain calm throughout my day instead of, 100 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:13,700 like having to switch between all of these things all the time. I usually 101 00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:17,420 batch respond to stuff, batch respond to messages and things. It 102 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:21,260 just works for my brain. I know I'm breaking a social agreement with that, 103 00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:24,940 and I'm able to survive in this world because of it. 104 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:29,820 I set the tone with that. I don't let other people set the tone. 105 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,420 I set the tone. And there have been a few people who've been frustrated with 106 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:36,080 me and we are no longer friends. If you send me a 107 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,800 text and I don't respond right away, and then you send me 50 texts, I'm 108 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,640 going to call you out on it and be like, listen, I can't be available 109 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,600 all the time. Okay? This to me is defining what works for me 110 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,879 as a human in this world. And I think those of us who are people 111 00:06:49,879 --> 00:06:53,280 pleasers, we have a really hard time with that now. The second 112 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:57,600 layer to this is the social media context of it 113 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,280 all. There's like a social understanding collectively, 114 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:05,120 society and community, that as a personal brand, it's your face 115 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,700 on social media. People see you posting, they feel like 116 00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:12,580 they know you. And there's this assumption that because you're 117 00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:15,980 putting yourself out there, that you are open and available 118 00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:19,940 to receive whatever it is they want to give you. We see this happening a 119 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,580 lot in the Internet, especially 120 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:27,540 if we take it to the extreme, people being Internet 121 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,380 bullies essentially and saying whatever they want. I can't tell 122 00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:35,090 you how Many times my YouTube channel is the worst for this, 123 00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:38,890 where people will tell me that whatever they 124 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:42,690 comment about anything, usually it's my voice. People don't either love it or 125 00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:46,530 hate it. And they'll comment or I should go unalive 126 00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:50,050 myself. Okay? People will literally 127 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:53,690 say things like that on my YouTube channel. This 128 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:57,490 is called parasocial relationship because it's my face. Because 129 00:07:57,490 --> 00:08:00,970 I have so much content out there, they feel like 130 00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:04,630 they have an entitled access to 131 00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:08,350 me. My response, I delete the comments. I block them. I move 132 00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:11,430 on. Okay, this is me setting my boundary. 133 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:15,710 You, as a personal brand, have to think about where your boundaries 134 00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:19,510 are and not be afraid of it feeling like you're not 135 00:08:19,510 --> 00:08:23,350 being friendly. Okay? And this is where scripts come into play with me and 136 00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:27,190 help me. This is where ChatGPT has like, saved my butt. Because sometimes 137 00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:30,830 I'll be like, listen, I want to say no to this person. And I 138 00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:34,639 need help saying no in a way that will let 139 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:38,319 them know that I'm serious. Because I tend to smile, y' all, even when I'm 140 00:08:38,319 --> 00:08:41,639 talking to people. Like, my daughter does not take me 141 00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:44,359 seriously. Because I'll be like, don't do that. 142 00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:48,999 Like, it's just how I am. And then the flip side is when 143 00:08:48,999 --> 00:08:52,559 I'm texting, it's like, no. No capitalization, no 144 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:56,039 punctuation. And people are like, are you mad? And I was like, no. I just 145 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:59,799 was going quick, right? And so I use tools to 146 00:08:59,799 --> 00:09:03,479 help me communicate effectively and efficiently so that people 147 00:09:03,479 --> 00:09:07,090 understand that. And I will say 148 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:10,770 because of this, I built the boundaries Bundle. It's a $9 149 00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:14,370 template bundle. You can find it on my website online, 150 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:18,010 drag.com and it is the 151 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:21,170 scripts. It's the scripts for this. I have social media posts for this. If you 152 00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:24,890 want to maintain boundaries, but how you answer dms, what your 153 00:09:24,890 --> 00:09:28,570 hours of operation are, all of those things, how to say no, how to say 154 00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:32,120 yes. And not just social media. I think there is a boundary 155 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,760 setting requirement for business owners in 156 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,600 both your public facing marketing and your private marketing. I like to call 157 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,200 this internal marketing and external marketing. So external marketing is everything 158 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,920 everyone else sees. Internal marketing is marketing to your current clients and 159 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,760 customers. And this is often the biggest missing piece. I talked about this a 160 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,280 couple months ago. Biggest missing piece in a lot of 161 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,520 marketing is internal marketing. You've got to remarket to your current people. 162 00:09:58,450 --> 00:10:02,210 Part of that is setting clear boundaries without alienating them. And so I have the 163 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:05,970 templates for that too. Okay, that was like an unexpected little ad in the 164 00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:09,330 middle of the episode. You're welcome. Okay, so let's talk about 165 00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:13,090 parasocial pressure, because this 166 00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:17,010 comes from people feeling like they know you, but then 167 00:10:17,010 --> 00:10:20,610 Also, we put the pressure on ourselves because we 168 00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:24,450 feel obligated because, well, we put ourselves out there. And 169 00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:28,160 so it is important for you to set those boundaries so that you don't lose 170 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,880 yourself in this process, that you don't get burnt out on this process. Okay? 171 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:36,360 All right. Next thing I gotta talk about hard 172 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,040 work versus hustle. Hard work 173 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,880 versus hustle, okay? I am a believer that there 174 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,240 is space between the soft life, 175 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,000 laptop, lifestyle and hustle. Every day, wake 176 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,330 up at 4am, sleep for four hours lifestyle, okay? 177 00:10:54,810 --> 00:10:58,610 This space in the middle is where I explore because 178 00:10:58,610 --> 00:11:02,170 I believe that we do need to work hard. I'm not a fan of, like, 179 00:11:02,170 --> 00:11:05,970 being unavailable, completely unavailable. Okay. I'm not a fan of, 180 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:09,810 like, you've heard of these, like, coaching programs where, you know, you 181 00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:13,370 sign up and then you join the program and, like, the person's face who's on 182 00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:17,170 the sales page is nowhere to be found. Like, I'm not a huge fan 183 00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:20,500 of that, okay? For me, I like to be involved, 184 00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:24,100 heavily involved. It's my face on the business. I'm gonna have my hands in everything. 185 00:11:24,260 --> 00:11:27,460 Okay? So for me personally, 186 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:31,740 this has been an exploration of me. Like, how far do I go with the 187 00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:34,500 boundaries? And you may have noticed over the years, those of you who've been tracking 188 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,940 with me for a couple years, you may have noticed where some years I am 189 00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:41,780 less available, some years I'm more available. I really feel like I found the 190 00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:45,140 sweet spot between Jemmy, my amazing assistant who 191 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:49,300 helps me keep me on track. But it's still my face, my voice 192 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:53,040 that you see in the inside of the program. I'm the one teaching the 193 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,840 majority of the classes. I'm responding to the comments and questions in the 194 00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:00,080 community. I'm the one responding to my inbox on social media 195 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,040 and by comments. I've tried outsourcing it in the past. Doesn't work for 196 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,720 me. Okay. And so for me, I found that 197 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,520 space between hustle and hard work. 198 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,360 And yeah, it is hard work. It requires intense focus. 199 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,160 Especially, again, I'm introverted. So, like, to go in and respond to 200 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:22,660 comments and questions, I had to be in a mental space for it. But not 201 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:25,580 always available. Okay? I am available 202 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,900 consistently at a frequency that I set. 203 00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:34,300 And I'm also giving myself grace if there are moments in time. 204 00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:38,060 Again, recently I had to step away for a few days for 205 00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:41,740 a funeral. I'm not available. Okay? There's someone who 206 00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:45,420 messaged me. I'll get back to you in a few days. I have life lifing, 207 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,620 and that is the challenge of being a personal brand in business. And we just 208 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:52,410 have to acknowledge that. Okay, another, another point that I want to 209 00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:56,210 make in this boundaries episode of the podcast is that 210 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,970 you have to know yourself. And I don't mean this in like a 211 00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:03,450 woo woo way, like be in touch with your inner goddess. 212 00:13:03,530 --> 00:13:06,730 Okay, do that if that's for you. But your 213 00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,610 preferences are a strategy. And I think 214 00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:13,410 oftentimes where we start feeling burnt out and like lines are 215 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:17,050 being crossed is that we're trying to do all of the 216 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:20,850 things and then we feel resentful with the feedback that 217 00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:24,630 we're getting. O so I'll give an example. If you hate video, 218 00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:28,190 you hate being on video, you don't want to do 219 00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:31,670 lights, camera, action, put yourself in front of the camera, talk 220 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:35,510 to nobody in an empty room like I'm doing right now. 221 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:39,230 If you don't like it, then you're going to feel like 222 00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:42,950 that's a boundary being crossed when you do it. So you have to understand 223 00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:46,950 your preferences. Okay? So for me, for example, 224 00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:51,870 I recently talked about this, my email newsletter. I felt like I was getting 225 00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:55,670 a lot of back and forth emails about something in particular and it was making 226 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:59,510 me feel frustrated. And so I, after talking with Chat 227 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:02,910 GPT, I was like, help. Why am I not writing this email? 228 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:07,310 Realized that two boundaries being crossed. 229 00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:11,150 One, I'm not a writer. Like, like that. 230 00:14:11,710 --> 00:14:15,390 I like to write fun things, okay? Like when I write, 231 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,600 I don't like it to be serious with serious writing to me, 232 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,840 drags me down. I also, I have so many typos and 233 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,240 spelling errors, y' all, that for years I thought I wasn't a writer. And you've 234 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,440 heard me say it on this podcast. I almost said it again. I'm not a 235 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,120 writer. I am a writer. I just have to also be an 236 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,720 editor. And like editing something that I don't like writing in the first 237 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,520 place drags me down. I realized this recently when I wrote my first romance 238 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,990 novel. I actually like writing. I like 239 00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,830 editing when it's something that is fun. Writing 240 00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:51,590 and editing when it's for work drags me down. So instead I recorded 241 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:55,390 a video. Boom, done. And then I took the transcript of that, I put IT 242 00:14:55,390 --> 00:14:58,910 in the ChatGPT and said, can you write an email to go with this? Boom, 243 00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:02,990 done. I removed the resistance. And that's why 244 00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:06,630 preferences are a strategy. I felt like a boundary is being crossed the back and 245 00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:10,150 forth, when in reality it was just not my preference, my preferred way to 246 00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:13,950 communicate. Okay, so find your preferences and that will make things 247 00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:17,350 smoother. I also want to say with boundaries, that 248 00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:21,750 this is where values come into play. Like they're so 249 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:25,590 important. Especially here, now, 2025, the year of Beyonce. 250 00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:29,590 We need to have our boundaries and our 251 00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:33,430 values very clear in our business. On my about page of my website, when I 252 00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:37,030 talk on the podcast, when I talk in my social media videos, 253 00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:40,870 I'm talking a lot about my boundaries and my values. One of my 254 00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:44,470 values is that I like to be diverse and inclusive. Okay, 255 00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:48,410 I have an instant diversity. Mark, if you didn't know I'm 256 00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:52,250 black, a black woman, this. There's an intersectionality there 257 00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:56,050 that I can't fight. People just look at me and they make assumptions, okay? 258 00:15:56,450 --> 00:16:00,130 So I lead with my values because that is something I'm very 259 00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:03,610 proud of. Whatever other people assume, there are lots of other 260 00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:07,210 intersectionality moments in the way that I show up in my 261 00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:10,770 diversity. And I'm a millennial, 262 00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:14,290 too, so millennials and down, I would say Gen Z, 263 00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:18,010 even more, are looking for businesses that 264 00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:21,810 aren't just esthetic, that aren't just the most popular 265 00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:25,250 one. They're looking for the ones that have the same values as them. 266 00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:29,410 And this is why we see values led marketing happening a lot. This 267 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:33,050 video, for instance, is releasing during Pride Month. There are a lot 268 00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:36,730 of companies, I'm looking at you, Target, where they 269 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:40,330 try to have some value marker that doesn't 270 00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:44,170 feel sincere, and then they get canceled for 271 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:48,020 it or they get social backlash for it. Target's not canceled. We're 272 00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:51,740 all still shopping at Target. But they got called out 273 00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:55,420 publicly on social media for their misstep. It 274 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:59,260 is because consumers are not only more 275 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:02,980 values led, but they're more vocal about what 276 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,780 their values are. Because if they believe the same things you do, 277 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:10,420 there's an inherent trust in that. So, yes, I put my 278 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:14,020 pronouns everywhere. I put them in my email signature 279 00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:17,860 because I want to signal out subtly. If you don't 280 00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:21,480 believe that I should have my pronouns in my bio 281 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,280 and in my signature, you and I are not going to get along at all. 282 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,680 So we're going to just start there and then away we go. 283 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,120 All right, now let's get practical about this boundaries 284 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,880 conversation. There's a few things that I want you to think about right here, 285 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,600 now, today, as you're listening to this. I want you to make a decision about 286 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:44,160 this. I don't want you to get caught up in whatever social media 287 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,880 platforms or marketing tools automatically want you to do. 288 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:51,610 Okay, first step, do you want your email on your 289 00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:55,410 phone? And do you want those notifications? Okay, I will say this, 290 00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:58,770 too. At this Part your boundaries can change over time. Try it out and see 291 00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:02,210 what works for you. At this season in my life, I turned my 292 00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:06,010 notifications back on because I was missing things 293 00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:09,770 I said. I mentioned. Recently I went to a funeral and I found 294 00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:13,570 that when I was coming back the week after, I was missing some 295 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:17,130 things because I was grieving and stuck in my head and caught up in a 296 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:20,610 lot of things. And so right now I need my notifications to like 297 00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:24,230 remind me of the things that I need to do. And even then, I 298 00:18:24,230 --> 00:18:27,670 still missed my dog's groomer's appointment because I missed the calendar 299 00:18:27,910 --> 00:18:31,030 notification even though the groomer texted me the day before. 300 00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:35,190 So I'm just at a season of my life where I need reminders 301 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:39,070 constantly about what I'm supposed to be doing because mom 302 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:42,910 brain plus grief equals. I don't know, my head's 303 00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:46,430 at the clouds. Okay, so you can change your boundaries at any time. Okay, let 304 00:18:46,430 --> 00:18:49,890 me go back to this one. Email. Do you want this on your phone and 305 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:53,730 do you want notifications? Social media. Do you want this on your phone and do 306 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:57,450 you want notifications? These are important questions to ask you because their 307 00:18:57,450 --> 00:19:01,250 assumption, the social construct, is that they're on your phone and you have 308 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,490 the notifications on. But you, my friend, can make that decision. Okay, 309 00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:08,290 next thing, how frequently do you want those 310 00:19:08,290 --> 00:19:11,810 notifications and how do you want to respond to them? Okay, so for 311 00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:15,580 example, I know someone who has an email on their 312 00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:19,380 phone. They like to look at the emails on their phone and they'll only respond 313 00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:22,780 to those that are emergency based. Everything else, they respond on their 314 00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:25,620 desktop at set times. That is a very 315 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:29,060 specific choice that person has made. 316 00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:32,900 You can decide how you want to do this for you. Okay. 317 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:37,100 I know someone else who doesn't have any social media on 318 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:40,940 their phone, like on their mobile device. They only have it on their 319 00:19:40,940 --> 00:19:44,460 computer and they respond to things on their computer. They actually came to me because 320 00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:47,640 they were like, I can't post a stories on my computer. And I was like, 321 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,480 yeah, that's a tough one. It's going to be tough. And we found some 322 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,280 workarounds for them. But the main thing is you get to 323 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,920 decide. Okay, so your, your response time. Let's 324 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,680 decide on that now. Let's set clear boundaries. I want you to 325 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:06,320 think about how do you want your values 326 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,040 to show up and give signals to people about what 327 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,520 your boundaries are. For me, I have kids, 328 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,540 I have other responsib. I'm 329 00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:20,700 starting a second business. So for me I have to be very clear. 330 00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:24,860 If you Email me. Jemmy's going to respond, most likely. 331 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,900 Okay. My assistant is here. She helps me. 332 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:32,700 Second, Boundary value. I use AI in my work. 333 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:37,260 Very clear about that. Made a whole email lead magnet funnel about 334 00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:41,020 AI. Okay. And if you need help with this again, I have 335 00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:44,460 the boundaries bundle that will guide you through this. In fact, one of the. 336 00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:48,460 One of my favorite things in this bundle is I built a business 337 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:52,500 GPT and I actually did a walkthrough on my YouTube channel. I'll link it in 338 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:56,020 the show notes of how you can build your business value. 339 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:59,700 So Business value custom built GPT using my 340 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:03,460 framework to help you get values for your business. So, you know, 341 00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:07,100 you don't just come up with like, we're, you know, we're authentic, we have 342 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,620 integrity. Like, let's go a little bit deeper. And so that business 343 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:14,100 values GPT will help you with that. All right. I also 344 00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:17,780 want you to go to your website and your email and 345 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:21,760 clearly think about. You can either put this on your website or just know 346 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:25,160 what are your business hours of operation? Okay. I think it's 347 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,560 unreasonable expectation for 348 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,680 solo small business owners to be available 24 7. Okay. There 349 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,520 are some exceptions. There are some exceptions, but I personally think it's 350 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,880 unreasonable. And you get to set what those 351 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,720 parameters are for you, what reasonable looks like for you. You get to 352 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,120 decide. I will say this. There are some industries that is harder, 353 00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:50,850 uh, my husband works in real estate, for instance. And 354 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:54,690 it's harder to set boundaries in that industry because it is a lot of 355 00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:58,370 evening and weekend work. But if, you know, if you go into it knowing it's 356 00:21:58,370 --> 00:22:01,970 a lot of evening and weekend work, you can still set boundaries around 357 00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:05,530 that and make that decision for you. Listen, 358 00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:09,370 boundaries do not have to be something that's scary. They do not have to feel 359 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:12,570 like you're putting up walls. They do not have to feel like you're shutting people 360 00:22:12,570 --> 00:22:16,330 out. I want you to think about boundaries as an invitation. You're inviting people 361 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:20,150 in. I want you to think of them as a value signal so that 362 00:22:20,150 --> 00:22:23,590 you find the right clients and customers that align with you. And I don't want 363 00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:27,030 you to think this is an excuse not to work hard or that you're lazy. 364 00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:30,830 You're not lazy. You're just trying to be a human in 365 00:22:30,830 --> 00:22:34,470 this very digital world and you're trying to survive. 366 00:22:34,470 --> 00:22:37,950 Okay? So do what you need to do to survive and know that 367 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,990 you're still working hard, my friend. Thank you for listening to this episode of the 368 00:22:41,990 --> 00:22:45,480 Mindful Marketing Podcast. I'll be back soon with another episode. In the 369 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,320 meantime, can you give us a five star rating on either Apple Podcasts 370 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,120 or Spotify? It helps keep us in the top 100 marketing podcasts. And 371 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,800 I love to see some melanin in the top. And that's all 372 00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,200 thanks to your support. I'll see you next week. Bye for now.